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My man doesnt want me to work..

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Category: Lets Talk
Forum Name: Relationships
Forum Description: Single, Married, Dating, or Other, Lets Talk About It.
URL: http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=357534
Printed Date: Aug 15 2018 at 8:43am


Topic: My man doesnt want me to work..
Posted By: KottonKandy
Subject: My man doesnt want me to work..
Date Posted: Apr 03 2013 at 12:05am
*Sighs I type a long version and it didn't post. Short version: my man has a great job, but it requires him to travel 85% of the time. Today he told me I should stop working and just travel with him. I do work, but he pays all the bills, so I save my money and the money that he gives me. I wouldn't mind not working, but my account needs some more stacks in it for me to feel comfortable...ya heard me. :) Then also, I tired of always thinking of the what ifs and just want to live in the now. I always, like most of us gals, wanted a man that can take care of me and home..but I don't know what to do. He keeps telling me to really think about it. 

input please...



Replies:
Posted By: missdeeluxe
Date Posted: Apr 03 2013 at 12:10am
Sounds like you'd be more comfortable saving up some before going with him.
Which would be smart regardless because then you have a nest egg (that is, if you don't already).

Personally I wouldn't want to give up my career because I enjoy it and find it fulfilling but whatever will ultimately make you happy.
Traveling could be an awesome experience, and you could always go back if you're unhappy with anything.


Posted By: KottonKandy
Date Posted: Apr 03 2013 at 12:12am
It's not a "career career", but it's a job I don't mind doing, especially since working is more enjoyable since I don't pay any bills lol.  OT: is that you?


Posted By: Flowing-Ice
Date Posted: Apr 03 2013 at 12:35am
i think you need to set up a necessary set of security nets. 
are you guys planning on getting married anytime soon? is common law recognized in your state? 

you sound like you're okay with leaving your job, is there something that you can do part-time to make extra money? or maybe even free-lancing?

a trial run should be in the works. 

personally, i wouldn't do it if i were not married and didn't have the legal protection. 

whatever you choose, have fun. 


Posted By: khivey
Date Posted: Apr 03 2013 at 6:22am
Girl go...have a fun and travel the world with him. What is the worst that can happen? You two break up and you have to go back to the 9-5? Okay...enjoy the moment. Doooooo ittttt! 


Posted By: KottonKandy
Date Posted: Apr 03 2013 at 7:24am
No we aren't no where near close to being married. And he isn't traveling the world yet, just within the US. I can fly out to see him and spend a few days, but he just doesn't want me to work. Yes, there are things I can do on the side. I actually have a lil side hustle of things I do BEFORE I met him. He keeps telling me if I don't work, I can really focus on that. It doesn't bring in any real revenue though...at least not yet. 


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Apr 03 2013 at 12:51pm
If I would do something like that - quit my sh*tty job because a guy wants me to - I would be smart and have plenty of money saved (maybe 20k+) just in case we break up and he leaves me stranded in the middle of nowhere. Especially because I would have to find a new apt, a new job and all those things take time, therefore, more money spent.


Sure, it sounds like a lot of fun, but you have to be careful. Do you know what he does for a living?
How long have you been dating him?
After I watched a show about a woman who was tricked by this guy into taking drugs to Cuba who ended up in prison there for six years, I would be wary of a guy that travels a lot but I dunno what's his business. You sure he's not a criminal?


Posted By: KottonKandy
Date Posted: Apr 03 2013 at 2:04pm
Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

If I would do something like that - quit my sh*tty job because a guy wants me to - I would be smart and have plenty of money saved (maybe 20k+) just in case we break up and he leaves me stranded in the middle of nowhere. Especially because I would have to find a new apt, a new job and all those things take time, therefore, more money spent.


Sure, it sounds like a lot of fun, but you have to be careful. Do you know what he does for a living?
How long have you been dating him?
After I watched a show about a woman who was tricked by this guy into taking drugs to Cuba who ended up in prison there for six years, I would be wary of a guy that travels a lot but I dunno what's his business. You sure he's not a criminal?

NO ma'am, he is not a criminal. I'on mess with those.  He is a legit professional man. Trust me on that lol. Though I know he's not the type to leave me stranded, you really never know. But I just want to do something I've never had the chance to do before. Thanks yall for the input, I will have to think long and hard, but right now I'm leaning more on the NO than yes... 


Posted By: goodm3
Date Posted: Apr 03 2013 at 2:23pm
I wouldn't quit my job (regardless of how non-career it is) until I got married if I were you. 

Girlfriends don't qualify for spousal support.


Posted By: Lady ICE
Date Posted: Apr 03 2013 at 4:05pm
im sure im no help but do you know i would drop EVERYTHING so that i can go travel!! LOL.  i understand your concern, but like someone posted earlier the worst that can happen is that you'd break up and go back to work. lol (in case of a break up make sure you can buy a flight back) but how many get the opportunity to just go and have fun?


im not help like i said. im only thinkin for the moment. psst, ask him if you can bring a friend (me) lmaooo



Posted By: jimmy_rustle
Date Posted: Apr 03 2013 at 4:06pm
You said your man not your husband, what exactly does that mean?

This is a serious power play on his part and even if it was well intended it'll ruin your relationship.  You'll end up being second fiddle and 100% dependent on him.  Travel and meet up with him on weekends if it is that serious.  

The best way to maintain a long lasting relationship is to have your own life and be your own person


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Apr 03 2013 at 4:06pm
Well, if he has a real job and wants to support you, cool, but you can't be sure that eventually, paying everything for two people, will not burden and bother him.
Sounds like you really want to but at the same time you are unsure, perhaps save some extra money before saying yes?


Posted By: jimmy_rustle
Date Posted: Apr 03 2013 at 4:13pm
Originally posted by Lady ICE Lady ICE wrote:

im sure im no help but do you know i would drop EVERYTHING so that i can go travel!! LOL.  i understand your concern, but like someone posted earlier the worst that can happen is that you'd break up and go back to work. lol (in case of a break up make sure you can buy a flight back) but how many get the opportunity to just go and have fun?


im not help like i said. im only thinkin for the moment. psst, ask him if you can bring a friend (me) lmaooo


You cant be serious, this is very short sighted.  When you are a grown ass person working 9-5 to pay the bills your idea of fun does not get to include traveling  every month, sure you can dream about globe trotting but that's all it'll be.  

If this guy is really serious about them being together he'll wife her up, come up with some business she could manage from home or a remote location that way she'll maintain a source of income and they'll be legally tied together.  

This last point has nothing to do with OP's situation but this is how exploitative relationships work, create a dependency, i.e. the woman relies on a man for everything.  He can then tighten the screws on her and ration everything because there is a huge barrier that'll keep her from leaving.    


