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Running background checks on ppl you date?

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Printed Date: Aug 16 2018 at 8:36pm


Topic: Running background checks on ppl you date?
Posted By: mangachan
Subject: Running background checks on ppl you date?
Date Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 10:41pm
I know there have been threads about this before but I don't feel like looking for them...how do people feel about this.  Is it something you have done?  Did it change your perception of the person or influence your decision as to whether or not to continue a relationship.  Did you actually find anything questionable and if so did you just ignore it? 

I was talking to someone about this and on one hand, it seems like a good idea cause people be crazy these days; on the other side, what good does it really do?



Replies:
Posted By: Blac1Chyna
Date Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 10:41pm
It's 2014. You better use the technology you got to find out any information you can. The life you save might be your own. My friend didn't do that and ended up dating a convicted child molester for almost 4 months #truestory


Posted By: mangachan
Date Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 10:46pm
Originally posted by Blac1Chyna Blac1Chyna wrote:

It's 2014. You better use the technology you got to find out any information you can. The life you save might be your own. My friend didn't do that and ended up dating a convicted child molester for almost 4 months #truestory



ShockedDeadCry


Posted By: Blac1Chyna
Date Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 10:47pm
I felt bad for her but how you go 4 months without doing any type of check on dude? You put his name in the system and his arrest records will pop right up. She should have did that as soon as she got his first and last name


Posted By: niecy
Date Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 10:48pm
I don't see a problem with it. It can possibly help you avoid a no good situation.


Posted By: browneyez4548
Date Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 10:49pm
I'm for it.


Posted By: IslandSuga
Date Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 10:53pm
I did it after I dated someone and found out he had a domestic violence charge. Looks like I dodged a bullet. I'll definitely be doing it from now on though


Posted By: Princess Grace
Date Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 10:54pm
I did it before I got married, I don;t have time to be marrying folks with records of diddling kids. You can never be too careful, hell he might have a history of punching women in they eye. Ouch


Posted By: Mixer
Date Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 10:55pm
I'm going to tell my next girlfriend a fake first and last name.


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 10:55pm


This should be a must.




Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 11:01pm
I would advise any single to check . I saw a follow up story about a young man missing for 10 days after meeting a girl on a dating service . The young man went on 2 dates with her . Today his body was found in a burn out house . She set the man up for his nice car and money . Ouch


Posted By: Mixer
Date Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 11:02pm
That's sad and shocking.


Posted By: harley_quinn
Date Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 11:04pm
Yup I always do my research


Posted By: mangachan
Date Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 11:12pm
Where are people running bckgnd checks?  There's the sex offender registry, state offender search portal, I've heard of intelius.com...any other good places?


Posted By: zolloh
Date Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 11:16pm
Originally posted by mangachan mangachan wrote:

Where are people running bckgnd checks?  There's the sex offender registry, state offender search portal, I've heard of intelius.com...any other good places?
your county assessor records for tax liens, marriages, divorces, judgements etc


Posted By: Katrenia
Date Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 11:25pm
Some people do full background checks, including credit checks before marriage. I understand this because I have a co worker whose new husband had delinquent child support and once she married him, her tax return went to pay his back child support.
Even after they divorced, her tax refund was still being confiscated for his child support. This woman had to hire an attorney to get a court order to stop the action.


Posted By: browneyez4548
Date Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 11:42pm
Found out this guy I was dating was married by doing a background check. I didn't even check him on purpose LOL I was bored at work one day  (was working the graveyard shift) and started looking up ticket citations online....I was looking up everyone I knew in the county...again, I was bored LOL then for some reason I decided to look up court records on the same folks that I was checking citations on.....found a marriage certificate on dude.

Been googling dates ever since...


