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Could u b with a man who had killed another woman?

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Printed Date: Oct 15 2018 at 9:56am


Topic: Could u b with a man who had killed another woman?
Posted By: zsazsa
Subject: Could u b with a man who had killed another woman?
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 1:37pm

for me, that relationship would have ended the instant he told me he had killed a woman. i could never have got past that. WALK AWAY because you will probably be the next victim, and yes, of course he will have a convincing story about how it wasn't his fault, or he just had a momentary lapse (for every time that story is true, there are 1000 who are lying). Author seems like a right fixer


'Was I guilty for loving the wrong man?' Woman's new husband arrested for double rape a month into their marriage (then she found herself judged too)

By Shannon Moroney


When her beloved husband was charged with rape, newlywed Shannon Moroney’s world was turned upside down. But her nightmare worsened when she found herself judged, too

Shannon and Jason on their wedding day, October 2005

Shannon and Jason on their wedding day, October 2005


I was writing a thank-you card for a wedding gift when I heard the knock at my hotel room door. It was 8 November 2005. I was away from home, at a conference. When I opened the door, I expected to see my colleagues inviting me to breakfast. Instead, I saw a policeman.


‘Are you Shannon Moroney?’ he asked. ‘I’m here about your husband. Are you Jason Staples’s wife?’ His question flustered me. It was our one‑month wedding anniversary and I wasn’t used to being called a ‘wife’. But I nodded.

‘I’m here about your husband, Jason. He was arrested last night, charged with sexual assault. I understand your husband called the police himself.’ He handed me a slip of paper with the phone number of the police station and said I should call right away. Then, quietly, he said, ‘I think you’d better expect that it was full rape.’

I felt as though I was going to be sick. How was this possible? Less than two hours earlier, I had been lying in bed feeling so happy – I’d just had my 30th birthday, then our beautiful wedding and honeymoon. The night before, I had told Jason I thought I might be pregnant. ‘That would be great,’ he said. ‘We’ll take a test when you get home.’ 

My heart pounding, I called the number the officer had given me. ‘I’m not able to tell you very much right now except that yesterday afternoon, at about 4.30, Jason assaulted two women at the store where he works. After some time, he took them to your home.’ I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. The sergeant continued, ‘Shannon, you need to prepare yourself. This is very serious. Your husband is facing many charges.’

‘Were the victims the two women who worked there?’ I asked.

‘No, they were customers. We don’t think he knew them.’

‘Are they all right?’



‘They are at the hospital being treated and they are expected to recover fully.’

‘But how could he take them to our house? He rides his bike to work and…’

Jason working on a community mural in Toronto, three years before he met Shannon

Jason working on a community mural in Toronto, three years before he met Shannon

‘He rented a van around six or seven o’clock. Jason drove back to the store to pick up the women and take them to your house. He called from a payphone to ask for help at 10.50 last night, and we were able to apprehend him there. You need to come to the station. You can’t go home, Shannon. Your house is going to be searched. Will you be all right to drive?’

‘I’m going to call my parents and I’m sure they will come with me.’

‘We’ll be here, waiting.’



I hung up the phone. How could this be true? I’d just been told that the assaults had taken place around 4.30 in the afternoon, and Jason had called the police at 10.50 at night. But I had spoken to him around 10.20 when I’d told him I thought I might be pregnant. The two women must have been 
there in our house while we were speaking.

As I waited for my parents to arrive, I got changed and noticed I was bleeding. A feeling 
of tremendous loss welled up inside.

*     *     *     *     *



I met Jason volunteering at a local restaurant for low-income customers in February 2003. Jason was the assistant coordinator and head cook. He had an easy smile and everyone liked him. He seemed articulate and well-educated; I was into pottery at the time and he told me he loved to draw. During my second shift, he gave me a little card. Jason had drawn a caricature of himself and next to it written his name and phone number and the words, ‘Available for pottery viewing, tea and chatting.’
I was excited and nervous before our first date. We had made small talk for less than five minutes before Jason said, ‘There’s something I need to tell you: I was in prison for ten years. I’m on parole with a life sentence.’



Jason took her at knifepoint to a back room where he bound her then sexually assaulted her,’ the sergeant told me



Just a few months after his 18th birthday, in January 1988, he had been convicted of second‑degree murder. Still at school, in part‑time employment, Jason had been living with a roommate found by his mother. The roommate was a 38-year-old woman. She and Jason developed a sexual relationship. I had a hard time imagining a mother allowing her teenage son to live with an older, single woman he didn’t know.

On the day of the murder, Jason’s roommate turned down his sexual advances and they got into an argument. Wanting to end the conflict, Jason went into the bathroom to have a shower. His roommate followed, yelling, ‘I’m going to tell your mother what’s really going on here!’

Jason struggled for the right words to explain to me his overwhelming need to gain control over the situation. ‘I only remember wanting her to stop screaming at me, struggling to the ground and striking her head against the bathroom floor until she stopped.’ He said that he wasn’t aware of what he was doing until it was over. Jason looked down and shook his head. When he looked up, his face wore a baffled expression. It was as though he still couldn’t believe it.

