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Still in love with my EX (serious relationship)

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Category: Lets Talk
Forum Name: Relationships
Forum Description: Single, Married, Dating, or Other, Lets Talk About It.
URL: http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=364406
Printed Date: Apr 24 2018 at 12:18am


Topic: Still in love with my EX (serious relationship)
Posted By: Ex0tiC_Azn
Subject: Still in love with my EX (serious relationship)
Date Posted: Sep 16 2013 at 1:29am
So I was in a 3 and a half year relationship with someone I've known all my life.. He's 5 years older than me which makes him 24 and I'm 19.. He was my first real and serious relationship, and I'm his longest relationship he's ever had.. Well, we've always been on and off but this year he decided to really "break" us off. We'd usually get back together, but he just isn't Tryna be in a relationship anymore.. To make this long story short, I'm still so deeply in love with him and I can't seem to let go! I talk to other dudes but they don't compare to my original boo! I usually let my pride get in the way and I'd always wait for him to hit me up since our "seperation" cuz I don't wanna make it seem like I'm desperate, or still wants to talk to him. But anyway, recently I finally decided to put my pride down cuz I was really missing him BADLY. I really wanted to try and revive our relationship. Sidenote* throughout our whole relationship I was madly in love and faithful to him. I was his down chick and his ride or die & he was my other half regardless how many times he hurt me and did me wrong.* anyway, he was really a big part of me and I just can't move on y'all.. Do y'all think I'm crazy for still being in love? Or should I still have hope and keep trying? Another thing, he calls me here and there telling me he misses me and our convos stay small. I told him to stop calling me a week ago and he really hasn't called me since. He usually calls by now & now I can't stand not hearing from him..



Replies:
Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Sep 16 2013 at 1:38am
Let him go and move on.

You're still very young. You can move on with time. Try focusing on other times to take your mind off of him. Like school... Hang out with your friends.... Pick up a new hobby.




Posted By: Ex0tiC_Azn
Date Posted: Sep 16 2013 at 1:51am
Thanks.. My family and friends tell me the same thing. But I only really think about him before bed.


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Sep 16 2013 at 2:10am
It's hard to get over your first love. I know Hug

I used to obsess about my first love. I would think about him all day. Wondering if he was thinking about me. Check up on him on twitter.  I realized I was driving myself crazy thinking about him all the time! I had to distract myself and try to focus on other things. Cuz at the end of the day, he def wasn't thinking at me lol


Posted By: morenaloca
Date Posted: Sep 16 2013 at 3:02am
He hurt you and did you wrong? Forget him, you are too exotic for this....


Posted By: EasterBell
Date Posted: Sep 16 2013 at 8:31am
Originally posted by morenaloca morenaloca wrote:

He hurt you and did you wrong? Forget him, you are too exotic for this....
Time to move on.. Continue with No contact and worry about yourself..


Posted By: Printer_Ink
Date Posted: Sep 16 2013 at 10:56am
Originally posted by BBpants BBpants wrote:

Let him go and move on.

You're still very young. You can move on with time. Try focusing on other times to take your mind off of him. Like school... Hang out with your friends.... Pick up a new hobby.


 
Basically  ....yeah.Shocked
 
I mean you are 19 .. sorry to say, you have a looooooing life ahead of you ... this is just a bump in the road. BesideS, WHY THE HECK you are hung up on getting back with a man that treated you bad off and on?
 
That's not normal.
 
Forget about him .. move on a guy that treats you right ALL THE TIME.


Posted By: AmiliaCabral
Date Posted: Sep 16 2013 at 4:19pm
You just gotta take it day by day. it'll get easier 
 
I used to shout I was my ex's ride or die all the time, but whats the use in being a ride or die for a wishy washy type dude? I  learned the hard way never to give a man more than he gives me. If I'm down to backflip across the country for him and he cant go to the fridge and get me some water then somethings off.
 
Booboo da fool had me thinking he was a prince more than a couple times. You live and grow up and God willing you learn from your mistakes


Posted By: missdeeluxe
Date Posted: Sep 16 2013 at 4:29pm
Aww, I feel for you Heart
It took me the longest time to get over my first love.

You really gotta cut off all ties in order to truly move on.
You can't be free of someone if you're still texting them or seeing their pictures on FB.

Let go and give it time, lots and lots of time.
The hurt subsides and eventually you're just able to look back and smile at the good memories and forget the rest.



