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Study: Spanking hurts kids in the long run

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Topic: Study: Spanking hurts kids in the long run
Posted By: tatee
Subject: Study: Spanking hurts kids in the long run
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 9:15am

Spanking hurts kids in the long run, too

By Michael MacKenzie, Special to CNN
updated 4:42 PM EDT, Tue October 22, 2013

STORY HIGHLIGHTS
  • Michael MacKenzie: Spanking gets results but can harm development
  • He says kids who are spanked are at greater risk for behavior, speech problems
  • MacKenzie: How parents discipline kids is tied to cultural, religious, family traditions
  • He says researchers and health practitioners must teach parents alternatives to spanking


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFKWKA2FN_8" rel="nofollow - video


Editor's note: http://socialwork.columbia.edu/faculty/michael-mackenzie" rel="nofollow - Michael MacKenzie is an associate professor at the Columbia University School of Social Work. His research involves stress and risk in early parenting and the effects and reasons behind children going into and through the child welfare system.

(CNN) -- In my first job in high school stocking the shelves with fresh produce at the grocery store, I often saw parents struggling with misbehaving children. Some would scream, while others would spank their kids.

It was always awkward to witness, because I felt sympathy for both sides. Were the children choosing to act out because the parents were busy and stressed buying food? But surely the parents could think of a better way to handle a defiant child?

I'm now a researcher at the Columbia School of Social Work and a specialist in child welfare, and I have just completed a study of this very issue. Columbia colleagues Eric Nicklas, Jane Waldfogel and Jeanne Brooks-Gunn and I http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/early/2013/10/16/peds.2013-1227.full.pdf+html" rel="nofollow - published findings in the journal Pediatrics (PDF) this week showing that the children who are spanked by their parents are at greater risk for later problems in both vocabulary and behavior.

Michael MacKenzie
Michael MacKenzie

We found that children who were spanked by their mothers at age 5, even relatively infrequently, went on to have higher levels of behavior problems at age 9, even after taking into account other family risk factors that also affect child behavior. Given the chicken vs. egg cyclical nature of this, we also controlled for earlier problems with the children to ensure that it wasn't just that kids who acted out were simply being spanked more.

And 5-year-olds who were spanked frequently, defined as two or more times a week, by their fathers also went on to have lower vocabulary scores at age 9, even after controlling for an array of other risk factors and earlier child vocabulary. This is an important finding, because few studies in this area have examined effects on cognitive development.

A leading researcher on child spanking, Elizabeth Gershoff from the University of Texas at Austin, correctly suggests that some of these cognitive effects may be indirect rather than a result of spanking only. Parents who spank may not talk to their children as often, or kids with behavioral problems may be more distracted at school. To account for some of these possibilities, we did control for a host of other family factors, such as the mom's IQ, the child's earlier verbal intelligence, the child's behavioral problems as well as a measure of how cognitively stimulating the home environment was. So, it appears that spanking is having an effect on vocabulary above and beyond those other factors.

Changing people's minds about something they care about by presenting data is a tough thing to do, particularly around something so emotionally laden as spanking.

Thinking back to my times in that grocery store and what the parents were going through, spanking actually worked for immediate compliance: It gets the child to stop misbehaving. The child stops grabbing food off the shelves; at home, the child stops touching the outlet or breaking his sister's toy, providing parents with immediate feedback that what they are doing is working. But that makes it more difficult to see what is happening in the long term.

How parents discipline their kids is intimately tied to cultural, religious and family traditions, including the meaning parents attach to their own experiences. Many of us say to ourselves, "I was spanked as a kid, and it made me a good person. So what's wrong with spanking my own kids?"

This is a very sensitive topic. That might explain why, even though the evidence is mounting that spanking leads to the very acting-out behavior most parents want to stop and even hurts a child's development, many parents in the United States continue to spank. More than half of the parents we questioned reported spanking their kids at age 3 and at age 5, even though our question just focused on spanking in the past month. Studies that simply look at whether children have been spanked at all find that the vast majority of American children are still spanked today.

Parents who are interested in exploring alternatives to spanking that might be a good fit for their family can talk to their pediatrician about effective strategies. They can also check out http://www.healthychildren.org/English/Pages/default.aspx" rel="nofollow - healthychildren.org from the American Academy of Pediatrics, which has some guides for parents on communication and discipline techniques.

Perhaps we researchers need to get better at telling the story. Families sometimes think we are accusing them of abusing their kids and challenging who they are as parents, and in turn they dismiss our findings as coming from out-of-touch academics. Most parents are doing the best they can by their children and must contend with advice from many corners, whether solicited or not.

Researchers and health practitioners must not lose sight of the burden and stress faced by so many families today, particularly since the tools we hope to see replace spanking sometimes require more upfront effort and consistency in implementation, which can be difficult to maintain without support.

