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He cheated and I want him to

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Category: Lets Talk
Forum Name: Relationships
Forum Description: Single, Married, Dating, or Other, Lets Talk About It.
URL: http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=366696
Printed Date: Jun 23 2018 at 3:32pm


Topic: He cheated and I want him to
Posted By: JustMe90
Subject: He cheated and I want him to
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 5:41pm
Okay so my s/o has cheated and I have since "forgiven" him. I believe in forgiveness and I strongly feel as if our love is worth saving, so your opinion on why I forgave...blah blah blah is not needed. I'm asking...do you think it's too far left for me to ask that he dead the relationship in front of me. Like call her and do it in my presence? Just for my own satisfaction? Or should I just trust him? No smart or snide remarks, please!!!



Replies:
Posted By: blaquefoxx
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 5:48pm
Originally posted by JustMe90 JustMe90 wrote:

Okay so my s/o has cheated and I have since "forgiven" him. I believe in forgiveness and I strongly feel as if our love is worth saving, so your opinion on why I forgave...blah blah blah is not needed. I'm asking...do you think it's too far left for me to ask that he dead the relationship in front of me. Like call her and do it in my presence? Just for my own satisfaction? Or should I just trust him? No smart or snide remarks, please!!!
Super extra. Even if he'd agreed, it wouldn't seem sincere...at least not to me.

When you forgave him, that should have been his cue to drop that heaux (or heauxs). But negroes like to play games these days and act dumb, so I'm not at all shocked at your request. If you need extra validation after forgiving him and so-called "moving on" maybe you guys should end it. How long have yall been together?




Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 5:51pm
It's so extra and unnecessary....

I would feel some type of way if my boo tried to make me call the person I was cheating with lol If I said I ended it, you should take my word for it or leave.




Posted By: lala71848
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 5:52pm
If you feel as though that will make you feel better , and you can be able to go on with your relationship then yes! cause then you will still have it in the back of your head that hes still messing with her.


Posted By: tatee
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 5:53pm
do what you feel comfortable with im sure he will.


Posted By: JustMe90
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 5:53pm
Okay...I just wants wanted to know if I was being extra and unnecessary after the fact. Thanks ladies.


Posted By: Butta Cookie
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 5:55pm
*takes a seat*


Posted By: sugabanana
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 5:57pm
I would still be traumatised at the cheating. You don't need to ask him to break it off infront of you cos the other chick will feel like its a challenge to try and still mess with him even after the clear warning. JMO.


Posted By: naturesgift
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 5:59pm
What is really the point of asking us? If you have really forgiven him thien its time to start FRESH! dont worry about the past- but to be honest if you need the reasureance then you really have not forgiven him.


Posted By: JustMe90
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 6:03pm
Regardless as to what is said or not I'll have my own opinion..but this is a public forum and I wanted to see what other women had to say.......


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 6:09pm
Even if he did it aint like its gonna stop it from continuing  cause you aint going no where so why bother....would hurt cha feelings if the  other chick should laughed cause she knew brah gonna be nose deep in the pumpum in a matter of days... jus sayin






Posted By: Butta Cookie
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 6:10pm
GK let me see your cheek piercings!


Posted By: joileprincess
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 6:17pm
That stunt wouldn't prove anything. He would just tell her that you were tripping and he had to do it to calm you down. And you'll believe in what he did because you want to. 


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 6:19pm
Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:

Even if he did it aint like its gonna stop it from continuing  cause you aint going no where so why bother....would hurt cha feelings if the  other chick should laughed cause she knew brah gonna be nose deep in the pumpum in a matter of days... jus sayin









Posted By: HaitianDiva64
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 6:22pm
How long has it been since you found out how did you catch him


Posted By: Gia2009
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 6:23pm
No sense in making him call her and end it in front of you, because the  sideline heaux will just think that he is doing it to pacify you and he will still keep seeing her. Sidelines don't care about your relationship! Either trust him wholeheartedly and take his word until he gives you another reason not to trust him, or just leave him!


