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Is it bad? I dont wanna be a Baby Momma

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Printed Date: Dec 10 2017 at 9:18pm


Topic: Is it bad? I dont wanna be a Baby Momma
Posted By: OhMyCurlz
Subject: Is it bad? I dont wanna be a Baby Momma
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 12:57pm
Do you have a problem being referred to as a "babymomma"? My friends and I were discussing this and it seems the ones that were in relationships (and are older) take offense to being described as that while the ones that are younger (and also a bit more hood) take pride in it. 

Thoughts? 



Replies:
Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 1:00pm


this is a sensitive topic around these parts


Posted By: femmemichelle
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 1:01pm
I mean I would be especially offended if I had been previously married then divorced and someone had the nerve to utter that mess in my face. 




Posted By: OhMyCurlz
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 1:01pm
Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:



this is a sensitive topic around these parts

LOL.....oh forreal? Oh sh*t. 




Posted By: eanaj5
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 1:02pm

Get ur special umbrellas and galoshes out cuz...





Posted By: bindy
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 1:04pm
Avatar


Posted By: Meme0887
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 1:06pm
Yes..

I see nothing positive about being one. 


Posted By: lexis83
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 1:10pm
I'm here for this


Posted By: thewonderfulwa
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 1:12pm
I don't use the term in my life & I find it to be disrespectful as some way to diminish the importance of the mother so yes it is offensive.



Posted By: kfoxx1998
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 1:13pm
Here we go againLOL

This is from niccah's not wanting to acknowledge previous relationships by referring to the child's mother as an ex.  Baby's momma sounds nice and detached but is the farthest from detached you can get.  IDK.  They need to do better. 


Posted By: Wildfire
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 1:30pm
Originally posted by bindy bindy wrote:

Avatar


LMFAO.....@ this gifDead


in the J'can context, its babymother, and its not something thats looked down on. In fact, the babymother gets plenty of respect, or comes first. (where is Diane? I need one of her eloquent posts on the matterLOL) babymother is even used to describe upper crust women, who have a child by a man who they are not married to. I cant recall any outrage over the term.

For some reason i feel likein the US context, babymama bares a different connotation, even though its the same thing, just worded differently?



Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 1:44pm
If you have a baby.....your are the momma.....and a baby momma.....they hate the term.....I rather be more worried with having wedlock babies...


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 1:47pm
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

If you have a baby.....your are the momma.....and a baby momma.....they hate the term.....I rather be more worried with having wedlock babies...


but the term implies that you are indeed referring to your bastard baby and their mother.  it was not/is not a term referring to wedlock babies. yes, "technically" every woman on earth who has ever given birth is a baby momma but that's not what that term means or its origination.


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 1:50pm
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

If you have a baby.....your are the momma.....and a baby momma.....they hate the term.....I rather be more worried with having wedlock babies...


but the term implies that you are indeed referring to your bastard baby and their mother.  it was not/is not a term referring to wedlock babies. yes, "technically" every woman on earth who has ever given birth is a baby momma but that's not what that term means or its origination.


These thoughts aren't related.....one is my opinion on the subject the other is a bigger issue that is more important......LOL


Posted By: Yardgirl
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 1:58pm
Originally posted by Wildfire Wildfire wrote:

Originally posted by bindy bindy wrote:

Avatar


LMFAO.....@ this gifDead


in the J'can context, its babymother, and its not something thats looked down on. In fact, the babymother gets plenty of respect, or comes first. (where is Diane? I need one of her eloquent posts on the matterLOL) babymother is even used to describe upper crust women, who have a child by a man who they are not married to. I cant recall any outrage over the term.

For some reason i feel likein the US context, babymama bares a different connotation, even though its the same thing, just worded differently?


ConfusedConfused 

Are we from the same place?


Posted By: liesnalibis
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 2:00pm
I mean...people gon always have a opinion about anything that you do so it shouldn't even matter. Just be the best you you can be. That sounds corny but you know what I mean. You might be a baby mama but you can be doing better than a lot of people without kids or people who were married when they had kids. It's just another form of cattiness. 


Posted By: OhMyCurlz
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 2:01pm
This may be a bit off topic, but it especially bothers me to hear the "main stream" use that word. I remember when Fox called Michelle Obama a "babymomma" and then justified it by saying that there is a movie called "Baby Momma" with an all white cast. 


Posted By: P31chick
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 2:02pm
I just dont like the grammatical aspect of the phrase....Id be okay with babies Mother....cause it is what it is, just use proper grammer is all I'm saying.


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 2:03pm
UOTE=Yardgirl]
Originally posted by Wildfire Wildfire wrote:

Originally posted by bindy bindy wrote:

Avatar


LMFAO.....@ this gifDead


in the J'can context, its babymother, and its not something thats looked down on. In fact, the babymother gets plenty of respect, or comes first. (where is Diane? I need one of her eloquent posts on the matterLOLbabymother is even used to describe upper crust women, who have a child by a man who they are not married to. I cant recall any outrage over the term.

