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Friend That NEVER Drives

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URL: http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=369049
Printed Date: Nov 19 2018 at 5:24am


Topic: Friend That NEVER Drives
Posted By: JeriMK55
Subject: Friend That NEVER Drives
Date Posted: Mar 09 2014 at 9:17pm
My friend got her drivers license last year at the age of 22...which in my area is very late since we don't have public transportation. I know back in HS she had a drivers ed instructor who made her cry and took her a very long time to get back into driving after that. Also her mom and sister are very anxious drivers too.

So now it's been a year since shes got her license and still every time we hang out I have to drive, pick her up and/or drop her off. Luckily we live 2mins away for each other so its not that bad, but now that we're older and go places where there is drinking and I can never drink since I'm always the driver. Me and another mutual friend of have offered to drive with her so she can practice, but she has yet to take our offers. I asked my friend one night when were going to a party if she wanted to drive this time but, her mom said no b/c she has never driven at night apparently.

Now the mutual friend and non-driving friend are beefing b/c they went to a kickback and the mutual friend refused to give her a ride back home. I think my friend has gotten to the point where she just expects one of us to drive her home. Me and my mutual friend are stating to wonder if she's just using us for rides and my mutual friend is ready to end the friendship. My friend is a great person and has helped me when i had friendship problems, but I'm tired of enabling her by always driving her around. I'm certain if i stop driving then I probably will never see her.

Have any of y'all had to to deal with a friend that won't drive...did you dropped them?



Replies:
Posted By: melikey
Date Posted: Mar 09 2014 at 9:23pm
Does she have her own car? I don't like driving other people's cars either.  Too much responsibility. 


Posted By: Lady ICE
Date Posted: Mar 09 2014 at 9:23pm
no. im the friend that doesnt drive.
i know how to Cry lol. but ive been in a few car wrecks..driving makes me nervous.


Posted By: herwoman
Date Posted: Mar 09 2014 at 9:27pm
She could be saving your life! I hate stepping on the imaginary brakes when riding with a terrible driver.


Posted By: JeriMK55
Date Posted: Mar 09 2014 at 9:28pm
She doesn't have a car...she lives at home with her mom and sister who have cars that she could use. Me and my other friend don't have cars either, we use our parents cars


Posted By: HeyBeautiful18
Date Posted: Mar 09 2014 at 9:30pm
Is she comfortable driving? She might not have the confidence just yet

Don't take it personal. Have you asked her why? Before i was comfortable driving i didn't want to drove any ones car but my dads. .or with anyone else besides him


Posted By: HeyBeautiful18
Date Posted: Mar 09 2014 at 9:31pm
You should really ask her though. Sometimes people need to be pushed out of their comfort zones


Posted By: JeriMK55
Date Posted: Mar 09 2014 at 9:41pm
From what I know she is not comfortable driving and at least from my perspective, it does not seem like she's trying to become more comfortable. I will often see her mom or her sister driving down our street or around the shopping centers, but never her.


Posted By: Oladunni
Date Posted: Mar 09 2014 at 9:57pm
Originally posted by herwoman herwoman wrote:

She could be saving your life! I hate stepping on the imaginary brakes when riding with a terrible driver.

LOL forreal...


Posted By: marissy
Date Posted: Mar 09 2014 at 10:01pm
Does she have a dad/fatherly figure to take her out (to practice driving)? Or any other relative other than her mom or sister who can help her? Tell her she needs to get a hoopty off of craigslist, and practice driving around the parking lot of a empty shopping center. The only way she will get better is practice. I don't think you should drop her just yet, just forcefully nudge her a bit to see if she gets the message.


Posted By: JeriMK55
Date Posted: Mar 09 2014 at 10:14pm
Unfortunately she doesn't have a father to help her practice driving....I know if it wasn't for my dad teaching me how to drive on the highway I would have never learn b/c my mom won't drive on the highway


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Mar 09 2014 at 11:18pm
I'm still learning how to drive and I'm 24!! LOL She's probably a lazy procrastinator like me.


