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Catcalling/Inappropriate Comments in Public?

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Printed Date: Oct 15 2018 at 9:19pm


Topic: Catcalling/Inappropriate Comments in Public?
Posted By: femmemichelle
Subject: Catcalling/Inappropriate Comments in Public?
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:05pm
Hello BHM!

I'm currently undergoing a dilemma. For those of you who will take this as a shameless attempt at bragging, boosting myself, etc etc please exit. This is a serious post.

What do you do about catcalling in public? Some of it is fine e.g. simple compliments or what have you. But, I literally broke into tears when I came home from shopping because some old ass man literally followed me two blocks. He was talking with his friends and then they all began with the catcalls but I just kept it moving. Then I noticed one of them was following me. When I started to run, he quickened his pace. An older woman who was nearby actually had to walk me to my apartment because she realized what this crackhead was doing.

So what do you do? I was completely covered and make sure I am at all times when I go out now. I'm kind of at a loss. I've Googled other women's experiences and realized some women find comfort in sh*t like this happening but I do not. Help?



Replies:
Posted By: femmefatale85
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:14pm
I ignore people. I also don't live in a walking city anymore, so I don't have to deal with it nearly as much.

Head phones and sunglasses were my friends.



Posted By: Senior Detective
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:19pm
you must take his hand, look him in the eyes, explain that it's not his fault for his actions.  The 400 years of oppression that our ppl had to endure is the cause of his behavior.  Once we have universal equality & reparations, he will learn to love & respect the black woman for the queens we are
Cry
 
 
 
 
 
 
ok, I would have ran, pressed charges, carried a taser or knife in the future.   Aint no use in reasoning with a psycho who doesn't know any better.  Sorry u had a bad nightHug


Posted By: femmemichelle
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:20pm
^^I find it hard to simply ignore. If I get a compliment my automatic reaction is to smile and look down and keep nodding if they say anything else. I hardly ever say anything back, though. It's just really getting out of hand. Thinking about buying pepper spray or something.


Posted By: femmefatale85
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:22pm
oh yes...get a taser and mace


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:23pm
I think this goes beyond catcalling.
You had a crack head raper man chasing you.



Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:24pm
Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

So what do you do? I was completely covered and make sure I am at all times when I go out now. I'm kind of at a loss. I've Googled other women's experiences and realized some women find comfort in sh*t like this happening but I do not. Help?
i'm sorry this has happened. Hug  i hope that bhm's men know better, do better and would offer you some pov from the other side. 

for me-- it's rare that it gets to that point, but i'm one to confront. i will flatly tell a guy that he's disrespectful, it makes me uncomfortable and needs to take a step back. depends on the guy whether i take an ignant tone or not. 

if it's getting to this point femme, i hope you consider something to carry (gun, mace, pepper spray, knife, taser, brass knuckles-- clearly i don't care about illegality ) to keep you safe. 


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:25pm
Originally posted by Senior Detective Senior Detective wrote:

The 400 years of oppression that our ppl had to endure is the cause of his behavior. 
i can't stand you though... LOL


Posted By: femmemichelle
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:25pm
Originally posted by Senior Detective Senior Detective wrote:

you must take his hand, look him in the eyes, explain that it's not his fault for his actions.  The 400 years of oppression that our ppl had to endure is the cause of his behavior.  Once we have universal equality & reparations, he will learn to love & respect the black woman for the queens we are
Cry
 
 
 
 
 
 
ok, I would have ran, pressed charges, carried a taser or knife in the future.   Aint no use in reasoning with a psycho who doesn't know any better.  Sorry u had a bad nightHug

Girl I've been having a bad week. I'm out here visiting family for the holidays. I have never dealt with brazen men like this in my life. I was trying to do some shopping for my family/friends but had to stop short because of how aggressive people out here are. I was raised to always keep my head held high when I'm walking in public but I literally just stare at the ground every where I go here to avoid being harassed. It's ridiculous.


Posted By: bunzaveli
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:26pm
Brothas aint shiet, sorry you had to deal with that


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:27pm
After an incident I was completely terrified of strange men.
Wouldn't even attend office hours with my male professors and God forbid I was alone in the elevator with one.

I'm less nervous now can't quite pinpoint the reason.

There was a defense class offered at my school and I took it.
Taught about fear responses and identifying mine.

