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These Boots Were Made For Walkin.....

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Topic: These Boots Were Made For Walkin.....
Posted By: Az~Maverick
Subject: These Boots Were Made For Walkin.....
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 12:54pm
....except on water. Sleepy





Pastor Tries to Walk on Water Like Jesus, Then Drowns in Front of His Congregation

http://allchristiannews.com/pastor-tries-to-walk-on-water-like-jesus-then-drowns-in-front-of-his-congregation/" rel="nofollow - http://allchristiannews.com/pastor-tries-to-walk-on-water-like-jesus-then-drowns-in-front-of-his-congregation/



Walking on water is not easy.  Not too many people have the ability.  Let’s see, there’s Jesus, and well, that’s about it.  Unfortunately for one pastor on the West Coast of Africa, his attempt to become the second man to make this impossible feat a reality cost him his life.

Pastor Franck Kabele, 35, told his congregation that he was capable of reenacting the very miracles of Jesus Christ.  He decided to make it clear through way of demonstration on Gabon’s beach in the capital city of Libreville.

Referencing Matthew 14:22-33, Kabele said that he received a revelation which told him that with enough faith he could achieve what Jesus was able to.

According to an eyewitness, Kabele took his congregation out to the beach.  He told them that he would cross the Kombo estuary by foot, which is normally a 20 minute boat ride.

Sadly by the second step into the water Kabele found himself completely submerged.  He never returned.

This is not the first incident of this nature in Africa.  At Ibadon zoo in south-west Nigeria, a self-proclaimed Prophet claimed to be able to do what the Daniel of the bible did by walking into a den full of lions.

Though he was warned numerous times by zoo keepers, according to NG Newspapers, the Prophet thought of them as nothing more than enemies of progress.  The Prophet, with a crowd of people watching, put on a long red robe and proceeded to enter the cage full of lions.

Within seconds of opening the door, the lions ripped the Prophet from flesh to bone.  The bible should come with a warning label, “Don’t try this at home.”




Replies:
Posted By: tatee
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 12:57pm
he shouldve tried something easier like turning water into wine and then work his way up.


Posted By: GG
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 1:00pm
Oh Lordy...


Posted By: browneyez4548
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 1:00pm
Let me get out of here, cause my first reaction was laughter...completely inappropriate Disapprove


Posted By: newdiva1
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 1:02pm
my first reaction was fucced up so....yeah...*leaves thread*


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 1:04pm
Jesus showed his ass.


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 1:06pm
knowing that he couldn't swim, land based miracles were probably the way to go. 

and how deep was this to where he was fully submerged by the second step? was he takin like wide, mother may i ass steps or what? Confused

dude... LOL


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 1:08pm
Originally posted by nekamarie83 nekamarie83 wrote:

knowing that he couldn't swim, land based miracles were probably the way to go. 

and how deep was this to where he was fully submerged by the second step? was he takin like wide, mother may i ass steps or what? Confused

dude... LOL



Im dun with you


Posted By: newin2009
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 1:09pm
Wow


Posted By: blaquefoxx
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 1:11pm
"On the next 1,000 Ways to Die..."


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 1:12pm
I swear thinking you are Jesus will get you killed every time.


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 1:15pm
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Im dun with you
i'm just sayin. you can't swim? no one in the whole congregation can swim? 

they just stood there like: Stern Smile

*smacks teef* ...c'mon son LOL


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 1:18pm
I was dun at land based miracles.....


Posted By: blaquefoxx
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 1:21pm
Originally posted by Az~Maverick Az~Maverick wrote:

Referencing Matthew 14:22-33, Kabele said that he received a revelation which told him that with enough faith he could achieve what Jesus was able to.

Clearly he missed the "don't try me boo" scripture (Matt 4:7)



Posted By: Az~Maverick
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 1:22pm
Originally posted by nekamarie83 nekamarie83 wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Im dun with you
i'm just sayin. you can't swim? no one in the whole congregation can swim? 

they just stood there like: Stern Smile

*smacks teef* ...c'mon son LOL


Ain't that just sad? DisapproveLOL


Posted By: tatee
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 1:26pm
Quote Sadly by the second step into the water Kabele found himself completely submerged


LOL not the first step but the second


Posted By: Az~Maverick
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 1:28pm
Originally posted by tatee tatee wrote:

Quote Sadly by the second step into the water Kabele found himself completely submerged


LOL not the first step but the second


Yeah, like the first wasn't enough warning LOL


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 1:41pm
Black folk don't swim and sister Johnson aint getting her church wig wet....


