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Bootcamp for troubled kids

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Printed Date: Nov 23 2017 at 9:45am


Topic: Bootcamp for troubled kids
Posted By: tropical-punch
Subject: Bootcamp for troubled kids
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 12:17pm
Has anyone ever been or sent your kid? How would you go about sending your kid? Is it expensive?

I ask because my brother is being really disrespectful to my mom and I think it is out of her hands at this point. He is 15 and yells at her and one point he called her job and yelled at her and everybody could hear it. She said it's so bad that it makes her cry. I told her to box up all the things he likes (xbox, cell phone, debit card, etc) and ship it here to me that way he has no access to it.

Do you think it's too late to turn him around? I think it would help if he was on punishment for more than a day or so.



Replies:
Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 12:19pm
I know someone who did it. It was expensive and didn't seem to be working.

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God forgive me for my brash delivery
But I remember vividly what these streets did to me


Posted By: Meme0887
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 12:20pm
Yeah that ^^^^

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Posted By: tropical-punch
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 12:25pm
Girl, IDK why he is acting out. IDK what could be going on with him. 


Posted By: BeatriceBean
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 12:25pm
I went to a boot camp. It worked for a two weeks, max, before I returned to my old ways.
 
Boot camps rarely get to the problems of why a child is acting out. Does your mom have any idea why he's acting out?


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Life is good!


Posted By: BeatriceBean
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 12:26pm
Originally posted by tropical-punch tropical-punch wrote:

Girl, IDK why he is acting out. IDK what could be going on with him. 
 
He won't talk to you?


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Life is good!


Posted By: Meme0887
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 12:26pm
Is he spoiled?
 


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Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 12:28pm
Y'all don't have an ig'nant aunt/uncle or granny to send him to?

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God forgive me for my brash delivery
But I remember vividly what these streets did to me


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 12:29pm
does he have a job? if not, why does he have a debit card?

-------------
God forgive me for my brash delivery
But I remember vividly what these streets did to me


Posted By: tropical-punch
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 12:29pm
Originally posted by BeatriceBean BeatriceBean wrote:

Originally posted by tropical-punch tropical-punch wrote:

Girl, IDK why he is acting out. IDK what could be going on with him. 
 
He won't talk to you?
I'm going to call him tomorrow and see what's going on.


Posted By: Ladybird0724
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 12:33pm
my BIL went thru that when he was a teenager. didn't do ish for him as he is about 29 and in jail currently for multiple probabtion violations. i have known a couple other teens that have done it and had various degrees of success

i think it can work in some cases, but there has to be follow-up and consistency at home after the experience. parents, and kids, cant fall back into the same patterns of communication and action and expect for things to get better.

i do think its best used as a last resort.

does he have a father figure? is this behavior sudden? have they thought about counseling?


-------------
It is said it takes seven years
to grow completely new skin cells.
To think, this year I will grow
into a body you never will
have touched.
— Brett Elizabeth Jenkins


Posted By: BeatriceBean
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 12:34pm
Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

does he have a job? if not, why does he have a debit card?
 
GIRL!


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Life is good!


Posted By: Finesseful
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 12:36pm
He needs a grown man to put his dick in the dirt. Boys get too mannish around that age and start smellin themselves. All teens test their parents, but if he is disrespectful day in and day out, that is a big problem.

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Make love, not war.


Posted By: Meme0887
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 12:37pm
lol I had a debit card around his age w/ no job

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Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 12:39pm
Originally posted by Meme0887 Meme0887 wrote:

lol I had a debit card around his age w/ no job

did you also have overall foul behavior?


-------------
God forgive me for my brash delivery
But I remember vividly what these streets did to me


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 12:39pm
Last night I was just thinking to myself that I wonder if people would send their unruly children to a camp where they had to live like the slaves did for like 3 months (including working in the fields).

Anyway, counseling might be a good idea to get to the root of the issue.

In the mean time he should be on serious punishment. Don't just take away the fun stuff...start taking away the basics. Make that negro sleep on the floor with just a blanket. Have him wear the same outfit everyday. Only let him eat bland oatmeal and veggies. He might rethink his attitude.