I feel more confident now that in the spur of a moment I can defend myself with no regard or remorse


Posted By: femmemichelle
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:31pm
Originally posted by nekamarie83 nekamarie83 wrote:

Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

So what do you do? I was completely covered and make sure I am at all times when I go out now. I'm kind of at a loss. I've Googled other women's experiences and realized some women find comfort in sh*t like this happening but I donot. Help?
i'm sorry this has happened. Hug  i hope that bhm's men know better, do better and would offer you some pov from the other side. 

for me-- it's rare that it gets to that point, but i'm one to confront. i will flatly tell a guy that he's disrespectful, it makes me uncomfortable and needs to take a step back. depends on the guy whether i take an ignant tone or not. 

if it's getting to this point femme, i hope you consider something to carry (gun, mace, pepper spray, knife, taser, brass knuckles-- clearly i don't care about illegality ) to keep you safe. 

You know what's ironic? In the midst of today's events, there was a vendor who yelled out at me to protect myself and buy his mace. He said it was $5. At the time I thought that was extreme, but literally 15 minutes later ole boy in OP was on my trail. I'm livid/angry/scared at this point. 

When I first got here I thought it was cute how the men are so bold in approaching women because it's nooothing like this back home. At all. But yeah..today I realized it ain't nothing but harassment.



Posted By: Senior Detective
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:31pm
Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

Originally posted by Senior Detective Senior Detective wrote:

you must take his hand, look him in the eyes, explain that it's not his fault for his actions.  The 400 years of oppression that our ppl had to endure is the cause of his behavior.  Once we have universal equality & reparations, he will learn to love & respect the black woman for the queens we are
Cry
 
 
 
 
 
 
ok, I would have ran, pressed charges, carried a taser or knife in the future.   Aint no use in reasoning with a psycho who doesn't know any better.  Sorry u had a bad nightHug

Girl I've been having a bad week. I'm out here visiting family for the holidays. I have never dealt with brazen men like this in my life. I was trying to do some shopping for my family/friends but had to stop short because of how aggressive people out here are. I was raised to always keep my head held high when I'm walking in public but I literally just stare at the ground every where I go here to avoid being harassed. It's ridiculous.
& its a damn shame!  It shouldn't be that way because some fools don't know how to act, we have to live in fear.  Plenty here have shared similar stories on POS that cannot handle rejection & they got either verbally or physically abusive.   We should keep our heads held high at all times & the need to RESPECT US.  They should be protecting us not intimidating or hurting us.  smh. Mothers teach ur sons...   PLEASE!!


Posted By: femmemichelle
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:32pm
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

After an incident I was completely terrified of strange men.
Wouldn't even attend office hours with my male professors and God forbid I was alone in the elevator with one.

I'm less nervous now can't quite pinpoint the reason.

There was a defense class offered at my school and I took it.
Taught about fear responses and identifying mine.

I feel more confident now that in the spur of a moment I can defend myself with no regard or remorse

Did he hurt you?

And the instance I'm talking about happened in Harlem fyi.


Posted By: Senior Detective
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:34pm
Remember the so called triggers for these idiots???
 
They claim they don't want to be laffed at, ignored or embarrassed by a woman.   So idk wtf we can actually do.  Entertain them for a minute then politely turn them down?
 
sheesh, its so hard being a lady


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:34pm
I've never had the issue of what you talked about in the op.
It was something else but it heightened my anxiety in other situations.


That sounds scary


Posted By: femmemichelle
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:34pm
Originally posted by Senior Detective Senior Detective wrote:

Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

Originally posted by Senior Detective Senior Detective wrote:

you must take his hand, look him in the eyes, explain that it's not his fault for his actions.  The 400 years of oppression that our ppl had to endure is the cause of his behavior.  Once we have universal equality & reparations, he will learn to love & respect the black woman for the queens we are
Cry
 
 
 
 
 
 
ok, I would have ran, pressed charges, carried a taser or knife in the future.   Aint no use in reasoning with a psycho who doesn't know any better.  Sorry u had a bad nightHug

Girl I've been having a bad week. I'm out here visiting family for the holidays. I have never dealt with brazen men like this in my life. I was trying to do some shopping for my family/friends but had to stop short because of how aggressive people out here are. I was raised to always keep my head held high when I'm walking in public but I literally just stare at the ground every where I go here to avoid being harassed. It's ridiculous.
& its a damn shame!  It shouldn't be that way because some fools don't know how to act, we have to live in fear.  Plenty here have shared similar stories on POS that cannot handle rejection & they got either verbally or physically abusive.   We should keep our heads held high at all times & the need to RESPECT US.  They should be protecting us not intimidating or hurting us.  smh. Mothers teach ur sons...   PLEASE!!