Posted By: Diane (35)
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 6:26pm
Originally posted by joileprincess joileprincess wrote:

That stunt wouldn't prove anything. He would just tell her that you were tripping and he had to do it to calm you down. And you'll believe in what he did because you want to. 

This^^^^^^^^ He's gonna do a risk assessment and figure the other lady will probably stay around even if he pulls this stunt. Esp. if she knew about you. The things he may be telling her about you may cause you to fall down if you were to ever hear.Ouch Man i've witnessed nuff things but I won't derail your thread.

How long have you been with him? Have you gotten tested? How did you find out?

Why aren't you slaughtering his ass? Or plotting some cold revenge?ConfusedConfused I'm kidding, maybe

ETA Yuppppp at Gkisses



Posted By: HaitianDiva64
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 6:27pm
Does the girl know she's tye other woman?


Posted By: Im_oh_so_hott
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 6:29pm
I'm gonna go with the majority on this one and say .. 1. Its Extra and 2. Don't mean it'll stop nothing

and i'm gonna add, it may bring more drama


Posted By: thewonderfulwa
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 6:29pm
Sounds like a waste of time some things should just be known all communication betta cease.


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 6:31pm
@BC.....I'll post/send a pic when the puffiness goes down in a few more days. Wink





Posted By: Katrenia
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 6:31pm
It's not about the other woman, it's about your man.
If you don't trust that he won't cheat again, why forgive him????????


Posted By: Butta Cookie
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 6:34pm
Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:

@BC.....I'll post/send a pic when the puffiness goes down in a few more days. Wink






Sweet! Make sure your hair and boobies are in the pic too. K thx bye!


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 6:35pm
Am I the only one who assumes that when a person gets caught cheating 9 times out of 10 theres more than just 1 person their cheating with?...Like for real ...Ole girl a pawn in a game and she thing shes holding all the cards..when dude is the one pulling the strings.




Posted By: niecy
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 6:36pm
If you're asking him to do all of that then that means you haven't truly forgiven him like you claim you have.


Posted By: Brjasuga51
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 6:36pm
U doing too much. If he found her behind your back ...he will find another behind your back. And he probably told the chick that he might have to pull this stunt to make u feel happy.ijs


Posted By: Brjasuga51
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 6:37pm
Originally posted by Butta Cookie Butta Cookie wrote:

Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:

@BC.....I'll post/send a pic when the puffiness goes down in a few more days. Wink






Sweet! Make sure your hair and boobies are in the pic too. K thx bye!
ONLY BUTTTAAAAAAA...LOLOL....GOT TO LUV U


Posted By: gemini1591
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 6:42pm
don't do it. she may something that's really gonna hurt you. if you've already decided to forgive him then you have to let it go or let him go


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 6:43pm
Originally posted by Katrenia Katrenia wrote:

It's not about the other woman, it's about your man.
If you don't trust that he won't cheat again, why forgive him????????


Xmas is right around the corner...Maybe she holding out til Dec 26th.

LOL@BC ...OkayLOL


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 6:45pm
Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:

Am I the only one who assumes that when a person gets caught cheating 9 times out of 10 theres more than just 1 person their cheating with?...Like for real ...Ole girl a pawn in a game and she thing shes holding all the cards..when dude is the one pulling the strings.
Nope. Usually there is another skeleton in the closet somewhere waiting to fall out.Ouch


Posted By: thewonderfulwa
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 6:46pm
What if she tells you things you dont know do you think you can handle it even though youve forgiven him ???
Don't open that can of worms if she still wants the D she will go with whatever he tells her.


Posted By: Im_oh_so_hott
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 6:50pm
What if she's pregnant .... or what if they're married


Posted By: melikey
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 6:57pm
How is he forgiven if he had not ended things before your discussion?
He has a woman that he needs to break things off with, like right this minute? Like present tense? Your man has 2 women?