For some reason i feel likein the US context, babymama bares a different connotation, even though its the same thing, just worded differently?


ConfusedConfused 

Are we from the same place?
[/QUOTE]



Posted By: Wildfire
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 2:03pm
Originally posted by Yardgirl Yardgirl wrote:


ConfusedConfused 

Are we from the same place?

Everybody knows we areConfused
 

That's why i asked for other opinions. Your experiences may be different. I dont know. Ive never seen or heard a babymother scorned or reviled because she is a babymother. Usually there are other issues related to why the woman is treated or looked at a certain way --maybe not getting along with the family; she had a child with a man who was already married, etc. Even the dancehall DJs treat the babymothers with respect ---

and yes YG, I have heard the term "babymother" used to describe uptown hoity-toity women how have kids out of wedlock. Nobody says "baby's mother". 


Posted By: Wildfire
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 2:04pm
Originally posted by EPITOME<div><br></div><div><img src=http://cdn.niketalk.com/f/fe/298x298px-LL-fe6c2b4a_v1B0I3E.gif border=0 /></div>[/QUOTE EPITOME

[/QUOTE wrote:



lmaoLOL

lmaoLOL
go away


Posted By: SeducTress
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 2:11pm
Baby momma is not a term of endearment.

Mother of my child(ren)will suffice.

Calling someone a baby momma is shade don't care how you try to slice it.

Would you walk in a jewelry store and tell them you came to buy bling?
Granted bling is outdated...

If you and your significant other were in the presence of dignitaries/media would you REALLY want to be referred to as his baby moms. Especially if said "baby" is now 10. I'll wait.

Come now.

It's cultural vernacular meant to shame single moms.

<------ doesn't have kids.


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 2:13pm
It is a term of the inarticulate and poor. I judge the people who use it more than any one who would fit the description


Posted By: SeducTress
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 2:13pm
Originally posted by OhMyCurlz OhMyCurlz wrote:

This may be a bit off topic, but it especially bothers me to hear the "main stream" use that word. I remember when Fox called Michelle Obama a "babymomma" and then justified it by saying that there is a movie called "Baby Momma" with an all white cast. 


This is what happens when we don't guard the fort. Smfh



Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 2:17pm
yeah I agree w this page...I don't call anyone I like a 'baby mama'.  I'd feel like I lost if the future father of my child refers to me as one.  


Posted By: kfoxx1998
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 2:19pm
Originally posted by liesnalibis liesnalibis wrote:

I mean...people gon always have a opinion about anything that you do so it shouldn't even matter. Just be the best you you can be. That sounds corny but you know what I mean. You might be a baby mama but you can be doing better than a lot of people without kids or people who were married when they had kids. It's just another form of cattiness. 


Well said star.


Posted By: kfoxx1998
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 2:24pm
Originally posted by SeducTress SeducTress wrote:


It's cultural vernacular meant to shame single moms.


Yes that's exactly what I mean.  It is intended to diminish the importance of / respect towards the woman being referred to. Whether to the new chick or those who might mistake that ex girlfriend as someone who matters as an individual. 


Posted By: Brjasuga51
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 2:24pm
Originally posted by Wildfire Wildfire wrote:

Originally posted by bindy bindy wrote:

Avatar


LMFAO.....@ this gifDead


in the J'can context, its babymother, and its not something thats looked down on. In fact, the babymother gets plenty of respect, or comes first. (where is Diane? I need one of her eloquent posts on the matterLOL) babymother is even used to describe upper crust women, who have a child by a man who they are not married to. I cant recall any outrage over the term.

For some reason i feel likein the US context, babymama bares a different connotation, even though its the same thing, just worded differently?

Definetly ...u hit it the nail right on the head. Its different in the US


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 2:25pm
So is baby daddy okay?


Posted By: kfoxx1998
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 2:26pm
No Sandy.  It sounds like an underaged father tooLOL


Posted By: Wildfire
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 2:28pm
Originally posted by kfoxx1998 kfoxx1998 wrote:

Originally posted by liesnalibis liesnalibis wrote:

I mean...people gon always have a opinion about anything that you do so it shouldn't even matter. Just be the best you you can be. That sounds corny but you know what I mean. You might be a baby mama but you can be doing better than a lot of people without kids or people who were married when they had kids. It's just another form of cattiness. 


Well said star.

IA


Posted By: kfoxx1998
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 2:28pm


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 2:29pm
KFoxx I may or may not know the words to this song.......


Posted By: kfoxx1998
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 2:30pm
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

KFoxx I may or may not know the words to this song.......


That's the jam on the low low


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 2:30pm
i may have referred to my dh as my future baby daddy


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 2:30pm
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

i may have referred to my dh as my future baby daddy


LOLLOLLOLLOL

I may have as well.....


Posted By: SeducTress
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 2:31pm
I would call him the pappy affectionately if we are being silly.

If I ever called him baby daddy I hope the fool would recognize I'm shading him on his performance.

