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violated at work

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Printed Date: Jun 04 2020 at 1:22pm


Topic: violated at work
Posted By: Ava BIN Badd
Subject: violated at work
Date Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 5:37pm
Well, let me start from the beginning. Two weeks before New years I met this guy at a strip club. Now I don't frequent strip clubs and this was my first time going since I was 18. I'm 23 now. 

Anyway, I met this gorgeous guy and we became friends. During our first conversation we went over the normal...he offered me a job opportunity, which was right on time because I'm living in the struggle smh. 
I got to the interview...its a call center in a shabby basement in the hood. Temporarily though bc they are moving to a real office in 2 weeks. Now everybody here smokes...cigs and green, well almost everyone. After work hours we turn up. This is where the problem comes.

Last night we all got drunk as f***.Everybody passed out.
I wake up and my boss is trying to take advantage of me.
Like dick out and in my face trying to get sum head i guess.

I snapped the out didnt know if I shoulda killed somebody or what..
I ended up having to stay bc my car wouldn't start (bad battery in -12 degree weather)
I need this job.. we get paid a really nice salary here..
What should I do?



Replies:
Posted By: Printer_Ink
Date Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 6:15pm
He tried to rape you .. so PRESS CHARGES because surely he has done this before and will do it again! That's how rapists continue to rape - people don't want to do the right thing.

Secondly, the job is in a dump in the hood and it pays well? Sounds like it's a front for something illegal and one day they will get raided and you will get swept up with the crooks. :(

Don't you think this guy knows you want to stay around .. just for the money? Duh!

And why would you DRINK to the point of passing out? Wow. That's a lot of booze. Nothing worse than a drunk, passed out woman ... which is exactly why that guy thought you were 'fair game'.

Money can't buy you piece of mind and working in a bad area, with your 'would be' rapist .. maybe being paid with drug money is a no brainer for me. I wouldn't be able to stomach that creep in the same room with me .. much less continue to work for him. :( I think you are willing to do ANYTHING for money if you would stay in that situation.

Quit that job, call the cops on that rapist before he does it again to some other woman .. maybe he will even try it again on you.

Use your head! Take yourself out of harms way!


Posted By: NARSAddict
Date Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 6:21pm
First thought, I would have called the police on him and press charges, but that would be hard to prove.  Second thought, get some male relatives and let them "talk" to the dude with a metal pipe to the skull.  But seriously I would start looking for another job asaptually and don't look back.  If you have an bachelors or maybe a associates, get into subbing.  Girl I would have a talk to your buddy there and tell him what happened.  Not saying that it is your fault but I would refrain from getting blackout drunk with folks from the workplace.  Hopefully more people will chime in.


Posted By: juicifruit89
Date Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 6:22pm
This would be considered both sexual assault and sexual harassment...I agree, press charges so that it won't happen to someone else.


Posted By: Ava BIN Badd
Date Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 7:45pm
i'm still stuck here.. is it possible to press charges if nothing actually happened though?


Posted By: lahlock1
Date Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 8:17pm
Press charges, this is probably not the first time he has done something like this. Also, quit that job, it sounds like a terrible work environment smh


Posted By: juicifruit89
Date Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 9:52pm
Attemped rape, indecent liberties...yes you should report it, the police will let you know the next steps....


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jan 08 2014 at 12:07am
press charges and what type of work place is this??? What is the job??

And u were snowed in there?  Omg. And it's a basement office, so where did everyone pass out??


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Jan 08 2014 at 1:29am
I would quit on the spot, because the fact that it pays well but it is located in a basement means that something illegal is going down, and I wouldn't want the guy to send someone to kill me because I pressed charges. No one has a sh*tty location for their business but pay people well; it's usually the opposite.

I hope that was the ONLY time you got drunk with those people.
You can either quit now or be everyday going there afraid that they will spike your drinking water or coffee so you won't wake up while they assault you.


Posted By: Printer_Ink
Date Posted: Jan 08 2014 at 4:27am
Originally posted by Ava BIN Badd Ava BIN Badd wrote:

i'm still stuck here.. is it possible to press charges if nothing actually happened though?


Yes!

How can you ask that question?

IT WAS ATTEMPTED RAPE AND .. THAT IS ILLEGALLLLLLL!!!

To be clear .. if a man ATTEMPTS to rape you ... it is a crime because if things had worked out ... he would have done A LOT of things to her .. she just woke up.

How about the next woman FOOLISH that goes off with him and get drunk to the point of passing out?

This is why soooo many women wake up from that date rape drug or whatever ... realize something has happened down below and freak out.

If the OP goes back to that working situation and the next chance he gets .. he does rape her and she tells the police the whole story - the first thing they will say is IF HE TRIED TO RAPE YOU THAT FIRST TIME .. WHY DIDN'T YOU REPORT HIM OR AT LEAST QUIT YOUR JOB?