Posted By: alynxx
Date Posted: Apr 03 2013 at 4:29pm
I would keep my job - I wouldn't trust it without a ring!


Posted By: val48066
Date Posted: Apr 03 2013 at 5:14pm
Originally posted by khivey khivey wrote:

Girl go...have a fun and travel the world with him. What is the worst that can happen? You two break up and you have to go back to the 9-5? Okay...enjoy the moment. Doooooo ittttt! 


I agree. 
Talk to him about your reservations. Tell him you want to be prepared for any eventuality, including the possibility of breaking up. Then tell him you need X amount of money in your personal account to quit your job.  Or have a contract prepared. 


Posted By: Spokenword
Date Posted: Apr 03 2013 at 10:35pm
hmmmm. i mean it does sound tempting. i would love the opportunity to just chill and travel but at the same time you have to think about you.

Do you have enough saved up in case things go left and you have to look for another job? job seeking takes time. perhaps there is a possibility of going back to your current employer?

i don't know where you are in your career or your goals, if you are in a job you want to advance, grow in, etc. 

for me it would depend on the type of relationship we have and our goals/future plans for each other.  if we have been dating a couple of months....no.  if 1-2 years, close relationship, talking future... perhaps.  just want to make sure if you do this, it is with someone you trust. and have a back-up plan. 


Posted By: Lady ICE
Date Posted: Apr 03 2013 at 11:10pm
Originally posted by jimmy_rustle jimmy_rustle wrote:

Originally posted by Lady ICE Lady ICE wrote:

im sure im no help but do you know i would drop EVERYTHING so that i can go travel!! LOL.  i understand your concern, but like someone posted earlier the worst that can happen is that you'd break up and go back to work. lol (in case of a break up make sure you can buy a flight back) but how many get the opportunity to just go and have fun?


im not help like i said. im only thinkin for the moment. psst, ask him if you can bring a friend (me) lmaooo


You cant be serious, this is very short sighted.  When you are a grown ass person working 9-5 to pay the bills your idea of fun does not get to include traveling  every month, sure you can dream about globe trotting but that's all it'll be.  

If this guy is really serious about them being together he'll wife her up, come up with some business she could manage from home or a remote location that way she'll maintain a source of income and they'll be legally tied together.  

This last point has nothing to do with OP's situation but this is how exploitative relationships work, create a dependency, i.e. the woman relies on a man for everything.  He can then tighten the screws on her and ration everything because there is a huge barrier that'll keep her from leaving.    
didnt read your post beyond the first line so let me highlight and quote me " i know im not any help, im only thinking for the moment" Thumbs Up

but now that i scanned a little more. LOL i travel every couple months and with 2 kids, with my bills paid...soooo... i think op can do it to be perfectly honest. but at the end of the day, its her choice not ours.Approve heck her old man could be planning to propose in some awesome location. we dont know.heck i still think she should do it. they are a couple they can talk about pro's and con's, but hey op keep us posted on what you decide to do.


Posted By: khivey
Date Posted: Apr 04 2013 at 6:29am
Originally posted by jimmy_rustle jimmy_rustle wrote:

Originally posted by Lady ICE Lady ICE wrote:

im sure im no help but do you know i would drop EVERYTHING so that i can go travel!! LOL.  i understand your concern, but like someone posted earlier the worst that can happen is that you'd break up and go back to work. lol (in case of a break up make sure you can buy a flight back) but how many get the opportunity to just go and have fun?


im not help like i said. im only thinkin for the moment. psst, ask him if you can bring a friend (me) lmaooo


You cant be serious, this is very short sighted.  When you are a grown ass person working 9-5 to pay the bills your idea of fun does not get to include traveling  every month, sure you can dream about globe trotting but that's all it'll be.  

If this guy is really serious about them being together he'll wife her up, come up with some business she could manage from home or a remote location that way she'll maintain a source of income and they'll be legally tied together.  

This last point has nothing to do with OP's situation but this is how exploitative relationships work, create a dependency, i.e. the woman relies on a man for everything.  He can then tighten the screws on her and ration everything because there is a huge barrier that'll keep her from leaving.    

Maybe because he has been traveling so much because of his work he can't spend the time with her necessary to wife her up and so he asked her to come along so they could be around each other more and get to know each other....I mean...they can have fun getting to know each other right? See, that is the problem...people start to think relationships and get too serious about it and take the fun out of it all. There is nothing wrong with her spending some time traveling around with him. She made it clear she has her own money...I think after a few months or so she would need to go back to work for a few months or get a gig where she can generate income from home. 

True that! I would never move in with a man depending solely on him. It just sounds like he isn't in one place at the moment..which is okay. They are on equal footing..things go wrong she can bounce. Now, if he was talking about moving in with him in his city of residency then that is more serious and yes...things need to be thought out on her end. Just have your own sh* OP. Other than that...you're good. Don't over think it. Keep your mind right Wink




Posted By: Printer_Ink
Date Posted: Apr 04 2013 at 7:33am
Sorry, but in my experience whenever a guy wants his girl to quit working .. it means he wants to control her. PERIOD. Confused And if he’s asked you more than once .. so that tells me he is putting pressure on you too. Not good. He is learning that if he presures you enough ... you will give in.

-          You will relinquish ALL of your personal power over your life. Your savings cannot last forever and you cannot predict when an expense will come up that you want and he does not want you to have so he won’t pay for it. Then what? You will be so like so many other dependent women that have got to put up with S*** because they can’t do it on their own. AGAIN, CANNOT FORTELL THE FUTURE .. anything could happen that would cause you to eat up your savings!! BE SMART! Or you would end up completely dependant on him!!!  So then you have an imbalance of power .. which a lot of men ... LIKE!

-          You say you are not thinking marriage .. so then there not even any protection for you as you know that MOST marriages fail – about 53% and a good portion that survive are miserable but they can’t leave because of the kids, money etc., I would say a 1/3 of marriages at any even time are surviving AND both people are happy

-          Speaking of money .. because you have mentioned this several times.. it is not about who pays the bills – it’s about self-worth and knowing that YOU can take care of yourself. So, no, I was not raised to believe that a man would ‘take care’ of me EXCEPT for emotional and relationship needs. But not financially because I was raised to learn to take care of myself. Every time I hear a reference to a man ‘taking care’ of a woman .. it just makes me cringe.

-          I have worked and traveled in Corporate America and now Corporate Netherlands for almost 30 years and I have NEVER heard of a guy that has his woman quit her Job just so she can trail him from city to city! NEVER

-          So he gets to have his ‘plaything’ follow him around like a puppy. Well, isn’t that nice FOR HIM and, he didn’t even have to marry you. Which means HE’S NOT EVEN COMMITTED TO YOU!!!!!!!

