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To the first generation new worlders..

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Printed Date: Dec 15 2017 at 4:33pm


Topic: To the first generation new worlders..
Posted By: sbrownie84
Subject: To the first generation new worlders..
Date Posted: Jul 04 2013 at 11:15am
This is a post for all the first generation Americans, Canadians, Europeans... .. Anyone with parentage from outside of the 'developed countries'

Was there a period of time where you felt alone bc of the differing cultures or did you connect more with the culture from your parents countries?

Would you date a man from that country?

I'm saying this bc for the majority of my life I considered myself non American even though I was born and raised here until I spend a long period of time in my parents country. Now I'm like 'hellz no I'm American'.



Replies:
Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jul 04 2013 at 11:41am
potential!


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jul 04 2013 at 11:42am
so what was you epiphany to consider yourself fully american?



Posted By: sbrownie84
Date Posted: Jul 04 2013 at 11:57am
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

so what was you epiphany to consider yourself fully american?

Lol. Good try Afro...

I just did not connect with the culture as quickly as much as I thought I would. I'll leave it that.


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jul 04 2013 at 11:58am
how was that a good try, it was a genuine question,



Posted By: sbrownie84
Date Posted: Jul 04 2013 at 12:14pm
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

how was that a good try, it was a genuine question,


Ok.


Posted By: JamCaygirl
Date Posted: Jul 04 2013 at 1:20pm
where are your parents from?

I spent half childhood in each country, so I fully relate to neither....


Posted By: Tbaby
Date Posted: Jul 04 2013 at 1:29pm
I can easily see this morphing into a "bash AAs, or bash America in general" thread.

Waits for it.
..


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Jul 04 2013 at 2:27pm
So all you knew was American and you didn't consider yourself american?



Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Jul 04 2013 at 2:31pm
Originally posted by sbrownie84 sbrownie84 wrote:


I'm saying this bc for the majority of my life I considered myself non American even though I was born and raised here until I spend a long period of time in my parents country. Now I'm like 'hellz no I'm American'.
 
Confused


Posted By: Omni Harmony
Date Posted: Jul 04 2013 at 3:04pm
Originally posted by ThoughtCouture ThoughtCouture wrote:

Originally posted by sbrownie84 sbrownie84 wrote:


I'm saying this bc for the majority of my life I considered myself non American even though I was born and raised here until I spend a long period of time in my parents country. Now I'm like 'hellz no I'm American'.
 
Confused
the bolded would be the epiphany ak was looking forLOL


Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Jul 04 2013 at 3:23pm
you don't have to pick a side ... just be


Posted By: sbrownie84
Date Posted: Jul 04 2013 at 3:42pm
Originally posted by Tbaby Tbaby wrote:

I can easily see this morphing into a "bash AAs, or bash America in general" thread.

Waits for it.
..


That's what I realized after posting. I'm drawing back.


Posted By: sbrownie84
Date Posted: Jul 04 2013 at 3:43pm
Originally posted by rickysrose rickysrose wrote:

you don't have to pick a side ... just be


Nice way of looking at it That is true


Posted By: GoodGirlGoneGr8
Date Posted: Jul 04 2013 at 4:40pm
Idk why I assumed this would have something to do with the illuminati...


Posted By: Maple Syrup
Date Posted: Jul 04 2013 at 5:15pm
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

So all you knew was American and you didn't consider yourself american?




That's pretty common for many children of immigrants, not only in America, but Canada, UK, any where in the world.


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jul 04 2013 at 5:18pm
Originally posted by Maple Syrup Maple Syrup wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

So all you knew was American and you didn't consider yourself american?




That's pretty common for many children of immigrants, not only in America, but Canada, UK, any where in the world.
yeah.

I find, in my opinion of course, Africans and other people of black descent are proud to have kids who don't speak the mother tongue.

You find 1st gem offspring of the above with seemingly no knowledge or pride of their culture, but their Asian or Indian counterparts who may be 3 gens deep are so culturally aware with command of their native tongues like they just stepped off the boat

It amuses me.


Posted By: Jewelsnyc
Date Posted: Jul 04 2013 at 5:33pm
Originally posted by sbrownie84 sbrownie84 wrote:

This is a post for all the first generation Americans, Canadians, Europeans... .. Anyone with parentage from outside of the 'developed countries'

Was there a period of time where you felt alone bc of the differing cultures or did you connect more with the culture from your parents countries?