The bolded is my fear. For the most part they have been pretty respectful when I ignore them but I'm afraid I might meet another crazy who will not only follow me but assault me :/ 


Posted By: HaitianDiva64
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:40pm
I'm sorry femme ***huggs*** I had this happen when I was TEN a man actually tried to follow me up my stairs. This was back when my neighborhood had a cocaine problem. I stopped turned around and said if he came any further I'm calling the cops and he scurried along.

I just want these guys to learn to keep hands to themselves. My new thing now is asking what if I was your daughter/sister/mom


Posted By: Senior Detective
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:41pm
Originally posted by HaitianDiva64 HaitianDiva64 wrote:

I'm sorry femme ***huggs*** I had this happen when I was TEN a man actually tried to follow me up my stairs. This was back when my neighborhood had a cocaine problem. I stopped turned around and said if he came any further I'm calling the cops and he scurried along.

I just want these guys to learn to keep hands to themselves. My new thing now is asking what if I was your daughter/sister/mom
don't u live in bk?Confused


Posted By: femmemichelle
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:44pm
Do yall make eye contact with people as you walk? For some reason I think that makes them think it's OK.


Posted By: Ming
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:44pm
This past summer I didn't go into an elevator with 4 men. foh... One said there's room and I said id wait. Another one yelled as the doors were closing that they weren't gonna do anything to me and I don't need to be worried .

When I got downstairs they were in front of the building and one of them said he wishes he was stuck in the elevator with me... you have to ignore them or remove yourself


Posted By: _ConcreteRose_
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:45pm
Depends on how safe I feel. I'll either ignore or say something sassy. 
Actually I say something sassy most of the time it's porbably not smart but I hate catcalling with a passion. 
Sorry this isn't good advice.
I keep pepper spray on me at all times.
Sorry this happened to you,. :(


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:48pm
Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

You know what's ironic? In the midst of today's events, there was a vendor who yelled out at me to protect myself and buy his mace. He said it was $5. At the time I thought that was extreme, but literally 15 minutes later ole boy in OP was on my trail. I'm livid/angry/scared at this point. 

When I first got here I thought it was cute how the men are so bold in approaching women because it's nooothing like this back home. At all. But yeah..today I realized it ain't nothing but harassment.
yeah, it's time to kit up. i'm just glad there was someone to walk with you and that you're safe. 

to the bolded, no ma'am and i hate that it got to this point. experience is a hell of a teacher. 
 


Posted By: HaitianDiva64
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:49pm
Sd I live in queens. And mid- to late 90s big drug problem.

I give eye contact depending on the guy and compliment. Its just natural for me to say thank you. Some men just don't lnow how to handle a no thank you


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:54pm
Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

Do yall make eye contact with people as you walk? For some reason I think that makes them think it's OK.
yes i do. frankly, i think looking away implies that you can be intimidated. 

however, i'm not intimidating so much as i am southern. it's habit. 

i can stare a person down though. *shrug*


Posted By: Senior Detective
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:59pm
there was a thread on lsa last week about this.  A guy there had this response.  I found it interesting
http://www.lipstickalley.com/showthread.php?t=619729" rel="nofollow - http://www.lipstickalley.com/showthread.php?t=619729
 
I think in a woman's head ignoring a man = not interested. When in reality, when you look at it... let's be real... it's kinda rude.

I know, I know, I know that by saying anything "not mean" men take it as in invitation/ make it out as something else. but, it still is what it is. The fact that people think they can just not talk to someone is funny. This is all catered to a situation in which you are approached respectfully. (no cat calls... damn MA's, etc.)

i'd be (shortly) upset (not temper-tantrum upset) if i'm respectfully talking to another human being (regardless of gender...) and am completely ignored. hit em' w/ a 'i have a bf' or simply 'i'm not interested'.

all my opinion, of course.


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 10:05pm
Stare at em , look away.
Talk or ignore doesn't matter.

Some ppl will try it and some ppl are crazy.

