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Did Your Mom Give Your Hair a Chance?

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Printed Date: Jun 21 2018 at 9:23pm


Topic: Did Your Mom Give Your Hair a Chance?
Posted By: Senior Detective
Subject: Did Your Mom Give Your Hair a Chance?
Date Posted: Jan 12 2014 at 11:51pm
I saw this video posted & she talks about little girls never really had a preference with hair because they were permed so young.  So how can u prefer one over the other if you've only known one thing?

You don't have to watch the whole thing but 3 or 5 mins will give u the gist of it.  Click the link & read the comments.  very interesting    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cicjPdujxbw" rel="nofollow - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cicjPdujxbw





Replies:
Posted By: eanaj5
Date Posted: Jan 12 2014 at 11:55pm
yeah she did but when i was about 9 or 10 i wanted my hair to be straight like the white girls on tv and at the time JFM perms were advertised all the time so i convinced mom to relax my hair...i wish i'd have never done that, i cant get off the creamy crack Unhappy


Posted By: danieb23
Date Posted: Jan 12 2014 at 11:58pm
Yup. I used to beg my mother for a perm but she told me never in hell as long as I lived with her. She said my hair was way too soft and it would fall out.

To this day I thank her for that. I've learned to love and appreciate my own hair, and now it's super thick and alllllmooostt waist length.


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 12:00am
Yea...She didn't really want me to relax my hair but I begged her to perm my hair. I was sick of the hot comb! She kept burning me by accident with it lol

My mom took care of my hair tho. I always had edges and my hair was long. It wasn't until I started to take care of it myself and dye it, it turned to go bad lol


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 12:01am
My granny relaxed mines at 8.....shes a push over tho....she let us do whatever....after that she kept texlaxing but she stretched it for several months....


Posted By: Bored w/Out Me?
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 12:05am
Yes my Mom did but following society didn't...


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 12:19am
no she didn't.  She never did my hair bc I was nappy and tender headed.  Family members would do it but complain the whole time.  They relaxed me at like 9 but didn't keep up w it so it broke off and I stayed braided until high school...by then I had a lot of growth but didn't know how to manage it so I kept relaxing. So yeah, no chance to flourish.


Posted By: Allure.
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 12:23am
Yep, and i begged for a perm all through middle school, never got it. Instead she found an amazing hair stylist that knew how to grow and take care of my natural hair and also press my hair so straight it looked like a fresh perm, baby hair and all lol! I never begged for a chemical ever again. Now my hair is Mid back length, and very healthy. I still get my hair pressed from time to time but i prefer my natural texture


Posted By: AmiliaCabral
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 12:31am
I never had relaxed hair but I've had dreds since I was 4. My mom is a hairstylist so my hair always looked good but people hated it. Strangers would try and tell her she was wrong but ma is straight g so them convos never lasted long.


Posted By: Girl101
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 12:58am
I begged for a relaxer at 13. My mom had me walking around with that one braid in the middle or two big braids lol. When I got it relaxed I could finally have straight hair without it proofing up. I'm natural again now but sometimes I still miss the creamy crack.


Posted By: Limalady
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 1:02am
Relaxed at 2. It is what it is. No relaxer now though. Been natural for 7-8 years.


Posted By: Nisha
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 1:04am
Yes. I was natural until age 22.
 
I learned how to braid at age 5 & by age 10 I was doing my own hair plus my aunts and cousins.


Posted By: mrshairdo
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 1:07am
Originally posted by Limalady Limalady wrote:

Relaxed at 2. It is what it is. No relaxer now though. Been natural for 7-8 years.

jesus...


Posted By: Sang Froid
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 1:36am
I was relaxed at 9.
I was happy because all my friends were too. 
I thought it was like a grown up thing.



Posted By: chinadoll77
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 1:41am
I had everything from a curly perm to a relaxer..Went natural three years ago because of my daughter...


Posted By: TokyoRose
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 1:46am
I was relaxed at 5 years old.  My mom just didn't want to deal with it.  She sent me to a hair dresser who constantly burned my scalp.  To save money, my mom had me doing my own relaxers at the age of 12.  I was putting them in once a month.  My hair wouldn't make it past my ears.


