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We never thought we could get HIV

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Printed Date: Nov 15 2018 at 1:34pm


Topic: We never thought we could get HIV
Posted By: zsazsa
Subject: We never thought we could get HIV
Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 8:29pm
Interesting read for those interested. 


We never thought we could get HIV. We were wrong: These eight heterosexual British women show how pervasive HIV has become, but it's no longer a death sentence


  • Rachel Dilly, 48, contracted HIV after unprotected sex with a new partner
  • A further seven heterosexual British women have spoken out about their condition for exhibition
  • Stand Tall Get Snapped exhibition features 30 HIV-positive Britons




At first, Rachel Dilly was simply flattered by the attention from the handsome stranger. It had been almost a year since she had separated from her partner of 20 years, with whom she had three children, and, like so many middle-aged and newly single women, she had started to explore the world of online dating.

The man who had contacted her seemed interesting and articulate. ‘We just clicked, so I agreed to meet him for dinner,’ recalls Rachel, a charity worker from Harpenden, Hertfordshire. 

'All went well at first and romance ensued. But after a few months, things ‘fizzled out’. However, for Rachel, the brief affair would have a grave legacy.

Scroll down for video

Devastated: Rachel Dilly, 48, discovered she was HIV positive after unprotected sex with a new partner

Devastated: Rachel Dilly, 48, discovered she was HIV positive after unprotected sex with a new partner

She began to feel ill, losing her sense of taste and smell and suffering from swollen glands and mouth ulcers. ‘My doctor thought it sounded like malaria but I hadn’t been abroad. When I found an ulcer on my body, I was referred to a GUM [genitourinary medicine] clinic. I wasn’t all that worried – more surprised than anything.’

Rachel was screened for all sexually transmitted infections (STIs), including HIV. ‘I really didn’t think there was any way I could be HIV-positive. To me, it was just another blood test and I wasn’t worried.’

 


    A week later, she returned for her results. The nurse was matter-of-fact. Rachel recalls: ‘She told me I was HIV-positive. It was like running into a brick wall. I don’t remember anything apart from terror.

    ‘How could something like this happen to a person like me? Yes, I had unprotected sex with a partner, but I never considered at my age that condoms were necessary. I had contraceptive injections, and that’s all I’d worried about. I realise now just what a huge mistake that was – I was incredibly naive.’

    Struggle: At first, Rachel thought she was going to die

    Hope: Rachel thought she was going to die, but now, eight years later she knows HIV does not mean the end

    At first, understandably, Rachel was bereft. ‘I was terrified about what would happen, and I became depressed and had panic attacks. I was also very ashamed. A health adviser at the clinic talked to me and answered all my questions.

    ‘I went back to her to talk a few times. I was reading lots of stuff on the internet which terrified me, but she reassured me.’

    Rachel told her children – then teenagers – about her diagnosis immediately. They were devastated. ‘They cried a lot and were convinced I was going to die. Even though I was very down, that made me want to fight, to prove them wrong.

    ‘A few weeks after diagnosis, I went out for a drive on a sunny day and decided I wasn’t going to let HIV kill me because I couldn’t leave my children without a mother.’

    Now, eight years on, Rachel, 48, has agreed to take part in a groundbreaking exhibition featuring 30 HIV-positive Britons whose photographs appear beside personal statements about living with the virus. 

    The show marks the 30th anniversary of the death of Terrence Higgins, the first man to die of AIDS in the UK.

    THE CHANGING FACE OF HIV

    The images illustrate just how pervasive HIV has become. The  first documented cases were in gay men but it is now known to affect both genders, regardless of race, sexuality, age, religion or class.

    The participants include a former policeman, a truck driver and a law student. The youngest is 23, the oldest is 71, and they span the UK.

    Together, the portraits, taken by London-based photographer Edo Zollo, make a vibrant statement: that it is possible to live a full and normal life with HIV. They are in stark contrast to the doom-laden messages of the early Eighties when the virus first emerged.

