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BHM Testimonies

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URL: http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=368186
Printed Date: Jul 18 2018 at 10:08am


Topic: BHM Testimonies
Posted By: AmiliaCabral
Subject: BHM Testimonies
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 8:38am
Sometimes knowing that others are making it through really helps to keep pressing on. Despite all the phuckshyt BHM can be a great source of inspiration, so I think it would be cool if people wanna share their stories. It can be spiritual or not, vague or specific, short or long, about whatever. If you're surviving, you're thriving, you're making it through or just want to claim that you will make it let us know. Anything from passing a test to...whatever lol



Replies:
Posted By: Butta Cookie
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 8:41am
*takes a seat to hear some stories*


Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 8:41am
Ermm

bhm'ers can't really share their experiences cus it will be brought up and exaggerated next argument…. 


Posted By: Brjasuga51
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 8:46am
Originally posted by Butta Cookie Butta Cookie wrote:

*takes a seat to hear some stories*
takes a seat beside ButtaSmile


Posted By: AmiliaCabral
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 8:48am
Originally posted by coconess coconess wrote:

Ermm

bhm'ers can't really share their experiences cus it will be brought up and exaggerated next argument…. 

If you scared call that reverend






Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 8:56am
^^^ Thanked.

And Amilia, depending on your pov, you may wanna skim http://f2.blackhairmedia.com/count-your-blessings-thread_topic366595.html" rel="nofollow - http://f2.blackhairmedia.com/count-your-blessings-thread_topic366595.html . It's the count your blessings thread.

But lemme get to a desk top and I'll eta on this. 

eta: imma keep this as short as i can. as the lovely people of random thoughts know, i was looking for a job. however, i can only recently say it's because i didn't have one. i was laid off from my job in october 2012. i kept that all my friends and family in my life with the exception of about 5. however, the hardest part was not being able to do what i loved so much, the sense of anger/betrayal/shame/whatevs that came from this and trying to stay positive/optimistic as well. i was fortunate to have people that were supportive of me, that listened when i needed it, that prayed for me, that let me stay with them when i needed an escape, that gave me drag shows every thursday so that i could still hope and dream-- in short, that loved me. and, for their actions large and small, i am forever grateful to them. in the end, well currently, i had my interview for the job i have now exactly one year to the day that i was laid off and i work with my friendtor again. 

call it fate, call it luck, call it random, call it blessed, whatever. i can only speak for myself in saying that i am fortunate. i am thankful. and to those that are looking, have been looking, will be looking, hang in there. it's hard, it's infuriating and depressing af, but stay positive. have hope. while it may take longer than you expected, your dream and better place are coming to you. 

claim it and do what you can to work toward it every day. Heart

as far as people using this against me in an argument, try. *shrug*  not only did i make it, but i kept up with all my bills, had recreational time and managed to travel about 4-5 times during that year. i learned that i was stronger than i ever believed myself to be. for that, i'm better than i was. 


Posted By: IslandSuga
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 9:02am
It's been a rough past 5 years and I can finally say I made it through all the b.s. I'm finally a licensed healthcare professional and it feels good to put those letters after my name. There were times when I felt like giving up, times when I cried myself to sleep, times when I was functioning but I was depressed and times when I felt happy. Looking back I think damn, those were some crazy times. I recently looked at my old journal entries from 2008-2013 and baby...let's just say some of those entries brought me to tears. I'm not 100% on track but I know that God will continue to bless me on HIS time and not mine lol. The best is yet to come!!!!! All I can say is no matter how hard it is, don't give up. The season you're going through is temporary and you too will reflect just like I did and say "Damn, He did that!" Give all your troubles to God, he will see you through! Take care ya'll Hug


Posted By: AmiliaCabral
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 9:18am
All I know is can't nobody throw my testimony in my face bc it made me who I am.

I dropped out of high school at 15 to start working and got into a bunch of trouble between 15 to 20. I was hustling, stealing, dealing, in and out of jail all the time. At 20 my little brother was dying from cancer and he told me that I needed to get my act together. He said I was killing our mom and he hated me for it, but he loved me more and made me promise that I would do better. It was a process but I decided to go and get my GED a few months after he passed away.

Then I realized after I got it that I can't do nothing with a GED, so I went back to hustling. My older sister and I got into it because I promised everyone that I would do better. She said if I stop she would help me, but if I kept on they were all done with me, real talk. She said she would go to CUNY enrollment with me and pay for my first year but I had to promise that I would stop dealing forever. At 22, I started college and struggled through every single day. Going the straight path was not easy at all, because I still had friends in the game and I felt so lonely for 4 years. But the good thing about CUNY instead of traditional college was that all types of people went there and I didn't feel like I was the only one who was trying to get away from something.

