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Would you wait for a man to...

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Printed Date: Jul 21 2018 at 4:39pm


Topic: Would you wait for a man to...
Posted By: YoursTruly
Subject: Would you wait for a man to...
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 12:43am
get himself together. Let's say you're in your 30s, you own your own home, own car, great career, no kids. You meet a great man the same age as you (he's hilarious, smart, tall, dark, & handsome, no kids)....he has all the personality traits (and look) you're looking for EXCEPT he doesn't have his financial $hit together. He's looking for a better job, trying to go school, get a better car, and take care of his credit. On one hand I say help him out, motivate him, help build the brotha up....but.....on the other hand I'm like yall the same damn age so why couldn't he have gotten his stuff together by now too. Confused

Would you wait for him to get this $hit together or would you keep it moving?



Replies:
Posted By: QueenBee
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 12:52am
Depends. The scenarios is too broad.

Early 30's vs. late 30's

Why is he having financial hardship?

Does he live on his own, with friends, or in his momma's basement?

Trying to go to school -- So he inquiring about attending college, just starting school (taken a few courses) or about to finish up?

Does he have a full time job but looking to advance or his better job is from part time to full time?

For me, car model/year is subjective as long as it goes from point A to B without any major issues.


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 12:55am
If he had a real explanation to his financial problem, which does not include blaming someone else, and he is genuinely trying by actively looking for a job, improving his resume, etc, I would be patient.

I have waited on a man before to get his sh!t together. He had a reason, I understood, and later he got the job and made more money than me. I don't like the waiting period though, because you can't go everywhere you want when you don't want to pay for two and he doesn't want you paying for him, so you are kinda of stuck doing cheap or free activities...


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 1:00am
As long as he doesn't expect me to pay for him and he isn't in a bad position due to illegal or unethical activities then it's all good.

Finding someone you're compatible with is difficult so I wouldn't let financial issues get in the way.


Posted By: YoursTruly
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 1:01am
Originally posted by QueenBee QueenBee wrote:

Depends. The scenarios is too broad.

Early 30's vs. late 30's

Why is he having financial hardship?

Trying to go to school?? Is he inquiring about attending college, just starting school or about to finish up?

Does he have a full time job but looking to advance or his better job is from part time to full time?

For me, car model/year is subjective as long as it goes from point A to B without any major issues.


Early 30s. I believe she said his financial situation is due to being in a car wreck like a year ago and so he couldn't work for a while. But he wasn't making much before that anyway. So now he's doing the preliminary things (getting hs transcripts, testing, etc.) to get into college to get a better job/career.




Posted By: Lady ICE
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 1:02am
the world is hard on men sometimes. (sometimes) so..knowing me i'd help him. cause even for myself..ive had a late start....so maybe he just needs help...

as long as hes putting in work..and not tryna quit. none of that..imma take a break and find myself stuff..im there for you. i think


Posted By: Bored w/Out Me?
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 1:05am
As long as he don't plan to get his stuff together while living off of You, I say go for it...


Posted By: lanae
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 1:23am
Its perfectly fine to grow with a good, responsible man that earns a modest living. Its in the early stage so as long as he still pays for the dates and has his own (car, place etc) then sure why not.


Posted By: f8dagrate
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 1:52am
Originally posted by YoursTruly YoursTruly wrote:

Originally posted by QueenBee QueenBee wrote:

Depends. The scenarios is too broad.

.


Early 30s. I believe she said his financial situation is due to being in a car wreck like a year ago and so he couldn't work for a while. But he wasn't making much before that anyway. So now he's doing the preliminary things (getting hs transcripts, testing, etc.) to get into college to get a better job/career.



Was he in jail?, before he got into the car wreck? Is he fine, does he have a third leg? Hmm can you give us a pic of him if available.


Posted By: f8dagrate
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 1:55am
Originally posted by Lady ICE Lady ICE wrote:

the world is hard on men sometimes. (sometimes) so..knowing me i'd help him. cause even for myself..ive had a late start....so maybe he just needs help...

as long as hes putting in work..and not tryna quit. none of that..imma take a break and find myself stuff..im there for you. i think

hmmm yeah no. I wish my brother or son would say some ish like this to me. Especially if were in a first world country. Yea, I know about racial discrimination. But, I don't do well with excuses like this. No offense to you Lady ice.


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 1:58am
If he got all of those issues that brotha aint a great man......he barely aight.....how old? 30.....he has like 5 more years of struggling before he is decent.....by the time he is in the position to marry and provide you gon have powdered eggs....

