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Feeling like you dont fit in

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Printed Date: Nov 20 2018 at 11:46pm


Topic: Feeling like you dont fit in
Posted By: Bribby
Subject: Feeling like you dont fit in
Date Posted: Mar 04 2014 at 4:35pm
Have you ever felt like you just don't "Fit in" with your generation or the people around you the same age as you in the same city you're in? Even though you've known many people since grade school you're just not friends, more like acquaintances?




Replies:
Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Mar 04 2014 at 4:41pm

 
checking in


Posted By: goodm3
Date Posted: Mar 04 2014 at 4:48pm
i have felt like at time...however I don't see that as a bad thing. i've always accepted/embraced it.

and speaking of friends from HS...i never intended on being life long friends with them. I always knew my life long friends would come from college and my early career. And so far...that has held true.


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Mar 04 2014 at 4:50pm

It's not something i'm sad or unhappy about though... I like being different.
I don't wish to fit in.
I look at the people I grew up with..and they are going down a totally different path than I am.
Some are having babies, getting married lol, and all that other premature stuff.

I'm not about that life. 


Posted By: Lady ICE
Date Posted: Mar 04 2014 at 4:56pm
all my life.
but i dont want to fit in now.
i cant anyways.


Posted By: Josephuss
Date Posted: Mar 04 2014 at 4:59pm
I always felt  out  of place. for obvious and not so obvious reasons.


Posted By: eanaj5
Date Posted: Mar 04 2014 at 5:04pm
yup. never have and probably never will.
i stopped worrying about it after high school though.


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Mar 04 2014 at 5:07pm
And I def dont fit in with most of my generation.

For one my generation as a whole has a strange fascination with drugs. People these days will pop/smoke/sniff anything to get high...

I dont understand it. 

and before anybody gets offended, I'm not knocking or looking down on anybody, im just answering the OP....Beer



Posted By: creole booty
Date Posted: Mar 04 2014 at 5:11pm
Why do u think I'm on bhm so much? At least when I'm not fitting in here, I can just log out lol.

It's ok not to fit. Accept that u r unique and enjoy the awkwardness.


Posted By: mangachan
Date Posted: Mar 04 2014 at 5:11pm
I have always been there with the exception of a few friends and my immediate family.  As far as people my own age I don't relate well to peers for the most part because I don't really engage in pop culture.  Even my bf is older than me by almost 10 years.


Posted By: Josephuss
Date Posted: Mar 04 2014 at 5:33pm
my physical dilemma is one of the main reasons for people seeing me and me seeing myself of being unworthy to exist among people in social manner. now at this point I just sit there like a statue, making the feeling of not belonging worse..  its a feeling that lingers and hurts


Posted By: Mixer
Date Posted: Mar 04 2014 at 5:36pm
Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:

And I def dont fit in with most of my generation.

For one my generation as a whole has a strange fascination with drugs. People these days will pop/smoke/sniff anything to get high...

I dont understand it. 

and before anybody gets offended, I'm not knocking or looking down on anybody, im just answering the OP....Beer

This.


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Mar 04 2014 at 5:43pm
Originally posted by Josephuss Josephuss wrote:

my physical dilemma is one of the main reasons for people seeing me and me seeing myself of being unworthy to exist among people in social manner. now at this point I just sit there like a statue, making the feeling of not belonging worse..  its a feeling that lingers and hurts

HugHug


Posted By: Derri
Date Posted: Mar 04 2014 at 5:47pm
I've never felt like I fit all the way "in" because I always end up thinking a bit differently from the crowd somewhere along the way.

It don't make me no nevermind




Posted By: Bonjour baby ooowee
Date Posted: Mar 04 2014 at 5:48pm
Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:

Originally posted by Josephuss Josephuss wrote:

my physical dilemma is one of the main reasons for people seeing me and me seeing myself of being unworthy to exist among people in social manner. now at this point I just sit there like a statue, making the feeling of not belonging worse..  its a feeling that lingers and hurts

HugHug





HeartHuga million hugs from me too / keep your head up baby / start figuring out ways to make your uniqueness work for you on some significant levels ... you can do itHeartHug


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Mar 04 2014 at 5:51pm
yes, and i legit blame/credit my upbringing.

as an only child to a single mother, my grandmother did her fair share of raising me. i was with her and her friends all the time or with my great grandmother. i'm all of 6 years younger than my mom's youngest sibling, so i felt like my uncles and aunts were like brothers and sisters to a degree. lastly, my family never "talked" to me like a child.

the end result? i get on well with people older than me and i look more than slightly antiquated at times to many of my friends. they put up with me anyway. oh... and i love hearing "when i was growing up" stories.


