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What are your Dating Pet Peeves ?

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Topic: What are your Dating Pet Peeves ?
Posted By: india100
Subject: What are your Dating Pet Peeves ?
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 8:29am
 

The Top 10 Biggest Dating Pet Peeves According to Men

http://www.glamour.com/contributors/melissa-melms" rel="nofollow -
        
Relationships writer, editor, and full-time N.Y. Rangers fanatic. Loves sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of cohabiting with her soon-to-be hubby (whether he likes it or not).
http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/smitten/2012/04/the-top-10-biggest-dating-pet.html#comments" rel="nofollow - -  
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You meet a nice, attractive guy (read: H O T). He asks you out. You pick out the perfect http://www.glamour.com/about/date-outfit-ideas" rel="nofollow - - serious mani and your smoky eye is blended to perfection. Yes, you’re all ready for the big night out… but did you know that one false move could totally kill the whole thing? Yes, my dears, guys have some real pet peeves when it comes to the ole dating game, and I’ve compiled the best to steer clear of from my buds.

http://pinterest.com/pin/create/button/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.glamour.com%2Fsex-love-life%2Fblogs%2Fsmitten%2F2012%2F04%2Fthe-top-10-biggest-dating-pet.html&media=undefined%2Fsex-love-life%2Fblogs%2Fsmitten%2F0412_man-with-watch-woman-finishing-drink_sm.jpg&description=The%20Top%2010%20Biggest%20Dating%20Pet%20Peeves%20According%20to%20Men" rel="nofollow">Pin It
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Before you go on your next date, take note of the biggest pet peeves of some of my best dude friends:

1. "Don’t be rude to the wait staff at a restaurant.”—Kyle, 25

2. "Don’t TwitPic the entrée you just ordered on a dinner date. And, with that same entrée, don’t look at it, take one bite and say something about being full or carb conscious.”—Andrew, 30

3. "Talking about yourself way too much is the worst. There is a difference between pride and vanity.”—J, 28 (you know, my BF!)

4. "If you’re dating someone, don’t be constantly late.”—Brian, 29

5. "Not being a good conversationalist. I am pretty good at making conversation but it shouldn't be my sole responsibility to drive the convo all night. Dates can be awkward for the both us, but let's get to know each other and not be so weird about it.”—James, 28

6. "No smoking.”—Matt, 24

7. "If something’s wrong, don’t say it’s ‘nothing’. Mean what you say.”—Kyle, 25

8. "Don’t be sarcastic if I messed something up.”—Pete, 32 (aw)

9. "Not even offering (or pretending to offer) to help with the bill is a huge turn off. Don't get me wrong, I will never let a girl pay on a date, no matter how bad it is but not even offering when the bill comes like it's just expected is usually a deal breaker for me.”—James, 28

10. "Texting: don't do it at the table. Save it for the bathroom to tell your best friend how amazing the date is.”—J, 28 (By the way, on our first date I snuck into the bathroom and texted my sister, “This is the best first date I’ve ever been on!”)

And a few extra Don’ts from a lady’s (OK, my) perspective:
-Don’t make fun of your date. When I first graduated college, I met this guy and was really nervous. I was trying to seem “funny” and “cool” and started to make fun of him… but I went too far and hurt his feelings. He stopped calling.

-Don’t curse like a sailor. Yes, when I drink I throw out a few unladylike terms, but I didn’t when I first started dating J. You know, I played that whole "demure" card.

-Don’t kiss and tell. Yes, you tell your best friend everything, but it's nice to leave some things between you and your man. Although I do tell you guys most things about J…

-Don’t be afraid to go after what you want. Why is all the power in the guy’s hands? If you like him, tell him. If you want to see him, make plans. If you want that kiss already, kiss him first! If he’s not reciprocating, then he’s probably not the one for you anyway.

Well, there you have it. These are the biggest pet peeves according to my guy friends. Can you think of any others you’ve heard of? What are YOUR biggest pet peeves when it comes to men? I’ll go first: J has a habit of saying “yes” when I ask him if I look alright without ever looking away from his game of Angry Birds. Not cool!



-------------
God will never let you down.
Avi.. Bobby Brown and brother Tommy after singing at MY DAD Funeral. RIP..



Replies:
Posted By: Limalady
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 8:42am
I'm guilty of number 9, and I haven't had any problems. I don't plan on changing that anytime soon either. I pay twice a year, Sweetest Day and his birthday. I'm pretty good about avoiding the rest though. 

That is a good list all-around though. I like it. Thumbs Up


Posted By: *Belle*Femme*
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 8:47am
9. "Not even offering (or pretending to offer) to help with the bill is a huge turn off. Don't get me wrong, I will never let a girl pay on a date, no matter how bad it is but not even offering when the bill comes like it's just expected is usually a deal breaker for me.”—James, 28
BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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My mind explodes


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 8:51am
I Never paid for a Dinner date . You ask me out and think i will go half ? LOL

-------------
God will never let you down.
Avi.. Bobby Brown and brother Tommy after singing at MY DAD Funeral. RIP..


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 8:52am
Originally posted by Limalady Limalady wrote:

I'm guilty of number 9, and I haven't had any problems. I don't plan on changing that anytime soon either. I pay twice a year, Sweetest Day and his birthday. I'm pretty good about avoiding the rest though. 

That is a good list all-around though. I like it. Thumbs Up
ClapLOLCry

-------------
God will never let you down.
Avi.. Bobby Brown and brother Tommy after singing at MY DAD Funeral. RIP..


Posted By: Mixer
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 8:52am
I hate most dating rules. Some people only listen to them because they want to benefit from them or will throw "But that's tradition!" in your face.

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The CHOGH crew...

President honeybee10

oh_so_moody

afrokock

Mixer

colemrlch

ummmok

niecy

313chick

AffirmativeBunny

Anah

HeyBeautiful


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 8:52am
I see nothing wrong with offering.In fact it's probably a good move to see what kinda guy you're dealing with.
If he does accept then you know.

I don't mind guys having pet peeves.
I do


I don't offer but I def see the rationale.