But anyway, last year I graduated cum laude with a B.S. in computer science, and I started my first real job in September. I can declare with victory that life is so much better...I have a different group of friends, I'm close to my family again, and I finally have something that no one can take from me. God is good!



Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 9:24am
Clap

i didnt graduate either…. highs cool of middle school… 

i know it will come back to me on here but whatevs… 
i hope to be like you Hug


Posted By: iliveforbhm
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 9:30am
Not really a testimony battling with unemployment after the military (before I signed up for BHM) trying to find a good job, but praying and nothing came about, but when I started digging in myself and realizing my own potential that's when I was able to find employment and realized a creative consciouness is knowing not hoping and wishing.


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 10:05am
Amillia that was an awesome testimony. Have you ever thought about helping young people who are going through some of the same things?


Posted By: danieb23
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 10:18am
Originally posted by AmiliaCabral AmiliaCabral wrote:

All I know is can't nobody throw my testimony in my face bc it made me who I am.

I dropped out of high school at 15 to start working and got into a bunch of trouble between 15 to 20. I was hustling, stealing, dealing, in and out of jail all the time. At 20 my little brother was dying from cancer and he told me that I needed to get my act together. He said I was killing our mom and he hated me for it, but he loved me more and made me promise that I would do better. It was a process but I decided to go and get my GED a few months after he passed away.

Then I realized after I got it that I can't do nothing with a GED, so I went back to hustling. My older sister and I got into it because I promised everyone that I would do better. She said if I stop she would help me, but if I kept on they were all done with me, real talk. She said she would go to CUNY enrollment with me and pay for my first year but I had to promise that I would stop dealing forever. At 22, I started college and struggled through every single day. Going the straight path was not easy at all, because I still had friends in the game and I felt so lonely for 4 years. But the good thing about CUNY instead of traditional college was that all types of people went there and I didn't feel like I was the only one who was trying to get away from something.

But anyway, last year I graduated cum laude with a B.S. in computer science, and I started my first real job in September. I can declare with victory that life is so much better...I have a different group of friends, I'm close to my family again, and I finally have something that no one can take from me. God is good!



Yyaaassss girl yaaassss!!

I LOVED to read that!!!


Posted By: Jewelsnyc
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 10:33am
Very nice...I'd put my testimony in here, but I'm not done yet...Haven't gotten to the top of the mountain...LOL


Posted By: AmiliaCabral
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 10:52am
Poofity poof


Posted By: AmiliaCabral
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 10:55am
Originally posted by petiteone29 petiteone29 wrote:

Amillia that was an awesome testimony. Have you ever thought about helping young people who are going through some of the same things?

I do! My mom twisted my arm into mentoring for a Brooklyn youth organization. Its so rewarding. I would urge anyone who can to do the same. 


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 11:00am
Originally posted by AmiliaCabral AmiliaCabral wrote:

Originally posted by petiteone29 petiteone29 wrote:

Amillia that was an awesome testimony. Have you ever thought about helping young people who are going through some of the same things?

I do! My mom twisted my arm into mentoring for a Brooklyn youth organization. Its so rewarding. I would urge anyone who can to do the same. 



HeartThumbs Up


Posted By: AmiliaCabral
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 11:01am
Originally posted by Jewelsnyc Jewelsnyc wrote:

Very nice...I'd put my testimony in here, but I'm not done yet...Haven't gotten to the top of the mountain...LOL

If thats how you feel do you. I know im just getting started and that I'm nowhere near the mountaintop. I give mine bc even though I'm not where I want to be, i have to remind myself that i've come a long way and not to beat myself up for not being there yet


Posted By: kkscottdale
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 11:03am
thanks for sharing! I always enjoy reading your testimony amila.


Posted By: chinadoll77
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 11:13am
At 16 I got raped by a neighbor,had my oldest afew weeks before my 17th birthday.I went through hell with family & professionals who didn't think that I could handle raising him mentally.At 19 I decided to have my 2nd and last child partly because I didn't like not having a choice with my first child... Was engaged to be married,but realized that I was not ready for that journey at 19... It's funny,because I had no problem accepting the weight of being a parent....I put a lot of things on hold to raise my sons,and I still ended up getting married a few years later.Now I'm the professional talking with individuals about life changing decisions...I draw on my own life events to highlight the fact that some of life's greatest blessings come from our darkest times...