Posted By: tropical-punch
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 12:40pm
Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

does he have a job? if not, why does he have a debit card?
No job. IDK why he has a debit card either. I didn't get one until I had a job at 16


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 12:43pm
That lil nicca would a have super nintendo with one controller, a brick nokia, and $5 a week. And that would be to supplement the bag lunch his ass would be making.

I wish I would. Call me at MY job, and curse ME out? Lawd, and you are at home finagling my resources? Your momma is better than me.


-------------
God forgive me for my brash delivery
But I remember vividly what these streets did to me


Posted By: Finesseful
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 12:44pm
Kids get too much without having to earn it. I ain't get a checking account until I graduated high school and had my own money to open one. When you spoil children, they act rotten. 

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Make love, not war.


Posted By: Meme0887
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 12:48pm
Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

Originally posted by Meme0887 Meme0887 wrote:

lol I had a debit card around his age w/ no job

did you also have overall foul behavior?
 
Naw not at all...I had a small outing out stage, but it wasn't this bad..


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Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 12:48pm
Exactly, I got a bank account at 14, but my black ass had a job at 14. My first account was a pass book savings and my mother did not put money in it. I didn't expect her to do it either.

I don't know why people think there is a provision in parenting that requires you to provide the latest and greatest.


-------------
God forgive me for my brash delivery
But I remember vividly what these streets did to me


Posted By: Ladybird0724
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 12:51pm
Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

Last night I was just thinking to myself that I wonder if people would send their unruly children to a camp where they had to live like the slaves did for like 3 months (including working in the fields).

Anyway, counseling might be a good idea to get to the root of the issue.

In the mean time he should be on serious punishment. Don't just take away the fun stuff...start taking away the basics. Make that negro sleep on the floor with just a blanket. Have him wear the same outfit everyday. Only let him eat bland oatmeal and veggies. He might rethink his attitude.


that reminds me of when I was younger and acted up, EVERYTHING was taken away. it was called 'square 1'.... in my room, i just had a bed and a couple blankets. my meals were served in my room. i had 15min to shower. i was not allowed to pick out my clothes, it was chosen for me. i had to write on certain topics, like my behavior. or do extra hw that was so graciously asked for by my mother from my teachers. i had to earn everything back.


-------------
It is said it takes seven years
to grow completely new skin cells.
To think, this year I will grow
into a body you never will
have touched.
— Brett Elizabeth Jenkins


Posted By: tropical-punch
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 12:58pm
Oh and no, there isn't any family he can be sent to and he does have a dad but he really isn't much of one. Even though they live in the same house.....


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 1:01pm
Originally posted by Ladybird0724 Ladybird0724 wrote:

Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

Last night I was just thinking to myself that I wonder if people would send their unruly children to a camp where they had to live like the slaves did for like 3 months (including working in the fields).

Anyway, counseling might be a good idea to get to the root of the issue.

In the mean time he should be on serious punishment. Don't just take away the fun stuff...start taking away the basics. Make that negro sleep on the floor with just a blanket. Have him wear the same outfit everyday. Only let him eat bland oatmeal and veggies. He might rethink his attitude.


that reminds me of when I was younger and acted up, EVERYTHING was taken away. it was called 'square 1'.... in my room, i just had a bed and a couple blankets. my meals were served in my room. i had 15min to shower. i was not allowed to pick out my clothes, it was chosen for me. i had to write on certain topics, like my behavior. or do extra hw that was so graciously asked for by my mother from my teachers. i had to earn everything back.


Girl! I have been there. My foster mom was not playing...she was not about that "let kids talk crazy and run my house" life.

Came home one day, door was taken off my room. Queen bed was replaced with a baby twin with a sheet and a blanket. Everything was GONE.

Bet you I learned.


Posted By: Ladybird0724
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 1:03pm
Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

Originally posted by Ladybird0724 Ladybird0724 wrote:

Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

Last night I was just thinking to myself that I wonder if people would send their unruly children to a camp where they had to live like the slaves did for like 3 months (including working in the fields).

