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Ugh Im Feeling Some Kind Of Way (Its Long FYI).

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Topic: Ugh Im Feeling Some Kind Of Way (Its Long FYI).
Posted By: Iowabred&fed
Subject: Ugh Im Feeling Some Kind Of Way (Its Long FYI).
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 5:33pm
...about the Teacher guy I told ya'll about a while ago. I can't remember if I mentioned it, but at some point in our "relationship" I had asked him about his previous relationships with other women -- I think it was on our 2nd date. He revealed to me then, that he basically hadn't had a long term relationship in approximately 9/10 years. He's 29 now, so that means his last girlfriend was when he was 19/20 -- somewhere in there.

Obviously, I should have seen the red flag.Confused (That's a red flag right?)

FF to the cabin situation. I finally decide this isn't going to work. Our values are not in aligment. I was down to compromise (a little; you're never going to get 100% of what you want in a relationship) but I realized, I can't take the back seat to "his kids" (his students). They make me very uncomfortable (not personally, I'm speak in generalities) I can't help it -- it is what it is.

It was super hard, because both he and I really wanted it to work. I'm ready for a relationship -- It's been about a year and some change since my ex and I split, in that time, I took ill and did alot of thinking.

I let him know all this up front about 3/4 weeks into dating (too soon?).

He was the first guy I've "talked to" in months since I've been sick, so yeah, I got a little caught up. It upsets me because revealed this to him and he seemed to be supportive all the way. I would not have told him about my medical situation if he wasn't going to be around for awhile and at the time, I thought he was someone I would date long term (you know, like 6 months or more) Cry because everything was going so smoothly. I don't just tell people about it willy nilly -- it's serious and it's a big deal to me.

I was basically like, "Look, you haven't had a g/f in 10 years, you don't what you want, I can't be around/hear about kids all the time. As much as this sucks, we need to stop talking, this isn't going to work..."

I think he has a lot of soul searching to do -- it's not a legitimate excuse to me that in 10 years, as an adult, you haven't had a g/f. This isn't some raggedy dude either -- he's educated, very attractive, has a great job and comes from a well to do family. I guess he just has some serious commitment issues. Confused


So anyway, we quit talking. It haven't talked to him in few weeks and I miss him. Ugh. I think I'm just bored, honestly. I liked having someone there -- It was a good feeling. I sent him an inappropriate sexual text last night (Oops!Confused ), he didn't respond. LOLLOLLOL. That was probably a bad idea, ha.

I've been trying to meet new people, keep myself busy -- how do you get over it?

Oh -- one last thing: After my last boyfriend, I swore I would not date dudes who came from divorced families. Why? They don't have a positive perspective on loving relationships AND more often then not, they have a "bad" relationship with their dad or their mother's raised them, spinning them into Mama's boys.  Yes, I'm making a blanket judgement, but this was the case with my ex and this guy. 

They were unusually feminine and disturbingly close to their moms...I didn't like that. I'm not saying it's bad per se, but it's not for ME. 

I love my parents, they're wonderful and I value their opinion, but I'm 25.  I make all of my decisions on my own...I can't get with the notion of consulting your mother for every--thing....



Replies:
Posted By: femmefatale85
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 5:37pm
when did dating become so hard? do you even enjoy it? lawd


Posted By: tatee
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 5:39pm
http://s1177.photobucket.com/user/Saphia_Mayo/media/gifs/tumblr_mqybct7ZXw1qgutkqo8_250_zpscfd150a2.gif.html" rel="nofollow">


Posted By: Iowabred&fed
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 5:40pm
Originally posted by femmefatale85 femmefatale85 wrote:

when did dating become so hard? do you even enjoy it? lawd


Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees. What kind of question is this??


Posted By: zolloh
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 5:41pm
lemme go refresh my memory with your first thread about this guy, i seem to recall it became a hotmess...brb Embarrassed


Posted By: Iowabred&fed
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 5:41pm
Originally posted by tatee tatee wrote:

http://s1177.photobucket.com/user/Saphia_Mayo/media/gifs/tumblr_mqybct7ZXw1qgutkqo8_250_zpscfd150a2.gif.html" rel="nofollow">


Um, I stated it was long in the title though...?Confused Specifically for this reason LOLLOL


Posted By: femmefatale85
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 5:42pm
Originally posted by Iowabred&fed Iowabred&fed wrote:

Originally posted by femmefatale85 femmefatale85 wrote:

when did dating become so hard? do you even enjoy it? lawd


Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees. What kind of question is this??


what kind of op was that?

just seems like you're making things complicated...


Posted By: Iowabred&fed
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 5:45pm
Originally posted by femmefatale85 femmefatale85 wrote:

Originally posted by Iowabred&fed Iowabred&fed wrote:

Originally posted by femmefatale85 femmefatale85 wrote:

when did dating become so hard? do you even enjoy it? lawd


Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees. What kind of question is this??


what kind of op was that?

just seems like you're making things complicated...


Not everybody is like you. If you don't have anything constructive to add, then fine. Peace out. 