‘I was found criminally responsible, which I completely agreed with,’ Jason added.

‘Had you ever been violent before?’ I asked.

‘No, never. I don’t know how I was capable of it. I’ve never been able to explain it; I only know that 
I’ll never do it again.’

A school photograph of Jason, aged six

A school photograph of Jason, aged six


I was surprised to find my heart going out to him. I worked as a school guidance counsellor and I pictured some of my students with their vastly diverse home lives. I couldn’t yet visualise Jason’s upbringing, nor could I grasp the contrast between our lives in 1988. I would have been 12 when he’d committed this crime. I was living happily in the suburbs with my supportive, loving family.

Jason was hoping to achieve full parole status, which would mean the freedom to live completely on his own. His mother lived on a disability pension and suffered from severe bipolar disorder. ‘She did the best she could,’ Jason said of his mother. His father had died when he was six.

As I got to know Jason, I was struck by how normal he seemed. I met his parole officer and psychologist, both of whom told me his crime was a one-off incident. They weren’t concerned 
he would ever offend again. Jason and I got together for dinner and movies and I loved being with him. I began to feel that I could move towards accepting Jason as he was now, including his past – but could I take on this burden? After several weeks of dating, I told Jason I wanted to take a break. He said he was in love with me, but he understood. 

It didn’t take me long to realise that I was happier with Jason than I’d been in any other relationship. 
We bought a house, I got a job as a guidance counsellor at the local school and Jason enrolled 
in a drawing and painting programme, with a part-time job at a health-food store to help pay the bills. We told my parents and closest friends about Jason’s past, but they loved him anyway. They respected his honesty as I did, and they could see how happy we were with each other. 

*     *     *     *     *

At the police station, a sergeant explained to us that a customer had entered the store where 
Jason worked. ‘Jason took her at knifepoint to a back room where he bound her with duct tape and then sexually assaulted her,’ he said. I started to cry in horror. So did my parents.

Another customer came into the store and Jason held her at knifepoint as well. He overpowered her by choking her to unconsciousness; she was also sexually assaulted. Then Jason rented the van, returned to the store and brought the women to our house. Waves of revulsion hit me. I imagined the victims, their pain and terror. My parents and I listened in stunned silence. One of us finally formed the question we were all thinking: ‘How are the women?’


I continued to visit Jason almost every week for months. I had lost my job and was desperately lonely



‘They are alive,’ he said.

Did that mean they had come close to death? 

I began sobbing inconsolably. The sergeant continued. ‘The women were very brave. It could easily have become a double murder.’

Later that day, a female officer called Nora told me that Jason had confessed to surreptitiously filming people, including me, going to the bathroom in our home on several occasions over an unknown period of time. Jason had put the videotapes in the van before calling the police, so now they were evidence. Soon they would need me to come into the police station to watch the videos and identify the victims.

I told Nora that I’d spoken to Jason on the phone at 10.20. Later, she would insist that it was 
my phone call that prompted him to get help for the women, but I believe our house played a part. There, Jason was surrounded by our life: photos, grocery lists, the walls we had painted together. There must have been some reason why he chose to go home instead of anywhere else.
At one point during the interview, Nora said, ‘Do you know that the average cycle of a sex offender is seven years?’ I shook my head blankly while she continued. ‘Jason has been out in the community for seven years.’



Shannon, far left, with her mother, father, brother and sister, 2009

Shannon, far left, with her mother, father, brother and sister, 2009



No one had ever mentioned anything like this to me – not Jason’s parole officers nor his psychologists. And why would they? Until last night, Jason had never been considered a 
sex offender. There was nothing in our personal lives together that suggested Jason could be anything other than a fully reformed human being. Still, I thought I could hear blame in Nora’s voice, as though I, too, had done something wrong. How could Jason have betrayed our vows and 
left me here to be scrutinised? The last thing Nora said was that at the end of Jason’s statement, he had told the detective he never wanted to see his wife again. The Jason who’d been presented 
to me was not a man I’d ever met. He wasn’t even the 18-year-old I’d come to accept as the correctional system’s ‘best guy’, someone who would never again pose a threat of violence. He was now a rapist.While I was with Nora, my parents had made a number of phone calls, including one to some friends who invited us to stay. These were the same friends who had hosted our wedding, 
but gathered there with friends and family that night, it felt like a wake – as if Jason had been killed in a sudden accident. I recounted everything that the police had told me. When I finished, my 
dad responded in a broken voice, ‘I just know something must have happened to Jason when he was a little boy… I love him like my own son.’



Over the following weeks, my body developed a cycle to cope with the shock: 30 minutes of hard crying, easing off into numbness for an hour or so during which I couldn’t really move but my mind would start to gain momentum. Then I would begin talking to a family member or friend, trying to figure things out – until this search for answers reached an almost manic state.