Posted By: AmiliaCabral
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 11:21am
china thank you soooo much for that Hug

You are amazing!!!


Posted By: Brjasuga51
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 11:32am
Amila...that's a real Testimony. Made it through the rough and STANDING STRONG


Posted By: iliveforbhm
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 11:48am
Wow, China. Amazing strength.


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 12:02pm
China-- &


Posted By: Jewelsnyc
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 12:09pm

 



Posted By: Jewelsnyc
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 12:10pm
Originally posted by nekamarie83 nekamarie83 wrote:

China-- &
Clap


Posted By: Jewelsnyc
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 12:22pm
Originally posted by coconess coconess wrote:

Clap

i didnt graduate either…. highs cool of middle school… 

i know it will come back to me on here but whatevs… 
i hope to be like you Hug
Nothing to be ashamed of Coco...


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 12:35pm
Originally posted by Jewelsnyc Jewelsnyc wrote:

That's my story fam...LOL
Hang in there and be in it to win it jewels. It's coming!!


Posted By: Brjasuga51
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 12:37pm
Originally posted by nekamarie83 nekamarie83 wrote:

Originally posted by Jewelsnyc Jewelsnyc wrote:

That's my story fam...LOL
Hang in there and be in it to win it jewels. It's coming!!
Jewels ... an array of sunshine is coming your way...just keep your head up so u can see it when it comes


Posted By: Brjasuga51
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 12:39pm
China...u left me speechless with you testimony. I am proud of U Handshake


Posted By: HunnyB
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 12:40pm
Y'all gon have me crying at workCry


Posted By: Jewelsnyc
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 12:42pm
Originally posted by Brjasuga51 Brjasuga51 wrote:

Originally posted by nekamarie83 nekamarie83 wrote:

Originally posted by Jewelsnyc Jewelsnyc wrote:

That's my story fam...LOL
Hang in there and be in it to win it jewels. It's coming!!
Jewels ... an array of sunshine is coming your way...just keep your head up so u can see it when it comes
HugThanks guys!! It can't always be raining...can't wait to throw these darn rain boots & coat in the trash! LOL


Posted By: chinadoll77
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 12:42pm
Originally posted by Jewelsnyc Jewelsnyc wrote:

Originally posted by nekamarie83 nekamarie83 wrote:

China-- &

Clap

THANKS...I had to come to terms with my own issues before I was comfortable enough to start sharing my story..I realized that just about every person that I have ever came into contact with has a story that has defined them in some way,shape, or form...I learned to not be ashamed of being a victim of a sick individual,it was hard because I was finally working through my issues dealing with molesation.I truly felt like GOD hated me for awhile.I won't lie,and say that prayer helped me. I honestly didn't attempt to pray until after I had my oldest son.It might sound weird,but my stubborn nature helped me get through a lot of dark nights.I simply refused to give up..If anybody on this site is currently having a battle with depression please remember that if you don't get anything else out of the stories posted.Dark moments do past in time,and talking,and writing can often help you just be selective with the people you seek counsel from.


Posted By: Brjasuga51
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 12:42pm
Originally posted by Jewelsnyc Jewelsnyc wrote:

Originally posted by Brjasuga51 Brjasuga51 wrote:

Originally posted by nekamarie83 nekamarie83 wrote:

Originally posted by Jewelsnyc Jewelsnyc wrote:

That's my story fam...LOL
Hang in there and be in it to win it jewels. It's coming!!
Jewels ... an array of sunshine is coming your way...just keep your head up so u can see it when it comes
HugThanks guys!! It can't always be raining...can't wait to throw these darn rain boots & coat in the trash! LOL
With that spirit and drive...that day is coming soon. Soon enough u will be donning some Chanel ShadesCool


Posted By: chinadoll77
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 12:49pm
Jewelsnyc you did something that most people couldn't fathom,you started over..That would be an enormous obstacle for anyone,but it's multiplied by 100 when you're a parent.


Posted By: Jewelsnyc
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 12:51pm
We have some pretty awesome ladies & gents on this site...mixed in with the crazies...but that's what makes this place so painfully wonderful. LOL


Posted By: Brjasuga51
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 12:52pm
That is true JewelsLOL


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 1:02pm
Originally posted by Jewelsnyc Jewelsnyc wrote:

 HugThanks guys!! It can't always be raining...can't wait to throw these darn rain boots & coat in the trash! LOL
you're welcome & suja jr is right. soon you'll be able to put em away.
Originally posted by chinadoll77 chinadoll77 wrote:

 Dark moments do past in time,and talking,and writing can often help you just be selective with the people you seek counsel from.  
agree. as it was presented to me; "not everyone deserves to hear your story". and that's getting or giving help. 