Posted By: dijah.love
Date Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 11:45pm
I've never done a full blown "background check," but I always do a thorough Google Search, Pipl search, and social media search


Posted By: browneyez4548
Date Posted: Jan 23 2014 at 11:50pm
Oh, and buddy denied it to the very end LOL

Me: So you're married?
Him: Huh?
Me: Stop it.
Him: what are you talking about?????
Me: Really dude?
Him: More denying

This was back in 2007...I still see him from time to time, since he owns a store in  a shopping center that I still frequent. Still denies it. If I didn't know any better, I would think I was mistaken LOL But I know it was def his marriage certificate I found based on the fact that a. His name isn't that common B. What's the likelihood of someone having the same unique name, place of birth, AND dob?? Ermm


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 12:17am
Originally posted by india100 india100 wrote:

I would advise any single to check . I saw a follow up story about a young man missing for 10 days after meeting a girl on a dating service . The young man went on 2 dates with her . Today his body was found in a burn out house . She set the man up for his nice car and money . Ouch

None of this would have came up in a check tho....


Posted By: Mz. Mocha
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 12:28am
I did it in the past. Its really easy to find out almost anything about someone. I found a marriage certificate on one ex. Child support docs and a bunch of tickets on another. Liens too LOL


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 12:40am
^^^Shocked

dang!


Posted By: Mz. Mocha
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 12:48am
Yes, some of these guys have no shame. They will lie about anything. Lie about having no kids when a car seat is in the back. 


Posted By: mangachan
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 12:49am
I running all kinds of searches…I'm not finding anything…don't know if that's good or bad LOL


Posted By: Mixer
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 12:50am
Maybe he covered his tracks well. I want to learn from him then.


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 12:55am
Originally posted by Mz. Mocha Mz. Mocha wrote:

Yes, some of these guys have no shame. They will lie about anything. Lie about having no kids when a car seat is in the back. 

this is truth


Posted By: mangachan
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 12:58am
At this point I'm trying to find something...anything.  I don't wanna be "that chick" somebody stop me Cry


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 1:02am


be that chick...better safe than sorry


Posted By: Sang Froid
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 1:02am
I don't need to do that. 
What does a clean record mean?
Nothing.


Posted By: Missvw
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 3:04am
Originally posted by Blac1Chyna Blac1Chyna wrote:

It's 2014. You better use the technology you got to find out any information you can. The life you save might be your own. My friend didn't do that and ended up dating a convicted child molester for almost 4 months #truestory
 Shocked


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 5:28am
If I'm ever single again I will do it 100%. I can't even cheat because I don't trust anyone!!   


Posted By: pebbles251
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 6:56am
I do background check on everyone even GF.
I have only found one guy lied to me..said he was 42 when he is 47. That kneegro said he lied because he thought I was 34 and that everyone lie about their age. It was a small lie but big enough for me to not see him again.


Posted By: eanaj5
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 7:01am
i just spent the last hour and a half doing criminal record checks on everyone i know
found some interesting sh*t too..
Stern Smile


Posted By: juicifruit89
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 7:22am
As soon as I got his name, I searched for him on the Internet...saw that he had a kid and it was over before it started.


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 7:54am
I gotta snoop and do background checks? Life is hard out here for us single folks OuchLOL


Posted By: Senior Detective
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 8:07am
Originally posted by pebbles251 pebbles251 wrote:

I do background check on everyone even GF.
I have only found one guy lied to me..said he was 42 when he is 47. That kneegro said he lied because he thought I was 34 and that everyone lie about their age. It was a small lie but big enough for me to not see him again.
good, cuz I'm very strict with the age. I don't do younger at all. I had someone lie just to get with me. Eeeww


Posted By: Katrenia
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 8:09am
Originally posted by eanaj5 eanaj5 wrote:

i just spent the last hour and a half doing criminal record checks on everyone i know
found some interesting sh*t too..
Stern Smile

My daughter loves checking everyone we know, me included.
She told me last week, "Mom. Pay those tickets to the dog pound before they lock you up" LOL

I had forgotten about those no leash tickets, I will be paying those because I'd hate to be locked up in a "dog pound"


Posted By: HeyBeautiful18
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 8:19am
I've never done it but I would for the next guys that I date


Posted By: HeyBeautiful18
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 8:20am
Where do you go online to do this?



