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At What Point do you completely trust someone

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Forum Name: Talk, Talk, and More Talk
Forum Description: In this Forum, the talk is about everything that can be talked about.
URL: http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=352790
Printed Date: Nov 18 2017 at 12:49am


Topic: At What Point do you completely trust someone
Posted By: eanaj5
Subject: At What Point do you completely trust someone
Date Posted: Dec 31 2012 at 8:52pm
ur dating/seeing?

We all hear the stories of people being murdered/beaten/etc by someone they were dating or even married to. We've also been told to 'be careful' because there are 'crazy people in the world' When do you personally feel safe enough with a person you are talking to to "let your guard down"? What do you look for or how do you test them?


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Replies:
Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: Dec 31 2012 at 8:54pm
I don't.

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Posted By: lovelife
Date Posted: Dec 31 2012 at 8:54pm
Never

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Posted By: eanaj5
Date Posted: Dec 31 2012 at 8:54pm
^ Isnt that draining though?

Is it just something thats in the back of your head or is it a constant waiting game, waiting for the other person to slip up?


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Posted By: CuteNSweet
Date Posted: Dec 31 2012 at 8:55pm
Originally posted by Midna Midna wrote:

I don't.
 
Me either.  Never fully trusted before.


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Dec 31 2012 at 8:55pm
at the funeral?

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PEACE


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Dec 31 2012 at 8:59pm
Healthy skepticism is a good thing in my opinion.
I don't think it's draining but you can never be too sure.

I trust 4 ppl completely and if I'm ever done in by my sisters and parents then so be it.
Well more family members too.



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Never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee
Donne

Havmercy Dez Bryant


Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Dec 31 2012 at 9:10pm
Originally posted by PurpleHaze PurpleHaze wrote:

at the funeral?
 
LOL


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you say i need some time to meditate...naaaaah b*tch i'm fly! i need time to levitate... ~yeezy


dacoldesteva


Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: Dec 31 2012 at 9:17pm
Originally posted by eanaj5 eanaj5 wrote:

^ Isnt that draining though?

Is it just something thats in the back of your head or is it a constant waiting game, waiting for the other person to slip up?


It'd be draining if I actually outright distrusted them and expected them to do bad and always kept on my toes.

But not fully trusting someone isn't draining purely because trust is earned. The reason why someone cannot fully earn all of my trust is because they have the potential to break my trust.

In other words, they are human and to expect perfection out of them is putting my hopes up way too high. My hope for them can raise as they earn my trust, but I see no reason to expect flawlessness out of someone when they aren't a flawless being.


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Posted By: Jess
Date Posted: Dec 31 2012 at 9:18pm
Originally posted by lovelife lovelife wrote:

Never
Clap

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Posted By: Lady ICE
Date Posted: Dec 31 2012 at 9:42pm
i never do. i can love you to death but i dont let my guard down...ppl are low down shady

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Posted By: SoutherNtellect
Date Posted: Dec 31 2012 at 9:45pm
nevaaar


Posted By: khivey
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 4:53am
when they will tell me the truth even when they know it will hurt me or piss me off.

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Hair Type:3c/4a
Hair Length:SBL
“The approval of others often forms an essential part of our capacity to think we are right.”


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 4:55am
yall are a cheerful bunch

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I'm from The Wishanicca Woods boo-Dreamz

If you are or have ever been a member of BHM, you are inherently a hoodrat.B


Posted By: Az~Maverick
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 5:25am
People are human. And humans make mistakes. Therefore, I can NEVER fully trust someone. Period.


Posted By: beautiful_hair
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 6:16am
I will never truly trust anyone.

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You want space? I can give you so much f'ing space you'll think you're an astronaut.


Posted By: H0tg1rl
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 7:50am
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

yall are a cheerful bunch

Lol


Posted By: Jewelsnyc
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 8:05am
I have a fear if trusting anyone fully. I've been hurt so many times. But there is one person who I know thinks more about my feelings and there intentions are pure & primarily for my benefit.

This trust was built over years & years thru many ups & downs.

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You gon get this work Nicca


Posted By: Prazol60
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 8:12am
I know when I feel it in my heart. I can't really put into words but I know when it happens. 


Posted By: James Avery
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 8:53am
tbh i put all my trust in a relationship when we're both on the same page emotionally. i don't hold back.


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God bless




Posted By: Naturalchick30
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 8:55am
Originally posted by PurpleHaze PurpleHaze wrote:

at the funeral?


Posted By: HeyBeautiful18
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 9:00am
I dont think I have ever completely trusted someone, even someone I was dating

My wall is hard to break down  


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#TeamTN
#CHOGH



Posted By: keelolo1
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 9:21am
Never. I don't even trust myself.


