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23 Things You Shouldnt Say To A Childfree Woman

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Topic: 23 Things You Shouldnt Say To A Childfree Woman
Posted By: femmefatale85
Subject: 23 Things You Shouldnt Say To A Childfree Woman
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:07pm

23 Things You Should Never Say To A Childfree Woman

Posted:   |  Updated: 09/10/2013 3:28 pm EDT

Whether or not a woman wants to have children is a very personal decision. Unfortunately, it's also one of those things that everyone seems to feel empowered to comment on.

Pieces written by women who are http://www.huffingtonpost.com/melanie-notkin/the-truth-about-the-childless-life_b_3691069.html" rel="nofollow - childfree by choice reveal the extent to which their choices are constantly questioned and dismissed. "Early on, I learned that the worst thing I could do was to give an honest answer," Carolina A. Miranda wrote in an August 2013 http://ideas.time.com/2013/08/01/no-regrets-why-i-dont-have-children/#ixzz2eQZKe8yk" rel="nofollow - Time magazine piece . "Saying 'I don’t want kids' simply set me up as a challenge to be surmounted."

In another August 2013 http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2148636,00.html#ixzz2eQYYxvN8" rel="nofollow - Time article , Lauren Sandler argued that: "If you're a woman who's not in the mommy trenches, more often than not you're excluded from the discussion." And in a March 2011 blog for http://www.huffingtonpost.com/stefanie-iris-weiss/my-uterus-is-officially-c_b_833477.html" rel="nofollow - The Huffington Post , Stefanie Iris Weiss summed up popular opinions to childfree women:

People react to the idea of women not having children with total incredulity, shock, and worst of all, pity. They assume it's a case of infertility in disguise, a lack of a relationship, or that women without kids "hate children." In the majority of cases, it's none of the above.

We're strongly of the opinion that women shouldn't have to justify their reproductive decisions to anyone. Really, everyone else should simply stop commenting on them. So we polled our Twitter followers on what you should never say to a woman who doesn't want to have kids.

Here are 23 things childfree women never ever want to hear you say:

  1. "What a https://twitter.com/cdtgre/status/377152902579494912" rel="nofollow - bad decision ."
  2. "Now that https://twitter.com/NoMeatballs/status/377123722546925568" rel="nofollow - I have children , my life has true meaning!"
  3. "You're a https://twitter.com/bridgettajp27/status/377159659633012737" rel="nofollow - crazy cat lady in training."
  4. "You think https://twitter.com/HeatherBarmore/status/377123805690613760" rel="nofollow - you're tired ? You don't know what tired is."
  5. "You're being https://twitter.com/meenalaregina/status/377156383541846016" rel="nofollow - selfish ."
  6. "You'll change your mind when you https://twitter.com/Rainbowjayney/status/377123931754602496" rel="nofollow - meet the right man ."
  7. "What are you https://twitter.com/MakeupWhoreder/status/377122975105163264" rel="nofollow - waiting for ?"
  8. " https://twitter.com/meenalaregina/status/377156663146721281" rel="nofollow - Your mom had you!"
  9. "You're missing out on one of the https://twitter.com/ChopsCorner/status/377154636571897856" rel="nofollow - best things in life ."
  10. " https://twitter.com/ChrissieAmbrose/status/377154666678599680" rel="nofollow - Tick tock. "
  11. " https://twitter.com/Rainbowjayney/status/377124781017300992" rel="nofollow - It's a mom thing ."
  12. "That's a shame. You might https://twitter.com/karenpjulien/status/377153070012309504" rel="nofollow - regret it ."
  13. "What's https://twitter.com/AGoddessComplex/status/377157167314239490" rel="nofollow - wrong with you ?"
  14. "The size of that house and just the two of you? It's a https://twitter.com/shazhodnett/status/377125724148469761" rel="nofollow - waste of space ."
  15. "But you would be such a https://twitter.com/sabrinafaire/status/377156682578538496" rel="nofollow - great mom !"
  16. "Just https://twitter.com/Mezzonicole/status/377126507153326081" rel="nofollow - find a donor and have kids. I'll babysit."
  17. "You think you https://twitter.com/mmcglohon/status/377132216658452481" rel="nofollow - don't want children , but once you have them you'll change your mind."
  18. "Don't https://twitter.com/VAis4lovers/status/377123923303104513" rel="nofollow - wait too long ."
  19. "You'd better hurry up and https://twitter.com/shazhodnett/status/377125521379065857" rel="nofollow - give your husband a child before he finds someone who will."
  20. "You don't have children, so https://twitter.com/MaliykaisHealth/status/377139483638259712" rel="nofollow - you won't understand ."
  21. "You don't know what https://twitter.com/HeatherBarmore/status/377123855355355136" rel="nofollow - real love is."
  22. "Wait until your https://twitter.com/Rainbowjayney/status/377133897206996992" rel="nofollow - biological clock kicks in."
  23. "Aren't you worried there'll be no one to https://twitter.com/shazhodnett/status/377125055190548480" rel="nofollow - look after you when you're old?"