    Perhaps most surprising is that eight of the 30 are women. ‘HIV is increasing year on year in the UK heterosexual community,’ says Lisa Power, head of policy at the Terrence Higgins Trust. 

    ‘You don’t need a lurid past to get it, or to have had contact with a drug user.’ Twenty years ago, it was unusual for women to be infected. Today, a third of all those living with the virus are female – double the figure seen a decade ago. '

    Amanda, 42: I call my

    Amanda, 42, Glasgow: 'I call my "visitor" Betsy as we had to share the same body. I'm in a happier place because of my journey with her'

    Samantha, 45, Bournemouth: The light that is at the end of most tunnels continued to shine - I chose to travel towards it. I am proud of who I am

    Samantha, 45, Bournemouth: 'The light that is at the end of most tunnels continued to shine - I chose to travel towards it. I am proud of who I am'

    ‘The nature of sex and the female anatomy means it is easier for a man to give HIV to a woman than the other way around,’ explains Power. ‘The majority of women diagnosed have picked up the virus from a single sexual contact.’ 

    Many of those newly diagnosed are, like Rachel, middle-aged, recently out of a long-term relationship and resuming sexual activity with new partners, not realising they are at risk of contracting HIV.

    Post-menopausal women, who no longer worry about pregnancy and  so think they don’t need contraception, are particularly vulnerable. They are also more likely to be diagnosed later

    ‘Generally, women discover they have HIV when they have an HIV test as part of their routine ante-natal screening,’ says Power. ‘Older women don’t get this screening so they don’t know they are infected until they show symptoms.’

    Julie, 50, Leicester: I once wore a blanket of make-up to hide my feelings. Now I am photographed with no make-up, no pretence... and no fear

    Julie, 50, Leicester: 'I once wore a blanket of make-up to hide my feelings. Now I am photographed with no make-up, no pretence... and no fear'

    Angelina, 45, London: I was offered a job the week I was diagnosed. I decided to take it, to keep myself busy while I waited to die

    Angelina, 45, London: 'I was offered a job the week I was diagnosed. I decided to take it, to keep myself busy while I waited to die'

    Young women who do not remember earlier AIDS-awareness campaigns are also putting themselves at risk by having unprotected sex.

    Treatment for HIV is now so advanced that the virus can be suppressed to levels that are almost undetectable. But in some cases even this kind of therapy is ineffective, and patients are still likely to die of an AIDS-related illness.

    Despite this, perception in a younger generation can border on nonchalance. Power says young people are more sexually active and change partners more frequently, putting themselves at risk.

    Rachel never considered herself at risk – indeed she had barely considered the concept of HIV at all. She says: ‘When my relationship ended in 2004, I didn’t have much confidence and was flattered to be getting attention from men again.

    THE LIFE CYCLE OF THE VIRUS

    ‘I had two short relationships and didn’t use condoms a few times because I really didn’t think I was at risk. I thought HIV was an African disease, or a gay man’s one.’

    Rachel doesn’t know who infected her. ‘Both of my partners denied there was anything wrong with them and refused to get tested.’

    Early diagnosis is crucial. According to the Health Protection Agency, those diagnosed late are ten times more likely to die within a year of diagnosis than someone who is tested in good time. Early diagnosis could add more than 40 years to the life of someone with HIV.

    Professor Jane Anderson, chairman of the British HIV Association, who runs clinics at Homerton Hospital in London, says combination therapies (a mixture of different chemicals, which act on the virus at different stages of its life cycle) are now so effective that most people with HIV need to take only one or two pills  a day.

    ‘We have powerful and effective drugs that don’t cure HIV but are able to suppress the virus. But they need to be prescribed early in order to prevent damage to the immune system occurring,’ she says.

    Positive and proud: HIV positive Gemma, 39, from Bournemouth shows joy, hope and happiness in her photo for the exhibition

    Positive and proud: HIV positive Gemma, 39, from Bournemouth shows joy, hope and happiness in her photo for the exhibition

    Even though HIV is controllable, the stigma surrounding the disease remains. ‘HIV is unique because it wraps up all of society’s fears and issues in one hit: sex, sexuality, race and death,’ says Genevieve Edwards, director of health improvement at the Terrence Higgins Trust.