Posted By: tropical-punch
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 7:00pm
Stern Smile


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 7:05pm
What if youre the jumpoff and shes the main chickStern Smile


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 7:05pm
Originally posted by melikey melikey wrote:

How is he forgiven if he had not ended things before your discussion?
He has a woman that he needs to break things off with, like right this minute? Like present tense? Your man has 2 women?


That's a good question lol


Posted By: bunzaveli
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 7:05pm
Originally posted by JustMe90 JustMe90 wrote:

Okay so my s/o has cheated and I have since "forgiven" him.


if you cheated do you think he'd forgive you ?


Posted By: liesnalibis
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 7:06pm
Nasty.


Posted By: OrriannaRose
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 7:07pm
Drop that heaux before he gives you something you can't get rid of! I am sure she's not the only one.


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 7:12pm
I would request all the info about the bitch and ruin her life.
Have her facebook hacked, make fun of her on her tumblr, save her pictures and then post them on websites with her number as some wh*re looking for sex... I would ruin her.


But I don't find unreasonable at all what you asked BUT it does not mean that he meant anything he said when he says it to her. He can say he is done in front of you, and then later call her and say "that bitch made me do it! i hate her! she was threatening to kill herself blablabla" and the girl would believe it.

so, destroying her, really forgiving both of them, or dumping him are the best choices.


Posted By: Im_oh_so_hott
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 7:13pm
Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

I would request all the info about the bitch and ruin her life.
Have her facebook hacked, make fun of her on her tumblr, save her pictures and then post them on websites with her number as some wh*re looking for sex... I would ruin her.


But I don't find unreasonable at all what you asked BUT it does not mean that he meant anything he said when he says it to her. He can say he is done in front of you, and then later call her and say "that bitch made me do it! i hate her! she was threatening to kill herself blablabla" and the girl would believe it.

so, destroying her, really forgiving both of them, or dumping him are the best choices.




Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 7:14pm
Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:

Am I the only one who assumes that when a person gets caught cheating 9 times out of 10 theres more than just 1 person their cheating with?...Like for real ...Ole girl a pawn in a game and she thing shes holding all the cards..when dude is the one pulling the strings.





This.


OP, do yourself a favor and do a STD test, just to be extra safe.


Posted By: HaitianDiva64
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 7:26pm
Lml.

See what happens now you the side chick in a line of side chicks that might have a vd.

What if he really cwlls a homeboys sister and pretends it's the other chick


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 7:31pm
Originally posted by HaitianDiva64 HaitianDiva64 wrote:



What if he really cwlls a homeboys sister and pretends it's the other chick


So true! The girl will totally pretend to be crying and sad and do some drama and then you'll be satisfied.....









...thinking that he is no longer getting his d!ck wet somewhere else.




Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 7:48pm
Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

I would request all the info about the bitch and ruin her life.
Have her facebook hacked, make fun of her on her tumblr, save her pictures and then post them on websites with her number as some wh*re looking for sex... I would ruin her.


But I don't find unreasonable at all what you asked BUT it does not mean that he meant anything he said when he says it to her. He can say he is done in front of you, and then later call her and say "that bitch made me do it! i hate her! she was threatening to kill herself blablabla" and the girl would believe it.

so, destroying her, really forgiving both of them, or dumping him are the best choices.



So you would do all this to a chick that promised you nothing but still lay with the man who promised to be faithful?




Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 7:55pm
Too much.

(and that would embarrass me)
eta: ^^all of it


Posted By: sunshine321511
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 7:57pm
Even if the boyfriend called the mistress in front of the main girlfriend....what would that really prove.  Nowadays, it so much scamming, people acting like they not together...when they are....words mean absolutely nothing to me...not one thing.....women will act like...I don't want him, I'm not messing with him...and all the while...they are both still sucking and fuxking....
 