My father was american & my mother was Jamaican. I was raised more Americanized. I lived in JA for a year or so when I was little and if my father didn't break fool, I would've probably lived my whole life there...Because of that incident, I guess I gravitated towards american customs because my Dad & I were very close...but when I went to my mom's side of the family...Shocked culture shock like a mug!! Nothing but Jamican food, which I wasn't used to eating & an extremely strict upbringing...


Would you date a man from that country? I have mixed feelings, not really sure. Although there are many great qualities Jamaican men have, there are far more stereotypical things that I've run across I'd prefer not to have in a relationship.

I'm saying this bc for the majority of my life I considered myself non American even though I was born and raised here until I spend a long period of time in my parents country. Now I'm like 'hellz no I'm American'.


Posted By: Jewelsnyc
Date Posted: Jul 04 2013 at 5:34pm
Originally posted by Jewelsnyc Jewelsnyc wrote:

Originally posted by sbrownie84 sbrownie84 wrote:

This is a post for all the first generation Americans, Canadians, Europeans... .. Anyone with parentage from outside of the 'developed countries'

Was there a period of time where you felt alone bc of the differing cultures or did you connect more with the culture from your parents countries?

My father was american & my mother was Jamaican. I was raised more Americanized. I lived in JA for a year or so when I was little and if my father didn't break fool, I would've probably lived my whole life there...Because of that incident, I guess I gravitated towards american customs because my Dad & I were very close...but when I went to my mom's side of the family...Shocked culture shock like a mug!! Nothing but Jamican food, which I wasn't used to eating & an extremely strict upbringing...


Would you date a man from that country? I have mixed feelings, not really sure. Although there are many great qualities Jamaican men have, there are far more stereotypical things that I've run across I'd prefer not to have in a relationship.

I'm saying this bc for the majority of my life I considered myself non American even though I was born and raised here until I spend a long period of time in my parents country. Now I'm like 'hellz no I'm American'.
When I was growing up, it wasn't cool to be Jamaican..now that I'm older and understand/appreciate the traditions & the culture that was given to me, I'm proud to be and consider myself Jamaican.


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Jul 04 2013 at 5:42pm
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

Originally posted by Maple Syrup Maple Syrup wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

So all you knew was American and you didn't consider yourself american?




That's pretty common for many children of immigrants, not only in America, but Canada, UK, any where in the world.
yeah.

I find, in my opinion of course, Africans and other people of black descent are proud to have kids who don't speak the mother tongue.

You find 1st gem offspring of the above with seemingly no knowledge or pride of their culture, but their Asian or Indian counterparts who may be 3 gens deep are so culturally aware with command of their native tongues like they just stepped off the boat

It amuses me.

I have a mexican friend with grandparents that refuse to teach her Spanish......her mother doesnt speak Spanish either......poor thing tried to learn it in school.


Posted By: Sang Froid
Date Posted: Jul 04 2013 at 5:50pm
When we talk about American culture we're talking about black American right?
Cause I can't relate to whitey...


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Jul 04 2013 at 5:52pm
I wish my grandmother would have taught us french......I get a lil jelly when other people can have side convos in another language.......


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Jul 04 2013 at 7:52pm
Interesting question. Tbh, to this day, I don't spontaneously refer to myself as Canadian (except on BHM, lol!) when I'm asked for my nationality, unless I'm trying to piss off white folks who ask me the same old annoying "where are you from" question. And this, even though I was born and raised here and never spent any significant amount of time in either Haiti or Guadeloupe (except for a few holidays). I tend to say I'm Haitian/Guadeloupian with a stronger emphasis on Haitian.
 
I guess it comes from growing up not being de facto accepted as a Canadian by white folks in Quebec. On the other hand, I can't say that I felt torn. It's hard to explain. I always knew that my mentality/my outlook on things was strongly Canadian, all the while retaining elements of my parents' cultures. And frankly, for a long time I never even wanted to date a Haitian at all (not many Guadeloupians here anyway, so it's not much of an issue). I knew I had little to no interest in white dudes, though. My first boyfriend was African and I only had two Haitian boyfriends throughout my life, one of which was a brief fling. I did date 2 white guys, but again very briefly. I wouldn't call those relationships. Ironically, now I'm totally open and eager to dating Haitian and other west-indian men (as long as they are born here or in the West, lol!) I guess my marriage took care of that, lol.
 