-          What are you gonna do all day when he is at work in that little hotel room? Watch TV, walk the streets. Gets old and LONELY. It's UNPRODUCTIVE! You will lose your mind with nothing to fill your time

- If after a time things fall apart .. HE will have the same nice job, nice house  and men can make babies as long as they can go BOOM BOOM .. but you – you will have nothing substantial. No job – maybe you will be out of the workforce for so long .., you will have trouble getting a job, maybe now you want kids but of course your clock has run out, you will not have any more money/savings left .., and you will have to find new place to live!

See alllll the advantages he has for having you follow him and all the DISADVANTGES for you.

Don’t do it.

If you want him to stay home more so that you can build a REAL LIFE together meaning marriage and kids – tell him. If he says no .. he just want things as they are… then it’s on you to put up with this false life or .. tell him it’s time for you to MOVE ON.

You have to THINK SMART with men. They only want what they can’t get. If I were you .. I would yank a knot in his tail .. by telling him you want to keep your job and your life but since he wants other stuff… you want to start seeing other men. BOOM.

If he loves you .. he will snap out of this BS, adjust his schedule so that he rarely travels and he will MARRY YOU!!!

Stop giving away free milk!



Posted By: KottonKandy
Date Posted: Apr 04 2013 at 8:00am
@khivey True, one of his reasoning is that he wants me around more. See, he's been doing his job for years now and he told me it was hard for him to date, because he's always traveling and most women he's been with had children (he has one as well) and they couldn't take him being away for so long. I don't have kids. 


Posted By: KottonKandy
Date Posted: Apr 04 2013 at 8:21am
@Printer LOL, little hotel room...they're actually a nice size; more than enough room for two people. 
"Plaything"-- Not the case.

But I see where you are coming from. Trust me I understand. 
I hear almost everyday and see from tv, how things can go down when a woman solely depend on a man. I keep plan A, B, and C on deck at all times. :) 


Posted By: Printer_Ink
Date Posted: Apr 04 2013 at 9:12am
Originally posted by KottonKandy KottonKandy wrote:

@khivey True, one of his reasoning is that he wants me around more. See, he's been doing his job for years now and he told me it was hard for him to date, because he's always traveling and most women he's been with had children (he has one as well) and they couldn't take him being away for so long. I don't have kids. 
 
What? He wants you 'around ' because it's hard fot him date with his schedule.  Wake up lady. This is what successful busnessmen do when they have 'an arrangement' with a woman. Confused 
 
They pay her to travel with them. It's call having a 'Traveling Conpanion'. Now THIS I have seen im SPADES over my business travel years.
 
If you are living with him without marriage .. you are giving away the milk for free. How is this anything other than being a plaything? If you LIVE with a man .. you have to be married. Period.
 
If you would run, jump and DROP EVERYTHING for a chance for some free travel DUH! .. you are lowing your value to him and UNTIMATELTY he will tire of a woman that is so easy and look for a challange somewhere else.
 
Men are not like women.
 
Me? I have traveled all over the world (48 countries so far) and PAID for it all by myself. Why? because I have the education (thus the money) and the self-esteem .. to take myself anywhere the heck I want to go. Yes, I work fulltime but if you make smart choices in your career choices you are able to fund any lifestyle you would like.
 
Take a lesson.


Posted By: Printer_Ink
Date Posted: Apr 04 2013 at 9:21am
Originally posted by KottonKandy KottonKandy wrote:

@Printer LOL, little hotel room...they're actually a nice size; more than enough room for two people. 
"Plaything"-- Not the case.

But I see where you are coming from. Trust me I understand. 
I hear almost everyday and see from tv, how things can go down when a woman solely depend on a man. I keep plan A, B, and C on deck at all times. :) 
 
You miss my point.
 
It's a hotel room. Confused
 
It's not gonna have YOUR kitchen and your personsal things in there and you can't pack up your whole house everytime to take a business trip with this guy ..so I don't care how big the hotel room is ... you are gonna be sitting up there alone all day, everyday .. while he off making SOMETHING out of his life. Your only excitement will be to see him coming back every night. Confused 
 
Bird .. gilded cage.
 
Again, Businessmen DO make such arrangements for women to travel with them!. TAKE A HINT. But such women usually have little options in life. They've just gotta go along .. to get along.
 
Do not let him cheapen you in this manner.
 
 


Posted By: KottonKandy
Date Posted: Apr 04 2013 at 10:09am
Printer are you married? kids? I know you are older than me. If you've been at your job for 30 years and I'm just at age 30. I do have a degree, but stopped working in the field I went to school for. The job I have now actually pays more than the job that required me to have a degree. Go figure. You missed the point that I do have a side hustle that I can do from home BEFORE I met him, so I wouldn't just be sitting in a hotel room not being productive. We live together, but aren't married. It's safe to say that I live alone because he isn't here most of the time. He does pay the bills, but I get up and work 4-5 times out the week.  Keep my money in my account. So if push comes to shove, I can afford my own place if needed too. I think you are confusing me with a gold digger or groupie. :)   




Posted By: KottonKandy
Date Posted: Apr 04 2013 at 10:18am
I'm not giving the milk away from free. We are in a relationship though, it's not about what "he can do for me".  I met him out and about minding my own business. Dressed all the way down lol.  I wasn't out scavenger hunting for a business man. By me not having to pay anything, it's allowing me to save my own money.  If I'm going to be sleeping with someone, it may as well be someone like him..right? How I see it, I didn't have to be married to him for him to help me out as much as he is. I'm getting ready to go to work... Cool


Posted By: Printer_Ink
Date Posted: Apr 04 2013 at 1:17pm
I didn't confuse you with a gold digger etc .. I am see you as a (young) woman that is willing to relinquish her personal power .. so she can follow some guy around and give away the milk for free.
 
Why hasn't he asked you to MARRY him? This is telling. You are 'auditioning' for the part of  'wife' - so you've already given up some of your power. Wrong.
 
Almost everytime you post ... you talk about your money.'Your money' can only last but so long so stop talking about your money. Think - big picture here. It is not about your money.  The point is you need to be building something for yourself and this goes beyond the money you have saved in your account.
In the end though ... It's about CONTROL.
 
That's his CONTROL over you and I'm sorry you have overlooked this critical piece of information.
 
I'm talking to you just like I would talk to any young woman living with a man outside of a commitment (marriage) .. hitching her wagon to a guy ... instead of to her own goals.
 
In my experience .. down the line .. it does not end well (for the woman).Dead
 
Now that's the truth.
 
You came in her asking for advice .. and I have given you mine. But (shrugs) do what you want.