These are not normal responses to rejection.
These men are disturbed that's all.


Posted By: _ConcreteRose_
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 10:06pm
But he even says in that post that he isnt even talking about cat calling. A completely different subject.


Posted By: Lonisha87
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 10:08pm
I was followed home twice in middle school, and rudely cat called my whole life. Dice other ignore it or talk sh*t right back, one incident I pushed into a corner and threatened with rape(back in middle school or 9th grade, since then I don't even give eye contact and if I happen to be walking and my eyes meet a strangers I quickly look away with a small smile. Very paranoid


Posted By: _ConcreteRose_
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 10:10pm
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

Stare at em , look away.
Talk or inore doesn't matter.

Some ppl will try it and some ppl are crazy.

These are not normal responses to rejection.
These men are disturbed that's all.
This is an intresting one too. Stare and don't say anything.. I feel like no one would know how to react.

Also, I just remembered when I was you an this man was following me in his car (I was walkin home) and saying awful things he wanted to do to me. I picked up my phone and said I was calling the police and he drove away.. fast. lol So that could be a solution as well.

ETA: Still risky though because you never know how people are going to react.


Posted By: Senior Detective
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 10:12pm
Originally posted by _ConcreteRose_ _ConcreteRose_ wrote:

But he even says in that post that he isnt even talking about cat calling. A completely different subject.
That was in reference to my post about triggers
 
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

Stare at em , look away.
Talk or ignore doesn't matter.

Some ppl will try it and some ppl are crazy.

These are not normal responses to rejection.
These men are disturbed that's all.
I completely agree


Posted By: _ConcreteRose_
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 10:17pm
Oh I see. Yeah, the thing is, generally, people try to rationalize their actions no matter how stupid. They don't see it as harassing and coming off threatening to women, they see only that they got turned down and (in their mind) they didn't deserve it. It's entitlement really.


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 11:37pm
As a woman in this world you are not safe. All you can do is try to avoid situations by driving as much as possible, removing yourself from the situation, and carrying something to protect yourself.

All strange men are threats, point blank period. Most known men are threats as well. Never let your guard down and arm yourself.


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Dec 28 2013 at 1:54am
Originally posted by nekamarie83 nekamarie83 wrote:

Originally posted by Senior Detective Senior Detective wrote:

The 400 years of oppression that our ppl had to endure is the cause of his behavior.  <span style="line-height: 1.4;">
i can't stand you though... LOL</span>


I swear


Bear spray....and a knife.....


Posted By: eanaj5
Date Posted: Dec 28 2013 at 10:59am
smh, this happens frequently.
Recently I was walking to the mall from campus and was on the side walk, there was construction up the street on my side so i would have to cross eventually.
There was a man standing on the opposite side of the street on the phone, he paused his convo and tried to flag me down as i was walking. I looked over, realized what was about to happen and continued to walk.
He started walking parallel to my direction, still talking on the phone and i stopped at a crosswalk, just to make sure he wasnt following me.
This clown stopped, waited 3 lights, still talking on the phone and trying to get my attention

I had to cross the street because i came to the part where they were doing construction on my side so i stopped, pretended to look through my phone. I turned around and started walking back th way i came and sure enough he followed on the other side. I stopped when i saw a guy who was clearly disturbed on my side at another crosswalk. I was trapped btween two crazies.

I just jay walked in the middle of traffic back toward the way of the mall and tried to hurry before the guy on the phone caught up. He tried flagging me down again and i waved him away. I had to keep looking back to make sure he didnt follow me.

Luckily along the way there was a little shop that sold blades, i bought one STAT.

Brothas be cray yall...



Posted By: juicifruit89
Date Posted: Dec 28 2013 at 11:17am
Just brought some mace last weekend...all I need is a switchblade and I'm good.


Posted By: GG
Date Posted: Dec 28 2013 at 11:21am
What is this persistence to harass someone who doesn't want to give you any attention?!?! Crazy...


Posted By: Nisha
Date Posted: Dec 28 2013 at 11:42am
foid card...on January 1st.


Posted By: NARSAddict
Date Posted: Dec 28 2013 at 2:18pm
Get you a nail studded bat and carry it with at all time.  It's whack-a-fool season starting now.  But if your aim is off, then get some mace and enroll in some self-defense classes.