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 1:03pm
Originally posted by Jewelsnyc Jewelsnyc wrote:

We have some pretty awesome ladies & gents on this site...mixed in with the crazies...but that's what makes this place so painfully wonderful. LOL
preach!! LOL


Posted By: AwesomeAries
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 1:04pm
Bhm needs some positivity
hopefully no one tries to use this against anyone
we have successfully met our ain't sheit quota for the month


Posted By: Jewelsnyc
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 1:09pm
Originally posted by chinadoll77 chinadoll77 wrote:

Jewelsnyc you did something that most people couldn't fathom,you started over..That would be an enormous obstacle for anyone,but it's multiplied by 100 when you're a parent.
China it pales in comparison to your story. I'm truly humbled by you. I almost feel embarrassed about ever feeling sorry for myself. Your story is a tribute to all survivors of sexual abuse, I pray that anyone who is or has suffered such violence towards them & reads your story, will gain strength from it. 


Posted By: Jewelsnyc
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 1:10pm
Originally posted by AwesomeAries AwesomeAries wrote:

Bhm needs some positivity
hopefully no one tries to use this against anyone
we have successfully met our ain't sheit quota for the month
AA I ain't got no problems kickin a nicca ass between their shoulders if that's what is needed...I'm bout that life my G...LOL


Posted By: Derri
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 1:45pm
.


Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 2:07pm
My hair is long and my skin is good.

Thank you, BHM. Clap


Posted By: Jewelsnyc
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 2:11pm
UnhappyStern SmileLOL


Posted By: chinadoll77
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 2:18pm
...........


Posted By: Jewelsnyc
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 2:29pm
I think I'm gonna take Derri's lead & remove my post too...don't make no sense.


Posted By: OrriannaRose
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 2:41pm
Hugand HeartHeartHeart to all the ladies who shared.


Posted By: kfoxx1998
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 2:43pm
None of you ladies should remove your posts and NOT ONE OF YOU has anything to feel ashamed of.  Some of y'all know I don't give a damn, I share so much because its about all of you who could possibly learn something from my experience.  If you remove the fear that people will throw things up in your face you will not give one fck.

The majority of the people who do that kind of thing are failing miserably at life because not only are they not learning from their own struggles, they're not learning from ANYONE'S.  What can a bish on the internets REALLY do to your life that is relevant. 

They are lost causes, no need giving them any of the positive energy y'all are creating here.    I need my black queens to recognize their strength.  Life will always throw sh*t in your path, it never stops.  You just get better and better at brushing that sh*t off.  We get stronger after every challenge until we let one break us. 


Posted By: Derri
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 2:48pm
I removed my post because it didn't fit with the theme of the thread, not because of judgement.


Posted By: HunnyB
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 2:52pm
Clap

Adds KFoxx to my list of favsLOL


Posted By: CLCNY20
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 3:07pm
know what?  nvm.




Posted By: Jewelsnyc
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 3:14pm
Originally posted by kfoxx1998 kfoxx1998 wrote:

None of you ladies should remove your posts and NOT ONE OF YOU has anything to feel ashamed of.  Some of y'all know I don't give a damn, I share so much because its about all of you who could possibly learn something from my experience.  If you remove the fear that people will throw things up in your face you will not give one fck.

The majority of the people who do that kind of thing are failing miserably at life because not only are they not learning from their own struggles, they're not learning from ANYONE'S.  What can a bish on the internets REALLY do to your life that is relevant. 

They are lost causes, no need giving them any of the positive energy y'all are creating here.    I need my black queens to recognize their strength.  Life will always throw sh*t in your path, it never stops.  You just get better and better at brushing that sh*t off.  We get stronger after every challenge until we let one break us. 
I didn't remove mine because of fear...I removed it because this thread shouldn't be trivialized. These ladies have shared some deep complexties that unfortunately many daft members who are too simple to leave that sh!t for another thread, would never understand. I prefer to leave those dense mofo's in the the darkness that is their life. 
 
If at any point anyone has any interest to hear or want to share anything with me that is truly meaningful, by all means, don't hesitate to pm me.
 
Also, anyone that would like to continue to share, by all means...do so. I just know my temper & because of what has been shared in here by myself & the other ladies....my ass will black out & lose my damn account. 


Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 3:19pm
my post was quoted so i can't remove… 

it wasn't as bad as some shared though.. 
i could share more.. but i don't think i wanna…. 


Posted By: Princess Grace
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 3:22pm
Its sad you have to wonder if your testimony will later be used as a receipt....


Posted By: Jewelsnyc
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 3:23pm
Originally posted by coconess coconess wrote:

my post was quoted so i can't remove… 

it wasn't as bad as some shared though.. 
i could share more.. but i don't think i wanna…. 
Share only what you feel comfortable wtih Coco. There isn't a broad on this site that hasn't been through some changes...and if they haven't, then they haven't lived. Life will keep a bitch in the teeth in a min. The key is to learn how to bob & weave mama...bob & weave. LOL


Posted By: kfoxx1998
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 3:29pm
Derri and Jewels I wasn't really talking to y'all because I know neither of you cares what people try to come at you withLOL.

It was more so to people who actually do want to share but can't / won't due to the assholes. 


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 3:32pm
Originally posted by Princess Grace Princess Grace wrote:

Its sad you have to wonder if your testimony will later be used as a receipt....


true. 

applause to everyone who shared. Im sure your posts will help someone who needs to read that and needs encouragement, today.

Clap  for persevering.


Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 3:44pm
Originally posted by CLCNY20 CLCNY20 wrote:

know what?  nvm.



im glad i caught it. it was inspirational
id like to read…
i wish i had your callings…
it would be therapeutic 


Posted By: Jewelsnyc
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 3:51pm
Originally posted by coconess coconess wrote:

Originally posted by CLCNY20 CLCNY20 wrote:

know what?  nvm.



im glad i caught it. it was inspirational
id like to read…
i wish i had your callings…
it would be therapeutic 
Me too clc! I can't wait to read your novel...make it nice & juicy! LOL


Posted By: CLCNY20
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 4:03pm
Thanks LOLEmbarrassed

I deleted mostly because it was too long and I didn't want to condense it, and don't need the ignant tl:dr comments.


Posted By: SoutherNtellect
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 4:06pm
.


Posted By: kfoxx1998
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 4:10pm
CLC I read every word and it was awesomeClap.  Looking forward to reading that book.  That job had to get out of your way, sh*t was holding you back!


Posted By: CLCNY20
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 4:22pm
Thanks ladies.  Now I feel bad for deleting--I did save it on Word LOL, but yeah, it was too long


Posted By: kfoxx1998
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 4:25pm
Island
Chyna
Neka
Amilia
CLC
cokes

Hopefully I didn't forget anyone but those are the ones I got to read I think.  Thank you so much for the inspiration.  I heard words like gratitude, keeping a journal, writing, helping, hoping, love etc.

I hope you ladies continue to "struggle" because y'all sure kicked struggle's ass and got even strongerHug


Posted By: CLCNY20
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 4:35pm
Heart


Posted By: kfoxx1998
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 4:36pm
I had tried so many things to help my daughter get out of her depressions and I finally found the one thing that works.  Gratitude.  It is really hard to stay depressed if you keep yourself a strong list of things you're thankful for.  I pull that one out all the time when I feel like I have something to complain about.  I be like bish what about the good sh*tLOL.

The hard part is even making that list when you feel sad/bad so it can be hard to push through. 

Anyway when she calls me sounding all sad the first thing I say is 'are you respecting your gratitudes?'.   Most of the time she hasn't even considered them but by the time we hang up she's bubbling with anticipation of her next challenge!  It makes me feel so happy when she's happy.  

*Emotional post* She told me she's working on being a good daughter after giving me so much grief.  I got so emotional and I told her the ONLY thing I expect you to do is be happy and you're starting to do that.  My heart is filled with happiness over that because that is all I want from you.  You're making one of my biggest dreams come true.   



Posted By: Brjasuga51
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 4:39pm
Some of the posters on this board are real BUMBOHOLES...I SWEAR. NAWWW WE NOT SUPPOSE TO DO SUMMTIN UPLIFTING AND ENCOURAGING. TELL UNNUH FI TEAR DUNG PPL...SOME A DEM A KILL DEMSELF FI DI FRONT OF LINE. KMTTT.CYAN HAVE NUTTIN NICE I SWEAR. YES COME JUMP INNA MI CHEST NOW.


