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Skin Color and Kids

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Printed Date: Dec 11 2018 at 12:35am


Topic: Skin Color and Kids
Posted By: indiecat
Subject: Skin Color and Kids
Date Posted: Sep 24 2013 at 10:56pm
So, today at work, I see 2 little black girls both in the first grade arguing. They are similar in skin color, one is brown and the other is a little bit darker. the brown skinned one told the other girl that they aren't friends because she doesn't like her and that the other girl had darker skin compared to her. the other girl is a new student, so what a bad way to welcome her. there aren't that many black kids at the school I work at by the way. Anyways, I got angry and pulled the brown skinned girl to the side. I told her that it doesn't matter what your skin color is, that everybody is different and that doesn't make anybody bad or better and that she was nearly the same color as the other girl. I told her that i never wanted to hear her say anything like she said again or I'd be taking to her mom. This same girl has a huge problem with listening by the way.

Does it start that early? I'm wondering if it came from her parents or tv or she was trying to fit in. That pissed me off, the other black girl gave me a hug before she got picked up and said bye.

as a kid, I don't think I treated kids with diff skin colors differently, but I knew maybe i would get treated differently because of being darker.



Replies:
Posted By: creole booty
Date Posted: Sep 24 2013 at 11:00pm
Yes, ignorance can start real early. Babies don't know any better, they just imitate. I've seen what ur talking about too. Made me look at the world from a perspective I'd never considered.


Posted By: ChubbyYeti
Date Posted: Sep 24 2013 at 11:01pm
I don't know where kids learn it. My mom grew up in Mobile, Alabama in the 50s/60s and black kids in elementary would tease her because of her dark skin. My cousin experienced the same thing from kids and family members (other cousins) in the 90s.


Posted By: Alias_Avi
Date Posted: Sep 24 2013 at 11:09pm
Sometimes it's learned, sometimes it's natural

I was working daycare for a (multi-racial) church once and this lil  2 year old White boy asked me "Why does your skin look like that?" (referring to my skin color). I told him that that was my skin color and that some people have different skin tones

He said "Oh. I don't like it" and continued playing with me like nothing ever happened Stern Smile






Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Sep 24 2013 at 11:11pm
I pray I live to see the day blacks get it together...

that poor girl is probably teased at home, learned behavior


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Sep 24 2013 at 11:16pm
do y'all really believe kids can learn this on their own?

we aren't born knowing anything positively or negatively about race or what each skin tone represents in this society until someone teaches us

I thought kids mock what they see



Posted By: Omgitsdannie101
Date Posted: Sep 24 2013 at 11:36pm
I think it's usually learned. I work with really young kids (ages 2-5), I have to say its really heart warming to see that they play with everyone despite being different races.  


Posted By: Printer_Ink
Date Posted: Sep 25 2013 at 5:14am
It's learned behavior and it stems from the family. (And how did White people get co-oped once again into this discussion about how Black people treat each other? )
No matter what the world says about how you look  .. your family is the biggest influencer in your upbringing and if they are 'color struck' .. you will be too. (Unless you get a hold of yourself but in the Black community .. once you are 'struck' ... you tend to stay struck in my experience.) Confused
 
 


Posted By: tatee
Date Posted: Sep 25 2013 at 5:31am
it's learned behavior taught to black children by the black adults in their lives.  black people try to play a game white played and lose everything because we don't know the rules change on a whim of whites and are never in our favor.  so we play "this preferential treatment to light skinned blacks" game not realizing whites only do it out of necessity to divide and conquer and not love.  but when black people do it its done out of love.  a love for anything that doesn't remind them of their own self  passed on from generation after generation.  ive seen black parents trip over their only brown skin and brown eyed children to fawn over a child light skinned, with green eyes or long hair. how would a small child interpret that behavior from a parent who scowls,punishes or beats them for any perceived wrong behavior and yet suddenly turns loving and gentile for a child they do not know based on so little? we are all responsible.


Posted By: Sang Froid
Date Posted: Sep 25 2013 at 6:00am
Probably her mother or grandmother.