    ‘It’s crazy that we have come so far in medicine that you can now get diagnosed on the spot, take a pill a day to treat the condition and live into your 70s, but still be afraid to tell your friends you have it.

    'People like to believe that HIV is something that happens to people who aren’t “like us”, but people who get HIV are no different to anyone else.’

    Edwards says the stigma of HIV means that many of those diagnosed are marginalised at work, and even by the Health Service. 

    ‘We’ve heard of cases of dentists turning away patients with HIV because they’re afraid of infecting other patients and would have to thoroughly disinfect their equipment, which they should be doing anyway.

    Anca, 29
    Stand tall, get snapped: Anca, 29 and Memory, 46, both from London have bravely stepped forward for the exhibition

    Stand tall, get snapped: Anca, 29, left,  and Memory, 46, both from London have bravely stepped forward 

    ‘An older lady told us she couldn’t get any home helps to see her. People are still scared to touch those with HIV, even though there’s no risk of contracting the virus that way.’

    Indeed, Rachel has had problems getting dental appointments and has faced bigotry from strangers. ‘I went to a wedding with a friend and got talking to a woman there. Because I’m so open about my HIV, I mentioned it to her. The next day, my friend told me that the woman had called him to ask him not to bring me to anything again and she didn’t want me anywhere near her children.’

    Rachel believes she is lucky to have the support of her family and friends. As a volunteer at her local HIV support group, she has met many women like her. ‘There are several other British women, my age, who’ve been just as surprised as me to get HIV. The awful thing is that some of them were infected by their husbands, who were cheating on them.’

    Edwards says that education is the key, both to preventing the spread of HIV and to counteracting the stigma. ‘If people have knowledge, some of the fear drops away. Don’t assume you don’t know someone with HIV. They might just not have told you.’

    VIDEO: Stand Tall Get Snapped: The voices of 30 HIV positive Britons... 






    Replies:
    Posted By: Sang Froid
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 8:33pm
    Ummm....cool?

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    Posted By: babyk94
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 8:36pm
    No one ever thinks it will happen to them


    Posted By: Babydoll9163
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 8:36pm
    I'm glad those women were able to live life and find joy post-HIV, but I don't like how the article depicts it as if it's not that serious.

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    Stupid ppl are like a unicorn. They too do not exist. They are just liberated... liberated from knowledge. -nycdiva


    Posted By: zsazsa
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 8:38pm
    It shows that people are willing to be pictured and talk about their hiv. We have come a long way. 


    Posted By: Sang Froid
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 8:40pm
    Originally posted by Babydoll9163 Babydoll9163 wrote:

    I'm glad those women were able to live life and find joy post-HIV, but I don't like how the article depicts it as if it's not that serious.

    It's nothing to be ashamed about.



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    Posted By: ms_wonderland
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 8:41pm
    Originally posted by babyk94 babyk94 wrote:

    No one ever thinks it will happen to them

    yep...the groups most impacted are still just as surprised when they contract it...which is crazy to me.


    Posted By: EPITOME
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 8:42pm
    alrighty.

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    I'm from The Wishanicca Woods boo-Dreamz

    If you are or have ever been a member of BHM, you are inherently a hoodrat.B


    Posted By: coconess
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 8:43pm
    i better always strap up in the uk. 


    Posted By: Derri
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 8:44pm
    hmmmmmm


    Posted By: Babydoll9163
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 8:44pm
    Originally posted by Sang Froid Sang Froid wrote:



    It's nothing to be ashamed about.



    What made you think I believe they should be ashamed? I never said or suggested such.


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    Stupid ppl are like a unicorn. They too do not exist. They are just liberated... liberated from knowledge. -nycdiva


    Posted By: laceyfront
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 8:49pm

    All STD's are something to be ashamed about.



    Posted By: Sang Froid
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 8:49pm
    Originally posted by Babydoll9163 Babydoll9163 wrote:

    Originally posted by Sang Froid Sang Froid wrote:



    It's nothing to be ashamed about.