I had a vast network of friends, family and colleagues, and most were trying to get in touch to see how I was. Where was Jason? What state was he in? What had happened? How were the victims? Most people expressed feelings of concern for everyone affected. But others began to express anger, even judging me and my family. They seemed to think that our love for Jason meant we felt nothing for his victims. Yet when I pictured the Jason I knew in his cell, I imagined he must be suffering and I wanted to be with him.

Less than a week after I’d found out, I visited Jason in prison for the first time. He came through the door – face drawn and grim. Our eyes met and we both began crying uncontrollably. ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry,’ he kept saying.

‘Jason,’ I said, ‘the police told me you said that you never wanted to see me again – why did you say that?’

The expression on his face changed from sorrow to confusion, and he said softly, ‘No, Shanny. I said, “My wife never has to see me again.”’ I felt a pulse of relief. It was something to hold on to.



Jason went on to confess that he had been gorging himself on pornography over the weekend while I was away, and had gone to see a very violent movie. He said he’d become addicted to pornography while he was in prison, but he’d been too ashamed to tell me. He explained that he had always known something was wrong with him, but had convinced himself he was in control of whatever it was. Recently, the addictive behaviours had been building again, though he couldn’t explain exactly why.
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ I asked. ‘I’m sorry. I was so afraid. I wanted to protect you from it. I thought it would go away.’

Jason had given a full confession that matched the victims’ statements. He would plead guilty. I searched for information that would help me understand. I read psychiatric journal articles about sexual deviance, men who murder and rape, and adult survivors of childhood abuse, still suspecting something had happened to Jason that might help explain his acts of violence. Later, he told me he had endured physical and sexual violence at the hands of his mother, her boyfriend and his late grandfather. And that, at 18, when he was at a detention centre, he had been gang‑raped.

I had no idea what would happen to my relationship with Jason, but as long as I felt right in myself about supporting him, I would continue. I visited Jason almost every week for months. I had lost my job as a result of Jason’s actions and I could no longer even afford my TV bill. I was desperately lonely. Seeing people in town would elicit either a warm embrace or a cold stare – many days, I couldn’t take the chance.On 15 May 2008, Jason was declared a dangerous offender and sentenced to an ‘indeterminate period in a penitentiary’. I felt drained and empty. On the one-year anniversary of Jason’s sentencing, in May 2009, our divorce was finalised. I’d decided it would be best to lump two sad anniversaries together, rather than tarnish another day on the calendar.



I began speaking out about my experiences at justice conferences, making space for victims to tell their stories and have their needs addressed. Telling my own story has made me feel that what I went through wasn’t for nothing. 

I heard from the mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers of people who had committed crimes and were serving time. They had lived with the same shame and loss that I knew; the same confusion, sadness and stigma. 

I have opened myself up to renewed criticism, too. The harshest critiques came from those 
who could not get past the fact that I had married Jason knowing about his past. But issues of 
crime and justice are never simple. I will never condone Jason’s violent acts, nor can I plaster 
a simple term like ‘monster’ on an individual. Knowing what I know, I don’t have that luxury.

After discovering the lack of help available for families of criminals, Shannon Moroney became 
a restorative justice advocate who speaks internationally on the ripple effects of crime. 

A volunteer with Leave Out ViolencE (LOVE), she is also a contributor to The Forgiveness Project. Shannon lives in Toronto where she is happily remarried and the mother of infant twins. Visit shannonmoroney.com. 

This is an edited extract from Shannon’s book The Stranger Inside, published by Simon & Schuster, price £6.99. To order a copy with free p&p, call the YOU Bookshop on  0844 472 4157 or visit you-bookshop.co.uk






Replies:
Posted By: IslandSuga
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 1:38pm
Hell no. That's that yt people sh!t


Posted By: fairyQueen092
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 1:38pm
No

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Bhm sucks. Lets see how long it will take to get siggys back -__-


Posted By: StylingArabella
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 1:41pm
NO! Hell, I declined to date a guy for having massive acne. Some women are so desperate and conditioned to have lowered expectations in life.


Posted By: Bunnyahh
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 1:44pm
read the 1st 2 paragraphs & that is all I need to say that crakkka is nuts!!  May he rot in hell

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Hi BHM!! Lovely day I'm having. How about you?


Posted By: babyk94
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 1:46pm
Wtf? Never


Posted By: solena
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 1:51pm
No. She was lucky she could've been one of his victims.


Posted By: keelolo1
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 1:52pm
Hell no. I remember when I went to visit family and i went out with cousins to a club and this guy tried to talk to me. Convo was great until my cousin pulled me to the side and said he was just released from prison for shooting his ex wife in the face. Needless to say I avoided him like the plague.


Posted By: maysay1
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 1:55pm
Absolutely not. 

Originally posted by StylingArabella StylingArabella wrote:

NO! Hell, I declined to date a guy for having massive acne. Some women are so desperate and conditioned to have lowered expectations in life.

I keep trying to interpret this in a charitable manner. I hope you didn't mean to imply what was implied.


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 1:56pm
I still don't understand women who stick by their husbands in prison or marry men they met while they were already incarcerated.  you are setting yourself up for failure.

this lady was stupid and desperate.  