Posted By: Up&Out39
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 2:03am
Nah. Relaxed at 3. My mom used the excuse that my hair was too tough to work with and I always cried. Of course ima cry if you're pulling and combing my hair and im tender headed. But I know the real reason why I was relaxed so early and was made to do it Ermm it is what it is though...


I grew up and took control of my own life a few years ago. Did a BC without telling no one. Been natural for 1.5 years now.


Posted By: newdiva1
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 2:09am
Did Your Mom Give Your Hair a Chance?



no.  I got my first perm in elementary school.  then she tried to put a curl on top of my perm (didn't tell the stylist until after)  all my hair came out.  I barely spoke to her for weeks.  I'm already black and now I gotta be the dark girl and no hair? Walking around looking rusty for weeks while it came out in patches.  Teased erryday all day. i cried for the longest time behind that incident.


Posted By: tatee
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 5:38am
its really not that much greater on the other side if its not coming from a good place.  my family didnt relaxed their hair and my mother loved my hair and taught me my hair was beautiful and others always complimented me on my hair because they said i had "pretty hair" but they also taught me that their was a sliding scale on that beauty.  my family never had color issues but we certainly had hair issues but so did every black person around us.  it wasnt hair is hair and all hair types are beautiful.  it was here is black people's hair and this is what makes you different or better.  of course it wasnt true but we believed it, i believed it.  if you dont carefully examine every single thing you were taught even your love turn sour and spoil.


Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 5:57am
Hell naw. That woman permed and tore my hair up, smh.


Posted By: _ConcreteRose_
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 6:05am
Yeah, my mom was relaxed for most of her life until she cut all of her hair off. But she never not once allowed me to get one. It doesn't have much to do with a beauty standards or self love but she thought that my hair would just fall out with a relaxer. My hair was much more sensitive than hers was.


Posted By: Ming
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 6:54am
Yes... my hair was ALWAYS braided. Relaxed at 12 and she was on it, conditioner, aphogee, eggs, mayo, heating cap, etc. ... then she stopped and my hair started to break.

I asked for braids again and had them until at least 15/16. I only relaxed every few months cause I had braids and it'd be too hot for straight hair. I used to braid it up until a few years ago for the summer cause I cant take the heat. My scalp is reaaaaaally tender and the relaxed helped.


Posted By: Longhairwanted8
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 7:25am
Yep. I had to sneak and get one at the age of 16. Even then, I didn't relax again until I was 18. I thankher for it because my hair is incredibly thick. I'm still relaxed though


Posted By: newdiva1
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 7:30am

one thing I did learn is that i'm allergic to perms.  my head would sting and burn within 5 minutes of starting the process.  Stylists would fuss at me at how i'm so tenderheaded.  fucc u want me to do?  sh*t hurt.



Posted By: liesnalibis
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 7:33am
I don't remember ever not being relaxed as a child.


Posted By: K_Camille
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 7:35am
No.  My mom sucks at doing hair, and didn't care to learn.  She'd comb my hair DRY and complain, even get mad, because it was so nappy.  I was like 6, I didn't understand how that was my fault.  I don't remember how old I was when I got my first relaxer. Maybe 4-5-ish.  Hair is serious business.


Posted By: Fcgriffin
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 7:40am
Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

no she didn't.  She never did my hair bc I was nappy and tender headed.  Family members would do it but complain the whole time.  They relaxed me at like 9 but didn't keep up w it so it broke off and I stayed braided until high school...by then I had a lot of growth but didn't know how to manage it so I kept relaxing. So yeah, no chance to flourish.
Sounds like my mom. She would go months and months without touching up so my hair was always breaking off.  She also dyed my hair starting as young as 7 or 8 because she liked the color it changed to in the summer.  I know now that the color was extreme heat damage. Cry


Posted By: GoodGirlGoneGr8
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 8:26am
Yes! My mother put my hair in these tinnnyyyyy twists and would leave them in for months at a time.

She'd take them out, wash, and redo them. My hair grew like crazy...I wish I could find a pic.

After years of that style, I got a relaxer for 3rd grade picture day...my hair was MBL.