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Mar 04 2014 at 5:51pm
Originally posted by Bonjour baby ooowee Bonjour baby ooowee wrote:

Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:

Originally posted by Josephuss Josephuss wrote:

my physical dilemma is one of the main reasons for people seeing me and me seeing myself of being unworthy to exist among people in social manner. now at this point I just sit there like a statue, making the feeling of not belonging worse..  its a feeling that lingers and hurts

HugHug





HeartHuga million hugs from me too / keep your head up baby / start figuring out ways to make your uniqueness work for you on some significant levels ... you can do itHeartHug

Heart




Posted By: Bonjour baby ooowee
Date Posted: Mar 04 2014 at 5:55pm
i go through that from time to time & learn to bust through it in positive ways, i call it my positive breakthroughsWink we're all unique however some more than others, ive really learned to embrace my gorgeous uniqueness LOL (thats what i call em uplifts me & makes me shine more)Smile


Posted By: reesegurl11
Date Posted: Mar 04 2014 at 5:56pm
I stick to myself and never really fit in with others my age, I like to have fun with my kids we play tag, hide and seek and video games. My kids friends parents are around my age but aren't about that life they just seem stuck up to me so I don't even try to talk with them or anything lol.

When I was growing up the kids I hung out with were into drinking and drugs and I just never was interested in that, I still hung out with them and even got into trouble because of them. As I got older I moved away from them and just basically stuck to myself and then started having my kids and I had a baby every other year for 10yrs so that's been my life lol.


Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Mar 04 2014 at 5:58pm
i felt like that.. but for one reason or another (clothing, my friends, something..) people typically gravitated towards be or began talking to me regularly.. even though i can be standoffish.. 
i think my quirky/weirdness works well for me. 





Posted By: mangachan
Date Posted: Mar 04 2014 at 7:56pm
Originally posted by nekamarie83 nekamarie83 wrote:

yes, and i legit blame/credit my upbringing.

as an only child to a single mother, my grandmother did her fair share of raising me. i was with her and her friends all the time or with my great grandmother. i'm all of 6 years younger than my mom's youngest sibling, so i felt like my uncles and aunts were like brothers and sisters to a degree. lastly, my family never "talked" to me like a child.

the end result? i get on well with people older than me and i look more than slightly antiquated at times to many of my friends. they put up with me anyway. oh... and i love hearing "when i was growing up" stories.


We must have the same family. You should probably not be using 7 year olds as a sounding board for marital issues or as a vehicle to help you pick retirement plans.Ermm


Posted By: bg
Date Posted: Mar 04 2014 at 8:01pm
Yes...i'm kind of a loner...i dont really 'like' people...i tolerate them


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Mar 04 2014 at 8:17pm
Originally posted by mangachan mangachan wrote:

We must have the same family. You should probably not be using 7 year olds as a sounding board for marital issues or as a vehicle to help you pick retirement plans.Ermm
[ak]guurrrl[/ak] Like, uuuuuum, I'm a kid…why are you asking me?

Then people outside your fam like "she's so mature and well-behaved" or "why would you know about _____?"


Posted By: Sang Froid
Date Posted: Mar 04 2014 at 8:22pm
Uh....I don't feel like I don't fit in.
I don't ponder about how different I am than everyone else. 
I just be livin'.


Posted By: HeyBeautiful18
Date Posted: Mar 04 2014 at 8:58pm
All of this!

Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:


It's not something i'm sad or unhappy about though... I like being different.
I don't wish to fit in.
I look at the people I grew up with..and they are going down a totally different path than I am.
Some are having babies, getting married lol, and all that other premature stuff.

I'm not about that life. 


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Mar 04 2014 at 9:02pm
I know I'm a weirdo and I don't mind!


Posted By: rell85
Date Posted: Mar 04 2014 at 9:13pm
Yep with age i care less about it.


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Mar 04 2014 at 9:13pm
I feel like I 'fit in'.

I feel unique (isn't everyone?) but I know I fit in with my peers. After talking & listening to people I meet the more I realize that we all share some similar beliefs, wants and needs.Heart


Posted By: liesnalibis
Date Posted: Mar 05 2014 at 4:30am
I don't fit in anywhere but I'm used to it. It doesn't bother me at this point in my life.