Posted By: Junior Jr
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 1:59pm
Y'all gotta leave these black twitter topics on black twitter

jr.

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Posted By: bebe88
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 2:00pm
Reminds me of the last story in Stephen King's short story collection Full Dark, No Stars.

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http://www.youtube.com/user/BrittaneyRachel


Posted By: Bunnyahh
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 2:01pm
u should makea spinoff of can you be with a guy after he's abused a woman b4 you?  like how Karrot top & Draya was with Chris after Rih, or how AJ Johnson was with Chad after Ev or them fake goddesses with Charlie Sheen after he beat all his wives.
 
If you know he's put hands on a woman, what makes you attracted to them?  Is it really the "well that was them, he aint gonna do me like that" attitude


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Hi BHM!! Lovely day I'm having. How about you?


Posted By: Bunnyahh
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 2:02pm
Originally posted by Junior Jr Junior Jr wrote:

Y'all gotta leave these black twitter topics on black twitter

jr.
link to blk twitter?

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Hi BHM!! Lovely day I'm having. How about you?


Posted By: teendiva
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 2:03pm
That was a really interesting read. Of course she's being judged. She sounds like a fool for dating a man who killed a woman. It's not just "oops I killed her." It tells a lot about a man, I would've ran for the hills! She's trying to make it seem like she was "open minded" when she was actually using bad judgement.

And at the same time I feel bad for them. I feel bad that the guy was molested and raped. And that therapy didn't seem to help him. And I feel bad for the wife for being duped so easily. She didn't know his whole background or his addictions smh.

She almost got pregnant again too! The cycle would've continued.

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To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else, is the greatest accomplishment.
-My dude Emerson


Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 2:04pm
I have talked to guys who have been in jail before for voilent crimes..
But for something like the op...? Banging a woman's head into the floor because she wouldn't stop screaming...?
Hell nah



Posted By: Faithfully2002
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 2:05pm
No.

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Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 2:05pm
And yea, that was a good read

I'm about to go buy good similar book now


Posted By: Becky
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 2:10pm

No, the minute he said ‘There’s something I need to tell you: I was in prison for ten years. I’m on parole with a life sentence'... I would have been through with him.

She was stupid. Even after he was in jail ... she still wanted him and is looking for sympany from people and has essentially ruined her stupid life by sticking by him.
 
Sorry he wasto abused as a child - this probably led to this behavior ... but I would never gotten involved with him.
 
I think it's funny when people on BHM pretend that only White people do stuff like this. That would be .. a joke.Stern Smile
 
I wouldn't get involved with ANY guy that had been convicted of a violent crime ... period. I would never be THAT desparate or delusional.
 
http://www.thebirdman.org/Index/Others/Others-Doc-Blacks/+Doc-Blacks-Crime&HateCrime/Race&RapeInAmerica.htm" rel="nofollow - http://www.thebirdman.org/Index/Others/Others-Doc-Blacks/+Doc-Blacks-Crime&HateCrime/Race&RapeInAmerica.htm
 
RAPE OFFENDERS
The Report: "The racial distribution of arrestees for rape is similar to the racial distribution for all violent UCR* arrests--56% of arrestees for rape in 1995 were "white," 42% were black, and 2% were of other races."
[*The 1995 FBI Uniform Crime Reports is being cited here. WSW]


Posted By: MissinCali
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 2:12pm
Hell NOThumbs Down

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Posted By: PeacefulOne
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 2:41pm
Buttuh, isn't forgiveness what "Christians" are supposed to do?
 
So a person NEVER has a soul change?
 
A person who has had an evil past can't be "saved"?
 
Then that means there are a lot of throw away people.
 
Another way to look at this is: she being with him may have prevented him from raping and killing a lot MORE women.
 
But I won't say she's stupid,  she just fell for the wrong guy, and made the mistake of not doing her full research.  I would have had his past as the topic of conversation for a LONG time, and the minute he got screw-eyed at me, I woulda bounced.  She didn't know he was a rapist.
 
But on that note, NO, I am not that one.  There would have been no second date.  But I am not a "good Christian, sooo . . .


Posted By: Soratachi
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 3:05pm
Originally posted by Junior Jr Junior Jr wrote:

Y'all gotta leave these black twitter topics on black twitter

jr.


I wub U LOL 

I don't know where to start with this white psychopath.


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http://images58.fotki.com/v154/photos/7/1850227/11141506/DSC00292-vi.jpg" rel="nofollow - My Natural 4b/c Bun


Posted By: lexis83
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 3:07pm
Originally posted by IslandSuga IslandSuga wrote:

Hell no. That's that yt people sh!t



Posted By: Lady ICE
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 3:10pm
he looks like a creepy clark kent in that first pic....but yeahh no...couldnt be with anyone like that. i swear i would stop talking to men (as much as i love them) after that. id just be paranoid.



i hate when ppl start talking about what a Christian is suppose to do. .Ermm


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Posted By: Prazol60
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 3:14pm
Hell no and I would abort that child too. I would want nothing to do with that creep. 