Either you trust and forgive ....or you don't.....
 
Either a person accept their words, forgives and gives them 1 more chance....then if they are caught again...its a rap.
 
 


Posted By: OoDles O
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 8:10pm
DTM... IMO

Being his woman is cool if you trust him.
but being his parole officer... yeah, might be a little much.

and thanks for making this sacrificial thread


Posted By: SoutherNtellect
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 8:12pm
Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:

Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

I would request all the info about the bitch and ruin her life.
Have her facebook hacked, make fun of her on her tumblr, save her pictures and then post them on websites with her number as some wh*re looking for sex... I would ruin her.


But I don't find unreasonable at all what you asked BUT it does not mean that he meant anything he said when he says it to her. He can say he is done in front of you, and then later call her and say "that bitch made me do it! i hate her! she was threatening to kill herself blablabla" and the girl would believe it.

so, destroying her, really forgiving both of them, or dumping him are the best choices.



So you would do all this to a chick that promised you nothing but still lay with the man who promised to be faithful?



maybe that's why she doesn't have any friends 


Posted By: beebeexx
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 8:16pm
^^^^ Dead real tears


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 8:18pm


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 8:19pm
Originally posted by BBpants BBpants wrote:

Cry


Posted By: Im_oh_so_hott
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 8:22pm
Originally posted by SoutherNtellect SoutherNtellect wrote:

Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:

Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

I would request all the info about the bitch and ruin her life.
Have her facebook hacked, make fun of her on her tumblr, save her pictures and then post them on websites with her number as some wh*re looking for sex... I would ruin her.


But I don't find unreasonable at all what you asked BUT it does not mean that he meant anything he said when he says it to her. He can say he is done in front of you, and then later call her and say "that bitch made me do it! i hate her! she was threatening to kill herself blablabla" and the girl would believe it.

so, destroying her, really forgiving both of them, or dumping him are the best choices.



So you would do all this to a chick that promised you nothing but still lay with the man who promised to be faithful?




maybe that's why she doesn't have any friends 


I thought, and i pray that she was being sarcastic


Posted By: browneyez4548
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 8:47pm
I have this long response in my head, but I'm too lazy to type it

In conclusion though:

That phone call won't mean sh*t...

"Forgiving" a cheater is a slippery slope, are you sure the relationship is worth it or are you afraid to start over?


Posted By: AmiliaCabral
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 8:49pm
he'd have to skate


Posted By: SN2BPHD
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 8:57pm
He should do whatever you want at this point.


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 8:59pm
Originally posted by SoutherNtellect SoutherNtellect wrote:


maybe that's why she doesn't have any friends 





Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 9:06pm
People in here fronting......BHM....loves to act......not everyone but 75%


I'd make his ass do it and still drop him......maybe play nice till after V-day.....or after you start dating a new dude....


Posted By: ShadyLady
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 9:12pm
Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

I would request all the info about the bitch and ruin her life.
Have her facebook hacked, make fun of her on her tumblr, save her pictures and then post them on websites with her number as some wh*re looking for sex... I would ruin her.


But I don't find unreasonable at all what you asked BUT it does not mean that he meant anything he said when he says it to her. He can say he is done in front of you, and then later call her and say "that bitch made me do it! i hate her! she was threatening to kill herself blablabla" and the girl would believe it.

so, destroying her, really forgiving both of them, or dumping him are the best choices.


"Destroying her", especially with such childish methods, is almost as silly as thinking a man won't cheat anymore cuz you make him place a phone call.

He probably sold her the same dream he sold you so why would the other woman be anyone's focus?

Anyway to the OP, don't bother, cuz if he really wants her he'll just end up taking y'all money to buy her something nice.