Like, that's my version of calling you a bum..... lol



Posted By: Ds2nice
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 2:31pm
Well I don't take any pride in that.  I guess i'm still old fashioned.  I still feel that there is something terribly wrong if you're not good enough to be a wife but good enough to be a baby mama.


Posted By: kfoxx1998
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 2:31pm
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

i may have referred to my dh as my future baby daddy


Guilty.  After the last time we talked about this and I heard yt ppl start saying it I knew we had to do betterDead

ETA:  OMG ducky that is so true because we mean it as saying basically you turned out to be "not sh*t" but a baby daddy. 


Posted By: Ds2nice
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 2:35pm
Baby Daddy the same thing.  Whenever i hear someone refer to a person as baby daddy, my mind automatically thinks low of that man.   I guess its because of what I used to see when I was young and it just stuck with me that this is not a good thing to have.
 
But to each its own.  I see baby mamas and baby daddies having better relationships than married couples these days.  So its all about each person's preference and values. 


Posted By: OhMyCurlz
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 2:40pm
Originally posted by kfoxx1998 kfoxx1998 wrote:

Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

i may have referred to my dh as my future baby daddy


Guilty.  After the last time we talked about this and I heard yt ppl start saying it I knew we had to do betterDead

ETA:  OMG ducky that is so true because we mean it as saying basically you turned out to be "not sh*t" but a baby daddy. 

This. 

I feel like they lurk around corners and sh*t to hear the latest verbiage that we use.....even the things that we don't even think of as a "term" or wouldn't want appropriated. Like truthfully, "baby momma" is just an example of bad grammar at it's core (with negative connotations). 

Then here they go making movies and ish out of it......


Posted By: Yardgirl
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 2:53pm
Originally posted by Wildfire Wildfire wrote:

Originally posted by Yardgirl Yardgirl wrote:


ConfusedConfused 

Are we from the same place?

Everybody knows we areConfused
 

That's why i asked for other opinions. Your experiences may be different. I dont know. Ive never seen or heard a babymother scorned or reviled because she is a babymother. Usually there are other issues related to why the woman is treated or looked at a certain way --maybe not getting along with the family; she had a child with a man who was already married, etc. Even the dancehall DJs treat the babymothers with respect ---

and yes YG, I have heard the term "babymother" used to describe uptown hoity-toity women how have kids out of wedlock. Nobody says "baby's mother". 

People say child's mother though. I've spent my fair share of time around the upper crust and they use son's mother or daughter's mother. Then again, they don't have children out of wedlock like that; even if it means a shotgun wedding. Respect for a woman because she's a particular man's BM is usually a ghetto type of mentality. 

You're right, no one is reviled because she's a BM. However, it's widely understood that the parents of the child might not have been in a committed relationship.


Posted By: Princess Grace
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 2:57pm
So its the term that is diminishing your honor, and not the fact that you had a baby out of wedlock???  Yeah okay, lets go with that.


Posted By: Wildfire
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 2:59pm
Originally posted by Yardgirl Yardgirl wrote:


People say child's mother though. I've spent my fair share of time around the upper crust and they use son's mother or daughter's mother. Then again, they don't have children out of wedlock like that; even if it means a shotgun wedding. Respect for a woman because she's a particular man's BM is usually a ghetto type of mentality. 

This isnt true in my experience. I know - and know of- upper crust women who are in long term, and short term relationships in which they have a child or children. Emily Crooks is not married to Mark Shields. I consider her upper crust of sorts. Not of the Matalon calibre, but upper crust, nonetheless, and i can think of several other women.

It doesnt happen on the wide scale as it does with "downtown" women, but it does happen.


Posted By: Yardgirl
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 3:05pm
Originally posted by Wildfire Wildfire wrote:

Originally posted by Yardgirl Yardgirl wrote:


People say child's mother though. I've spent my fair share of time around the upper crust and they use son's mother or daughter's mother. Then again, they don't have children out of wedlock like that; even if it means a shotgun wedding. Respect for a woman because she's a particular man's BM is usually a ghetto type of mentality. 

This isnt true in my experience. I know - and know of- upper crust women who are in long term, and short term relationships in which they have a child or children. Emily Crooks is not married to Mark Shields. I consider her upper crust of sorts. Not of the Matalon calibre, but upper crust, nonetheless, and i can think of several other women.

It doesnt happen on the wide scale as it does with "downtown" women, but it does happen.

Oh I meant UPPER crust types, not Emily Crooks. She's a well-known professional which is a big difference. And they're getting married this year, apparently. He's so hot to me LOL



Posted By: Princess Grace
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 3:14pm
Professional or hoodrat, if he didn't marry you but skeeted a baby in you , you made yourself a baby momma. That applies to the Upper East Side or the Bronx. 