Anyway, counseling might be a good idea to get to the root of the issue.

In the mean time he should be on serious punishment. Don't just take away the fun stuff...start taking away the basics. Make that negro sleep on the floor with just a blanket. Have him wear the same outfit everyday. Only let him eat bland oatmeal and veggies. He might rethink his attitude.


that reminds me of when I was younger and acted up, EVERYTHING was taken away. it was called 'square 1'.... in my room, i just had a bed and a couple blankets. my meals were served in my room. i had 15min to shower. i was not allowed to pick out my clothes, it was chosen for me. i had to write on certain topics, like my behavior. or do extra hw that was so graciously asked for by my mother from my teachers. i had to earn everything back.


Girl! I have been there. My foster mom was not playing...she was not about that "let kids talk crazy and run my house" life.

Came home one day, door was taken off my room. Queen bed was replaced with a baby twin with a sheet and a blanket. Everything was GONE.

Bet you I learned.


lol! yep i learned too.

i had a door though. but it was locked on the outside and i couldn't get out. unless i was let out by her


-------------
It is said it takes seven years
to grow completely new skin cells.
To think, this year I will grow
into a body you never will
have touched.
— Brett Elizabeth Jenkins


Posted By: Meme0887
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 1:03pm
Stern Smile wow
 
All they had to do was whoop me...


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Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 1:10pm
Originally posted by Ladybird0724 Ladybird0724 wrote:

Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

Originally posted by Ladybird0724 Ladybird0724 wrote:

Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

Last night I was just thinking to myself that I wonder if people would send their unruly children to a camp where they had to live like the slaves did for like 3 months (including working in the fields).

Anyway, counseling might be a good idea to get to the root of the issue.

In the mean time he should be on serious punishment. Don't just take away the fun stuff...start taking away the basics. Make that negro sleep on the floor with just a blanket. Have him wear the same outfit everyday. Only let him eat bland oatmeal and veggies. He might rethink his attitude.


that reminds me of when I was younger and acted up, EVERYTHING was taken away. it was called 'square 1'.... in my room, i just had a bed and a couple blankets. my meals were served in my room. i had 15min to shower. i was not allowed to pick out my clothes, it was chosen for me. i had to write on certain topics, like my behavior. or do extra hw that was so graciously asked for by my mother from my teachers. i had to earn everything back.


Girl! I have been there. My foster mom was not playing...she was not about that "let kids talk crazy and run my house" life.

Came home one day, door was taken off my room. Queen bed was replaced with a baby twin with a sheet and a blanket. Everything was GONE.

Bet you I learned.


lol! yep i learned too.

i had a door though. but it was locked on the outside and i couldn't get out. unless i was let out by her


Oh see my foster mom couldn't do that because it would have been against the law. But she knew me well enough to know that the lack of privacy would get to me way more.

She would also make me get in bed with the lights off as early as possible...if I was done with chores and homework at 7pm then that was my bed time.

Sometimes you have to get crazy on these children.


Posted By: Flowing-Ice
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 1:12pm
are other things suffering as well?
his schoolwork? what kind of friends does he have?
have you guys spoken to his teachers? 

what is his normal day like? is he doing drugs?
i think you can try to pinpoint what is going on with him. 


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And Jean Paul Gaultier and a Hermes bag and four inch tips made of ostrich ;Sharp enough to slit your wrists her lips spread gossip ;Won't say sorry when she offends


Posted By: ceme
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 1:12pm
Originally posted by Positive K Positive K wrote:

sounds like he got no male figure....yall gotta try to get a uncle or something to get him right.....box some of that disrespect outta him...just make sure they don't videotape it and put it online or some folks will think he taking it too far
 
Yes sir.
Too many soft folks in the world today.
My brother tried it and got boxed by my dad. Plain and simple.
Didn't wait till it was a pattern.
 
Calling me at work...yeah ok LOL
 


Posted By: mommykat
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 1:36pm
Originally posted by Finesseful Finesseful wrote:

Kids get too much without having to earn it. I ain't get a checking account until I graduated high school and had my own money to open one. When you spoil children, they act rotten. 