So she made herself into a victim when she didn't have to be a victim.

This is why the police think .. common sense is just not commom enough anymore.


Posted By: Senior Detective
Date Posted: Jan 08 2014 at 7:39am
One of the reasons I don't smoke, drink or do drugs. I agree with everyone else, get out of there and press charges against him


Posted By: Blac1Chyna
Date Posted: Jan 08 2014 at 12:20pm
Report that sh*t and at least have it documented so the next time he does this to another woman WHICH HE WILL, there will be some character evidence


Posted By: Ava BIN Badd
Date Posted: Jan 08 2014 at 12:42pm
Thanks for the responses, It's actually a call center...those really have no regulations as we can now tell. 

I have decided to press into it with the cops and make a report...sad situation. forgot to pay my phone bill, car battery frozen, and still stuck. Since this situation happened. I have been stuck here... The friend who gave me the job was at his house across the street when this all happened.. 
After we got off yesterday I told him.. He asked what I wanted him to do...
I dint know what to say
 After all he;s an employee as well and we both need the money...

The thing is...it may not seem like I'm being very smart here, but after all I met the friend in a strip club...I was actually in the strip club contemplating being a stripper....but when i saw the disgusting behaviors of these women...I literally wanted to vomit..and X'd that out as an option. So the job was right on time.
I can admit that I'm actually desperate but not desperate enough to be a whore...no offense...these were some nasty ass strippers SERIOUSLY!!!
The reason I'm in such a rut and confused as of what to do is because I just recently got out of an abusive relationship only due to my ex going to federal prison..for the last few years from the beginning of college i was selling ***gs ...never finished college...defaulted on my loans and I'm basically effed up...Trying to start over and be legal and legit...but i keep running into obstacles.

I'm seriously at a loss. 
After I left my ex...whole nother story... My mom lost her house and we ended up having to move to ENGLEWOOD...i've gotten mugged and attacked since I"ve been living there...I'm really desperate to get out!!!! 
Although my previous "fortune" was great it was ill gotten and I no longer want to be on that path.
I ahve no criminal record of any sort..btu for some reason I cant even find a job at a FF restaurant. 
Which I believe is because I've always had this attitude of superiority: 

AS IN: I make your years salry in a week type of thing so...I've gotten fired from every job I ever had...And at those times..I didnt give a darn bc...I had MONEY..and lots of it


Posted By: Ava BIN Badd
Date Posted: Jan 08 2014 at 12:45pm
Now my mother lost her job, and is being sued...She's crying because of the roaches and mice in my cousins apartment where we live...and I don't know what to do. i really hate feeling like a victim and I feel as if I'm strong enough to chalk it up to some drunk ass bullspit that'll never happen again as long as I don't hang around after hours or get drunk.





Posted By: Ava BIN Badd
Date Posted: Jan 08 2014 at 12:49pm
And I'm a new member under this SN but I've been a member since 2009..I've been lurking for years though.

To the poster who asked where we fell out..?

People actually live in the basement where we work.there is house furniture everywhere...in its proper place..i fell asleep on the couch in the back office.


Posted By: Ava BIN Badd
Date Posted: Jan 08 2014 at 12:52pm
But I aint gon lie...i might start stripping...and be a classy O..one that keeps her panties on...jk..IDFK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like seriously I don't have a bad body..I'm very attractive but that's my last option...I'd rather do this than give sex shows in a public venue. I"m reporting it now and checking my options..because you guys are right in saying it should at least be documented as character evidence.
 
If you had no pother option what would you do?
I know some of you ladies are very smart and give great advice. sh*t..should I start stripping..at least i can expect sexual harrassment.

AND I'M LBVVVVVS



Posted By: iliveforbhm
Date Posted: Jan 08 2014 at 12:55pm
Don't know what to tell you besides report, so hang in there lil homie


Posted By: NARSAddict
Date Posted: Jan 08 2014 at 4:40pm
Since you are in the Chicago area, have you considered applying to pharmacy technician positions?  Just get your license and start applying to retail pharmacies.  To get a license it cost about 40 bucks. 


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Jan 08 2014 at 9:39pm
Please stay on the right path . Apply for emergency assist at your local family service office . Walmart will hire you if you arrive with a positive attitude . Do you have family in another state that will help you ? I would also contact a local church outreach program . My church for example provides help to women in need no matter if you attend or not . You sound like a young woman with a chance to turn your life around if you stay away from the wrong people . Not sure what you are selling for the man that attack you , but it's not worth it to risk your life and freedom . Google sites that will help women like you . The man and his crew sound very dangerous . I would stay away and never have any  contact . HTH . God bless you .