Posted By: femmefatale85
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 5:49pm
that was constructive lol, it seems like you're making it too complicated

you like him, date him
you don't, don't date him
it ain't hard
you spend more time contemplating it, than actually doing it

but you right, everybody can't be me
Cool peace out


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 5:50pm
Originally posted by Iowabred&fed Iowabred&fed wrote:

...about the Teacher guy I told ya'll about a while ago. I can't remember if I mentioned it, but at some point in our "relationship" I had asked him about his previous relationships with other women -- I think it was on our 2nd date. He revealed to me then, that he basically hadn't had a long term relationship in approximately 9/10 years. He's 29 now, so that means his last girlfriend was when he was 19/20 -- somewhere in there.

Obviously, I should have seen the red flag.Confused (That's a red flag right?)

FF to the cabin situation. I finally decide this isn't going to work. Our values are not in aligment. I was down to compromise (a little; you're never going to get 100% of what you want in a relationship) but I realized, I can't take the back seat to "his kids" (his students). They make me very uncomfortable (not personally, I'm speak in generalities) I can't help it -- it is what it is.

It was super hard, because both he and I really wanted it to work. I'm ready for a relationship -- It's been about a year and some change since my ex and I split, in that time, I took ill and did alot of thinking.

I let him know all this up front about 3/4 weeks into dating (too soon?).

He was the first guy I've "talked to" in months since I've been sick, so yeah, I got a little caught up. It upsets me because revealed this to him and he seemed to be supportive all the way. I would not have told him about my medical situation if he wasn't going to be around for awhile and at the time, I thought he was someone I would date long term (you know, like 6 months or more) Cry because everything was going so smoothly. I don't just tell people about it willy nilly -- it's serious and it's a big deal to me.

I was basically like, "Look, you haven't had a g/f in 10 years, you don't what you want, I can't be around/hear about kids all the time. As much as this sucks, we need to stop talking, this isn't going to work..."

I think he has a lot of soul searching to do -- it's not a legitimate excuse to me that in 10 years, as an adult, you haven't had a g/f. This isn't some raggedy dude either -- he's educated, very attractive, has a great job and comes from a well to do family. I guess he just has some serious commitment issuesConfused


So anyway, we quit talking. It haven't talked to him in few weeks and I miss him. Ugh. I think I'm just bored, honestly. I liked having someone there -- It was a good feeling. I sent him an inappropriate sexual text last night (Oops!Confused ), he didn't respondLOLLOLLOL. That was probably a bad idea, ha.

I've been trying to meet new people, keep myself busy -- how do you get over it?

Oh -- one last thing: After my last boyfriend, I swore I would not date dudes who came from divorced families. Why? They don't have a positive perspective on loving relationships AND more often then not, they have a "bad" relationship with their dad or their mother's raised them, spinning them into Mama's boys.  Yes, I'm making a blanket judgement, but this was the case with my ex and this guy. 

They were unusually feminine and disturbingly close to their moms...I didn't like that. I'm not saying it's bad per se, but it's not for ME. 

I love my parents, they're wonderful and I value their opinion, but I'm 25.  I make all of my decisions on my own...I can't get with the notion of consulting your mother for every--thing....


You did him a favor,he'll be fine


Posted By: Iowabred&fed
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 5:50pm
Originally posted by Fraiche2Death Fraiche2Death wrote:

I'm sorry this is hilarious and you sound messy. It's just not that deep. LOL



And you sound rude. Lord, BHM. Smh.  If you're not a brazen, blunt, black woman, something MUST be wrong with you. I'm glad you think it's hilarious.


Posted By: eanaj5
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 5:51pm
I dont understand why him not having a relationship in 9+ years bothers you. I'd be thrilled tbh. It shws me he really took the time to improve himself as an individual, meet personal goals he had, become more financially stable (hopefully) and deal with ba ge he had from his last relationship. Less chance of an ex flame popping up trying to ruin things etc. Sounds like a win to me Confused


Posted By: Iowabred&fed
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 5:52pm
Ok, good. I mean, people have asked far stupider sh*t than I do. Sooo...


Posted By: texasmami0117
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 5:52pm
I understand why you would think that someone who hasn't had a long term relationship in 10 years is afraid to commit but that is not always true especially when the person in question is 29. I hope you had other reasons to dismiss him.
 
Either way, you're 25. Occupy your time and work on being happy with yourself and your accomplishments. It sounds like thats what your ex was/is doing.


Posted By: eanaj5
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 5:53pm
shiiieeeeet what homeboy lookin like, im only 20 but i can dal with listening about his "kids" Stern Smile


Posted By: Iowabred&fed
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 5:55pm
Originally posted by eanaj5 eanaj5 wrote:

I dont understand why him not having a relationship in 9+ years bothers you. I'd be thrilled tbh. It shws me he really took the time to improve himself as an individual, meet personal goals he had, become more financially stable (hopefully) and deal with ba ge he had from his last relationship. Less chance of an ex flame popping up trying to ruin things etc. Sounds like a win to me Confused


No LOL.  He hasn't. That's the problem. I don't care, 9 years?  No. 

Yes, a win for me, I agree.