Posted By: missunfoolish
Date Posted: Mar 09 2014 at 11:23pm
i had my permit for a year and i never drove yet 
dont get mad, maybe she just scared lol but i think you should just push her to be comfortable with it

idk why she doesnt want to practice.. if my friends offered, i would def take it

im kind of nervous, i might have to sign up for driving school Cry


Posted By: femmefatale85
Date Posted: Mar 09 2014 at 11:59pm
my mom taught me how to drive, my dad was always at work

anyway start taking cabs if you want to drink...she can help you pay for a cab

dont hang with her as much




Posted By: Lite Brite
Date Posted: Mar 10 2014 at 12:14am
Originally posted by herwoman herwoman wrote:

She could be saving your life! I hate stepping on the imaginary brakes when riding with a terrible driver.



LOL  you aint lyin!


OP, tell us more about the situation where the mutual friend refused to take her home. Like, did she BRING her there? Was the non-driving friend asking to leave EARLY? I need to know.. because this will determine whether or not the mutual friend is triflin


Posted By: Princess Grace
Date Posted: Mar 10 2014 at 12:27am
You are a good friend, she would have been hitchhiking another ride. It sounds like she let her mother and nem scare her to death of driving, I mean at 22 whos mama is saying she dont drive at night. Confused

I taught myself how to drive, I dont have patience to wait on anyone. 


Posted By: OhMyCurlz
Date Posted: Mar 10 2014 at 12:34am
Okay, I am 21 and am concerned about driving. I will, but I don't like to. 

I have EXTREME anxiety, like I take meds for it...Prozac...Xanax...all that. If your friend is this uncomfortable with driving I guarantee you she has some form of anxiety disorder and it would hurt me if my "friend" dropped me because I couldn't operate a vehicle. This is where the whole "friend" thing kicks in. Take her on a back road and say "we aren't leaving till you drive this mf". She will protest but in the inside be so thankful that you all cared about her enough to help her jump this hurdle. 

It's very debilitating and I cry about it a lot. It doesn't feel good to have to ask people to take you places and regardless to whether you give them gas money or not they have an "attitude" about it. 

The interesting thing is that I have more money than those who I ask to drive me places AND I HAVE MY OWN CAR and I am very generous. I just resolved to never do anything for these people again. I've given thousands of dollars to the people that I ask to take me somewhere within 5-10 minutes of my house and they still have an attitude. 

Everybody needs somebody at some point. 


Posted By: missunfoolish
Date Posted: Mar 10 2014 at 12:38am
Originally posted by Princess Grace Princess Grace wrote:

You are a good friend, she would have been hitchhiking another ride. It sounds like she let her mother and nem scare her to death of driving, I mean at 22 whos mama is saying she dont drive at night. Confused

I taught myself how to drive, I dont have patience to wait on anyone. 

how you do that? might need to take that approach




Posted By: JeriMK55
Date Posted: Mar 10 2014 at 1:55am
Originally posted by Lite Brite Lite Brite wrote:

Originally posted by herwoman herwoman wrote:

She could be saving your life! I hate stepping on the imaginary brakes when riding with a terrible driver.



LOL  you aint lyin!


OP, tell us more about the situation where the mutual friend refused to take her home. Like, did she BRING her there? Was the non-driving friend asking to leave EARLY? I need to know.. because this will determine whether or not the mutual friend is triflin


My friend had the boy who was having the house party take her to the party and she texted my mutual friend saying they should leave together....technically she didn't actually ask for a ride back home...so my mutual friend ignored it.  At the party when my friend asked what time they were gonna leave that's when my mutual friend said she was going to her cousins house afterwards and not going to drop her off (which was a lie lol).  Mutual friend said she would stay until my friend's sister came to get her. While both of them were outside waiting for the sister, my friend when back to the house to get her jacket, but never came back and 10mins later sent a text to mutual friend saying she could leave now.




Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Mar 10 2014 at 1:58am
Confused your friend aint sh*t. Why bring her to the party at all then ? she knew she doesn't drive !


Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: Mar 10 2014 at 6:10am
Hell yeah I dropped him!

Older than me, licensed, had a car, but kept blowing up my phone to be picking him up and driving him around because whatever pocket change he scrounged up as money was immediately spent on stinking ass weed.

Boy, BYE!


Posted By: tatee
Date Posted: Mar 10 2014 at 6:39am
op, you should just be honest and tell your friend everything you wrote here just to put the ball back in her court.  its her responsibility to find a solution not yours.


