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money and friends.

Printed From: Black Hair Media Forum
Category: Lets Talk
Forum Name: Talk, Talk, and More Talk
Forum Description: In this Forum, the talk is about everything that can be talked about.
URL: http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=353980
Printed Date: Nov 21 2018 at 9:59am


Topic: money and friends.
Posted By: sbrownie84
Subject: money and friends.
Date Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 8:51am
So I just started a new 'friendship' with this girl  who seems to bring up the subject of money. While talking she made a statement to me: "I do not live for free like you".  I found it strange because I do not live for free, I pay rent, and I thought it was strange of her to be checking for my living situation since I have never discussed these things with her. 

How open are you with your friend/acquaintences about money? Do you discuss your salary and other things with them?



Replies:
Posted By: James Avery
Date Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 8:54am

me and the members of my faction do not discuss our money.



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God bless




Posted By: JamCaygirl
Date Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 9:04am
My friends and I are in the same socio economic bracket... money doesnt need to be discussed, there is no call for it...

Now my family, that is another issue.... I never bring up money with them as in their minds I have too much and they don't have enough, and they're forever trying to "solve that equation"....


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Out of many, one people.....
Happy 50th JAMAICA!


Posted By: Naturalchick30
Date Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 9:05am
It's none of their business really...

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Posted By: Lady ICE
Date Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 9:24am
i always talk about money with ppl. not a big deal to us. well not with ppl i just formed *friendships* with.

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Posted By: goodm3
Date Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 9:29am
People will always try to "count your coins" ...that's where the whole "so what do you do for a living?" question comes from. But I'm way to private to discuss money with anyone. 


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 9:42am
yes we talk about it. No biggie.

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PEACE


Posted By: OrriannaRose
Date Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 9:47am
Originally posted by sbrownie84 sbrownie84 wrote:

While talking she made a statement to me: "I do not live for free like you".  I found it strange because I do not live for free, I pay rent, and I thought it was strange of her to be checking for my living situation since I have never discussed these things with her. 

 
What was your response? I hate people that throw out random insults all willy nilly like that. Pinch


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Posted By: Miss SDY
Date Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 9:54am
Friends and money sometimes don't mix..
I don't mind talking about the cost of certain things and averages..
I'm not going to divulge in what I make..
All they need to know that I make enough to pay for all of my needs and some of my wants..
I'm a really private person..

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http://daisypath.com" rel="nofollow">

NL----[SL]----APL----BSB----BSL

Closing in on APL!!!



Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 10:43am
i know how much all my friends make. its no big deal. but we have all been friends for 12+ yrs. i wouldnt discuss money matters with someone im just getting to know.


Posted By: whitrhymes
Date Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 11:06am
I discuss money with my closest friends... We are pretty open abotu it, however no one has ever asked about actually salaries, that I know of. If they did I wouldnt have an issue telling them what I make.

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I know you aint a pimp but pimp remember what I taught ya
Keep your heart 3 stacks, keep your heart


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 11:59am
We're open about money. I find that it helps all of us because we learn from each other and we're able to support each other in our goals.

I wish black people talked about money a lot more. Our community would be so much better for it.


Posted By: BeatriceBean
Date Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 12:17pm

If you feel uncomfortable with discussing it, or with her take on it, then you shouldn't talk about it.

 
With her or with anyone. If you don't like it, don't do it.
 
 
I discuss money with some friends and don't discuss it with others.


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Life is good!


Posted By: sugabanana
Date Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 12:25pm
Nope I only discussed it with one co-worker at a corporate job I had at the time and she snitched and told HR that I made more than her. Never Again. Lesson Learned. I was getting to comfortable with the black folk at that job all 5 of us

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Russell hired me to police those who STAR these non-sensical threads!!!He said I should feel free to point them out!!


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 12:30pm
^^isn't that in the employee handbook? lol

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PEACE


Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 12:30pm
I have no problem talking about money.. Especially when asked


Posted By: ShadyLady
Date Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 12:30pm
I wouldn't trust someone I met trying to count whats in my pockets, especially with an unnecessary comment like that.

