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My so BFF rubs me the wrong way

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Printed Date: May 20 2018 at 9:30pm


Topic: My so BFF rubs me the wrong way
Posted By: qheenkitty
Subject: My so BFF rubs me the wrong way
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 4:29am
My so best friend is a female. They have known each other for years since grade school but since the first day I met her she has rubbed me the wrong way and here is why. our first time meeting was very awkward. she moved to another state but came here frequently to visit family and friends. Even though she always came into town, its like my so was chasing her down. it took months for him to finally catch up with her and when he did he took me along. Since he considers her his BFF I expected a warm welcome because we have dated for some time now but nope she was basically ignoring me gave me a stank ass hey and didn't include me in their conversations. This was last year.

At first he had me hating her because its like she was always in town but had every excuse under the sun as to why she couldn't meet up with him. Im talking about her being here 2 weekends out the month and not one visit and she avoided his phone calls. He was really hurt by it and i was hurt for him. We would be out somewhere and she would lie about meeting up with us then she would never show. But the one that really got my attention was on my brothers birthday. We took him to a hookah bar and once again was trying to hang out with her while she was in town. We left because the place was closing even though she said she was on her way. Well he called her once we were all in the car he said that we would come pick her up so we could all hang out at my place. She was like oh I can't hang out my hair ain't done I instantly took this as what is she trying to impress my man for especially if she was just out with her cousin. Like how you looked for them isn't a good enough look for us or him

Then her class reunion was coming up and she asked him if he would go with her. I didn't say anything because I said you know friends go together but when she told him he would have to rent a suit and get matching colors to her dress like they were going to prom or some crap I instantly thought it was more of a date than two friends going to go and kick it with old high school friends and stuff. Not to mention how she said that she wanted my so to basically showboat her around the reunion to show all the guys how fine she was since she lost weight like who does that? He didn't go because it rubbed me the wrong way.

She was in town the other week and she called my so up to borrow $20. out of the last year he and I have only seen her once but her ass wasn't avoiding him when she needed to borrow some money smh. He invited me to hang out with them but I told him naw I'm good besides it was almost 2 am and she was leaving in a few hours.

i am not saying that I don't trust that they are anything more than just friends but I'm saying that t say that she is the one I don't trust and that if he would go there with her i doubt she would decline. I'm not saying he would ever but i just notice how she acts on Facebook with her other male friends. She is one of those girls who has to have every guys attention I order to be relevant. She told a guys gf that I have him half the day you get him the other half and laughed about causing friction between them. I just think she is thirsty. I just feel when you are friends there are boundaries that you stay within.

She lost a lot of weight and I k now how it is to feel yourself but when they are talking on the phone all she talks about is how many dates she went on, how many guys want her, and what club she's going to this weekend. Not a how are you doing, how's your family etc. it's all very one sided. My so thinks the world runs on rainbows and that everyone doesn't have ill intent he just wants us all to be the best of friends but I have explained to him over and over that sone of this isnt very friend lime behavior. It seems lime if im around thats when she avoids him the most. She had no problem hanging out with him a few weeks ago knowing that i wasn't coming along. I asked my so if he thought that she was attracted to him and he always says that she is like a sister. I may not understand ether relationship since they have years of friendship but would any of this rub you guys the wrong way?



Replies:
Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 4:32am
That chick wants him.


Posted By: qheenkitty
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 4:36am
Originally posted by Midna Midna wrote:

That chick wants him.



That's what I told him. He had the craziest look on his face when I broke it down like how I did and said he never thought about it like that but that she is like his sister. We have been semi arguing about it lately. I just don't think any of that is appropriate. I know it's his BFF but she is thirsty and it rubs me the wrong way.


Posted By: Harmonii
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 4:37am
Originally posted by Midna Midna wrote:

That chick wants him.



I didn't even read the whole thing and said this. She wants ur man.


Posted By: qheenkitty
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 4:47am
Can you guys please elaborate. I want to tell him in another way since what I have said isn't sinking in or do I tell him anything at all? I just don't know what to say anymore. If strangers can see this plain as day then why can't he?


Posted By: ShadyLady
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 4:49am
I'm not getting the vibe that she wants him... more like she's a sh!tty ass user who only wants to deal with him when she needs to borrow money, wants to discuss HER life, or needs a favor like taking her to her reunion.

The fact that he has to chase her down and she avoids his phone calls makes her a crappy friend in my opinion. She could at least answer the phone and tell him she has plans or something.



Posted By: qheenkitty
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 4:52am
Originally posted by ShadyLady ShadyLady wrote:

I'm not getting the vibe that she wants him... more like she's a sh!tty ass user who only wants to deal with him when she needs to borrow money, wants to discuss HER life, or needs a favor like taking her to her reunion.