Posted By: Diane (35)
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 9:16pm
Yeaaaaaa Mizzzz! but you know how we do on BHM. For me Its either slaughter fools or create a master plan. Then i would do the revenge is success bid. But i have to clap back

Now i would roll with my girls to whoop anybody's ass and they would with me too. Except that one level headed trick who has the bail money and the right numbers in her phone.Stern Smile

Lawyer on speed dial. Cops in the top pocket. throw away SIM cards at the ready and a fleet of vehicles at my disposal. 

This reminds me of when Yassy and her friend went to "cut a witch" over her then BF, she caught a charge LMAOOOOOOO. He later became her hubby.


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 9:20pm
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

People in here fronting......BHM....loves to act......not everyone but 75%


I'd make his ass do it and still drop him......maybe play nice till after V-day.....or after you start dating a new dude....
Whatever do you mean my dear sweet Sandra?Embarrassed


Posted By: Diane (35)
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 9:26pm
CC now you well an' know, trying to stir the pot I see.

Seriously OP I beg of you to get tested for EVERYTHING. Please
Herpes 1 and 2
HIV
Chlamydia
Syphilis
Gonorrhea
Trichomoniasis
get a Pap Smear as well- HPV
Hepatitis
and re test in 3 months or so


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 9:31pm
Originally posted by carolina cutie carolina cutie wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

People in here fronting......BHM....loves to act......not everyone but 75%


I'd make his ass do it and still drop him......maybe play nice till after V-day.....or after you start dating a new dude....
Whatever do you mean my dear sweet Sandra?Embarrassed



Many lies were told in these 7 pages......I don't know who and how many but statistically these heifers is lying......


Posted By: khivey
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 9:40pm
So you really didn't forgive him. You just forgave him to appease him and because you want to still be with him. He can call her in front of you all he wants..that still won't do it for you. Because you didn't allow yourself time to truly heal from what happened. No you shouldn't have him do that. You need to work through your own issues..and if you still have a feeling he is still doing the same thing, well....


Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 9:45pm
i feel like if it would make you feel better to see/hear him do it… go for it. 

at this point he should be willing to do anything to make you feel more at ease.. 
it being extra is irrelevant.. he has been playing you so you deserve to be as extra as you wanna be. 


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 9:50pm
Originally posted by coconess coconess wrote:

i feel like if it would make you feel better to see/hear him do it… go for it. 

at this point he should be willing to do anything to make you feel more at ease.. 
it being extra is irrelevant.. he has been playing you so you deserve to be as extra as you wanna be. 



We agree!

Balls in your court.....my advice.....jewelry.......pain killers......cause when you dump his ass you can pawn it and hop a flight......


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 9:54pm
It won't do you any good girl.

I don't see the point of the dog and pony show.

You're trying to work on the relationship after he cheated ok.... But this?
It won't make you feel better.

It honestly sounds silly .
And it ain't ever been serious to stay with a dirty negro just for V day.

You think you have a relationship worth working on ..cool.
But all that other stuff is a firm naw


Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 9:57pm
didnt read 

But nowadays people are extra grimey and these two will tell you what you want to hear and still continue the relationship 

But nothing wrong with making them go through the motions 

I'd make an exit plan, because you know that there's more drama/women to come

But at least the break will be on our terms and you'll have closure 

I wouldn't consider this gesture the end of his infidelity, you'll set yourself up for disappointment thinking otherwise 








Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 9:59pm
Plus if he was gonna do it then he would.

You having to make him call in front of you????

Girl!!

I wonder what I would do if I found out my sugar pop cantaloupe cheated....
Lort...


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 10:05pm
Mugs giving advice that have never been in your shoes.......interesting.