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Never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee
Donne

Havmercy Dez Bryant


Posted By: _ConcreteRose_
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 8:53am
Originally posted by *Belle*Femme* *Belle*Femme* wrote:

9. "Not even offering (or pretending to offer) to help with the bill is a huge turn off. Don't get me wrong, I will never let a girl pay on a date, no matter how bad it is but not even offering when the bill comes like it's just expected is usually a deal breaker for me.”—James, 28
BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LMAO


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https://40.media.tumblr.com/5ba9e0be75128d9fefb41178032b37f9/tumblr_nm5ltoJrGx1skqlxjo1_540.jpg


Posted By: Limalady
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 8:54am
Originally posted by *Belle*Femme* *Belle*Femme* wrote:

9. "Not even offering (or pretending to offer) to help with the bill is a huge turn off. Don't get me wrong, I will never let a girl pay on a date, no matter how bad it is but not even offering when the bill comes like it's just expected is usually a deal breaker for me.”—James, 28
BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I almost felt guilty.


Posted By: Bunnyahh
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 8:56am
clueless on chivalry & lying attention whores

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Hi BHM!! Lovely day I'm having. How about you?


Posted By: laceyfront
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 8:57am

I was getting ready to bwahahahaha @ number 9 but I see yall got that handled, he must be cray!



Posted By: beautiful-stranger
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:00am
#9 though?? You ask me on a first date and I have to pull the old, pull out the wallet but I'm really not paying trick? Confused

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Ain't no body got time fo dat.


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:02am
Originally posted by laceyfront laceyfront wrote:

I was getting ready to bwahahahaha @ number 9 but I see yall got that handled, he must be cray!

I agree . My hubby Never ask me to pay for anything while dating lol.

-------------
God will never let you down.
Avi.. Bobby Brown and brother Tommy after singing at MY DAD Funeral. RIP..


Posted By: Mixer
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:03am
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

I see nothing wrong with offering.In fact it's probably a good move to see what kinda guy you're dealing with.
If he does accept then you know.

I don't mind guys having pet peeves.
I do


I don't offer but I def see the rationale.
BHM needs a handshake smiley.

I would pay every time but I don't like the idea of doing anything else would be like some crime against religion or some sh*t. Anyone who says otherwise just wants to have a benefit protected.

-------------
The CHOGH crew...

President honeybee10

oh_so_moody

afrokock

Mixer

colemrlch

ummmok

niecy

313chick

AffirmativeBunny

Anah

HeyBeautiful


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:09am
What Benefit Mixer? ^^^^ TIA

-------------
God will never let you down.
Avi.. Bobby Brown and brother Tommy after singing at MY DAD Funeral. RIP..


Posted By: Bunnyahh
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:13am
9 is saying the GESTURE is appreciated, but he'd STILL PAY anyway.  I think it makes the guy feel flattered & like she's less of an opportunist or gold digger.  If all goes well, he'll continue being a gentleman & say " nah baby, I got it. But thanks anyway"  If it goes wrong & he's a scumbag, yall will end up going dutch.

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Hi BHM!! Lovely day I'm having. How about you?


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:14am
Exactly Bunny then you will know what kind of guy he is from the jump.


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Never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee
Donne

Havmercy Dez Bryant


Posted By: Mixer
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:15am
Not paying for dinners is one of them.

-------------
The CHOGH crew...

President honeybee10

oh_so_moody

afrokock

Mixer

colemrlch

ummmok

niecy

313chick

AffirmativeBunny

Anah

HeyBeautiful


Posted By: Bunnyahh
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:16am
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

Exactly Bunny then you will know what kind of guy he is from the jump.
you>>>>here<<<<<me

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Hi BHM!! Lovely day I'm having. How about you?


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:17am
If you invite me out, I shouldn't have to offer.

If you are in my car, don't be touching sh*t. I swear to gawd over the years, that has become one of my biggest pet peeves.

How dare you change my station, turn my music down, or put some sh*t you want to listen to on...in my car.

Matter of fact, don't even fcking comment on the music I listen to, ugh.


-------------
God forgive me for my brash delivery
But I remember vividly what these streets did to me


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:19am
Originally posted by Bunnyahh Bunnyahh wrote:

9 is saying the GESTURE is appreciated, but he'd STILL PAY anyway.  I think it makes the guy feel flattered & like she's less of an opportunist or gold digger.  If all goes well, he'll continue being a gentleman & say " nah baby, I got it. But thanks anyway"  If it goes wrong & he's a scumbag, yall will end up going dutch.


There are other ways to gauge if someone is a gold digger. I'd be more paying attention to what you order and why.


-------------
God forgive me for my brash delivery
But I remember vividly what these streets did to me


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:21am
Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

If you invite me out, I shouldn't have to offer.

If you are in my car, don't be touching sh*t. I swear to gawd over the years, that has become one of my biggest pet peeves.

How dare you change my station, turn my music down, or put some sh*t you want to listen to on...in my car.

Matter of fact, don't even fcking comment on the music I listen to, ugh.
I would Pull over and tell the fool to get out !!Ouch

-------------
God will never let you down.
Avi.. Bobby Brown and brother Tommy after singing at MY DAD Funeral. RIP..


Posted By: Bunnyahh
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:21am
Originally posted by Mixer Mixer wrote:

Not paying for dinners is one of them.
it must suck to be a guy sometimes.  A lot is expected of yall & its not fair.  If it were equal & fair in the dating world... Women would be a lot more different

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Hi BHM!! Lovely day I'm having. How about you?


Posted By: Over_all
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:21am
Women that never pay for a date.. Going on and on about your ex he aint here fvck that niiqqa.. 


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:22am
Umm I don't even think I have dating pet peeves.
I'be never had date jitters I don't know , I don't think so.

All of my relationships and dates have been friends first, so I knew what kind of guys they were.

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Never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee
Donne

Havmercy Dez Bryant


Posted By: Over_all
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:22am
oh yeah suggesting where I should spend my $$ at..  If you want to go to a certain restaurant you're paying 


Posted By: Bunnyahh
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:23am
Originally posted by india100 india100 wrote:

Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

If you invite me out, I shouldn't have to offer.

If you are in my car, don't be touching sh*t. I swear to gawd over the years, that has become one of my biggest pet peeves.

How dare you change my station, turn my music down, or put some sh*t you want to listen to on...in my car.

Matter of fact, don't even fcking comment on the music I listen to, ugh.
I would Pull over and tell the fool to get out !!Ouch
wwjd?

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Hi BHM!! Lovely day I'm having. How about you?