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Apr 04 2013 at 5:57pm
Originally posted by KottonKandy KottonKandy wrote:

I'm not giving the milk away from free. We are in a relationship though, it's not about what "he can do for me".  I met him out and about minding my own business. Dressed all the way down lol.  I wasn't out scavenger hunting for a business man. By me not having to pay anything, it's allowing me to save my own money.  If I'm going to be sleeping with someone, it may as well be someone like him..right? How I see it, I didn't have to be married to him for him to help me out as much as he is. I'm getting ready to go to work... Cool


It's cool that you're saving your money now but if you do decide to take off with him and travel, you won't have your job, therefore your money will stop growing. You mentioned the side business that you haven't been working on due to the job you have, but if your side business doesn't work or makes little profit, you are stuck dependent on him.
If you find your life already good the way it is, why stop working to travel after him?
Make the time for the side business while working. That way, you are investing on yourself. If the business takes off and you still feel like traveling with him, do so but only with the guarantee that your new business is a success, so you won't depend on him.

But I do agree with Printer_Ink that the best is to not travel with him around the country.


Posted By: missdeeluxe
Date Posted: Apr 04 2013 at 7:25pm
Originally posted by KottonKandy KottonKandy wrote:

It's not a "career career", but it's a job I don't mind doing, especially since working is more enjoyable since I don't pay any bills lol.  OT: is that you?

Well, you could take a small leave of absence lol.
Like go for a few months and then come back.
It does sound too good to be true tbh but if your man can make it happen then ya'll go have fun! LOL

And yes it is.


Posted By: Tbaby
Date Posted: Apr 05 2013 at 12:23am
IA w/ printer ink on this issue.  Get a ring then do your thing.

 Until then keep your job/career and fly out to meet him from time to time.


Posted By: beebeexx
Date Posted: Apr 09 2013 at 1:04pm
smh at some of the responses.
but I don't really see what you have to lose...
if your situation is such that if the relationship were to end maybe 6 months from now and you had to suddenly pack your things and start over... would you be devastated and the answer is no... do it. have fun and travel.

if you don't like it let him know you want to go back to how things were before.
the way I see it you can't live life based on if things can go wrong. anything can go wrong at any time for any reason. I feel like its more important to make a decision based on a. does it make you happy and b. will you be Abe to emotionally/financially be able to handle it if it does go wrong.

I really don't understand what marriage has to do with any f this btw...


Posted By: Printer_Ink
Date Posted: Apr 12 2013 at 6:26am
Wow.. you don't see what marriage has to do with any of this? And you don't see what she has to lose? Geesh I explained that.
Wow... 
 


Posted By: Prazol60
Date Posted: Apr 12 2013 at 10:43am
Without a ring on my finger I am not going anywhere 


Posted By: IslandSuga
Date Posted: Apr 12 2013 at 1:40pm
Personally I wouldn't do it. You didn't mention marriage, and you're already living together. He pays the bills and now he wants you to quit your job and travel with him. If you're already living together, has marriage been discussed? Why is he so pressed for you to quit your job anyway? If it's just about spending time together you can travel to see him from time to time. I don't see an issue with that.


Posted By: Printer_Ink
Date Posted: Apr 12 2013 at 2:58pm
Well, because men get LONELY on the road.
They are like dogs. You cannot leave enough food and water for a dog and go away for a few days. He flip out and tear up your house. But women are like cats. You can leave them with food and water and they will entertain themselves for those few days just fine.
 
Men get tired of dinner alone in a hotel room and not having sex every night etc. No, they will avoid the room because they don't have anything to do.
 
It's easier for women because after a hard day at work, I cannot wait to get back to the hotel so I can soak my aching feet, wash or DO my hair, buff off my nails, give myself a face mask etc and all the while enjoying a nice glass of wine and a nice dinner from room service while I watch a movie. Then a woman is gonna want to play in email or call a friend and talk .. read a good book and the next thing you know you have to hit the sack so that you can get up early enough to get your makeup on and get your hair to act right with that odd hotel hair dryer etc so that you can go out there and kick A*** all over again. BEEN THERE! Hee hee!
 
But .. men aren't like this. Noo. Women are STRONGER than men. Duh!
 
That guy would like her around so he won't have to find female company etc he can get sex every night just the way he likes it, he can have someone to eat with etc. He is not in any way interested in her well-being. It's all about him.
 
If he was interested in what's best for her ... he would be worried that she will lose her source of income if she drops everything and follows him around like a puppy. He would be THINKING ABOUT HER FUTURE and what's best for HER!
 
That's what love is and that's why you gonna get married so you have society and the law to compensate you for any loss and ensure you benifit from all the good stuff.
 
Again, he wants her to relinquish everything but does not even have the backbone to make a real committment to her. (MARRIAGE). So when things go sideways .. and likely they will.. he can wash his hands of her and be on his merry way and she will have nothing. I've seen it.
 
A (smart) girl has got to protect herself.
 
 


Posted By: goodm3
Date Posted: Apr 12 2013 at 3:03pm
Originally posted by KottonKandy KottonKandy wrote:

@Printer LOL, little hotel room...they're actually a nice size; more than enough room for two people. 
"Plaything"-- Not the case.

But I see where you are coming from. Trust me I understand. 
I hear almost everyday and see from tv, how things can go down when a woman solely depend on a man. I keep plan A, B, and C on deck at all times. :) 

LOL how you gonna keep plan A, B and C on deck when you're always with him. You can't apply for a better job because you're going to be home. You can't even go get graduate degree at a decent school. and the fact that you don't even understand why we are telling you that you need to be married is truly sad.
 
your plan is... A$$ out on the Street, Betta call my momma, because he cut the Cash off

chile boo. 


Posted By: KottonKandy
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 7:38am
I'm on the road with him now. We are having a blast, just for the week though. My plan A, B, C is mainly about how I can keep cash coming in (legally, no whorish activities) if I decide to take a leave of absence from my job. :)


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Apr 16 2013 at 3:57pm
go for it! have fun.
(didn't read thread though)


Posted By: Printer_Ink
Date Posted: Apr 17 2013 at 8:16am
Good luck then.


Posted By: khivey
Date Posted: Apr 17 2013 at 8:42am
Originally posted by KottonKandy KottonKandy wrote:

I'm on the road with him now. We are having a blast, just for the week though. My plan A, B, C is mainly about how I can keep cash coming in (legally, no whorish activities) if I decide to take a leave of absence from my job. :)

And that is what's up...have fun and enjoy. No thinking too much into it.  Just go with the flow...until you no longer are with the flow LOL Life goes onWink


Posted By: AfricanLove1415
Date Posted: Apr 18 2013 at 4:27pm
lucky lucky women


Posted By: Spokenword
Date Posted: Apr 18 2013 at 4:46pm
Originally posted by KottonKandy KottonKandy wrote:

I'm on the road with him now. We are having a blast, just for the week though. My plan A, B, C is mainly about how I can keep cash coming in (legally, no whorish activities) if I decide to take a leave of absence from my job. :)

yay! this seems like the fun and safe way to do it. have fun!!