    What made you think I believe they should be ashamed? I never said or suggested such.

    I was helping you understand the point of the article since you didn't get it.


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    Posted By: Sang Froid
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 8:52pm
    Originally posted by laceyfront laceyfront wrote:

    All STD's are something to be ashamed about.


    Because sex is inhumane and disgusting right?
    You can get a viral or bacterial infection for just.....living.
    I'm not sure why STDs are regarded as much more disgusting than a cold or the flu. 


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    Posted By: ThatGurlD
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 8:52pm
    Originally posted by laceyfront laceyfront wrote:

    All STD's are something to be ashamed about.


    Hmmm.... is having sex something to be ashamed about?


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    Valleys only exist between mountains. Stay down til you come up.


    Posted By: ms_wonderland
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 8:55pm
    lacey just turned this into a 10 pager.


    Posted By: Babydoll9163
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 8:55pm
    Originally posted by Sang Froid Sang Froid wrote:


    I was helping you understand the point of the article since you didn't get it.


    Again, where did I say I didn't get it? I said I didn't like how the article depicted the disease.



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    Stupid ppl are like a unicorn. They too do not exist. They are just liberated... liberated from knowledge. -nycdiva


    Posted By: coconess
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 8:58pm
    youre probably biased sang 


    Posted By: Sang Froid
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 9:01pm
    Coco shut the up talkin' to me.
    You are annoying. 



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    Posted By: coconess
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 9:01pm
     


    Posted By: BoutThatLife
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 9:02pm
    Originally posted by coconess coconess wrote:

    youre probably biased sang 




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    I AM THE AUTHOR OF MY OWN SCRIPT AND I PLAY BY MY RULES.

    POSITIVITY + LOVE AND ALL GOOD THINGS SURROUND ME


    Posted By: EPITOME
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 9:03pm
    Originally posted by BoutThatLife BoutThatLife wrote:

    Originally posted by coconess coconess wrote:

    youre probably biased sang 




    are you making a pun with this gif? bc if so....HILARIOUS!


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    I'm from The Wishanicca Woods boo-Dreamz

    If you are or have ever been a member of BHM, you are inherently a hoodrat.B


    Posted By: ThatGurlD
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 9:04pm
    I think that a lot of people think all STDs are something to be ashamed of.  I don't know of any conversations that go like this, "Hey girl!  What are you up to?"  "Oh you know, same old same.  Herpes actin up again."  It truly is taboo still and I personally believe that is why HIV is still, regardless of all the education we now have, a threat.  There are certain things that come from sex; orgasms (hopefully), babies and STDs.  I mean come on.  But then we shake our heads at the Christian ideology of keeping your legs closed until marriage, heck we shake our fingers at girls hoping to someday GET married.  

    In my very humble opinion, there is safety in some ideas that we call old fashioned, outdated and Shocked overly conservative like abstinence and monogamy.  I don't think sex is something to be ashamed of.  I think the desire is natural and God-given.  But there's a safe way to do it and as long as all things sex are taboo, articles like these will continue to make people uneasy instead of opening their eyes to reality.  




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    Valleys only exist between mountains. Stay down til you come up.


    Posted By: coconess
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 9:04pm
    lol i was just gonna say, she probably is. 
    but i decided not to. 




    Posted By: Addicted19034
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 9:10pm
    I don't think most people tell if they have/had an std


    Posted By: Sang Froid
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 9:13pm
    Let me not get banned today. Sleepy

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    Posted By: ms_wonderland
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 9:15pm
    Originally posted by Addicted19034 Addicted19034 wrote:

    I don't think most people tell if they have/had an std

    imo, men are more open and honest about having caught std's before.


    Posted By: ScorpioLuv
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 9:15pm
    Originally posted by coconess coconess wrote:

    i better always strap up in the uk. 
    1:5 have it here in the USA, u always need to strap up

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    Sons of bitches,smh


    Posted By: ms_wonderland
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 9:25pm
    and that whole one pill thing is giving a lot of people false hope.  if you don't have insurance you aint gettin that.  most of the young and dumb folks who act like hiv is no big deal probably don't even have insurance and will be taking whatever cocktail the gov prescribes.