Posted By: Bunnyahh
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:25am
Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

Originally posted by Bunnyahh Bunnyahh wrote:

9 is saying the GESTURE is appreciated, but he'd STILL PAY anyway.  I think it makes the guy feel flattered & like she's less of an opportunist or gold digger.  If all goes well, he'll continue being a gentleman & say " nah baby, I got it. But thanks anyway"  If it goes wrong & he's a scumbag, yall will end up going dutch.


There are other ways to gauge if someone is a gold digger. I'd be more paying attention to what you order and why.
there are many ways.  I was only talking about #9 cuz that's what the 1st 2 pgs focused onStern Smile

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Hi BHM!! Lovely day I'm having. How about you?


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:28am
Originally posted by Bunnyahh Bunnyahh wrote:

Originally posted by india100 india100 wrote:

Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

If you invite me out, I shouldn't have to offer.

If you are in my car, don't be touching sh*t. I swear to gawd over the years, that has become one of my biggest pet peeves.

How dare you change my station, turn my music down, or put some sh*t you want to listen to on...in my car.

Matter of fact, don't even fcking comment on the music I listen to, ugh.
I would Pull over and tell the fool to get out !!Ouch
wwjd?
Get on your knees and ask him .

-------------
God will never let you down.
Avi.. Bobby Brown and brother Tommy after singing at MY DAD Funeral. RIP..


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:28am
1. "Don’t be rude to the wait staff at a restaurant.”—

agreed

2. "Don’t TwitPic the entrée you just ordered. on a dinner date. And, with that same entrée, don’t look at it, take one bite and say something about being full or carb conscious.”\

agreed, it's just tacky. & the second one is just annoying.

3. "Talking about yourself way too much is the worst. There is a difference between pride and vanity.”—J, 28 (you know, my BF!)

I don't mind this, I'd much rather you talk about yourself, than drill me like I am on an interview.

4. "If you’re dating someone, don’t be constantly late.”—Brian, 29

agreed.

5. "Not being a good conversationalist. I am pretty good at making conversation but it shouldn't be my sole responsibility to drive the convo all night.

agreed

6. "No smoking.”—Matt, 24

Only if it's in my car or while we are eating, other than that, I don't care, unless it's a cigar or weed.

7. "If something’s wrong, don’t say it’s ‘nothing’. Mean what you say.”—Kyle, 25

Nothing means: move the fck on and it's not up for discussion right now. I don't care unless it's some dumb ass way for you to get me to pull more info out of you.

8. "Don’t be sarcastic if I messed something up.”—Pete, 32 (aw)

depends on the situation

9. "Not even offering (or pretending to offer) to help with the bill is a huge turn off. Don't get me wrong, I will never let a girl pay on a date, no matter how bad it is but not even offering when the bill comes like it's just expected is usually a deal breaker for me.”—James, 28

No fck nicca, no

10. "Texting: don't do it at the table. Save it for the bathroom to tell your best friend how amazing the date is.”—J, 28

agreed. I hate this, unless it's work related

And a few extra Don’ts from a lady’s (OK, my) perspective:
-Don’t make fun of your date.

Who does this? Confused

-Don’t curse like a sailor.

Why? Bish, I might be a sailor

-Don’t kiss and tell.

Don't tell anyone that will pass the info along.



-------------
God forgive me for my brash delivery
But I remember vividly what these streets did to me


Posted By: Limalady
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:30am
I get the idea of the offer Jones and Bunnyahh. It is logical, especially from the first date perspective. I think I intend to reach for my purse, and just forget.  
 
I don't think paying is that burdensome though. A lot is expected of women too.


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:30am
Originally posted by Over_all Over_all wrote:

Women that never pay for a date.. Going on and on about your ex he aint here fvck that niiqqa.. 


Oh my god, I dated somebody who talked about an ex from 6 years ago. I remember one day he asked me to read all of their texts and call her so I would better know what type or person he was.Sleepy


-------------
God forgive me for my brash delivery
But I remember vividly what these streets did to me


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:30am
Originally posted by Over_all Over_all wrote:

oh yeah suggesting where I should spend my $$ at..  If you want to go to a certain restaurant you're paying 
I know many women that will refuse a Red Lobster feast . They are not cheap in my op . Our last bill was over 150 bucks for 3 lol .

-------------
God will never let you down.
Avi.. Bobby Brown and brother Tommy after singing at MY DAD Funeral. RIP..


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:30am
I def. don't like excessive cursing.
Makes me cringe.



-------------
Never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee
Donne

Havmercy Dez Bryant


Posted By: Bunnyahh
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:31am
Originally posted by india100 india100 wrote:

Originally posted by Bunnyahh Bunnyahh wrote:

Originally posted by india100 india100 wrote:

Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

If you invite me out, I shouldn't have to offer.

If you are in my car, don't be touching sh*t. I swear to gawd over the years, that has become one of my biggest pet peeves.

How dare you change my station, turn my music down, or put some sh*t you want to listen to on...in my car.

Matter of fact, don't even fcking comment on the music I listen to, ugh.
I would Pull over and tell the fool to get out !!Ouch
wwjd?
Get on your knees and ask him .
he said he'd never kick someone outBig smile

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Hi BHM!! Lovely day I'm having. How about you?


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:32am
Originally posted by Bunnyahh Bunnyahh wrote:

there are many ways.  I was only talking about #9 cuz that's what the 1st 2 pgs focused onStern Smile

and I was talking about other ways because number 9 is stupid and the other ways are better


-------------
God forgive me for my brash delivery
But I remember vividly what these streets did to me


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:33am
Jesus wouldn't be in my car, no suh.

-------------
God forgive me for my brash delivery
But I remember vividly what these streets did to me


Posted By: Bunnyahh
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:33am
Originally posted by Limalady Limalady wrote:

I get the idea of the offer Jones and Bunnyahh. It is logical, especially from the first date perspective. I think I intend to reach for my purse, and just forget.  
 
I don't think paying is that burdensome though. A lot is expected of women too.
LOL

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Hi BHM!! Lovely day I'm having. How about you?


Posted By: Over_all
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:35am
Originally posted by india100 india100 wrote:

Originally posted by Over_all Over_all wrote:

oh yeah suggesting where I should spend my $$ at..  If you want to go to a certain restaurant you're paying 
I know many women that will refuse a Red Lobster feast . They are not cheap in my op . Our last bill was over 150 bucks for 3 lol .
I just despise that they suggest it like they helped you earn that.. But this only applies if we just started dating...