Posted By: Naturalchick30
Date Posted: Sep 25 2013 at 6:07am
Originally posted by Printer_Ink Printer_Ink wrote:

It's learned behavior and it stems from the family. (And how did White people get co-oped once again into this discussion about how Black people treat each other? )
No matter what the world says about how you look  .. your family is the biggest influencer in your upbringing and if they are 'color struck' .. you will be too. (Unless you get a hold of yourself but in the Black community .. once you are 'struck' ... you tend to stay struck in my experience.) Confused
 
 
Where did you read that? 


Posted By: TokyoRose
Date Posted: Sep 25 2013 at 6:20am
There is a difference between a child who is curious and a child who learned to behave towards others. 

When you have two black children arguing over how "black" one of them is, that is definitely learned.  Just last week I had a little girl (first grader) ask me why I was black.  I was so shocked I didn't know what to say, so I pointed to her skin and asked, "Why are you tan?"  She had this confused look on her face.  So I said, "same reason."  She is Korean, by the way.  The week before a 5th grader wanted to try that with me, I could tell the difference, so I said, "Stop being so obnoxious."  LOL

By the way, Becky, are you upset that we are talking about your people, again?


Posted By: Naturalchick30
Date Posted: Sep 25 2013 at 6:41am
[QUOTE=TokyoRose]There is a difference between a child who is curious and a child who learned to behave towards others. 

When you have two black children arguing over how "black" one of them is, that is definitely learned.  Just last week I had a little girl (first grader) ask me why I was black.  I was so shocked I didn't know what to say, so I pointed to her skin and asked, "Why are you tan?"  She had this confused look on her face.  So I said, "same reason."  She is Korean, by the way.  The week before a 5th grader wanted to try that with me, I could tell the difference, so I said, "Stop being so obnoxious."  LOL

By the way, Becky, are you upset that we are talking about your people, again?[/QUOTE]
Chile..LOL


Posted By: femmemichelle
Date Posted: Sep 25 2013 at 7:12am
Lol that's why I had no black friends prior to middle school. I did not tolerate any teasing because of my skin color. I got suspended I think in kindergarten or first grade because some black girl called me a burnt cookie and I took a pencil and jammed it into her hand Stern Smile Don't judge me.


Posted By: whitrhymes
Date Posted: Sep 25 2013 at 7:52am
I can remember kids acting like this when I was a child. I never partook in tha kind of behavior, even as a kid I felt like I knew it was ignorant. Maybe because in household there was such a diverse color range and my parents never talked about one skin tone as being letter than the other. My dad is pretty light with green eyes, my mom is much darker, a reddish brown color, my sister is darker than my mom but not so red, and I am lighter than my dad...


Posted By: Ms_Kudos
Date Posted: Sep 25 2013 at 8:42am
Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

I got suspended I think in kindergarten or first grade because some black girl called me a burnt cookie and I took a pencil and jammed it into her hand Stern Smile Don't judge me.

WOOOWWWW!!  

It's definitely learned, and it is hard to break.  I remember one of my 'closest' friends in hs always talking about how she wished she was lighter.  Right in my face, I'm like, "...but I get more dudes than you..."


Posted By: Senior Detective
Date Posted: Sep 25 2013 at 9:01am
Originally posted by whitrhymes whitrhymes wrote:

I can remember kids acting like this when I was a child. I never partook in tha kind of behavior, even as a kid I felt like I knew it was ignorant. Maybe because in household there was such a diverse color range and my parents never talked about one skin tone as being letter than the other. My dad is pretty light with green eyes, my mom is much darker, a reddish brown color, my sister is darker than my mom but not so red, and I am lighter than my dad...
Is that u in ur avi?  Very pretty


Posted By: Senior Detective
Date Posted: Sep 25 2013 at 9:09am
I don't think its always learned.  Children are still ppl & ppl form their own opinions of what they like from what they don't like.   The way that my father feels about colorism is not the way I feel about it.  The way he feels about religion. politics, feminism, rape culture, money, etc.. is not how I feel about it. 
 
