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Is it harder for a man to be masculine or for a

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Printed Date: Nov 18 2017 at 2:32pm


Topic: Is it harder for a man to be masculine or for a
Posted By: patternsandtexture
Subject: Is it harder for a man to be masculine or for a
Date Posted: Dec 16 2013 at 8:01am
woman to be feminine?
 
     In today's world we are shifting gender roles and the imagine of masculinity and femininity are changing quite rapidly in modernized globalization. More than ever now are the roles of gender are being questioned and this haven't been in such degree since the rapid movement of patriarchal culture thousands of years ago replacing matriarchal societies. So what are your representation of masculinity and femininity and are those concepts that you drew from your own mind or from the culture around? If so and which is easier to attain according to the gender? And are gender roles need to stay the same or in constant need of  change and the ideology patriarchal ideology needs to be dismantled and broken down to a more egalitarian society?



Replies:
Posted By: patternsandtexture
Date Posted: Dec 16 2013 at 8:30am
Who one star this?


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Dec 16 2013 at 8:45am
Without playing the "who has it worse/easier" game, It's harder for people to just be themselves because of the bullsh!t roles/stereotypes that others try to place upon them.

Tangent: Before anything, people need to aspire to mutual honesty, understanding and respect when it comes to others. Then we can move on from concerns with trival sh!t like opening doors, offering seats and picking up tabs and move on to more important things like stopping street harassment and starting equal pay.


Posted By: patternsandtexture
Date Posted: Dec 16 2013 at 9:05am
Originally posted by nekamarie83 nekamarie83 wrote:

Without playing the "who has it worse/easier" game, It's harder for people to just be themselves because of the bullsh!t roles/stereotypes that others try to place upon them.

Tangent: Before anything, people need to aspire to mutual honesty, understanding and respect when it comes to others. Then we can move on from concerns with trival sh!t like opening doors, offering seats and picking up tabs and move on to more important things like stopping street harassment and starting equal pay.
 
My thoughts exactly! Clap
I had some men who were going crazy because I told them that women deserve equal pay and they were like for what and telling me irrationally why women shouldn't be equal to men. Sleepy


Posted By: patternsandtexture
Date Posted: Dec 16 2013 at 3:58pm
Bump


Posted By: liesnalibis
Date Posted: Dec 16 2013 at 4:25pm
I think it's a lot easier to be feminine because you really don't have to anything to be feminine. Guys are expected to act a certain way though.


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Dec 16 2013 at 6:06pm
Originally posted by liesnalibis liesnalibis wrote:

I think it's a lot easier to be feminine because you really don't have to anything to be feminine. Guys are expected to act a certain way though.
please clarify? 


Posted By: HaitianDiva64
Date Posted: Dec 16 2013 at 6:44pm
I would say depends on the setting


Posted By: SN2BPHD
Date Posted: Dec 16 2013 at 6:51pm
Would not know. I have never been a man.


Would like to try it for a day though.


Posted By: Jess
Date Posted: Dec 16 2013 at 8:41pm
I think BM are hypermasculinized. 
BW always have that strong black women stereotype. 
 
I think you have to do a lot of be seen as feminine.  I mean you can wear a skirt and bow, but it's irrelevant if you "act" masculine.

But overall I don't think it's hard to be masculine or feminine.  To be seen as such? Idk


Posted By: liesnalibis
Date Posted: Dec 16 2013 at 9:50pm
Originally posted by nekamarie83 nekamarie83 wrote:

Originally posted by liesnalibis liesnalibis wrote:

I think it's a lot easier to be feminine because you really don't have to anything to be feminine. Guys are expected to act a certain way though.
please clarify? 

I mean women can just live their life and still be seen as feminine. Sure, we have to do certain things to be seen as attractive, but that's separate altogether. But men have all these standards and expectations. Eg don't let anyone disrespect you, put women first, take care of your family, have and don't have certain mannerisms or you'll be seen as possibly gay, step up when someone needs help that requires stregth or you'll be seen as a coward, don't hit women even if they hit you, if you see another man hurting a woman intervene, etc. Men have a lot of expectations placed upon them. All women really have to do is be themselves assuming we have feminine mannerisms anyway.


Posted By: oh_so_moody
Date Posted: Dec 16 2013 at 10:08pm
Harder to be feminine.