Posted By: mangachan
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 8:38am
Originally posted by HeyBeautiful18 HeyBeautiful18 wrote:

Where do you go online to do this?



You can make sure they aren't on the sex offender registry for your state.  Sex offender HAVE to register.  There is no way I would consider dating anyone on there so that's the first one to knock out. lol

The next would check the offender registry for your state.  They also post the public arrest record for each county.  You can then google the person and see what comes up.  I googled a co-worker at work and saw her mug shot (she was looking at it with me (lol).  I google myself every now and then because.  The background websites pretty much all have fees and the accuracy on them may be debatable.


Posted By: HeyBeautiful18
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 8:49am
Thanks! all these websites I'm coming across wanna charge you to see more info. Fck that


Posted By: Jewels212*
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 10:08am
can yall help me run a background check on some1? I always run it on ppl i date but this one i cant find NADA on! He claims he's divorced but I need to double check and find out more. What are sum sites??


Posted By: Ming
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 10:21am
I'm gonna be more consistent with it. I dated a guy who ALWAYS picked me up in a different car. It was always silver and im not a car person but I knew it was different and expensive* I called him Avis

A cab hit his car and he went off... chasing him down then pulled a gun. btch told me he's on *parole, he robbed a bank. Nope!

Blocked!


Posted By: Ds2nice
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 10:27am
A few years ago (pre-hubby), I went on a couple of dates with a guy I had met at a car dealership.  On the dates, he had insisted to pick me up right after he leaves work.   He refused to go home to freshin up before going on the dates.   During the dates, he only used cash to pay for meals, drinks, and entertainment.  Never used a credit card.    I had volunteered to pick him up at his house, he gave me a BS excuse that his parents are staying with him temporarily. 
 
So I didn't feel right about him and I wanted to really know the truth.  So I looked him up.  I did a small background check and found out he's married.   I'm so happy that I didn't allow him to get anywhere close to the draws. 
 
Ladies- please do a background check before sleeping with anyone.  Wolves in sheep clothing will never volunteer information.


Posted By: Ds2nice
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 10:30am
Originally posted by Jewels212* Jewels212* wrote:

can yall help me run a background check on some1? I always run it on ppl i date but this one i cant find NADA on! He claims he's divorced but I need to double check and find out more. What are sum sites??
 
Wow, he must be good.  There are ways to block websites/companies from providing personal information about you.  He probably found a way to do this.  I'm no longer good at this.  Hopefully someone can chime in on how to get through this barrier.


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 10:36am
Sometimes I do random background checks on my fb "friends"Stern Smile. I check the court records and the sex registry. Domestic violence charges, messing with underage girls, child support cases etc are some of the things that I have found.


Posted By: Jewels212*
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 10:40am
Originally posted by Ds2nice Ds2nice wrote:

Originally posted by Jewels212* Jewels212* wrote:

can yall help me run a background check on some1? I always run it on ppl i date but this one i cant find NADA on! He claims he's divorced but I need to double check and find out more. What are sum sites??
 
Wow, he must be good.  There are ways to block websites/companies from providing personal information about you.  He probably found a way to do this.  I'm no longer good at this.  Hopefully someone can chime in on how to get through this barrier.

I know thats whats scaring me though. He works as an accountant for a big company. His job paid for his phone and internet usage so we talk through messaging/email and will call through google bc he doesn't have an actual phone #. All i have to work with is his email address.....

eta: I thought I could possibly be the side chick but now he wants to move in together. i prolly sound naive at this point but he spoils the hell out of me lol 


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 10:40am
Originally posted by Jewels212* Jewels212* wrote:

Originally posted by Ds2nice Ds2nice wrote:

Originally posted by Jewels212* Jewels212* wrote:

can yall help me run a background check on some1? I always run it on ppl i date but this one i cant find NADA on! He claims he's divorced but I need to double check and find out more. What are sum sites??
 
Wow, he must be good.  There are ways to block websites/companies from providing personal information about you.  He probably found a way to do this.  I'm no longer good at this.  Hopefully someone can chime in on how to get through this barrier.