Posted By: zolloh
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 5:56pm
that previous thread was funny as hell....

so you hoped you would date him "long term, you know like 6 months or more" but yet you are side-eyeing him for not having had a long term relationship?...you consider 6 months long term? Geek

seems to me you were looking for a reason to break up with him (he's white, cabin situation, he's passionate about his kids, his parents are divorced, he's feminine and close to his mom, last gf was 10yrs ago ) and you did it, so what the prollem is?....you let BHM talk you into being manless? Cry


Posted By: eanaj5
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 5:56pm
Originally posted by Iowabred&fed Iowabred&fed wrote:

Ok, good. I mean, people have asked far stupider sh*t than I do. Sooo...

No shade, but i feel like there is more to the story OP, it sounds like you are trying to find reasons to not date him, because he sounds decent to me. Is there more you would like to share with us so we can better understand your point of view?


Posted By: eanaj5
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 5:58pm


Posted By: tatee
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 6:00pm
Originally posted by zolloh zolloh wrote:

that previous thread was funny as hell....

so you hoped you would date him "long term, you know like 6 months or more" but yet you are side-eyeing him for not having had a long term relationship?...you consider 6 months long term? Geek

seems to me you were looking for a reason to break up with him (he's white, cabin situation, he's passionate about his kids, his parents are divorced, he's feminine and close to his mom, last gf was 10yrs ago ) and you did it, so what the prollem is?....you let BHM talk you into being manless? Cry


http://s1177.photobucket.com/user/Saphia_Mayo/media/gifs/tumblr_inline_ml40cmLYsK1ra4j42_zps4461bc32.gif.html" rel="nofollow">


Posted By: Ladybird0724
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 6:01pm
Originally posted by eanaj5 eanaj5 wrote:

I dont understand why him not having a relationship in 9+ years bothers you. I'd be thrilled tbh. It shws me he really took the time to improve himself as an individual, meet personal goals he had, become more financially stable (hopefully) and deal with ba ge he had from his last relationship. Less chance of an ex flame popping up trying to ruin things etc. Sounds like a win to me Confused


this.

if he was in his mid-thirties, yeah, that would be a red flag.

but your 20s are your "selfish" years, and by selfish, i mean that it's about you. he was young, so maybe he wanted to focus on his career and put his love life on the shelf, or maybe he just wanted a string of short-term flings. nothing necessarily wrong with that.

OP, just move on. don't try to force a relationship.

you are young. go out, have some fun.


Posted By: Iowabred&fed
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 6:01pm
Originally posted by zolloh zolloh wrote:

that previous thread was funny as hell....

so you hoped you would date him "long term, you know like 6 months or more" but yet you are side-eyeing him for not having had a long term relationship?...you consider 6 months long term? Geek

seems to me you were looking for a reason to break up with him (he's white, cabin situation, he's passionate about his kids, his parents are divorced, he's feminine and close to his mom, last gf was 10yrs ago ) and you did it, so what the prollem is?....you let BHM talk you into being manless? Cry



LOLLOLLOL Maybe, but nah. I don't think I am the type of women he needs though... when I said 6 months I meant 1 year +...not sure why I wrote 6 months.  I think I just meant someone I would be dating for while..you know?


Posted By: Iowabred&fed
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 6:02pm
Originally posted by Ladybird0724 Ladybird0724 wrote:

Originally posted by eanaj5 eanaj5 wrote:

I dont understand why him not having a relationship in 9+ years bothers you. I'd be thrilled tbh. It shws me he really took the time to improve himself as an individual, meet personal goals he had, become more financially stable (hopefully) and deal with ba ge he had from his last relationship. Less chance of an ex flame popping up trying to ruin things etc. Sounds like a win to me Confused


this.

if he was in his mid-thirties, yeah, that would be a red flag.

but your 20s are your "selfish" years, and by selfish, i mean that it's about you. he was young, so maybe he wanted to focus on his career and put his love life on the shelf, or maybe he just wanted a string of short-term flings. nothing necessarily wrong with that.

OP, just move on. don't try to force a relationship.

you are young. go out, have some fun.


Ok. I'll take that. Thanks Thumbs Up


Posted By: Iowabred&fed
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 6:04pm
Originally posted by texasmami0117 texasmami0117 wrote:

I understand why you would think that someone who hasn't had a long term relationship in 10 years is afraid to commit but that is not always true especially when the person in question is 29. I hope you had other reasons to dismiss him.
 
Either way, you're 25. Occupy your time and work on being happy with yourself and your accomplishments. It sounds like thats what your ex was/is doing.


Yeeeah...there were other things, but eh. I don't wanna explain all of it.


Posted By: Iowabred&fed
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 6:05pm
Originally posted by eanaj5 eanaj5 wrote:

shiiieeeeet what homeboy lookin like, im only 20 but i can dal with listening about his "kids" Stern Smile


You can have him. Go right on ahead.LOL He's got dimples and piercings...