We also need to do a better job of conveying to parents what they could do instead of spanking. Parents have a host of tools they can use -- talking, using time-outs and so on -- and all of us who see young parents and children can help demonstrate how effective these other forms of discipline can be.





Replies:
Posted By: niecy
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 9:21am
Really now? Because I got behind whoopings, albeit not that often, and I turned out just fine.


Posted By: beebeexx
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 9:23am
didn't read. I wasn't spanked but my little brother needs his ass beat. duncurr ahT no white man has to say about it.

but I do think spankings should be a last resort.


Posted By: Naturalchick30
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 9:25am
Aint nothing wrong with a spanking here and there.  Beating is worse IMO.  I agree that beating a child could have negative effects on him/her.


Posted By: kfoxx1998
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 9:29am
I too think it would be helpful for the researchers to define "spanking".  

I'm also sexist and I don't think men should ever spank a child under any circumstances.   They don't realize how strong they are.  That's all I got. 


Posted By: danni7
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 9:29am
sooo I was spanked up to age 12, infrequently mind you because I wasn't a bad child and I was top of my class all through elementary and high school. Research fail Thumbs Down

I never understand why people only look at the hitting aspect or spanking. It's how you raise a child in every aspect. Spanking was the last resort in disciplining, first we got the look then the talk then the cut ass but we also had LOADS more love.

People in this country always analyzing the tiny details of stuff and forget to look at the big picture, then wonder why they need to take their kids to Shows like "Scared Straight" and Maury:- "My 14 year old wants a baby" and "I'm afraid of my 9 year old".


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 9:30am
Clap


Posted By: Random Thoughts
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 9:31am
This rarely goes over well on a forum where many of the posters spank/received spankings. It's like they are so defensive that they won't even read what the study is actually saying.

Think it's worth reiterating that the study didn't say all kids. Says kids are at a greater risk. The headline for the study was written by CNN, not those doing the study.


Posted By: Brjasuga51
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 9:34am
mannnnnnnnnnn...some of these kids today...that's all I will say


Posted By: danni7
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 9:35am


All this!!
Especially 3:38 to the end 
lol


Posted By: FarraFace
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 9:36am
Until white children stop going on shooting rampages at schools, I'ma need those 2 to take their lil legal notepads and pens, and have some seats.

I don't care what their degrees are in, they are not qualified to be giving me any parenting advice.

eta: Thumbs Up






Posted By: Brjasuga51
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 9:40am
Originally posted by danni7 danni7 wrote:



All this!!
Especially 3:38 to the end 
lol
Yesssssssssssss and u have been thanked.


Posted By: GG
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 9:43am
This is very interesting and worth taking into consideration. Every child's development doesn't respond well to certain types of rearing.


Posted By: danni7
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 9:47am



Just to reinforce, it's not the beating that set kids straight, it's the amount of power parents give them. 

Watch this, wha the *ss wrong with these white children?? They need a good cut *ss



http://youtu.be/JQZHuuSSN8g" rel="nofollow - http://youtu.be/JQZHuuSSN8g
http://youtu.be/7vb0VhDHiik" rel="nofollow - http://youtu.be/7vb0VhDHiik
http://youtu.be/e67E02pUoWo" rel="nofollow - http://youtu.be/e67E02pUoWo
http://youtu.be/No4tbQ2fbUM" rel="nofollow - http://youtu.be/No4tbQ2fbUM

**Update to add part 2 and links to 3, 4, 5 and 6 for those who wanted to see the whole thing **




Posted By: honeydrop
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 9:53am
Originally posted by FarraFace FarraFace wrote:

Until white children stop going on shooting rampages at schools, I'ma need those 2 to take their lil legal notepads and pens, and have some seats.

I don't care what their degrees are in, they are not qualified to be giving me any parenting advice.

eta: Thumbs Up







I was going to say the same thing. Are they going to do a behavioral study on kids that got timeouts or got their way every time they had a fit? Did these kids become doctors, lawyers & writers with great vocab skills?


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 10:00am
while i don't completely agree, the piece has salient points. how many times have we see people, fam or no, spanking when it's not even that serious? while i think spanking is an effective rearing method, i'm biased like that, many parents are doing it wrong to the point of flat out abuse. plenty of us that turned out "right" or "ok" are not as right or ok as we think we are (it's just our norm) or we're exceptions, not rules. 

you can still spank your kid(s) and try various forms of punishment and reward in child rearing. it's not always got to be some elaborate ass power play in which parents confuse fear and respect. of course kids don't respond well to that sh!t and will act out of fear or flat out resentment/rebellion. people just don't want to hear it, get discouraged midstream or don't want to put in the effort to change. 