Posted By: Blac1Chyna
Date Posted: Sep 16 2013 at 10:50pm
I was like that over my last ex (major ex) but I moved on. You really have to cut yourself off from him and throw yourself into other activities, positive ones, to deal with it. sitting around all day stalking that man FB wont do a damn thing for you. time will help you move on. you'll be wondering why you ever gave a fuk


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Sep 17 2013 at 3:43pm
Originally posted by Ex0tiC_Azn Ex0tiC_Azn wrote:

Well, we've always been on and off but this year he decided to really "break" us off. We'd usually get back together, but he just isn't Tryna be in a relationship anymore.. To make this long story short, I'm still so deeply in love with him and I can't seem to let go! I talk to other dudes but they don't compare to my original boo! I usually let my pride get in the way and I'd always wait for him to hit me up since our "seperation" cuz I don't wanna make it seem like I'm desperate, or still wants to talk to him. But anyway, recently I finally decided to put my pride down cuz I was really missing him BADLY. I really wanted to try and revive our relationship. Sidenote* throughout our whole relationship I was madly in love and faithful to him. I was his down chick and his ride or die & he was my other half regardless how many times he hurt me and did me wrong.* anyway, he was really a big part of me and I just can't move on y'all.. Do y'all think I'm crazy for still being in love? Or should I still have hope and keep trying? Another thing, he calls me here and there telling me he misses me and our convos stay small. I told him to stop calling me a week ago and he really hasn't called me since. He usually calls by now & now I can't stand not hearing from him..


You weren't in a serious or real relationship if it has always been on and off. He tasted the other side (the SINGLE side) and decided that having an on-and-off girlfriend who was always available, who was his down chick, who was his ride or die chick wasn't worth it, when he could experiment with all the other single women out there.

He does not value you and the fact that "he did you wrong" shows that he did not value you even when he was with you.

He calls you to get laid. That's it. He doesn't miss you. Men know how to manipulate an ex who is still in love with them.


Eventually you'll hate him for "doing you wrong" but now you are still stuck in this silly belief that he is your other half. He is not, because you were loyal and in love, and he wasn't. You need to focus on yourself: improve your resume, go look for a better job, or focus on school, get better grades so you can have a better future. Go spend time with your family, go out with friends to place you have not been, etc.


Posted By: Ex0tiC_Azn
Date Posted: Sep 17 2013 at 11:26pm
Thanks for all the responses ladies <3 I just wanted to hear advice from other woman that I don't personally know, & I wanted to get yall perspective on this situation. I really do appreciate it and I'm glad to know that some of you have been in my situation... But on a good note, a good old "friend" of mine reconnected with me recently and my mind hasn't been focused on my ex anymore. It's like he came to my rescue y'all. I guess I was just lonely and needed a real man to lift all that weight off my shoulders!


Posted By: Ex0tiC_Azn
Date Posted: Sep 17 2013 at 11:38pm
Lol stalking his FB is all I did ! So I'm not the only one huh?


Posted By: Printer_Ink
Date Posted: Sep 18 2013 at 5:56am
Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

Originally posted by Ex0tiC_Azn Ex0tiC_Azn wrote:

Well, we've always been on and off but this year he decided to really "break" us off. We'd usually get back together, but he just isn't Tryna be in a relationship anymore.. To make this long story short, I'm still so deeply in love with him and I can't seem to let go! I talk to other dudes but they don't compare to my original boo! I usually let my pride get in the way and I'd always wait for him to hit me up since our "seperation" cuz I don't wanna make it seem like I'm desperate, or still wants to talk to him. But anyway, recently I finally decided to put my pride down cuz I was really missing him BADLY. I really wanted to try and revive our relationship. Sidenote* throughout our whole relationship I was madly in love and faithful to him. I was his down chick and his ride or die & he was my other half regardless how many times he hurt me and did me wrong.* anyway, he was really a big part of me and I just can't move on y'all.. Do y'all think I'm crazy for still being in love? Or should I still have hope and keep trying? Another thing, he calls me here and there telling me he misses me and our convos stay small. I told him to stop calling me a week ago and he really hasn't called me since. He usually calls by now & now I can't stand not hearing from him..


You weren't in a serious or real relationship if it has always been on and off. He tasted the other side (the SINGLE side) and decided that having an on-and-off girlfriend who was always available, who was his down chick, who was his ride or die chick wasn't worth it, when he could experiment with all the other single women out there.

He does not value you and the fact that "he did you wrong" shows that he did not value you even when he was with you.

He calls you to get laid. That's it. He doesn't miss you. Men know how to manipulate an ex who is still in love with them.


Eventually you'll hate him for "doing you wrong" but now you are still stuck in this silly belief that he is your other half. He is not, because you were loyal and in love, and he wasn't. You need to focus on yourself: improve your resume, go look for a better job, or focus on school, get better grades so you can have a better future. Go spend time with your family, go out with friends to place you have not been, etc.
 
 
Correct.
 