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 6:07pm
OP is playing too many games. From the going back and forth feelings caught with the cabin situation to dogging the guy for being emotionally invested in his work. It was already stated he  travels a lot for work which would also explain him not having a long term relationship in 9 years(which is defined by OP as 6mons or more) yet he has established his career.This is to much damn stress for a "new" relationship that has barely gained its footing. OP just got out a relationship and is already looking for another LTR so I can see how dude not being in a LTR seems weird to her...Then u break it off and send a lonely sexting message... OP take some time and get yourself together..You seem to get invested to fast...


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 6:07pm
you seem like the one that doesn't know what you want


Posted By: Harmonii
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 6:09pm
Originally posted by eanaj5 eanaj5 wrote:





Posted By: Harmonii
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 6:10pm
Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

you seem like the one that doesn't know what you want




Posted By: Iowabred&fed
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 6:10pm
Originally posted by eanaj5 eanaj5 wrote:

Originally posted by Iowabred&fed Iowabred&fed wrote:

Ok, good. I mean, people have asked far stupider sh*t than I do. Sooo...

No shade, but i feel like there is more to the story OP, it sounds like you are trying to find reasons to not date him, because he sounds decent to me. Is there more you would like to share with us so we can better understand your point of view?


There is..and to me "decent" means "settling". I'm not saying he's a bad guy, he's cool. But there were too many things, that in hindesight, I can't look past.

Actually, scratch all that. I just want some consistant "D". That's all. LOLLOL  I don't think he's down for that though.


Posted By: femmefatale85
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 6:14pm
Originally posted by Iowabred&fed Iowabred&fed wrote:

Originally posted by eanaj5 eanaj5 wrote:

Originally posted by Iowabred&fed Iowabred&fed wrote:

Ok, good. I mean, people have asked far stupider sh*t than I do. Sooo...

No shade, but i feel like there is more to the story OP, it sounds like you are trying to find reasons to not date him, because he sounds decent to me. Is there more you would like to share with us so we can better understand your point of view?


There is..and to me "decent" means "settling". I'm not saying he's a bad guy, he's cool. But there were too many things, that in hindesight, I can't look past.

Actually, scratch all that. I just want some consistant "D". That's all. LOLLOL  I don't think he's down for that though.


you confuse me


Posted By: Iowabred&fed
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 6:14pm
Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:

OP is playing too many games. From the going back and forth feelings caught with the cabin situation to dogging the guy for being emotionally invested in his work. It was already stated he  travels a lot for work which would also explain him not having a long term relationship in 9 years(which is defined by OP as 6mons or more) yet he has established his career.This is to much damn stress for a "new" relationship that has barely gained its footing. OP just got out a relationship and is already looking for another LTR so I can see how dude not being in a LTR seems weird to her...Then u break it off and send a lonely sexting message... OP take some time and get yourself together..You seem to get invested to fast...


Woah. LOL.

-He travels for work -- 5 weeks in the summer. That's it.
-I broke up w/ my last boyfriend, last April -- it's been over a year.
-I Agree: I do get caught up too quickly. Eh. It happens I guess.


Posted By: yurika975
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 6:15pm
Oh Op....hun the purpose of dating is to try to see who you connect with. Like shopping...you try things on and if you don't like it, color, fit etc, you leave it and pick somethings else. That does not mean you have to spread yourself around with anything that breathes. Why are you stressing if you were not into him being a teacher and committed to his "kids". Take it as a lesson, you and teachers are a no go. Keep it moving...You'll give yourself a heart attack...and an ulcer


Posted By: CamiK
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 6:16pm
I didn't read sh*t...is this the girl that was dating the teacher...they were ina long distance relationship for 6 weeks...he invited her to the cabin...but then uninvited her?  He always talk about his students...


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 6:18pm
Originally posted by femmefatale85 femmefatale85 wrote:

Originally posted by Iowabred&fed Iowabred&fed wrote:

Originally posted by eanaj5 eanaj5 wrote:

Originally posted by Iowabred&fed Iowabred&fed wrote:

Ok, good. I mean, people have asked far stupider sh*t than I do. Sooo...

No shade, but i feel like there is more to the story OP, it sounds like you are trying to find reasons to not date him, because he sounds decent to me. Is there more you would like to share with us so we can better understand your point of view?


There is..and to me "decent" means "settling". I'm not saying he's a bad guy, he's cool. But there were too many things, that in hindesight, I can't look past.

Actually, scratch all that. I just want some consistant "D". That's all. LOLLOL  I don't think he's down for that though.


you confuse me


Like I said she playing too many games...........


Posted By: Iowabred&fed
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 6:21pm
Originally posted by yurika975 yurika975 wrote:

Oh Op....hun the purpose of dating is to try to see who you connect with. Like shopping...you try things on and if you don't like it, color, fit etc, you leave it and pick somethings else. That does not mean you have to spread yourself around with anything that breathes. Why are you stressing if you were not into him being a teacher and committed to his "kids". Take it as a lesson, you and teachers are a no go. Keep it moving...You'll give yourself a heart attack...and an ulcer



Idk actually. Hmm. Ok. 

I don't really feel like i'm spreading myself around though.