Posted By: Wildfire
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 3:17pm
well, they ain't married yet YG.....there are a few other ladies not public figures, so i will decline from naming names...but its just not possible that no upper crusts ever have kids out of wedlock, its just doesnt happen often ---that people know of anyway.

why does her being a well known professional make a big difference though? --curious




Posted By: Princess Grace
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 3:18pm
Sometimes this site scares me.....


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 3:21pm
Originally posted by Yardgirl Yardgirl wrote:

Originally posted by Wildfire Wildfire wrote:

Originally posted by Yardgirl Yardgirl wrote:


People say child's mother though. I've spent my fair share of time around the upper crust and they use son's mother or daughter's mother. Then again, they don't have children out of wedlock like that; even if it means a shotgun wedding. Respect for a woman because she's a particular man's BM is usually a ghetto type of mentality. 

This isnt true in my experience. I know - and know of- upper crust women who are in long term, and short term relationships in which they have a child or children. Emily Crooks is not married to Mark Shields. I consider her upper crust of sorts. Not of the Matalon calibre, but upper crust, nonetheless, and i can think of several other women.

It doesnt happen on the wide scale as it does with "downtown" women, but it does happen.

Oh I meant UPPER crust types, not Emily Crooks. She's a well-known professional which is a big difference. And they're getting married this year, apparently. He's so hot to me LOL



lemme re-use the same gif



Posted By: OhMyCurlz
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 3:22pm
So what if you had your baby out of wedlock...and then married the "baby daddy". Is like your baby mama status erased because you're married now? 

So I guess Tiny isn't a baby mama anymore, but if Oprah and Stedman could/did have kids...Oprah would be a baby mama. 


Posted By: Wildfire
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 3:24pm
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

Originally posted by Yardgirl Yardgirl wrote:



lemme re-use the same gif



*cackles*

he looks ok in real life....for a Brit






Posted By: Meme0887
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 3:29pm
I don't consider people who are together be baby mamas/daddies. 

When I hear baby mama it is usually associated with someone who laid down with some sorry ass dude..knowing u will never be his wife and chasing him down to take care of his kid/kids


Posted By: StylingArabella
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 3:32pm
That term dehumanizes both parties being talked about IMO. By saying "Baby momma" you are simply stating that the women involved is nothing more than an object that bared YOUR child and that the "baby" is simply a result of sleeping with that objectified women not your daughter, son, or child's name. Trash and deflection if you ask me.

Re wording the pharse is more pleasant such as "That's the mother of my child", "She's my son's mom", or "That's Carol..she's Jane's mother"...hell "that's my Ex" is even bettter.


Posted By: Yardgirl
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 3:35pm
Originally posted by Wildfire Wildfire wrote:

well, they ain't married yet YG.....there are a few other ladies not public figures, so i will decline from naming names...but its just not possible that no upper crusts ever have kids out of wedlock, its just doesnt happen often ---that people know of anyway.

why does her being a well known professional make a big difference though? --curious


I'm not saying it's not possible but it's just not the norm like with "regular" people.

It makes a difference because an upper crust girl is not having a child by a policeman. That's blue collar work, essentially.

Cindy Breakspeare said her friends' parents sat them down on the living room couch and said "You see what Cindy has done... don't even think about it " LOLLOL


Posted By: Wildfire
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 3:38pm
Originally posted by Yardgirl Yardgirl wrote:

Originally posted by Wildfire Wildfire wrote:

well, they ain't married yet YG.....there are a few other ladies not public figures, so i will decline from naming names...but its just not possible that no upper crusts ever have kids out of wedlock, its just doesnt happen often ---that people know of anyway.

why does her being a well known professional make a big difference though? --curious


I'm not saying it's not possible but it's just not the norm like with "regular" people.

It makes a difference because an upper crust girl is not having a child by a policeman. That's blue collar work, essentially.

Cindy Breakspeare said her friends' parents sat them down on the living room couch and said "You see what Cindy has done... don't even think about it " LOLLOL

i said that though

and yeah, Cindy is upper crust def

but bob was half white and a celeb. so i guess that made the difference.

Mark is white and a foreigner. So I guess therein lies the diff too. Nobody really thinks of him as "just a polcieman". You know Sheilds and Adams aint seen as being in the same categoryLOL

Aint nobody frowning on Emily


Posted By: Yardgirl
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 3:38pm
LOLLOLLOLLOL Epitome. I think he's a good-looking man. 


Posted By: Wildfire
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 3:40pm
YG...was Mark married whilst he was dating her? cant recall


Posted By: Yardgirl
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 3:41pm
Originally posted by Wildfire Wildfire wrote:

Originally posted by Yardgirl Yardgirl wrote:

Originally posted by Wildfire Wildfire wrote:

well, they ain't married yet YG.....there are a few other ladies not public figures, so i will decline from naming names...but its just not possible that no upper crusts ever have kids out of wedlock, its just doesnt happen often ---that people know of anyway.

why does her being a well known professional make a big difference though? --curious


I'm not saying it's not possible but it's just not the norm like with "regular" people.