The fact that he has to chase her down and she avoids his phone calls makes her a crappy friend in my opinion. She could at least answer the phone and tell him she has plans or something.



This as well but I just don't get the whole my hair not done thing when you haven't seen your so called BFF for over a year especially when she was at a nearby club right before he called. I guess users have excuses too


Posted By: femmemichelle
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 4:52am
Your SO isn't dumb and he probably entertains the fact that she likes him, sorry to break that to you. Men are not ignorant of women who like them. That whole class reunion fiasco would've prompted a call from me to her.


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 4:58am
 She has so many guys that want to date her yet she takes your bf to the reunion? lol Yeah something isn't right here. She either likes him or she is using him for company while she is in town.




Posted By: qheenkitty
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 5:00am
Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

Your SO isn't dumb and he probably entertains the fact that she likes him, sorry to break that to you. Men are not ignorant of women who like them. That whole class reunion fiasco would've prompted a call from me to her.


Either he is a really good actor or he knows butI just don't think so. After I brokeit down for him, he called her and asked her put on speakerphone and she was like I gotta go call you right back and never called back. he just wants us to all be friends but its not going to happen.


Posted By: Prazol60
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 5:38am
If she was avoiding him then he should have picked up the hint she was cutting him off. But he chased her down and now she is using him since he couldn't leave her alone. That is not how friends act. He needs to wake up to that fact and just leave her alone. 


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 5:51am
she called at 2am wanting to hangout and borrow $20?




Posted By: qheenkitty
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 6:00am
No he was working at around 5 pm when she borrowed the money. He tried to get me to drop it off to her but was like hell no so she came to his job to get it instead. We were supposed to double date with another couple that same night but they flaked and she text him at around 1 am that she was leaving town earlier than expected he asked me if. Wanted to go see her before she left but I said hell no lol


Posted By: keelolo1
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 6:22am
They fukcing. Sorry.


Posted By: laceyfront
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 6:42am
He got feelings for her too, the way he chasing her around. This is sad, clearly the friendship is not what it used to be so why is he hounding her like that........ She probably don't want to be around him because you will be there and it's probably hurting her seeing ya'll together. Watch out hunty.


Posted By: khivey
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 6:43am
My advice? Leave it alone. There is nothing you can say or do to make that man see what you want him to see. That is his best friend. point. blank. She definitely wants him and he doesn't like her like that at all..trust me. So just chill and don't give it anymore limelight. She will eventually show her colors to him and he will make the appropriate choice. But you always in his ear will only make him see you as the one with ill intent.

Oh and I wouldn't be surprised if he has told her what you have insinuated. That may play a role in why she avoids hanging out when you are around. He said she is like a sister...so he confides in her too


Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 8:24am
Originally posted by qheenkitty qheenkitty wrote:

she moved to another state but came here frequently to visit family and friends...
 
she called my so up to borrow $20.
 
i stopped reading after that...Stern Smile


Posted By: marnee
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 8:32am
It might not be that she wants him, but rather  she doesn't like you for whatever reason and avoids him when you are around?


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 8:39am
How does she have feelings for him if shes avoiding him and it is him thats chasing her down? I mean if she knows he's in a relationship maybe she is just backing off and staying in her lane. BFF or not when one of my Manfolk are in a relationship we dont kick it as much. She didnt want to come to the party because her hair wasnt done...why is it assumed she only wanted to catch the eye of ur man and not the eye of the other men who would be in attendance?

 She lose weight and shes enjoying dating.....whateva shes single..let her be...I dont read into convos ppl have on their FB walls because I dont know the relationship between them. You dont know her so you dont know if she was joking or not. The borrowing of $20 bucks was odd but whateva its not major money between friends... but ya shes in another state wha u worried about enjoying her new body and dates  Keep an eye on ya man not her.

If they were that close and he was that eagered to see her she either had him or could of had him a long time ago. Sometimes GFs be thinking is the female best friend on the hunt when its really ya man thats using u as a placeholder until he can sway his best friend to be with him.


jus sayin


Posted By: freedom76
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 8:46am
Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:

How does she have feelings for him if shes avoiding him and it is him thats chasing her down? I mean if she knows he's in a relationship maybe she is just backing off and staying in her lane. BFF or not when one of my Manfolk are in a relationship we dont kick it as much. She didnt want to come to the party because her hair wasnt done...why is it assumed she only wanted to catch the eye of ur man and not the eye of the other men who would be in attendance?

 She lose weight and shes enjoying dating.....whateva shes single..let her be...I dont read into convos ppl have on their FB walls because I dont know the relationship between them. You dont know her so you dont know if she was joking or not. The borrowing of $20 bucks was odd but whateva its not major money between friends... but ya shes in another state wha u worried about enjoying her new body and dates  Keep an eye on ya man not her.

