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How to end a friendship

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Category: Lets Talk
Forum Name: Talk, Talk, and More Talk
Forum Description: In this Forum, the talk is about everything that can be talked about.
URL: http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=354908
Printed Date: Aug 18 2018 at 7:03pm


Topic: How to end a friendship
Posted By: AwesomeAries
Subject: How to end a friendship
Date Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 7:46am
If one of your friends does something to you to really betray your trust. You talk to them about it and they just don't seem to get it. You have been friends with this person 7 years +
Is it wrong just to stop talking to them?
Don't answer calls or text messages?
Just a note the last time I tried to stop talking to this person they had an emotional fit, took my keys out my car and pretty much held me hostage.
I'm just trying to go about this in an adult way.



Replies:
Posted By: niecy
Date Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 7:50am
No, it's not wrong. Especially if you already talked to the person about the issue and they still don't see what they did wrong


Posted By: ShadyLady
Date Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 8:02am
Ignoring a person is not bad if you know for a fact that they'll be irrational if you try to cut them off verbally.

I have no problem ignoring people when I don't wanna be bothered with them anymore. I can show em better than I can tell em.


Posted By: Guidette
Date Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 8:04am
Just did someone like that and told her I was done with her ass...Never felt better....Aint nobody got time for that......


Posted By: eanaj5
Date Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 8:05am
tf? Does she know where you live?
Im sorry to say but this could get very ugly...
But to answer ur question, I dont have a problem ignoring people i no long wish to associate with


Posted By: AwesomeAries
Date Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 8:07am
I just feel so bad for this person. I don't know if they had a nervous break down or what but they literally held me hostage, and even after all the mess they caused they can't see the problem. This person already has abandonment issues. Idk I was taught to try to talk your problems out but I can't deal with crazy.


Posted By: AwesomeAries
Date Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 8:09am
Originally posted by eanaj5 eanaj5 wrote:

tf? Does she know where you live?
Im sorry to say but this could get very ugly...
But to answer ur question, I dont have a problem ignoring people i no long wish to associate with




Thankfully she hasn't been to my new place. I am serious she took my keys and retreated into her house. It took me 20+ minutes to get them back.


Posted By: eanaj5
Date Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 8:13am
So is this normal for her in the 7 years yall been friends?
Has she been to therapy?
Maybe you should suggest she goes or talk to one of her family members you know to get her to go...
cuz that aint normal Stern Smile


Posted By: AwesomeAries
Date Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 8:16am
No it's not normal she has never done this before. I was just happy she did not throw them out the window.


Posted By: tatee
Date Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 8:18am
Originally posted by AwesomeAries AwesomeAries wrote:


Just a note the last time I tried to stop talking to this person they had an emotional fit, took my keys out my car and pretty much held me hostage.
 

Stern Smile
i need the backstory behind this statement. this is thread unto itselfLOL


Posted By: eanaj5
Date Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 8:21am
maybe you can change ur number and call her from *67 and tell her why u dont want to be friends anymore.

That way she can only yell and cuss u out.

But do yall live in the same town? have mutual friends?
What if she tries to follow u home?
Are u prepared to take it to the police if it goes there?


Posted By: James Avery
Date Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 8:26am
i need more deets. 7 years is a long time in terms of friendships nowadays. i wouldn't be so quick to throw that bond away over something we can fix tbh.


Posted By: beebeexx
Date Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 8:29am
I would just tell her that you guys need a break. especially if it's just over one incident...
now if she has a 7 year history of being toxic that's another thing

but I've learned some people don't get things overnight. I cut a friend off once and in a conversation we had with him trying to "win" me back (so to speak) he brought up something I said to him moooooonths ago. something I thought was basic and felt I shouldn't have had to essentially beg for. but it took him that long to get it.

so IMO take a step back, let her know you need some space and in the meanwhile she should really take some time to think about the situation (whatever that may be) and work on herself as well.


Posted By: AwesomeAries
Date Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 8:30am
Eanaj we are about an hour away
We are both busy so not really the same circle of friends
I don't really think I could call the police on her tbh. I would hate to do that to a friend.


Posted By: AwesomeAries
Date Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 8:33am
James she had a breakdown she got in her bed. Said she wanted to fix it but she would not hear me out. She shoke her head no for like 10 minutes straight. I have never been held hostage before.


Posted By: James Avery
Date Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 8:36am
well she needs you nore more than ever. she's probably going through something and she hasn't told you or anyone else about it. she may need professional help at this juncture.


Posted By: AwesomeAries
Date Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 8:39am
I can't deal with being held hostage. I don't think that's normal. I just don't know.


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 8:41am
You need to stay away from her and consider your safety/personal well being.

She may inadvertently hurt you.


Posted By: AwesomeAries
Date Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 8:43am
Nita that's what I am thinking maybe I should tell her mother/ grandmother.


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 8:51am
That might be a good idea. I don't know her family dynamic but emotional/psychological issues should be addressed in any way that will help her and not harm you.


Posted By: AwesomeAries
Date Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 10:25am
Which is Why I won't be going near her


Posted By: Naturalchick30
Date Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 10:28am
Originally posted by ShadyLady ShadyLady wrote:

Ignoring a person is not bad if you know for a fact that they'll be irrational if you try to cut them off verbally.

I have no problem ignoring people when I don't wanna be bothered with them anymore. I can show em better than I can tell em.
 
I've done this before.  It works. 


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 11:14am
Originally posted by AwesomeAries AwesomeAries wrote:

Nita that's what I am thinking maybe I should tell her mother/ grandmother.


I think this is the best idea.

Call them, let them know something odd is going on with her (describe the hostage situation), and then keep it moving from there.