Posted By: Limalady
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:36am
Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

Originally posted by Bunnyahh Bunnyahh wrote:

there are many ways.  I was only talking about #9 cuz that's what the 1st 2 pgs focused onStern Smile

and I was talking about other ways because number 9 is stupid and the other ways are better
 
I can see this. For instance, does she ask for money or assistance in paying her bills? Does she expect expensive gifts? Does she always want to go out to dinner? Does she ever want to stay home or even make dinner? Does she buy him nice gifts? Is she generally considerate? I'm not sure the failure to reach for your purse means one is a gold digger, per se.
 
ETA: But I see Bunnyahh's point that the failure to offer is an early indicator that some of these elements will follow, which is why some men may just cut their losses early.


Posted By: Bunnyahh
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:37am
Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

Originally posted by Bunnyahh Bunnyahh wrote:

there are many ways.  I was only talking about #9 cuz that's what the 1st 2 pgs focused onStern Smile

and I was talking about other ways because number 9 is stupid and the other ways are better
I don't agree with it, but I can see why he said it.  I think most guys would be a lil impressed with the gesture.  It goes both  ways.  He doesn't HAVE TO bring flowers, but the gesture is nice.  He doesn't HAVE to open doors, but the gesture is nice.   He doesn't HAVE to call 1st but the gesture is nice, etc, etc...

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Hi BHM!! Lovely day I'm having. How about you?


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:37am
What do you mean overall? You don't like suggestions?



-------------
God forgive me for my brash delivery
But I remember vividly what these streets did to me


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:37am
Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

Jesus wouldn't be in my car, no suh.
Right . SMH LOL

-------------
God will never let you down.
Avi.. Bobby Brown and brother Tommy after singing at MY DAD Funeral. RIP..


Posted By: Over_all
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:38am
Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

Originally posted by Over_all Over_all wrote:

Women that never pay for a date.. Going on and on about your ex he aint here fvck that niiqqa.. 


Oh my god, I dated somebody who talked about an ex from 6 years ago. I remember one day he asked me to read all of their texts and call her so I would better know what type or person he was.Sleepy
wtf? They would've never got a call again... I dated a chic that did this and it bored me.. I was like how does our convo always go back to this dude... Ya'll still fvcking??


She didn't call me after that thoOuch


Posted By: Bunnyahh
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:39am
Overall, next time I'm in Houston, I'mma take you out to the restaurant of ur choice

-------------
Hi BHM!! Lovely day I'm having. How about you?


Posted By: Limalady
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:40am
Originally posted by Bunnyahh Bunnyahh wrote:

Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

Originally posted by Bunnyahh Bunnyahh wrote:

there are many ways.  I was only talking about #9 cuz that's what the 1st 2 pgs focused onStern Smile

and I was talking about other ways because number 9 is stupid and the other ways are better
I don't agree with it, but I can see why he said it.  I think most guys would be a lil impressed with the gesture.  It goes both  ways.  He doesn't HAVE TO bring flowers, but the gesture is nice.  He doesn't HAVE to open doors, but the gesture is nice.   He doesn't HAVE to call 1st but the gesture is nice, etc, etc...
 
Do some women view the failure to do these things as a deal-breaker?


Posted By: Over_all
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:41am
Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

What do you mean overall? You don't like suggestions?

I don't mind suggestions when it's reasonable but if you want me to take you a place that my bill is going to equal up to more than $150 (keep in mind I'm from houston most places wont run you that high) in one place & I barely know you I'm thinking you want a free meal


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:41am
Originally posted by Bunnyahh Bunnyahh wrote:

Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

Originally posted by Bunnyahh Bunnyahh wrote:

there are many ways.  I was only talking about #9 cuz that's what the 1st 2 pgs focused onStern Smile

and I was talking about other ways because number 9 is stupid and the other ways are better
I don't agree with it, but I can see why he said it.  I think most guys would be a lil impressed with the gesture.  It goes both  ways.  He doesn't HAVE TO bring flowers, but the gesture is nice.  He doesn't HAVE to open doors, but the gesture is nice.   He doesn't HAVE to call 1st but the gesture is nice, etc, etc...

None of that is the same. If I am going to do some sh*t, don't try to counter and offer the same damn service I just offered. It's redundant and rude, imo. & teeters on being manipulative.

I only let children get away with that. For instance, I took my FOUR YEAR OLD niece out for her birthday. She kept offering to pay because she had birthday money. It was cute everytime she put her little money up.Embarrassed She is four and doesn't understand social pragmatics yet.

Now if that was a 40 year old woman, I'd be ready to go. It's disrespectful, imo. I offered to take YOU out, why are you trying to pay?

but that is just my opinion. Do what works for you.


-------------
God forgive me for my brash delivery
But I remember vividly what these streets did to me


Posted By: Over_all
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:43am
Originally posted by Bunnyahh Bunnyahh wrote:

Overall, next time I'm in Houston, I'mma take you out to the restaurant of ur choice
I'm cheap I prefer to cook..  Just buy some fresh veggies and make $hit happen


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:44am
Originally posted by Over_all Over_all wrote:


wtf? They would've never got a call again... I dated a chic that did this and it bored me.. I was like how does our convo always go back to this dude... Ya'll still fvcking??


She didn't call me after that thoOuch

LMFAO. He hadn't seen this girl in over 5 years. It was just sad. I cursed him out, but we dated for a little while longer. I have to learn how to not cuss the people I date out.


-------------
God forgive me for my brash delivery
But I remember vividly what these streets did to me


Posted By: Bunnyahh
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:46am
Originally posted by Over_all Over_all wrote:

Originally posted by Bunnyahh Bunnyahh wrote:

Overall, next time I'm in Houston, I'mma take you out to the restaurant of ur choice
I'm cheap I prefer to cook..  Just buy some fresh veggies and make $hit happen
Do you eat meat?? Vegan SO's are so annoyingConfused

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Hi BHM!! Lovely day I'm having. How about you?


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:47am
Men will treat you the way you allow them too . I carry myself like a lady and expect to be treated like one or we will never make it pass the first date . I expect and give the same in my marriage .
I understand a man frustration when women talk about Ex Boyfriends . I would hesitiate to go on a second date .

-------------
God will never let you down.
Avi.. Bobby Brown and brother Tommy after singing at MY DAD Funeral. RIP..