Posted By: OrriannaRose
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 4:40pm
 And everybody's deleting now. Pinch


Posted By: eanaj5
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 4:49pm
didnt we do something like this before and it turned into a drama thread because some ignant souless bish wanted to dig some dirt up and throw it in a poster who shared a struggle story face?
I understand why some chose to poof in this thread


Posted By: sugabanana
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 4:55pm
Thread is going down hill now. Everyone is deleting/poofing. Some real sheitt happens to people everyday. Don't be fooled by the New Times Roman font. Everyone got a story to tell whether its big or small. Its an inspiration to anyone else out there going through a difficult time. I've been down a dark road before and let me tell yall this site really helped me shift my focus and lifted my joy with all the top foolery cos there were times when I was mad enough to commit crimes and end up in jail. 


Posted By: Mixer
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 4:58pm
The more that I think about it, this site doesn't seem all that bad. Hearing all these stories and even the fear that someone might use it against you sounds emptier than ever to me. It's something about the combination, I don't know how to explain but thanks for all the stories everyone.Hug

I just got to say I am so glad I got out of Florida. It's so much better here. The real problem now is how I think about how much I hated it there all the time. I need to just relax and concentrate on how much better my environment is now. But for awhile I've been pretty irritable because I've spent so much time thinking about the worse place I've ever lived. I just need to take my mind off of that and focus on connecting with my family more.


Posted By: kfoxx1998
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 5:16pm
Clap Mixer.  Fl don't deserve not one more ounce of your time, taking away some of your joy.  Leave it there!


Posted By: Mixer
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 5:18pm
Thank you, kfoxx. I do want to go back to visit my family, like my baby brother who is doing so good in school.


Posted By: AshBash89
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 5:23pm
Often times one's testimony is a cheat sheet for another's test. I'm not going to share my life story but last year this time I was so broken, so hurt, so angry and so lost. I felt betrayed by those that I loved the most. On top of my own personal issues, my brother was suicidal. I was in emotional turmoil but I stayed prayed up. I often questioned "why me? What did I do to deserve this?" The answer is nothing, I didn't deserve it but now I'm so thankful for it. I would repeat "it can only rain so long before the sun comes out" and though my today may not be sunny, it's much brighter than yesterday. I still feel betrayed, I'm still hurt but I'm not angry anymore.


Posted By: sugabanana
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 5:29pm
Where is the daggone collection plate when I need it. Ash that was beautiful. Its everything that I felt and always asked why why why. 


Posted By: Mixer
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 5:30pm
HugAsh.


Posted By: K_Camille
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 5:34pm
Thanks to everyone who shared.  All of you ladies are some inspiring women.  I'm still in the process; I haven't reached success yet so I can't share but in a couple years, I hope so.


Posted By: AwesomeAries
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 5:45pm
I got your back with gifs ready
Originally posted by Jewelsnyc Jewelsnyc wrote:

Originally posted by AwesomeAries AwesomeAries wrote:

Bhm needs some positivity
hopefully no one tries to use this against anyone
we have successfully met our ain't sheit quota for the month

AA I ain't got no problems kickin a nicca ass between their shoulders if that's what is needed...I'm bout that life my G...LOL


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 5:56pm
Originally posted by kfoxx1998 kfoxx1998 wrote:

If you remove the fear that people will throw things up in your face you will not give one fck.
Clap thus is why i fux with kfoxx. Heart


Posted By: Derri
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 5:58pm
I read that CLC. I don't know you personlly, but i'm so happy for you. All of you, actually.

The best thing that ever happened to me was being depressed and suicidal. Sounds crazy but I don't mean it with any intent of being insensitive to suicide or depression. It just was the thing that led me to my breakthrough, and most people who've had the same breakthrough had it while being severely depressed and suicidal.

It is essential to separate pain from suffering.
I don't have any 1 particular story to share, which is why I deleted my previous post. I am not a single experience. I find that my life feels more like a necklace of Pearls. Each situation ('good' or 'bad') is a Pearl...i am more like the string that hold the Pearls together. Where is the beginning and where is the end, It almost doesn't matter. Just that I know that I am the string that contain the Pearl, not the experience itself.





Posted By: kfoxx1998
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 6:03pm
@ neka, right back atcha

@Derri - that was beautifulCry


Posted By: Derri
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 6:05pm
And yeah, I have many stories of my darkness. I don't want to dwell on them. They were, and now they are not. Every day is now. The past is gone and the future never comes. Everyday is today. When tomorrow comes, we call it 'today'. Tomorrow is an illusion. I focus on today only. Yeaterday has nothing for me, and today has everything I'll ever have.