Too many option....but hey some women enjoy fixer uppers makes them feel like they earned the love and loyalty......no shade....just make sure she aint preparing the brotha for the next chick.....


Posted By: Lady ICE
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 2:05am
Originally posted by f8dagrate f8dagrate wrote:

Originally posted by Lady ICE Lady ICE wrote:

the world is hard on men sometimes. (sometimes) so..knowing me i'd help him. cause even for myself..ive had a late start....so maybe he just needs help...

as long as hes putting in work..and not tryna quit. none of that..imma take a break and find myself stuff..im there for you. i think

hmmm yeah no. I wish my brother or son would say some ish like this to me. Especially if were in a first world country. Yea, I know about racial discrimination. But, I don't do well with excuses like this. No offense to you Lady ice.
i said that because a woman can be in the same situation and ppl will feel pity for her..(sometimes) but since we're talkin men...its just always different. no excuse or anything, just something i noticed. Confused


Posted By: f8dagrate
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 2:29am
Originally posted by Lady ICE Lady ICE wrote:

Originally posted by f8dagrate f8dagrate wrote:

Originally posted by Lady ICE Lady ICE wrote:

the world is hard on men sometimes. (sometimes) so..knowing me i'd help him. cause even for myself..ive had a late start....so maybe he just needs help...

as long as hes putting in work..and not tryna quit. none of that..imma take a break and find myself stuff..im there for you. i think

hmmm yeah no. I wish my brother or son would say some ish like this to me. Especially if were in a first world country. Yea, I know about racial discrimination. But, I don't do well with excuses like this. No offense to you Lady ice.
i said that because a woman can be in the same situation and ppl will feel pity for her..(sometimes) but since we're talkin men...its just always different. no excuse or anything, just something i noticed. Confused

Hmm I  understand but, a man is a man and woman is a woman. People can hate all the double standards they like but they are there. The world has proven to be more harsh on a woman than man imo. But, I know black men have it hard, but that shouldn't mean they should use that as crutch. 


Posted By: YoursTruly
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 2:32am
Originally posted by f8dagrate f8dagrate wrote:

Originally posted by YoursTruly YoursTruly wrote:

Originally posted by QueenBee QueenBee wrote:

Depends. The scenarios is too broad.

.


Early 30s. I believe she said his financial situation is due to being in a car wreck like a year ago and so he couldn't work for a while. But he wasn't making much before that anyway. So now he's doing the preliminary things (getting hs transcripts, testing, etc.) to get into college to get a better job/career.




Was he in jail?, before he got into the car wreck? Is he fine, does he have a third leg? Hmm can you give us a pic of him if available.


No never been to jail...From what I've heard he's a pretty smart guy he just chose to start working after Hs instead of college. Lol@3rd leg!!! I don't know all of those details.


Posted By: Lady ICE
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 2:32am
@f8. 

i understand.


Posted By: f8dagrate
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 2:36am
@yourstruly I was just messing around about the third legLOLStern Smile

See that is why I will make sure, I will let my son follow his educational path if he chooses to. Instead of having him work to these, minimum wage jobs. I will support him through out college. Besides he has whole life to work, why push them early? Not, saying that is what happened in his case. What does he want to do in school? If he still doesn't know, then I would pass on him tbh. If he does, and it depends what he wants to do. I say she should give him a chance, but don't put all her eggs in one basket.


Posted By: f8dagrate
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 2:37am
Originally posted by Lady ICE Lady ICE wrote:

@f8. 

i understand.

If you don't mind me asking, how many sons do you have? 


Posted By: Lady ICE
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 2:51am
just one.


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 3:27am
Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

If he had a real explanation to his financial problem, which does not include blaming someone else, and he is genuinely trying by actively looking for a job, improving his resume, etc, I would be patient.



Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 3:54am
Originally posted by Bored w/Out Me? Bored w/Out Me? wrote:

As long as he don't plan to get his stuff together while living off of You, I say go for it...

and this


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 5:30am
The waiting game isn't for me. While you're getting your life together, I'm already looking for your replacement lol


Posted By: mangachan
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 5:54am
Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:

Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

If he had a real explanation to his financial problem, which does not include blaming someone else, and he is genuinely trying by actively looking for a job, improving his resume, etc, I would be patient.



I met someone who owned a company that grossed over 1mil a year, lost it when the recession hit.  You just never know.


Posted By: IslandSuga
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 6:42am
While he's getting his ish together I'd continue to date him and others. I'm not tied down to him nor do I have to be. He's not ready to date at all, his situation screams it.