Posted By: OhMyCurlz
Date Posted: Mar 10 2014 at 7:06am
Whooooooowhee! I'll tell you this. Let your friend read this thread; her ass will be driving soon after this one. 

This whole thread has inspired me to get my ass in the car and drive myself. Anxiety disorder be damned. Cry This will be the FINAL step in me having to have my mom and bf in my life, and just by driving I will be free. Glad I read this. :)


Posted By: newdiva1
Date Posted: Mar 10 2014 at 11:48am
Originally posted by JeriMK55 JeriMK55 wrote:

Originally posted by Lite Brite Lite Brite wrote:

Originally posted by herwoman herwoman wrote:

She could be saving your life! I hate stepping on the imaginary brakes when riding with a terrible driver.



LOL  you aint lyin!


OP, tell us more about the situation where the mutual friend refused to take her home. Like, did she BRING her there? Was the non-driving friend asking to leave EARLY? I need to know.. because this will determine whether or not the mutual friend is triflin


My friend had the boy who was having the house party take her to the party and she texted my mutual friend saying they should leave together....technically she didn't actually ask for a ride back home...so my mutual friend ignored it.  At the party when my friend asked what time they were gonna leave that's when my mutual friend said she was going to her cousins house afterwards and not going to drop her off (which was a lie lol).  Mutual friend said she would stay until my friend's sister came to get her. While both of them were outside waiting for the sister, my friend when back to the house to get her jacket, but never came back and 10mins later sent a text to mutual friend saying she could leave now.


 
 
 
 
that's fucced up.


Posted By: Princess Grace
Date Posted: Mar 10 2014 at 11:49am
Originally posted by missunfoolish missunfoolish wrote:

Originally posted by Princess Grace Princess Grace wrote:

You are a good friend, she would have been hitchhiking another ride. It sounds like she let her mother and nem scare her to death of driving, I mean at 22 whos mama is saying she dont drive at night. Confused

I taught myself how to drive, I dont have patience to wait on anyone. 

how you do that? might need to take that approach



I did the driving in the parking lot thingy with people but after awhile you either gone have to just do it or your driving will never get better. At first I took the street everywhere but I got tired of taking a hour to get everywhere and started driving on the freeways.

Yeah I side swiped a few cars when I first started but I got better Cry


Posted By: JeriMK55
Date Posted: Mar 10 2014 at 2:08pm
Originally posted by OhMyCurlz OhMyCurlz wrote:

Whooooooowhee! I'll tell you this. Let your friend read this thread; her ass will be driving soon after this one. 

This whole thread has inspired me to get my ass in the car and drive myself. Anxiety disorder be damned. Cry This will be the FINAL step in me having to have my mom and bf in my life, and just by driving I will be free. Glad I read this. :)


YAY! You can dooo it!


Posted By: femmemichelle
Date Posted: Mar 10 2014 at 2:43pm
Originally posted by Princess Grace Princess Grace wrote:

Originally posted by missunfoolish missunfoolish wrote:

Originally posted by Princess Grace Princess Grace wrote:

You are a good friend, she would have been hitchhiking another ride. It sounds like she let her mother and nem scare her to death of driving, I mean at 22 whos mama is saying she dont drive at night. Confused

I taught myself how to drive, I dont have patience to wait on anyone. 

how you do that? might need to take that approach



I did the driving in the parking lot thingy with people but after awhile you either gone have to just do it or your driving will never get better. At first I took the street everywhere but I got tired of taking a hour to get everywhere and started driving on the freeways.

Yeah I side swiped a few cars when I first started but I got better Cry

Wait what!? I mean I felt/feel the same way when I initially started driving, especially around 18 wheelers. But, if yall's anxiety makes you think you might lose control you need to just not drive. 


Posted By: Wildfire
Date Posted: Mar 10 2014 at 3:01pm
sounds like she may be the type of driver you wouldnt want to chance with your life anyway ---unsure, indecisive, not confident....recipe for disaster. keep driving and count your lucky starsLOL


Posted By: AmiliaCabral
Date Posted: Mar 10 2014 at 3:03pm
Either let her know she has to drive sometimes or she ain't getting no rides. Then offer to teach her again or give her the number to a driving school.