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 10:07pm
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Originally posted by carolina cutie carolina cutie wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

People in here fronting......BHM....loves to act......not everyone but 75%


I'd make his ass do it and still drop him......maybe play nice till after V-day.....or after you start dating a new dude....
Whatever do you mean my dear sweet Sandra?Embarrassed



Many lies were told in these 7 pages......I don't know who and how many but statistically these heifers is lying......
I need deets to fully grasp this situation. It's a cold rainy night and this thread has a lot of potential.Evil Smile




Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 10:09pm
That shh aint gonna make her feel better...lol if it does be ready to repeat that shh over and over again. Chicks who feel  comfort in that will always find themselves in *&%^$#@Eed up situations because their priorities are in the wrong place. It aint punishing him or preventing him from smashing the next chick or other chicks u dont know he already smashing. Just end the sh1t and move on....Fighting for dudes that aint worth a damn aint neva been on my to do list. .....Dont let the dick kill ya common sense.


Posted By: **Sk!TtLeS B**
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 10:11pm
Girl, he obviously didn't feel y'alls love was worth saving, so why do you? Doing this high school sh*t is only gonna yield more high school drama. He's gon be balls deep in that girl's (or the next's) cooch in a business week, sorry.


Posted By: Spokenword
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 10:20pm
ironically enough, a good friend of mine was on the "recieving" end of this situation where a guy she was seeing had a girl (he was seeing both of them and i guess she was his main girl) the girl had him call my friend with her on three-way to deny that they had something going on and all this other stuff.

the ironic part is, years later, my friend is now married to dude.  

i know crazy, but what it shows me is it does not matter if he calls her or not. if you accepted him back, then HE needs to work on earning your trust back. i don't know if calling home girl is the answer or not but all i know is if you did decide to forgive him, atleast make him WORK for your trust again.

good luck! sounds like you may have given in too early and are still unsure and uneasy.  the relationship will not be the same if you cant trust him again.



Posted By: liesnalibis
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 10:24pm
Originally posted by SoutherNtellect SoutherNtellect wrote:

Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:

Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

I would request all the info about the bitch and ruin her life.
Have her facebook hacked, make fun of her on her tumblr, save her pictures and then post them on websites with her number as some wh*re looking for sex... I would ruin her.


But I don't find unreasonable at all what you asked BUT it does not mean that he meant anything he said when he says it to her. He can say he is done in front of you, and then later call her and say "that bitch made me do it! i hate her! she was threatening to kill herself blablabla" and the girl would believe it.

so, destroying her, really forgiving both of them, or dumping him are the best choices.



So you would do all this to a chick that promised you nothing but still lay with the man who promised to be faithful?



maybe that's why she doesn't have any friends 

Y'all at it again huh? 


Posted By: liesnalibis
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 10:29pm
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Mugs giving advice that have never been in your shoes.......interesting.

I'm getting the distinct impression this has happened to you before. Geek


Posted By: melikey
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 10:32pm
I think plenty of people have done pretty reckless things after finding out about cheating, that doesn't mean that it was a good idea or that we'd recommend it to anyone else.


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 10:33pm
Originally posted by liesnalibis liesnalibis wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Mugs giving advice that have never been in your shoes.......interesting.


I'm getting the distinct impression this has happened to you before. Geek


You must be a genius.....


Posted By: ShadyLady
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 10:35pm
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Mugs giving advice that have never been in your shoes.......interesting.


I've been on both sides of the fence.

My ex took me to the dude's apartment to make me say I was done in front of him, and my ass was right back over there the next night.

Me and dude I cheated with have been together a year and a half now.

Fall for that fanfare if you want to OP *shrugs*.



Posted By: eanaj5
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 10:37pm
Im convinced this was a bait thread
OP couldnt have possibly expected any good to come of hitting that "post" button Stern Smile


Posted By: melikey
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 10:37pm
I do have to say I've never had a man tell me he cheated.
Honesty about doing dirt doesn't get any respect around here and they all ready knew it.


Posted By: Sang Froid
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 10:39pm
There are millions of other men out here to love.
If he ain't rich....iono why you with him.