What else should you never say to a woman who chooses not to have children? Comment below or join the conversation on twitter https://twitter.com/huffpostwomen" rel="nofollow - @HuffPostWomen !




Replies:
Posted By: kfoxx1998
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:08pm
All I would say to her is Congratulations, Well DoneClap

Kids = Overrated


Posted By: **Sk!TtLeS B**
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:08pm
"You're a  https://twitter.com/bridgettajp27/status/377159659633012737" rel="nofollow - crazy cat lady  in training."

They say that like cats arent better than people...


Posted By: **Sk!TtLeS B**
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:10pm
Also, I feel like the people who say things like this really didn't want kids in the first place, but since they have them, they're trying to convince everyone (including themselves) that having kids is the best possible decision. 


Posted By: jazzygirl08
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:11pm

Almost ever thing on there has been said to me.Cry



Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:12pm
I've had the "you're being selfish" line thrown in my face by some lawyer that I hired! I was pissed.
Also "what's wrong with you"
 
But Bhm's favorite: you're bitter


Posted By: KottonKandy
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:13pm
I always hear...go 'head and give that man a baby. I see cute little girls and handsome little boys all the time and for a minute, I want one. Then I realize they grow up... A cute little girl may not be that cute anymore in her teens lol... 


Posted By: oh_so_moody
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:14pm
Can u place this on a muthafvcking t-shirt?

Bishes swear u living out here like a rock star just cause u childless.

Nah Bish.... I'm working 70 hr/wks and that ish ain't no cakewalk either.



*rant over*


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:14pm
Oh, I forgot. At work "your life is so easy because you don't have kids". The hidden implication behind that is usually "You can take on more work or stay longer"


Posted By: KottonKandy
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:15pm
Originally posted by **Sk!TtLeS B** **Sk!TtLeS B** wrote:

Also, I feel like the people who say things like this really didn't want kids in the first place, but since they have them, they're trying to convince everyone (including themselves) that having kids is the best possible decision. 

I know MANY who wished they never had any. 

but oh well, when I get pregnant, I'll worry about the 'mom' stuff, until then bow down b*tches... LOL 


Posted By: HaitianDiva64
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:16pm
Originally posted by femmefatale85 femmefatale85 wrote:

 

  1. "You'll change your mind when you https://twitter.com/Rainbowjayney/status/377123931754602496" rel="nofollow - meet the right man ."
  2. " https://twitter.com/Rainbowjayney/status/377124781017300992" rel="nofollow - It's a mom thing ."
  3. "But you would be such a https://twitter.com/sabrinafaire/status/377156682578538496" rel="nofollow - great mom !"
  4. "You think you https://twitter.com/mmcglohon/status/377132216658452481" rel="nofollow - don't want children , but once you have them you'll change your mind."
  5. "You'd better hurry up and https://twitter.com/shazhodnett/status/377125521379065857" rel="nofollow - give your husband a child before he finds someone who will."
  6. "You don't have children, so https://twitter.com/MaliykaisHealth/status/377139483638259712" rel="nofollow - you won't understand ."
  7. "Aren't you worried there'll be no one to https://twitter.com/shazhodnett/status/377125055190548480" rel="nofollow - look after you when you're old?"
 
these are said to me the most and i hate it.


Posted By: Brownsugar1
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:18pm
@moody


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:20pm
White folks .
Just https://twitter.com/Mezzonicole/status/377126507153326081" rel="nofollow - find a donor and have kids. I'll babysit


Posted By: oh_so_moody
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:22pm
Originally posted by KottonKandy KottonKandy wrote:

I always hear...go 'head and give that man a baby. I see cute little girls and handsome little boys all the time and for a minute, I want one. Then I realize they grow up... A cute little girl may not be that cute anymore in her teens lol... 


Exactly. If I have a child...then I'm selfish for moving them around to give them all the things they need AND want.

I'm selfish because my job requires me to work 70/wk then I'm a mom but a "bad mom"

I wonder if the ppl always throwing the baby stuff in my face are really just in that misery loves company mode sometimes. My true true friends with kids tell me that they love their kids ( and husband) but it was easier before kids came along..

My family is putting on the pressure since I'm hitting that big 3-0 but I also knw that I do not want to remarry so is that selfish to willingly have a 'bastard child' as BHM says?

We need a damn focus group.


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:22pm
Originally posted by **Sk!TtLeS B** **Sk!TtLeS B** wrote:

<span style=": rgb251, 251, 253; line-height: 1.4;">"You're a </span> https://twitter.com/bridgettajp27/status/377159659633012737" rel="nofollow - crazy cat lady <span style=": rgb251, 251, 253; line-height: 1.4;"> </span><span style=": rgb251, 251, 253; line-height: 1.4;">in training."</span>
<span style=": rgb251, 251, 253; line-height: 1.4;">
</span>
<span style=": rgb251, 251, 253; line-height: 1.4;">They say that like cats arent better than people...</span>


You sound like them crazy beast ppl

Is it really that offensive when ppl make these comments?
They generally don't mean any harm.