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:47am
Originally posted by Over_all Over_all wrote:

Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

What do you mean overall? You don't like suggestions?
I don't mind suggestions when it's reasonable but if you want me to take you a place that my bill is going to equal up to more than $150 (keep in mind I'm from houston most places wont run you that high) in one place & I barely know you I'm thinking you want a free meal

Oh, ok. See this is when my dates get disrespectful, because if you offer to go to places that I don't like, and I mention a place that is more pricey, I'd offer to pay at that point. But not while we are at place.
Or if you are in over your head, I'd pay. Just depends on the situation.


-------------
God forgive me for my brash delivery
But I remember vividly what these streets did to me


Posted By: *Belle*Femme*
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:47am
Originally posted by Limalady Limalady wrote:

I get the idea of the offer Jones and Bunnyahh. It is logical, especially from the first date perspective. I think I intend to reach for my purse, and just forget.  
 
Sheeeiiittttt.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dont do the reach at all. Nope. I will offer to leave the tip.

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My mind explodes


Posted By: Over_all
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:48am
Originally posted by Bunnyahh Bunnyahh wrote:

Originally posted by Over_all Over_all wrote:

Originally posted by Bunnyahh Bunnyahh wrote:

Overall, next time I'm in Houston, I'mma take you out to the restaurant of ur choice
I'm cheap I prefer to cook..  Just buy some fresh veggies and make $hit happen
Do you eat meat?? Vegan SO's are so annoyingConfused
It's not a meal if there's no meat..  One time I had a salad with no meat for a meal.. Had to go get a burger after that


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:50am
When I go out with friends or family and I know they are paying I still offer.
We were taught to offer most everything though so offering is built in .

If you are about to eat one of your most favorite things that you do not want to share you still must offer to everyone if they want some and make good on the offer if someone does.

Maybe it's not true in the dating dynamic bc men and women have different roles and I'm more traditional in that aspect especially when it comes to guys paying.

But it's normally very rude if you don't offer.
Also in the case of if you're going to eat for lunch you're suppose to offer to your co workers if they want something

-------------
Never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee
Donne

Havmercy Dez Bryant


Posted By: Bunnyahh
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:50am
Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

Originally posted by Bunnyahh Bunnyahh wrote:

Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

Originally posted by Bunnyahh Bunnyahh wrote:

there are many ways.  I was only talking about #9 cuz that's what the 1st 2 pgs focused onStern Smile

and I was talking about other ways because number 9 is stupid and the other ways are better
I don't agree with it, but I can see why he said it.  I think most guys would be a lil impressed with the gesture.  It goes both  ways.  He doesn't HAVE TO bring flowers, but the gesture is nice.  He doesn't HAVE to open doors, but the gesture is nice.   He doesn't HAVE to call 1st but the gesture is nice, etc, etc...

None of that is the same. If I am going to do some sh*t, don't try to counter and offer the same damn service I just offered. It's redundant and rude, imo. & teeters on being manipulative.

I only let children get away with that. For instance, I took my FOUR YEAR OLD niece out for her birthday. She kept offering to pay because she had birthday money. It was cute everytime she put her little money up.Embarrassed She is four and doesn't understand social pragmatics yet.

Now if that was a 40 year old woman, I'd be ready to go. It's disrespectful, imo. I offered to take YOU out, why are you trying to pay?

but that is just my opinion. Do what works for you.
I'm not gonna get into the same vs similar, but I already said I agree with men paying for the FIRST DATE regardless of who asked who.   As for the man in the op.  He didnt state who asked who. But he did say not offering the GESTURE is a turnoff.  Just like a woman may be turned off if he didn't hold the door or pull out a chair.  Different strokes for diff folks

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Hi BHM!! Lovely day I'm having. How about you?


Posted By: Over_all
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:50am
Originally posted by india100 india100 wrote:

Men will treat you the way you allow them too . I carry myself like a lady and expect to be treated like one or we will never make it pass the first date . I expect and give the same in my marriage .
I understand a man frustration when women talk about Ex Boyfriends . I would hesitiate to go on a second date .
True I'll only treat you accordingly.. 


Posted By: Bunnyahh
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:51am
Originally posted by Over_all Over_all wrote:

Originally posted by Bunnyahh Bunnyahh wrote:

Originally posted by Over_all Over_all wrote:

Originally posted by Bunnyahh Bunnyahh wrote:

Overall, next time I'm in Houston, I'mma take you out to the restaurant of ur choice
I'm cheap I prefer to cook..  Just buy some fresh veggies and make $hit happen
Do you eat meat?? Vegan SO's are so annoyingConfused
It's not a meal if there's no meat..  One time I had a salad with no meat for a meal.. Had to go get a burger after that
alright then,  youz about to get hooked up potnaApproveClap

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Hi BHM!! Lovely day I'm having. How about you?


Posted By: Over_all
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:52am
Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

Originally posted by Over_all Over_all wrote:

Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

What do you mean overall? You don't like suggestions?
I don't mind suggestions when it's reasonable but if you want me to take you a place that my bill is going to equal up to more than $150 (keep in mind I'm from houston most places wont run you that high) in one place & I barely know you I'm thinking you want a free meal

Oh, ok. See this is when my dates get disrespectful, because if you offer to go to places that I don't like, and I mention a place that is more pricey, I'd offer to pay at that point. But not while we are at place.
Or if you are in over your head, I'd pay. Just depends on the situation.
If you don't like something that fine we can choose another place but the preliminary dates Idk how long you're going to be around & or what you're intentions are so I can't invest too much $$ into that..


Posted By: smgreene67
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:52am
I never paid for dates when I was single. To me, that is just a flat out NO.  I guess that I am a Southern girl at heart and I feel that a man should pay for dates.  I was not the type to ask a guy out, so if the guy asked me, he should pay.


Posted By: goodm3
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:52am
-Don’t make fun of your date. When I first graduated college, I met this guy and was really nervous. I was trying to seem “funny” and “cool” and started to make fun of him… but I went too far and hurt his feelings. He stopped calling.

This one... 
I had a guy who kept poking fun at me ALLLL the time. Even though I know its his nerves that makes him say those things but after a while is got super old and I don't take him seriously any more. He's in the "forever friend" pile. 


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:54am
Who is saying something about paying?
The guy in the OP never wanted the girl to pay.


I never offered a guy to pay but I will tell my little sister to offer when she goes out to vet her prospects.
The guys in her age group are despicable.
She needs to get a feel right off..