Posted By: nemesis1
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 6:52am
Whether I stay would depend on what I see in him. If he's a great person & has the qualities I'm looking for/we're compatible, and he's working, has his own place and I see he's truly trying, I would give him a chance. It's hard finding a good man out there and one you're compatible with too.


Posted By: juniper angel
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 7:57am
Uh no I would hanve to pass I dont want to fix a man or build him up he is a man should have done that himself.


Posted By: Sang Froid
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 8:57am
If you're in your 30s dating potential you're retarded.
You date potential when you're in your early 20s....not when you're grown as sh*t
I'mma need women to do better.
Let these broke ass retarded ass nigguhs die off.
Y'all *&%^$#@Ein' up evolution.


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 9:12am
i think men are set in their ways by then.  if he hasn't learned that he needs to do x y and z to have a decent life and future by his 30's then it is not going to happen.  those type of ppl live life in cycles...get a job for a few mths, get money up enough to LOOK like something is there that isn't, get lazy and quit, or get fired...stay unemployed for months then do it all over again.  those are ain't sh*t ngas. why is it that all of a sudden when you/I/whoever starts talking to them that's when they're doing ALL this stuff to get their life together?  coincidence?  no.  

but if he's just having a financial speed bump that's different...his life history definitely matters.  i'm not going to look at a college educated, good/decent credit, worked the same job for 5 yrs, etc type of guy the same way i'll look at someone who just blows in the wind and claims to be getting back on their feet when they've never been on their feet.  you can't make someone want better, they just want yours.


Posted By: MzCaliky
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 9:32am
My motto is as long as you don't ask me for nothing we are cool. 


Posted By: zolloh
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 9:33am
Whut?im gon tutor him on algebra 201?@ 30yrs old?...y'all play too much


Posted By: Princess Grace
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 9:48am
Please do not date him exclusively, pretty pretty please. You could meet someone already together waiting on him who MIGHT get it together.  Then not being mean while you sitting there encouraging him, accepting Victoria Secret lotion gift sets for Valentines day cause his $$$ is funny then he never really does any better.? I am afraid of men with a bunch of excuses and I get the hell out of there fast......
Then you will have ate all those 2 for $20 dinners at Chili's for nothing.Cry

No seriously if he knows he needs to get it together then why is he trying to date ?? He needs to focus on him right now and study his Intro to Biology. It will be almost 6-8 years before he can do anything IF he is working full time and taking classes at night. Lort please tell me he is childless....

You gone look up, he gone be living with you because he had a situation, sinking in your couch, while yelling Bae what fo dinner with the remote in his hand watching the NFL package he done ordered on YOUR Direct TV???Unhappy

Get out NOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!




Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 9:58am
I honestly only did that in college like Sang said. I couldn't see myself at 30 dating potential. I don't groom men for other bitches but shout out to those who do because you make them great for the next girl.


Posted By: QueenBee
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 10:09am
Pgrace.. I giggled. Read your post aloud too my sister and she hollered with laughter.


Posted By: Princess Grace
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 10:21am

Why should you cheat yourself because some random you met made poor planning and life choices? Any man worth a damn would bow out and remove himself from the dating pool or at least date someone in the same boat as him. Naw they wanna trade up Confused under the guise that its hard out here for a brotha.Cry

Grace is only looking in her bag to reapply lipgloss not my wallet to pay for any dinners. 




Posted By: Katrenia
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 10:44am
I lost a UPS VP because I had no patience. I was in school saying "Niqqa please, you work for UPS" LOL
He was a fine man who loved me but I thought a courier??? 

We can only advise you on this and some of us have past experience but you know this man's heart and you'll need to decipher the signs.
Me; I'm not getting rid of my car because the transmission went out however if I'm having engine issues and constant leaks, I'll be trading that one in.

You'll need to spend the time to see if he's gonna be a classic or a lemon.


Posted By: Katrenia
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 10:51am
Originally posted by Princess Grace Princess Grace wrote:

Please do not date him exclusively, pretty pretty please. You could meet someone already together waiting on him who MIGHT get it together.  Then not being mean while you sitting there encouraging him, accepting Victoria Secret lotion gift sets for Valentines day cause his $$$ is funny then he never really does any better.? I am afraid of men with a bunch of excuses and I get the hell out of there fast......
Then you will have ate all those 2 for $20 dinners at Chili's for nothing.Cry

No seriously if he knows he needs to get it together then why is he trying to date ?? He needs to focus on him right now and study his Intro to Biology. It will be almost 6-8 years before he can do anything IF he is working full time and taking classes at night. Lort please tell me he is childless....