Posted By: tatee
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 10:02am
Ermm yah stay hijacking threads


Posted By: purpulicious01
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 10:05am
Sticky topic, but great article. 

This topic has been studied for some time and a lot of researchers (doctors, psychologists, parenting experts) say the same thing (I just finished reading How to Behave So Your Children Will Too =  a must read for all parents/future parents). 

It's a correlation, not causation. The study isn't saying that spanking kids automatically and irrevocably = bad kids, but that spanking leads to greater risk of harming the child's development, often doing more harm that good.  

Even though I got enough spankings in my days, I personally don't believe in spanking and won't spank my kids. I believe that there are better and more effective ways to discipline children, that will also teach them responsibility and how to behave. Spanking may be a good release for parents' anger and frustration, but it is only a temporary solution that doesn't teach responsibility. 

Getting everyone to agree on spanking vs non spanking is impossible - it's a topic we're going to continue to disagree on ( even some professionals still disagree among themselves.)

Everyone needs to read/research the topic and do whatever they think is best for their family. 




Posted By: Random Thoughts
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 10:07am
Reading through the pdf, found it a bit surprising that parents spanked 3 year olds more than 5 year olds. Would have figured it was the other way, but then I think about it further and recall little kids being hit at grocery stores or out in public when they are acting up. Most of those kids look about 3 or so.

Also found it interesting that half of the mothers did the spankings of the 5-year-olds. About a third of the fathers did for the 5-year-olds, and there was a link between fathers frequently spanking the child and the child having low vocab scores by age 9.


Posted By: kfoxx1998
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 10:10am
RT I think its because 1-3 yr old children have a smaller vocabulary so they kind of look at you like wtf do you mean no?LOL




Posted By: Random Thoughts
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 10:15am
Yeah that makes sense lol.


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 10:26am
Originally posted by purpulicious01 purpulicious01 wrote:

(I just finished reading How to Behave So Your Children Will Too =  a must read for all parents/future parents). 
the title of the book alone is a winner. cause some parents will swear up and down their kids are awful and it turns out that they are just sh!tty parents that don't know how to communicate, have little patience, act out of order themselves and are directly influencing their little one(s) and the cause of their problem. 

you want better, lead by example. kids don't appreciate hypocrites and they learned it by watching you. 


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 10:28am
Spanking does not teach right from wrong...it's stupid and lazy. The few times I remember being disciplined physically did nothing to curb my behavior, I simply grew out of it.
Not talking light pats on the butt or hand, I'm talking about a whooping. Raising your hand to a child is sick. If your child is that out of line it's your fault or they need help.


Posted By: NARSAddict
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 10:33am
Personally I am interested in alternative ways of disciplining a child besides spanking.  Seems so outdated to me.


Posted By: IslandSuga
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 10:37am
I think spanking is ok to use as a last resort. Growing up I didn't get spanked, I got beat so yeah. Violence is just not ok when it comes to child rearing, IMO anyway.


Posted By: Lady ICE
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 10:40am
Originally posted by FarraFace FarraFace wrote:

Until white children stop going on shooting rampages at schools, I'ma need those 2 to take their lil legal notepads and pens, and have some seats.

i saw a pic the other day that said white folks control everything in the world except their own kids LOL


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 10:44am
One thing, I don't like when fathers spank their kids.
My father never thought to so now it just makes me feel some kinda way to see a father spank girls.

I will use a whole bunch of methods of discipline .ive been back and forth with this one but yeah spanking will not be in my arsenal. I might change that though . Timeouts( they do work). Restriction of privileges and all that other stuff will be.
Tbh, spankings are only useful with the very young like sub 5 after that you need to be more creative.


Your kids are gonna be fuked up in someway anyway . Parent and love the best you can.
*shrug


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 10:46am
Plus there is ALWAYS a study that shows the opposite .
I'll post it ...


Posted By: FarraFace
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 10:48am
Originally posted by Lady ICE Lady ICE wrote:

i saw a pic the other day that said white folks control everything in the world except their own kids LOL

Including the perception of time apparently. LOL

The long run = 9 years old.


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 10:48am
Spanking makes kids perform better in school, helps them become more successful: study
BY ROSEMARY BLACK / DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER

MONDAY, JANUARY 4, 2010, 2:04 PM
Print

SCHOENBAUM/GETTY

Mother discipling child with a spanking.

A study, which found that young children whose parents spank them perform better at school later on, isn’t winning high marks with child development experts.

The research, by Calvin College psychology professor Marjorie Gunnoe, found that kids smacked before age 6 grew up to be more successful, and that there was not enough evidence to say that smacking harms most kids..."