My best friends and I discuss money freely. No big deal. I'd never talk about it with someone I'm not close with or don't trust.

If I don't know or trust you, don't worry bout what I make or how I spend it. As long as I don't have a hand out for yours, we good.


Posted By: Az~Maverick
Date Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 12:35pm
Dump her. She sounds like she'll be one of those jealous bishes. Ain't nobody got time for that.


Posted By: niecy
Date Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 1:21pm
No. It ain't none of their business plus I don't need nobody in my pocketbook trying to tell me how I should spend my money just because it's not being spent the way they would like. Also, people tend to be be rs I don't want nobody to feel like because they know my amount of income that gives them free reign to ask to "borrow" money whenever they want just because they think I have it to give.


Posted By: tamela10289
Date Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 2:20pm
I do discuss money with friends to an extent. I don't mind telling people how much I make, I'll also tell you my bills in the same breath. Once I'm done they see we are in the same situation, we're both broke. I don't discuss what I do with my spare money, because that's none of there business, because some will feel like if you can go out and buy this then you can give or loan me this then.


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 2:25pm
It depends. If we are just talking about money in a general sense then it's cool. I don't like when people question how I bought something or how much it costs. I know someone who is always asking ppl how much their rent is or how much something costs and I think it's tacky unless in certain context.


Posted By: dreamz
Date Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 3:10pm
We have a no new friends thing for the last decade or so Lol, but i talk generally about money with my friends. We love to pass on ways to make more by working smarter, not harder.

We all are in the same socio-economic bracket too though, so specifics really need not be discussed.

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specs: handmade 8" kinky curly upart wig. wefts purchased from http://www.kinkycurlyyaki.com


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 4:22pm
I don't mind discussing money. Just don't expect me to give you a cent.


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yo


Posted By: ImThatDiva
Date Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 5:32pm
I know how you feel.
Not trying to brag:I grew up fortunate and luckily still am. My family is not Trump rich, but we are well off. My salary is none of my friends' business and the same vice versa. The majority of my friends are of the same socioeconomic status but some aren't. They are the ones who sometimes make me Sleepy. I've never liked and still don't like when some of my friends make off comments. We don't really discuss money but you can tell who is doing well and who is struggling a bit.
Over the weekend I had a lunch date with a friend. She called me last minute to cancel and said something like "well we all don't have money like you to be going out to eat all of the time"Which I don't. Even though she said it in jest it still made me feel somewhat Ermm

I say you should let her know how you feel or let her go.


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Mrs.ImThatModdlessDiva
TWERKIN' MY WAY DOWNTOWN
CARS DRIVE PAST
DRIVERS CRASH AND I'M LOWDOWN
-Midna


Posted By: Qualified
Date Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 5:44pm
My crew and I are tight nit- 20-30 years, we knew when we had $100 between all of us (struggling students) and salary, severances, annuities, investments, disability, unemployment, child support paymemts, alimony- we know it all, because we share everything. But we dont feel entitled to find out, we just discuss things very openly. That being said, Im not in the business of discussing my money with random folks all willy nilly. I've found, especially since I've been unemployed, folks that are just loose associates have been very inquisitive about my finances and the means for which I survive.



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I Would rather eat crumbs with bums than share steak with snakes-

The token "instigatory thanks" on nonsenical posts always kill me.


Posted By: pattigurlatl
Date Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 5:56pm
I talk about it openly whether I have nothing or whether I am doing well. < id="adlesse_unifier_magic_element_id" style="display:none;">

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Harriet Tubman - I freed a thousands slaves. I would have freed more had they known they were slaves.

Michael Harriot - She wouldn't have freed any if she was worried about her hair.