It makes a difference because an upper crust girl is not having a child by a policeman. That's blue collar work, essentially.

Cindy Breakspeare said her friends' parents sat them down on the living room couch and said "You see what Cindy has done... don't even think about it " LOLLOL

i said that though

and yeah, Cindy is upper crust def

but bob was half white and a celeb. so i guess that made the difference.

Mark is white and a foreigner. So I guess therein lies the diff too. Nobody really thinks of him as "just a polcieman". You know Sheilds and Adams aint seen as being in the same categoryLOL

Aint nobody frowning on Emily


Yuh mad man. Bob's ethnicity made not a damn difference. She turned out to be the love of his life though. That's why I don't agree with the fuss about her giving the lecture recently.

Adams is TAINTED!!!! Betta yuh did seh Radcliffe. 


Posted By: Yardgirl
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 3:42pm
Originally posted by Wildfire Wildfire wrote:

YG...was Mark married whilst he was dating her? cant recall

No but I suspect that he might have been married while he was with Keneea but got divorced somewhere along the way. 


Posted By: Wildfire
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 3:42pm
dwl@ radcliffe!!!...i just had an image of radcliffe and emily together....dwl


Posted By: Yardgirl
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 3:44pm
Mi nuh know why mi find this picture so funny



DWL!!!


Posted By: Wildfire
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 4:02pm
rasssssLOL


Posted By: SeducTress
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 4:03pm
So. Let me get this straight. A woman does what women are equipped to do. Give birth.
But because she had the child outside of marriage she needs to be okay with being referred to as someone's baby momma.

She can be a hard working educated homeowner juggling the pressures of single motherhood. Hell, running her own business....but nah, she's still reduced to baby momma.

Uh huh. Gotcha!

Lemme know how that hateful sh*t works out in your favor when it's your turn.


You basically playing yourself. This is classic special snowflake syndrome.

*exits thread laughing hysterically*


Posted By: OhMyCurlz
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 4:05pm
Originally posted by SeducTress SeducTress wrote:

So. Let me get this straight. A woman does what women are equipped to do. Give birth.
But because she had the child outside of marriage she needs to be okay with being referred to as someone's baby momma.

She can be a hard working educated homeowner juggling the pressures of single motherhood. Hell, running her own business....but nah, she's still reduced to baby momma.

Uh huh. Gotcha!

Lemme know how that hateful sh*t works out in your favor when it's your turn.


You basically playing yourself. This is classic special snowflake syndrome.

*exits thread laughing hysterically*
You summed it up best. Clap




Posted By: Wildfire
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 4:37pm

Originally posted by SeducTress SeducTress wrote:

So. Let me get this straight. A woman does what women are equipped to do. Give birth.
But because she had the child outside of marriage she needs to be okay with being referred to as someone's baby momma. 

She can be a hard working educated homeowner juggling the pressures of single motherhood. Hell, running her own business....but nah, she's still reduced to baby momma.

Uh huh. Gotcha!

Lemme know how that hateful sh*t works out in your favor when it's your turn. 


You basically playing yourself. This is classic special snowflake syndrome.

*exits thread laughing hysterically* 

Child, if we were to take BHM seriously, we would all be stoning and spitting on each other.




Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 4:37pm
Originally posted by StylingArabella StylingArabella wrote:

That term dehumanizes both parties being talked about IMO. By saying "Baby momma" you are simply stating that the women involved is nothing more than an object that bared YOUR child and that the "baby" is simply a result of sleeping with that objectified women not your daughter, son, or child's name. Trash and deflection if you ask me.

Re wording the pharse is more pleasant such as "That's the mother of my child", "She's my son's mom", or "That's Carol..she's Jane's mother"...hell "that's my Ex" is even bettter.
ClapHeart


Posted By: kfoxx1998
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 4:44pm
Thank you ducky.  Being extremely adamant about the term basically demonstrates the disdain.  That sh*t aint even hard to see or understand.  Duly noted like a muthaphucka in factLOL


Posted By: Princess Grace
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 4:46pm
So circumstances change the meaning, welfare seeking hoodrat is a baby momma but a working uppity woman gets a pass?

Okay

Just for the record I think the word is tacky.



Posted By: kfoxx1998
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 4:54pm
Originally posted by Princess Grace Princess Grace wrote:

So circumstances change the meaning, welfare seeking hoodrat is a baby momma but a working uppity woman gets a pass?

Okay

Just for the record I think the word is tacky.



From what I've seen the only circumstances required to be called baby momma is mothering a child while unmarried and/or being the mother of a child whose father you are no longer married to. 

We have terms for everything in the hood and they get redefined to suit our liking or to communicate the level of self worth and/or value in society we assign to the people we're giving our opinions about.   Apparently they are also meant to communicate our world view on that persons actions and decisions.  Like the words thug, hoochie, jump off, etc.    They are directly tied to that opinion one has of that person.

Unless we're trying to talk about the term baby momma as if we individually coined the term and have exclusive trademark rights to determine how it is used in a sentence.  If not its whatever anyone black (and I guess yt now too) says it is. 