    Posted By: BoutThatLife
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 10:35pm
    I just had this sad thought the other day, that with my generation and the younger one, we'll probably be seeing a much higher resurgence of HIV/AIDS.  We as a group are so damn reckless and drugged up. Folks dont use condoms when they have threesomes and do whatever on Molly.  I think it is spreading like wildfire and people either arent getting tested or aint saying sh*t when they found out their results.

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    I AM THE AUTHOR OF MY OWN SCRIPT AND I PLAY BY MY RULES.

    POSITIVITY + LOVE AND ALL GOOD THINGS SURROUND ME


    Posted By: EPITOME
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 10:38pm
    what exactly is molly?Geek

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    I'm from The Wishanicca Woods boo-Dreamz

    If you are or have ever been a member of BHM, you are inherently a hoodrat.B


    Posted By: Flowing-Ice
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 10:40pm
    HIV is gon be on the rise because we're giving these little f*cks free birth control. 

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    And Jean Paul Gaultier and a Hermes bag and four inch tips made of ostrich ;Sharp enough to slit your wrists her lips spread gossip ;Won't say sorry when she offends


    Posted By: SoutherNtellect
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 10:42pm
    Originally posted by BoutThatLife BoutThatLife wrote:

    I just had this sad thought the other day, that with my generation and the younger one, we'll probably be seeing a much higher resurgence of HIV/AIDS.  We as a group are so damn reckless and drugged up. Folks dont use condoms when they have threesomes and do whatever on Molly.  I think it is spreading like wildfire and people either arent getting tested or aint saying sh*t when they found out their results.

    i didn't kno what a molly was til about a week ago via bhm, but i've been listening to my ipod lately and now realize how popular this stuff is. (at least talking about it is)


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    Posted By: Sang Froid
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 10:45pm
    Molly is like X.
    It used to be a powder that you rub on your gums and now they done put it in a capsule.


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    Posted By: Sang Froid
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 10:46pm
    Originally posted by Flowing-Ice Flowing-Ice wrote:

    HIV is gon be on the rise because we're giving these little f*cks free birth control. 

    Doubt it.
    And I don't know why you're calling them little *&%^$#@Es since grown folks have the highest rates. 


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    Posted By: EPITOME
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 11:03pm
    Originally posted by Flowing-Ice Flowing-Ice wrote:

    HIV is gon be on the rise because we're giving these little f*cks free birth control. 

    how does that work? are condoms not a method of birth control that too can be distributed for free?


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    I'm from The Wishanicca Woods boo-Dreamz

    If you are or have ever been a member of BHM, you are inherently a hoodrat.B


    Posted By: ms_wonderland
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 11:04pm
    That was the most republican statement I've read all day.


    Posted By: coconess
    Date Posted: Dec 15 2012 at 11:05pm
    condoms seem to be more of a hassle for ppl though. 

    it seems like girls will pop a pill, wear a patch, stick some device up their gina, or whatever new things they have invented.. 
    over making sure a guy puts a condom on every time. 


    Posted By: afrokock
    Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 2:28am
    Originally posted by coconess coconess wrote:

    i better always strap up in the uk. 
    lol

    funny, considering you are probably more of a risk to us than us to you



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    I just can't stand the negro british midget. He brings out the worst in me.....

    ...
    I sometimes think AfroK is gay and either doesn't know it or won't admit to it..


    Posted By: ImThatDiva
    Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 2:40am
    Originally posted by coconess coconess wrote:

    condoms seem to be more of a hassle for ppl though. 

    it seems like girls will pop a pill, wear a patch, stick some device up their gina, or whatever new things they have invented.. 
    over making sure a guy puts a condom on every time. 
    Lmao. That's so pathetic. I wonder how much of a hassle it'll be paying for their medication. I wonder how much of a hassle it'll be if they can't and they're deteriorating quickly.