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 6:13pm
Originally posted by Qualified Qualified wrote:

My crew and I are tight nit- 20-30 years, we knew when we had $100 between all of us (struggling students) and salary, severances, annuities, investments, disability, unemployment, child support paymemts, alimony- we know it all, because we share everything. But we dont feel entitled to find out, we just discuss things very openly. That being said, Im not in the business of discussing my money with random folks all willy nilly. I've found, especially since I've been unemployed, folks that are just loose associates have been very inquisitive about my finances and the means for which I survive.



Heart said so much better than I could have.

 


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PEACE


Posted By: sbrownie84
Date Posted: May 13 2013 at 8:31pm
Originally posted by ShadyLady ShadyLady wrote:

I wouldn't trust someone I met trying to count whats in my pockets, especially with an unnecessary comment like that.

My best friends and I discuss money freely. No big deal. I'd never talk about it with someone I'm not close with or don't trust.

If I don't know or trust you, don't worry bout what I make or how I spend it. As long as I don't have a hand out for yours, we good.

I'm just curious as to why you don't think I should trust a person like that.. What's your opinion?


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: May 13 2013 at 8:37pm
I don't know if this has been said before, but this "new friendship" of yours does not look promising. Watch your back.


Posted By: modelbusiness82
Date Posted: May 13 2013 at 9:59pm
Originally posted by JamCaygirl JamCaygirl wrote:

My friends and I are in the same socio economic bracket... money doesnt need to be discussed, there is no call for it...



This...

and I hope OP checked the girl. Whether you pay for everything out of your own pocket or you have a sponsor/SO who takes care of you is none of her business. She sounds messy & jealous.

ETA:

I learned a long time ago not to assume that because someone has nice "things" that they're financially okay. For the past few years, I've run in a circle full of people in the high profile blogger circuit. Lots of them are being gifted ridiculous things - including cars, nice vacays, etc. So, on the surface their life could be considered "enviable". But, that doesn't always mean their bank accounts are matching the lifestyle they're living.

Long story short, my bank account is my business & your bank account is your business. Unless we're discussing how to collectively move up the ladder, your financial issues are none of my concern.


Posted By: ShadyLady
Date Posted: May 13 2013 at 10:08pm
Originally posted by sbrownie84 sbrownie84 wrote:

Originally posted by ShadyLady ShadyLady wrote:

I wouldn't trust someone I met trying to count whats in my pockets, especially with an unnecessary comment like that.

My best friends and I discuss money freely. No big deal. I'd never talk about it with someone I'm not close with or don't trust.

If I don't know or trust you, don't worry bout what I make or how I spend it. As long as I don't have a hand out for yours, we good.


I'm just curious as to why you don't think I should trust a person like that.. What's your opinion?


People who don't even know you like that and are already trying to gauge what you have are usually bitter cuz they don't have it, or plotting to see what you have so they can hit you up for something.


Posted By: newdiva1
Date Posted: May 13 2013 at 10:13pm
I don't discuss money with "new friends".  I will say i've never had "new friends" ask about my finances.  All that matters is can u lunch with us at Club Cafe on Saturday.


Posted By: sbrownie84
Date Posted: May 13 2013 at 10:52pm
Originally posted by ShadyLady ShadyLady wrote:

Originally posted by sbrownie84 sbrownie84 wrote:

[QUOTE=ShadyLady]I wouldn't trust someone I met trying to count whats in my pockets, especially with an unnecessary comment like that.

My best friends and I discuss money freely. No big deal. I'd never talk about it with someone I'm not close with or don't trust.

If I don't know or trust you, don't worry bout what I make or how I spend it. As long as I don't have a hand out for yours, we good.


I'm just curious as to why you don't think I should trust a person like that.. What's your opinion?


People who don't even know you like that and are already trying to gauge what you have are usually bitter cuz they don't have it, or plotting to see what you have so they can hit you up for something.[/QUOTE

Gotcha! makes sense


Posted By: naturesgift
Date Posted: May 13 2013 at 11:31pm
I need some NEW Friends~ ones with more MONEY! I need it to rub off On me



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