Posted By: Wildfire
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 4:58pm
Thumbs Up^


Posted By: Ming
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 5:02pm
I just asked someone what he would consider me if we had a baby in a year... he asked if we would be married. I said no, he said he refer to me as his baby mama. I smh and he said, were not married right. I asked why not your child's mother/ ex? he said.. were not married.

He was so serious..


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 5:07pm
I guess it takes to long to say my son's mama, or mother if you fancy?


Posted By: OhMyCurlz
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 5:24pm
The only thing worse than hearing a man call a woman a baby momma...is hearing women proudly refer to themselves as that....or aspiring to be that. You can be a proud single mother without identifying yourself as a "baby momma". That's what so many women don't understand. That's why that "Baby Mama" song by Fantasia kinda irked me. EVERYTHING she was talking about was celebrating single mothers.....not a "baby momma".


Posted By: LilMissSunshine
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 5:34pm
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

UOTE=Yardgirl]
Originally posted by Wildfire Wildfire wrote:

Originally posted by bindy bindy wrote:

Avatar


LMFAO.....@ this gifDead


in the J'can context, its babymother, and its not something thats looked down on. <font size="4" color="#0033ff">In fact, the babymother gets plenty of respect, or comes first. (where is Diane? I need one of her eloquent posts on the matterLOL<font size="4" color="#0033ff">babymother is even used to describe upper crust women, who have a child by a man who they are not married to. I cant recall any outrage over the term.

For some reason i feel likein the US context, babymama bares a different connotation, even though its the same thing, just worded differently?


ConfusedConfused 

Are we from the same place?

[/QUOTE]


Posted By: indiecat
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 5:50pm
I prefer mother of my child. I don't take pride in baby momma, it's insulting as if that is all you will ever be.


Posted By: Princess Grace
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 5:52pm
Does anyone find it odd that people seem upset about someone saying baby momma instead of Erica Jacobs mom but did they express this same anger, outrage, oh no you didn't attitude when for whatever circumstances ....

That you didn't see fit to take birth control when its so much out there
That for reasons unknown either you didnt want to get married or werent asked pre baby


Economic situations aside, religious thoughts out the window and even if it is common in this day and age that it should not be the norm?




Posted By: kfoxx1998
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 6:38pm
Originally posted by Princess Grace Princess Grace wrote:

Does anyone find it odd that people seem upset about someone saying baby momma instead of Erica Jacobs mom but did they express this same anger, outrage, oh no you didn't attitude when for whatever circumstances ....

That you didn't see fit to take birth control when its so much out there
That for reasons unknown either you didnt want to get married or werent asked pre baby


Economic situations aside, religious thoughts out the window and even if it is common in this day and age that it should not be the norm?



I find it kind of odd that you're so adamant that having a baby w/o being married requires scorn and outrage.   Can you explain your justification for this thinking?  Who made this rule?  Do you believe that once a rule about the social "norm" is made it must be followed until the end of time?  Regardless of how actual people live their lives?

Because I can think of a whole heap of sh*t that was not a social norm just 25 years ago. 



Posted By: tropical-punch
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 7:21pm
Why would that be bad? Confused
Anyway, do you.


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 7:39pm
It's more respectful to say mother of such and such...but I would use baby momma as a casual term.


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 10:10pm
I mean it takes two to make a baby. [Ideally] it would take two to raise it.


Posted By: Sang Froid
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 10:12pm
I don't want to be referred to as a baby mama.
So guess what?
I'm not going to make myself a baby mama. :-O


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 10:15pm
If ur not wife,ex-wife or a widow you a babymama...it is what it tis.


Posted By: herwoman
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 10:21pm
It's whatever you identify yourself as I would think.

Excuse me Important:

Anywho, I haven't ordered EP hair in two years last time I checked it looked like babydoll hair. Should I order now or what?


Posted By: melikey
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 10:32pm
People will say what they want. Like calling regular sized people fat, calling random women thots, calling women bitches, calling black folks nig.gas. All of them will say "well, that's what the word means".
You really can do so much in terms of demanding respect from those who choose to be disrespectful.


Posted By: NJHairLuv
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 10:34pm
Originally posted by herwoman herwoman wrote:

It's whatever you identify yourself as I would think.

Excuse me Important:

Anywho, I haven't ordered EP hair in two years last time I checked it looked like babydoll hair. Should I order now or what?

last pack i ordered was last fall, EPNB or EPNW and it was dry as hell. I called them for a return authorization, then called back and told them decided to keep it b/c I was ready to use it to complete a closure wig, but I really should have returned it for a healthier batch.


Posted By: Princess Grace
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 10:35pm
Im not mad or outraged, Im just surprised that people act surprised when people say it. I said pages ago I thought it was tacky and for the record I dont say so and so's baby momma or baby daddy. 





Posted By: herwoman
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 10:40pm
Thanks Glam *sigh*


Posted By: Princess Grace
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 10:45pm
why did nature girl have to close?