And another


Contentious study says spanking may benefit children
Text:

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CTV.ca News Staff
Published Thursday, January 7, 2010 5:49PM EST
A new U.S. study that has drawn criticism from rights advocates says children who are spanked may grow up to be happier, more productive adults.
Researchers at Calvin College, a Christian school in Michigan, surveyed 2,600 people and included interviews with 179 teenagers. They concluded that children spanked by their parents may perform better at school and grow up to be happier than those who don't receive such punishment.
Teenagers who were spanked up to age six reported that they were more successful in school, more interested in attending university, more likely to work as volunteers and more positive about life, the researchers say.


Read more: http://www.ctvnews.ca/contentious-study-says-spanking-may-benefit-children-1.471361#ixzz2iYpWLF1A


Posted By: bunzaveli
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 10:48am
spankings teached me how to lie better, im pretty sure my dad knew i was lying though.


Posted By: FarraFace
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 10:49am
Originally posted by bunzaveli bunzaveli wrote:

spankings teached me how to lie better, im pretty sure my dad knew i was lying though.

Stop posting in this thread please.


Posted By: 510QUEEN
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 10:56am
i turned out just fine -_-


Posted By: Naturalchick30
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 10:58am

LOL



Posted By: KeraNykole
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 11:02am

I have made it a point not to spank my child. I was spanked a lot as a child...and most times, for no good reason. It was clear that my mom looked for the easy way out by inflicting fear into me, instead of teaching me, and talking to me about right and wrong. I grew to resent her.

I will take the exact opposite approach with my daughter. Patience is key. Spanking, IMO is a force from a lack of patience. You'd be surprised how taking a non-physical approach can yield positive results. It's working wonders with my daughter.

But with that said...every child is different...so is every parent.

My 2 cents... Wink



Posted By: tatee
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 11:05am
Jones are we really comparing a study  published in the journal of american academy of pediatrics with one from calvin college (christian reform church)...i'll take it.  sounds about right.


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 11:06am
I posted two but ok I'll look for more
Studies usually have a slant either thinly veiled or less obvious...
We can talk about the liberal leanings of this research too but.... Ok


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 11:07am
Originally posted by FarraFace FarraFace wrote:

Originally posted by bunzaveli bunzaveli wrote:

spankings teached me how to lie better, im pretty sure my dad knew i was lying though.
Stop posting in this thread please.
HAAAAAAAAH!! 

because i was like, "teached"? op study validated? !!!


Posted By: FarraFace
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 11:07am
^^^^Guhhhhhhhhhl! I read that and was like





Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:


.............

A new U.S. study that has drawn criticism from rights advocates says children who are spanked may grow up to be happier, more productive adults.
Researchers at Calvin College, a Christian school in Michigan, surveyed 2,600 people and included interviews with 179 teenagers. They concluded that children spanked by their parents may perform better at school and grow up to be happier than those who don't receive such punishment.
Teenagers who were spanked up to age six reported that they were more successful in school, more interested in attending university, more likely to work as volunteers and more positive about life, the researchers say.


Read more: http://www.ctvnews.ca/contentious-study-says-spanking-may-benefit-children-1.471361#ixzz2iYpWLF1A

Wait, wait, wait a damn minute! So....child development doesn't stop at age 9?




Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 11:10am
!!


Posted By: HunnyB
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 11:11am
This research is inadequate......Where is the control variable (comparison to children that don't get spanked).




Posted By: tatee
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 11:14am
Originally posted by HunnyB HunnyB wrote:

This research is inadequate......Where is the control variable (comparison to children that don't get spanked).




http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/early/2013/10/16/peds.2013-1227.full.pdf+html" rel="nofollow - http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/early/2013/10/16/peds.2013-1227.full.pdf+html


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 11:20am
Nevermind


Posted By: AshBash89
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 11:29am
Everything isn't for everybody. Discipline should be on a child to child bases. What works on one child may not work on another.


Posted By: BrownQtee
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 11:34am
A little pop on the hand can be very effective when small children don't listen. I'm bias anyway, because I believe I turned out fine LOL


Posted By: kfoxx1998
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 11:36am
So true.  My three kids were born at least 8yrs apart and they couldn't be more different (behavior is completely different).  I had one who would do ANYTHING to get privileges back and one who was well versed in just manipulating Dad into giving in.   Last one who DGAF, you ain't hurting me by taking away that stuff "I don't care about that anyway" but will bug the life out of you and sit and stare at you til you can't take in anymore.


Posted By: herwoman
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 11:37am
I read the article not the thread. I have never agreed with spanking, I didn't spank my child and I hope when he has children he will use his words and not his hands.


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 11:40am
I think the nagging and fussing annoyed me more than the spanking.
My lady can talk her head off.

