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Do exes always come back?

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Topic: Do exes always come back?
Posted By: BeatriceBean
Subject: Do exes always come back?
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 10:09am
Good morning BHM,
 
A young lady sent me a PM asking if I could make this thread.
 
Her ex-boyfriend recently broke up with her, and she still wants to be with him. Her question is, in your experiences, have your exes tried to get back with you?
 
I told her what I think...what do you think?


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Life is good!



Replies:
Posted By: danieb23
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 10:15am
9 times out of 10 they will try again at some point.


Posted By: babyk94
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 10:16am
Originally posted by danieb23 danieb23 wrote:

9 times out of 10 they will try again at some point.
This


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 10:16am
1. depends on why he broke up with her

2. if they come back its usually for all the wrong reasons

but all depends on number one

(from a guys perspective)

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I just can't stand the negro british midget. He brings out the worst in me.....

...
I sometimes think AfroK is gay and either doesn't know it or won't admit to it..


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 10:18am
mine always do.


Posted By: tbaby123
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 10:18am


i've only had one guy break up with me (i havent had that many boyfriends though lol) and he tried to get back together but he should've known better than to break up with me in the first place.. 

so nah yo 


Posted By: tatee
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 10:19am
that initial reason for breaking up is probably the right one.  getting back together is probably out of fear.


Posted By: BeatriceBean
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 10:21am
Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

1. depends on why he broke up with her

2. if they come back its usually for all the wrong reasons

but all depends on number one

(from a guys perspective)
 
Have your exes ever tried to get back with you?


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Life is good!


Posted By: Lady ICE
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 10:22am
they always do. 

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Posted By: James Avery
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 10:24am
i've been the ex begging to come back and i've had exe's try to come back. IT DOESN'T WORK. best advice i can give is to move on.
 
the other's persons intentions to get back with you might be on some friends with benefits type of sh*t tbh. i don't know about your friend but my heart can only take so much.


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God bless




Posted By: tatee
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 10:32am
this reminds me of something *&%^$#@Eed up i did in my last relationship. when things started get bad between us she said she wanted to end it. since ive always been the one to end things first, i smoothed things over with her so we wouldnt break-up and then broke up with her a few weeks later just to keep my record in tact.



Posted By: James Avery
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 10:35am

damn tatee, that was fcked up.



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God bless




Posted By: tatee
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 10:38am
Originally posted by James Avery James Avery wrote:

damn tatee, that was fcked up.





Posted By: Miss SDY
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 10:44am
With my experiences, yes.. I've had 3 this year try to come crawling back. I rarely try again.. I go through a lot of emotions getting over them. Once I finally heal, I feel no emotion toward them. By then, they always want to come back..

But I agree it does depend on why it ended to begin with..

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http://daisypath.com" rel="nofollow">

NL----[SL]----APL----BSB----BSL

Closing in on APL!!!



Posted By: Princess_S
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 10:47am
Originally posted by Miss SDY Miss SDY wrote:

With my experiences, yes.. I've had 3 this year try to come crawling back. I rarely try again.. I go through a lot of emotions getting over them. Once I finally heal, I feel no emotion toward them. By then, they always want to come back..

But I agree it does depend on why it ended to begin with..
 
This is me.


Posted By: Lite Brite
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 10:51am
Yep always. But like James said, i wouldnt necessarily recommend it. Hes probably a loser


Posted By: BeatriceBean
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 10:56am

With the ok of the young lady:

 
He said that she's a wonderful girl and that he cares about her, but he's not in love with her.
 
 
And I agree with you all. He made it clear how he feels, she knows, and anything beyond that is a way to waste/fill time and opening the door for even greater heartbreak. Granted, there are relationships that survive after break-ups, but I wouldn't bank on it.


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Life is good!


Posted By: goodm3
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 11:00am
Originally posted by BeatriceBean BeatriceBean wrote:

With the ok of the young lady:

 
He said that she's a wonderful girl and that he cares about her, but he's not in love with her.
 
 
And I agree with you all. He made it clear how he feels, she knows, and anything beyond that is a way to waste/fill time and opening the door for even greater heartbreak. Granted, there are relationships that survive after break-ups, but I wouldn't bank on it.

she needs to move on.


Posted By: tropical-punch
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 11:30am
Always


Posted By: Samoneisthebest
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 11:34am
Every single one.

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Can't even twerk no mo. They tired out. Lets ride out.


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 11:34am
mine did not.
i told him i could not speak to him for a year
it has now been 5


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I'm from The Wishanicca Woods boo-Dreamz

If you are or have ever been a member of BHM, you are inherently a hoodrat.B


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 11:36am
Originally posted by BeatriceBean BeatriceBean wrote:

Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

1. depends on why he broke up with her

2. if they come back its usually for all the wrong reasons

but all depends on number one

(from a guys perspective)

 

Have your exes ever tried to get back with you?
yes!!

One appears every two years oddly its the same one I had an on off relationship



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I just can't stand the negro british midget. He brings out the worst in me.....

...
I sometimes think AfroK is gay and either doesn't know it or won't admit to it..


Posted By: Sang Froid
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 11:38am
I'll always....come back to you......