I mean who cares.

But I'm one of those ppl who think bearing life is a truly extraordinary thing.
I'm in awe of women who do.

I may not have kids or want to but I think the women who do have done a glorious thing .
They have done a truly awesome thing and should feel a sort of pride in it.
They have life inside of them.

I'm amazed


Posted By: Brownsugar1
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:25pm
@jones


Posted By: oh_so_moody
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:29pm
No one is taking away the amazing act of birthing a person.

I tip my hat.

But your rights end where mine begin.
U have the right to birth humans and I have the right not to be questioned or pressured because of someone else's personal decisions.

Put the shoe on the other foot...

If u tell me " you'll regret it later in life" for not having kids it's harmless but I if I say the exact same thing after you have you've one it's rude and bitter?

Nah, it'a not harmless. It's polite insults and the sh*t ain't cool up or down.


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:35pm


I agree 1000000% with skittles

I hear women that are struggling to take care of their own kids say these things to women without kids




Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:36pm
Originally posted by femmefatale85 femmefatale85 wrote:

 "You'll change your mind when you https://twitter.com/Rainbowjayney/status/377123931754602496" rel="nofollow - meet the right man ." 


I heard this one a lot.

Me: the right man for me won't want any kids either.Big smile


Posted By: oh_so_moody
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:37pm
And no darts toward you, Jones but you have no idea how degrading it is as black woman to walk into your law school and be expected to have kids. And not only that but being told "I waited til my kids were older to enter law school, I want to be an example to them" or "it's that much more important to me to do well because of my kids"

Like I as a 26 year old black woman can't enter into thi s university without having a baby at home I'm doing it for. I can't just be doing it for me or for my family. I gotta do it for my kid????

This is something I haven't really spoke on in the past because ppl make me feel guilty for wanting to be great for me and wanting to travel and love and hate and regret and rejoice and succeed and not have to answer or share everything with anyone

As if its not okay? I want ppl to respect my choices the same way I respect and CELEBRATE theirs.



Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:39pm
I reallly don't feel its a big deal.
When you're moving up you will encounter that .
I don't think ppl mean any harm by it and I think its innate question.

I will probably run into it bc I go to grad school soon but idk.
Tbh I get asked even now.

I'm not easily offended especially when there is no intent to offend.
When you get older ppl wonder when you intend to start a family.
They aren't taking choices away from you.

It's harmless social banter imo


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:41pm
I would never ask any woman questions like that . Imagine the people with infertilty problems . You never know why. People told me i was too old and never thought i would have a baby at my age . I agree some things only a mother would know . Like the pain from hell .LOLCry 


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:44pm
Originally posted by oh_so_moody oh_so_moody wrote:

And no darts toward you, Jones but you have no idea how degrading it is as black woman to walk into your law school and be expected to have kids. And not only that but being told "I waited til my kids were older to enter law school, I want to be an example to them" or "it's that much more important to me to do well because of my kids"

Like I as a 26 year old black woman can't enter into thi s university without having a baby at home I'm doing it for. I can't just be doing it for me or for my family. I gotta do it for my kid????

This is something I haven't really spoke on in the past because ppl make me feel guilty for wanting to be great for me and wanting to travel and love and hate and regret and rejoice and succeed and not have to answer or share everything with anyone

As if its not okay? I want ppl to respect my choices the same way I respect and CELEBRATE theirs.

Enjoy life . I admire and respect young women like you . You can have children later in life if you choose . Look at my old butt . Embarrassed


Posted By: oh_so_moody
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:45pm
Originally posted by india100 india100 wrote:

Originally posted by oh_so_moody oh_so_moody wrote:

And no darts toward you, Jones but you have no idea how degrading it is as black woman to walk into your law school and be expected to have kids. And not only that but being told "I waited til my kids were older to enter law school, I want to be an example to them" or "it's that much more important to me to do well because of my kids"

Like I as a 26 year old black woman can't enter into thi s university without having a baby at home I'm doing it for. I can't just be doing it for me or for my family. I gotta do it for my kid????

This is something I haven't really spoke on in the past because ppl make me feel guilty for wanting to be great for me and wanting to travel and love and hate and regret and rejoice and succeed and not have to answer or share everything with anyone

As if its not okay? I want ppl to respect my choices the same way I respect and CELEBRATE theirs.

Enjoy life . I admire and respect young women like you . You can have children later in life if yo choose . Look at my old butt . Embarrassed


Thanks India.


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:46pm
Originally posted by femmefatale85 femmefatale85 wrote:

"You don't know what https://twitter.com/HeatherBarmore/status/377123855355355136" rel="nofollow - real love is."
I know love for your own child is different but damn.LOL




Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:47pm
If anything I don't think enough support is given to women who choose both.