Maybe i'm not telling you things in chronological order:

-Broke up with last boyfriend April 2012
-Dated around, nothing came out it, Summer 2012 - into Fall 2012
-Got ill December 2012
-Because of my illness and other things, took a break from dating from December 2012-April 2013
-Started dating again late April 2013. 
-Met teacher May 2013

Does that make sense? So I just started dating again...


Posted By: Ladybird0724
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 6:33pm
if u just want consistent D, get a FWB.

those arent hardto find.

u keep changing your story and it's confusing af


Posted By: joileprincess
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 6:36pm
If all you want is consistent D then that is easy. Leave this guy alone though, start from scratch. With him you run the risk of looking crazy.

Can you handle that though?


Posted By: Iowabred&fed
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 6:39pm
Originally posted by joileprincess joileprincess wrote:

If all you want is consistent D then that is easy. Leave this guy alone though, start from scratch. With him you run the risk of looking crazy.

Can you handle that though?



Yeah. 


Posted By: Iowabred&fed
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 6:42pm
Originally posted by Ladybird0724 Ladybird0724 wrote:

if u just want consistent D, get a FWB.

those arent hardto find.

u keep changing your story and it's confusing af


I confuse myself. Here's why: I ask too many people in real life and I'll get too many conflicting opinions. I'll post on here and get too many opinions. Idk. I think i'm just going to charge it to the game and start ovr with someone else.


Posted By: Harmonii
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 6:43pm
Originally posted by joileprincess joileprincess wrote:

If all you want is consistent D then that is easy. Leave this guy alone though, start from scratch. With him you run the risk of looking crazy.

Can you handle that though?



I agree


Posted By: joileprincess
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 6:49pm
Originally posted by Iowabred&fed Iowabred&fed wrote:

Originally posted by joileprincess joileprincess wrote:

If all you want is consistent D then that is easy. Leave this guy alone though, start from scratch. With him you run the risk of looking crazy.

Can you handle that though?



Yeah. 

Well, go for what you know.

Just realize that you will have to be able to separate any heavy emotions out of it and be able to recognize when to pull out if you find yourself getting too involved.


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 7:22pm
I think he knew what he wanted. You just couldn't handle what he wanted. And that's okay. Move on to the next and repeat until you find the right person for you.


Posted By: Tbaby
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 7:28pm
He was the first guy I've "talked to" in months since I've been sick, so yeah, I got a little caught up. It upsets me because revealed this to him and he seemed to be supportive all the way. I would not have told him about my medical situation if he wasn't going to be around for awhile and at the time, I thought he was someone I would date long term (you know, like 6 months or more) Cry because everything was going so smoothly. I don't just tell people about it willy nilly -- it's serious and it's a big deal to me.

I was basically like, "Look, you haven't had a g/f in 10 years, you don't what you want, I can't be around/hear about kids all the time. As much as this sucks, we need to stop talking, this isn't going to work..."

So the guy supported you and your illness and yet you can't support his career talk?  And thats why you broke up?  Sorry but thats a pathetic reason if he's basically a good guy in other ways.  You don't know what you want IMO. 




Posted By: oh_so_moody
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 7:32pm
Hey Iowa.

I would just start piggybacking off your other thread about this guy instead of making new threads everytime he pisses you off cause seems like it is pretty often.

HTH!

Moody


Posted By: Iowabred&fed
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 7:43pm
Originally posted by Tbaby Tbaby wrote:

He was the first guy I've "talked to" in months since I've been sick, so yeah, I got a little caught up. It upsets me because revealed this to him and he seemed to be supportive all the way. I would not have told him about my medical situation if he wasn't going to be around for awhile and at the time, I thought he was someone I would date long term (you know, like 6 months or more) Cry because everything was going so smoothly. I don't just tell people about it willy nilly -- it's serious and it's a big deal to me.

I was basically like, "Look, you haven't had a g/f in 10 years, you don't what you want, I can't be around/hear about kids all the time. As much as this sucks, we need to stop talking, this isn't going to work..."

So the guy supported you and your illness and yet you can't support his career talk?  And thats why you broke up?  Sorry but thats a pathetic reason if he's basically a good guy in other ways.  You don't know what you want IMO. 




Duuuuuuude. It's so much more complicated than that. C'mon now. Jesus. It's not pathetic.

Not like "supported" like, took me to my appointments etc. more like he was ok with the situation -- he wasn't going to run from me because I have it. He HAS ISSUES, yes, there's bits that I'm leaving out --it's too much to get into BHM: I know how ya'll like to make snap judgements. 

I've been trying to say this, but ya'll aren't listening (or reading) ha. My bad for not relaying the story in the order that it happened, yes, it's confusing.  It's confusing to me. 
I know. I'm sorry, Jesus Christ. AHHHHHHHH. Haha. 

The only reason I've been caught up is because after being ill for soooo long, it was nice having someone outside of my family around....do you get it?  




Posted By: Iowabred&fed
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 7:45pm
Originally posted by oh_so_moody oh_so_moody wrote:

Hey Iowa.

I would just start piggybacking off your other thread about this guy instead of making new threads everytime he pisses you off cause seems like it is pretty often.

HTH!