Posted By: iGotSunshine
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 3:28pm
i couldnt 
but people do it everyday 

this sh*t is common 


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“Don't be in a hurry to condemn because he doesn't do what you do or think as you think or as fast. There was a time when you didn't know what you know today.”
― Malcolm X


Posted By: Guidette
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 3:47pm
Originally posted by IslandSuga IslandSuga wrote:

Hell no. That's that yt people sh!t


All day long he naw might not wake up with this sick sh*t



Posted By: afrikan gal
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 3:48pm
very very good read, this women has a bleeding heart syndrome, i'm glad she moved on with her life and found new happiness.
Would i ever date someone who killed another Woman before no, but i  don't think i would judge somebody  who did depending on the circumstances. ( maybe i will but will hide it lol)


Posted By: texasmami0117
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 4:28pm
I stuck by my man for 7 1/2 years....but it would def be a no if he was in there for murdering a woman.
 
Two good for nothin Brothas in his family have shot and killed their babymamas though.


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 5:14pm
Originally posted by texasmami0117 texasmami0117 wrote:

I stuck by my man for 7 1/2 years....but it would def be a no if he was in there for murdering a woman.
 

Two good for nothin Brothas in his family have shot and killed their babymamas though.


So what did he do?


Posted By: Sinnamon_Mami
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 5:18pm
Originally posted by bebe88 bebe88 wrote:

Reminds me of the last story in Stephen King's short story collection Full Dark, No Stars.


Just finished reading that... But I feel bad for her, some people are too nice for their own good..

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Posted By: texasmami0117
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 5:28pm
Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

Originally posted by texasmami0117 texasmami0117 wrote:

I stuck by my man for 7 1/2 years....but it would def be a no if he was in there for murdering a woman.
 

Two good for nothin Brothas in his family have shot and killed their babymamas though.


So what did he do?
 
Assault. Dumb mistake when he was 19 and they threw the book at him.


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 5:43pm
Did y'all get married when he got out?


Posted By: texasmami0117
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 5:52pm
Yes and our daughter just turned one. Im waiting until after our ceremony next October (thats when he'll be off parole...tg) to change my last name though. It was ruff...it's still an obstacle...but it was worth it.


Posted By: ms_wonderland
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 5:55pm
that's a long time...you must be a very strong person.  i'm glad it was worth the wait.  i guess men need that support system to keep them on the straight path when they get out.


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 7:09pm
No. Ain't nobody got time for alladat.

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<--Classy & Educated O.

"You're telling us your beefing with your bf's mother over $1 ice cream like it was blood diamonds." RickyR



Posted By: HowardAlumAKA
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 7:11pm
No. I would fear he would relapse and kill me too and probably all of our children


Posted By: coconess
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 7:51pm
I don't think the man in the OP is a psychopath


Posted By: Yardgirl
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 7:53pm
Absolutely not.

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Posted By: yaya24
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 8:16pm
yuck

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iRep ♥ Naija
TexLAXED 1.25.13'
SL starting alllll the way over. Watch me work.
APL 2013
     
<


Posted By: Miss SDY
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 8:35pm
Umm no..
I'll pass..
She used very bad judgement but she seems like the type that wants to see the good in everyone..
Which nothing is wrong with that but she should have left him where he was. I can't find good in a person who got angry and bashed a woman's head into the floor because she wouldn't stop screaming..


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http://daisypath.com" rel="nofollow">

NL----[SL]----APL----BSB----BSL

Closing in on APL!!!



Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 9:55pm
Wow she really took a huge risk getting involved with dude. Its not always a good idea to try to be someone's savior. He would have had my prayers but thats about it.


Posted By: honeyb87
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 10:48pm
Yeah....no.

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Going through a quarter life crisis. Judge me if you will. No fcks will be given though.

Don't call a b*tch a b*tch unless you like the b*tch


Posted By: OrriannaRose
Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 11:09pm

Originally posted by zsazsa zsazsa wrote:

I will never condone Jason’s violent acts, nor can I plaster
a simple term like ‘monster’ on an individual.



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Posted By: Becky
Date Posted: Dec 17 2012 at 5:36am
Originally posted by PeacefulOne PeacefulOne wrote:

Buttuh, isn't forgiveness what "Christians" are supposed to do?
 
Who says we are Christian? That's crap IMO.
 
So a person NEVER has a soul change?
 
No.
 
A person who has had an evil past can't be "saved"?
 
No. Not for some things. If he was a gambler and blew all his money, or if he stole money becaue he needed drugs ets.. all these sorts or 'character flaws' can be resolved through Rehab.
 
But losing control such that you rape or beat a woman (or anyone) to death? Noo - now where would you find a 'Murder's Anonymous' group or a 'Rapist  Anonymous group'?
 
Then that means there are a lot of throw away people.
Yes, there are. They need to be send off on some island all by themselves so they can kill each other off - not be around decent folk - so they devastate  more lives.
 
Another way to look at this is: she being with him may have prevented him from raping and killing a lot MORE women.
 
No way. This is wishful thinking at best. Do your research about the rate of repeat sexual offenders and men that 'lose control'. This stuff can't be fixed.
 