I had a stronger sense of black pride (from taking an interest in Haitian history and subsequently all of black history worldwide in my teens) than I did west-indian pride, if it makes any sense.
 
Great question, though.


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Jul 04 2013 at 8:02pm
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

I wish my grandmother would have taught us french......I get a lil jelly when other people can have side convos in another language.......
 
Well, if you're Haitian and were raised in the U.S., that sort of makes sense. None of my cousins who are born and raised in the U.S. speak any French at all. They communicated with family in creole (and even that is somewhat rusty! It's more that they understand creole perfectly). Ironically one of my cousins married a white dude with French roots and now she regrets it!
 
My situation is different because I was raised in French Canada and went through the French school system up until university. So it made sense that my parents would speak to me both in creole and in French growing up, plus French was my first language in school and society. I learned English as a teenager, through watching soap operas mostly (lol) and through listening to music and reading novels.


Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Jul 04 2013 at 10:39pm
sbrownie are you talking about or influenced by not being accepted as "local" or genuine in your parents' home country?

I am Jamaican, always will be but I realize that living in Jamaica, I wouldn't necessarily be seen that way but that doesn't affect my affinity

people stereotype, you can use it to your advantage sometimes, sometimes you just have to shrug but I wouldn't let that take away from who you are




Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Jul 04 2013 at 10:44pm

I was born, raised and lived in North America most of my life

but when I step foot in the Caribbean it feels like home in such a primal way




Posted By: newdiva1
Date Posted: Jul 05 2013 at 3:38am
Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

I wish my grandmother would have taught us french......I get a lil jelly when other people can have side convos in another language.......
 
Well, if you're Haitian and were raised in the U.S., that sort of makes sense. None of my cousins who are born and raised in the U.S. speak any French at all. They communicated with family in creole (and even that is somewhat rusty! It's more that they understand creole perfectly). Ironically one of my cousins married a white dude with French roots and now she regrets it!
 
My situation is different because I was raised in French Canada and went through the French school system up until university. So it made sense that my parents would speak to me both in creole and in French growing up, plus French was my first language in school and society. I learned English as a teenager, through watching soap operas mostly (lol) and through listening to music and reading novels.

 

Why?


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Jul 05 2013 at 3:43am
Originally posted by newdiva1 newdiva1 wrote:

Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:

Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

I wish my grandmother would have taught us french......I get a lil jelly when other people can have side convos in another language.......
 
Well, if you're Haitian and were raised in the U.S., that sort of makes sense. None of my cousins who are born and raised in the U.S. speak any French at all. They communicated with family in creole (and even that is somewhat rusty! It's more that they understand creole perfectly). Ironically one of my cousins married a white dude with French roots and now she regrets it!
 
My situation is different because I was raised in French Canada and went through the French school system up until university. So it made sense that my parents would speak to me both in creole and in French growing up, plus French was my first language in school and society. I learned English as a teenager, through watching soap operas mostly (lol) and through listening to music and reading novels.

 

Why?
 
Because her in-laws speak French and she doesn't. Her being of Haitian descent makes it even worse for her not to know any French at all.


Posted By: newdiva1
Date Posted: Jul 05 2013 at 3:43am
dang.  that sucks.


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Jul 05 2013 at 3:57am
@ New Diva: Yeah, it does. Truth be told, people born and raised in the States that are of Haitian descent should be trilingual (English, creole and French), imo. But as a few people stated, a lot of black children of immigrants (not all, of course) tend to not value their parents' linguistic heritage. Other ethnic groups like Chinese or latinos will not do that. Never met a north American raised Chinese that didn't speak Chinese.
 
I think that in the States (for Haitians anyway), it has to do with several factors. First, creole being the language used between intimates, it makes sense that parents would speak it to their kids. Secondly, American culture is kind of self-absorbed in a way (no, not tryna diss America, just stating the fact that americans see themselves as the center of the universe and only America and English matters). Thirdly, until recently, a lot of Haitian-Americans felt it wasn't cool to identify as Haitian and were berated by other blacks for it. It's only in recent years that Haitian-americans came to claim it and a lot of them still don't.


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Jul 05 2013 at 4:02am
Originally posted by CherryBlossom CherryBlossom wrote:

I'd be so embarrassed 
 
I would be too. Especially when you consider the implications (hopefully, the in-laws don't know this) that in Haiti, not speaking any French usually denotes being of a lower class. In my father's time, school was not thought in creole and creole hadn't been codified in written form. So it was imperative for the educated to speak it. Nowadays, lots of public schools don't even bother with French anymore. Only in private school do you learn it properly. I think it's a huge mistake on the part of the Haitian government because only a handful of countries speak creole and it's not necessarily the same creole. You have a generation of kids who either don't speak French in Haiti itself because they are poor or do speak it but atrociously so.