IA. ...
However, it is hard to discipline an almost four-year-old little boy… Meh.
I give myself a timeout…


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Posted By: newdiva1
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 1:41pm
Originally posted by tropical-punch tropical-punch wrote:

Oh and no, there isn't any family he can be sent to and he does have a dad but he really isn't much of one. Even though they live in the same house.....
 
 
 
I actually said "b*tch what?!" out loud.  I'm sorry tropical. 
 
I hope u find out what's behind his behavior.  that's the key to this.  I hope mom's makes it thru since it seems dad ain't doing sh*t.


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Chris and Koochie split! - Mrshairdo

Sometimes when sh*t happens...you say fucc - Cyndi Lauper

let's look death in the face and say "whatever man". -Hurley.


Posted By: newdiva1
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 1:44pm

shiiiiid....all I needed was my books taken away and I was beggin' and pleadin' for the sympathy...



-------------
Chris and Koochie split! - Mrshairdo

Sometimes when sh*t happens...you say fucc - Cyndi Lauper

let's look death in the face and say "whatever man". -Hurley.


Posted By: mommykat
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 1:44pm
Originally posted by newdiva1 newdiva1 wrote:

Originally posted by tropical-punch tropical-punch wrote:

Oh and no, there isn't any family he can be sent to and he does have a dad but he really isn't much of one. Even though they live in the same house.....
 
 

 

I actually said "b*tch what?!" out loud.  I'm sorry tropical. 

 

I hope u find out what's behind his behavior.  that's the key to this.  I hope mom's makes it thru since it seems dad ain't doing sh*t.




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Posted By: Finesseful
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 1:46pm
Originally posted by mommykat mommykat wrote:

Originally posted by Finesseful Finesseful wrote:

Kids get too much without having to earn it. I ain't get a checking account until I graduated high school and had my own money to open one. When you spoil children, they act rotten. 



IA. ...
However, it is hard to discipline an almost four-year-old little boy… Meh.
I give myself a timeout…


LOL you better whoop his lil ass with a switch.


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Make love, not war.


Posted By: mommykat
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 1:48pm
Originally posted by Finesseful Finesseful wrote:


Originally posted by mommykat mommykat wrote:

Originally posted by Finesseful Finesseful wrote:

Kids get too much without having to earn it. I ain't get a checking account until I graduated high school and had my own money to open one. When you spoil children, they act rotten. 



IA. ...
However, it is hard to discipline an almost four-year-old little boy… Meh.
I give myself a timeout…


LOL you better whoop his lil ass with a switch.


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Posted By: Flowing-Ice
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 1:50pm
i don't think spoiled children curse their parents out. 

-------------
And Jean Paul Gaultier and a Hermes bag and four inch tips made of ostrich ;Sharp enough to slit your wrists her lips spread gossip ;Won't say sorry when she offends


Posted By: Finesseful
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 2:25pm
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:

Originally posted by Flowing-Ice Flowing-Ice wrote:

i don't think spoiled children curse their parents out. 


there is a difference between spoiled and well taken care of


Exactly. Spoiled children have a sense of entitlement.


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Make love, not war.


Posted By: sugabanana
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 2:32pm
I smell a bully at school is messing with him so he takes his frustrations out at home. Either that or his taco meat chest hairs have multiplied and he is trying to man up. What is dad doing?? You see moments like this needs that video from the other day where the boy was getting pummeled by his uncle for disrespect.
Who gonna pay the bills if mama gets fired for his dumb arse calls yelling all crazy.



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Russell hired me to police those who STAR these non-sensical threads!!!He said I should feel free to point them out!!


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 2:51pm
We need more details on his personality. How long has he been acting like this?


Posted By: Ladybird0724
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 2:57pm
if his father lives in the same home as him, does he act disrespectful to his father too? 

-------------
It is said it takes seven years
to grow completely new skin cells.
To think, this year I will grow
into a body you never will
have touched.
— Brett Elizabeth Jenkins


Posted By: tropical-punch
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 11:10pm
He has anger issues as well. He once took a sharpie and wrote the word "hate" all over his closet. He has threatened suicide a number of times. He never thinks he does anything wrong and challenges my mom when she tells him to do something.