What I do find interesting is my mama is absolutely again anyone at anytime spanking her grandchild but she spanked us.


Posted By: Lonisha87
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 11:43am
Nothing wrong with getting spanked. Kept me in line. Now getting beat, that's the sh*t that does harm. That's where you really damage kids


Posted By: Lady ICE
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 11:46am
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:


What I do find interesting is my mama is absolutely again anyone at anytime spanking her grandchild but she spanked us
.
grandparents are like that. and i have 2 sets do deal with.Ermm


Posted By: herwoman
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 11:47am
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

I think the nagging and fussing annoyed me more than the spanking.
My lady can talk her head off.

What I do find interesting is my mama is absolutely again anyone at anytime spanking her grandchild but she spanked us.
Hello! Grandparents a damn trip. Don't spank their grands or there will be hell to pay smh.


Posted By: mommykat
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 11:51am
Originally posted by AshBash89 AshBash89 wrote:

Everything isn't for everybody. Discipline should be on a child to child bases. What works on one child may not work on another.




Posted By: Random Thoughts
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 11:53am
Curious as what some feel the difference between a beating and a spanking is.

I remember reading a debate one time before and the father said a spanking to him was one or two smacks on the butt with an open palm. A beating to him was hitting with a belt or switch or shoe or whatever.

Thoughts?





Posted By: kfoxx1998
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 11:54am
Anything involving an object (i.e. belt, shoe, stick) is a beating IMO. 


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 11:56am


they need to give it a rest


Posted By: mommykat
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 12:00pm
Originally posted by Random Thoughts Random Thoughts wrote:

Curious as what some feel the difference between a beating and a spanking is.

I remember reading a debate one time before and the father said a spanking to him was one or two smacks on the butt with an open palm. A beating to him was hitting with a belt or switch or shoe or whatever.

Thoughts?



Hmmm^^^ ....

We do NOT spank... I just give him the eye and tell him that I have soap like in the movie A Christmas Story

ETA: typo's


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 12:10pm
Originally posted by Random Thoughts Random Thoughts wrote:

Curious as what some feel the difference between a beating and a spanking is.
well if:
Originally posted by kfoxx1998 kfoxx1998 wrote:

Anything involving an object (i.e. belt, shoe, stick) is a beating IMO.  
is accurate, then i've just learned that i was being beaten all these years.

seriously though-- personally, i distinguish when it comes to intent and execution. is the parent in an angry, reactionary frame of mind and/or excessive (swatting for more than a second or two)? then that's a beating to me. i can definitely/obviously see where objects make the difference though. objects are just my norm. 


Posted By: mommykat
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 12:18pm
Originally posted by kfoxx1998 kfoxx1998 wrote:

Anything involving an object (i.e. belt, shoe, stick) is a beating IMO. 



ITA


Posted By: Chyna_Li
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 12:28pm
didnt read/view video. if you deem it necessary for your kid then handle your biz


Posted By: Az~Maverick
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 12:35pm
Originally posted by niecy niecy wrote:

Really now? Because I got behind whoopings, albeit not that often, and I turned out just fine.

Yup me too! 

Aaaaand, I lived to tell about it! LOL


Posted By: Lady ICE
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 12:40pm
its rare that i spank mine. usually just 4 hits on the hand...well...if you can call that spanking.
some kids need it. idc what folks say...talking doesnt always work. taking things doesnt work.
kids these days..are outta control spanking their parents now...what do you guys suggest should be done
in place of spankings?



Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 1:06pm
Spanking should be last resort but I don't think anyone should beat their kids with belts or extension cords (I had both Ouch). It's VERY unnecessary.


Posted By: kfoxx1998
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 1:39pm
Originally posted by nekamarie83 nekamarie83 wrote:

Originally posted by Random Thoughts Random Thoughts wrote:

Curious as what some feel the difference between a beating and a spanking is.
well if:
Originally posted by kfoxx1998 kfoxx1998 wrote:

Anything involving an object (i.e. belt, shoe, stick) is a beating IMO.  
is accurate, then i've just learned that i was being beaten all these years.

seriously though-- personally, i distinguish when it comes to intent and execution. is the parent in an angry, reactionary frame of mind and/or excessive (swatting for more than a second or two)? then that's a beating to me. i can definitely/obviously see where objects make the difference though. objects are just my norm. 


You had a smart mouth huh?  Me too, that's how I knowOuch


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 2:26pm
If you grew up being spanked then I don't understand the part that worked...assuming you had to be spanked more than once...when did it start working? A different tactic would've taken multiple times as well. Kids I know that get spanked get it on a semi regular or regular basis and I find it hard to believe that everyone on the board who agrees with it only got it when it was absolutely necessary and if u believe that, what were u doing that all kids don't do? Spanking makes the parent feel like they're actually doing something because their own nervous system is getting a work out.   