Posted By: Rumbera
Date Posted: Dec 28 2013 at 2:26pm
Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

Do yall make eye contact with people as you walk? For some reason I think that makes them think it's OK.
 
I'm sorry this happend to you Femme.
 
To answer this question, I do make eye contact depending on the situation along with a look that says" wtf you looking at " it has worked and I often find when you make eye contact they often get cowardly.


Posted By: Rumbera
Date Posted: Dec 28 2013 at 2:27pm
Originally posted by Ming Ming wrote:

This past summer I didn't go into an elevator with 4 men. foh... One said there's room and I said id wait. Another one yelled as the doors were closing that they weren't gonna do anything to me and I don't need to be worried .

When I got downstairs they were in front of the building and one of them said he wishes he was stuck in the elevator with me... you have to ignore them or remove yourself
 
I feel ya !! I would've done the same thing.


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Dec 28 2013 at 2:37pm
Originally posted by Nisha Nisha wrote:

foid card...on January 1st.
 
 
That and my conceal and carry license


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Dec 28 2013 at 2:48pm
sorry OP. It can get scary sometimes. 

Most of the things mentioned are things I do or have done. Sometimes they work, sometimes not. It's terrible that women need to have all these defense methods at the ready while they're out just grocery shopping or doing any other normal daily activity. It would be so much easier (better) if men just stopped doing this.


Posted By: femmemichelle
Date Posted: Dec 28 2013 at 3:02pm
So I was called "stuck up" and made a mockery of. Fool followed me, then when I lied and said I had a boyfriend, got mad because he said he just wanted to be friends. Then started shouting for me to not be stuck up, inducing nothing but eye rolls from me because people were watching. I'm done with being polite. I don't know what's wrong with east coast men but a lot of them need a healthy dose of tact. 


Posted By: kkscottdale
Date Posted: Dec 28 2013 at 3:31pm
Ok, so where can we buy mace from?

I take boxing classes but a bottle of mace can't hurt.


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Dec 28 2013 at 3:33pm
Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

It would be so much easier (better) if men just stopped doing this.
Oh, but they don't hear your wisdom though. Their egos and feelings of privilege are way too loud.


Posted By: Ming
Date Posted: Dec 28 2013 at 3:50pm
I was searching groupon for self defense classes. They approach you in such a rude way but will snatch your wig off if you react accordingly.


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Dec 28 2013 at 5:14pm
Originally posted by kkscottdale kkscottdale wrote:

Ok, so where can we buy mace from?

I take boxing classes but a bottle of mace can't hurt.


last time I ordered, I think I got it here

http://www.thehomesecuritysuperstore.com/pepper-spray-gaw-c=30?gclid=CIa0upOF1LsCFYQ7OgodDD0Aaw" rel="nofollow - http://www.thehomesecuritysuperstore.com/pepper-spray-gaw-c=30?gclid=CIa0upOF1LsCFYQ7OgodDD0Aaw

I got fox labs (what they say the police use) and sabre brands. I keep one everywhere in the house, also in car and purse. Also got a couple Lipstick and pen disguised types.

eta: these are very strong; and if you spray it, you need to be running while spraying lol, or it will incapacitate YOU too.


Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Dec 28 2013 at 5:20pm
Originally posted by Ming Ming wrote:

I was searching groupon for self defense classes. They approach you in such a rude way but will snatch your wig off if you react accordingly.

mhm.. me too. 
like i can fight fairly well but this fighting i wanna do.. krav maga.. teaches you how defend yourself in all types of predicaments.. I've been reading reviews and their classes mock scenarios like if you're stuck on your back, in a tight area, multiple ppl, if there are knives involved, if you're disoriented/drunk (they spin you around several times while blind folded) and lots of other scenarios… 
 
I've always wanted to do it but especially now.. sounds like fun and really beneficial. 


Posted By: AwesomeAries
Date Posted: Dec 28 2013 at 5:26pm
Most terrifying experience of my life
He was following me outside of a shopping center
I didn't move my car next to the second store I wanted to go in because I didn't want to be lazy
I pepper sprayed him and kicked him
he took off in the other direction
this was a while ago


n


Posted By: Sleek
Date Posted: Dec 28 2013 at 5:42pm
Ignore them and KIM....plus I always walk with a "don't fuk with me face "


Posted By: khivey
Date Posted: Dec 28 2013 at 6:29pm
move to a predominately gay area....the men won't do it..and the women shouldn't be too bad


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Dec 28 2013 at 7:51pm
The only solution to this problem is to get a gun, mace, or a taser. Men won't learn to stop doing this until you tase the out of them.