-------------
Never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee
Donne

Havmercy Dez Bryant


Posted By: Over_all
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:54am
Originally posted by Bunnyahh Bunnyahh wrote:

Originally posted by Over_all Over_all wrote:

Originally posted by Bunnyahh Bunnyahh wrote:

Originally posted by Over_all Over_all wrote:

Originally posted by Bunnyahh Bunnyahh wrote:

Overall, next time I'm in Houston, I'mma take you out to the restaurant of ur choice
I'm cheap I prefer to cook..  Just buy some fresh veggies and make $hit happen
Do you eat meat?? Vegan SO's are so annoyingConfused
It's not a meal if there's no meat..  One time I had a salad with no meat for a meal.. Had to go get a burger after that
alright then,  youz about to get hooked up potnaApproveClap
Embarrassed lol ohhhhhh yeahhhhhh!!!!!!


Posted By: OoDles O
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:54am
lol @ Nita

anyways... I totally agree with #9 TOTALLY .... COMPLETELY .... ENTIRELY 

you know what I also hate (this is before a date)... This one girl text me talking bout.. "what you doing?"
Im like ..."hmm not sure yet.. Why whats up?" .. She's like "I don't know.." .. I'm like.."its cold outside.. I think I'ma watch the game" Shes like..." Wack" 

Clearly she wanted me to plan something for us to do right... and you know whoever makes the plans...
(for the record I took her out and paid before.. and didn't trip)

This has happened a few times with these younger girls who feel entitled from the start.
The older Woman I dated was like "you sure you dont want me to pay..?" I had to turn her down TWICE.


Posted By: *Belle*Femme*
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:54am
Originally posted by Bunnyahh Bunnyahh wrote:

Originally posted by india100 india100 wrote:

Originally posted by Bunnyahh Bunnyahh wrote:

Originally posted by india100 india100 wrote:

Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

If you invite me out, I shouldn't have to offer.

If you are in my car, don't be touching sh*t. I swear to gawd over the years, that has become one of my biggest pet peeves.

How dare you change my station, turn my music down, or put some sh*t you want to listen to on...in my car.

Matter of fact, don't even fcking comment on the music I listen to, ugh.
I would Pull over and tell the fool to get out !!Ouch
wwjd?
Get on your knees and ask him .
he said he'd never kick someone outBig smile
LOLLOL At this back and forth

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My mind explodes


Posted By: Junior Jr
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:54am
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

I see nothing wrong with offering.In fact it's probably a good move to see what kinda guy you're dealing with.
If he does accept then you know.

I don't mind guys having pet peeves.
I do


I don't offer but I def see the rationale.
 
i've been saying this for almost 4 years
 
this is why you're my fav resident of gullah gullah island
 
jr.


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Posted By: Over_all
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:55am
I find it weird that guys expect coochie.. I cant get mad over something I've never had...


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:55am
Originally posted by Bunnyahh Bunnyahh wrote:

I'm not gonna get into the same vs similar, but I already said I agree with men paying for the FIRST DATE regardless of who asked who.   As for the man in the op.  He didnt state who asked who. But he did say not offering the GESTURE is a turnoff.  Just like a woman may be turned off if he didn't hold the door or pull out a chair.  Different strokes for diff folks


That gesture seems like a game. Games while dating is a pet peeve of mine too. You have an expectation of him paying, so why even offer?

If I even think I had to offer, I'd check the 'did not meet or exceed my expectations' box.


-------------
God forgive me for my brash delivery
But I remember vividly what these streets did to me


Posted By: Over_all
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:58am
Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

Originally posted by Bunnyahh Bunnyahh wrote:

I'm not gonna get into the same vs similar, but I already said I agree with men paying for the FIRST DATE regardless of who asked who.   As for the man in the op.  He didnt state who asked who. But he did say not offering the GESTURE is a turnoff.  Just like a woman may be turned off if he didn't hold the door or pull out a chair.  Different strokes for diff folks


That gesture seems like a game. Games while dating is a pet peeve of mine too. You have an expectation of him paying, so why even offer?

If I even think I had to offer, I'd check the 'did not meet or exceed my expectations' box.
It is tho.. My rule is if she doesn't pay by or right after the 3rd date I'm usually out..


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:58am
Originally posted by Over_all Over_all wrote:


If you don't like something that fine we can choose another place but the preliminary dates Idk how long you're going to be around & or what you're intentions are so I can't invest too much $$ into that..

I look at it a bit different. More of an investment of time, not money. We should be having fun and enjoying ourselves. Once the focus switches to 'is this about money' it isn't fun anymore.


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God forgive me for my brash delivery
But I remember vividly what these streets did to me


Posted By: smgreene67
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 9:59am
I am not a gold digger because I had my own stuff and did not expect a man to pay my bills or to get my hair done etc (not casting judgment on those who do).  However, I think that a man should "court" a woman and this definitely applied to my expectations of my (now husband) while we were dating.


ETA: I am somewhat older than most ladies and guys on this forum.


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:00am
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

When I go out with friends or family and I know they are paying I still offer.

We weren't raised like that. When my dad visits, they pay. If we want to pay, we discuss it before hand. It's disrespectful to offer to pay once he pulled out his card. We can offer to leave a tip though.


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God forgive me for my brash delivery
But I remember vividly what these streets did to me


Posted By: Over_all
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:01am
Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

Originally posted by Over_all Over_all wrote:


If you don't like something that fine we can choose another place but the preliminary dates Idk how long you're going to be around & or what you're intentions are so I can't invest too much $$ into that..

I look at it a bit different. More of an investment of time, not money. We should be having fun and enjoying ourselves. Once the focus switches to 'is this about money' it isn't fun anymore.
It should be about that but as a guy that lives in bopper city that's something you have to watch out for.. When I was in Cali and Wash state I never had this problem.. But when I came home after the military I was like damn they still acti like this here??


Posted By: _ConcreteRose_
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:03am
I personally think the offering to pay thing is silly if you don't really mean it and are expecting the guy to say "no no I'll take care of it". I wouldn't do it. If I offer to pay, than I will actually want to pay.

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https://40.media.tumblr.com/5ba9e0be75128d9fefb41178032b37f9/tumblr_nm5ltoJrGx1skqlxjo1_540.jpg


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:07am
Originally posted by Junior Jr Junior Jr wrote:

Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

I see nothing wrong with offering.In fact it's probably a good move to see what kinda guy you're dealing with.
If he does accept then you know.