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Jan 09 2014 at 1:07am
Originally posted by Ava BIN Badd Ava BIN Badd wrote:

But I aint gon lie...i might start stripping...and be a classy O..one that keeps her panties on...jk..IDFK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like seriously I don't have a bad body..I'm very attractive but that's my last option...I'd rather do this than give sex shows in a public venue. I"m reporting it now and checking my options..because you guys are right in saying it should at least be documented as character evidence.
 
If you had no pother option what would you do?
I know some of you ladies are very smart and give great advice. sh*t..should I start stripping..at least i can expect sexual harrassment.

AND I'M LBVVVVVS



There is always options. You have a very limited mindset, that's why you see stripping as a solution. Just like you met your current boss who tried to rape you at a strip club, you'll meet other guys, maybe a stalker who will follow you one day, rape you and kill you.

You need to change your attitude and accept that if you want a job that pays well and is not relating to exposing your body or doing something illegal, you need to work your way up. By working, you can eventually have $ to go to college and with a degree achieve something better, or simply keep going up on the company you work for.


Posted By: Printer_Ink
Date Posted: Jan 14 2014 at 7:35pm
GEEsuz woman ... I don't think I have ever heard a story like that before. Seems like if it wasn't for BAD luck ... you'd have no luck at all. :/

Now I’m gonna lay it out for you so .. get ready.

Stop selling drugs! You have already messed up college and this new idea of Stripping .. is adding feul to the fire.

BTW:Stripping is the SAME DAG GONE THING as whoring ... and don't you let anyone tell you any different! For you to be considering this line of work does not mean you NEED the money so bad (heck we've all needed money at some point). What that means is that you have some sort of compromised value system and so now your moral compass is pointing toward the toilet. :/

DO NOT GET INTO THE SEX TRADE BUSINESS on any level... it will damage any future you may have for yourself. And THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A CLASSY STRIPPER! Duh! How old are you to believe that con?You will be regarded the same as the tramp that is stupid enough to SHOW her cookies.

All those females you saw are trapped in that life because nobody cared enough about them to steer them away from that crap. I’ll bet none of those girls imagined they would resort to doing all those disgusting things either. Not in the beginning. It’s like a cancer … the money is so good they can’t quit and get a normal job and along the way they start having bad self-esteem and whatnot which leads to all sorts of crap with the creepiest sort of men. Deadend life.

You already said you could not even find work at FF place because you carry an air of superiority so they would fire you. Well guess what? Superior people do not whore themselves out at the titty bar just so they can make in 1 night what a FF worker would make in a week! That's what whores do … nothing ‘superior’ about making all that dirty money.

My advice to you is that you approach the city for emergency housing or something along that line or stay with a friend or suck it up and stay where you are but keep all but a few dollars in the bank and don’t carry a purse at all so you don't get mugged again.

Your mother? (she doesn't sound like she's wound too tight either) but it is not YOUR responsibility to help her out of her bad situation.
She is an adult.

You need to approach any FF place that's hiring, take off the look of superiority .. and affect a look of humble contriteness so you can get an HONEST job, be able to afford a small humble place, so that you go back to school and learn a trade. Then you can make more money and build a decent life for yourself .... faaaar away from the sex trade and the drug trade.

That way you can hold your head up high and be done with all the rediculous DRAMA the sex industry is about (drugs, alcohol, rape, STDs) and all the rest of it.

And yes, press charges. Why are you even asking the guy you met at the Strip club .. what to do? Duh! What the heck does he know .. picking you up at a club like that and sending you off to the BAD environment so that you could be raped. I'll bet he wasn't even surprised to hear what happened to you. HE'S A CREEP!

That is my advice to you – take it or leave it.


Posted By: Beauty620
Date Posted: Jan 15 2014 at 11:22am
To begin with what in the world made you actually feel that comfortable to go get drunk with them. That right there was a huge mistake, If I were you I would of kept it strictly business and nothing personal, on top of you meeting him in a strip club he probably fig erthg was koo, so if  you declined the invitation to go drink with them it would of made him think twice about coming at you like that (D**k all out n ur face n stuff) He is so darn rude.... JUST NASTY Confused 

So with that being said you prob wanna let that job go and continue the search for something legit, because it sounds like you'll always have problems in that place with somebody.


Posted By: Lady ICE
Date Posted: Jan 16 2014 at 7:34am
Originally posted by Ava BIN Badd Ava BIN Badd wrote:

Anyway, I met this gorgeous guy and we became friends. During our first conversation we went over the normal...he offered me a job opportunity, which was right on time because I'm living in the struggle smh. 
I got to the interview...its a call center in a shabby basement in the hood. Temporarily though bc they are moving to a real office in 2 weeks. Now everybody here smokes...cigs and green, well almost everyone. After work hours we turn up. This is where the problem comes.