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    Mrs.ImThatModdlessDiva
    TWERKIN' MY WAY DOWNTOWN
    CARS DRIVE PAST
    DRIVERS CRASH AND I'M LOWDOWN
    -Midna


    Posted By: afrokock
    Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 2:44am
    Originally posted by coconess coconess wrote:

    condoms seem to be more of a hassle for ppl though. 

    it seems like girls will pop a pill, wear a patch, stick some device up their gina, or whatever new things they have invented.. 
    over making sure a guy puts a condom on every time. 


    yeah i dont get the lax over condom use

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    I just can't stand the negro british midget. He brings out the worst in me.....

    ...
    I sometimes think AfroK is gay and either doesn't know it or won't admit to it..


    Posted By: ImThatDiva
    Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 2:44am
    Originally posted by laceyfront laceyfront wrote:

    All STD's are something to be ashamed about.

    yes because the poor woman or man who got it from their spouse they didn't know was cheating on them should be ashamed.
    Or the 12 year old child who contracted it from the family member that's molesting them they should be ashamed.
    Or the rape victim who contracted it.
    Or the patient in the hospital that got it because the hospital made some kind of mistake.
    They should all be ashamed.Sleepy

    I understand the stigma associated with these, however, I also know not everyone contracts it the way you think they did.


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    Mrs.ImThatModdlessDiva
    TWERKIN' MY WAY DOWNTOWN
    CARS DRIVE PAST
    DRIVERS CRASH AND I'M LOWDOWN
    -Midna


    Posted By: ImThatDiva
    Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 2:47am
    I can't say I feel anything for the women in the OP who decided it was rational to go bareback. They had their fun. Now they are paying for it. True it is no longer a death sentence but you've still got a deadly virus that could have been avoided had you any sense of self preservation.
    People will continue not to use condoms and contract this disease. I guess the bomb.com orgasm is worth it all.





















    Not.Sleepy




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    Mrs.ImThatModdlessDiva
    TWERKIN' MY WAY DOWNTOWN
    CARS DRIVE PAST
    DRIVERS CRASH AND I'M LOWDOWN
    -Midna


    Posted By: laceyfront
    Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 10:08am
    Originally posted by ThatGurlD ThatGurlD wrote:

    Originally posted by laceyfront laceyfront wrote:

    All STD's are something to be ashamed about.


    Hmmm.... is having sex something to be ashamed about?
    not protecting yourself def is


    Posted By: laceyfront
    Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 10:17am
    Originally posted by ImThatDiva ImThatDiva wrote:

    Originally posted by laceyfront laceyfront wrote:

    All STD's are something to be ashamed about.

    yes because the poor woman or man who got it from their spouse they didn't know was cheating on them should be ashamed.
    Or the 12 year old child who contracted it from the family member that's molesting them they should be ashamed.
    Or the rape victim who contracted it.
    Or the patient in the hospital that got it because the hospital made some kind of mistake.
    They should all be ashamed.Sleepy

    I understand the stigma associated with these, however, I also know not everyone contracts it the way you think they did.
    Or the lady who sat on a public toilet and contracted it. Stern Smile Lets be real, the majority of people with std's did not get them that way.


    Posted By: petiteone29
    Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 11:56am
    I dont think HIV or any std is something to be proud of. But i also dont think these people should walk around ashamed either. Its just a part of your life now.


    Posted By: ms_wonderland
    Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 12:00pm
    I don't believe any adult over a certain age who tells me theyve never had unprotected sex.


    Posted By: Bunnyahh
    Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 12:36pm
    I believe afro has never had unprotected sex intercouse

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    Hi BHM!! Lovely day I'm having. How about you?