The fact is she betrayed your friendship so you're not obligated to stay friends. But since you have been friends so long, it would definitely be nice of you to let her family know that she is having some serious issues.


Posted By: teendiva
Date Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 1:04pm
Ignore their calls and when they text you say, "who is this?"


Posted By: rell85
Date Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 4:53pm
email her or write a letter saying it's over and maybe a restraining order


Posted By: OrriannaRose
Date Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 6:55pm
Originally posted by AwesomeAries AwesomeAries wrote:

If one of your friends does something to you to really betray your trust. You talk to them about it and they just don't seem to get it. You have been friends with this person 7 years +
Is it wrong just to stop talking to them?
Don't answer calls or text messages?
Just a note the last time I tried to stop talking to this person they had an emotional fit, took my keys out my car and pretty much held me hostage.
I'm just trying to go about this in an adult way.
 
Originally posted by AwesomeAries AwesomeAries wrote:


Thankfully she hasn't been to my new place. I am serious she took my keys and retreated into her house. It took me 20+ minutes to get them back.
I've been in the same situation before. She took my keys so I couldn't leave. I cut her unstable a$$ off.


Posted By: ShadyLady
Date Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 7:01pm
Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:


Originally posted by AwesomeAries AwesomeAries wrote:

Nita that's what I am thinking maybe I should tell her mother/ grandmother.


I think this is the best idea.

Call them, let them know something odd is going on with her (describe the hostage situation), and then keep it moving from there.

The fact is she betrayed your friendship so you're not obligated to stay friends. But since you have been friends so long, it would definitely be nice of you to let her family know that she is having some serious issues.


From personal experience, that can go really bad.

I told a former friend's mother some questionable stuff her daughter was doing cuz I was really concerned. Next thing you know, she accused me off trying to "leave her" and turn her family against her.

It turned the situation from creepy/clingy bad to angry/violent bad.



Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 7:18pm
Originally posted by teendiva teendiva wrote:

Ignore their calls and when they text you say, "who is this?"


LOL


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 7:28pm
I have no problem ignoring calls or text.

One time a guy didn't get the hint so I played loud music into the phone until he hung up Lmao


Posted By: AwesomeAries
Date Posted: Mar 03 2013 at 7:01am
update I went to her mother's house to tell her mother and try to help her, her mother called her to come over so everyone could talk
this bish showed up, slashed my tires and left
Her mother paid for me to get new tires
and begged me not to whip her ass
don't care what is wrong with that heifer 
this friendship is null and void



Posted By: beautiful_hair
Date Posted: Mar 03 2013 at 7:11am
Originally posted by AwesomeAries AwesomeAries wrote:

update I went to her mother's house to tell her mother and try to help her, her mother called her to come over so everyone could talk
this bish showed up, slashed my tires and left
Her mother paid for me to get new tires
and begged me not to whip her ass
don't care what is wrong with that heifer 
this friendship is null and void

OMG!!!  Yeah I would be too through with her.  I would really want to punch her in the throat for slashing my tires.  She better be glad you respect her mother.


Posted By: AwesomeAries
Date Posted: Mar 03 2013 at 7:50am
I never wanted to hurt my friend
I don't understand why she wants to hurt me
I really just don't CryBroken Heart


Posted By: khivey
Date Posted: Mar 03 2013 at 9:07am
So were you guys lovers?



Posted By: Bunnyahh
Date Posted: Mar 03 2013 at 9:17am
roflLOL


Posted By: keepgrowing
Date Posted: Mar 03 2013 at 9:23am
she slashed your tires?!?!? this girl is crazzzzzy. Leave her alone. 


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Mar 03 2013 at 9:26am


Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:




wow she is really off


This

Originally posted by khivey khivey wrote:

So were you guys lovers?





And this.
Because homegirl is doing a little too much.

This sounds like something a ex did. I wish one of my friends would.


Posted By: AwesomeAries
Date Posted: Mar 03 2013 at 4:51pm
Lmfao Hell no.
She slashed my tires because I told her mother, like Bhm told me to do


Posted By: rell85
Date Posted: Mar 03 2013 at 4:58pm
from what she did b4 i wouldn't go near lol her family can't control her guess you know to stay away now.


Posted By: ShadyLady
Date Posted: Mar 03 2013 at 4:59pm
Originally posted by AwesomeAries AwesomeAries wrote:

Lmfao Hell no.
She slashed my tires because I told her mother, like Bhm told me to do


Nope, not all of BHM .

But at least you got her nutty ass outta your life. Gotta take the bad with the good sometimes.


Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: Mar 03 2013 at 7:16pm
Originally posted by AwesomeAries AwesomeAries wrote:

I just feel so bad for this person. I don't know if they had a nervous break down or what but they literally held me hostage, and even after all the mess they caused they can't see the problem. This person already has abandonment issues. Idk I was taught to try to talk your problems out but I can't deal with crazy.



Sounds like you're dealing with a person who has Borderline Personality.

Cold of me to say this, but I don't blame you for cutting them off. But I suggest you run far away because their pain is MAGNIFIED and can cause irrational action worse than keeping one hostage in their own car.



Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: Mar 03 2013 at 7:21pm
Originally posted by AwesomeAries AwesomeAries wrote:


update I went to her mother's house to tell her mother and try to help her, her mother called her to come over so everyone could talk
this bish showed up, slashed my tires and left
Her mother paid for me to get new tires
and begged me not to whip her ass
don't care what is wrong with that heiferĀ 
this friendship is null and void





SHE IS THE WEAKEST LINK.

G'BYE!!



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