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Dec 16 2013 at 10:30pm
Originally posted by liesnalibis liesnalibis wrote:

I mean women can just live their life and still be seen as feminine. Sure, we have to do certain things to be seen as attractive, but that's separate altogether. But men have all these standards and expectations. Eg don't let anyone disrespect you, put women first, take care of your family, have and don't have certain mannerisms or you'll be seen as possibly gay, step up when someone needs help that requires stregth or you'll be seen as a coward, don't hit women even if they hit you, if you see another man hurting a woman intervene, etc. Men have a lot of expectations placed upon them. All women really have to do is be themselves assuming we have feminine mannerisms anyway.
Oh ok. Yeah, I disagree.


Posted By: liesnalibis
Date Posted: Dec 16 2013 at 11:21pm
Originally posted by nekamarie83 nekamarie83 wrote:

Originally posted by liesnalibis liesnalibis wrote:

I mean women can just live their life and still be seen as feminine. Sure, we have to do certain things to be seen as attractive, but that's separate altogether. But men have all these standards and expectations. Eg don't let anyone disrespect you, put women first, take care of your family, have and don't have certain mannerisms or you'll be seen as possibly gay, step up when someone needs help that requires stregth or you'll be seen as a coward, don't hit women even if they hit you, if you see another man hurting a woman intervene, etc. Men have a lot of expectations placed upon them. All women really have to do is be themselves assuming we have feminine mannerisms anyway.
Oh ok. Yeah, I disagree.

Why?


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Dec 16 2013 at 11:48pm
Originally posted by liesnalibis liesnalibis wrote:

Why?
short of the long of it, i think both sides have respective difficulties and femininity is being over simplified in your clarification. 

we don't just show up and be seen as feminine. if we were, quite a few industries (fashion, makeup, cosmetic surgery, to name a few) would not have as much money or power as they do. 

and we have plenty of expectations-- how we walk, talk, eat, dress, look, live, fcuk, and more... all under the concept of being a lady. 


Posted By: ThABxBoRoUgH
Date Posted: Dec 17 2013 at 12:17am
Its definitely "harder" for a man to be masculine for sure. Men have to fit into this box of what it is to be a man. Being a man is not being a women, not being gay, etc. When you step out of those confines as a man, you are immediately put in check by men, women, and society at large. There is a culture of hegemonic masculinity that men are pressured into performing. Word to Sociology on this one. 


Posted By: liesnalibis
Date Posted: Dec 17 2013 at 3:01am
Originally posted by ThABxBoRoUgH ThABxBoRoUgH wrote:

Its definitely "harder" for a man to be masculine for sure. Men have to fit into this box of what it is to be a man. Being a man is not being a women, not being gay, etc. When you step out of those confines as a man, you are immediately put in check by men, women, and society at large. There is a culture of hegemonic masculinity that men are pressured into performing. Word to Sociology on this one. 

I agree. Being a man is considered a step above being a woman. Which is why we hear things like "Now that's a real man!" "Stop bitching and be a man!" "Stop acting like a female/hoe/bitch/etc!" "Most of these black men didn't have fathers in their lives so they don't know how to be men."

Feminine is considered the default state of being. You have to step up if you want to be considered masculine.



Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: Dec 17 2013 at 4:10am
Originally posted by liesnalibis liesnalibis wrote:

I think it's a lot easier to be feminine because you really don't have to anything to be feminine. Guys are expected to act a certain way though.


We're expected to be perfect all the time while dealing with hypocritical standards, unnecessary policing of our bodies, unspoken responsibility of the male in cases of sexual violence, and dichotomous standards in general to balance, all with less pay and we don't have to do anything to be feminine? LOL


Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: Dec 17 2013 at 4:14am
Originally posted by liesnalibis liesnalibis wrote:

Originally posted by ThABxBoRoUgH ThABxBoRoUgH wrote:

Its definitely "harder" for a man to be masculine for sure. Men have to fit into this box of what it is to be a man. Being a man is not being a women, not being gay, etc. When you step out of those confines as a man, you are immediately put in check by men, women, and society at large. There is a culture of hegemonic masculinity that men are pressured into performing. Word to Sociology on this one. 

I agree. Being a man is considered a step above being a woman. Which is why we hear things like "Now that's a real man!" "Stop bitching and be a man!" "Stop acting like a female/hoe/bitch/etc!" "Most of these black men didn't have fathers in their lives so they don't know how to be men."

Feminine is considered the default state of being. You have to step up if you want to be considered masculine.



Now that you elaborated, I do see your point. I do think men have more restricting expectations because its clear masculinity has a very linear and caricaturized image. It's also so ironic that masculinity is upheld as strong and superior yet femininity in its perceived inferiority can easily compromise the strong and infallible masculinity.

I think.. men have overly linear and high expectations while women have ridiculous and dichotomous expectations, hopefully I'm discerning this correctly.