Posted By: mangachan
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:50pm
Originally posted by **Sk!TtLeS B** **Sk!TtLeS B** wrote:

Also, I feel like the people who say things like this really didn't want kids in the first place, but since they have them, they're trying to convince everyone (including themselves) that having kids is the best possible decision. 


So I'm not the only who thinks this huh...LOL

But really, people need to stop this, I know plenty of childless women who don't have them because they can't and would like to have have them.



Posted By: SoutherNtellect
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:51pm
moody
preeeaaaccchhh


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:52pm
Originally posted by india100 india100 wrote:

I would never ask any woman questions like that . Imagine the people with infertilty problems . You never know why. People told me i was too old and never thought i would have a baby at my age . I agree some things only a mother would know . Like the pain from hell .LOLCry 



Exactly. I've never heard those questions come from a good place...



Posted By: GG
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:54pm
Some kidless women judge women who have them. Either way support needs to be given to both sides and everyone should respect each others choices without questioning them. Worry about your own life and ovaries!


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:55pm
Originally posted by **Sk!TtLeS B** **Sk!TtLeS B** wrote:

Also, I feel like the people who say things like this really didn't want kids in the first place, but since they have them, they're trying to convince everyone (including themselves) that having kids is the best possible decision. 
YEEEEEEEES!!

I usually say that too. "Misery loves company" or "that hype is nothing more than a pyramid scheme". When I'm tired of sleep, freedom and disposable income, I will join the club. Until then, nah bruh.

I've only gotten a few of these and of them, #15 is first place. However, I am inclined to believe that if I had a stable partner/relationship, I might view the issue differently. MIGHT.


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:56pm
Tbh GG that's what I see more of but I'm in my early twenties wrapping up undergrad and moving on so maybe that's from a limited perspective.
The harshest critiques and serious insults have came from the women without kids from what I've seen.


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 6:59pm
Originally posted by carolina cutie carolina cutie wrote:

Originally posted by femmefatale85 femmefatale85 wrote:

"You don't know what https://twitter.com/HeatherBarmore/status/377123855355355136" rel="nofollow - real love is."
I know love for your own child is different but damn.LOL




Lol one of my HS friends that had a unplanned pregnancy told me this^^^

I told her she can have that



Posted By: LilMissSunshine
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 7:05pm
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

Tbh GG that's what I see more of but I'm in my early twenties wrapping up undergrad and moving on so maybe that's from a limited perspective.
The harshest critiques and serious insults have came from the women without kids from what I've seen.
Agreed. I don't think the childless bashing comes until the late 30s maybe.


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 7:05pm
Model, IA. I think if they phrased it differently it would have been better. Like, 'The love between a child and parent is like nothing else' or something similar. I've had that said to me and I don't have a problem with it.

But that original statement? Guuurl!LOL


Posted By: creole booty
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 7:22pm
My single friends just don't want kids RIGHT NOW. My friends who r older and didn't want kids don't regret it per se, but they think about it. I mean, it comes up in convo occasionally. Only one person I can think of now really wasn't sweating having a baby and she can't have one now. She could before, but was too busy living life. Now, it's not going to happen. She tries to front like she doesn't care, she's single, doesn't want kids, but sometimes when her period is late she gets excited about how she could possibly be pregnant. Then when her period comes, it's back to "I really didn't want kids lol."

ON THREAD TOPIC: the things listed that people say, are rude as hell. Just plain rude.


Posted By: SoutherNtellect
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 7:24pm
face palm


Posted By: QueenBee
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 7:47pm
Heard quite a few before.. it's worse when you've been married for years and both over 30. Folks really start to try to pressure you into having kids.

My sister is 35 and not married working on her PhD... sometimes I envy her only responsible for herself life. Itold her when folks get tho being nosey about that aspect of her life just say..0 my sister has both and says they're overrated.


Posted By: khivey
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 7:54pm
I've realized people have something to say when a) You're living your life and playing by your own rules b) When you try giving parenting advice hahaha 




Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 7:57pm
I rather be a cat lady than have a bunch of kids that stress my life out


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 8:00pm
Lol yes parents don't like when you give them advice especially unsolicited and from ppl who don't have actual experience ( me )
I like to annoy my older sister.
I'm moving to her city for school and she and her husband are trying to have another baby.
I told her we are gonna cloth diaper and breast feed only this baby.

She knows I do it to annoy her but she has warmed to the cloth diapering idea.
Cloth diapers are soooo cute.


Posted By: creole booty
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 8:01pm
Originally posted by BBpants BBpants wrote:

I rather be a cat lady than have a bunch of kids that stress my life out

i dont think theres one person in the world that would disagree with youLOL


Posted By: TokyoRose
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 8:03pm
I have heard pretty much ALL of these.  I hear it a lot from my mother, and I think that with her, the selfish one isn't ME, it's HER because she really wants grandchildren. 