I don't regret getting a relaxer, I just regret not knowing how to properly apply it.


Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 8:53am
yea.. i was given a perm and jerri curl at a young ageOuch


Posted By: sugabanana
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 8:54am
I had the pepermint braids, threading(african style),pigtails, hot comb for a very longtime then we wanted to get fancy and the new craze was jerry curls. I had that from 3rd grade to 7th grade, then braids then relaxers. All hayell broke loose when I started with weaves in high school. My hair grew pretty long with those Dominican wash and sets but it was thin.  I didn't know the difference between shedding and breaking at the time. Thank goodness for BHM and other hair boards.


Posted By: whitrhymes
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 9:43am
She did, I begged and begged her for a relaxer. All I wanted was a bouncy ponytail.  She wouldn't let me get one until I was in middle school. I don't think I would have minded not having relaxed hair, but my mom still had me in braids and hairballs Confused. Maybe if we'd known about all the other styling options, I would have stayed natural. 


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 10:17am
Yes, she did. My mom would use Henna on our hair, not sure if to keep the color dark or if to keep it soft. I hated the process because it was so annoying to have a plastic bag on my head for an hour or so, but as far as I remember, she didn't do it often.

When we were old enough to make our decisions (teens), the Henna-event ended, and my sister started to damage her hair because she would dye it different colors in a span of years, and then she just quit caring for it. Now her hair looks like sh!t, her curls are very small but the top of her head is very dry and just plain ugly, plus her hair has two different tones.

My mom hated flat ironing her hair (back in the day it must have been another tool too), so that wasn't something she did with our hair.


Posted By: Princess_S
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 10:23am
My aunt and my gandmother did. - I wasn't relaxed until 13. 

I went to live with my mom at 13 and the 2nd day at her house she relaxed my hair and then left it up to me to come and take care after that. But she relaxed it claiming it was too thick for her to comb. She's the biggest natural hair advocate now .........go figure! smh



Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 10:32am
My mama ain't know what she was doing. I remember hot combs for a min. I don't remember when I was relaxed.


Posted By: khivey
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 10:39am
Originally posted by BBpants BBpants wrote:

Yea...She didn't really want me to relax my hair but I begged her to perm my hair. I was sick of the hot comb! She kept burning me by accident with it lol

My mom took care of my hair tho. I always had edges and my hair was long. It wasn't until I started to take care of it myself and dye it, it turned to go bad lol

Yep! But mom would only allow me to get a perm once a year sometimes twice.  She monitored that. I just used a lot of heat on my hair to style it, so that was the only damaging thing I did to it other than get it permed.


Posted By: indiecat
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 11:21am
At first my mom did, ughh, she used to do my hair too tight though. I can still feel how right it was when I think about it lol. eventually, my older sister started to relax my hair though, it was because it was really long and she liked playing with my hair in different styles. The relaxing didn't prevent my hair from growing to be honest. I've always had thick and long hair until college when I stopped getting a relaxer and didn't know how to do my own natural hair for a little while.


Posted By: Rumbera
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 11:32am
Yeah she did ... I wanted a relaxer , then she would only relax it every six months or so.
I was never a consistent relaxer just when I thought I needed.... Thinking back my hair was more like texlaxed because she/I would never leave it on long.


Posted By: yaya24
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 11:33am
My natural pictures of my hair when I was young looked great. Then I think I got a relaxer when I was 5.. Sleepy

My mom said all we did was cry when she would do our hair, so she put a relaxer in. She did not even have a relaxer, so of course she did not know how to take care of it.

All I remember is pink lotion and PCJ perm boxes.

When we moved from Houston to Dallas, a lady did a jericurl on my hair before my second grade school pictures. That was all she wrote. My hair went on instant decline mode.

black glue quick weaves Dead, tight ponytails etc.

My hair was a mess until college..Then I began buns and sew ins.
Then I found out about the hair boards in 2007.


Posted By: CLCNY20
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 11:41am
Not at f*cking all.

I have no clue why (and I mean to ask her) but my mother just kept chopping my hair off.  She refused to let me grow it, and anytime I complained about it, and said I wanted long hair, she'd shame me by claiming I must want to be White because I'm looking for long hair.