Posted By: liesnalibis
Date Posted: Dec 17 2013 at 4:15am
Originally posted by Midna Midna wrote:

Originally posted by liesnalibis liesnalibis wrote:

I think it's a lot easier to be feminine because you really don't have to anything to be feminine. Guys are expected to act a certain way though.


We're expected to be perfect all the time while dealing with hypocritical standards, unnecessary policing of our bodies, unspoken responsibility of the male in cases of sexual violence, and dichotomous standards in general to balance, all with less pay and we don't have to do anything to be feminine? LOL

Feminine as in woman-like? No, we don't have to do anything.

"Is it hard to be perceived as feminine?" is a totally separate question to me from "Is is hard being a woman?"


Posted By: liesnalibis
Date Posted: Dec 17 2013 at 4:17am
Originally posted by Midna Midna wrote:

Originally posted by liesnalibis liesnalibis wrote:

Originally posted by ThABxBoRoUgH ThABxBoRoUgH wrote:

Its definitely "harder" for a man to be masculine for sure. Men have to fit into this box of what it is to be a man. Being a man is not being a women, not being gay, etc. When you step out of those confines as a man, you are immediately put in check by men, women, and society at large. There is a culture of hegemonic masculinity that men are pressured into performing. Word to Sociology on this one. 

I agree. Being a man is considered a step above being a woman. Which is why we hear things like "Now that's a real man!" "Stop bitching and be a man!" "Stop acting like a female/hoe/bitch/etc!" "Most of these black men didn't have fathers in their lives so they don't know how to be men."

Feminine is considered the default state of being. You have to step up if you want to be considered masculine.



Now that you elaborated, I do see your point. I do think men have more restricting expectations because its clear masculinity has a very linear and caricaturized image. It's also so ironic that masculinity is upheld as strong and superior yet femininity in its perceived inferiority can easily compromise the strong and infallible masculinity.

I think.. men have overly linear and high expectations while women have ridiculous and dichotomous expectations, hopefully I'm discerning this correctly.

All this is expected of men compared with women is rather insulting to women imo. We're not expected to be leaders.


Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: Dec 17 2013 at 4:24am
Originally posted by liesnalibis liesnalibis wrote:

Originally posted by Midna Midna wrote:

Originally posted by liesnalibis liesnalibis wrote:

I think it's a lot easier to be feminine because you really don't have to anything to be feminine. Guys are expected to act a certain way though.


We're expected to be perfect all the time while dealing with hypocritical standards, unnecessary policing of our bodies, unspoken responsibility of the male in cases of sexual violence, and dichotomous standards in general to balance, all with less pay and we don't have to do anything to be feminine? LOL

Feminine as in woman-like? No, we don't have to do anything.

"Is it hard to be perceived as feminine?" is a totally separate question to me from "Is is hard being a woman?"


Then forget my previous post. LOL However, I think I still do partially disagree because inherent femininity seems to be subjective, especially by race. Like take us for example, we are stereotyped to be masculine and all sorts of demonizing thing because we are black women. While black males are hypermasculinized and celebrated for such reasons, black women are perceived to be masculine and aggressive females thus making us undesirable. Even though it's evident this is such a stupid assumption to make with all the feminine black women out there, we're expected to fit a masculine box.

Even to the feminine black women out there, let them show any sign of life outside their portrayed femininity and they immediately get dismissed as masculine and deemed typical. Because of these expectations by default, black women have to do twice as much to be perceived as feminine. So to say we don't have to do anything to be feminine, I can't say I fully agree.

Maybe to a white woman or even an Asian woman, perceived femininity would require very little to be achieved. But that is certainly not the case for all.


Posted By: Sang Froid
Date Posted: Dec 17 2013 at 5:09am
Black women are seen as masculine, tho. 
And I'm quite alright with that. 


Posted By: patternsandtexture
Date Posted: Dec 17 2013 at 6:29am
Hmmm, good discussion.


Posted By: liesnalibis
Date Posted: Dec 17 2013 at 7:15am
Aww I don't think black women are seen as masculine.  Sometimes we're seen as over feminized. If someone mocked a stereotypical black woman's speech and mannerisms nothing would be masculine about it, just ghetto.




Posted By: HunnyB
Date Posted: Dec 17 2013 at 7:48am
I think it's harder for women to be maintained

...most men don't need to cowash 3-4 times a week, comb their hair, deep condition, get their nails manicured, wear heels, etc.

Men aren't judged as hard when it comes to their looks.



Posted By: patternsandtexture
Date Posted: Dec 17 2013 at 8:02am
I think it's the same. Men are judged for appearances just not as hashly as women. But we are judge by being masculine and strong and not showing not one sign of weakness.



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