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 8:23pm
someone saying "what's wrong with you?" is not harmless social banter. ppl may not realize they're being hurtful but ignorance does not lessen the sting

i hate when ppl ask me this question
like nig.ga you honestly don't have $5 on NOTHING
you won't babysit, buy me diapers, or take away labor pains
geaux the fu.ck away and remove your head from my uterus 

eta: and i know they want to know bc im married, graduated school, blah blah blah so kids seem next but honestly women have to think about their career and kids in a way men never have to so for a career minded woman it is more than just spreading it and droppin out a baby.


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 8:23pm
I'm curious what kind of harsh insults do childless women give?

i usually see criticism when the child's needs appear to not be priority and/or the mother is being careless

why would someone insult a mother who's handling her business and raising her child properly?



Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 8:26pm
Originally posted by khivey khivey wrote:

I've realized people have something to say when a) You're living your life and playing by your own rules  


thisssssssssssssss all day



Posted By: GG
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 8:28pm
Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:

I'm curious what kind of harsh insults do childless women give?

i usually see criticism when the child's needs appear to not be priority and/or the mother is being careless

why would someone insult a mother who's handling her business and raising her child properly?



Stuff like I'm glad I don't have kids because they're a burden.
Why do you keep having kids?
I couldn't ruin my body like that.

The carelessness happens in different ways as some speak without truly thinking.

Some people think that even if you are a great mother it doesn't matter because kids are unnecessary.


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 8:28pm
The things listed are extreme and are not what normally happens.
I don't believe that childless women are being harassed in the streets for not having kids.

The overwhelmingly majority is harmless social banter and inquires about family.

Yep


Posted By: TokyoRose
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 8:28pm
Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:

I'm curious what kind of harsh insults do childless women give?

i usually see criticism when the child's needs appear to not be priority and/or the mother is being careless

why would someone insult a mother who's handling her business and raising her child properly?



"You must be so tied down!"

I never say anything negative about a parent UNLESS they are clearly neglecting their child. 


Posted By: femmefatale85
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 8:40pm
Originally posted by GG GG wrote:

Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:

I'm curious what kind of harsh insults do childless women give?

i usually see criticism when the child's needs appear to not be priority and/or the mother is being careless

why would someone insult a mother who's handling her business and raising her child properly?



Stuff like I'm glad I don't have kids because they're a burden.

Why do you keep having kids?
I couldn't ruin my body like that.

The carelessness happens in different ways as some speak without truly thinking.

Some people think that even if you are a great mother it doesn't matter because kids are unnecessary.


ive said these things but to other women that don't have kids lol




Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 8:42pm
Originally posted by GG GG wrote:

Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:

I'm curious what kind of harsh insults do childless women give?

i usually see criticism when the child's needs appear to not be priority and/or the mother is being careless

why would someone insult a mother who's handling her business and raising her child properly?



Stuff like I'm glad I don't have kids because they're a burden.
Why do you keep having kids?
I couldn't ruin my body like that.

The carelessness happens in different ways as some speak without truly thinking.

Some people think that even if you are a great mother it doesn't matter because kids are unnecessary.




Oh I see...hmmm honestly, I might think that from time to time but I would never say that to anyone. That is rude.

I really don't care how many kids people have, as long as they are being properly cared for

that's all that matters

It just bothers me to see generations and cycles of neglect and poor parenting from children repeating their parents actions and so on



Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 8:44pm
Omg moody can we start an awesome childfree woman club? I agree 100% with everything you said.


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 8:44pm
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

Lol yes parents don't like when you give them advice especially unsolicited and from ppl who don't have actual experience ( me )
I like to annoy my older sister.
I'm moving to her city for school and she and her husband are trying to have another baby.
I told her we are gonna cloth diaper and breast feed only this baby.

She knows I do it to annoy her but she has warmed to the cloth diapering idea.
Cloth diapers are soooo cute.
I use to get mad when people tried to tell me how to care for my newborn .  


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 8:45pm
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

The things listed are extreme and are not what normally happens.
I don't believe that childless women are being harassed in the streets for not having kids.

The overwhelmingly majority is harmless social banter and inquires about family.

Yep

oh? despite posters saying they've had these things said to them? still gonna ride this 'harmless social banter' narrative? oh.


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 8:46pm
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

The things listed are extreme and are not what normally happens.
I don't believe that childless women are being harassed in the streets for not having kids.

The overwhelmingly majority is harmless social banter and inquires about family.

Yep


oh? despite posters saying they've had these things said to them? still gonna ride this 'harmless social banter' narrative? oh.


Yerp


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 8:47pm
no matter how childless I am or will ever be I will always enjoy seeing well raised and mannered children



Posted By: Lady ICE
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 8:49pm
weird. i only read that stuff online. never heard it. never say it.


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 8:50pm
Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:

I'm curious what kind of harsh insults do childless women give?

i usually see criticism when the child's needs appear to not be priority and/or the mother is being careless

why would someone insult a mother who's handling her business and raising her child properly?



I've said some mean things to parents, but only if they've insulted me first.

Comments like "you're irresponsible" or "you're selfish" or "you may as well have kids, you already have all the stretchmarks anyway" are always met with insults.