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 2:28pm
If you don't agree with spankings then don't spank...



Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 2:29pm
No sh*t


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 2:32pm
Well that about clears it up.
It's a method of discipline if you choose not to take part ...don't.


Isnt that what the pro choice side usually says when an abortion debate erupts


Posted By: Lady ICE
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 2:34pm
what do you suggest should be put in place instead of spankings?


Posted By: Ds2nice
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 2:42pm
He needs to shut the hell up.  He should do studies based on his own cultural experiences and stop writing about other cultures that he clearly doesn't know much about. 
 
In fact, he should get his a$$ whopped for writing this silly-a$$ article.


Posted By: Naturalchick30
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 2:44pm


Posted By: Lady ICE
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 2:50pm
LOLLOL


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 3:23pm
Originally posted by kfoxx1998 kfoxx1998 wrote:

You had a smart mouth huh?  Me too, that's how I knowOuch
yep and at "had". 

i'd be dead long before they could beat that outta me. Beer


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 3:38pm
Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

If you grew up being spanked then I don't understand the part that worked...assuming you had to be spanked more than once...when did it start working? A different tactic would've taken multiple times as well. Kids I know that get spanked get it on a semi regular or regular basis and I find it hard to believe that everyone on the board who agrees with it only got it when it was absolutely necessary and if u believe that, what were u doing that all kids don't do? Spanking makes the parent feel like they're actually doing something because their own nervous system is getting a work out.
this is the part that could i beg to say, that if other tactics have to be applied more than once, when do they start working? i'm assuming kids have to be put in time out, have their things taken away, be grounded, etc. more than once. where is their validity in comparison? for my mother, spanking was rare by 3rd grade and phased out completely by the end of elementary (5th). so yeah, it did work. 

i guess what i did was pay attention and learn from my mistakes. it encouraged me to think twice, even thrice, before acting.


Posted By: Random Thoughts
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 3:46pm
Originally posted by nekamarie83 nekamarie83 wrote:

Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

If you grew up being spanked then I don't understand the part that worked...assuming you had to be spanked more than once...when did it start working? A different tactic would've taken multiple times as well. Kids I know that get spanked get it on a semi regular or regular basis and I find it hard to believe that everyone on the board who agrees with it only got it when it was absolutely necessary and if u believe that, what were u doing that all kids don't do? Spanking makes the parent feel like they're actually doing something because their own nervous system is getting a work out.
this is the part that could i beg to say, that if other tactics have to be applied more than once, when do they start working? i'm assuming kids have to be put in time out, have their things taken away, be grounded, etc. more than once. where is their validity in comparison? for my mother, spanking was rare by 3rd grade and phased out completely by the end of elementary (5th). so yeah, it did work. 

i guess what i did was pay attention and learn from my mistakes. it encouraged me to think twice, even thrice, before acting.


It's a good question, and I'd def like to see some studies on the alternatives to spanking. But if those things aren't doing psychological harm or increasing the odds of emotional issues like repeated spankings do, then it not working isn't as damaging...


Posted By: Random Thoughts
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 3:48pm
My cousin got a whooping like every weekend. I used to wonder if he and his mom ever got tired of the same routine. He'd weigh the cost benefit of fun vs those licks from the switch. He picked fun more times than not. LOL


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 3:54pm
Originally posted by Random Thoughts Random Thoughts wrote:

It's a good question, and I'd def like to see some studies on the alternatives to spanking. But if those things aren't doing psychological harm or increasing the odds of emotional issues like repeated spankings do, then it not working isn't as damaging...
and i definitely agree with that. as i mentioned before, i think when it gets there, it's purely the parents. they are lazy, discouraged or genuinely ignorant as to what they could do differently. 

however, due to those people, spanking in general isn't a good look. you obviously have to put in the brain work and figure what works best for any child at any moment. obviously, if spanking is not for you, don't do it. however, i feel it's shortsighted to speak as though spanking automatically equals flaw in parenting. 


Posted By: Ds2nice
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 3:57pm
Originally posted by CherryBlossom CherryBlossom wrote:

Originally posted by Ds2nice Ds2nice wrote:

He needs to shut the hell up.  He should do studies based on his own cultural experiences and stop writing about other cultures that he clearly doesn't know much about. 
 