But .. the OP is probably back with that loser .. convincing herself that one day he will marry her and make it all up to her. Confused
 
You can't tell some people the truth about how men think though ... they just have to learn the hard way.Dead
 
 


Posted By: Ex0tiC_Azn
Date Posted: Sep 18 2013 at 12:30pm
Originally posted by Printer_Ink Printer_Ink wrote:

Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

Originally posted by Ex0tiC_Azn Ex0tiC_Azn wrote:

Well, we've always been on and off but this year he decided to really "break" us off. We'd usually get back together, but he just isn't Tryna be in a relationship anymore.. To make this long story short, I'm still so deeply in love with him and I can't seem to let go! I talk to other dudes but they don't compare to my original boo! I usually let my pride get in the way and I'd always wait for him to hit me up since our "seperation" cuz I don't wanna make it seem like I'm desperate, or still wants to talk to him. But anyway, recently I finally decided to put my pride down cuz I was really missing him BADLY. I really wanted to try and revive our relationship. Sidenote* throughout our whole relationship I was madly in love and faithful to him. I was his down chick and his ride or die & he was my other half regardless how many times he hurt me and did me wrong.* anyway, he was really a big part of me and I just can't move on y'all.. Do y'all think I'm crazy for still being in love? Or should I still have hope and keep trying? Another thing, he calls me here and there telling me he misses me and our convos stay small. I told him to stop calling me a week ago and he really hasn't called me since. He usually calls by now & now I can't stand not hearing from him..


You weren't in a serious or real relationship if it has always been on and off. He tasted the other side (the SINGLE side) and decided that having an on-and-off girlfriend who was always available, who was his down chick, who was his ride or die chick wasn't worth it, when he could experiment with all the other single women out there.

He does not value you and the fact that "he did you wrong" shows that he did not value you even when he was with you.

He calls you to get laid. That's it. He doesn't miss you. Men know how to manipulate an ex who is still in love with them.


Eventually you'll hate him for "doing you wrong" but now you are still stuck in this silly belief that he is your other half. He is not, because you were loyal and in love, and he wasn't. You need to focus on yourself: improve your resume, go look for a better job, or focus on school, get better grades so you can have a better future. Go spend time with your family, go out with friends to place you have not been, etc.


 
 
Correct.
 
But .. the OP is probably back with that loser .. convincing herself that one day he will marry her and make it all up to her. Confused
 
You can't tell some people the truth about how men think though ... they just have to learn the hard way.Dead
 
 


Can you clarify OP? "Original post"? The whole point of this post was for advice/ opinions on this situation. Everyone has their own different interpretations of the post and yours seems to be the complete opposite from others.


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Sep 18 2013 at 5:57pm
Originally posted by Ex0tiC_Azn Ex0tiC_Azn wrote:

Lol stalking his FB is all I did ! So I'm not the only one huh?


I did that when I still wanted a guy. Let me tell you, stalking an ex on any social media can hurt, because you don't know what's going on in his life now, and if you see a post of a girl saying "it was fun!" your heart will break in pieces. You will be obsessing over it, wondering if he is hooking up with her or if she is just a friend (some girls exaggerate things, and others pretend they had fun when they didn't lol), so it is best to stay away from the computer.

I don't think this guy who "came to the rescue" was enough for you, or else you wouldn't be stalking your ex. Remind yourself that your ex is not everything you want or need. You need yourself, your BEST self, and to achieve that you need to work on yourself. Focus on you, not on dating or checking what your ex is up to.




Posted By: Ex0tiC_Azn
Date Posted: Sep 18 2013 at 10:54pm
Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

Originally posted by Ex0tiC_Azn Ex0tiC_Azn wrote:

Lol stalking his FB is all I did ! So I'm not the only one huh?


I did that when I still wanted a guy. Let me tell you, stalking an ex on any social media can hurt, because you don't know what's going on in his life now, and if you see a post of a girl saying "it was fun!" your heart will break in pieces. You will be obsessing over it, wondering if he is hooking up with her or if she is just a friend (some girls exaggerate things, and others pretend they had fun when they didn't lol), so it is best to stay away from the computer.

I don't think this guy who "came to the rescue" was enough for you, or else you wouldn't be stalking your ex. Remind yourself that your ex is not everything you want or need. You need yourself, your BEST self, and to achieve that you need to work on yourself. Focus on you, not on dating or checking what your ex is up to.




So true, I've done all the above. I usually keep him blocked but it gets tempting to see if theres new chicks on his page. & You're completely right. Thanks


Posted By: Missvw
Date Posted: Sep 19 2013 at 1:30pm
Stay away from his facebook you'll become obsessed. Speaking from experience


Posted By: blkdymondzt
Date Posted: Sep 19 2013 at 2:10pm
I have this same problem except there's a baby involved . It's SUPER hard to get over someone you see regularly .