Last night we all got drunk as f***.Everybody passed out.
I wake up and my boss is trying to take advantage of me.
Like dick out and in my face trying to get sum head i guess.


im sorry about what happened to you...but all of t his would have had me running away...its crazy to me that you stayed. i mean no matter what he had no right to do what he did...im just saying...its crazy.


Posted By: NJHairLuv
Date Posted: Jan 19 2014 at 11:44am
Id show up at work like nothing happened. with a hammer and knife in my purse.


Posted By: yayatheprincess
Date Posted: Jan 31 2014 at 11:59pm
personally, i agree with the last post. i would show up like nothing happened and then proceed to make money for the time being. and just try applying everywhere you can. i'm not familiar with that area but I know of seeing that you are already in a call center have you ever thought about at home work? i know a friend of mine who was working for apple support at home and making decent money. also, i worked in a legit call center and was promoted within 6 months and could've been earlier but i wasn't paying it no mind because i'm still in college and wasn't trying to get myself in over my head. try to find a better call center. they all appear to make good money or try one of the at home ones. it sounds tough what you've been through, but you can get through it. maybe being from south florida and being young i know quite a few strippers i went to school with and yeah the money is good, but at the same time that's stressful as well because then you'll be deemed [your name] "the stripper" which does not appear the route you're going. also, see if there are any leasing consultant jobs as well, something like that gives a discount on rent and can deduct your rent from your checks as well. seeing that i'm in a new state for school that's something i've been thinking of too. just don't do something you might regret later. you will get through this!


Posted By: Printer_Ink
Date Posted: Feb 01 2014 at 3:47am
Sure those seem like viable options for her to find honest work however, umm to show up like nothing happened ... so that this guy is free to rape ANOTHER woman - or even try it again on her? Wow.

If it happens again and she IS raped and calls the cops - the first thing they will say is 'if this guy tried to rape you before, why didn't you report him instead of going back to work like nothing happened and exposing yourself to another assault?'

If you say 'I needed the money' they will look at each other, shake their heads and think 'another stupid/pitiful female that thinks so little of herself that she would place MONEY over her own well-being and safety.' Makes no sense.

Sorry, but this is 'damaged goods' type of behavior (women that are accustomed to being treated badly so will shrug it off and focus on what they can get out of it ... moneywise) because any other woman would scream RAPPPPPE and run for her life!


I think when people are too self-serving they don't know how to 'do the right thing' so they allow these creeps to go free and these kinds of incidents ... continue. :(

Just wow.


Posted By: yayatheprincess
Date Posted: Feb 01 2014 at 12:07pm
you are right about that. i wish i knew more about that area to get a better idea on what would be beneficial. because in south Florida all i know is that there are quite a few legit call centers that you can go to and make 10-15$ an hour starting. but i do hope she gets out of this as soon as possible.


Posted By: Blac1Chyna
Date Posted: Feb 01 2014 at 6:59pm
Just wondering, can she still report him for rape and go to work? Or would work close down because he is locked up?


Posted By: Printer_Ink
Date Posted: Feb 02 2014 at 4:27am
Good point but ... the question is not 'can she still report him for rape and go to work'

The questiom is ... 'if she reports him he will go to jail ... but then they will be closed down and she will not be able to make that 'good' money. :(

This is why she will probably not report him ...

She's not answering these posts anymore for that same reason .. no doubt.


Posted By: NARSAddict
Date Posted: Feb 02 2014 at 10:18am
Originally posted by yayatheprincess yayatheprincess wrote:

you are right about that. i wish i knew more about that area to get a better idea on what would be beneficial. because in south Florida all i know is that there are quite a few legit call centers that you can go to and make 10-15$ an hour starting. but i do hope she gets out of this as soon as possible.



I am in Chicago and I will not front, depending on her education level and if she has access to a running vehicle, it can vary.  If she had a college degree, she might have a fighting chance with doing sub work.  If she works with the Chicago Public Schools, she can earn about either 140 or 114 a day, more if she has a teaching certificate.  Then there is Walgreens, CVS, or independent pharmacies she can work in.  As long as you have a high school diploma or a GED, she is pretty good.  But at the moment the job market in Chicago is kind of tight.  From what I remember, a lot of the call center jobs are located in the 'burbs and Chicago is among the highest in gas prices (due to taxes and what not), sometimes it isn't worth it.

 But AVA if I was you, I would hit up the Chicago Workforce office or its affiliates and get to grinding on finding another job.  Also go to the library and start searching for jobs, check the state government website, Cook County website, and city website and start applying.  For the state I would start borrowing books in regards passing the civic exams.  Also go to the thrift store and get a interview suit and start practicing.  Have in mind that you will get a job and that you are worth it and blah, blah, blah.  Life isn't fair so you are going to have to work and fight for what you need.  Good luck.



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