You gone look up, he gone be living with you because he had a situation, sinking in your couch, while yelling Bae what fo dinner with the remote in his hand watching the NFL package he done ordered on YOUR Direct TV???Unhappy

Get out NOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

LOLLOL




Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 11:15am
Originally posted by YoursTruly YoursTruly wrote:


get himself together. Let's say you're in your 30s, you own your own
home, own car, great career, no kids. You meet a great man the same age
as you
(he's hilarious, smart, tall, dark, & handsome, no
kids)....he has all the personality traits (and look) you're looking for
EXCEPT he doesn't have his financial $hit together. He's looking for a
better job, trying to go school, get a better car, and take care of his
credit.
On one hand I say help him out, motivate him, help build the
brotha up....but.....on the other hand I'm like yall the same damn age
so why couldn't he have gotten his stuff together by now too. Confused

Would you wait for him to get this $hit together or would you keep it moving?
i understand things like credit can get messed up and we are constantly looking for a better job (but this depends on one's current job), i'll discount the car because cars can be liabilities and not an indication of financial responsibility and sometimes are an indication of financial irresponsibility. however, what is his current job and and go to school to do what? if its to get his first qualification vocational or otherwise, while i commend the epiphany to get his life together, if i was advising my female kin id say let it go. he can holla back when he gets in school at least or has bettered 2/3rds of his current flaws

unless he's a comedian, humour doesnt pay the bills and men have a propensity to leach off well established women


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 11:28am
PG said everything I was gonna say.

(lol)


Posted By: HowardAlumAKA
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 11:34am
Does he even want to be with you or does he want you to wait????


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 11:56am
for me, not worth it.


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 11:56am
Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

PG said everything I was gonna say.

(lol)
everything apart from trying to date.

he should date in his income bracket


Posted By: dijah.love
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 11:57am
IA with Princess 100%.

No! Ideally, I feel like once I'm ready to be married, I won't be interested in waiting on someone who isn't ready.

Plus 30s feels a bit late to not have it together but I'm 9 years out so I may be saying something different later on. But if I have it together, why do I have to wait?


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 12:06pm
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

PG said everything I was gonna say.

(lol)
everything apart from trying to date.

he should date in his income bracket


that's what we said LOL


Posted By: Beauty620
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 12:08pm
Originally posted by Katrenia Katrenia wrote:

I lost a UPS VP because I had no patience. I was in school saying "Niqqa please, you work for UPS" LOL
He was a fine man who loved me but I thought a courier??? 

We can only advise you on this and some of us have past experience but you know this man's heart and you'll need to decipher the signs.
Me; I'm not getting rid of my car because the transmission went out however if I'm having engine issues and constant leaks, I'll be trading that one in.

You'll need to spend the time to see if he's gonna be a classic or a lemon.

ClapClapClapClapClapClap


Posted By: Beauty620
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 12:16pm
I say you ain't gotta be so harsh like "Oh he** naw he gotta go" ...I mean you said he is trying right? He enrolled in school, just getn back on his feet, slowly but surely it's all a process, You gotta crawl before you walk, walk before you run, run before you leap...so on and so forth. So I'd say give him a chance to get on his feet, and if it turns out to be longer then expected then you decide on what will happen. Follow your heart, also listen to your intuition because only you know what's best for self. We are all on the outside looking in. 

Now I will say for those saying in shock...."30 and still playing the dating game", ain't Sh** wrong with that, I put no age limit on when you should or should not still be dating, or whether your a certain age and should be established. Everyone is different no one is the same, we all have our own motives in life. Idgaf if a person is 40, if he or she still has not found their soul mate then so be it. You can't knock a person's life if your not living in their shoes....that's being so Judgmental !! Angry




Posted By: Princess Grace
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 12:22pm
I say get out now cause people get all up in they feelings and Lort don't let him know how to lay the paynusCry, then he will get more passes cause thats her maannnnnn and in most cases these ladies walk away feeling used and abused and on Judge Judy trying to get him to pay for that Iphone 5 she added to her contract.

I am already side eyeing like a mug cause she said he funnyConfusedConfusedConfused.

Grace ain't bout that life, nope. He had a chance when he was in his 20'sErmm, let Laquandra deal with him.


Posted By: iliveforbhm
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 12:33pm
I need help ladies.... Im a good man.


Posted By: *Belle*Femme*
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 1:46pm
man there is this cute dude in jail. Fine as hell. but hes an inmate so there is nothing here to see. I couldnt wait for a man. 