Posted By: sugabanana
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 1:48pm
oh dearrrrrr when the 1st step didn't have you floating why would you take the 2nd step.

LOL @Neka and her Mother May I steps

I don't want to laugh cos he lost his life but Africans know doggone well not to be messing with water like that.


Posted By: Derri
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 1:48pm



Posted By: bindy
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 1:51pm


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 1:55pm
I didn't expect this thread to be filled with so much laughter.







With that being said, I've already booked my ticket to hell after laughing. I got snacks to share.LOL


Posted By: yaya24
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 1:56pm
He tried it.
LOL


Posted By: BrownQtee
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 1:58pm
Just so many questions...
 
dude couldn't swim?
no one in the congregation jumped in to save him?
why?


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 2:01pm
Originally posted by blaquefoxx blaquefoxx wrote:

Originally posted by Az~Maverick Az~Maverick wrote:

<p style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 20px; padding: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; text-align: justify; line-height: 20px;">Referencing Matthew 14:22-33, Kabele said that he received a revelation which told him that with enough faith he could achieve what Jesus was able to.
<font size="3" face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif">Clearly he missed the "don't try me boo" scripture (Matt 4:7)






Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 2:05pm
Originally posted by blaquefoxx blaquefoxx wrote:

Clearly he missed the "don't try me boo" scripture (Matt 4:7)
LOL


Posted By: decemberdiamond
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 2:22pm
Originally posted by BrownQtee BrownQtee wrote:

Just so many questions...
 

dude couldn't swim?

no one in the congregation jumped in to save him?

why?


Maybe they thought it was a part of the presentation?


Posted By: tatee
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 2:25pm
Originally posted by decemberdiamond decemberdiamond wrote:

Originally posted by BrownQtee BrownQtee wrote:

Just so many questions...
 

dude couldn't swim?

no one in the congregation jumped in to save him?

why?


Maybe they thought it was a part of the presentation?


LOL


Posted By: whosbotheringme
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 2:27pm
***passes around to everyone in this thread the gasoline i used to douse my pannies before jumping into the fiery pit***


Posted By: browneyez4548
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 2:28pm
Ya'll ain't sh*t LOLLOL


Posted By: FarraFace
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 2:28pm
So the 1st time you try to walk on water it's gone be water deep enough to drown in? Okay

And the 1st time you gon try to stand up to a predator it's gon be a lion? All righty.

I don't mean a bit of harm, but this is white people shyt. If these 2 males were kneegrows, they were seriously mentally ill. Straight jacket and padded room serious.


Posted By: 510QUEEN
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 2:39pm
Originally posted by browneyez4548 browneyez4548 wrote:

Let me get out of here, cause my first reaction was laughter...completely inappropriate Disapprove

i completely laughed


Posted By: AshBash89
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 2:43pm
Originally posted by 510QUEEN 510QUEEN wrote:

Originally posted by browneyez4548 browneyez4548 wrote:

Let me get out of here, cause my first reaction was laughter...completely inappropriate Disapprove


i completely laughed

I'm still laughing


Posted By: FarraFace
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 2:46pm
Originally posted by carolina cutie carolina cutie wrote:

I didn't expect this thread to be filled with so much laughter.

With that being said, I've already booked my ticket to hell after laughing. I got snacks to share.LOL

Shyt like this is proof that God has a sense of humor. Let us laugh heartily with Her.




Posted By: decemberdiamond
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 2:49pm
"Take me to the king...."-Pastor


Posted By: niecy
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 3:27pm
Alrighty then... *holds up finger and exits as I snicker under my breath*

Lord I'm going to hell.


Posted By: GoodGirlGoneGr8
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 3:34pm
People need to stop believing they're invincible...


Posted By: Rumbera
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 3:36pm
allayall have a warm seat waiting for you......LOL


Posted By: briany
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 3:45pm
I know it is totally inappropiate but I laughed long and loud.
Then I read the responses and I am now pi$$ing myself with laughter. LOL


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 4:19pm

The bible should come with a warning label, “Don’t try this at home.”