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Posted By: lovelife
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 11:38am
yes.
all of mine have.
even the sort of/kind of exs that were never official.
there's only one that got away Disapprove he was fine, but immature so idc.


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http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker" rel="nofollow">


Posted By: LushHair_Fein
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 11:41am
Originally posted by danieb23 danieb23 wrote:

9 times out of 10 they will try again at some point.
 
Originally posted by Miss SDY Miss SDY wrote:

With my experiences, yes.. I've had 3 this year try to come crawling back. I rarely try again.. I go through a lot of emotions getting over them. Once I finally heal, I feel no emotion toward them. By then, they always want to come back..

But I agree it does depend on why it ended to begin with..


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Educate before speculate..............


Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 11:43am
pretty much...

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you say i need some time to meditate...naaaaah b*tch i'm fly! i need time to levitate... ~yeezy


dacoldesteva


Posted By: 313chick
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 12:04pm
Originally posted by tbaby123 tbaby123 wrote:



i've only had one guy break up with me (i havent had that many boyfriends though lol) and he tried to get back together but he should've known better than to break up with me in the first place.. 

so nah yo 


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Posted By: Ladycoils
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 12:26pm
For the most they come back unless you have unleashed a can of crazy on him. ie.. damages his belongings or stalked.

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To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.


Posted By: solena
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 12:32pm
Yes once they see that you're moving on or the one they got with after you breaks their heart and bank accounts. It's always best to Kim.


Posted By: fairyQueen092
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 12:32pm
Sigh, mine dont

Eta: actually no he did a month later but changed his mind

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Bhm sucks. Lets see how long it will take to get siggys back -__-


Posted By: OoDles O
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 12:40pm
I broke it off with 2.

I didn't try to get back with both...
I still talk to one from time to time though but I'm not interested in a romantic relationship + she has a kid now.

in any case.. tell this young lady that he did her a favor and now its time to heal before she becomes ... 


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 12:49pm
Lol

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I just can't stand the negro british midget. He brings out the worst in me.....

...
I sometimes think AfroK is gay and either doesn't know it or won't admit to it..


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 12:51pm
yes but I would never (have never) get back with an ex for any good reason.

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PEACE


Posted By: Bekah
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 12:57pm
Originally posted by tatee tatee wrote:

this reminds me of something *&%^$#@Eed up i did in my last relationship. when things started get bad between us she said she wanted to end it. since ive always been the one to end things first, i smoothed things over with her so we wouldnt break-up and then broke up with her a few weeks later just to keep my record in tact.


Dead Sounds like something i'd do.


Posted By: melikey
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 12:58pm
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

mine did not.
i told him i could not speak to him for a year
it has now been 5


don't speak too soon. my college bf tried after 10 yrs of no contact.

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shine your light for the world to see


Posted By: PurplePhase
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 1:00pm
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

mine did not.
i told him i could not speak to him for a year
it has now been 5


it's not too late. I have one who still tries.


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PEACE


Posted By: 313chick
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 1:06pm
When my ex was trying to come back in my life again I felt so insulted that I dismissed him so quick. I had to deactivate my fb so he would stop creating fake pages

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Posted By: Qualified
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 3:58pm
My two most serious ones- not my ex husband ( he and I are still the best of friends) meaning we speak everyday. But my two other serious exes absolutely try. My ex came by when I was down south and kicked it with the family for Thanksgiving. We're still cool- but I kindly let him know we're never revisiting the past. That ni(gg)a aint changed a bit, much as he wants me to believe he has. Exes are exes for a reason.

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I Would rather eat crumbs with bums than share steak with snakes-

The token "instigatory thanks" on nonsenical posts always kill me.


Posted By: Ashleyano
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 4:00pm
mine always comes back with a new sob story every year


Posted By: Miss SDY
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 4:04pm
Originally posted by BeatriceBean BeatriceBean wrote:

With the ok of the young lady:

 
He said that she's a wonderful girl and that he cares about her, but he's not in love with her.
 
 
And I agree with you all. He made it clear how he feels, she knows, and anything beyond that is a way to waste/fill time and opening the door for even greater heartbreak. Granted, there are relationships that survive after break-ups, but I wouldn't bank on it.
 
 
Honey, if you are reading this thread, then just move on.. He just told you how he felt.  You cannot make anyone love you. Moving on isn't easy and you will go through emotions but it is better to move on than to stick around trying to make someone love you when they do not. That is just setting yourself up for more hurt and pain than it is really worth. Hug


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http://daisypath.com" rel="nofollow">

NL----[SL]----APL----BSB----BSL

Closing in on APL!!!



Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 4:05pm
I'd bet the farm

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Never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee
Donne

Havmercy Dez Bryant


Posted By: Ds2nice
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 5:15pm
I've been on both sides of the fence.  I had very few boyfriends because each of them i had invested  5+ years of my life.  I married an ex....one time i broke up with him and the next time he broke up with me.  A few years later, we were friends with benefits.  Next- we turned into another bf/gf relationship and then we got married. 
 
It really depends on the situation but from what i read so far, it sounds like the woman should just move on and cut her losses now.