In fact, he should get his a$$ whopped for writing this silly-a$$ article.
LOLCry..reminds me of this:

  

  
 
LOLLOL


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 4:04pm
BHM spanking topics are becoming a staple. I enjoy the spread of factual info and personal stories.

http://forum.blackhairmedia.com/how-to-properly-spank-a-child_topic325822_page1.html" rel="nofollow - http://forum.blackhairmedia.com/how-to-properly-spank-a-child_topic325822_page1.html

http://forum.blackhairmedia.com/how-do-you-feel-about-this-quote_topic364043_page1.html?KW=spanking" rel="nofollow - http://forum.blackhairmedia.com/how-do-you-feel-about-this-quote_topic364043_page1.html?KW=spanking

http://forum.blackhairmedia.com/how-do-will-you-punish-your-kids_topic362937.html?KW=spanking" rel="nofollow - http://forum.blackhairmedia.com/how-do-will-you-punish-your-kids_topic362937.html?KW=spanking


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 4:06pm
Originally posted by Random Thoughts Random Thoughts wrote:

My cousin got a whooping like every weekend. I used to wonder if he and his mom ever got tired of the same routine.
Funny you'd mention. That was one of the beginnings of the end for us. Usually when parents pull the "this hurts me more than it hurts you" you call bs. Who knows what I did, but my mom looked genuinely hurt/disappointed. Like "we're too old for this". Bless her heart, it was a wrap.

I think it was when I stole something… *shrug*


Posted By: Printer_Ink
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 4:52pm
Of course spanking damages children in the long run!
 
This is common sense. DUH!
 
Spanking is the lazy way to disipline kids ... and it does not work. You are supposed to talk and reason with your child which takes a lot more time patience but works and your kids don't grow up feeling shamed, feeling bad about themselves and being aggressive and angry or 'cowed'.
 
Why bring kids into the world just to mess them up mentally?
 


Posted By: Az~Maverick
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 5:25pm
It's the Attack of the Attention Slore I see.......Sleepy


Posted By: Az~Maverick
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 5:32pm
Originally posted by CherryBlossom CherryBlossom wrote:

Originally posted by Ds2nice Ds2nice wrote:

He needs to shut the hell up.  He should do studies based on his own cultural experiences and stop writing about other cultures that he clearly doesn't know much about. 
 
In fact, he should get his a$$ whopped for writing this silly-a$$ article.
LOLCry..reminds me of this:

  

  


LOLCryLOL


Posted By: HowardAlumAKA
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 5:50pm
I blame the food they are feeding today's children for their behavior probs....


Posted By: nekamarie83
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 7:33pm
Originally posted by Printer_Ink Printer_Ink wrote:

Of course spanking damages children in the long run!
 
This is common sense. DUH!
 
Spanking is the lazy way to disipline kids ... and it does not work. You are supposed to talk and reason with your child which takes a lot more time patience but works and your kids don't grow up feeling shamed, feeling bad about themselves and being aggressive and angry or 'cowed'.
Why bring kids into the world just to mess them up mentally?
Totally. It's a good thing words don't hurt or ever cause any of these problems/feelings huh?


Posted By: FarraFace
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 7:36pm
I love Patti Labelle.


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 7:38pm
Originally posted by Printer_Ink Printer_Ink wrote:

 
Why bring kids into the world just to mess them up mentally?
 
Basically. But BHM ain't ready to see the whole picture on this topic. Maybe in 10 years. Assuming this board isn't completely dried up by then.


Posted By: Sang Froid
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 7:41pm
Lil' kids need to be whooped.
Grown kids gone do what they do and just take the ass whoopin'.


Posted By: noneyons
Date Posted: Oct 23 2013 at 8:30pm
i'm the most normal person i know and i got spankings from my mama. daddy never hit me though. 

printerink, were you not spanked as a child? is that why you're such silly nincompoop?


Posted By: purpulicious01
Date Posted: Oct 24 2013 at 8:16am
Originally posted by nekamarie83 nekamarie83 wrote:

Originally posted by purpulicious01 purpulicious01 wrote:

(I just finished reading How to Behave So Your Children Will Too =  a must read for all parents/future parents). 
the title of the book alone is a winner. cause some parents will swear up and down their kids are awful and it turns out that they are just sh!tty parents that don't know how to communicate, have little patience, act out of order themselves and are directly influencing their little one(s) and the cause of their problem. 

you want better, lead by example. kids don't appreciate hypocrites and they learned it by watching you. 

Exactly. It really starts with us.  

Majority of children's behaviors stem from modeling their parents' (and other adults) behaviors. 

Children follow in our footsteps, so we need to make sure that we are setting good examples. 

Being a good and successful parent is probably one of the hardest jobs in the world. 





Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Oct 24 2013 at 8:48am
I never spank my daughter . I can slightly raise my voice and she will start crying . So far India is a well behave child . The school gave her 2 awards for respect . I will take her ipad , computer, or favorite toy if she acts up a little bit . Only children are hard not to spoil . I remind her of our blessings .
 