If they were that close and he was that eagered to see her she either had him or could of had him a long time ago. Sometimes GFs be thinking is the female best friend on the hunt when its really ya man thats using u as a placeholder until he can sway his best friend to be with him.


jus sayin


Thank you GKisses......From what I read in the OP, nothing made me think she wants him either. It is really possible that the BFF just doesn't like the OP. That doesn't mean she wants him. And just b/c a woman is "thirsty" doesn't mean she wants EVERY man, including the OP's SO. I need more than her hair wasn't up to par to believe she wants him. It also seems like she doesn't really feel like he is HER BFF, even if he feels she is. Let it go! Sometimes people hold on to friendships even when they are dying.


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 8:50am
I don't understand how she wants him if she doesn't really want to hang out? i don't get it.


Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 8:52am
i didn't get the sense that she wants him either...
 
i don't think she really considers him her bff tho...


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 8:52am
Yea, from what I gather. She doesn't want to hang out with him like that. & when she did she asked for $20, lol.

You guys are mad and seem to be pushing it. She lost weight and wants to show off. I am sure if they are that close and she wanted him, she would have tried to fck him when she was fat.




Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 8:53am
She just doesn't like you......and her dislike for you is the real issue......if you weren't around they would be thick as thieves not because she want him but because she just dont like you.........borrowing $20 from a friend ain't strange......that's his BFF......


Posted By: Spokenword
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 8:54am
it appears that they are not best friends anymore. best friends dont act like that.  someone needs to get the memo and act accordingly. 


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 8:57am
Originally posted by qheenkitty qheenkitty wrote:

Can you guys please elaborate. I want to tell him in another way since what I have said isn't sinking in or do I tell him anything at all? I just don't know what to say anymore. If strangers can see this plain as day then why can't he?

I think you should stay out of it. I'd address that the matching outfits for her reunion doesn't sit right and sounds like a date.

He is chasing her down. She comes there all the time and doesn't see him. She is avoiding him. He is running after her.
She talks to him about other guys...that's what most friends do...lol


Posted By: AfricanLove1415
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 9:04am
Originally posted by Midna Midna wrote:

That chick wants him.
oh no that ishhh aint cool all of that would have had to stop after that reunion sh*tDisapprove


Posted By: AfricanLove1415
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 9:05am
Originally posted by AfricanLove1415 AfricanLove1415 wrote:

Originally posted by Midna Midna wrote:

That chick wants him.
oh no that ishhh aint cool all of that would have had to stop after that reunion sh*tDisapprove
my b for cursing


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 9:06am
I had to read this a few times:

At first he had me hating her because its like she was always in town but had every excuse under the sun as to why she couldn't meet up with him.


Why are you so invested? I can't stand going out with my friend's so's all the time. I am not their friend. I tell that to everyone that. It gets annoying. I don't even like when my sister's bring their so's/husband to everything we do. I am also happy to know it will just be "them" alone. I don't think she wants to hang with you. I bet she doesn't drag him with her b/f's or on dates.

If his bff was a guy, would you care if he talked about girls and clubs? Would you always want to tag along? He doesn't see a problem with it their friendship so I'd leave it alone. Do you trust him?




Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 9:07am

ummmm...if a mofo (family, friend or foe) called me @ 2 am houndng me to "borrow" $20, i would think they had lost their damn mind.  that shyt is beyond nutty, imo.

$20????????!!!!!!!!!!?????????  really????   you traveling to and fro frolicking from state to state, yet you are out roaming around @ 2 am with no coins to rub together.  something ain't right there. no.


Posted By: qheenkitty
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 9:11am
I don't know if she wants him. I guess when others say it it makes me kinda wonder but I completely agree that they aren't the best friends he paints them to be. I mentioned the weight loss thing because she wasn't acting like this when she was fat. They seemed more lime real friends then than now and the whole reunion thing is what rubbed me the wrong way. That happened before my brothers birthday my hair is messed up thing. She was already out at the same time we were at another bar so if she wanted to look good for other guys I'm sure she would have so why pull that bs when he wants to hang out.

On Facebook I wish I could post the convo but the guy said aaaw my girl answered my phone and you told her off telling her I'm yours half the time wtf. She said well you are. When she go to work you be over here with me. He says she gonna dump me. She says good then I get to have you all the time. This was not in a joking way. Ppl we're saying how mean and ratchet she was being and she responded with don't get your man took. Just the week before she was telling everybody how close friends they were then she does and says that on Facebook. I just think its thirsty.

My so almost always has her on speaker cause he wants us to be like three bffs and the way she talks about going on dates with other guys is with intent to make him jealous like he is missing out not just casual convo between friends.