Posted By: Printer_Ink
Date Posted: Dec 28 2013 at 7:54pm
Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

Hello BHM!

I'm currently undergoing a dilemma. For those of you who will take this as a shameless attempt at bragging, boosting myself, etc etc please exit. This is a serious post.

What do you do about catcalling in public? Some of it is fine e.g. simple compliments or what have you. But, I literally broke into tears when I came home from shopping because some old ass man literally followed me two blocks. He was talking with his friends and then they all began with the catcalls but I just kept it moving. Then I noticed one of them was following me. When I started to run, he quickened his pace. An older woman who was nearby actually had to walk me to my apartment because she realized what this crackhead was doing.

So what do you do? I was completely covered and make sure I am at all times when I go out now. I'm kind of at a loss. I've Googled other women's experiences and realized some women find comfort in sh*t like this happening but I do not. Help?


It's the culture. :(

I hate to say it but .. it's reason 156 I left the country.

That mess has not happened to me in years ... never will happen to me again as that is unheard of over here.

At least .. change your environment because you can't control EVERY guy that you might walk by everyday.


Posted By: SoutherNtellect
Date Posted: Dec 28 2013 at 8:09pm
i bought mace and a pocket knife. won't stop the catcalls. for that you need sh1t self esteem and to walk with your head down Sleepy


Posted By: Blac1Chyna
Date Posted: Dec 28 2013 at 8:25pm
I'm flattered. I'm so damn fine that causes you to lose your composure?

The only time I hate it is if the man is old. Then I will give him a rude nasty look


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Dec 28 2013 at 8:28pm
Originally posted by Blac1Chyna Blac1Chyna wrote:

I'm flattered. I'm so damn fine that causes you to lose your composure?

The only time I hate it is if the man is old. Then I will give him a rude nasty look


Blac I can't take
This ain't the tine for this


Posted By: MsBianca
Date Posted: Dec 28 2013 at 8:33pm
When I was married I would always smile politely, thank them 4 the compliment, and tell them I'm married. Did the trick most if the time.

When I got a divorce I quickly realized that I needed to follow the same protocol. So I keep a fake ring with me to use in certain situations. Crazy I know but it works well.


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Dec 28 2013 at 8:36pm
Completely different topic but most guys who flirt aren't mean or intimidating most of them if you decline or even ignore it they just let it go.

But this isn't one of those situations I think this guy is just crazy.


Posted By: femmemichelle
Date Posted: Dec 28 2013 at 8:50pm
My friends back home would laugh at me if I told them yall. This kind of behavior is unheard of. 

I honestly didn't know how to respond today when the other guy followed me and lectured me on not being stuck up. It's like one of those moments when you think back and realize all of the things you should've said but didn't. I should've lectured HIM on his arrogance/sense of entitlement. This is the same guy who one week ago when I was walking with my aunt grabbed my arm, told me he had a job, and his own place. Insinuating what? That you can take care of me and if we bumped uglies we'd be all alone in your dingy apartment? 

But nah. I just had this stupid grin on my face the whole time and started rolling my eyes when he got offensive. 

I guess I really am an e-thug because I was at a total loss for words. Why do people think things like this are OK?


Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Dec 28 2013 at 9:03pm
your area really does matter.. its kinda interesting. 

in my city guys are a lot more aggressive (not necessarily too aggressive though.. but they really go after what they want) but out here they're so meekish.. like if they don't get eye contact and a smile or signal.. most usually don't approach..   
tbh i thought it was me.. but when i go back to my city i see that its the area 


Posted By: purpulicious01
Date Posted: Dec 29 2013 at 6:50am
Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

My friends back home would laugh at me if I told them yall. This kind of behavior is unheard of. 

I honestly didn't know how to respond today when the other guy followed me and lectured me on not being stuck up. It's like one of those moments when you think back and realize all of the things you should've said but didn't. I should've lectured HIM on his arrogance/sense of entitlement. This is the same guy who one week ago when I was walking with my aunt grabbed my arm, told me he had a job, and his own place. Insinuating what? That you can take care of me and if we bumped uglies we'd be all alone in your dingy apartment? 