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Mar 05 2014 at 7:02am
I don't at work .
I don't even try to do anything out of the ordinary but I'm known as the oddball.

I'm not a tap dancer and I don't feel the need to giggle at everything yt folk say.
I speak my mind often too not even in a confrontational way .
I just don't nod and agree.

I'm still not myself at work though.
Not trying to be po' forever though so I'll take it


Posted By: NARSAddict
Date Posted: Mar 05 2014 at 9:38am
Originally posted by Lady ICE Lady ICE wrote:

all my life.
but i dont want to fit in now.
i cant anyways.


Posted By: missunfoolish
Date Posted: Mar 05 2014 at 9:56am
yeah

i find it so hard to connect with people at all
i dont seem interested in anything 
and when i try, it just dont feel right. 

even people i have common interests with, i dont feel like i fit in to anything at all. 





Posted By: Princess Grace
Date Posted: Mar 05 2014 at 10:15am
I have always done my own thing, I'm very self involved so half the time I don't know what anyone is doing.


Posted By: HaitianDiva64
Date Posted: Mar 05 2014 at 10:54am
Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:

And I def dont fit in with most of my generation.

For one my generation as a whole has a strange fascination with drugs. People these days will pop/smoke/sniff anything to get high...

I dont understand it. 

and before anybody gets offended, I'm not knocking or looking down on anybody, im just answering the OP....Beer



This is not only this generation...every generation had its thing with drugs


Posted By: Katrenia
Date Posted: Mar 05 2014 at 11:54am
I'm a social butterfly with my own group of friends who are my age however my husband is older and the wives/ladyfriends of his friends often try to make me feel like an outsider. . .I said they try. Stern Smile




Posted By: BeatriceBean
Date Posted: Mar 05 2014 at 2:23pm

If you don't fit in, then own standing out and work it! Use it for your advantage.

 
Make sure that you're excellent. If you must, then let it be for the right reasons.


Posted By: honeyb87
Date Posted: Mar 06 2014 at 9:05am
Originally posted by CherryBlossom CherryBlossom wrote:

Originally posted by bg bg wrote:

Yes...i'm kind of a loner...i dont really 'like' people...i tolerate them

sounds like me! probably also explains why I have a small, close group of friends..quality not quantity

This was always my motto when picking friends. I don't tolerate the fair weather/wishy washy/frenemy type of "friendship."


Posted By: SunshineDiva
Date Posted: Sep 24 2014 at 8:02pm
Originally posted by BeatriceBean BeatriceBean wrote:

If you don't fit in, then own standing out and work it! Use it for your advantage.

 
Make sure that you're excellent. If you must, then let it be for the right reasons.


How do you use it to your advantage? I myself feel like an outsider with everything I do and everyone who is in my age groups even my family....it sucks. I have felt like I have been on my own for a while especially since I decided to go away for school and its been a struggle.


Posted By: noneyons
Date Posted: Sep 24 2014 at 8:05pm
aww Hug 

if you're in school you must be in your late teens, early twenties so you're still young. i've been there. in time you'll grow to stay true to yourself all while not giving a damn about what people think about you. 




Posted By: nemesis1
Date Posted: Sep 24 2014 at 8:05pm
I have always felt like this. This is like the story of my life, seriously. Cry


Posted By: sbrownie84
Date Posted: Sep 24 2014 at 8:16pm
Sometimes I felt like that but would later realize that is all in my head. The truth is that I never had a desire to fit in. I don't know if it comes from being an only child. I also realized that my lack of desire to fit in is a plus in my life Bc it cancels out all the phony, shallow, immature disingenuous people that I would never like anyway.

I have maintained most of my friendships since grade school / high school. The beauty of a genuine friendship or connection is that 'fitting in' never matters. Once a person gets to truly know you and genuinely like you, they will accept you as a friend no matter what.

I always laugh and say that it takes a person at least 5 months to get to know me and there is a great chance you will like me. I am a true enigma and no one can ever successfully out me into a category. That turns a lot of ppl off
when they can not figure you out.

Moral of the story: real recognize real. Anything else. I could care less.


Posted By: Nisha
Date Posted: Sep 24 2014 at 8:34pm
yes
 
i have a poster on my wall that says: The Misfit.
 
I recently joined a web site that consists of thousands of like minded people so this week I'm feeling a little bit better about it.
 
 


Posted By: exoticmami06
Date Posted: Sep 24 2014 at 9:45pm
I never fit in. I'm on my own plane.