Posted By: NJHairLuv
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 10:45pm
Originally posted by herwoman herwoman wrote:

Thanks Glam *sigh*

Yeah, I dont know what they have going on nowadaysOuch Maybe their hair quality is back to normal by now.


Posted By: herwoman
Date Posted: Mar 26 2014 at 10:50pm
Its a super sad weave world we got these days. I blame Bush


Posted By: 305bgirl
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 12:13am
I say child's mother/babymama depending on who I am referring to. Babymama does flow beautifully off the tongue and for SOME single/never-married mothers, it is more than appropriate imo. I do refer to a wife with a child/children as a wife and an ex-wife that had kids while previously married, as an ex-wife.


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 1:14am
Originally posted by Meme0887 Meme0887 wrote:

Yes..

I see nothing positive about being one. 


Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:



basically baby momma is for the lower class and/or tacky


I agree with both.

Originally posted by thewonderfulwa thewonderfulwa wrote:

I don't use the term in my life & I find it to be disrespectful as some way to diminish the importance of the mother so yes it is offensive.



I don't use the term either, and I find it ghetto.

Originally posted by kfoxx1998 kfoxx1998 wrote:

Here we go againLOL

This is from niccah's not wanting to acknowledge previous relationships by referring to the child's mother as an ex.  Baby's momma sounds nice and detached but is the farthest from detached you can get.  IDK.  They need to do better. 


By they did you mean the women who accept being called like that?


Posted By: OhMyCurlz
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 2:27am
Originally posted by Princess Grace Princess Grace wrote:

Does anyone find it odd that people seem upset about someone saying baby momma instead of Erica Jacobs mom but did they express this same anger, outrage, oh no you didn't attitude when for whatever circumstances ....

That you didn't see fit to take birth control when its so much out there
That for reasons unknown either you didnt want to get married or werent asked pre baby


Economic situations aside, religious thoughts out the window and even if it is common in this day and age that it should not be the norm?


 Why do you assume that a woman "didn't see fit" to take birth control....just because she got pregnant? There to date is no form of contraception that is 100% effective. Every woman who is (or has) phucked without a ring "put themselves in the position" to be a "baby mama". No one is "safe" unless they are faithfully married or virgins. 

Being a single mother shouldn't be the norm, but for reasons outside of all that you have listed...it happens. Most single mothers didn't intend/want to be single parents. 



Posted By: OhMyCurlz
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 2:39am
Originally posted by kfoxx1998 kfoxx1998 wrote:

Originally posted by Princess Grace Princess Grace wrote:

Does anyone find it odd that people seem upset about someone saying baby momma instead of Erica Jacobs mom but did they express this same anger, outrage, oh no you didn't attitude when for whatever circumstances ....

That you didn't see fit to take birth control when its so much out there
That for reasons unknown either you didnt want to get married or werent asked pre baby


Economic situations aside, religious thoughts out the window and even if it is common in this day and age that it should not be the norm?



I find it kind of odd that you're so adamant that having a baby w/o being married requires scorn and outrage.   Can you explain your justification for this thinking?  Who made this rule?  Do you believe that once a rule about the social "norm" is made it must be followed until the end of time?  Regardless of how actual people live their lives?

Because I can think of a whole heap of sh*t that was not a social norm just 25 years ago. 

Agreed. I think it's kind of weird that people in 2014 actually think they are exempt from being a single mother.....all while having pre-marital sex. 

I think some people sort of look down on single moms (who have never been married). 

If you have sex at any point in time while you are not married than you could have very well become a single mom (baby mama). That's statistically, most women in this country at some point. If you think that that IUD is going to prevent you from getting pregnant and keep you from being a "baby mama" with 100% certainty that's fine...but it's not true. 

Women who give birth within a marriage are not better than women who give birth outside of marriage. They are all mothers deserving of some level of respect if they are raising their children as best they can. 



Posted By: iliveforbhm
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 5:47am
I just say so and so mother or father.


Posted By: Princess Grace
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 6:52am
Originally posted by kfoxx1998 kfoxx1998 wrote:

Originally posted by Princess Grace Princess Grace wrote:

Does anyone find it odd that people seem upset about someone saying baby momma instead of Erica Jacobs mom but did they express this same anger, outrage, oh no you didn't attitude when for whatever circumstances ....

That you didn't see fit to take birth control when its so much out there
That for reasons unknown either you didnt want to get married or werent asked pre baby


Economic situations aside, religious thoughts out the window and even if it is common in this day and age that it should not be the norm?



I find it kind of odd that you're so adamant that having a baby w/o being married requires scorn and outrage.   Can you explain your justification for this thinking?  Who made this rule?  Do you believe that once a rule about the social "norm" is made it must be followed until the end of time?  Regardless of how actual people live their lives?

Because I can think of a whole heap of sh*t that was not a social norm just 25 years ago. 