Posted By: Beauty620
Date Posted: Apr 22 2013 at 5:12pm
Originally posted by khivey khivey wrote:

Girl go...have a fun and travel the world with him. What is the worst that can happen? You two break up and you have to go back to the 9-5? Okay...enjoy the moment. Doooooo ittttt! 

I totally agree....Doooooo itttttt! You only have 1 life to live, you can always get that 9-5 back. Besides who wouldn't want to just kick back, relax and enjoy life to the fullest. I wish! take advantage of what your man has to offer. Don't be stuck working then when things don't turn out right you'll be that would of could of should of person.

So Do it! And Enjoy your life :-)
I wisssshhhhhhhh! 


Posted By: prettynaturallyme
Date Posted: Apr 26 2013 at 11:22am
Ill say this. I currently do not work as a result of my fiancés job. Girl if you have a side hustle, definitely do it. Don't let him be the main source of income for you. Everything you make, save. Spend his money. Bc as you said, at the end of the day, he could drop you and you'll be looking crazy. Also, wrk it out with him so that he gives you a certain amount of money every month (allowance) that is set up as autopay to your bank account so that you don't have to ask him for shat!! And also so you won't be sitting up looking crazy with no money which will lead to an argument. I mean after all, it was his idea for you to leave your job, not yours so that's the least he can do. But finally, the most important thing is to have fun and enjoy life while you're young! Good luck :)


Posted By: Printer_Ink
Date Posted: Apr 30 2013 at 3:49pm
Originally posted by prettynaturallyme prettynaturallyme wrote:

Ill say this. I currently do not work as a result of my fiancés job. Girl if you have a side hustle, definitely do it. Don't let him be the main source of income for you. Everything you make, save. Spend his money. Bc as you said, at the end of the day, he could drop you and you'll be looking crazy. Also, wrk it out with him so that he gives you a certain amount of money every month (allowance) that is set up as autopay to your bank account so that you don't have to ask him for shat!! And also so you won't be sitting up looking crazy with no money which will lead to an argument. I mean after all, it was his idea for you to leave your job, not yours so that's the least he can do. But finally, the most important thing is to have fun and enjoy life while you're young! Good luck :)
 
That what I told her this but she is off anyway... and all of these young,foolish and powerless females are encouraging her. Confused 
 
Geesh, there must be a million ways to have fun and enjoy your life without relinquishing your personal power. Stupid.
 
This is an extremely short-sighted view of life but ... she will just have to learn the hard way.


Posted By: KottonKandy
Date Posted: May 02 2013 at 6:52pm
Originally posted by prettynaturallyme prettynaturallyme wrote:

Ill say this. I currently do not work as a result of my fiancés job. Girl if you have a side hustle, definitely do it. Don't let him be the main source of income for you. Everything you make, save. Spend his money. Bc as you said, at the end of the day, he could drop you and you'll be looking crazy. Also, wrk it out with him so that he gives you a certain amount of money every month (allowance) that is set up as autopay to your bank account so that you don't have to ask him for shat!! And also so you won't be sitting up looking crazy with no money which will lead to an argument. I mean after all, it was his idea for you to leave your job, not yours so that's the least he can do. But finally, the most important thing is to have fun and enjoy life while you're young! Good luck :)

He will be the main source, but not the only source. I have one of his cards with the pin. Every week or two, I take something out and deposit it in my bank account. I don't go overboard though. :) Just a little something here and there. I haven't use my own money to buy anything in a loooooooong time. 


Posted By: KottonKandy
Date Posted: May 02 2013 at 7:06pm
@printer

You are so determined that I don't know what I'm doing. With all these bum dudes out here, I happen to find one that doesn't mind doing things for me and being the man. Who am I not to let him? If I came on here saying I've been cheated on, I'm pregnant by a deadbeat, etc you probably would be more uplifting.  Most woman want to be taken care of even the ones who can take care of themselves. 


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: May 03 2013 at 1:41am
Is he aware that you are taking some money out of his account?
One thing is using the card for purchases, another is taking money out.



Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: May 03 2013 at 1:52am
Damn I gotta agree with Printer lol


Posted By: Allure.
Date Posted: May 06 2013 at 12:15am
I say go for it! Enjoy your chance to travel. If things don't work out with him, u have your money cushion to fall back on until u find another job


Posted By: Tbaby
Date Posted: May 06 2013 at 10:03am
Originally posted by KottonKandy KottonKandy wrote:

Originally posted by prettynaturallyme prettynaturallyme wrote:

Ill say this. I currently do not work as a result of my fiancés job. Girl if you have a side hustle, definitely do it. Don't let him be the main source of income for you. Everything you make, save. Spend his money. Bc as you said, at the end of the day, he could drop you and you'll be looking crazy. Also, wrk it out with him so that he gives you a certain amount of money every month (allowance) that is set up as autopay to your bank account so that you don't have to ask him for shat!! And also so you won't be sitting up looking crazy with no money which will lead to an argument. I mean after all, it was his idea for you to leave your job, not yours so that's the least he can do. But finally, the most important thing is to have fun and enjoy life while you're young! Good luck :)

He will be the main source, but not the only source. I have one of his cards with the pin. Every week or two, I take something out and deposit it in my bank account. I don't go overboard though. :) Just a little something here and there. I haven't use my own money to buy anything in a loooooooong time. 


Honestly, you should let him know you are doing this...otherwise basically you are stealing his money.  You might not see it that way, but he might, if he finds out.  Relationships are about trust and transparency, not getting over on the other. 

Besides you said had your own source of income (plan A, B, and c) and weren't sitting around in the hotel room doing nothing--why do you have to sneak out his money, if he's already paying for everything? 




Posted By: Prazol60
Date Posted: May 06 2013 at 10:13am
Get married, taking money out of his account without him knowing about it is stealing since you are just a girlfriend. Have his bank give you a bankpass so you can use it to buy stuff for yourself and home as needed.

I thought you had a job you could do it home?