They silly as hell for this line


Posted By: liesnalibis
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 4:26pm
I know his feelings were hurt.


Posted By: GoodGirlGoneGr8
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 4:37pm
He should've tried it with those arm floaties first...


Posted By: whosbotheringme
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 5:16pm
One more rung of hell I just descended for lmao @ this story - and these comments


Posted By: tatee
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 5:16pm
Originally posted by liesnalibis liesnalibis wrote:

I know his feelings were hurt.


LOL


Posted By: DiorShowGirl
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 11:34pm
seriously ya'll just need to stopLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLCryCryCryCryCryCry


Posted By: DiorShowGirl
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 11:36pm
Originally posted by decemberdiamond decemberdiamond wrote:

"Take me to the king...."-Pastor



ok Tamela Mann...LOLLOLLOLLOLLOL


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 11:43pm
I love this!
That is the best way to test people on their faith in the bullsh!t on the bible.
God also said to love your enemy, why aren't people trying that???


Posted By: NARSAddict
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 11:44pm
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Jesus showed his ass.


LOL thank you for almost making me choke on my popcorn.


Posted By: DiorShowGirl
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 11:46pm
well then the congregation should of tried to find another pastor to find this one and try to raise him back from the dead....

LAZARUS....RISE...I SAY RISE LAZARUS...


Posted By: eanaj5
Date Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 11:50pm
yall goin to hell Dead


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Jan 04 2014 at 1:08am
Originally posted by DiorShowGirl DiorShowGirl wrote:

well then the congregation should of tried to find another pastor to find this one and try to raise him back from the dead....

LAZARUS....RISE...I SAY RISE LAZARUS...
OuchLOLLOL



Posted By: Bored w/Out Me?
Date Posted: Jan 04 2014 at 10:01am
That article was funny and Tatee's first comment should of been in it


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jan 04 2014 at 11:04am
Originally posted by tatee tatee wrote:

he shouldve tried something easier like turning water into wine and then work his way up.


Posted By: blaquefoxx
Date Posted: Jan 08 2014 at 5:16pm
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

I swear thinking you are Jesus will get you killed every time.


Anyone wanna place bets on this dudeSleepy

Man who thinks he's Jesus... along with hundreds of young women who follow him across the world

  • Inri Cristo, 66, from Brasilia, Brazil, believes he is a reincarnation of the son of God
  • Cristo claims to have hundreds of followers, some who live at his 'church' compound
  • In 35 years, he has travelled to 27 countries, been arrested 40 times and expelled from Britain and the US

By http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/search.html?s=&authornamef=Sara+Malm" rel="nofollow - Sara Malm

PUBLISHED: 06:50 EST, 7 January 2014 | UPDATED: 03:01 EST, 8 January 2014




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A 66-year-old Brazilian man has spent 35 years preaching the word of God - because he believes he is the reincarnation of Jesus.

Inri Cristo has ‘hundreds of followers’ from around the world, including the UK, Britain and France, some of whom live with him at his ‘church’ compound outside Brasilia.

Since 1979 he has travelled for 27 countries to spread his word, however his controversial views has seen him expelled from the US, Britain and Venezuela.

Scroll down for video

I am Jesus: Inri Cristo speaks to his disciples from one of his mobile pulpits at his church compound outside the capital of Brasilia

I am Jesus: Inri Cristo speaks to his disciples from one of his mobile pulpits at his church compound outside the capital of Brasilia

They see me rollin, they hatin: When not giving sermons and tending to his flock at his Soust church, Inri Cristo likes to get around the grounds of his compound aboard his motor scooter

They see me rollin', they hatin': When not giving sermons and tending to his flock at his Soust church, Inri Cristo likes to get around the grounds of his compound aboard his motor scooter

Son of god: Inri - which is a Latin acronym  that in English means Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews, believes that the location of his church is the New Jerusalem

Son of god: Inri - which is a Latin acronym that in English means 'Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews', believes that the location of his 'church' is the 'New Jerusalem'

Most of the disciples who live at his church – mostly women - have followed Inri for decades, the eldest, Abevere, 86, has been following him for 32 years.

His youngest disciple is now 24 years old and first met Inri when she was just a two years old.

 

More...