Moody


True that. I've only made a seperate thread this once thoughLOL 

This will be the last time, trust me.Embarrassed


Posted By: Tbaby
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 8:06pm


So the guy supported you and your illness and yet you can't support his career talk?  And thats why you broke up?  Sorry but thats a pathetic reason if he's basically a good guy in other ways.  You don't know what you want IMO. 

Duuuuuuude. It's so much more complicated than that. C'mon now. Jesus. It's not pathetic.

Not like "supported" like, took me to my appointments etc. more like he was ok with the situation -- he wasn't going to run from me because I have it. He HAS ISSUES, yes, there's bits that I'm leaving out --it's too much to get into BHM: I know how ya'll like to make snap judgements. Ermm

I've been trying to say this, but ya'll aren't listening (or reading) ha. My bad for not relaying the story in the order that it happened, yes, it's confusing.  It's confusing to me. 
I know. I'm sorry, Jesus Christ. AHHHHHHHH. Haha. 

The only reason I've been caught up is because after being ill for soooo long, it was nice having someone outside of my family around....do you get it?  


Hey I haven't read your past threads or if I did I don't remember so I don't know your illness or your past experiences with this guy.   We can only give "judgements" off of the info you give so if your info is distorted and/or confusing then don't be surprised if you get posts you feel don't answer your situation.

Stop dating him then.  Sheesh.  You make it complicated.



Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 8:28pm
he talks about the kids he spends 8 hours with!  what a monster?

Seriously if you don't like him for whatever reason that's ok

But no need to tear him down from his parents, to his job, to his lack of experience 




Posted By: AwesomeAries
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 8:42pm
Gkisses I hate you
For putting what I felt into gifs
I feel like I'm iyanla
I can't fix nobody life


Posted By: Lonisha87
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 8:48pm
You sabotaged that relationship. You were looking for reasons it wouldn't work out and just ended up. From your OP, you had no valid reason for ending it or web being uncomfortable. How long we're you actually together(exclusive) before you started feeling like this? It seems like it wasn't long at all. And you wanted a serious commitment from day one too. Ioeno


Posted By: JamCaygirl
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 9:16pm
guuuuuuuuuuuurl....


Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 9:20pm
Originally posted by Iowabred&fed Iowabred&fed wrote:


Actually, scratch all that. I just want some consistant "D". That's all. LOLLOL  I don't think he's down for that though.
 
Confused  why are you concerned about all that other stuff then????


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 9:35pm
No the main thing is......she thinks she dumped him........bless yo heart....that man dumped you....when he didn't take you to the cabin it was over...


Posted By: creole booty
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 9:41pm
Well, I feel u op. I, too, over think. I think u already know how u feel. Stick to it. Listen to ur brain, and remain logical.


Posted By: zolloh
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 9:41pm
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

No the main thing is......she thinks she dumped him........bless yo heart....that man dumped you....when he didn't take you to the cabin it was over...
and then he didnt respond to last night's sext....mercy me Cry


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 9:45pm
Originally posted by zolloh zolloh wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

No the main thing is......she thinks she dumped him........bless yo heart....that man dumped you....when he didn't take you to the cabin it was over...
and then he didnt respond to last night's sext....mercy me Cry


Chiiiiilllllllllllllllle.......the fact that he doesn't even want that pucci.........that shyt gotta hurt.


Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 9:50pm
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Originally posted by zolloh zolloh wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

No the main thing is......she thinks she dumped him........bless yo heart....that man dumped you....when he didn't take you to the cabin it was over...
and then he didnt respond to last night's sext....mercy me Cry


Chiiiiilllllllllllllllle.......the fact that he doesn't even want that pucci.........that shyt gotta hurt.
 
lawd.  can't even give it away...her soul is burning slow...Cry


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 9:52pm
Originally posted by ThoughtCouture ThoughtCouture wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Originally posted by zolloh zolloh wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

No the main thing is......she thinks she dumped him........bless yo heart....that man dumped you....when he didn't take you to the cabin it was over...
and then he didnt respond to last night's sext....mercy me Cry


Chiiiiilllllllllllllllle.......the fact that he doesn't even want that pucci.........that shyt gotta hurt.



 

lawd.  can't even give it away...her soul is burning slow...Cry


Guuuurl.......


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 10:18pm
lmaoo


Posted By: Spokenword
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 10:40pm
you just met the guy in may. i think you went back into to the dating scene expecting too much too quick.  i think that his talking about "his" kids, wasn't comfortable to you because you wanted it to be about the two of you, forgetting that he was trying to be friends, get to know you, etc.  you wanted more.  he showed he wanted to pump the breaks by canceling that cabin trip.

just chalk it up as part of the game.  enter differently next time with the next guy. get to truly know him, learn him and determine if it is a guy you want to move forward with. 

don't enter the FWB with him. you will get caught up in your feelings and end up hurt.

just chill out,  date, and get to "know" people.  its all good. everyone goes through the dating ups and downs before finding the right guy.  just don't get desperate where it clouds your judgement. 


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 10:50pm
Spoken she can't be FWB.........he ain't checking for that pucci......