Posted By: KottonKandy
Date Posted: May 06 2013 at 10:46am
I'm not stealing lol. He gave me one of his bank cards to do whatever I want to do. I'll prefer to have cash at times, because at the end of the day it's not my card. Though I do have his written permission to use his card and he gave me his account number etc. So if I withdraw cash, I will put some in my account. It's the American way lol. Besides, he check his statements and he told me long ago that he knows everything I spend and he said it's okay. I know I'm not married to him and I don't go overboard with his money. An older friend told me to wait til I'm married to him and then go overboard lol. But seriously, if I want to make "big" purchase on something I always ask him, even though I know he will say yes. 


Posted By: KottonKandy
Date Posted: May 06 2013 at 10:49am
And I did say what I can do from home may not bring in big bucks at the moment. But I still have a source of income coming in. 


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: May 06 2013 at 1:09pm
are you having fun?
did you quit your job or is it just a temporary getaway from it all?


Posted By: KottonKandy
Date Posted: May 06 2013 at 2:14pm
Having a ball. I didn't quit yet, but I'm working a lot less. 


Posted By: khivey
Date Posted: May 17 2013 at 9:14am
I hope you are spending some of that money you are taking out on him as well. Also, it would be wise to treat him as well with your own money. Keep some sort of power balance;0) Glad you are having a ball. 


Posted By: Printer_Ink
Date Posted: May 17 2013 at 3:21pm
Originally posted by KottonKandy KottonKandy wrote:

@printer

You are so determined that I don't know what I'm doing. With all these bum dudes out here, I happen to find one that doesn't mind doing things for me and being the man. Who am I not to let him? If I came on here saying I've been cheated on, I'm pregnant by a deadbeat, etc you probably would be more uplifting.  Most woman want to be taken care of even the ones who can take care of themselves. 
Yes, you have just made my point.
 
What? Because he's not a bum ... it's okay to let him make you into his w****? DUH! Your bar is set too low if that is your standard. Confused You have to require more of a relationship.
 
If you came on here and said you've been cheated on and now you are pregnant by a deadbeat ... I would tell you to have an abortion. Period. Otherwise you will end up having a hard life .. living off the crumbs that someone elses tosses you for the rest of your life.  Ouch
 
He is not 'taking care of you' .. you are living off him just like any dumb chick would do that has nothing of her own ... not even a flippin MARRIAGE LICENCE.
 
If he was being the man .. he would MARRY YOU! Period. That is what men do. When you are married, he will put you on his life insurance policy so that if anything happens to him - you will be well taken care of. He will also have you on his Health care plan so if you come down with something bad .. you will be covered - things like this. When you are married this says - he is committed to you and he will do things that look out for YOUR BEST INTEREST - not his!
 
What ... are we all stupid? How come everybody else knows this but you? How come you don't address this point? Because you KNOW he likes you well enough to talk you into quiting your job so that you can follow him around like a little puppy. But he does NOT like you enough to 'put a ring on it'. DUH!
 
I am telling you the truth just like I would tell my child if I had one. I would tell her NOT to let a man buy her. Do npt accept mone from men outside of marriage. It's cheap.


Posted By: Printer_Ink
Date Posted: May 17 2013 at 3:36pm
Originally posted by KottonKandy KottonKandy wrote:

I'm not stealing lol. He gave me one of his bank cards to do whatever I want to do. I'll prefer to have cash at times, because at the end of the day it's not my card. Though I do have his written permission to use his card and he gave me his account number etc. So if I withdraw cash, I will put some in my account. It's the American way lol. Besides, he check his statements and he told me long ago that he knows everything I spend and he said it's okay. I know I'm not married to him and I don't go overboard with his money. An older friend told me to wait til I'm married to him and then go overboard lol. But seriously, if I want to make "big" purchase on something I always ask him, even though I know he will say yes. 
 
This is the way the women I told you about live. DUH!
 
They have an 'arrangement' with a businessman that has them trail him from city to city .. to keep him company so they get a special atm card so they can take out what they need. Hee Hee! They put away his money too. Why? Because they know it's gonna end one day.Confused
 
This is another form of prostitution. DUH!
 
Let me give you the clue that you have missed. Shocked If you are in a REAL relationship, you know all his bank accounts, where is spends his money, his bills, what he gets paid - EVERYTHING. It is a SHARING of 2 lives so you know about everything he has and he knows about your money your bills etc. too and you sit down and work out a budget TOGETHER like a real couple.
 
Everytime you speak about this situation (and how much short-sighted fun you are having).. it sounds worse and worse.
 
Him giving you a bank card so that you can pull a bit out now and then .... and squirrel it away in your own account means you are on the outside - same as an employee. He is compensating you for your time. This is not how relationships work. It's all about money with you I think so maybe this arrangement is what you want in the end. Well, that and some free trips. Duh!  Sorry but... what would be the reason for him to marry you and make this real and permanent?
 
None.  You'll see what I mean though. I have watched such arrangements with my busnessmen co-workers for years and years. Please .. all that will happen is that you will become more and more dependant on these handouts.When things go south .. it will be over and he will hook up with someone else and POOF - next thing you know, he will be married to her.
 
In your case though you won't be able to say ... 'nobody tried to warn you'.
 


Posted By: KottonKandy
Date Posted: May 20 2013 at 4:25am
O.o It's not all about the money. You seem to keep thinking that because I'm not married it's not real. So every couple that's not married have a fake relationship now?    Your profession and the things you've seen in your life seem to have you scarred.  I'm assuming you never was married and you said you don't have children. Did a guy cheat on you with a female on "arrangement". What if I don't have that same aspirations to be married or have kids too. :O) We are  REAL bf/gf. I didn't just meet him a month ago and then he asked me to quit my job. He's been traveling, but it was only recently he wanted me to quit my job. He's been taking care of the house, been giving me money to do me, I've been had access to his cards. But I still have my job. My only concern was if I wanted to rely on him completely. Since I've known him, I always worked. I've been going places with him, but never for too long, because I worked full time. You acting like he put an ad out on craigslist looking for a sugar baby and I was picked or something. The only thing that's new, is that he wants me to quit my job and travel with him ALL the time, not some of the time.  He's away doing his work and I'm at home now because I still have a job to do. And when I said I have written permission, I'm not saying we type up some kind of deal lol. He told me I can use the card and gave me two of his bank account numbers through text.


Posted By: KottonKandy
Date Posted: May 20 2013 at 4:38am
So that just means I have proof lol. Because I'm his real gf, I go get his reimbursement checks from his office here. His secretary gives me the check. I then go deposit his money in his accounts. He trust me enough with doing so. I'm his real girl after all.  Everything I'm doing on my end is legit. You seem to keep bringing up "well, you arent married". Well neither are you. And before you say 'you don't need a man to take care of you': I'm allowing someone to do things for me because he wants too, I don't NEED him to do it. If things don't work out between us, I'll still be fine. Anyway, I keep saying the same things. Yes, I buy him things. He comes home to a clean house, food prepared, house needs fully stocked, etc... I'm done.. I know what it is on my end. I can't and won't, nor care to try to convince someone of a relationship I have. 