Posted By: StylingArabella
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 1:56pm
Short answer, no. With so many men who already have their stuff together I don't see a reason to wait for one to get his life sorted out. The only reason why some men don't have their lives together is because of poor life decisions. I understand their are circumstances out of ones control such as a family member dies and their debt is left on you (if you co-signed)  and large hospital bills. Other than that I can't see why someone in their 30's aren't already well on their way to having a successful life.


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 3:13pm
Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

PG said everything I was gonna say.

(lol)
everything apart from trying to date.

he should date in his income bracket


that's what we said LOL
my bad


Posted By: smaison
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 3:25pm
hell no.


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 3:29pm
LOL


Posted By: herwoman
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 3:32pm
Meet me or beat me financially, money is a necessity and at 30+ paying for V-day dinners, buying your own bday gifts and waiting five more years for him to be established enough to buy you a diamond cluster is a waste of time.



Posted By: trudawg
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 3:43pm
LoL, @ all the Na's.

When I met my last g/f, I was barely scratching 40k a year while she was used to a six figure lifestyle. Six years, and two degrees later, I'm well over 100k year and will be near 200K if all goes as planned.  You cannot be so short-sided in life to let current earnings preclude potential.


Posted By: Senior Detective
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 3:49pm
I agree with trudawg, if ur gonna keep him, you should keep ur options open and date around. See where he's at in 2 years. If he's made any actual progress


Posted By: smaison
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 3:49pm
yeah, yeah, yeah....ur the exception to the rule, not the rule. so stop. i would not have talked to you and would not regret it later on no matter how rich you became. 6 years is too long to be with a poor man when could have had a rich one right now.

hell phucking no.


Posted By: herwoman
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 3:49pm
Six years is a long time especially at 30+


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 3:51pm
Originally posted by herwoman herwoman wrote:

Meet me or beat me financially, money is a necessity and at 30+ paying for V-day dinners, buying your own bday gifts and waiting five more years for him to be established enough to buy you a diamond cluster is a waste of time.

Basically.Embarrassed


Posted By: alynxx
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 3:55pm
Nope.


Posted By: zolloh
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 3:56pm
Originally posted by herwoman herwoman wrote:

Meet me or beat me financially, money is a necessity and at 30+ paying for V-day dinners, buying your own bday gifts and waiting five more years for him to be established enough to buy you a diamond cluster is a waste of time.

which unfortunate individual ever thought this sh*t was cute? Cry Cry LOL



Posted By: trudawg
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 4:01pm
Originally posted by smaison smaison wrote:

yeah, yeah, yeah....ur the exception to the rule, not the rule. so stop. i would not have talked to you and would not regret it later on no matter how rich you became. 6 years is too long to be with a poor man when could have had a rich one right now.

hell phucking no.



LoL @ the plethora of rich available guys NOT being the exception.


Posted By: kkscottdale
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 4:09pm
My SO and I have the same type of job right now, which doesn't make alot of money but it pays well enough to get by. I'm a nursing student graduating this summer and I'm 22, while he is 30 and came here from Africa about 6 years ago. He wants to become a doctor. He already had a degree in Africa but it wasn't going anywhere in Africa and as some already know, it is almost impossible for the USA to accept degrees from other countries. So he has had to start from scratch...

I know I will soon be making more money than him and he has mentioned it but honestly, I admire his drive so much and I know God is going to do wonderful things for him and his career that I really don't mind waiting. He is still taking classes and does very well in the sciences so I have confidence in him...

Plus, from the Mrs. standpoint, IF we get married ( been together for a few years now), it isn't a bad investment because being a doctor is definitely more financially better than being a nurse. He lives rather frugally as a student and I will need to live the same even if I am a nurse because I have certain goals for my future. So, I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. 

I agree that every scenario is different. Look at the person, not always their pocketbook. It's kinda like stocks, pick the right one and it will hopefully be a good return lol. 


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 4:41pm
but this dude is still in the starting block waiting for the gun to go off

his race hasnt even started

and thats a no no


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 4:58pm
Originally posted by trudawg trudawg wrote:

LoL, @ all the Na's.

When I met my last g/f, I was barely scratching 40k a year while she was used to a six figure lifestyle. Six years, and two degrees later, I'm well over 100k year and will be near 200K if all goes as planned.  You cannot be so short-sided in life to let current earnings preclude potential.



Lol so this shows her to move on because that's your EX. NOT your current and you've said you haven't been ready to settle down until recently.