Posted By: Lilaca
Date Posted: Mar 10 2014 at 3:23pm
Originally posted by BBpants BBpants wrote:

I'm still learning how to drive and I'm 24!! LOL She's probably a lazy procrastinator like me.
Never stop learning. Good luckBig smile


Posted By: tropical-punch
Date Posted: Mar 10 2014 at 5:30pm
annoying. needy people bug me


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Mar 10 2014 at 5:36pm
With one friend I'm the friend who always drives.
With another friend I'm the friend who never drives.

It depends on the dynamics of everything.
We don't give each other gas money
It all evens out in the end


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Mar 10 2014 at 5:37pm
to all of you who are having anxiety about driving or for whatever other reason haven't gotten there yet...licensed DMV instructors give driving lessons.  you can find them on craigslist for sure and probably other similar sites.  they use their own vehicle and they charge something like $25 an hour.  please do that instead of driving around aimlessly hitting people's sh*t.  

this lady hit and ran me last week.  considering we were completely stopped at a red light for close to a minute yet she figured out a way to rear end me even though we weren't nudging forward or ANYTHING, she probably didn't know what she was doing behind the wheel.  she was ethnic looking, but i won't assume she's new to the country.  the way i had to literally chase her for a mile leads me to believe she didn't have license OR insurance.  


Posted By: missunfoolish
Date Posted: Mar 10 2014 at 8:01pm
Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

Originally posted by Princess Grace Princess Grace wrote:

Originally posted by missunfoolish missunfoolish wrote:

Originally posted by Princess Grace Princess Grace wrote:

You are a good friend, she would have been hitchhiking another ride. It sounds like she let her mother and nem scare her to death of driving, I mean at 22 whos mama is saying she dont drive at night. Confused

I taught myself how to drive, I dont have patience to wait on anyone. 

how you do that? might need to take that approach



I did the driving in the parking lot thingy with people but after awhile you either gone have to just do it or your driving will never get better. At first I took the street everywhere but I got tired of taking a hour to get everywhere and started driving on the freeways.

Yeah I side swiped a few cars when I first started but I got better Cry

Wait what!? I mean I felt/feel the same way when I initially started driving, especially around 18 wheelers. But, if yall's anxiety makes you think you might lose control you need to just not drive. 

LOL princess. 
and just because i have anxiety about it now.. i hope it goes away cause im tired of waiting around for people to drive me to little places 10 mins away like the library.
you know how annoying that is? i dont want to be on their time. but thats the reason i cant drive..
IM ON THEIR TIME

if i hit a few people, i get extra points Tongue
just playin. i know ill be a careful ass driver, hopefully.. lol



Posted By: HowardAlumAKA
Date Posted: Mar 10 2014 at 8:48pm
She just expects it, I don't think she's using y'all. I was the friend who would get my friends to drive out of town because I was too afraid to. I didn't know how to drive in the freeway since my parents NEVER took it


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Mar 10 2014 at 9:46pm
Originally posted by Lilaca Lilaca wrote:

Originally posted by BBpants BBpants wrote:

I'm still learning how to drive and I'm 24!! LOL She's probably a lazy procrastinator like me.
Never stop learning. Good luckBig smile


Thank you!! I actually like driving...I'm just scared to drive with other cars LOL


Posted By: JeriMK55
Date Posted: Mar 11 2014 at 12:50am
I guess I'm having more of an issue with the fact that she turn on my mutual friend the one time she doesn't get a ride back home...The day before the house party incident mutual friend and non-driver went downtown to the club and of course mutual friend picked her up and dropped her back at home. I don't agree with mutual friend lying about going to her cousin house afterwards, but I can understand how annoying/frustrating it is to have to go out of her way to always drop this girl off. Now my friend is being shady and doesn't want to meet up to resolve the issue...guess she knows she's in the wrong.

So if my friend invites me to go somewhere with her and I don't drive her back home is she gonna flip on me? No buddy!


Posted By: rell85
Date Posted: Mar 11 2014 at 3:34am
Y'all should just be real with her tell her no more playing taxi it's going to ruin the friendship cause it was wrong to leave her if she didn't know beforehand.



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