But I won't say she's stupid,  she just fell for the wrong guy, and made the mistake of not doing her full research.  I would have had his past as the topic of conversation for a LONG time, and the minute he got screw-eyed at me, I woulda bounced.  She didn't know he was a rapist.
 
Okay, then I will say it. She was stupid. She said within the first 5 minutes of meeting him - he said he was out of the pen for murder. Newsflash - murder is WORSE that rape. DUH! Stupid. So she knew what she was getting into.
 
But on that note, NO, I am not that one.  There would have been no second date.  But I am not a "good Christian, sooo . . .


Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: Dec 17 2012 at 12:12pm
HELL to the no.
Endanger my life for some dude? Nope!


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Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: Dec 17 2012 at 12:16pm
The fact that a man even had it in him to kill.. that's a major red flag. I don't care if that's in the past, it happened.

These kind of crimes of murder and rape are overwhelmingly done by males because this society teaches them that they are entitled to the bodies of women and always have to be in control. For some males, this taught entitlement is so ingrained, they cannot handle it when things do not go their way or when they lose control.

While the average male may resort to insults and slander, no matter how hypocritical, a certain minority of males take it further and resort to rape, violence, or even murder.

That's why it doesn't matter if it's in the past because it happened. The man has it in him to take it that far.


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Posted By: Becky
Date Posted: Dec 17 2012 at 12:39pm
That's correct.
 
If it's IN THEM ... it will come out again.
 
Decent men might get mad at you .. and cuss you out. But that would be the WORST case.
 
But if they can't control themselves.. then likely they have that frontal lobe problem which is common in men and is characterized by the desire to CONTROL ... everything.
 
So yes, if they cannot CONTROL you verbally .. it goes to the physical level .. which is the beginning of the end for women foolish enough to ignore the signs.
 
Just stay away from losers I say. Especially the ones that come out and TELL you their bad past early on. Sometimes this is used as way to manipulate a woman, to make her pity him or to feel that all he needs is a good woman.
 
But these men are ... damaged. Let them seek counseling move on to a normal guy that can offer you a normal relationship without such a history.
 


Posted By: iGotSunshine
Date Posted: Dec 17 2012 at 12:44pm
Would you guys date a soldier? A cop?
Does it depend on intent?

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“Don't be in a hurry to condemn because he doesn't do what you do or think as you think or as fast. There was a time when you didn't know what you know today.”
― Malcolm X


Posted By: Prazol60
Date Posted: Dec 17 2012 at 1:05pm
Originally posted by iGotSunshine iGotSunshine wrote:

Would you guys date a soldier? A cop?
Does it depend on intent?

Maybe but I am not sure I could handle the stress and worrying that comes with that.


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Dec 17 2012 at 1:13pm
"holding it down" for some motherfu in jail




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Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Dec 17 2012 at 1:15pm

some people live to "save", "fix" and "train" others, whether that's people or pets





Posted By: ThoughtCouture
Date Posted: Dec 17 2012 at 1:17pm
Originally posted by iGotSunshine iGotSunshine wrote:

Would you guys date a soldier? A cop?
Does it depend on intent?
 
hee hee...


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you say i need some time to meditate...naaaaah b*tch i'm fly! i need time to levitate... ~yeezy


dacoldesteva


Posted By: BeatriceBean
Date Posted: Dec 17 2012 at 1:22pm
Dahellilooklike

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Life is good!


Posted By: Gkisses
Date Posted: Dec 17 2012 at 1:22pm
Originally posted by iGotSunshine iGotSunshine wrote:

Would you guys date a soldier? A cop?
Does it depend on intent?
 
Ive dated a soldier b4 but he was never sent. Dating him vs someone who  did a few tours on the front line  is completely different. PTSD is real so if he hasn't been out for some years and getting treatment  I doubt I would. If he was stationed in Hawaii stocking shelves maybe. As for the cop it would depend on the circumstances as well and how many times its happened.

Id prefer to lay with someone who hasnt killed b4....I read somewhere that once someone has killed a human it makes it easier the second timeConfused


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Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Dec 17 2012 at 1:35pm


I would not trust to live closely and intimately with someone that is ok with killing people

the dissociation that's required to be able to do that ... would unnerve me

wear out my side eye and I don't have time for that




Posted By: SoutherNtellect
Date Posted: Dec 17 2012 at 1:54pm
anyone who served the country. no. too good at separating one life from another 
cop - wouldnt take a second look at


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Posted By: texasmami0117
Date Posted: Dec 17 2012 at 2:15pm
Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:

"holding it down" for some motherfu in jail


 
LOL...I got plenty of these looks


Posted By: zsazsa
Date Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 7:17pm
Instead of making a new thread, thought I would this story on here. Frikkin shocking. 

Family devastated as Argentinian woman agrees to marry the man who killed her twin sister

  • Victor Cingolani was jailed for the 2010 murder of Johana Casas, 19
  • Twin sister Edith will marry the killer in Pico Truncade, Argentina, tomorrow
  • Twin's mother Marcelina said her daughter was guilty of a 'terrible betrayal'


An Argentine woman has sparked outrage by agreeing to marry her twin sister’s killer.