I also have no problem calling out sh*tty parents in public. If your child is acting a fool in my space you need to control it. And if you can't, then I'm going to say something.


Posted By: BonitaApplebaum
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 8:57pm
I am glad I don't have kids at this point in my life.(period)

But dealing first hand with friends who have children, it seems as if they don't want you to be happy because you don't have the burden and daily stress of having them, like its wrong to be free!
Dare I say #teamnokids...

Just like you claim to be happy with the high ass daycare expenses, baby daddy issues, and no "me" time, can't I be happy with being able to get up and go wherever and whenever I want? JS...


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 8:58pm
Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:

I'm curious what kind of harsh insults do childless women give?

i usually see criticism when the child's needs appear to not be priority and/or the mother is being careless

why would someone insult a mother who's handling her business and raising her child properly?



I've said some mean things to parents, but only if they've insulted me first.

Comments like "you're irresponsible" or "you're selfish" or "you may as well have kids, you already have all the stretchmarks anyway" are always met with insults.

I also have no problem calling out sh*tty parents in public. If your child is acting a fool in my space you need to control it. And if you can't, then I'm going to say something.



you call out parents in public?

strangers?



Posted By: femmefatale85
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 8:59pm
i remember in an interview when a doctor told me he didn't think i was a good fit because i was getting older and probably needed to start having children soon

i was 23 at the time lol


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 8:59pm
eaux


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:00pm
Originally posted by LovesHim LovesHim wrote:

When i didnt have kids people said those things to me

Now that I'm pregnant with my first people still say rude things to me....

you just cant win


smh


Posted By: SoutherNtellect
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:01pm
i like when people admit "fvck logic"


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:01pm
I actually had a conversation today with one of the clients and we were talking about school and career and a girl our age came in talking about kids.
We were like you really want kids now , seriously?
Don't you want to do this or that first...


That probably wasn't our place lol.
I hope we didn't make her feel bad about making a choice for family


Naw , fuk y'all anecdotal evidence.

I don't believe it goes down like that on most occasions.

Shrug


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:04pm
Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:




you call out parents in public?





Sure do. If your child is ramming into me with a grocery cart or throwing things at me or screaming incessantly in a place they shouldn't be or coming into my dressing room (which has happened several times), then I say something to the parent and/or child.

People need to be respectful of others.


Posted By: Lady ICE
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:05pm
honest question: i dont understand the kids overrated burden. why does everyone think that when you have kids your life is over?  sure you have to spend a little extra on things but sheesh...what is it you wanna do that you cant with kids?

i mean i travel. i buy myself gifts. i go out to breakfast/lunch/dinner when i want. i hang with friends. what do you think you're missing if you have them?


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:07pm
I do think kids are restrictive .
You just can't do the same things and I do think they make it harder to advance when it comes to career.



But that's ok if you're at that point on life when you're ready for that switch
But there are benefits to having them.

It just depends on where you are and if you're ready.


Posted By: GG
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:07pm
Originally posted by Lady ICE Lady ICE wrote:

honest question: i dont understand the kids overrated burden. why does everyone think that when you have kids your life is over?  sure you have to spend a little extra on things but sheesh...what is it you wanna do that you cant with kids?

i mean i travel. i buy myself gifts. i go out to breakfast/lunch/dinner when i want. i hang with friends. what do you think you're missing if you have them?


All of this supposed freedom to live life as ratchet as possible
It makes no difference to me. I don't think kids stop your life.


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:08pm
ratchet?


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:10pm
I know for me I value the freedom to do what I want.

I love being able to have the flu and not have to worry about making somebody cereal or driving somebody to an activity.

The freedom to buy myself something frivolous and know it's not impacting anyone else but me because I don't need to save for childcare, activities, college funds, weddings, etc.

The beauty of being able to be in a quiet house all day with  no chatter annoying the hell out of me.

There's just so many things I'd miss if I had kids.


Posted By: GG
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:12pm
Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:

ratchet?


One of the funniest arguments I've heard about not wanting kids came from my friend. She claimed kids would stop her from being able to hang out and party. I simply told her that people who have kids do the same things that people who don't have kids do. She just had a baby btw so I guess it wasn't so bad after all.


Posted By: BonitaApplebaum
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:13pm
Originally posted by Lady ICE Lady ICE wrote:

honest question: i dont understand the kids overrated burden. why does everyone think that when you have kids your life is over?  sure you have to spend a little extra on things but sheesh...what is it you wanna do that you cant with kids?

i mean i travel. i buy myself gifts. i go out to breakfast/lunch/dinner when i want. i hang with friends. what do you think you're missing if you have them?


I can only speak on the people that I know who have kids... They are raising them alone. And its hard.
Life is not over, it definitely still goes on. I would like to have them at some point, but I would hate to be by myself like most women I know..