Those things just rub me the wrong way. I wasn't tripping off the money I just mentioned it to show how they aren't great friends and that she's using him. Out of all the days she's ben here that was the one time she actually saw him. That rubs me the wrong way as well.

I know she doesn't like me the feeling is mutual but if you all are such good friends why wouldn't you be happy that your BFF has found someone that makes them happy. When she was in a relationship last year there was all love shown from both me and my so but the stank ass attitude when she met me for the first time just rubbed me the wrong way. She didn't even know me. They had just reconnected to what's the animosity for? I was looking forward to meeting her.


Posted By: goodm3
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 9:17am
Originally posted by ThoughtCouture ThoughtCouture wrote:

ummmm...if a mofo (family, friend or foe) called me @ 2 am houndng me to "borrow" $20, i would think they had lost their damn mind.  that shyt is beyond nutty, imo.

$20????????!!!!!!!!!!?????????  really????   you traveling to and fro frolicking from state to state, yet you are out roaming around @ 2 am with no coins to rub together.  something ain't right there. no.


Thank you!

I don't know how old these people are...but I ain't lending nobody who traveled from out of state with no money. I get that you don't have cash on you to get into the club, pay the tip, etc.. 

and what the heck does $20 get you during the weekend anyway. that's sounds just like an excuse to see him.

ya'll need to start setting boundaries with dudes. ain't NO way a chick calling/texting my man at 1am in the morning. 


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 9:18am
That convo was with another guy, not your guy right? Again, why are you so invested?
She doesn't like you.
You don't like her.
But you are reading her facebook timeline...why are you facebook friends or why are you on his facebook reading her notes to other ppl?

Why is your so determined to make this happen? Tell him to stop it. People act different when they have big life changes, money, weightloss, etc.

He still considers her his bff. let it go.


Posted By: mizzsandra00
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 9:19am
Your timeline seems off..........and you're too invested.......


Posted By: qheenkitty
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 9:21am
That's the thing Nita. I understand that it's his best friend. He even wants her in our wedding if we get married. We've discussed it before so he is always the one making the big effort for all of us to hang out. I always say no you two just d so disappointed about it. I don't like her so nothing gives me more pleaser than to see then hang out together without me. I gladly declined the last time he invited me. I'm not vested but he wants us to all get along which is understandable

The convo with the other guy was to demonstrate how she is with my so and most of her guy friends. Nothing more.


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 9:22am
she doesn't like you. You don't like her.
The only difference in their relationship is she lost weight. Females with female bff's go through this too.

Nothing changed but her bmi and attitude. I don't think she wants him. If you think she is making him jealous by bringing up dates, how do you know she doesn't feel like he is maker her jealous bring up you?


Posted By: qheenkitty
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 9:23am
Be friends that's ok but know your boundaries. I don't think any woman would want her guys friend to speak to him like that. It just rubs me the wrong way.


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 9:25am
did she like you when she was fat?


Posted By: qheenkitty
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 9:27am
Originally posted by goodm3 goodm3 wrote:


Originally posted by ThoughtCouture ThoughtCouture wrote:

ummmm...if a mofo (family, friend or foe) called me @ 2 am houndng me to "borrow" $20, i would think they had lost their damn mind.  that shyt is beyond nutty, imo.


$20????????!!!!!!!!!!?????????  really????   you traveling to and fro frolicking from state to state, yet you are out roaming around @ 2 am with no coins to rub together.  something ain't right there. no.



Thank you!

I don't know how old these people are...but I ain't lending nobody who traveled from out of state with no money. I get that you don't have cash on you to get into the club, pay the tip, etc.. 

and what the heck does $20 get you during the weekend anyway. that's sounds just like an excuse to see him.

ya'll need to start setting boundaries with dudes. ain't NO way a chick calling/texting my man at 1am in the morning. 


Thank you. This pretty much sums up how I feel. I can see both sides of this but there are too many of these instances for me to ignore. Be friends and leave it at that. If not then find you another friend. Friends between men and women almost always gets messy when there are no boundaries. When she was dating she was talking about cutting this chick from Facebook who called her man at midnight asking for a jump . Smh so. Know if she don't like it neither do I.


Posted By: qheenkitty
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 9:31am
She was fat when I first met her. She seemed nice on the phone when we talked but when I met her in person she had a stank attitude so I can't say that she did like me when she was fat only before we met in person.


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 9:31am
I have friends that I consider like siblings. They can call me at anytime if they need me. I have other friends/asscociates that go straight to voicemail...

I think the problem is that she didn't like you. If she were a man, doing the same thing, you wouldn't care. He probably wouldn't be trying so hard.


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 9:33am
Originally posted by qheenkitty qheenkitty wrote:

She was fat when I first met her. She seemed nice on the phone when we talked but when I met her in person she had a stank attitude so I can't say that she did like me when she was fat only before we met in person.
Do you think you are insecure because she lost weight? Like she wasn't a threat, because she was the fat friend?


Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 9:37am

bottom line he has to think she is out of pocket and therefore want make a change.

you can't make him.  well you can try...but it most likely won't end well since he seems to be ok with her treating him like trash...lol


Posted By: qheenkitty
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 9:39am
Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:


Originally posted by qheenkitty qheenkitty wrote:

She was fat when I first met her. She seemed nice on the phone when we talked but when I met her in person she had a stank attitude so I can't say that she did like me when she was fat only before we met in person.
Do you think you are insecure because she lost weight? Like she wasn't a threat, because she was the fat friend?


Insecure because she is a slightly skinnier female version of jay z? Please. Shes still fat even after the weight loss. whether she is 350 or 150 or Even if she looked like Halle berry I am secure in myself. It's not that serious. I was never looking at her like that. She's his BFF like a sister so I thought.


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 9:40am
Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

Originally posted by qheenkitty qheenkitty wrote:

She was fat when I first met her. She seemed nice on the phone when we talked but when I met her in person she had a stank attitude so I can't say that she did like me when she was fat only before we met in person.
Do you think you are insecure because she lost weight? Like she wasn't a threat, because she was the fat friend?



ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh................this makes sense


Posted By: lovelove
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 9:42am
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

She just doesn't like you......and her dislike for you is the real issue......if you weren't around they would be thick as thieves not because she want him but because she just dont like you.........borrowing $20 from a friend ain't strange......that's his BFF......
 
I def. agree with this.

& I also find it strange he did all that to catch up with her...after a while he should of been like f*ck it if she wasn't trying to put in any effort to hang out with you guys.The only woman he needs to put that much effort in for  & "chasing," for is you. LOL


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 9:45am
I knew she would be called ugly...lol but his so called ugly best friend who wants him is avoiding him and only hollas when she needs $20. Shes going on dates and yall to are sitting in Marvins room contemplating on when things went wrong.




Posted By: qheenkitty
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 9:51am
Why does everything have to be a competition among women? He has far more attractive female friends than this one and I don't have any issues with them because they aren't trying to hangout early mornings, treating him like hes some boy toy, matching up suits and dresses like it's the prom etc. She could be the finest thing walking I'm not in competition with anyone because i have his heart I am secure with myself enough to know better. Sorry to burst the bubble on that one.


Posted By: laceyfront
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 9:52am
Just leave him gurl!


Posted By: freedom76
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 9:53am
Originally posted by ThoughtCouture ThoughtCouture wrote:

bottom line he has to think she is out of pocket and therefore want make a change.

you can't make him.  well you can try...but it most likely won't end well since he seems to be ok with her treating him like trash...lol


Right. You can lead a horse to water......

But at the same time you have to be careful when you decide to get too involved in friendships. I have told hubby about his friends that had been a bit shady. Hell he already knew. When you have friend, you can love them despite their faults. No one is perfect...


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 9:57am
Originally posted by qheenkitty qheenkitty wrote:

Why does everything have to be a competition among women? He has far more attractive female friends than this one and I don't have any issues with them because they aren't trying to hangout early mornings, treating him like hes some boy toy, matching up suits and dresses like it's the prom etc. She could be the finest thing walking I'm not in competition with anyone because i have his heart I am secure with myself enough to know better. Sorry to burst the bubble on that one.



You made it a competition by saying that you believe she wants your man. Something about her rubs you the wrong way despite the fact that you only met her once and she avoids the both of you when shes in town. He is the one agreeing to hanging out in the early mornings when she comes into town and or matching when they go to class reunions. If you are secure with yourself and know better then stop stressing over it and be happy with your man. If they are cool and bffs they will be fine.


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 10:00am
Originally posted by qheenkitty qheenkitty wrote:

i have his heart I am secure with myself enough to know better. Sorry to burst the bubble on that one.


Then let it go, and stay off her timeline


Posted By: freedom76
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 10:00am
Originally posted by qheenkitty qheenkitty wrote:

Why does everything have to be a competition among women? He has far more attractive female friends than this one and I don't have any issues with them because they aren't trying to hangout early mornings, treating him like hes some boy toy, matching up suits and dresses like it's the prom etc. She could be the finest thing walking I'm not in competition with anyone because i have his heart I am secure with myself enough to know better. Sorry to burst the bubble on that one.


We are trying to figure out why you think she may want him. Some people are agreeing with you on that. I for one don't see it. I understand that it bothers him that she doesn't spend enough time with him, but to be honest, doesn't it bother you that HE is so pressed?  And then in return, you seem pressed for him. I would think you should be happy that she is running out of rope. Meh. I think this is what people are talking about.