My mother tried to spank me for talking back , but my father would pick me up and leave for a while . I only had one spanking for placing granny white church shoes in the toliet . I wish my mom spank me more and gave me less . Hard to grow up and find out things are very different as a Adult . I never want my daughter to be like me as a spoil child . My husband is against any form of spanking . Daddy girl , mommy maybe .Cry  


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Oct 24 2013 at 8:59am
Originally posted by Random Thoughts Random Thoughts wrote:

This rarely goes over well on a forum where many of the posters spank/received spankings. It's like they are so defensive that they won't even read what the study is actually saying.

Think it's worth reiterating that the study didn't say all kids. Says kids are at a greater risk. The headline for the study was written by CNN, not those doing the study.

defensive...and denial


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Oct 24 2013 at 9:09am
This is the subject y'all want to be frank about ?
When it comes to most anything else I have detected a different spin.


Posted By: Naturalchick30
Date Posted: Oct 24 2013 at 9:17am
Originally posted by india100 india100 wrote:

I never spank my daughter . I can slightly raise my voice and she will start crying . So far India is a well behave child . The school gave her 2 awards for respect . I will take her ipad , computer, or favorite toy if she acts up a little bit . Only children are hard not to spoil . I remind her of our blessings .
 
My mother tried to spank me for talking back , but my father would pick me up and leave for a while . I only had one spanking for placing granny white church shoes in the toliet . I wish my mom spank me more and gave me less . Hard to grow up and find out things are very different as a Adult . I never want my daughter to be like me as a spoil child . My husband is against any form of spanking . Daddy girl , mommy maybe .Cry  
LmaoLOLCry


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Oct 24 2013 at 9:23am
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

This is the subject y'all want to be frank about ?
When it comes to most anything else I have detected a different spin.
Question


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Oct 24 2013 at 9:23am
Originally posted by Naturalchick30 Naturalchick30 wrote:

Originally posted by india100 india100 wrote:

I never spank my daughter . I can slightly raise my voice and she will start crying . So far India is a well behave child . The school gave her 2 awards for respect . I will take her ipad , computer, or favorite toy if she acts up a little bit . Only children are hard not to spoil . I remind her of our blessings .
 
My mother tried to spank me for talking back , but my father would pick me up and leave for a while . I only had one spanking for placing granny white church shoes in the toliet . I wish my mom spank me more and gave me less . Hard to grow up and find out things are very different as a Adult . I never want my daughter to be like me as a spoil child . My husband is against any form of spanking . Daddy girl , mommy maybe .Cry  
LmaoLOLCry
Cry


Posted By: Wildfire
Date Posted: Oct 24 2013 at 9:33am
Fk Michael McKenzie.

There is a difference between a spanking and an ass whoopin and abuse. Appropriate spanking in moderation is fine. Meh.



Posted By: jmarie
Date Posted: Oct 24 2013 at 11:33am
My mother would beat the hell out of me just for looking at her the wrong way. She would put me in the headlock and punch me and everything. My father took custody of me because of her abuse. I told her when I grow up you'll never see my face again, and I barely saw her or talked to her until the day she died. I  beat my daughter for any little thing until she was was 3 yrs old, and one day I realized I was beating her just like my mother did me, so I stopped. My daughter and I are very close and I'm thankful she doesn't remember how I treated her when she was little. I know a lot of people probably won't agree with me.


Posted By: blaquefoxx
Date Posted: Oct 24 2013 at 11:39am
Originally posted by jmarie jmarie wrote:

My mother would beat the hell out of me just for looking at her the wrong way. She would put me in the headlock and punch me and everything. My father took custody of me because of her abuse. I told her when I grow up you'll never see my face again, and I barely saw her or talked to her until the day she died. I  beat my daughter for any little thing until she was was 3 yrs old, and one day I realized I was beating her just like my mother did me, so I stopped. My daughter and I are very close and I'm thankful she doesn't remember how I treated her when she was little. I know a lot of people probably won't agree with me.
Well damn :(


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Oct 24 2013 at 11:55am
Originally posted by jmarie jmarie wrote:

My mother would beat the hell out of me just for looking at her the wrong way. She would put me in the headlock and punch me and everything. My father took custody of me because of her abuse. I told her when I grow up you'll never see my face again, and I barely saw her or talked to her until the day she died. I  beat my daughter for any little thing until she was was 3 yrs old, and one day I realized I was beating her just like my mother did me, so I stopped. My daughter and I are very close and I'm thankful she doesn't remember how I treated her when she was little. I know a lot of people probably won't agree with me.
It ain't even about agreeing or disagreeing. They don't even hear you, sadly.


Posted By: jmarie
Date Posted: Oct 24 2013 at 11:56am
I still remember my first day of school I was crying because I was scared, and instead of my mother comforting me she knocked me down the stairs and told me to go.



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