But nah. I just had this stupid grin on my face the whole time and started rolling my eyes when he got offensive. 

I guess I really am an e-thug because I was at a total loss for words. Why do people think things like this are OK?

^that's the problem - they don't think for themselves. 

These are just 'men' ( and I use that term loosely) who are acting exactly the way society has taught them to act- they think they are 'supposed to' act this way. Our society normalizes this ridiculous behavior and boys are taught to act this way by movies, by commercials, by music, by ads, etc. 

People need to start taking accountability. Even the men who don't catcall/act inappropriately towards women in public have a responsibility to speak up when they see it happening imo and to teach their sons that this is inappropriate and unacceptable behavior. 

And reading these posts/this thread is really disturbing - its sad seeing the lengths people have to take just to avoid people who act like they belong in a zoo. 



Posted By: purpulicious01
Date Posted: Dec 29 2013 at 7:15am
And sorry this happened to you OP, but to answer your question:

I usually don't get catcalls or inappropriate comments, but if I did, I would've just called them out on their sexual harassment and let them know that how they are acting isn't acceptable. If I see it happening to another women/girl, then I will usually call them out. 

If I were in your shoes and I noticed that I was being followed, since I can be a very direct and blunt person,  I prlly just would've taken out my camera and started taking pictures and video recording him, telling him that I was going to broadcast the pictures/video - to YT, the police, family/brothers/uncles (other MEN), etc - of the harassment. 

And you "being completely covered" is irrelevant - even women who are covered head to toe get sexually harassed. It boils down to the men being responsible for their behaviors. And you are right - I know of some women who do enjoy the catcalls- it's weird and beyond me, but I  think those women just suffer from low-self esteem and need validation from other ppl. 

It's sad because sometimes I see other women/girls get embarrassed and they don't know how to respond so they just giggle or laugh it off because they think guys are 'supposed' to act this way. 

Pardon the essay, but you opened a can of worms LOL I'm very passionate about this topic if you couldn't tell. 




Posted By: AwesomeAries
Date Posted: Dec 29 2013 at 2:46pm
op you need to get pepper spray or a stun gun
Usually I try to unnerve them
I would politely take out my pepper spray If need be to show them I am serious
I will also proceed to take off my earrings
I am not playing
you gone have to put in some work to attack me 


Posted By: DiorShowGirl
Date Posted: Dec 30 2013 at 12:31am
i remember many years ago me and my friend were walking down south street and the guys there were so bold to even grab u by your arm when u walk by to talk to you...it happened to  her and she told him ...u don't have to grab my arm to talk to me ...please go away....I forgot what happened after she said that to him but it was awful...


so sorry to read this happening to you..thank GOD that lady was there to intervene and help you with that situation...


Posted By: DiorShowGirl
Date Posted: Dec 30 2013 at 12:35am
Originally posted by purpulicious01 purpulicious01 wrote:

Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

My friends back home would laugh at me if I told them yall. This kind of behavior is unheard of. 

I honestly didn't know how to respond today when the other guy followed me and lectured me on not being stuck up. It's like one of those moments when you think back and realize all of the things you should've said but didn't. I should've lectured HIM on his arrogance/sense of entitlement. This is the same guy who one week ago when I was walking with my aunt grabbed my arm, told me he had a job, and his own place. Insinuating what? That you can take care of me and if we bumped uglies we'd be all alone in your dingy apartment? 

But nah. I just had this stupid grin on my face the whole time and started rolling my eyes when he got offensive. 

I guess I really am an e-thug because I was at a total loss for words. Why do people think things like this are OK?

^that's the problem - they don't think for themselves. 

These are just 'men' ( and I use that term loosely) who are acting exactly the way society has taught them to act- they think they are 'supposed to' act this way. Our society normalizes this ridiculous behavior and boys are taught to act this way by movies, by commercials, by music, by ads, etc. 

People need to start taking accountability. Even the men who don't catcall/act inappropriately towards women in public have a responsibility to speak up when they see it happening imo and to teach their sons that this is inappropriate and unacceptable behavior. 

And reading these posts/this thread is really disturbing - its sad seeing the lengths people have to take just to avoid people who act like they belong in a zoo. 




WTF???? girl did u let any family members know of this creep and his sexual actions towards u?

the same guy?????????????????????AngryAngryAngryShockedShockedShocked



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