Posted By: naturesgift
Date Posted: Sep 24 2014 at 11:58pm
I think everyone at times feels this way- even people who seem like they do- Didn't you ever watch Mean Girls? LOL


Posted By: SunshineDiva
Date Posted: Sep 25 2014 at 12:25am
Originally posted by sbrownie84 sbrownie84 wrote:

Sometimes I felt like that but would later realize that is all in my head. The truth is that I never had a desire to fit in. I don't know if it comes from being an only child. I also realized that my lack of desire to fit in is a plus in my life Bc it cancels out all the phony, shallow, immature disingenuous people that I would never like anyway.

I have maintained most of my friendships since grade school / high school. The beauty of a genuine friendship or connection is that 'fitting in' never matters. Once a person gets to truly know you and genuinely like you, they will accept you as a friend no matter what.

I always laugh and say that it takes a person at least 5 months to get to know me and there is a great chance you will like me. I am a true enigma and no one can ever successfully out me into a category. That turns a lot of ppl off
when they can not figure you out.

Moral of the story: real recognize real. Anything else. I could care less.



I am an only child too (well I have a half sister but we have never been close.....long storyCry) but I have always wanted to "fit in"but just felt awkward during the process. When I first stared school my roommate at the time had a friend who was a COMPLETE jerk to me because she liked this guy that i was an acquaintance with...she was literally throwing jabs at me EVERY SECOND that she could to the point where i just didnt feel comfortable in the setting i was in and decided that I needed to separate myself from there so I got a single room so the negativity is gone. I just pray that is gets better


Posted By: SunshineDiva
Date Posted: Sep 25 2014 at 12:26am
Originally posted by noneyons noneyons wrote:

aww Hug 

if you're in school you must be in your late teens, early twenties so you're still young. i've been there. in time you'll grow to stay true to yourself all while not giving a damn about what people think about you. 





Embarrassed early twenties yea im 23 which is why i guess i feel out of place too because everyone here is 18 or 19 and very immature at times.

Thank you for the advice.....its hard though I have experienced so much hatred here and I haven't spoken to anyone for them to have any dislike towards me in anyway.


Posted By: SunshineDiva
Date Posted: Sep 25 2014 at 12:33am
I have a question for all of you ladies do you ever feel lonely? or do you at least have someone in your corner who you can talk to?


Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Sep 25 2014 at 12:38am
It's cool to not fit in.


Posted By: noneyons
Date Posted: Sep 25 2014 at 12:48am
what kind of hatred are you experiencing sunshine? tell me and maybe i can help you through it. like i said, i've been there.


Posted By: naturesgift
Date Posted: Sep 25 2014 at 12:56am
Originally posted by SunshineDiva SunshineDiva wrote:

I have a question for all of you ladies do you ever feel lonely? or do you at least have someone in your corner who you can talk to?
yes I sometimes feel lonely... even when I have plenty of friends, If I feel too bad I reach out to them... but I have had the feeling of being the only friend I have and then I try and discover something new about myself...


Posted By: SunshineDiva
Date Posted: Sep 25 2014 at 3:01pm
Originally posted by noneyons noneyons wrote:

what kind of hatred are you experiencing sunshine? tell me and maybe i can help you through it. like i said, i've been there.


The hatred is mainly from females I feel like its jealousy but I can not say for sure but dirty looks talking about me when I leave the room or it happen one time while I was in the room. The situation I mentioned before when I was in the double room where the girl didn't like me because I was "friends" with the guy she liked. This other chick is cool in my face but the minute I leave the room or she thinks Im out of hearing distance she starts talking about me.

I know I should have tough skin but I just feel like I am battling every time I leave the room


Posted By: SunshineDiva
Date Posted: Sep 25 2014 at 3:09pm
Originally posted by naturesgift naturesgift wrote:

Originally posted by SunshineDiva SunshineDiva wrote:

I have a question for all of you ladies do you ever feel lonely? or do you at least have someone in your corner who you can talk to?
yes I sometimes feel lonely... even when I have plenty of friends, If I feel too bad I reach out to them... but I have had the feeling of being the only friend I have and then I try and discover something new about myself...


When I feel lonely i sink into that sad depressing place Ouch b/c of a past relationship I don't have ANY friends so I'm used to being alone but I thought in college it would have been different but I am seriously struggling at home I had my mom and the rest of my family that I speak to


Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Sep 25 2014 at 3:44pm
no.



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