Posted By: Printer_Ink
Date Posted: May 20 2013 at 10:37am
You keep embelishing your story in an effort to counteract whatever I am telling you. Hee Hee! Who do you think you are fooling?
Bottom line. Until you are MARRIED and have the weight of society, the law and his public acknowledgement that you are his partner for life ... all the rest of this stuff is just smoke and mirrors.
 
It's your life though so you can tell yourself anything that make you feel comfortable, but you will have to find out the hard way.
 
Good luck.


Posted By: DarkestBeauty
Date Posted: May 24 2013 at 11:06am

Be smart save your money keep making money and have fun bhm got some real haters man. Dont depend on a man but marry him? Oh okay. Advice or hate whatever people call it live your life and enjoy happiness and keep yourself first. But for just a easier way of saying things on here dont boast too much about a man's money women with no men hate that lol



Posted By: Printer_Ink
Date Posted: May 24 2013 at 3:12pm
What?
Clearly another woman that can't make her own on way in the world either and has to depend on a man for her 'money' too. hee hee!
 
Wake up women! Get an education and build your own career and make your own money so that you can have any man you want.
 
 .. but you don't have to depend on a man for money and free trips so that you end up in a bad way.


Posted By: DarkestBeauty
Date Posted: Jun 07 2013 at 10:24am
Didn't this woman mention that she has an education and her own money. Like seriously women nowadays need to relax and let a man be a man. It's okay for a man that loves you to do nice things for you. I have two degrees working on two more working on my business opening up pretty soon and I will let my man take me places sheesh. I mean some people are truly in love and happy sometimes despite what so many may think there are some pretty amazing people out there that love each other geniunely. Chivalry isn't dead us women are just afraid of it because we have been hurt by men so many times. Most women get proposed to on trips so be ready Kotton Kandy. Y'all need to let that hurt go love is real and its out there!!!!!! 


Posted By: Printer_Ink
Date Posted: Jun 07 2013 at 3:50pm
Geesh, your situation and the OP's situation .. are not the same thing.
 
There is nothing wrong with your boyfriend taking you on a trip but the OP said she does not have a 'career'.. she has a 'job' though which means limited education in my book.
 
Her boyfriend is pressuring her to quit that lil'job that she has so that she can follow him around like a puppy from week to week and city to city on business trips. DUH!
 
I wonder what can go wrong with THIS plan?
 
I have tried to explain this mistake so that she does not end up like the rest of these foolish women that settle for crumbs ... but all she can talk about is the 'money' he gives her. Stupid .. same as prostitution.
 
Maybe this all she feels he deserves .. free trips and access to his ATM account. :0 
 
Whatever .. I have tried.
 


Posted By: khivey
Date Posted: Jun 13 2013 at 1:08am
a smart woman can do whatever she wants out in this world


Posted By: Printer_Ink
Date Posted: Jun 13 2013 at 2:29am
That is correct.
 
A smart woman will set herself up such that .. all she has to do is to crook her little finger and all of life's abundance ... will fall into her lap for her to pick and choose.
 
But this has absolutely NOTHING  to do with a man.


Posted By: khivey
Date Posted: Jun 13 2013 at 2:56am
Printer_Ink...do your cartridges ever run out? If this were the NBA, you'd be the most dominate player in the paint...you go so hard boo lol What do you have invested in this girl's life? 


Posted By: Brjasuga51
Date Posted: Jun 13 2013 at 8:30am
Originally posted by khivey khivey wrote:

Printer_Ink...do your cartridges ever run out? If this were the NBA, you'd be the most dominate player in the paint...you go so hard boo lol What do you have invested in this girl's life? 
LOLLOLLOLLOL...girllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll


Posted By: Morris Chestnuts
Date Posted: Jun 14 2013 at 1:29am
Originally posted by khivey khivey wrote:

Printer_Ink...do your cartridges ever run out? If this were the NBA, you'd be the most dominate player in the paint...you go so hard boo lol What do you have invested in this girl's life? 


Printer Ink actually told her auto-biography on here a while ago and I remember it clearly. I'll share it with u now.

Women like Printer Ink don't like women who have men that want to take care of them. U see, Printer Ink is an older woman from the Civil Rights Movement era who was told to stay in the office and write articles while the men went out to march and get bit by police dogs. Printer Ink saw this as disrespect, when it was just the men realizing how dangerous it was out there and how she needed to stay safe inside. But Printer Ink saw this as a man trying to tell her what to do and how she can't be a leader. Soon, the black feminist movement came and swept the country. Printer Ink saw this as a chance to do what ever she wanted in life "without needing no man". She became "independent" and raised her kids on her own. So now in the year 2013, she tries to instill this mentality in younger women.


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Aug 26 2013 at 2:19pm
Are you still with him?


Posted By: creole booty
Date Posted: Aug 27 2013 at 1:31pm
Sounds like he wants u to b a sugar baby. That's fun when ur young and single! Yay for u

Printer ink, I still agree with u. Everything u said was true.

However, if op is cool with the arrangement (and control that comes from the arrangement maker. And these guys do like monogamy, especially paying for a girlfriend because of everything printer ink mentioned) I'm cool with it too. Just be safe as I'm sure u are.


Posted By: EasterBell
Date Posted: Aug 27 2013 at 3:31pm
Sure hate I missed this thread... Yeah, I wouldn't dropped everything to go travel with a male, especially if he ain't my husband. Dude dangled a fishing line and OP took the bait. She basically showed that dude that she ain't really got a life of her own and she will just follow his lead..


Posted By: Printer_Ink
Date Posted: Aug 29 2013 at 6:16pm
Originally posted by creole booty creole booty wrote:

Sounds like he wants u to b a sugar baby. That's fun when ur young and single! Yay for u

Printer ink, I still agree with u. Everything u said was true.

However, if op is cool with the arrangement (and control that comes from the arrangement maker. And these guys do like monogamy, especially paying for a girlfriend because of everything printer ink mentioned) I'm cool with it too. Just be safe as I'm sure u are.
 
But that is my point.
 
She doesn't think this is an 'arrangement' or that she is just having fun .. she specifically says otherwise and that this is love and the he is just 'taking care' of her. Blah, blah, blah.
 
My point (which she avoids again and again) is that ... if he is really looking out for you .. then he would be doing things that are best for you .. not what's best for him. That's love. Number one on that list would be marriage so that he can share everything he has with her (not just the one ATM he gives her), have life insurance .. the works. That is taking care of the woman you love. Duh.
 