I don't mind guys having pet peeves.
I do


I don't offer but I def see the rationale.
 
i've been saying this for almost 4 years
 
this is why you're my fav resident of gullah gullah island
 
jr.
Junior you are so cheap !! I am suprise you are always talking about the dates you go on .LOLHug

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God will never let you down.
Avi.. Bobby Brown and brother Tommy after singing at MY DAD Funeral. RIP..


Posted By: Bunnyahh
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:08am
Originally posted by _ConcreteRose_ _ConcreteRose_ wrote:

I personally think the offering to pay thing is silly if you don't really mean it and are expecting the guy to say "no no I'll take care of it". I wouldn't do it. If I offer to pay, than I will actually want to pay.
yeah, this is what nita is saying & I totally agree.
 
On the other hand like the guy in the op, mixer, & overall say, paying over & over again & again without reciprocation is a turn off for some not all.  & I understand why
 
tis all.  just being objective & looking at both sides here


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Hi BHM!! Lovely day I'm having. How about you?


Posted By: Over_all
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:09am
Originally posted by smgreene67 smgreene67 wrote:

I am not a gold digger because I had my own stuff and did not expect a man to pay my bills or to get my hair done etc (not casting judgment on those who do).  However, I think that a man should "court" a woman and this definitely applied to my expectations of my (now husband) while we were dating.


ETA: I am somewhat older than most ladies and guys on this forum.
I'll take the bait.. I get courting a woman back then when women were viewed at as less ($ wise) and women had more character and morals (not saying that don't have it now but $hit they think it's okay to to come out as the side chic).. To me courting was a way of showing that you could or were a capable provider.. But now with all equality and independence comes a realization that we should be courting eachother


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:09am
Originally posted by _ConcreteRose_ _ConcreteRose_ wrote:

I personally think the offering to pay thing is silly if you don't really mean it and are expecting the guy to say "no no I'll take care of it". I wouldn't do it. If I offer to pay, than I will actually want to pay.

That is my whole point. It's not a kind gesture if you really don't intend to pay. & I remember being tried on a date. & he tried to act like I couldn't afford it.

Lawd, I excused myself and pretended to go to the ladies room. I found our waitress and prepaid with tip. The look on his face and my face was priceless when the bill came. Sleepy

We never went out on a date again.



-------------
God forgive me for my brash delivery
But I remember vividly what these streets did to me


Posted By: OoDles O
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:10am
Originally posted by _ConcreteRose_ _ConcreteRose_ wrote:

I personally think the offering to pay thing is silly if you don't really mean it and are expecting the guy to say "no no I'll take care of it". I wouldn't do it. If I offer to pay, than I will actually want to pay.

Yea, it is silly if you "dont really mean it". I agree... dont offer if you really dont mean it.
When me and the homies go out.. I'm like "yo.. I gotchu dont trip (talking bout drinks)"  If I go over a girls house and she cooks.. "I'm like yo.. I will wash the dishes.. dont trip"... If I offer up gas money.. Im actually trying to help out... to make your life more convenient...

So maybe.. just maybe... their is a young lady out their who does "really mean it"....to. lol.. when it comes to paying for dinner .... 

But they're rare on BHM ... lol



Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:11am
I don't think it's silly.
It's a venting tool IMO
I'm gonna tell my little sis to do this on her date is weekend to see if the guy is a gentlemen.

If he accepts the offer then she will pay and then we know the deal from there.
I hate the guys in her age group

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Never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee
Donne

Havmercy Dez Bryant


Posted By: Bunnyahh
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:12am
ftr, I've already stated in past threads that sometimes if you feel that the date may be the last cuz he's not ur type & feel kind of bad for wasting his time, it's ok to go dutch or toss a few dollars & haul ass.
 
I hate using guys or making them feel like they got duped


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Hi BHM!! Lovely day I'm having. How about you?


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:12am
Originally posted by Over_all Over_all wrote:


I'll take the bait.. I get courting a woman back then when women were viewed at as less ($ wise) and women had more character and morals (not saying that don't have it now but $hit they think it's okay to to come out as the side chic).. To me courting was a way of showing that you could or were a capable provider.. But now with all equality and independence comes a realization that we should be courting each other.
But that is assuming that everyone prescribes to that, and they don't. Some people are still old fashioned and that works for their lifestyle.

With the level of almost equality and forced independence, people are able to pick and choose what they want. Some still want to be courted. & imo, most guys that want to be courted are btches, tbh, imho.


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God forgive me for my brash delivery
But I remember vividly what these streets did to me


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:15am
Originally posted by OoDles O OoDles O wrote:

So maybe.. just maybe... their is a young lady out their who does "really mean it"....to. lol.. when it comes to paying for dinner .... 

But they're rare on BHM ... lol

I don't mind paying for dinner, if I offer.


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God forgive me for my brash delivery
But I remember vividly what these streets did to me


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:16am
Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:


That gesture seems like a game. Games while dating is a pet peeve of mine too. You have an expectation of him paying, so why even offer?

If I even think I had to offer, I'd check the 'did not meet or exceed my expectations' box.


100% agree. I hate games.

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PEACE


Posted By: Over_all
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:17am
Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

Originally posted by Over_all Over_all wrote:


I'll take the bait.. I get courting a woman back then when women were viewed at as less ($ wise) and women had more character and morals (not saying that don't have it now but $hit they think it's okay to to come out as the side chic).. To me courting was a way of showing that you could or were a capable provider.. But now with all equality and independence comes a realization that we should be courting each other.
But that is assuming that everyone prescribes to that, and they don't. Some people are still old fashioned and that works for their lifestyle.

With the level of almost equality and forced independence, people are able to pick and choose what they want. Some still want to be courted. & imo, most guys that want to be courted are btches, tbh, imho.
lmao I'm not saying a woman should be trying to do everything men use to do but I do feel you should be trying to impress me as well.. I use to bang this chic who claimed she loved me but never tried to impress me.. The only time she would look like something when she was going out with her friends..


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:17am
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

I don't think it's silly.
If he accepts the offer then she will pay and then we know the deal from there.
I hate the guys in her age group

How do you know the deal though? You say you are going to do something, and he let's you do it, so now he isn't datable? lol

I guess they both win.




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God forgive me for my brash delivery
But I remember vividly what these streets did to me


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:18am
When I'm with someone I don't mind paying bc I know him and I know his intentions and that he isn't trying to be cheap with me.