Posted By: Ex0tiC_Azn
Date Posted: Sep 21 2013 at 11:43pm
I like going on his page to see what new females he tries to add! He's immature as for all that, cuz he be adding those fake pages with the pretty girls as their defaults from out of the state or country and sh*t. I just find it so immature of him, but it also boosts my confidence I know, don't know other female that he *&%^$#@Es with aint got nothing on me. Lol & @Blk Aw, how old is the baby? Why didn't the relationship work out if you don't mind me asking?


Posted By: Senior Detective
Date Posted: Sep 23 2013 at 10:18am
Exotic, go fucc someone else.  Best way to get over someone old is to get under someone newEvil Smile


Posted By: Missvw
Date Posted: Sep 23 2013 at 10:47am
Originally posted by Ex0tiC_Azn Ex0tiC_Azn wrote:

I like going on his page to see what new females he tries to add! He's immature as for all that, cuz he be adding those fake pages with the pretty girls as their defaults from out of the state or country and sh*t. I just find it so immature of him, but it also boosts my confidence I know, don't know other female that he *&%^$#@Es with aint got nothing on me. Lol & @Blk Aw, how old is the baby? Why didn't the relationship work out if you don't mind me asking?
If you know his playing games just stay away from his page.


Posted By: Printer_Ink
Date Posted: Sep 23 2013 at 12:02pm
Hold it ' .. I like going on his page to see what new females he tries to add! He's immature ..'
and ...you think HE'S immature?  Shocked
 
Pot .. kettle.
 
 


Posted By: Missvw
Date Posted: Sep 23 2013 at 12:59pm
Originally posted by Printer_Ink Printer_Ink wrote:

Hold it ' .. I like going on his page to see what new females he tries to add! He's immature ..'
and ...you think HE'S immature?  Shocked
 
Pot .. kettle.
 
 
Right!


Posted By: Ex0tiC_Azn
Date Posted: Sep 23 2013 at 10:48pm
Originally posted by Printer_Ink Printer_Ink wrote:


Hold it ' .. I like going on his page to see what new females he tries to add! He's immature ..'
and ...you think HE'S immature?  Shocked
 
Pot .. kettle.
 
 

Practice what you preach. It's harder for some of y'all to understand cuz our situation is different. I just feel the need to stay on top of females he tries adding cuz where we live, it's a small world. Errbody know everybody and I can't have these females looking at me funny in public and me not knowing why.


Posted By: Ex0tiC_Azn
Date Posted: Sep 23 2013 at 10:58pm
Originally posted by Senior Detective Senior Detective wrote:


Exotic, go fucc someone else.  Best way to get over someone old is to get under someone newEvil Smile

Lol been there done that.


Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: Sep 28 2013 at 11:39pm
Originally posted by Ex0tiC_Azn Ex0tiC_Azn wrote:

Originally posted by Printer_Ink Printer_Ink wrote:


Hold it ' .. I like going on his page to see what new females he tries to add! He's immature ..'
and ...you think HE'S immature?  Shocked
 
Pot .. kettle.
 
 

Practice what you preach. It's harder for some of y'all to understand cuz our situation is different. I just feel the need to stay on top of females he tries adding cuz where we live, it's a small world. Errbody know everybody and I can't have these females looking at me funny in public and me not knowing why.


Hun, everyone likes to think their situation is different, but at the end of the day, you're voluntarily driving yourself crazy over a guy who does not want you. To you, he is your other half. Yet he has repeatedly shown you he does not feel the same.

This isn't some starcrossed lovers crap, you two simply do not work. Do not romanticize pain, deception, and objectification. You being on and off isn't a sign that "you're meant to be." It's a sign that you two have an extremely flimsy bond. Now it's finally fully deteriorated which is great because now you can move on.

But you are not letting yourself move on. We can give you all the advice you want, but so long as you keep doing things to hold onto the memory of him, you're not going to get over him.

When you're ready to move on and have shed enough tears, you cease contact with him and get comfy with yourself and love yourself because your world ends with you, not him.


Posted By: foxyroy19
Date Posted: Sep 29 2013 at 4:42am
you were sixteen and he was 21?


Posted By: Beauty620
Date Posted: Oct 04 2013 at 8:38am
You did the right thing by cutting all contact with you ex. Trust me....a EX is an EX for a reason....and its usually bcuz it didn't work out...or never will. So do yourself the favor &  move on..NEEEXT!!!! Plenty guys in this world and one day you may run across one who is even better than ur EX....Wink


Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: Oct 13 2013 at 5:49am
^Idiot. Preying on the heartbroken with scams? Reported.



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