Posted By: HaitianDiva64
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 6:12pm
some great women on this board. This board makes me happy and sad. Happy cause there are so many ways to connect with women just like you but sad cause its hard to find that outside in the real world cause we (myself to) are so gaurded sometimes. Im not mad at the deleting.


Posted By: Brjasuga51
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 6:33pm
sh*tttttt....let me share my testimony.
18 yr old young girl living in Jamaica never wanted for nothing...I had it all. Got involved with a young man and I found out he was cheating. All hell broke loose after that. I beat...yes physically beat anything or anyone that said something that I didn't like. My Dad wanted the best for me...he bought a ticket to Canada a Monday for me to leave the Wednesday. He told me the Tuesday. I didn't know at that time that he was not planning on taking me back home but to send me to school in Canada. I cried and pleaded with him when I figured out his intentions. His words exactly " Everyone except your mother wants me to give up on you....I refuse to give up my child. I want u to make life for yourself by going to school and doing well. I will be your financial support". After months after dealing with my uncle white wife and his jealous son that jumped me more than once. I adjusted and kept my gold in mind. I experience my Christmas away from family. I felt like my heart was torn out. I suffered from Winter blisters. Because Jamaica doesn't have snow I was unaware of how to address. At school I met a friend..,she helped me on my academic journey.
My friend filled out scholarship forms for me to go to different universities in Canada and the US. I was awarded scholarships in both countries. I continued on my academic journey with a full blown scholarship to a school upstate ny.I was fully supported by MY father and my aunt in the NY. She continuously reminded me of my family values despite the I'll treatment I got from my uncles wife. I graduated with honors without student loans and was privileged to find a job out of school. I signed up to the black youth program and helped other youths with the same issues that I fought when I was in Jamaica.
Here I am today...with my education...curved out into an okay woman. And ready to even accomplish more. I Live...Learn and Grow each day.


Posted By: Jewelsnyc
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 6:37pm
Originally posted by Brjasuga51 Brjasuga51 wrote:

Some of the posters on this board are real BUMBOHOLES...I SWEAR. NAWWW WE NOT SUPPOSE TO DO SUMMTIN UPLIFTING AND ENCOURAGING. TELL UNNUH FI TEAR DUNG PPL...SOME A DEM A KILL DEMSELF FI DI FRONT OF LINE. KMTTT.CYAN HAVE NUTTIN NICE I SWEAR. YES COME JUMP INNA MI CHEST NOW.
Brown suga man!! I laughed so damn hard.


Posted By: Jewelsnyc
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 6:39pm
Originally posted by HaitianDiva64 HaitianDiva64 wrote:

some great women on this board. This board makes me happy and sad. Happy cause there are so many ways to connect with women just like you but sad cause its hard to find that outside in the real world cause we (myself to) are so gaurded sometimes. Im not mad at the deleting.
mama you know if you ever wanna hear my long ass story, I'll share it. I honestly don't have a problem with it. But I honestly don't like people playing around when in all actuality these stories may help someone last one more day when they feel like giving up.


Posted By: Brjasuga51
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 6:40pm
Originally posted by Jewelsnyc Jewelsnyc wrote:

Originally posted by Brjasuga51 Brjasuga51 wrote:

Some of the posters on this board are real BUMBOHOLES...I SWEAR. NAWWW WE NOT SUPPOSE TO DO SUMMTIN UPLIFTING AND ENCOURAGING. TELL UNNUH FI TEAR DUNG PPL...SOME A DEM A KILL DEMSELF FI DI FRONT OF LINE. KMTTT.CYAN HAVE NUTTIN NICE I SWEAR. YES COME JUMP INNA MI CHEST NOW.
Brown suga man!! I laughed so damn hard.
Dem get mi vex man. Dem fi do better. And some of them will be the first to talk about...ohhh be uplifting. But yet use peoples experiences to hang them. Everything everyone of you ladies go through as helped u to become better individuals in life.


Posted By: Jewelsnyc
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 6:44pm
I'm proud of you sis!! That's a hard thing to have to go through, but you're stronger & a beautiful spirit!!


Posted By: Mixer
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 6:48pm
Originally posted by Jewelsnyc Jewelsnyc wrote:

I'm proud of you sis!! That's a hard thing to have to go through, but you're stronger & a beautiful spirit!!
I couldn't have said it better myself. ClapBr.


Posted By: Brjasuga51
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 6:49pm
Hug....Thanks Jewels....I have been through the STORM. But I held on.
Originally posted by Jewelsnyc Jewelsnyc wrote:

I'm proud of you sis!! That's a hard thing to have to go through, but you're stronger & a beautiful spirit!!