Edith Casas, 22, is due to wed Victor Cingolani today close to the jail where he is serving 13 years for the murder of model Johana Casas.

Johana was shot dead days before her 20th birthday in August 2010 in the southern Argentine city of Pico Truncado, 1,200 miles south of the capital Buenos Aires. 

Victor Cingolani was convicted of killing Johana Casas in 2010

Killed: Victor Cingolani, right, was convicted of killing Johana Casas, left, in 2010

The mother of Edith Casas, pictured, said her surviving daughter was guilty of a terrible betrayal

Edith Casas, pictured, is guilty of a 'terrible betrayal', according to her mother

Cingolani, an ex-boyfriend, was convicted of murder in June.

Edith's family said she is guilty of a 'terrible betrayal'.

 


    The controversial wedding will take place in Edith's home town in front of just two friends acting as witnesses. 

    However, several armed police officers will also be present when they escort Cingolani from the city jail.

    Model Johana Casas was shot dead in 2010 days before her 20th birthday

    Model Johana Casas was shot dead in 2010 days before her 20th birthday

    The twins’ mother Marcelina last night claimed her surviving daughter was suffering psychological problems and said she feared Cingolani would take her life too.

    She said: 'There are no words to describe what Edith is going to do. She’s guilty of a terrible betrayal.'

    Edith, Cingolani’s girlfriend of five years, has insisted her future husband is the victim of a miscarriage of justice and is backing his appeal against his murder conviction.

    She said: 'Victor is not a violent person and I’m not mad.

    'We’ve got no doubts about what we’re doing. We love each other.'

    A second man, Johana’s boyfriend at the time of her murder, will go on trial next year over the killing.

    Marcos Diaz was at a party with Johana hours before she appeared dead.

    Lucas Chacon, Cingolani’s defence lawyer, insisted: 'The cigarette butts found near Johana’s body belonged to Diaz and all the witnesses have incriminated him.

    'I can understand Johana’s parents’ attitude. But Edith is not marrying a killer or anything like it.

    'She is marrying a man who was convicted in a judicial scandal. All we want is justice.'





    Posted By: Gkisses
    Date Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 7:21pm
    She looks crazy....they were probably having an affair already when they hitched the plan and he took the rap when it failed.  


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    Posted By: FarraFace
    Date Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 7:58pm
    Men in prison for murder get married all the time.

    Circumstances/intent make the difference between a killing and a murder.

    Could I marry a man who killed a woman? I probably could. Would I? Hell naw.






    %20" rel="nofollow -

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    Posted By: ImThatDiva
    Date Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 8:00pm
    No.


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    Mrs.ImThatModdlessDiva
    TWERKIN' MY WAY DOWNTOWN
    CARS DRIVE PAST
    DRIVERS CRASH AND I'M LOWDOWN
    -Midna


    Posted By: OrriannaRose
    Date Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 8:09pm
    Originally posted by iGotSunshine iGotSunshine wrote:

    Would you guys date a soldier? A cop?
    Does it depend on intent?
    NO and Censored no!


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    Posted By: PeacefulOne
    Date Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 8:42pm
    Originally posted by Becky Becky wrote:

    Originally posted by PeacefulOne PeacefulOne wrote:

    Buttuh, isn't forgiveness what "Christians" are supposed to do?
     
    Who says we are Christian? That's crap IMO.
     
    A LOT of people "CLAIM" to be good christians, that is exactly my point.  In fact a lot of people HERE claim Jesus or Allah or Budda or whatever.  It is one of the tenents of the organized religions, many talk a good game but don't actually DO it.  They claim to believe in the bible, which preaches FORGIVENESS, and at the same time, hollar like a beat wet dog when someone points out the hyprocisy of their actions.  And who appointed YOU as WE??
     
    So a person NEVER has a soul change?
     
    No.
     
     YES, people DO change.  I could name someone I know right now who has changed, but that's not my point either.  When you say ALWAYS or NEVER, it is automatically FALSE!
     
    A person who has had an evil past can't be "saved"?
     
    No. Not for some things. If he was a gambler and blew all his money, or if he stole money becaue he needed drugs ets.. all these sorts or 'character flaws' can be resolved through Rehab.
     
     On this I concur, Not for SOME things, they cannot, but for SOME things, they CAN.
     
    But losing control such that you rape or beat a woman (or anyone) to death? Noo - now where would you find a 'Murder's Anonymous' group or a 'Rapist  Anonymous group'?
     
    If you saw the article, it did not say he raped the woman when he was 19.  He was convicted of murder.  She was in all  likelihood, not wrapped too tight either.
     
    Then that means there are a lot of throw away people.
    Yes, there are. They need to be send off on some island all by themselves so they can kill each other off - not be around decent folk - so they devastate  more lives.
     
    This I can also concur to, some folks needs killing, BUT not ALL of them.
     
    Another way to look at this is: she being with him may have prevented him from raping and killing a lot MORE women.
     