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 11:19pm
Zo, Sandra and TC

CrydamnCry



Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Aug 11 2013 at 11:21pm
OP gonna come back and tell yall how he was beggin for her illnana and/or had no issue with a fwb set up... he was just sleep when she texted him....but she said nnnnnno sir...watch


Posted By: Claudie
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 12:18am
Dating is not all that complicated, you made things harder for yourself.  I am going by YOUR statements, it appears to me that you need to build your self esteem.  You should not set out in any relationship, only desiring consistent "D".
You spoke about health issues, concentrate on addressing whatever the health problem is.  If you meet someone that you like, please do not rush into anything.  It is not all about getting whipped by the almighty "D".  start slow, if you and the man are compatible build on the relationship.  Do not make things complicated, it takes time, work and effort to make any relationship work.  Both parties must be committed to make any relationship work.
It is a no go for you and the Teacher guy.  You blew that one.  Claudie is old I need my sleep, I cannot go into specifics right now.  Take care, get well! 


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 12:20am
damn, i've never sent a sexual text and got no response.  ngas is too thirsty for that but hey.


Posted By: Samoneisthebest
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 12:30am
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Originally posted by ThoughtCouture ThoughtCouture wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Originally posted by zolloh zolloh wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

No the main thing is......she thinks she dumped him........bless yo heart....that man dumped you....when he didn't take you to the cabin it was over...
and then he didnt respond to last night's sext....mercy me Cry


Chiiiiilllllllllllllllle.......the fact that he doesn't even want that pucci.........that shyt gotta hurt.



 

lawd.  can't even give it away...her soul is burning slow...Cry


Guuuurl.......

LOL aint nan one of yall sh*t


Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 6:02am
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Originally posted by zolloh zolloh wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

No the main thing is......she thinks she dumped him........bless yo heart....that man dumped you....when he didn't take you to the cabin it was over...
and then he didnt respond to last night's sext....mercy me Cry


Chiiiiilllllllllllllllle.......the fact that he doesn't even want that pucci.........that shyt gotta hurt.


patzkrieg:      <img src=


Posted By: Omni Harmony
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 9:44am
Originally posted by Iowabred&fed Iowabred&fed wrote:

Originally posted by Ladybird0724 Ladybird0724 wrote:

if u just want consistent D, get a FWB.

those arent hardto find.

u keep changing your story and it's confusing af


I confuse myself. Here's why: I ask too many people in real life and I'll get too many conflicting opinions. I'll post on here and get too many opinions. Idk. I think i'm just going to charge it to the game and start ovr with someone else.
you are better off joining LSA, they have an anonymous button that you can ask any embarassing question or story without folks knowing your identityConfused


Posted By: sistagal
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 11:58am
Originally posted by femmefatale85 femmefatale85 wrote:

Originally posted by Iowabred&fed Iowabred&fed wrote:

Originally posted by femmefatale85 femmefatale85 wrote:

when did dating become so hard? do you even enjoy it? lawd



Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees. What kind of question is this??


what kind of op was that?

just seems like you're making things complicated...


I know. I kinda felt his pain at being with you just by reading it.

No offence OP but you sound like you wined to him the way you wined in your post.

If you're not feeling it let it go. All this talking makes you sound like you don't know what YOU want.


Posted By: Az~Maverick
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 12:08pm
You sound like you need to take a break. Be by yourself for awhile and get to know who YOU are. Just sayin.


Posted By: Addicted19034
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 12:12pm
Why do I miss all the good stuff


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 12:59pm
dating can be confusing and it can be confusing to know what you want and what you're looking for. and that's ok. don't feel ashamed or embarrassed by it. most have been there, done that, grown past it, and can now laugh about it.

i don't think you liked this guy as much as you wanted to like him or felt like you should have liked him. figure out what you're looking for and it should be much easier.


Posted By: Anah
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 2:09pm
Originally posted by ThoughtCouture ThoughtCouture wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Originally posted by zolloh zolloh wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

No the main thing is......she thinks she dumped him........bless yo heart....that man dumped you....when he didn't take you to the cabin it was over...
and then he didnt respond to last night's sext....mercy me Cry


Chiiiiilllllllllllllllle.......the fact that he doesn't even want that pucci.........that shyt gotta hurt.
 
lawd.  can't even give it away...her soul is burning slow...Cry

Ya'll messy for no reason Ermm I don't mind the dragging of bitchy OPs but this OP wasnt Disapprove


Posted By: zsazsa
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 2:13pm
Can't breathe. Epitome is back! yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Good to have you back! 




Posted By: zsazsa
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 2:15pm
OP I think you should take a step back and see what happens. Be spontaneous - it will work out much better that way than over planning where it goes. 


Posted By: keelolo1
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 2:24pm
him not having a relationship in 10 years is no big deal. I mean what dude in his 20s really wants to be settled down. Hell im 32 and havent been in a relationship in 6. 
 


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 2:29pm
Originally posted by Anah Anah wrote:

Originally posted by ThoughtCouture ThoughtCouture wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Originally posted by zolloh zolloh wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

No the main thing is......she thinks she dumped him........bless yo heart....that man dumped you....when he didn't take you to the cabin it was over...
and then he didnt respond to last night's sext....mercy me Cry


Chiiiiilllllllllllllllle.......the fact that he doesn't even want that pucci.........that shyt gotta hurt.