She had me believing, for years, that Black women couldn't grow their own long, natural hair unless they were doing it (without cutting) from birth, or unless they were mixed.
 
When she did do my hair, she used to take her frustrations on her bad days at work out on my scalp, so I have bad memories of sitting on the step beneath her while she tugged, yanked, pulled, and had me in tears.  Don't even get me started on the hotcomb, and the tips of my ears being singed. Sleepy


Posted By: Printer_Ink
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 2:49pm
There WERE no relaxers on the market when I was young. My mother used a hot comb.

I think they came along when I was in highschool .. maybe 15 or 16 and my mother had our hair relaxed.

After about a year or so I got sock of it ... I went to to barber and had it cut off to a twa and there it stayed for 30 some years.

I knew from the beginning the relaxer was bad ... kept leaving sores in my head, breaking off my hair. A mess.


Posted By: Qualified
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 3:14pm
Yes she did. I went to an ol school beautician who had to be in her mid-late 50's when I was 3. This old lady's name was Willie B. Kept my hair healthy until I graduated from high school. Permed or unpermed Willie B, kept that ish laid. It wasnt until I started experimenting with micros, and the devil named BROWN GEL AND PUMP-it-UP, that my hair began to take a sharp turn for the left. We got it together now though. Come to think of it, I ought to contact the manufacture for pump it up and start a class action law suit in the name of all the fallen edges and center crown parts of black women's hair across the world!


Posted By: NARSAddict
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 3:27pm
Yeah she did.  I was natural until the age of 9 and I succumbed to bullying because my hair was "nappy". 


Posted By: Princess_S
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 3:55pm
Originally posted by Printer_Ink Printer_Ink wrote:

There WERE no relaxers on the market when I was young. My mother used a hot comb.

I think they came along when I was in highschool .. maybe 15 or 16 and my mother had our hair relaxed.

After about a year or so I got sock of it ... I went to to barber and had it cut off to a twa and there it stayed for 30 some years.

I knew from the beginning the relaxer was bad ... kept leaving sores in my head, breaking off my hair. A mess.

Dammmnnnnnnnnnnn


Posted By: kkscottdale
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 5:29pm
I have PTSD from my mom doing my hair.

I been relaxed since I think about 5. My hair never grew pass my ears. 

My issue with her was when she would WASH my hair. She never wanted to wash it in the sink, instead in the bathtub with my face up. I now call the practice waterboarding like they do terrorists. I was so scared that one time I ran out of the bathroom butt naked and everyone saw me yelling and screaming in the house. They were all like wtf she yelling for, but all I could say is "please don't make me go back in there!". 

She wears her hair short and natural now and I'm in twists lol


Posted By: uppitynegroid
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 5:44pm
My mom permed my hair at 5.  She didn't know how to maintain natural or relaxed hair.  It was a hot mess.  The damage was never obvious because my hair is so thick, but still.  She's natural too now.


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 6:12pm
Originally posted by Fcgriffin Fcgriffin wrote:

Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

no she didn't.  She never did my hair bc I was nappy and tender headed.  Family members would do it but complain the whole time.  They relaxed me at like 9 but didn't keep up w it so it broke off and I stayed braided until high school...by then I had a lot of growth but didn't know how to manage it so I kept relaxing. So yeah, no chance to flourish.
Sounds like my mom. She would go months and months without touching up so my hair was always breaking off.  She also dyed my hair starting as young as 7 or 8 because she liked the color it changed to in the summer.  I know now that the color was extreme heat damage. Cry

damn!  how did you get your hair to recover?



Posted By: laredbaby
Date Posted: Jan 13 2014 at 8:56pm
My grandmother was the person who really took care of my hair. She would spray it with water before detangling and stayed washing my hair weekly with some mane n tails! But my mom honestly was lazy. She started to perm my hair when I was about 8 years old. My hair was okay at first but looking back at my school pictures my hair got shorter and thinner every year.

But now I'm alllllll natural and loving it! I get compliments just about every day about how thick my hair is! 

My future daughters will never get a perm! That sh*t is the devil. 



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