Posted By: newin2009
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 10:42pm
Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:

That shh aint gonna make her feel better...lol if it does be ready to repeat that shh over and over again. Chicks who feel  comfort in that will always find themselves in *&%^$#@Eed up situations because their priorities are in the wrong place. It aint punishing him or preventing him from smashing the next chick or other chicks u dont know he already smashing. Just end the sh1t and move on....Fighting for dudes that aint worth a damn aint neva been on my to do list. .....Dont let the dick kill ya common sense.
Thanked.


Posted By: liesnalibis
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 11:09pm
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Originally posted by liesnalibis liesnalibis wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Mugs giving advice that have never been in your shoes.......interesting.


I'm getting the distinct impression this has happened to you before. Geek


You must be a genius.....

So you loved your man enough to forgive him unconditionally? Or only with special stipulations like the OP?


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 11:18pm
Originally posted by liesnalibis liesnalibis wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Originally posted by liesnalibis liesnalibis wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Mugs giving advice that have never been in your shoes.......interesting.


I'm getting the distinct impression this has happened to you before. Geek


You must be a genius.....


So you loved your man enough to forgive him unconditionally? Or only with special stipulations like the OP?




Hell naw I left that negro in the worst way......but at the moment I did make him my bitch...when I was no longer amused I dropped his ass....no reason no closure no nothing.....


Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 11:24pm
diane told you to get tested and I agree

Do that tomorrow before doing anything else




Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 11:36pm
I agree.....get tested.


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Dec 08 2013 at 11:36pm
*shrug* Everything gkisses said. Yes op, you're extra.

[sassy] Look at your life. Look at your choices. [/gay friend]

To add: No. I've not been in the situation. I would've just broken up with the guy and called it a day. If I can't trust you, TF are we doin together? And the one poster going after the side chick? Nah. Focus ya energy on ya dog ass man.


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Dec 09 2013 at 12:53am
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

 
Hell naw I left that negro in the worst way......but at the moment I did make him my bitch...when I was no longer amused I dropped his ass....no reason no closure no nothing.....

Clap
(that sounds like funWink)


Posted By: patternsandtexture
Date Posted: Dec 09 2013 at 5:54am
Is he light skin and from Canada? This might be the reason why?


Posted By: Ms_Kudos
Date Posted: Dec 09 2013 at 8:01am
Ya'll do realize OP stopped responding on the first page, right?
I mean all this other banter is amusing, but she nah reading this advice.


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Dec 09 2013 at 8:05am
Originally posted by Ms_Kudos Ms_Kudos wrote:

Ya'll do realize OP stopped responding on the first page, right?
I mean all this other banter is amusing, but she nah reading this advice.




lol
that ain't never stopped anybody on here before





Posted By: EasterBell
Date Posted: Dec 09 2013 at 8:49am
nvm


Posted By: Printer_Ink
Date Posted: Dec 09 2013 at 9:21am
I think the OP wanted everyone to agree with this nonsensical idea of making him dump the other woman 'in front of her'. (shrugs) That doesn’t mean anything. But really OP…

- what kind of relationship do you have? If it is a real committed relationship (marriage) the only way I would take him back is if we both went to couples counseling. If he's a 'boyfriend' that you took him back .... well, now he knows he CAN cheat and you will take him back. DUH! You teach guys how to treat you.

When a guy cheats .. there has to be SOME SORT OF CONSEQUENCE to his actions:

-     like you put him OUT of your house and he's gotta beg his way back in. This will takes MONTHS .. while he has to watch you go out with other men.

-     Or your both to get into counseling (if you are married)

-     Or if you have your place .. break off with him on Thursday and then Friday, change your hairstyle, your makeup, buy a new dress and start dating other guys. Again .... IF IT'S REAL .. he will have to BEG his way back into your good graces .. and this will take a lonnnng time. Meanwhile ... live your life.

Now, if ya’ll just had a fight about it and he gave you a reason that you were stupid enough to except WITHOUT ANY CONSEQUENCES .. he will do it again! You will spend all of your spare time wondering what he is doing and where he is going etc … until one day he gets sick of it and dumps YOU. Then you will be crushed. Stupid - you should be dumping HIM.