    Posted By: 313chick
    Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 12:40pm
    Originally posted by laceyfront laceyfront wrote:

    Originally posted by ImThatDiva ImThatDiva wrote:

    Originally posted by laceyfront laceyfront wrote:

    All STD's are something to be ashamed about.

    yes because the poor woman or man who got it from their spouse they didn't know was cheating on them should be ashamed.
    Or the 12 year old child who contracted it from the family member that's molesting them they should be ashamed.
    Or the rape victim who contracted it.
    Or the patient in the hospital that got it because the hospital made some kind of mistake.
    They should all be ashamed.Sleepy

    I understand the stigma associated with these, however, I also know not everyone contracts it the way you think they did.
    Or the lady who sat on a public toilet and contracted it. Stern Smile Lets be real, the majority of people with std's did not get them that way.
    I was just about to say this

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    Posted By: EPITOME
    Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 12:46pm
    Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

    I don't believe any adult over a certain age who tells me theyve never had unprotected sex.


    what age? 


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    I'm from The Wishanicca Woods boo-Dreamz

    If you are or have ever been a member of BHM, you are inherently a hoodrat.B


    Posted By: Flowing-Ice
    Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 12:55pm
    Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

    Originally posted by Flowing-Ice Flowing-Ice wrote:

    HIV is gon be on the rise because we're giving these little f*cks free birth control. 

    how does that work? are condoms not a method of birth control that too can be distributed for free?

    Stern Smile
    you take away the cost of potential children, most teens will not go and spend 3 dollars or so for new condoms. the focus of this country is birth control, and not disease control. 



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    And Jean Paul Gaultier and a Hermes bag and four inch tips made of ostrich ;Sharp enough to slit your wrists her lips spread gossip ;Won't say sorry when she offends


    Posted By: ms_wonderland
    Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 12:56pm
    Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:


    Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

    I don't believe any adult over a certain age who tells me theyve never had unprotected sex.



    what age? 


    I'd say 30...if the person has had an active, healthy sex life.


    Posted By: ms_wonderland
    Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 12:58pm
    @flowing...free condoms are everywhere though and more accessible than free bc because u don't even need an appt to get them. I never even bought condoms when I was younger unless I wanted some speciality stuff.


    Posted By: eanaj5
    Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 12:58pm
    they need to make condoms free...the good ones...and non-latex, all of the free condoms ive seen were latex material Sleepy

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    [IMG]http://i50.tinypic.com/28mflg8.gif%5b/IMG]


    Posted By: Flowing-Ice
    Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 1:01pm
    Originally posted by Sang Froid Sang Froid wrote:

    Originally posted by Flowing-Ice Flowing-Ice wrote:

    HIV is gon be on the rise because we're giving these little f*cks free birth control. 

    Doubt it.
    And I don't know why you're calling them little *&%^$#@Es since grown folks have the highest rates. 

    high schools get high schoolers tested through those blood drives.
    and the rates are high. (not including the fact that many other teens will never get tested)

    around me 25% are new cases. so... yeah. i don't doubt it. 


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    And Jean Paul Gaultier and a Hermes bag and four inch tips made of ostrich ;Sharp enough to slit your wrists her lips spread gossip ;Won't say sorry when she offends


    Posted By: Flowing-Ice
    Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 1:05pm
    Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

    @flowing...free condoms are everywhere though and more accessible than free bc because u don't even need an appt to get them. I never even bought condoms when I was younger unless I wanted some speciality stuff.

    women are more likely to get free birth control from their doctor than men would be to get it from the planned parenthood kind of places. a guy once told me he uses plan b as birth control. again, the focus isn't on disease control, its on birth control. (even though he lives in the highest rate of HIV city)

    i mean, since having insurance is going to be mandated, and they will be going to the doctor... it will be much easier for them. 


    -------------
    And Jean Paul Gaultier and a Hermes bag and four inch tips made of ostrich ;Sharp enough to slit your wrists her lips spread gossip ;Won't say sorry when she offends


    Posted By: ms_wonderland
    Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 1:19pm
    I don't think the problem is that birth control is more focused on than disease prevention. Promoting condoms didn't work. Schools give them out, clinics, hospitals, etc...the campaign for condom use was all you saw..promo of condoms was the main goal but it failed and std's kept rising and unplanned pregnancies rised as well. If one problem can be curbed its worth going that route.

    I just don't think free birth control is going to promote the rise in HIV cases.