 

lawd.  can't even give it away...her soul is burning slow...Cry


Ya'll messy for no reason Ermm I don't mind the dragging of bitchy OPs but this OP wasnt Disapprove


Oh okay.


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 2:44pm

I agree . You are not sure of what you want op .Based on what you wrote , the man was willing to date you while you where ill with a STD right ?



Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 2:47pm
wow--India. you for real had to mention that? it was that pertinent to the thread? smdh. 


Posted By: .hott.pink.
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 2:47pm
Originally posted by india100 india100 wrote:

I agree . You are not sure of what you want op .Based on what you wrote , the man was willing to date you while you where ill -- right ?


Jesus! 

That was unnecessary, no? 


Posted By: Az~Maverick
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 2:48pm
Originally posted by india100 india100 wrote:

I agree . You are not sure of what you want op .Based on what you wrote , the man was willing to date you while you where ill @#&^%$& ?



Shocked


*fixed


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 2:48pm
LMAO


Posted By: Anah
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 2:50pm
Geek


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 2:50pm
yall messy for quoting that sh*t too
i deliberately avoided doing that
sigh
coloreds


Posted By: Anah
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 2:51pm
Wheres Iyanla when you need herUnhappy


Posted By: TheBridgeToNC
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 2:51pm
Originally posted by tatee tatee wrote:

http://s1177.photobucket.com/user/Saphia_Mayo/media/gifs/tumblr_mqybct7ZXw1qgutkqo8_250_zpscfd150a2.gif.html" rel="nofollow">

THIS GAH DAMN SH*T RIGHT HERE!!!


-The Bridge


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 2:52pm
And mugs talking bout we messy..........Stds? Thats actually an important part of the story.....now it all makes sense......


Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 2:53pm
Originally posted by india100 india100 wrote:

I agree . You are not sure of what you want op .Based on what you wrote , the man was willing to date you while you fejkfjwkjkdfjejflflkddlw ?




Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. India, was that necessary?

What did OP do to you?


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 2:56pm
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

wow--India. you for real had to mention that? it was that pertinent to the thread? smdh. 
I just return after several days to read the topic . The girl gave the info and i ask a question. I have seen you say things many times that where awful epitome . Shock you would have a problem with me asking a question about something the op spoke on . My question was pertinent to her op .


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 2:57pm
I like this India......


Posted By: Anah
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 2:58pm
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

And mugs talking bout we messy..........Stds? Thats actually an important part of the story.....now it all makes sense......

Like folks don't know messy when they see it, and or are being so Ermm

Ok. 

Well, if I suddenly feel pressed,  Ill keep a running tab of who is being messy and at the end of the thread Ill make a list Thumbs Up




Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 2:59pm
so now im confused...is the std the reason the cabin trip didn't happen?


Posted By: TheBridgeToNC
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 2:59pm
From a guys perspective....



You seem crazy.



VERY crazy.




-The Bridge


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 2:59pm

Unhappy



Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 3:01pm
Originally posted by Anah Anah wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

And mugs talking bout we messy..........Stds? Thats actually an important part of the story.....now it all makes sense......


Like folks don't know messy when they see it, and or are being so Ermm

Ok. 

Well, if I suddenly feel pressed,  Ill keep a running tab of who is being messy and at the end of the thread Ill make a list Thumbs Up




Oh okay....you gotta know when no one give fizni-ee........but you make that list


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 3:03pm
Originally posted by india100 india100 wrote:

Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

wow--India. you for real had to mention that? it was that pertinent to the thread? smdh. 
I just return after several days to read the topic . The girl gave the info and i ask a question. I have seen you say things many times that where awful epitome . Shock you would have a problem with me asking a question about something the op spoke on . My question was pertinent to her op .


please keep what is happening with this topic and not various other topics. you've been messy in your bhm past as well so let's stop feigning this innocent india act mmk?Wink



past performance/post is irrelevant to what YOU decided to post today since others are equally perplexed by your question

eta: and since im a big ole meanie that must mean you comment was kinda shocking since the big ole meanie raised her eyebrows

then again ive been gone for awhile so ive forgotten how BHM works...it's like my BHM meter needs to be re-calibrated...


Posted By: TheBridgeToNC
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 3:03pm
Oh sh*t.....shorty had....

Wait....which one of them can make you very ill for a while then go away and allow you to continue to have sex safely?


Like...thats a real question...


-The Bridge


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 3:04pm
Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

so now im confused...is the std the reason the cabin trip didn't happen?
I don't know wonderful. The girl gave the info and i asked her why she would leave a man that would stand by her . I can see if she never mention her condition in any topics on bhm .


Posted By: .hott.pink.
Date Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 3:04pm
Originally posted by TheBridgeToNC TheBridgeToNC wrote:

Oh sh*t.....shorty had....

Wait....which one of them can make you very ill for a while then go away and allow you to continue to have sex safely?


Like...thats a real question...


-The Bridge

...this exists? 





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