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 10:05am
I lol'd at the early morning thing. Like negros won't shoot the club up at 4pm EST.


Posted By: qheenkitty
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 10:12am
Gotcha! Thanks for everyone's input


Posted By: lexis83
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 10:15am
She's probably giving u space so u dont think she wants him and that's making u think that instead. Also guys hype up their buddies and forget that the friendship doesn't stay the same once a partner comes in play.


Posted By: sugabanana
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 10:25am
Be mad at your man for being thirsty to see her... She's giving you guys space and your man is the one pursuing the friendship. She lost weight, has a J-Hudson body and is dating and enjoying life.

Could it be that your SO is trying to hang with her so bad because he wants to vicariously live the life she's living? Hanging out, dating other people and being happy about life instead of being shacked up with you? That's the question you must ask.

He wants to hang out with her so it could be like old times when they were both single. She probably doesn't like you because of the things he's told her about you. Stern Smile

Just my thoughts.


Posted By: creole booty
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 11:45am
She does want him, sometimes. It's like that sometimes. He's an option. She's dating around so she doesn't want him right now. He allows her to get away with this, yes? He's not slow, he's a man. Men like attention as well. Now that she's lost weight, she's an option too. U aren't crazy. I have lots of guy friends, and I treat them differently. This one sounds like someone she likes. U get it? Don't push them apart. Don't bring it up. He'll just play innocent because he doesn't want to make u mad. They were friends, now there's a little something else. It's not really serious, but u r the girlfriend, so...hmmmm. I've never been the girlfriend before, always the friend. I don't date guys with close female friends lol!

Oh and as far as acting funny towards u...that's a problem. If she can't even fake nice, she views u as a non mothafuc.king factor. That's his fault.


Posted By: Cream1970
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 12:06pm
I don't like her and I don't even know her. I think she has always liked him but because of her weight she was afraid to express that interest in the past. Now that she has lost weight, she hopes he will see her in a different light. He likely knows she likes him but downplays it to avoid an uncomfortable situation.


Posted By: freedom76
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 12:17pm
Originally posted by Cream1970 Cream1970 wrote:

I don't like her and I don't even know her. I think she has always liked him but because of her weight she was afraid to express that interest in the past. Now that she has lost weight, she hopes he will see her in a different light. He likely knows she likes him but downplays it to avoid an uncomfortable situation.
But she is the one ignoring him, while he is running her down to hang out. I don't know these people, but I would say the opposite of what you are writing is more believable.


Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 12:33pm
Originally posted by creole booty creole booty wrote:

If she can't even fake nice, she views u as a non mothafuc.king factor. That's his fault.
 
i agree.  if she was giving you the stank face outta the gate...something ain't right.
 
tell him he needs to strengthen that pimp hand...


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 1:38pm
Op has every right to be suspicious. Her bf might just be someone who cherishes his friendships and thats why he is being "pressed". Not everyone is quick to cut off a friendship. That fb comment makes her look messy. She was probably fat and insecure and now with the weight loss she is smelling herself and just likes attention or want validation that she is hot now.


Or he could want her. Or maybe he already had her. Who knows.

Go with your instincts. Womens intuition has never let me down.


Posted By: beebeexx
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 1:42pm
I get the impression that you are always attached to these hangouts with her BFF and she's not interested.
it's always us and we...
I'm not coming to town to visit a twosome yknow?

I don't think she likes him... just doesn't always want to be around you to hang out with him.


Posted By: Cream1970
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 1:48pm
Ole guhl knows the best way to get a man to chase you is to run away.


Posted By: qheenkitty
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 2:01pm
Ok I have an update. I slept overs last night and I took a nap and woke up to him going through my phone before He went to work. He read text messages between me and my best friend talking about his BFF. He confronts me and asks what i have against her. Again I tell him pretty much everything I've told you guys and he starts to blush and smirk and smile when I got to the part about how she wants him. I am pretty much devastated because I know what that means but idk what to say. I'm with my BFF right now and we are riding around crying together. We both are having man problems right now.


Posted By: Blac1Chyna
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 2:03pm
Imma give you the real from MY perspective. I feel like he really wanna be with her, she just keep him around b/c he's convienient. plainly put she has your man in the friend zone. i feel like if she gave him the chance he'd be with her, but he cant so thats why they're just "friends".  You shouldnt be giving her the side eye you should be giving your man the side eye. 


Posted By: sugabanana
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 2:06pm
Originally posted by qheenkitty qheenkitty wrote:

Ok I have an update. I slept overs last night and I took a nap and woke up to him going through my phone before He went to work. He read text messages between me and my best friend talking about his BFF. He confronts me and asks what i have against her. Again I tell him pretty much everything I've told you guys and he starts to blush and smirk and smile when I got to the part about how she wants him. I am pretty much devastated because I know what that means but idk what to say. I'm with my BFF right now and we are riding around crying together. We both are having man problems right now.