I am not scorned or outraged about what people choose to do with their lives at all, people get their own self in their own situations.In MY experience when the term baby momma was used it seemed to be meant in a 'shade" type manner.

So go ahead and have all the children you want but I would hope you can afford health insurance, not applying for foodstamps 7 days after ept said your were with child though, If not you  should call yourself  a selfish bird and the term baby momma should be the last thing on your mind cause clearly you have bigger fish to fry.






Posted By: Princess Grace
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 7:04am
Originally posted by OhMyCurlz OhMyCurlz wrote:

[QUOTE=Princess Grace]Does anyone find it odd that people seem upset about someone saying baby momma instead of Erica Jacobs mom but did they express this same anger, outrage, oh no you didn't attitude when for whatever circumstances ....

That you didn't see fit to take birth control when its so much out there
That for reasons unknown either you didnt want to get married or werent asked pre baby


Economic situations aside, religious thoughts out the window and even if it is common in this day and age that it should not be the norm?


 Why do you assume that a woman "didn't see fit" to take birth control....just because she got pregnant? There to date is no form of contraception that is 100% effective. Every woman who is (or has) phucked without a ring "put themselves in the position" to be a "baby mama". No one is "safe" unless they are faithfully married or virgins. 

Being a single mother shouldn't be the norm, but for reasons outside of all that you have listed...it happens. Most single mothers didn't intend/want to be single parents. 

[/QUOTE

So I am the only one who knows some chick who didn't try and take a pill, use a condom, sponge, iud, or anything else on the market with no real life plan who got knocked up? I am going by the situations that I know of first hand. 

I have a cousin who have a closet full of Gucci and stay at the Lv store but is really upset cause her sons father dont wanna pay her car note while she sit at home and post on Instagram cause she had their baby 6 MONTHS ago and doesnt want her baby in daycare. Confused

I guess none of these situations crossed their mind while they was screwing with NO birth control. So yeah if you use nothing you have a 100% chance of getting pregnant every time.


Posted By: slayfresh
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 7:22am
just another way  to other women


Posted By: kfoxx1998
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 7:40am
PG I knew from the first post that your ire was directed at someone you know personally.  But in your sweep you categorized a bunch of women who post on this site daily who are NOT your cousin. 

Just in general on this topic I have told my story many times but I'll say again I was asked twice by son's father to marry him but it was not something I was willing to do.   There are mothers here who were ready to have children and at an age where it was quickly becoming a fading dream.  There are divorced mothers who left abusive relationships for a better for life for themselves and their children.  There are mothers here in committed, loving relationships with their partner but they don't feel that marriage is necessary to validate their family unit. 

My only point in all this typing is everyone responds to this thread topic based solely on their personal experience instead of thinking about the fact that this phrase was likely coined as a way of diminishing the significance of a specific type of unwed BLACK mother.  Then on top of that 50-11 people want to come in and staunchly cling to the idea that the mere act of not being with the man who fathered your child makes you that very disrespectful and derogatory term.  Of course children need both parents in the home but do y'all live on a planet where that is in fact the way the world is.  Is there some magical sh*t that binds a man and woman together regardless of how well they function as a unit?  LMKS so because it always breaks my heart when couples break up.  I would give that sh*t away for free. 

Y'all can't cling to that sh*t and say it is what it is.  Your opinions don't make it a fact.  Your moral center of confucckery doesn't make it a fact.  If the mother of a black child has already said she finds it disrespectful why hold on to that sh*t like it came straight from the great book of "sh*t I know for a fact"? 

Because it conveys your level of respect for that woman.  It is a badge of honor that women carry around.  Good for them.  If it helps quiets the mistakes and poor choices that have been made by those women I am happy to be the poster child for sh*t they didn't do.  I'm here for that but let's just call it what it is and stop trying to act like we're sticking to the Webster's dictionary for the sake of educational purposes.  FOH.  People need to grow up.  Its childish and outdated and ignorant at the same time.  I give zero fcks about what the assessment of me as a person is based on my experiences but its funny that y'all knowingly come in these threads saying outlandish sh*t trying to get a rise out of single mothers who might feel some type of way.  Nobody just started posted here yesterdayLOL

And with that said - oh how the (high and) mighty fall. 


Posted By: kfoxx1998
Date Posted: Mar 27 2014 at 7:52am
Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:


Originally posted by kfoxx1998 kfoxx1998 wrote:

Here we go againLOL

This is from niccah's not wanting to acknowledge previous relationships by referring to the child's mother as an ex.  Baby's momma sounds nice and detached but is the farthest from detached you can get.  IDK.  They need to do better. 


By they did you mean the women who accept being called like that?


I am specifically referring to the fathers of the children in question.  Half the time the child isn't even a "baby" anymore.   He (the original dude who said this) was likely trying to say the woman was JUST his baby's mother and nothing more.  Everyone who ran with the term in infinitude thought it was an excellent way to segregate the mother's of their children into a nice little box.  They needed to and continue to need to do better.  



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