Posted By: OoDles O
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 5:08pm
Well, if you feel like "YOUR WAITING" maybe its time to move on.
ideally if this is someone who you like and you're compatible with it shouldn't feel like a "wait" at all.

Maybe what your looking for, he just can't provide; something about his drive is suspect or maybe you're just impatient and he's not up to your speed. 


Posted By: trudawg
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 5:09pm
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

Originally posted by trudawg trudawg wrote:

LoL, @ all the Na's.

When I met my last g/f, I was barely scratching 40k a year while she was used to a six figure lifestyle. Six years, and two degrees later, I'm well over 100k year and will be near 200K if all goes as planned.  You cannot be so short-sided in life to let current earnings preclude potential.



Lol so this shows her to move on because that's your EX. NOT your current and you've said you haven't been ready to settle down until recently.



Our r/s woes were not financially related. Many wondered how I could leave such a beautiful wealthy woman, but it just goes to show, its' not about the money. It's about whether that person makes you happy or not.
I have been dating, and honestly, there just doesn't seem to be very many available women on my level. Seems like chicks are either drop dead gorgeous w/ extremely limited potential, or homely with great achievements and aspirations, lol. My queen is waiting for me somewhere though.


Posted By: NJHairLuv
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 5:19pm
Originally posted by trudawg trudawg wrote:

LoL, @ all the Na's.

When I met my last g/f, I was barely scratching 40k a year while she was used to a six figure lifestyle. Six years, and two degrees later, I'm well over 100k year and will be near 200K if all goes as planned.  You cannot be so short-sided in life to let current earnings preclude potential.

she rolled with you when you were building your future, thru thick & thin, ride or die and you still aint marry her, so um yeah.Approve


Posted By: AshBash89
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 5:20pm
I wonder if there's any correlation between this thread and the one about Black women and weddings(I haven't read it yet).

Eta:^Nvm I read it


Posted By: Diane (35)
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 5:22pm
Originally posted by trudawg trudawg wrote:

Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

Originally posted by trudawg trudawg wrote:

LoL, @ all the Na's.

When I met my last g/f, I was barely scratching 40k a year while she was used to a six figure lifestyle. Six years, and two degrees later, I'm well over 100k year and will be near 200K if all goes as planned.  You cannot be so short-sided in life to let current earnings preclude potential.


Lol so this shows her to move on because that's your EX. NOT your current and you've said you haven't been ready to settle down until recently.



Our r/s woes were not financially related. Many wondered how I could leave such a beautiful wealthy woman, but it just goes to show, its' not about the money. It's about whether that person makes you happy or not.
I have been dating, and honestly, there just doesn't seem to be very many available women on my level. Seems like chicks are either drop dead gorgeous w/ extremely limited potential, or homely with great achievements and aspirations, lol. My queen is waiting for me somewhere though.

So why dont you wait (6 years or so) on the gorgeous ones to step it up in the potential department or the homely ones to get fly?Confused Please dont be so short-sighted tru




Posted By: zolloh
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 5:24pm
Thread getting interesting


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 5:24pm
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

but this dude is still in the starting block waiting for the gun to go off

his race hasnt even started


and thats a no no
Guuurl!LampLOL




Posted By: eanaj5
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 5:30pm
*pulls up a churrr*
Beer


Posted By: trudawg
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 5:32pm
Originally posted by Diane (35) Diane (35) wrote:

Originally posted by trudawg trudawg wrote:

Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

Originally posted by trudawg trudawg wrote:

LoL, @ all the Na's.

When I met my last g/f, I was barely scratching 40k a year while she was used to a six figure lifestyle. Six years, and two degrees later, I'm well over 100k year and will be near 200K if all goes as planned.  You cannot be so short-sided in life to let current earnings preclude potential.


Lol so this shows her to move on because that's your EX. NOT your current and you've said you haven't been ready to settle down until recently.



Our r/s woes were not financially related. Many wondered how I could leave such a beautiful wealthy woman, but it just goes to show, its' not about the money. It's about whether that person makes you happy or not.
I have been dating, and honestly, there just doesn't seem to be very many available women on my level. Seems like chicks are either drop dead gorgeous w/ extremely limited potential, or homely with great achievements and aspirations, lol. My queen is waiting for me somewhere though.