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Jul 05 2013 at 4:19am
Originally posted by CherryBlossom CherryBlossom wrote:

Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:

Originally posted by CherryBlossom CherryBlossom wrote:

I'd be so embarrassed 
 
I would be too. Especially when you consider the implications (hopefully, the in-laws don't know this) that in Haiti, not speaking any French usually denotes being of a lower class. In my father's time, school was not thought in creole and creole hadn't been codified in written form. So it was imperative for the educated to speak it. Nowadays, lots of public schools don't even bother with French anymore. Only in private school do you learn it properly. I think it's a huge mistake on the part of the Haitian government because only a handful of countries speak creole and it's not necessarily the same creole. You have a generation of kids who either don't speak French in Haiti itself because they are poor or do speak it but atrociously so.
Wow Jolie, that's very interesting! I had no idea it was like that in Haiti...I just always assumed that the language of the coloniser would always be the one that was spoken first and foremost especially in schools. 

I think it's a mistake too, French is so widely spoken around the world, it would be a shame to deny children the right to speak it.

Honestly, I think my embarrassment would stem from having a white hubby who can speak my language better than I can...lol it sounds bad but that's how I'd feel...embarrassed and insulted tbh.
To be specific, creole is in great part the language of the coloniser. It's mostly old French mixed with a little bit of Spanish and a tiny bit of English (since Americans invaded the country in the 20's) along with various African dialects from the slaves. It's how the slaves from different African nations managed to communicate with each other and white Haitians also use it with intimates. But French was always school thought. Which meant that if you were poor and illiterate, you couldn't necessarily speak it. Now it's even worse because in the last few decades, creole got codified in written form even though it's a patois. However the elite newspapers for instance are all in French. Books are in French. So if you don't speak it, chances are you are poor and poorly educated.


Posted By: HaitianDiva64
Date Posted: Jul 05 2013 at 5:07am
Originally posted by rickysrose rickysrose wrote:


I was born, raised and lived in North America most of my life

but when I step foot in the Caribbean it feels like home in such a primal way




This, i was scared as hell getting on that plane now I'm looking for a house there. Growing up my fam would tease I'm not true haitian but once i step foot on that soil nothing but love.

Now i feel I'm more haitian than american even though i was born and raised in America


Posted By: sbrownie84
Date Posted: Jul 05 2013 at 11:57am
Originally posted by rickysrose rickysrose wrote:

sbrownie are you talking about or influenced by not being accepted as "local" or genuine in your parents' home country?

I am Jamaican, always will be but I realize that living in Jamaica, I wouldn't necessarily be seen that way but that doesn't affect my affinity

people stereotype, you can use it to your advantage sometimes, sometimes you just have to shrug but I wouldn't let that take away from who you are




Yes, I am talking about that for the most part. I can even go as further with my mom who came to the states in her teens and have lived here since but is still very connected with her country. So much in fact that she did nit assimilate at all. My mother is an intelligent woman and is to s certain extent very worldly and exposed but I only realized this year that the small gap of misunderstanding in our relationship is cultural. There are certain behaviors that she accepts from others in light of ' culture' and I deem as disrespectful. I realized that she connects more with my cousins or family members that are still in her country as opposed to me In Certain instances. It is always a battle if what is better amongst us as opposed to trying to understand each other.

It's hard to form an example but I can give s quick one. In her country it is ok to lie and gossip about ppl behind their backs bc it is the culture. Whereas in America there are major reprecusions for slander. That is just a small example of what I mean.   


Posted By: Sleek
Date Posted: Jul 05 2013 at 1:12pm
Born in Barbados came to the states when i was 3 im more Bajan than America


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Jul 05 2013 at 1:14pm
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

so what was you epiphany to consider yourself fully american?

I never called myself American until I left the country. Always black, and when black wasn't an option, I was confused for a sec


Posted By: fairyQueen092
Date Posted: Jul 05 2013 at 1:21pm
Originally posted by rickysrose rickysrose wrote:


I was born, raised and lived in North America most of my life

but when I step foot in the Caribbean it feels like home in such a primal way




I feel the same way, such an odd feeling, but nice



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