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As ‘Jesus reborn’ he has even taken the name of Inri, which derives from the latin acronym said to have been written on the cross during Jesus' crucifixion, and stands for Iesus Nazarenus, Rex Iudaeorum, or in English: Jesus the Nazarene, King of the Jews' and Cristo, meaning Christ.

His Jesus-like dressing and unorthodox views on capitalism, abortion and even Christmas has seen him detained by police more than 40 times.

Faithful followers: A group of Inri Cristos devoted disciples who live at the Soust compound gather to greet Jesus in Brasilia, Brazil. Most of the disciples who live there have known Inri for over 20 years; the oldest now 86, and the youngest 24

Faithful followers: A group of Inri Cristo's devoted disciples who live at the Soust compound gather to greet 'Jesus' in Brasilia, Brazil. Most of the disciples who live there have known Inri for over 20 years; the oldest now 86, and the youngest 24

Leaders greetings: Despite being the home of Jesus, and home of a religious organisation, Inri Christo still has a kennel of dogs to protect them

Leader's greetings: Despite being the home of Jesus, and home of a religious organisation, Inri Christo still has a kennel of dogs to protect them

Uniform uniform: Inri Christos female disciples wear simple blue gowns with the compounds logo on, tied with a rope, and knitted hats

Uniform uniform: Inri Christo's female disciples wear simple blue gowns with the compound's logo on, tied with a rope, and knitted hats

He said: ‘I know that there are countless people scattered throughout Brazil and the world whose hearts beat together with mine.’

But despite seeing himself as Jesus reborn, Inri refuses to celebrate Christmas saying it is just a day where 'the rich humiliate the poor'.

‘It is a day when the little sons of the rich can show the gifts they received while the poor children only get a crumb,’ he said. ‘So it is a very sad day for anyone who sees things with the eyes that I see.’

Inri says he first experienced the 'revelation' that he was Christ during a religious fast in Santiago, Chile, in 1979.

Since childhood he had been following a powerful voice that 'speaks in his head' but it was only on this occasion that it told him: ‘I am your Father. The God of Abraham, of Isaac, and of Jacob.’

His holy word: Cristo speaks to his followers every Saturday morning from his pulpit at the New Jerusalem compound

His holy word: Cristo speaks to his followers every Saturday morning from his pulpit at the 'New Jerusalem' compound

Long career: Inri Cristo, who has been preaching as Jesus since 1979, surrounded by followers circa 1982 at Belem cathedral in Lisbon, Portugal

Long career: Inri Cristo, who has been preaching as 'Jesus' since 1979, surrounded by followers circa 1982 at Belem cathedral in Lisbon, Portugal

On display: Artifacts from the life of Inri Cristo are kept in glass cabinets at his chapel at the Soust compound near Brasilia

On display: Artifacts from the life of Inri Cristo are kept in glass cabinets at his chapel at the Soust compound near Brasilia

Hes alive! Inri Cristo in a photo of himself wearing his own version of the Shroud of Turin, circa 1993, set to prove that he is the resurrection of Jesus Christ himself

He's alive! Inri Cristo in a photo of himself wearing his own version of the Shroud of Turin, circa 1993, set to prove that he is the resurrection of Jesus Christ himself

Uncomfortable truths? Inri Christos controversial views on everything from Christmas to capitalism has seen him arrested 40 times, and expelled from several countries

Uncomfortable truths? Inri Christo's controversial views on everything from Christmas to capitalism has seen him arrested 40 times, and expelled from several countries

He now runs his own church, the 'Soust' (Suprema Ordem Universal da Santmssima Trindade), located on a lush farmland outside of Brasilia, the capital of Brazil, which he calls the 'New Jerusalem'.

He and his followers survive on homegrown fruit like bananas, avocados and mangos as well as a vegetable garden.

There's also a chapel where Ingra speaks to his followers every Saturday morning and a kennel for the dogs that guard the complex.

His quirky life has led to critics saying he is mentally ill - an accusation he firmly denies.

‘I can be crazy but not dumb,’ he said.

‘Madness is different from dementia. It is the mother of philosophers, prophets and inventors.

‘My mission is to prepare the elect, the survivors of the inevitable nuclear hecatomb that will culminate in the end of this chaotic world, for the formation of the new earthly society, which will strive to fulfill the Creator's will.’