I'm pretty sure there are many things that went on in ur homes that you don't practice or agree with.  Just because we learn it, doesn't mean we have to follow it


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Sep 25 2013 at 9:10am
I think the media /commercials play a big part . Young children donot see race/color . My daughter ask me at 2 why her skin was not pretty like the white kids on S street . I explain to her for the next few years how beautuful black skin color was . During the President Obama Re election , I found out first hand by working in the classroom , WHITE PARENTS!! where teaching the kids that black skin is ugly .
 
The children came back repeating the awful streotype names blacks are given my racist white folk . My daughter attends a private predominatly white school with many Arabic or Indian classmates . I ask the principal for 20 minutes to speak with the classroom regarding race issues .
 
 
The children cried and said sorry a million times . I teach India everyone is equal regardless of race . We talk about race issues often due to our crazy world . I think more white parents teach racist views to young children veres black parents based on what i have seen . I never dream to teach india racism . She will go through it all her life . I will listen and address all concerns she may have . My baby is fully aware people will hate her based on her race .


Posted By: whitrhymes
Date Posted: Sep 25 2013 at 10:49am
Originally posted by Senior Detective Senior Detective wrote:

Originally posted by whitrhymes whitrhymes wrote:

I can remember kids acting like this when I was a child. I never partook in tha kind of behavior, even as a kid I felt like I knew it was ignorant. Maybe because in household there was such a diverse color range and my parents never talked about one skin tone as being letter than the other. My dad is pretty light with green eyes, my mom is much darker, a reddish brown color, my sister is darker than my mom but not so red, and I am lighter than my dad...
Is that u in ur avi?  Very pretty
Yes that's me. Thank you :)


Posted By: AmiliaCabral
Date Posted: Sep 25 2013 at 11:19am
My mom used to pull "the other kids dont like you cuz you pretty and light skinned" all the time
 
I yelled at my teacher when I was like 6 or 7 that she was just mad bc she was dark and ugly
 
and that's crazy bc she's lighter than my moms
 
I had to stop my sister from telling her daughter that, the other kids don't like her cuz she got a rotten attitude and so did I


Posted By: NARSAddict
Date Posted: Sep 25 2013 at 7:44pm
I say it is learned, either actively or passively taught. 


Posted By: blaquefoxx
Date Posted: Sep 25 2013 at 8:47pm
I definitely remember having the black vs. brown vs. light conversations in kindergartenPinch

I got teased by other children and even grown ups for my complexion. Try growing up in a family full of color-struck negroes who swore up and down they descended from Geronimo and nemSleepy


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Sep 25 2013 at 10:58pm
It is not just family. It is also the people who are around your children and other kids. My niece is an only child and she has done this. Her mom is dark, but her mom hangs around ignorant heauxs and their ratchet kids. She also is in daycare.


Posted By: Cream1970
Date Posted: Sep 25 2013 at 11:11pm
Skin tone and which was "better" or "worse" was never discussed in my family. It wasn't basis for any arguments in school either. May be it's a regional thing. Never witnessed the ls/ds drama until I was in my 30's.

If chics disliked or resented me because of my skin tone when I was younger, I wasn't aware of it.


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Sep 26 2013 at 12:21am
IMO ijs media influences a child's view on skin color as well. Books, magazines, billboards, commercials, tv shows, cartoons, movies, etc. We adults can pick up on the biases when it comes to Black skin/hair but I think kids are probably picking them up unconsciously.


Posted By: GoldieLocks
Date Posted: Sep 26 2013 at 9:29am
I will never forget the day my little five year old cousin came over and she started crying to my aunt asking her why she couldn't be light skinned with "good hair" like everyone else in the family. She was so upset and she said it's not fair because the teachers liked the light skinned girls better, would play in their hair and tell them how pretty they were and would treat her badly. I remember us all tearing up with her. People can be so disgusting...

I think sometimes people feed into the light vs dark without even paying attention. Especially when it comes to praising features in some but not others. Kids pick these things up easily.