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I don't bite off more than I can chew...


Posted By: foxyroy19
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 7:36pm
If they walk let them go.  Close the door and double bolt lock it.

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Taking names...keeping notes!


Posted By: khivey
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 8:22pm
Yes..oh goodness yes.
The only thing I'd suggest if she wants to get back with him is to just have a friendship with him...don't get back with him and do not become intimate with him. Let him first explain to you why he broke up with you and why he wants you back...let him know ya'll can be friends and watch him to see if he shows you he is serious and isn't about games. I don't know how long the relationship was, but if it wasn't that long it could be that he honestly doesn't love her..but may down the line. In any case..just keep it cordial with him and let it go from there..but if she feels she wouldn't be able to maintain self control and will become physical..then it is best to not entertain him.

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Hair Type:3c/4a
Hair Length:SBL
“The approval of others often forms an essential part of our capacity to think we are right.”


Posted By: EasterBell
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 10:09pm
Originally posted by BeatriceBean BeatriceBean wrote:

With the ok of the young lady:

 
He said that she's a wonderful girl and that he cares about her, but he's not in love with her.
 
 
And I agree with you all. He made it clear how he feels, she knows, and anything beyond that is a way to waste/fill time and opening the door for even greater heartbreak. Granted, there are relationships that survive after break-ups, but I wouldn't bank on it.


She need to move on.. Take him for his word and let him be.. If he can tell her that he isn't in love with her, he ,more than likely, never will be.. Can't make some one love you. She need to cut her losses, move on and heal. No more energy should be wasted on him.. At least he was being honest and not proceeding w/ her and hurting her any further..  She will get over it with time.


Posted By: Derri
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 10:12pm
Not mine. only the guys who I've talked to but never dated sexclusively.




Posted By: femmefatale85
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 10:12pm
they do, but that doesn't mean you should be waiting for them


Posted By: EasterBell
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 10:18pm
Oh, tell her not to be friends with him because it won't be genuine because she is hoping to get back with him.. She is going to be in for another blow if he gets another girlfriend. Cut her loses and put her focus elsewhere.. She doesn't need to be sitting around waiting for him to come back because regardless of what is said in here, all exes do not come back.. She may never get to be on that level with him again.. There really is no need for her asking such a question. It's only building false hope and distracting her from what she really needs to be doing, which is starting the process of moving on.. It's hard to let go of a person that you love, but there is really not much you can do if they don't love you back..  


Posted By: ScorpioLuv
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 10:20pm
Yes or call to apologize a year later saying they understood why I broke up with them, thanking me for helping somehow etc

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Sons of bitches,smh


Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 10:28pm
In my case, yes. -.-

But that doesn't mean you should get back with them. In fact, you should tell them to kick rocks.


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Posted By: ThatGurlD
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 10:30pm
I would swirl before I got back with any ex.  True story.

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Valleys only exist between mountains. Stay down til you come up.


Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 10:30pm
Shit is accurate.




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Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 10:33pm
Originally posted by Miss SDY Miss SDY wrote:

With my experiences, yes.. I've had 3 this year try to come crawling back. I rarely try again.. I go through a lot of emotions getting over them. Once I finally heal, I feel no emotion toward them. By then, they always want to come back..





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Posted By: csungrl09
Date Posted: Dec 20 2012 at 12:46am
every. single. time.

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Even with a low LSAT, i'm a hot commodity.


Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: Dec 20 2012 at 12:58am
Really though, to op and not proxy-op, don't trip about exes coming back. I know you miss him but in the end, you two broke up for a reason and if you wasted your time getting back together, there is an extremely high chance you will end up breaking up for the same reason you broke up in the first place.

When an ex comes crawling back, it's usually not for the right reasons. It might be for sex, familiarity, or just to still have a hold on you.

Look at how most of us have confirmed that most exes came back but did it for the wrong reasons.

It's always when you're fine and dandy and moving on that an ex suddenly goes:


Fuuuuck outta heeeeeeah


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Posted By: foxyroy19
Date Posted: Dec 20 2012 at 1:55am
To answer the OP...No they don't always come back.

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Taking names...keeping notes!


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Dec 20 2012 at 11:08am
Yes lol

My last ex is tryin to get on my nice side now. He already sent my christmas gift in the mail lol


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yo


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Dec 20 2012 at 11:09am
Originally posted by ThatGurlD ThatGurlD wrote:

I would swirl before I got back with any ex.  True story.



LOL


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yo


Posted By: BBpants
Date Posted: Dec 20 2012 at 12:11pm
Originally posted by Positive K Positive K wrote:

Originally posted by BBpants BBpants wrote:

Yes lol

My last ex is tryin to get on my nice side now. He already sent my christmas gift in the mail lol


what he get u?


Damn you noseyyyyyy LOL


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yo


Posted By: Princess_S
Date Posted: Dec 20 2012 at 12:21pm
I have an ex who is trying to ruin my new thang...whyyyy me?
 
He's bitter! LOLLOLLOLLOLLOL


Posted By: swweet*suga
Date Posted: Dec 20 2012 at 12:25pm
yup, they always do



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