Preacher and leader: Inri Christos loyal followers push his pulpit out into the garden in order to listen to his words as Jesus

Preacher and leader: Inri Christo's loyal followers push his pulpit out into the garden in order to listen to his words as 'Jesus'

Biker Jesus: Inri Christo takes his scooter for a spin around his vast compound where he lives with his followers, preaching the word of Jesus

Biker Jesus: Inri Christo takes his scooter for a spin around his vast compound where he lives with his followers, preaching 'the word of Jesus'


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Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Jan 08 2014 at 5:24pm
He know his limits....that man looks dead tho.


Posted By: AwesomeAries
Date Posted: Jan 08 2014 at 6:16pm
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

I swear thinking you are Jesus will get you killed every time.



Posted By: AwesomeAries
Date Posted: Jan 08 2014 at 6:16pm
Originally posted by blaquefoxx blaquefoxx wrote:

Originally posted by Az~Maverick Az~Maverick wrote:

Referencing Matthew 14:22-33, Kabele said that he received a revelation which told him that with enough faith he could achieve what Jesus was able to.

Clearly he missed the "don't try me boo" scripture (Matt 4:7)




Posted By: AwesomeAries
Date Posted: Jan 08 2014 at 6:20pm
I want to direct all of you in this thread straight to hell
please follow the direction of the usher


Posted By: AwesomeAries
Date Posted: Jan 08 2014 at 6:22pm
I wonder how many of them he sleeping with...........Geek


Posted By: ragincajin
Date Posted: Jan 08 2014 at 8:54pm
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Jesus showed his ass.

Mizzandra...I can't with you.
That avi, that line...I'm out.


Posted By: DiorShowGirl
Date Posted: Jan 08 2014 at 9:46pm
Originally posted by AwesomeAries AwesomeAries wrote:

I want to direct all of you in this thread straight to hell
please follow the direction of the usher


LOLLOLLOLLOL


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Jan 08 2014 at 9:53pm
I finally read this thread.



I feel so terrible for laughing.
That step and a half was full of so much regret.


Posted By: QueenBee
Date Posted: Jan 08 2014 at 10:29pm
Lol..


Posted By: **Sk!TtLeS B**
Date Posted: Jan 09 2014 at 2:35am
Originally posted by AwesomeAries AwesomeAries wrote:

I wonder how many of them he sleeping with...........Geek

I'd venture to say all of 'em.


Posted By: Missvw
Date Posted: Jan 09 2014 at 3:08am
Originally posted by browneyez4548 browneyez4548 wrote:

Let me get out of here, cause my first reaction was laughter...completely inappropriate Disapprove
igiggled


Posted By: Lady ICE
Date Posted: Jan 09 2014 at 3:37am
why did i even come in here? its not funny but i laughed....why would you do that??

Reaction GIF: nope, Jensen Ackles, Dean Winchester, Supernatural


Posted By: Lady ICE
Date Posted: Jan 09 2014 at 3:39am
Originally posted by AwesomeAries AwesomeAries wrote:

Originally posted by blaquefoxx blaquefoxx wrote:

Originally posted by Az~Maverick Az~Maverick wrote:

Referencing Matthew 14:22-33, Kabele said that he received a revelation which told him that with enough faith he could achieve what Jesus was able to.

Clearly he missed the "don't try me boo" scripture (Matt 4:7)


you guys are horrible ppl. and i want nothing to do with yall...


until i log on later on.


Posted By: Jewelsnyc
Date Posted: Jan 09 2014 at 3:42am
They see me rollin, they hatin: When not giving sermons and tending to his flock at his Soust church, Inri Cristo likes to get around the grounds of his compound aboard his motor scooter

Jesus on a hover round...I'm done.


Posted By: newdiva1
Date Posted: Jan 09 2014 at 5:53am
why the crown look like a pretzel with salt?  iguess.


On display: Artifacts from the life of Inri Cristo are kept in glass cabinets at his chapel at the Soust compound near Brasilia


Posted By: Jewelsnyc
Date Posted: Jan 09 2014 at 5:54am
I'm so done diva...& now I'm hungry...LOL


Posted By: Senior Detective
Date Posted: Jan 09 2014 at 6:19am
I'm not surprised.



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