    No way. This is wishful thinking at best. Do your research about the rate of repeat sexual offenders and men that 'lose control'. This stuff can't be fixed.
     
    You presume to know me personally.  You don't.  As a matter of fact, I HAVE done my research, and I  worked with teens who were offenders, some of them sexual offenders.  There are a FEW who if caught EARLY enough, can be rehabilitated.  Not all but some.  And I will stand by my statement, the crazy built up over time. You don't know her either.
     
    But I won't say she's stupid,  she just fell for the wrong guy, and made the mistake of not doing her full research.  I would have had his past as the topic of conversation for a LONG time, and the minute he got screw-eyed at me, I woulda bounced.  She didn't know he was a rapist.
     
    Okay, then I will say it. She was stupid. She said within the first 5 minutes of meeting him - he said he was out of the pen for murder. Newsflash - murder is WORSE that rape. DUH! Stupid. So she knew what she was getting into.
     
    Uh Becky, no one has EVER told you a lie you believed?  NEVER???  Well, I don't believe you.
     
    But on that note, NO, I am not that one.  There would have been no second date.  But I am not a "good Christian, sooo . . .
     
     


    Posted By: FarraFace
    Date Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 8:51pm
    Murder ain't worse than rape. I can think of a whole lot of damn good reasons to commit murder. I can't think of a single good reason to rape somebody.

    If I ever happen upon Liam Neeson, I'm sure one will come to me though.

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    Posted By: beebeexx
    Date Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 9:09pm
    Originally posted by FarraFace FarraFace wrote:

    Murder ain't worse than rape. I can think of a whole lot of damn good reasons to commit murder. I can't think of a single good reason to rape somebody.

    If I ever happen upon Liam Neeson, I'm sure one will come to me though.


    that man is 60 years old... you talkin bout a whole nother slew of charges!


    Posted By: PeacefulOne
    Date Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 9:11pm
    ^^^ LOL!  Right?  Leave that ole man alone FF!


    Posted By: FarraFace
    Date Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 9:15pm
    I have a sweet, innocent face and I know how to use it. I'll take my chances with a jury.

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    Posted By: OrriannaRose
    Date Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 10:31pm
    Originally posted by FarraFace FarraFace wrote:

    Murder ain't worse than rape. I can think of a whole lot of damn good reasons to commit murder. I can't think of a single good reason to rape somebody.

    If I ever happen upon Liam Neeson, I'm sure one will come to me though
    .
     
    Nassy gurl.


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    Posted By: SweetNovember*
    Date Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 10:35pm
    I wouldn't date a man who had hit a woman so I definitely wouldn't date a man who had killed a woman.

    I have dated a cop who was present when his partner killed someone though. But the guy (who was killed) was a certified POS.


    Posted By: EPITOME
    Date Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 11:00pm
    Originally posted by FarraFace FarraFace wrote:

    Murder ain't worse than rape. I can think of a whole lot of damn good reasons to commit murder. I can't think of a single good reason to rape somebody.

    If I ever happen upon Liam Neeson, I'm sure one will come to me though.

    ur taste in whites is utterly BAFFling


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    I'm from The Wishanicca Woods boo-Dreamz

    If you are or have ever been a member of BHM, you are inherently a hoodrat.B


    Posted By: iGotSunshine
    Date Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 11:09pm
    Originally posted by FarraFace FarraFace wrote:

    I have a sweet, innocent face and I know how to use it. I'll take my chances with a jury.
     

    ma'am you are black 
    you aint getting no free passes from the juryTongue


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    “Don't be in a hurry to condemn because he doesn't do what you do or think as you think or as fast. There was a time when you didn't know what you know today.”
    ― Malcolm X


    Posted By: lovelife
    Date Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 11:11pm
    i don't remember if i posted in here, but are you serious? Dead

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    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker" rel="nofollow">


    Posted By: FarraFace
    Date Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 11:16pm
    @IGS: I'll tell em he was wearin some nut huggin pants and a white belt. I'll be aight.

    Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

    ur taste in whites is utterly BAFFling

    Still? Again?

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    Posted By: EPITOME
    Date Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 11:27pm
    Originally posted by FarraFace FarraFace wrote:

    @IGS: I'll tell em he was wearin some nut huggin pants and a white belt. I'll be aight.

    Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

    ur taste in whites is utterly BAFFling

    Still? Again?

    yesLOL you and these geriatrics...i wish i could call chris hansen on your ass!Angry


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    I'm from The Wishanicca Woods boo-Dreamz

    If you are or have ever been a member of BHM, you are inherently a hoodrat.B


    Posted By: FarraFace
    Date Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 11:30pm
    Woman, leave me alone! Jones is in a thread right now lusting over Carl Winslow, go harass her!

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    Posted By: EPITOME
    Date Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 11:33pm
    Originally posted by FarraFace FarraFace wrote:

    Woman, leave me alone! Jones is in a thread right now lusting over Carl Winslow, go harass her!

    Jesus didn't die for this!!!!





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    I'm from The Wishanicca Woods boo-Dreamz

    If you are or have ever been a member of BHM, you are inherently a hoodrat.B



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