So why dont you wait (6 years or so) on the gorgeous ones to step it up in the potential department or the homely ones to get fly?Confused Please dont be so short-sighted tru




I said with potential, don't get it twisted. A drop dead gorgeous chick in her mid to late thirties working as a CNA with ZERO desire to go anywhere else does not qualify as someone with potential professional aspirations in my opinion.LOL


Posted By: YoursTruly
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 5:35pm
Originally posted by carolina cutie carolina cutie wrote:

Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

but this dude is still in the starting block waiting for the gun to go off

his race hasnt even started


and thats a no no
Guuurl!LampLOL




Bwaaahaaaaa!!LOLLOLLOLLOLLOL


Posted By: YoursTruly
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 5:37pm
I just don't think I could do it....I mean, I wish my friend well and all since it seems like she really is gonna work on dude, but I just couldn't. I don't have time for no fixer-uppers at this point in life. Unless that fixer-upper is an actual house that I'm about to invest in, then naw bruh I'm good.


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 5:38pm
Originally posted by carolina cutie carolina cutie wrote:

Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

but this dude is still in the starting block waiting for the gun to go off

his race hasnt even started


and thats a no no
Guuurl!LampLOL




Posted By: herwoman
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 5:39pm
you so stoopit


Posted By: NJHairLuv
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 5:45pm
...guys like Tru typically wont get married til 50 or when they start losing their hair (whichever comes sooner) so the truth is that he isnt in  rush and aint patiently waiting for anyone's growthLOL


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 5:46pm
Lol I need that gif


Eh I don't believe you can't find attractive women who are also accomplished. I've seen your avi pics


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 5:51pm
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

Originally posted by carolina cutie carolina cutie wrote:

Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

but this dude is still in the starting block waiting for the gun to go off

his race hasnt even started


and thats a no no
Guuurl!LampLOL



mmhmmm


LOL


Posted By: herwoman
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 5:51pm
Trudawg is just a dawg, left that woman after six years cause she "boring" smh.She learned how to be boring waiting on you.Good grief


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 5:54pm
Men aint sh*t lol


Posted By: trudawg
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 5:55pm



They gotta have pretty feet too though!LOL


Posted By: NJHairLuv
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 6:01pm
Originally posted by herwoman herwoman wrote:

Trudawg is just a dawg, left that woman after six years cause she "boring" smh.She learned how to be boring waiting on you.Good grief

word. bhm never forgets. i remember when he moved in with her while he was in school to 'lighten his load'. bhm is a case study on how ish really goes down versus what cutestuff comes out of their mouth.LOL


Posted By: trudawg
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 6:02pm
Originally posted by NJHairLuv NJHairLuv wrote:

Originally posted by herwoman herwoman wrote:

Trudawg is just a dawg, left that woman after six years cause she "boring" smh.She learned how to be boring waiting on you.Good grief

word. bhm never forgets. i remember when he moved in with her while he was in school to 'lighten his load'. bhm is a case study on how ish really goes down versus what cutestuff comes out of their mouth.LOL


That sh*t lasted a whole five months! Folks true colors come out when you're closest to themOuch


Posted By: herwoman
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 6:05pm
What true colors Trudawg? Was she "crazy?" Please you bought some new sneakers and started feeling yourself. Why have money if you can't make it rain with your dawgs? I see you


Posted By: smaison
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 6:06pm
oh hell naw.


Posted By: mrshairdo
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 6:12pm
i got a late start in life...I wasn't sure what I wanted to do and i wasn't there mature wise to finish undergrad

I came back to school to finish my undergrad at 25....and I'll probs be done law school by 33-34.. and honestly i would love to meet someone right now just like me because I wouldn't feel worthy being with someone working 9-5 making shiitloads of money when I'm just a broke university student..i mean, i know guys are ''supposed'' to take care of girls but my mom never raised me like that

As long as u got ambition, drive, determination and you're applying yourself then I don't see the problem. 


Posted By: trudawg
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 6:14pm
Well said mrshairdo! It's never too late. Good luck on your LS aspirations, study hard as hell, kill that LSAT and get scholarship money. Unfortunately, the debtload of LS is making it less and less worth it these days.


Posted By: mrshairdo
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 6:17pm
^thanks....forgot to mention tho that while I was out of school I was working full time and living on my own LOL

Some days I get scared about LS debt...I plan on being the next Olivia Pope so i mean in my head I feel like i won't have to worry about the debt LOL


Posted By: trudawg
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 6:23pm
Originally posted by mrshairdo mrshairdo wrote:

^thanks....forgot to mention tho that while I was out of school I was working full time and living on my own LOL

Some days I get scared about LS debt...I plan on being the next Olivia Pope so i mean in my head I feel like i won't have to worry about the debt LOL


We all felt like that, unfortunately, greedy ass law schools prey on that mentality. I think having prior professional work experience will separate you from the pack. I feel sorry for the early 20-somethings with over 200k in loans that have never really held down a job before once the sticker shock of  their options hits them. I worked full-time the majority of LS and paid a significant portion of my tuition out-of-pocket so I wasn't in the same boat as some of my classmates.