I know thats whats scaring me though. He works as an accountant for a big company. His job paid for his phone and internet usage so we talk through messaging/email and will call through google bc he doesn't have an actual phone #. All i have to work with is his email address.....


Red Flags!


Posted By: BrownQtee
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 10:44am
Originally posted by Jewels212* Jewels212* wrote:

Originally posted by Ds2nice Ds2nice wrote:

Originally posted by Jewels212* Jewels212* wrote:

can yall help me run a background check on some1? I always run it on ppl i date but this one i cant find NADA on! He claims he's divorced but I need to double check and find out more. What are sum sites??
 
Wow, he must be good.  There are ways to block websites/companies from providing personal information about you.  He probably found a way to do this.  I'm no longer good at this.  Hopefully someone can chime in on how to get through this barrier.

I know thats whats scaring me though. He works as an accountant for a big company. His job paid for his phone and internet usage so we talk through messaging/email and will call through google bc he doesn't have an actual phone #. All i have to work with is his email address.....

eta: I thought I could possibly be the side chick but now he wants to move in together. i prolly sound naive at this point but he spoils the hell out of me lol 
Stern Smile
 
Chile run. Run fast. That is some bullsh*t.


Posted By: Jewels212*
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 10:45am
LOL This is why i post on bhm to snap me back to reality


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 10:46am
Girl it ain't hard for niccas to live a double life these days. He sounds shady. But I could be wrong.


Posted By: Jewels212*
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 10:50am
Originally posted by petiteone29 petiteone29 wrote:

Girl it ain't hard for niccas to live a double life these days. He sounds shady. But I could be wrong.

I know what you mean.  I get skeptical over anything but for some reason Im giving him the benefit of the doubt. He seems like a genuine guy but that whole sh*t urks me.


Posted By: Brjasuga51
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 10:52am
Originally posted by Jewels212* Jewels212* wrote:

LOL This is why i post on bhm to snap me back to reality
EVEN A 4 YEAR OLD HAS A PHONE NOWADAYS.....RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN


Posted By: Jewels212*
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 10:52am
Any1 ever paid for spokeo or intellius? Do you actually get results from it?


Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 10:54am
i dont really have a problem with a record kir

eta, well... it depends. i dont want him to be unable to get a good job 



Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 11:49am
Just because his company pays for the phone doesn't mean he can't use it or that you can't have the number


Posted By: mangachan
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 12:07pm
Originally posted by Ming Ming wrote:

I'm gonna be more consistent with it. I dated a guy who ALWAYS picked me up in a different car. It was always silver and im not a car person but I knew it was different and expensive* I called him Avis

A cab hit his car and he went off... chasing him down then pulled a gun. btch told me he's on *parole, he robbed a bank. Nope!

Blocked!



Wow Shocked


I repeat for the people in the back...anyone looking for criminal records...check your state AND you county offender records.  Check the list of any place you THINK they may have ever been.  You can even check outstanding warrants to some extent I believe. I'm not an expert at this (hence making this thread).  But start there to kock out the "obvious" things.


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 12:28pm
Originally posted by Jewels212* Jewels212* wrote:

Originally posted by Ds2nice Ds2nice wrote:

Originally posted by Jewels212* Jewels212* wrote:

can yall help me run a background check on some1? I always run it on ppl i date but this one i cant find NADA on! He claims he's divorced but I need to double check and find out more. What are sum sites??
 
Wow, he must be good.  There are ways to block websites/companies from providing personal information about you.  He probably found a way to do this.  I'm no longer good at this.  Hopefully someone can chime in on how to get through this barrier.

I know thats whats scaring me though. He works as an accountant for a big company. His job paid for his phone and internet usage so we talk through messaging/email and will call through google bc he doesn't have an actual phone #. All i have to work with is his email address.....

eta: I thought I could possibly be the side chick but now he wants to move in together. i prolly sound naive at this point but he spoils the hell out of me lol 


By company he means his wife......dont fall for that move in shyt.....ask JustMe.....