Girl wipe DEM tears up and put on your big girl panties. You got this man running after his BFF like he done lost his mind all cos she lost weight and they have a history together. The only thing is she is respecting you enough to give you space but your boyfriend is the one pursuing her. Confront him and ask him what he wants. If he's wishy washy then move the hell on out and carry on with your life. Got Thelma and Louise riding around in a car crying over menz problems.......Confused


Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 2:06pm
Originally posted by sugabanana sugabanana wrote:

  Got Thelma and Louise riding around in a car crying over menz problems.......Confused
 
LOLLOLLOLLOLCryLOLLOLCryDead


Posted By: Rumbera
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 2:08pm
Hmm, this is not looking good.
 
She likes the attention and he likes the chase.
 
Move on you deserve better.


Posted By: Rumbera
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 2:10pm
Originally posted by qheenkitty qheenkitty wrote:

No he was working at around 5 pm when she borrowed the money. He tried to get me to drop it off to her but was like hell no so she came to his job to get it instead. We were supposed to double date with another couple that same night but they flaked and she text him at around 1 am that she was leaving town earlier than expected he asked me if. Wanted to go see her before she left but I said hell no lol
 
i wish a nucca would ask me some ish like that... seriously i wish he would..Geek
 
Askin me to drop off $20.... man get yo life


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 2:13pm
i clocked out at "he was reading my text messages" and was DONE at "he smirked." that is some bitchnig.ga sh*t right dere!!

let him go fvck his broke ass friend with the loose skin and likely loose vagina


Posted By: miana79
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 2:15pm
Why is your so friends with that type of person?


Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 2:17pm
Originally posted by Rumbera Rumbera wrote:

Originally posted by qheenkitty qheenkitty wrote:

No he was working at around 5 pm when she borrowed the money. He tried to get me to drop it off to her but was like hell no so she came to his job to get it instead. We were supposed to double date with another couple that same night but they flaked and she text him at around 1 am that she was leaving town earlier than expected he asked me if. Wanted to go see her before she left but I said hell no lol
 
i wish a nucca would ask me some ish like that... seriously i wish he would..Geek
 
Askin me to drop off $20.... man get yo life
 
drop off 2 tens to a broke azz bish that called my man @ 2 am yet can't even fake force a polite smile in my direction?????
 
man listen...when he opened up his mouth to speak those words...that shyt would not be a pretty scene...Stern Smile


Posted By: miana79
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 2:19pm
Originally posted by qheenkitty qheenkitty wrote:

Ok I have an update. I slept overs last night and I took a nap and woke up to him going through my phone before He went to work. He read text messages between me and my best friend talking about his BFF. He confronts me and asks what i have against her. Again I tell him pretty much everything I've told you guys and he starts to blush and smirk and smile when I got to the part about how she wants him. I am pretty much devastated because I know what that means but idk what to say. I'm with my BFF right now and we are riding around crying together. We both are having man problems right now.
 
well you know what that smirk means! by his reaction, it seems that smashed before!


Posted By: tropical-punch
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 2:27pm
Why hasn't he dropped her yet? She's clearly not a good friend. 


Posted By: tropical-punch
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 2:27pm
And no way in hell my man is going to see a female at 2AM. But he knows better than that. 


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 2:31pm
Originally posted by qheenkitty qheenkitty wrote:

My so best friend is a female. 

He invited me to hang out with them but I told him naw I'm good besides it was almost 2 am and she was leaving in a few hours. 

 




Posted By: Rumbera
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 2:33pm
Originally posted by ThoughtCouture ThoughtCouture wrote:

Originally posted by Rumbera Rumbera wrote:

Originally posted by qheenkitty qheenkitty wrote:

No he was working at around 5 pm when she borrowed the money. He tried to get me to drop it off to her but was like hell no so she came to his job to get it instead. We were supposed to double date with another couple that same night but they flaked and she text him at around 1 am that she was leaving town earlier than expected he asked me if. Wanted to go see her before she left but I said hell no lol
 
i wish a nucca would ask me some ish like that... seriously i wish he would..Geek
 
Askin me to drop off $20.... man get yo life
 
drop off 2 tens to a broke azz bish that called my man @ 2 am yet can't even fake force a polite smile in my direction?????
 
man listen...when he opened up his mouth to speak those words...that shyt would not be a pretty scene...Stern Smile
 
okaaaayyyyyyyyy... 2 tens , really Stern Smile


Posted By: Addicted19034
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 2:34pm
Your so is a jackass


Posted By: tropical-punch
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 2:40pm
When she go to work you be over here with me.

Girl, what?! o.O


Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 2:40pm
wait what?  @ the red.