    Posted By: afrokock
    Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 1:19pm
    Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

    I don't believe any adult over a certain age who tells me theyve never had unprotected sex.


    Originally posted by Bunnyahh Bunnyahh wrote:

    I believe afro has never had unprotected sex intercouse


    this is true



    but on that wedding night though ..



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    I just can't stand the negro british midget. He brings out the worst in me.....

    ...
    I sometimes think AfroK is gay and either doesn't know it or won't admit to it..


    Posted By: afrokock
    Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 1:20pm
    Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

    Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:


    Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

    I don't believe any adult over a certain age who tells me theyve never had unprotected sex.



    what age? 


    I'd say 30...if the person has had an active, healthy sex life.
    not everyone is careless

    but i understand the natural instinct to expect others to follow in/or has had similar to ones sexual transgressions most likely out of guilt

    32 and counting btw

    -------------
    I just can't stand the negro british midget. He brings out the worst in me.....

    ...
    I sometimes think AfroK is gay and either doesn't know it or won't admit to it..


    Posted By: cvzx
    Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 1:23pm
    I just saw a commercial for an over the counter HIVE test...has anyone else seen this commercial?


    Posted By: ms_wonderland
    Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 1:24pm
    Your wife will either have an std on your wedding night or she won't. The only thing that has changed is the ceremony. Nowadays the fiancée is given the same privileges as the spouse and live in Bf/gfs too.


    Posted By: afrokock
    Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 1:27pm
    Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

    Your wife will either have an std on your wedding night or she won't. The only thing that has changed is the ceremony. Nowadays the fiancée is given the same privileges as the spouse and live in Bf/gfs too.
    what does that have to do with you not believing anyone over 30 has never had unprotected sex?

    i thought this was about sexual behaviour and risk of exposure not legal rights..

    but, alas, you could be right.. thank god for regular joint testing



    -------------
    I just can't stand the negro british midget. He brings out the worst in me.....

    ...
    I sometimes think AfroK is gay and either doesn't know it or won't admit to it..


    Posted By: Flowing-Ice
    Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 1:27pm
    Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

    I don't think the problem is that birth control is more focused on than disease prevention. Promoting condoms didn't work. Schools give them out, clinics, hospitals, etc...the campaign for condom use was all you saw..promo of condoms was the main goal but it failed and std's kept rising and unplanned pregnancies rised as well. If one problem can be curbed its worth going that route.

    I just don't think free birth control is going to promote the rise in HIV cases.

    thats kind of a myth. HIV education, with the promotion of condoms did help condom use. 
    (no schools surrounding me are allowed to give condoms, i don't think, probably why there are so many case) 

    unplanned pregnancies don't help that a child will get HIV. i know some like to compare, but it is still a failure. with the amount of condoms available, there shouldn't be a problem. if condoms were subsidized so they gave out the "good stuff" in doctor's offices, in classes, in clinics etc it would prevent both. i believe as a state that should do what is "best" for their constituents, were missing the boat on that. giving out some lollipop condoms (in most cases, only when they're asked) in free clinics isn't enough.  


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    And Jean Paul Gaultier and a Hermes bag and four inch tips made of ostrich ;Sharp enough to slit your wrists her lips spread gossip ;Won't say sorry when she offends


    Posted By: afrokock
    Date Posted: Dec 16 2012 at 1:29pm
    if one wants to look at the success of hiv condom campaigns, look at southern africa's hiv trends, between 1990-2000 and 2000-2010

    -------------
    I just can't stand the negro british midget. He brings out the worst in me.....

    ...
    I sometimes think AfroK is gay and either doesn't know it or won't admit to it..


    Posted By: laceyfront
    Date Posted: Dec 17 2012 at 1:13pm
    Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

    Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

    Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:


    Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

    I don't believe any adult over a certain age who tells me theyve never had unprotected sex.



    what age? 


    I'd say 30...if the person has had an active, healthy sex life.
    not everyone is careless

    but i understand the natural instinct to expect others to follow in/or has had similar to ones sexual transgressions most likely out of guilt

    32 and counting btw
    I think that was a shot but it was fvking eloquent that i cant tell
     



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