Posted By: mrshairdo
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 6:26pm
Originally posted by trudawg trudawg wrote:

Originally posted by mrshairdo mrshairdo wrote:

^thanks....forgot to mention tho that while I was out of school I was working full time and living on my own LOL

Some days I get scared about LS debt...I plan on being the next Olivia Pope so i mean in my head I feel like i won't have to worry about the debt LOL


We all felt like that, unfortunately, greedy ass law schools prey on that mentality. I think having prior professional work experience will separate you from the pack. I feel sorry for the early 20-somethings with over 200k in loans that have never really held down a job before once the sticker shock of  their options hits them. I worked full-time the majority of LS and paid a significant portion of my tuition out-of-pocket so I wasn't in the same boat as some of my classmates.

i feel the exact same way....these kids in college just don't have a clue...even now i see how sensitive they are and i'm like do u think anyone in the real workforce gives a if the tone of their comment affected u? lol...they are in for a shock..i feel like this generation of kids have been coddled like none other

that aside i've always kept a job too, even in school. This is the first year i haven't. Last year I worked on residence and got to live for free...but I'm about to get a part time call center job just now


Posted By: trudawg
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 6:29pm
Originally posted by mrshairdo mrshairdo wrote:


i feel the exact same way....these kids in college just don't have a clue...even now i see how sensitive they are and i'm like do u think anyone in the real workforce gives a if the tone of their comment affected u? lol...they are in for a shock..i feel like this generation of kids have been coddled like none other

IKR! I remember some chick crying because she got a C on her exam, I'm like Bish my lights just got cut off!LOL


Posted By: mrshairdo
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 6:37pm
Originally posted by trudawg trudawg wrote:

Originally posted by mrshairdo mrshairdo wrote:


i feel the exact same way....these kids in college just don't have a clue...even now i see how sensitive they are and i'm like do u think anyone in the real workforce gives a if the tone of their comment affected u? lol...they are in for a shock..i feel like this generation of kids have been coddled like none other

IKR! I remember some chick crying because she got a C on her exam, I'm like Bish my lights just got cut off!LOL

smh...they are too much, I get so annoyed with university students when I'm around them. they are childish as fucc and are wayyy too sensitive


Posted By: ppp38
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 6:39pm
Originally posted by mrshairdo mrshairdo wrote:

^thanks....forgot to mention tho that while I was out of school I was working full time and living on my own LOL

Some days I get scared about LS debt...I plan on being the next Olivia Pope so i mean in my head I feel like i won't have to worry about the debt LOL

The market for lawyers is over saturated, unless you are going to a top 14 school or aren't in a major market (LA, NY, CHI, DC, etc..) times will be tough. 

You probably will be paying off the debt until you are in your 40's but if you really love the law and aren't just looking at it as an easy paycheck then you should be ok. 


Posted By: mrshairdo
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 6:47pm
Originally posted by ppp38 ppp38 wrote:

Originally posted by mrshairdo mrshairdo wrote:

^thanks....forgot to mention tho that while I was out of school I was working full time and living on my own LOL

Some days I get scared about LS debt...I plan on being the next Olivia Pope so i mean in my head I feel like i won't have to worry about the debt LOL

The market for lawyers is over saturated, unless you are going to a top 14 school or aren't in a major market (LA, NY, CHI, DC, etc..) times will be tough. 

You probably will be paying off the debt until you are in your 40's but if you really love the law and aren't just looking at it as an easy paycheck then you should be ok. 

the school i want is a top 14...i do wanna work in DC tho lol.

I do love the law but lemme answer that question again after first year law school lol


Posted By: trudawg
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 6:48pm
You can answer it after your first semester. If you're not crushing it, and/or on scholarship, traditional logic is to drop out :=(


Posted By: SoutherNtellect
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 6:48pm
nobody works because they love it


Posted By: OoDles O
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 6:53pm
Originally posted by BBpants BBpants wrote:

Men aint sh*t lol




Posted By: keepgrowing
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 6:59pm
i'll wait....white dating other people. if i meet someone before then o well.


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Jan 25 2014 at 6:59pm
Originally posted by SoutherNtellect SoutherNtellect wrote:

nobody works because they love it


Lol you sound like Samone.

I do know lawyers who love their jobs



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