Posted By: Brjasuga51
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 6:50pm
Smile Thanks Mixer
Originally posted by Mixer Mixer wrote:

Originally posted by Jewelsnyc Jewelsnyc wrote:

I'm proud of you sis!! That's a hard thing to have to go through, but you're stronger & a beautiful spirit!!
I couldn't have said it better myself. ClapBr.


Posted By: mommykat
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 6:55pm
BHM, aided me with my SAHM (I would like to work part-time) and son attending Pre-K depression (no siblings and my parents in another state). The ladies on this site--- for the most part are loving and thoughtful.
It’s hard not having family nearby and BHM has helped me to feel this void. Thanks….

I did not get to read pgs. 1-7 BHM Testimonies


Posted By: Mixer
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 6:59pm
You're welcome, brown Jamaican.


Posted By: Jewelsnyc
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 7:02pm
Hey Mommykat..now I feel bad that I deleted. Here are cliff notes of my story is:

I lost my foundation (mom & dad taken suddenly & my aunt 6 months after my mom).
lost my career & lost everything.
Felt isolated, depressed, alone & afraid if I can make it.
Didn't understand why any of this had to happen...especially the way it did. Didn't want to continue. But if not for my kids, I would'nt be here. God really does know what he's doing...
Basically on the road to re-build...only bigger, faster & stronger...LOL


Can't stop...won't stop...




Posted By: kfoxx1998
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 7:25pm
J I didn't know that.  I'm so sorry.  That's just too much all at once. And aunties are like extra mommiesCry

You didn't lose everything but I know you absolutely felt like you did.  This has been the next phase of what has been an amazing life.  Your story is still being written and there is so much to look forward to in the next 20yrs.   I am so happy for your future grandbabies.  They are going to be like I love my crazy grandma because you will never stop being a riot!

I know you are rising everyday because you cannot be this awesome online and not be pretty awesome IRL.   You have given so much laughter to so many here that you have to be a very special lady with a lot left to doHug




Posted By: kkscottdale
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 7:28pm
Not really a testimony, but just something that has been on my heart lately

I realized that everyone is gonna have an opinion, whether you do right or wrong. It's all about perception and you really got to have a strong sense of who YOU are or else you'll always be blown by what people think of you. Doesn't mean you become arrogant with pride, but remember who you are and for those who believe in God, whose you are. I'm working on this principle myself. 

I think we would have much less petty arguments on this forum and in the world in general. Wishful thinking, I know, but I'm trying to be a part of the change that I want to see.


Posted By: Jewelsnyc
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 7:32pm
Originally posted by kfoxx1998 kfoxx1998 wrote:

J I didn't know that.  I'm so sorry.  That's just too much all at once. And aunties are like extra mommiesCry

You didn't lose everything but I know you absolutely felt like you did.  This has been the next phase of what has been an amazing life.  Your story is still being written and there is so much to look forward to in the next 20yrs.   I am so happy for your future grandbabies.  They are going to be like I love my crazy grandma because you will never stop being a riot!

I know you are rising everyday because you cannot be this awesome online and not be pretty awesome IRL.   You have given so much laughter to so many here that you have to be a very special lady with a lot left to doHug


Thanks Queen! That means a lot...I've learned to find humor even in my darkest moments. I have a funny story, at my mom's funeral I was a wreck. I didn't want to even go..but everyone forced me to.I sat way in the back cause I couldn't bring myself to see her like that. So anyway, my ghetto ass nutcase niece call herself giving a eulogy...she wrote a poem...Stern Smile. I can't remember all of it because I literally blacked out...all I remember is the verse she kept repeating...."you was a dang good mama"....

From that day til this, when I speak to my cousins...they'll end the call with hey guess what? "you're a dang good mama" LOLLOLLOL


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 7:34pm
Originally posted by Brjasuga51 Brjasuga51 wrote:

sh*tttttt....let me share my testimony.
My homie!!


Posted By: kfoxx1998
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 7:35pm
LOL Poor thing.  She probably put her little heart into that speech.  I'm dying over here!!!  She ain't never gonna live that down. 


Posted By: Brjasuga51
Date Posted: Feb 04 2014 at 7:36pm
Hug muahhhhhhh
Originally posted by nekamarie83 nekamarie83 wrote:

Originally posted by Brjasuga51 Brjasuga51 wrote:

sh*tttttt....let me share my testimony.
My homie!!



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