Some women are so willing to settle for crumbs when they could have the whole cake.
 
She will end up like that woman on the other thread that was living with a guy for 25 years, had kids, etc but they never got married because he did not believe in marriage. Then one day out the blue - he moved out and married some other woman and left her and the kids with nothing. That was her own darn fault for settling.
 
Stupid.
 
A girl's gotta watch out for herself in this world.Confused


Posted By: KottonKandy
Date Posted: Sep 16 2013 at 8:56pm
Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

Are you still with him?


yes...everything is still the same...


Posted By: KottonKandy
Date Posted: Sep 16 2013 at 8:58pm
Originally posted by DarkestBeauty DarkestBeauty wrote:

Be smart save your money keep making money and have fun bhm got some real haters man. Dont depend on a man but marry him? Oh okay. Advice or hate whatever people call it live your life and enjoy happiness and keep yourself first. But for just a easier way of saying things on here dont boast too much about a man's money women with no men hate that lol


Embarrassed


Posted By: KottonKandy
Date Posted: Sep 16 2013 at 9:00pm
Originally posted by khivey khivey wrote:

Printer_Ink...do your cartridges ever run out? If this were the NBA, you'd be the most dominate player in the paint...you go so hard boo lol What do you have invested in this girl's life? 

LOL..I wish she would spill some water on her laptop... 


Posted By: KottonKandy
Date Posted: Sep 16 2013 at 9:13pm
Originally posted by DarkestBeauty DarkestBeauty wrote:

Didn't this woman mention that she has an education and her own money. Like seriously women nowadays need to relax and let a man be a man. It's okay for a man that loves you to do nice things for you. I have two degrees working on two more working on my business opening up pretty soon and I will let my man take me places sheesh. I mean some people are truly in love and happy sometimes despite what so many may think there are some pretty amazing people out there that love each other geniunely. Chivalry isn't dead us women are just afraid of it because we have been hurt by men so many times. Most women get proposed to on trips so be ready Kotton Kandy. Y'all need to let that hurt go love is real and its out there!!!!!! 

Yes, there was a time looooooong ago that I didn't feel like I was deserving of someone who can do for me. All my life I had to do things on my own and was made to feel that way. Once I got in the mindset that I am worthy of having a man who doesn't mind providing (not just in a man, but life in general, I'm worthy of having a "good" life), I started naturally meeting men who saw my worthiness. 

yes, you are right. I've learned just to let people think what they want. I don't try to sound like I'm boasting. People on here don't "know" me. Offline, I NEVER ever discussed what I have to anyone. 


Posted By: QueenBee
Date Posted: Sep 16 2013 at 9:22pm
KottonKandy-- Do it.  You have the rest of your life to work and pay for your own.  If you want to have fun and travel with your man, do it. 


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Sep 17 2013 at 3:22pm
Originally posted by KottonKandy KottonKandy wrote:


Yes, there was a time looooooong ago that I didn't feel like I was deserving of someone who can do for me. All my life I had to do things on my own and was made to feel that way. Once I got in the mindset that I am worthy of having a man who doesn't mind providing (not just in a man, but life in general, I'm worthy of having a "good" life), I started naturally meeting men who saw my worthiness. 



Interesting.
You attracted what you thought = you were worth of love, attention and being spoiled LOL, and then you got men who wanted to give you that.

It makes sense why some women only meet an abusive man after another...because they don't know their self-worth.


So are you still traveling with him or did you guys settle in some city?
What about your side hustle, are you still doing it?


Posted By: KottonKandy
Date Posted: Sep 17 2013 at 3:33pm
Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

Originally posted by KottonKandy KottonKandy wrote:


Yes, there was a time looooooong ago that I didn't feel like I was deserving of someone who can do for me. All my life I had to do things on my own and was made to feel that way. Once I got in the mindset that I am worthy of having a man who doesn't mind providing (not just in a man, but life in general, I'm worthy of having a "good" life), I started naturally meeting men who saw my worthiness. 



Interesting.
You attracted what you thought = you were worth of love, attention and being spoiled LOL, and then you got men who wanted to give you that.

It makes sense why some women only meet an abusive man after another...because they don't know their self-worth.


So are you still traveling with him or did you guys settle in some city?
What about your side hustle, are you still doing it?


yes to everything...having a ball. It's interesting how the mind works right...lol


Posted By: sexyandfamous
Date Posted: Sep 17 2013 at 3:36pm
Did you read The Secret?
it talks about how what you believe, you attract.


Posted By: KottonKandy
Date Posted: Sep 18 2013 at 12:02am
Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

Did you read The Secret?
it talks about how what you believe, you attract.

I haven't, but I will check it out....


Posted By: NaturalSister543
Date Posted: Mar 23 2014 at 11:39am
I would not quit, never completely depend on a man. Continue to work and save your money.


Posted By: Petty LaBelle
Date Posted: Mar 23 2014 at 4:25pm
Originally posted by goodm3 goodm3 wrote:

I wouldn't quit my job (regardless of how non-career it is) until I got married if I were you. 

Girlfriends don't qualify for spousal support.


FACTS



Posted By: Twisted_Angel
Date Posted: Apr 28 2014 at 2:50pm
IA


I had a guy like this in the past...

idk felt like some control thing...

I wouldn't do it


Posted By: AriesBabe09
Date Posted: May 02 2014 at 1:32pm
Originally posted by Twisted_Angel Twisted_Angel wrote:

IA


I had a guy like this in the past...

idk felt like some control thing...

I wouldn't do it


IA...

I wouldn't stop working and it does sound a tad bit controlling


Posted By: *M. Gurl *
Date Posted: May 03 2014 at 11:23am
I agree with printer on some things...I don't see the harm in travelling with your man but don't quit the job yet. And as long as you both know what it is between you guys, there's nothing wrong with what you're doing.


Posted By: Twisted_Angel
Date Posted: May 03 2014 at 11:58am
Well...my man wanted me to go from FT to PT..cuz he feels like I do too much and wants me to depend on him more.. we had a big discussion about it cuz I thought he meant he wanted me to stop working too...and my answer would of been um hell naw negro..

But even after im married I couldn't depend on a man 100%..(80% would be the most for me).I know it sounds harsh but I would keep a small bank account on the side because I am happy and in love, but you never know what the future holds...

I don't think you should ever give up EVERYTHING, because you have a man..


Posted By: Twisted_Angel
Date Posted: May 03 2014 at 12:01pm
Originally posted by Petty LaBelle Petty LaBelle wrote:

Originally posted by goodm3 goodm3 wrote:

I wouldn't quit my job (regardless of how non-career it is) until I got married if I were you. 

Girlfriends don't qualify for spousal support.


<font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif">FACTS



For real.



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