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:15pm
Originally posted by Lady ICE Lady ICE wrote:

honest question: i dont understand the kids overrated burden. why does everyone think that when you have kids your life is over?  sure you have to spend a little extra on things but sheesh...what is it you wanna do that you cant with kids?

i mean i travel. i buy myself gifts. i go out to breakfast/lunch/dinner when i want. i hang with friends. what do you think you're missing if you have them?


im only answering if there's a promise no one will get offended



Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:18pm
Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:

Originally posted by Lady ICE Lady ICE wrote:

honest question: i dont understand the kids overrated burden. why does everyone think that when you have kids your life is over?  sure you have to spend a little extra on things but sheesh...what is it you wanna do that you cant with kids?

i mean i travel. i buy myself gifts. i go out to breakfast/lunch/dinner when i want. i hang with friends. what do you think you're missing if you have them?


im only answering if there's a promise no one will get offended


lmao




Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:18pm
Originally posted by GG GG wrote:

Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:

ratchet?


One of the funniest arguments I've heard about not wanting kids came from my friend. She claimed kids would stop her from being able to hang out and party. I simply told her that people who have kids do the same things that people who don't have kids do. She just had a baby btw so I guess it wasn't so bad after all.


lol oh ok well that ratchet part doesn't include me cause I'm not much of partier anyway



Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:20pm
Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:

Originally posted by Lady ICE Lady ICE wrote:

honest question: i dont understand the kids overrated burden. why does everyone think that when you have kids your life is over?  sure you have to spend a little extra on things but sheesh...what is it you wanna do that you cant with kids?

i mean i travel. i buy myself gifts. i go out to breakfast/lunch/dinner when i want. i hang with friends. what do you think you're missing if you have them?


im only answering if there's a promise no one will get offended


lmao


 
LOL im serious though
 
 


Posted By: Lady ICE
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:22pm
Originally posted by BonitaApplebaum BonitaApplebaum wrote:

 
I can only speak on the people that I know who have kids... They are raising them alone. And its hard.
Life is not over, it definitely still goes on. I would like to have them at some point, but I would hate to be by myself like most women I know..
i understand that. sometimes those things cant be avoided tho..most of my family is like that sadly. for them tho things were rough at first but it worked out and they still do whatever they want. Smile

say what you gotta say MD before i get bored and move on.LOL


Posted By: GG
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:23pm
Kids are a blessing but they're also optional. I appreciate parents and single people alike. Some people's opinions change about starting families. Others know that kids aren't for them and take precautions so there's definitely a choice.


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:26pm
Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:

LOL im serious though
Who gives a sh!t? It's bhm. Only black or white answers exist, seeing something from another point of view is (next to) impossible and SOMEONE will always be offended.

Go ahead and say what you gotta say.


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:34pm
Ok ladyice lol,
 
I just enjoy my alone time. I don't like hearing noise or crying. There's nothing more annoying than babies who are too young to understand what no and stop crying means.
 
I enjoying going shopping without having to maneuver with a stroller. Having to leave a movie theater because my baby wont stop crying. Or having to find someone to watch the kids when I go somewhere I cant bring them.
 
I cant tell you how many times trips have been ruined by my friends with babies.
 
They can't find anyone to watch them and bring their baby along to the mall, the baby starts crying irritating everybody and wont stop and is misbehaving so she gets frustrated and is ready to go home now. Trip ruined.
 
You lose your freedom. Spontaneity. Sleep. You can't just get up and do things anymore. 
 
 
 


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:36pm

I think it depends on the parent if you change your life . I see too many parents and grands taking care of children while the mother and father live the single life . I understand you need a social life , but your child should come first . I partied enough for a lifetime. People talk about how i never go out without India . My choice and her father .

 I may go to a birthday party once a year , but my visit is short due to missing my baby . Maybe because we are older . I never need or desire a babysitter . I can go down in the basement with my disco ball and old turntable to party . I enjoy spending every moment possible with my daughter . My life change for the better .
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:37pm
i definitely value spontaneity and independent decision making.

i will concede that there are more pros than cons to having children but i don't want my life to change yet.  my priorities need to change within 5 yrs.


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:37pm
Originally posted by nekamarie83 nekamarie83 wrote:

Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:

LOL im serious though
Who gives a sh!t? It's bhm. Only black or white answers exist, seeing something from another point of view is (next to) impossible and SOMEONE will always be offended.

Go ahead and say what you gotta say.
 
yall tryna get me killed I see youLOL


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:38pm
I don't know if I wasn't kids or not but crying has never annoyed me.
I just get concerned .

I think having a partner and a good family support system makes it easier.
But your life HAS to change when you become a parent.
Well I think it should.

But when it comes to the workforce I can see it being so hard.

I admit I've been annoyed at a co worker bc we had to postpone an important meeting bc her kid was sick.



Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:42pm
Originally posted by india100 india100 wrote:

I think it depends on the parent if you change your life . I see too many parents and grands taking care of children while the mother and father live the single life . I understand you need a social life , but your child should come first . I partied enough for a lifetime. People talk about how i never go out without India . My choice and her father .