Posted By: iSMILE13
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 10:20am
I trust you until you give me a reason not to

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Be humble or get him humbled

Ignore typos...autocorrect won't let me be great


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 10:24am
trusting people doesn't mean you'll never be disappointed or that they'll never let you down. that's impossible. it's how you both respond to that situation when it arises that is telling about your relationship

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I'm from The Wishanicca Woods boo-Dreamz

If you are or have ever been a member of BHM, you are inherently a hoodrat.B


Posted By: SoutherNtellect
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 10:34am
in that case, i fully trust that youll disappoint me inevitably 


Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 10:35am

just be objective, if you start to see red flags don't ignore them

but until you do, just live and love instead of waiting for the next foot to drop because then it will




Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 10:59am
remember dangerous minds when she says, you all have A's, and its up to you to keep them at the end of the semester? or maybe that was that sister act movie,

anyway, thats me, i give trust right from the start, its up to you to maintain that trust.



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I just can't stand the negro british midget. He brings out the worst in me.....

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I sometimes think AfroK is gay and either doesn't know it or won't admit to it..


Posted By: Lilaca
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 11:09am
Originally posted by lovelife lovelife wrote:

Never
This.


Trust no bish/manbish


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Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 11:47am


do you guys mean that you can't fully rely on your people to genuinely do right by you?  

what betrayal of trust are we talking about here ... incompetence, dishonesty/deception, malevolence?  

something else?




Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 11:47am
no one said be naive now



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I just can't stand the negro british midget. He brings out the worst in me.....

...
I sometimes think AfroK is gay and either doesn't know it or won't admit to it..


Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 12:19pm


are we still talking about our people or have we shifted to strangers?

or do you guys believe that whomever you deem to be your people will inevitably prove themselves to be incompetent, dishonest/deceptive, malevolent




Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 12:23pm

I'm not judging btw

I'm genuinely curious ... because I've never looked at people that I consider to be my people this way

and I consider my side eye keen




Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 12:32pm

ok just saw your response SL

I thought you guys might've started talking about strangers rather than people you're dating/seeing or married to like in the OP








Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 12:35pm

lol just saw your post 

yeah my side eye is keen with new people, especially people auditioning for the inner circle ... I trust them with things that aren't vital until their intentions become clearer and clearer

it's natural to be skeptical of strangers, acquaintances or people that have shown themselves to be untrustworthy and I do have my people that I've known for years that I still keep at arms length 

but I wouldnt say that I feel they'll inevitably mess up/harm/deceive me but I also don't put myself in situations where I'd have to rely on them either

interesting to read how other people tick






Posted By: dijah.love
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 12:37pm
I never "completely" trust anyone, however, everyone starts off with a normal amount of trust.

When they do their first trife-life blunder, the little bit I had is gone completely.


Posted By: SoutherNtellect
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 12:45pm
the one thing ive tried to disclose to people always gets thrown back in my face as if im supposed to believe its an insult


Posted By: OoDles O
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 1:35pm
I dont know

eventually you decide that its worth it to trust this person completely and take the leap.

Sometimes you can openly trust someone with one thing and completely not trust them with something else.


Posted By: melikey
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 1:38pm
I don't have even trust myself.

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shine your light for the world to see


Posted By: melikey
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 1:40pm
Oh, and I never think/assume people are lying or deceitful unless the say/do something that doesn't line up.

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shine your light for the world to see


Posted By: Yardgirl
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 1:42pm
I trust him not to physically harm me or cheat on me but I don't trust him with my future.

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Posted By: newdiva1
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 3:39pm
hmmm....from what i've read on here.  U don't.  Not your girlfriend, not your husband, not nobody.  U do not completely and fully trust no one.

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Chris and Koochie split! - Mrshairdo

Sometimes when sh*t happens...you say fucc - Cyndi Lauper

let's look death in the face and say "whatever man". -Hurley.


Posted By: Miss SDY
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 4:28pm
I will put it this way, the very few people that I trust completely have earned it. It took them years to earn my trust. The only people who I truly ever trusted with every fiber of my being was my Mom(RIP) and my sister. I started my permanent inner circle out with the normal trust that people start out with when becoming friends.. Over time, the trust I had in them grew and grew and now I trust them completely and vice versa.
 
Anyone that happens to come along in my future will have the normal amount of trust that people have when beginning to get to know people. They will have to pass the test of time to get in my heart and inner circle..


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Closing in on APL!!!



Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 4:30pm
It's nothing I think about , it's not like I'm looking over my shoulder day and night.


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Never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee
Donne

Havmercy Dez Bryant


Posted By: StylingArabella
Date Posted: Jan 01 2013 at 7:33pm
I trust that people are gonna do what they are gonna do. Some people have predictable behaviors that are consistent...however trusting someone completely, never.



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