I took the bill last week at dinner but he snatched it back.
He really is traditional .

I just get him good gifts instead

-------------
Never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee
Donne

Havmercy Dez Bryant


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:18am
Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

Originally posted by _ConcreteRose_ _ConcreteRose_ wrote:

I personally think the offering to pay thing is silly if you don't really mean it and are expecting the guy to say "no no I'll take care of it". I wouldn't do it. If I offer to pay, than I will actually want to pay.

That is my whole point. It's not a kind gesture if you really don't intend to pay. & I remember being tried on a date. & he tried to act like I couldn't afford it.

Lawd, I excused myself and pretended to go to the ladies room. I found our waitress and prepaid with tip. The look on his face and my face was priceless when the bill came.
Sleepy

We never went out on a date again.



I've done the bold a few times. It avoids any awkward moments.


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"Men are f*ckers until proven otherwise with a certificate from three separate independent witnesses, two goddesses and your deepest gut feeling."


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:19am
Originally posted by Over_all Over_all wrote:


lmao I'm not saying a woman should be trying to do everything men use to do but I do feel you should be trying to impress me as well.. I use to bang this chic who claimed she loved me but never tried to impress me.. The only time she would look like something when she was going out with her friends..

I agree because I do this. I don't like to be with people who wont let me do stuff for them. That isn't fun for me.


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God forgive me for my brash delivery
But I remember vividly what these streets did to me


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:20am
Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:


Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

I don't think it's silly.
If he accepts the offer then she will pay and then we know the deal from there.
I hate the guys in her age group

How do you know the deal though? You say you are going to do something, and he let's you do it, so now he isn't datable? lol

I guess they both win.




If its a first date type scenario yeah I do think its in bad taste that he would let her pay.
I'll tell her to look for other cues too

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Never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee
Donne

Havmercy Dez Bryant


Posted By: Mixer
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:20am
Originally posted by OoDles O OoDles O wrote:




Originally posted by _ConcreteRose_ _ConcreteRose_ wrote:

I personally think the offering to pay thing is silly if you don't really mean it and are expecting the guy to say "no no I'll take care of it". I wouldn't do it. If I offer to pay, than I will actually want to pay.


Yea, it is silly if you "dont really mean it". I agree... dont offer if you really dont mean it.
When me and the homies go out.. I'm like "yo.. I gotchu dont trip (talking bout drinks)"  If I go over a girls house and she cooks.. "I'm like yo.. I will wash the dishes.. dont trip"... If I offer up gas money.. Im actually trying to help out... to make your life more convenient...

So maybe.. just maybe... their is a young lady out their who does "really mean it"....to. lol.. when it comes to paying for dinner .... 

But they're rare on BHM ... lol



lol Amen.

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The CHOGH crew...

President honeybee10

oh_so_moody

afrokock

Mixer

colemrlch

ummmok

niecy

313chick

AffirmativeBunny

Anah

HeyBeautiful


Posted By: Over_all
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:20am
Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

I don't think it's silly.
If he accepts the offer then she will pay and then we know the deal from there.
I hate the guys in her age group

How do you know the deal though? You say you are going to do something, and he let's you do it, so now he isn't datable? lol

I guess they both win.


lol he could've thought you were one of those independent women that really wanted to do it.. I've had that happen to me before when I was in Vegas women offering to buy drinks and bringing them to you when you run out is so odd to me.. I have to check my drink and $hit 


Posted By: _ConcreteRose_
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:21am
Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

Originally posted by OoDles O OoDles O wrote:

So maybe.. just maybe... their is a young lady out their who does "really mean it"....to. lol.. when it comes to paying for dinner .... 

But they're rare on BHM ... lol

I don't mind paying for dinner, if I offer.
exactly. 


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https://40.media.tumblr.com/5ba9e0be75128d9fefb41178032b37f9/tumblr_nm5ltoJrGx1skqlxjo1_540.jpg


Posted By: OoDles O
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:21am
Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

Originally posted by OoDles O OoDles O wrote:

So maybe.. just maybe... their is a young lady out their who does "really mean it"....to. lol.. when it comes to paying for dinner .... 

But they're rare on BHM ... lol

I don't mind paying for dinner, if I offer.

I know you don't mind Nita
I would pay and not give it a second thought if we went out  

but base off of my personal experience... it seems like women would rather offer the a*s up before they come up off some paper!  LMAO

So if she's actually offering to pay for anything... I know (at the very least) that shes interested.




Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:21am
Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:


Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

I don't think it's silly.
If he accepts the offer then she will pay and then we know the deal from there.
I hate the guys in her age group

How do you know the deal though? You say you are going to do something, and he let's you do it, so now he isn't datable? lol

I guess they both win.




Yeah. If she tries to pay and he doesn't allow her, that's controlling. RUN!

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PEACE


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:22am
And India, you make the best threads lol

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PEACE


Posted By: india100
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:22am
Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

Originally posted by Over_all Over_all wrote:


I'll take the bait.. I get courting a woman back then when women were viewed at as less ($ wise) and women had more character and morals (not saying that don't have it now but $hit they think it's okay to to come out as the side chic).. To me courting was a way of showing that you could or were a capable provider.. But now with all equality and independence comes a realization that we should be courting each other.
But that is assuming that everyone prescribes to that, and they don't. Some people are still old fashioned and that works for their lifestyle.

With the level of almost equality and forced independence, people are able to pick and choose what they want. Some still want to be courted. & imo, most guys that want to be courted are btches, tbh, imho.
I Expect no less from my husband . I tried to pay once recently and the man looked at me like i Cursed him out lol . We where in a drive thru for India .  

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God will never let you down.
Avi.. Bobby Brown and brother Tommy after singing at MY DAD Funeral. RIP..


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:23am
I think most ppl send their representatives on their first date ( I'm sure BHM is an exception though)
So yeah I don't mind it, if that's a game then I'm cool with that too

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Never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee
Donne

Havmercy Dez Bryant


Posted By: r0ck_starr
Date Posted: Feb 12 2013 at 10:24am
Originally posted by *Belle*Femme* *Belle*Femme* wrote:

9. "Not even offering (or pretending to offer) to help with the bill is a huge turn off. Don't get me wrong, I will never let a girl pay on a date, no matter how bad it is but not even offering when the bill comes like it's just expected is usually a deal breaker for me.”—James, 28
BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can't afford me? don't take me out, its just that simple. Broke n!qqas I swear!



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