 I may go to a birthday party once a year , but my visit is short due to missing my baby . Maybe because we are older . I never need or desire a babysitter . I can go down in the basement with my disco ball and old turntable to party . I enjoy spending every moment possible with my daughter . My life change for the better .
 
 
 
 
 


I think that's just good parenting...and most people I see just aren't good parents.

I would be a baby wearing, breastfeeding, classroom/field trip mom, with my kid as close to 100% of the time. That's what it takes to be a good parent in my eyes.

But being a good parent would require so much sacrifice on my part. Instead of sitting in a comfy chair reading books and eating waffles, I'd need to be studying with my child and taking them to museums and operas and ish. Ain't nobody got time and energy for that life.




Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:43pm
 
 
There's also nothing more beautiful than coming to a peaceful home after a long day of work.


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:43pm
Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:

yall tryna get me killed I see youLOL
!! Nah. And see, that wasn't bad/offensive at all IMO.
Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:

Ok ladyice lol,
And while I realize (first hand) that not all parenting experiences are created equal, I do agree with you.


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:44pm
But for some their kids bring them peace .
Just depends on the stage you're in.


Posted By: BonitaApplebaum
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:45pm
Originally posted by india100 india100 wrote:

I think it depends on the parent if you change your life . I see too many parents and grands taking care of children while the mother and father live the single life . I understand you need a social life , but your child should come first . I partied enough for a lifetime. People talk about how i never go out without India . My choice and her father .


 I may go to a birthday party once a year , but my visit is short due to missing my baby . Maybe because we are older . I never need or desire a babysitter . I can go down in the basement with my disco ball and old turntable to party . I enjoy spending every moment possible with my daughter . My life change for the better .


 


Someone close to me is like that. Has left the baby with Grandparents, Parents and me, sometimes days at a time. Lie about going to a job that fired them weeks ago. Had people call off work just because they went incognito and didn't pick up their child. Now that's ratchet!


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:46pm
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

But for some their kids bring them peace .
Just depends on the stage you're in.
 
 
noise does not bring me peace if im trying to sleep.LOL


Posted By: BonitaApplebaum
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:46pm
Apparently she feels as if she's missing out on something...


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:48pm
Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:

Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

But for some their kids bring them peace .
Just depends on the stage you're in.

 
 
noise does not bring me peace if im trying to sleep.LOL


I can agree.
When I'm sleepy I'm sleepy.

Waking up in the middle of the night for feelings and changes seems ....well I'm not in the stage to embrace that lol.


Posted By: BonitaApplebaum
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:48pm
Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:


 
 
There's also nothing more beautiful than coming to a peaceful home after a long day of work.


Lol keep'em coming MD!


Posted By: Lady ICE
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:50pm
Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:

Ok ladyice lol,
 
I just enjoy my alone time. I don't like hearing noise or crying. There's nothing more annoying than babies who are too young to understand what no and stop crying means.
 
I enjoying going shopping without having to maneuver with a stroller. Having to leave a movie theater because my baby wont stop crying. Or having to find someone to watch the kids when I go somewhere I cant bring them.
 
I cant tell you how many times trips have been ruined by my friends with babies.
 
They can't find anyone to watch them and bring their baby along to the mall, the baby starts crying irritating everybody and wont stop and is misbehaving so she gets frustrated and is ready to go home now. Trip ruined.
 
You lose your freedom. Spontaneity. Sleep. You can't just get up and do things anymore. 
 
 
 
i can agree with all of this. LOL im this way and i have kids. LOL. well..i also didnt have to go through all of that while they were babies.


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:51pm
Originally posted by BonitaApplebaum BonitaApplebaum wrote:

Originally posted by india100 india100 wrote:

I think it depends on the parent if you change your life . I see too many parents and grands taking care of children while the mother and father live the single life . I understand you need a social life , but your child should come first . I partied enough for a lifetime. People talk about how i never go out without India . My choice and her father .


 I may go to a birthday party once a year , but my visit is short due to missing my baby . Maybe because we are older . I never need or desire a babysitter . I can go down in the basement with my disco ball and old turntable to party . I enjoy spending every moment possible with my daughter . My life change for the better .


 


Someone close to me is like that. Has left the baby with Grandparents, Parents and me, sometimes days at a time. Lie about going to a job that fired them weeks ago. Had people call off work just because they went incognito and didn't pick up their child. Now that's ratchet!
I agree and know people like that. I notice a lady that can hardly walk picking up her grandson from school . The daughter is too tired to get up from partying all day .  I will make sure my daughter understands the Grandma rules if i live to be 80 lol.


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:53pm
BA see that person was not ready for a child


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:54pm
Kids know no boundaries.
 
They will drag you off the toilet just for you to change the T.V.
 
Interrupt important phone calls because so and so won't share.
 
Destroy and tear up apartments and disqualify security deposit refunds.LOL


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:54pm
it gets annoying. especially when people assume you don't have the same financial obligations because you tmdon't have kids


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Nov 07 2013 at 9:57pm
At the end of the day I do respect women who have kids and handle their business though.
 
That's awesome.



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