Lastly, it’s not about the other woman. DUH! So it’s funny that you think if he dumps her in front of you … it will make a difference. It will not.

How do you know he’s not seeing other women as well? You don’t. Like they say .. for every 1 rat you see, there are a hundred more rats that you don’t see.

I repeat .. the only way you can forgive his cheating is IF HE FEELS THE CONSEQUENCES of his cheating so that he pays for it and has to BEG HIS WAY back into your good graces.

Otherwise .. you are with a dog and liar that is running a game on you. He knows you will allow it because you don’t have the self-esteem to ... YANK A KNOT IN HIS TAIL! DUH!



Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Dec 09 2013 at 10:25am
Originally posted by JustMe90 JustMe90 wrote:

Okay so my s/o has cheated and I have since "forgiven" him. I believe in forgiveness and I strongly feel as if our love is worth saving, so your opinion on why I forgave...blah blah blah is not needed. I'm asking...do you think it's too far left for me to ask that he dead the relationship in front of me. Like call her and do it in my presence? Just for my own satisfaction? Or should I just trust him? No smart or snide remarks, please!!!
 
i only read this.  but i would say if she already knows about you...this doesn't seem like a wise course of action to recommend to him because they will still be f*cking...believe that...
 
anyway, if you decide to forgive him...i'd suggest you just do it and try to move on from here...


Posted By: JustMe90
Date Posted: Dec 09 2013 at 10:54am
Thanks for all of your responses and um concerns about my sexual health. I have been tested and all is clear. I made it a condition for the both of us to be tested if we were to continue our relationship after I discovered the cheating.... Did I ask him to do it? ( call her in front of me and all that mess) Yes, only to hear his response as he should be agreeing to do whatever I asked of him at this point. I didn't say I would or wouldn't do it ( to him), but hearing him say that it "wasn't necessary but he's willing to do whatever it takes", but me at "ease" Including me having access to his phone whenever I see fit. Not that I'm his "parole officer" but just his willingness to prove to me that those behaviours are over..I said "good" and moved on. Just because I have truly forgiven him does not mean that I forgot and I can't just give him a trust he has since violated it has to be earned back, and he understands that. Am I the side bish? Absolutely not, without a question I know where I stand in his life.... On another note..After the fact...He wants me to move in with him, and I get to choose where, and all purchases. I pick, he buys. He wants to pay alllllll the bills, pay for all expenses. He wants me to be secure and well taken care of while I write my book and finish school. He's super supportive, his family loves me and they appreciate me, as do he...He's definitely worth the forgiveness.. I just wanted to seeeee. Lol.


Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Dec 09 2013 at 11:00am

good luck op!



Posted By: HaitianDiva64
Date Posted: Dec 09 2013 at 11:03am
You tryna prive how good he is to us or yourself?


Posted By: OoDles O
Date Posted: Dec 09 2013 at 11:06am
Originally posted by JustMe90 JustMe90 wrote:

On another note..After the fact...He wants me to move in with him, and I get to choose where, and all purchases. I pick, he buys. He wants to pay alllllll the bills, pay for all expenses. He wants me to be secure and well taken care of while I write my book and finish school. He's super supportive, his family loves me and they appreciate me, as do he...He's definitely worth the forgiveness.. I just wanted to seeeee. Lol.

Whoa whoa... He's just telling you whatever he knows you want to hear.

You don't watch love and hip hop? 

You should take your time....move at an incremental speed... proceed at your own comfortable pace. At the end of the day just remember, Its YOUR life and you always have a choice.

Talk about a dude who's trying to lock you down and turn you into a fiend for his financial generosity though. 

Be careful.  


Posted By: kerysdream7
Date Posted: Dec 09 2013 at 11:09am
It may not be such a great idea to move in with him just yet. He can "take care" of your bills without you living with him. Good Luck!



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