Posted By: Lady ICE
Date Posted: Sep 26 2013 at 10:09am
at 2 and 4 my kids were talking about skin color with each other.  when i asked about the details my thing 1 says. I was tellin thing 2 that we have different skin. she says I'm brown, thing 2 is white, and mommy youre really dark brown. Ermm (cause i didnt know that)

i asked if that was problem she said no. we just all have different colors. it was later explained to me that kids see in color. thats the most i've ever heard kids say.



Posted By: slayfresh
Date Posted: Sep 26 2013 at 10:16am
I never grew up with this directly in my family but I think my aunt may have instilled some of this in her children. Her oldest used to be light skin and then got dark. Now whenever she posts photos of her own child she is always talking about how pretty and light and mixed she is. I just don't get it.
 
One of my best friends in hs used to try to pull that sh*t and would be offended when guys would approach me instead of her at times.


Posted By: MsBMW
Date Posted: Sep 26 2013 at 10:25am
Originally posted by blaquefoxx blaquefoxx wrote:

I definitely remember having the black vs. brown vs. light conversations in kindergartenPinch

I got teased by other children and even grown ups for my complexion. Try growing up in a family full of color-struck negroes who swore up and down they descended from Geronimo and nemSleepy

I went thru the same thing with my cousins and sadly my mother (may she rest in peace)... My mother use to tell her 1st niece she was the prettiest because she was light and her favorite niece...imagine you have three dark skin daughters and you telling her that in our face we was just looking likeOuch what about us??Cry


Posted By: Naturalchick30
Date Posted: Sep 26 2013 at 10:28am
Originally posted by blaquefoxx blaquefoxx wrote:

I definitely remember having the black vs. brown vs. light conversations in kindergartenPinch

I got teased by other children and even grown ups for my complexion. Try growing up in a family full of color-struck negroes who swore up and down they descended from Geronimo and nemSleepy
DEAD!!DeadLOL


Posted By: GoldieLocks
Date Posted: Sep 26 2013 at 12:40pm
Originally posted by MsBMW MsBMW wrote:

Originally posted by blaquefoxx blaquefoxx wrote:

I definitely remember having the black vs. brown vs. light conversations in kindergartenPinch

I got teased by other children and even grown ups for my complexion. Try growing up in a family full of color-struck negroes who swore up and down they descended from Geronimo and nemSleepy

I went thru the same thing with my cousins and sadly my mother (may she rest in peace)... My mother use to tell her 1st niece she was the prettiest because she was light and her favorite niece...imagine you have three dark skin daughters and you telling her that in our face we was just looking likeOuch what about us??Cry


 I'm sorry that happened to you... DisapproveHug


Posted By: Rumbera
Date Posted: Sep 26 2013 at 1:29pm
Skin color was never an issue in my family
 
I was about 6 or 7 and I asked my cousin date (who came to pick her up), why he was so black ? how did he get so black ? I think I was geniunely curious.... However, my mom felt otherwise ...Stern Smile
 
 


Posted By: BrownQtee
Date Posted: Sep 26 2013 at 1:45pm
SMH..OP that is so sad. The cycle continues.
 


Posted By: MsBMW
Date Posted: Sep 26 2013 at 1:46pm
Originally posted by GoldieLocks GoldieLocks wrote:

Originally posted by MsBMW MsBMW wrote:

Originally posted by blaquefoxx blaquefoxx wrote:

I definitely remember having the black vs. brown vs. light conversations in kindergartenPinch

I got teased by other children and even grown ups for my complexion. Try growing up in a family full of color-struck negroes who swore up and down they descended from Geronimo and nemSleepy

I went thru the same thing with my cousins and sadly my mother (may she rest in peace)... My mother use to tell her 1st niece she was the prettiest because she was light and her favorite niece...imagine you have three dark skin daughters and you telling her that in our face we was just looking likeOuch what about us??Cry


 I'm sorry that happened to you... DisapproveHug
Thanks Goldie...Hug



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