His schoolwork is suffering and has been for along time. He's barely passing some classes and has failed others.

His friends, IDK how they act in their own homes but from what I've seen they act alright. My mom thinks maybe he's getting this from his friends though.

Yes, he's yelled at my dad before too and been disrespectful and he's been yoked up for it. It hasn't changed his behavior. He calls my grandma crying then she calls my mom and threatens to call the cops on my dad. I think my dad just gave up trying to discipline him.

My mom actually told me she doesn't want to tell my dad all that has been going on because he will tell her that he's been telling her the boy is disrespectful but she's been letting it slide. Putting the blame on her.


Posted By: Lite Brite
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 11:15pm
Originally posted by Positive K Positive K wrote:

sounds like he got no male figure....yall gotta try to get a uncle or something to get him right.....box some of that disrespect outta him...just make sure they don't videotape it and put it online or some folks will think he taking it too far



LOL


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jan 31 2013 at 11:47pm
Originally posted by tropical-punch tropical-punch wrote:

He has anger issues as well. He once took a sharpie and wrote the word "hate" all over his closet. He has threatened suicide a number of times. He never thinks he does anything wrong and challenges my mom when she tells him to do something.

His schoolwork is suffering and has been for along time. He's barely passing some classes and has failed others.

His friends, IDK how they act in their own homes but from what I've seen they act alright. My mom thinks maybe he's getting this from his friends though.

Yes, he's yelled at my dad before too and been disrespectful and he's been yoked up for it. It hasn't changed his behavior. He calls my grandma crying then she calls my mom and threatens to call the cops on my dad. I think my dad just gave up trying to discipline him.

My mom actually told me she doesn't want to tell my dad all that has been going on because he will tell her that he's been telling her the boy is disrespectful but she's been letting it slide. Putting the blame on her.


The bold indicates there needs to be some sort of counseling.

He needs to learn there are consequences for his actions, serious ones. First of all, if he threatens suicide, call the police. If he's really trying to kill himself, then that saves his life. If he's not, he needs to know that doing that is not funny nor is it ok to use that type of emotional blackmail on his parents. That is not something to just let slide. A 24 hour hold would probably be enough for him to learn to never do that again if he's just using it to scare your mom.

Second, if he's barely passing classes then his parents need to figure out an educational intervention. Especially if he won't be able to graduate on time as a result. Maybe it would be better for him to get his High School Equivalency or GED and then go to community college or trade school.

Your parents need to lay down the law about what they will and will not accept and then follow through. Nothing changes if nothing changes. Make it a requirement to go to therapy, get passing grades, work, and whatever else or else all he'll get is a blanket, some oatmeal, and a raggedy outfit from the dollar store. And if he doesn't like it, he can get the hell out.


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Feb 01 2013 at 12:09am
I'm going to plus one maysay.

If he's threatening suicide, bootcamp won't help, he needs therapy and perhaps mom & dad could use some parenting help while getting him on the right track.


I just really can't even imagine being a teen so out my rational mind that calling my dad up at work and yellin' at him seems like a pretty good idea. That sounds like a death wish even as an adult lol.


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<--Classy & Educated O.

"You're telling us your beefing with your bf's mother over $1 ice cream like it was blood diamonds." RickyR



Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Feb 01 2013 at 12:16am
I also think maysay gave really good advice...

To add, I'm sorry that you and your family are going through this. It's very hard to watch your baby bro/sis suffer in ways you can't help with.


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Feb 01 2013 at 12:17am
Man..If I did any of that to my parents, I don't think I will be here today LOL


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yo


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Feb 01 2013 at 1:32am
^Right?

I hope he gets help while he is still young and can turn it all around.


-------------
<--Classy & Educated O.

"You're telling us your beefing with your bf's mother over $1 ice cream like it was blood diamonds." RickyR



Posted By: tropical-punch
Date Posted: Feb 01 2013 at 1:35am
I really do appreciate the advise. The only sad thing is I know my mom won't listen to any of it :(



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