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 3:42pm
not a bad idea.


anybody ever get upset about being background-checked?




Posted By: trudawg
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 3:46pm
I've ran a few bishes through Lexis Nexis before engaging. LOL


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 3:47pm
@212 Be careful with that one. He doesn't sound right lol


Posted By: Ming
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 3:48pm
I miss lexis nexis.. all up in people's business


Posted By: Ming
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 3:50pm
google num? lol its linked to your other num.


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 3:55pm
Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

not a bad idea.


anybody ever get upset about being background-checked?



nope i have nothing to hide.

plus i would be glad he's concerned about the substance of the woman he is dating, and not just because "she gotta phat booty" or "she got big breasts"


Posted By: BaileyAlexandria
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 3:59pm
I googled a guy after our first date and found out he was in the biggest most dangerous drug gang in Wi, and was tied to a girl who had been missing for 2 years. needless to say, I'm all about my google.


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 4:03pm
Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

not a bad idea.


anybody ever get upset about being background-checked?


does an ex looking into your current status count?


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 4:46pm
We're talking about Google and info in public domain here. But I think a real paid background check might upset some. At least some I know lol.



Posted By: bindy
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 4:51pm
Originally posted by Ming Ming wrote:

I miss lexis nexis.. all up in people's business

What information does lexis  nexis give?


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 4:51pm
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

not a bad idea.


anybody ever get upset about being background-checked?


does an ex looking into your current status count?


No but explain. Lol


Posted By: Printer_Ink
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 6:40pm
Originally posted by Jewels212* Jewels212* wrote:

Originally posted by Ds2nice Ds2nice wrote:

Originally posted by Jewels212* Jewels212* wrote:

can yall help me run a background check on some1? I always run it on ppl i date but this one i cant find NADA on! He claims he's divorced but I need to double check and find out more. What are sum sites??

 
Wow, he must be good.  There are ways to block websites/companies from providing personal information about you.  He probably found a way to do this.  I'm no longer good at this.  Hopefully someone can chime in on how to get through this barrier.


I know thats whats scaring me though. He works as an accountant for a big company. His job paid for his phone and internet usage so we talk through messaging/email and will call through google bc he doesn't have an actual phone #. All i have to work with is his email address.....

eta: I thought I could possibly be the side chick but now he wants to move in together. i prolly sound naive at this point but he spoils the hell out of me lol 



Sorry already there are too many Red flags:

-     My mobile phone, car and internet are paid for by my company too .. so I have real phone that people can call whenever they want! Only having an email address as contact data THESE DAYS is highly suspect in my book.

-     He spoils you like heck? How long have you known him? Lots of losers basically target needy women and tell them what they want to hear and do the things she wants - reels her in - fast. Within a couple of months he is like a fixture in her life … so he is getting ready for a payoff. But regular guys take their time to see what kind of girl YOU ARE before they start spoiling you like heck. Watch out.

-     He wants you to live together? Really? Again how long have you known him? It usually takes several years of knowing a guy in a relationship – knowing where he lives and works, his family, friends, co-workers etc. to decide IT’S LOVE and you want to get married. That living together crap is just the woman auditioning for the role of wife.

Give it a few years - that way .. you can see ‘who he is’ yourself and who he is reflected in the faces of friends and family and in their interaction with him. If you don’t know all these people in his life for a number of years .. something ain't right. Maybe you know them but they are in and out of jail/work, living in odd places, always needing money, have that hostile angry thing staring at you . This tells you … what kind of guy you are dealing with. They know his dirt.

-     There is probably other stuff that you are not telling us about that also doesn’t sound right.

In my experience … when everything is a big rush and weird things .. like no contact info is available and he wants to hurry and live together .. that tells me to back off.

Watch yourself!


Posted By: Jewels212*
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 9:50pm
pm'd ya...I might just stick with American men bc these foreign dudes be changing their names once they come out here.....


Posted By: nemesis1
Date Posted: Jan 24 2014 at 10:33pm
I would not hesitate.



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