Posted By: EasterBell
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 2:48pm
read between the lines... Your issue is not with your so's bff, it's with him..  he was chasing this so called bff and she was trying to keep her distance majority of the time..  If he defending and showing more concern for her, then, yeah, they probably have more than a frienship.. They even probably smashed before..
 
Oh, and she is not trying to be a threesome.. She only wants it to be them.. Pretty much, she ain't trying to be forced into a third wheel situation when they hang out..
 
 
oh, due to that last update you gave, you probably need to get ready to kick him to the curb cause it sounds to me you are a placeholder until he could possibly get with his so-called bff (who doesn't seem too interested in him for real).


Posted By: BeatriceBean
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 2:55pm

Your man is wack, like fo real, fo real



Posted By: sugabanana
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 3:01pm
Tropical you gonna have to quote where that RED came from cos I'm SHOCKED that I missed that!!!!


Posted By: TOUSHA11
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 3:08pm
He playing you and why the Hell he going through your phone. He already knows how you feel about her but he choices to continue to chase her even though she avoiding him. He want her no Man gone chase a woman unless they really want them and what man gone mess up some FO SHO PUS@Y FOR SOME MAYBE PUS@Y UNLESS THEY REALLY WANT THAT WOMAN.You have to let this relationship go unless you enjoy being Hurt because that is they way you will end up.


Posted By: lexis83
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 3:11pm
Originally posted by sugabanana sugabanana wrote:

Tropical you gonna have to quote where that RED came from cos I'm SHOCKED that I missed that!!!!



The fb post

@ u seeing nothing wrong with him going through your phone.


Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 3:21pm
Originally posted by qheenkitty qheenkitty wrote:


On Facebook I wish I could post the convo but the guy said aaaw my girl answered my phone and you told her off telling her I'm yours half the time wtf. She said well you are. When she go to work you be over here with me. He says she gonna dump me. She says good then I get to have you all the time. This was not in a joking way. Ppl we're saying how mean and ratchet she was being and she responded with don't get your man took. Just the week before she was telling everybody how close friends they were then she does and says that on Facebook. I just think its thirsty.
 
oh she was talking about someone else's man...
 
so she just out here reeking havok in multiple niccas homes at the same damn time?  lol


Posted By: freedom76
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 3:24pm
I hope you are doing OK, OP. Let me ask you something....So when was blushing and smirking what did you say? What did he say? Listen, OP...he is going to pull some bu!!shyt out his a$$ like "I was just surprised that you didn't trust me," "or why are you so insecure," "or you are just jealous for no reason." He is going to have to questioning EVERYTHING. Make sure you put that shyt back on him for going through your damn phone. I wish a nicca would EVER! If for some reason you decide to work things out, you need to set boundaries. When he begs for you back (which better be why you even consider it) you tell him his "friendship" with her is DONE...or the relationship with you is DONE.


Posted By: sugabanana
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 3:37pm
The smirk confirmed it all. What her body looking like. Matter of fact I need a pic of what this chick looking like cos she better not be basic after all that LIPO/Gastric!!


Posted By: sugabanana
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 3:39pm
I apologize and scratch that previous message that's the"tendency to be mad at the chick syndrome". Carry on... I need to be mad at buster.


Posted By: Hello! Tsuki
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 3:44pm
Both of them are good-for-nothings, you need to move on OP..... I'd be hurt too if I were in your situation.


Posted By: rell85
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 5:07pm
you sound jealous im sure every1 wants to look good when others see them yall was going to be in a public place, who cares how she treat men she's single having fun, it takes 2.


Posted By: juniper angel
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 6:46pm

i think that girl is playing hard to get that could explain why she is running away then calling to spend time.


Posted By: bunzaveli
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 7:04pm
bhm broke up another happy home ? 


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 7:51pm
sorry to hear about that, op. At least now you know he ain't sh*t.


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 8:04pm
Originally posted by bunzaveli bunzaveli wrote:

bhm broke up another happy home ? 
I told her to let that go pages back.

young hov bouta have your man


Posted By: Princess_S
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 8:33pm
Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

Originally posted by bunzaveli bunzaveli wrote:

bhm broke up another happy home ? 
I told her to let that go pages back.

young hov bouta have your man
iDies.............


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 10:55pm
Tried to tell ya...   smh.


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 11:04pm
He is smiling/smirking because you seem insecure and jealous. Even if he is guilty, that's how you come across. You have just inflated his ego.

And you are more concerned about her and her life...discussing her with your friends, instead of setting boundaries with him.


Posted By: eanaj5
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 11:27pm
OP let him go. I was in a similar situation. Turns out the bitch wanted him the whole time and now they're together. Dont invest anymore time and feelings, drop his ass and find a man that isnt an idiot with a thirsty friend 



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