Print Page | Close Window

Should I ask her??

Printed From: Black Hair Media Forum
Category: Lets Talk
Forum Name: Talk, Talk, and More Talk
Forum Description: In this Forum, the talk is about everything that can be talked about.
URL: http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=351822
Printed Date: Dec 11 2017 at 6:30am


Topic: Should I ask her??
Posted By: petiteone29
Subject: Should I ask her??
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:35pm
On thanksgiving day a close relative's wife was showing me pictures of their 2month old baby on her cellphone. She told me to keep sliding the screen to see the rest of the pics and she walked off. So im sliding and i come across this picture of her with bruises on her face. Its almost like those pictures the police take as evidence when someone has been assaulted. Her lip was split, her eye was black and her face was scratched. Im not gonna lie, i did continue to slide the screen to see if there were more pictures of this nature. I saw a few more of bruises on her body like her arms and thighs. I was shocked. Im not sure how old the pics were.

So anyways her husband came over to where i was and was like "oh your'e looking at the pictures of the baby? he is getting big isnt he?"

By this time i had started scrolling back the pics to the baby pics so he wouldnt see the pics i discovered.

Well her husband grabbed the phone and started scrolling through the pics. Judging by the sudden tense look on his face i could tell he had discovered the pics that i saw. He looked pissed. He walked over to her and was like "lets go right now" she looked confused and was like "why?". I saw him show her the phone and he was like " why do you still have these?"

She didnt say anything. I honestly didnt know what to say or do. They started arguing about leaving. She wanted to stay. So i told her that i could give her a ride home if he wanted to go. But she said " no its ok" and she left with him.

I was gonna ask her about the pics if i gave her a ride but that didnt happen. So now im trying to think if i should reach out to her. I wonder if she wanted me to see those pics.

On the outside they seem like a normal loving couple who have verbal spats every now and then but i never would have guessed physical abuse was taking place.

They have been married for about a year and i am not like super tight with her but we are cool. Im not sure how she would feel about me bringing this up.

What do yall think? Should i call her and talk to her or stay out of it?







Replies:
Posted By: Ms.Best
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:36pm
Stay out of married folks business.


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:37pm
Maybe she did that for you to see and for you to know.


If a person knows something like that is in their phone one would be extra cautious about who sees it I would think.

At least you could let her know that you are open to talk .

-------------
Never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee
Donne

Havmercy Dez Bryant


Posted By: Flowing-Ice
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:38pm
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

Maybe she did that for you to see and for you to know.

right. i don't thikn she forgot that the pictures were there. 
you should reach out to her. 


-------------
And Jean Paul Gaultier and a Hermes bag and four inch tips made of ostrich ;Sharp enough to slit your wrists her lips spread gossip ;Won't say sorry when she offends


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:38pm
Originally posted by petiteone29 petiteone29 wrote:

On thanksgiving day a close relative's wife was showing me pictures of their 2month old baby on her cellphone. She told me to keep sliding the screen to see the rest of the pics and she walked off. So im sliding and i come across this picture of her with bruises on her face. Its almost like those pictures the police take as evidence when someone has been assaulted. Her lip was split, her eye was black and her face was scratched. Im not gonna lie, i did continue to slide the screen to see if there were more pictures of this nature. I saw a few more of bruises on her body like her arms and thighs. I was shocked. Im not sure how old the pics were.

So anyways her husband came over to where i was and was like "oh your'e looking at the pictures of the baby? he is getting big isnt he?"

By this time i had started scrolling back the pics to the baby pics so he wouldnt see the pics i discovered.

Well her husband grabbed the phone and started scrolling through the pics. Judging by the sudden tense look on his face i could tell he had discovered the pics that i saw. He looked pissed. He walked over to her and was like "lets go right now" she looked confused and was like "why?". I saw him show her the phone and he was like " why do you still have these?"

She didnt say anything. I honestly didnt know what to say or do. They started arguing about leaving. She wanted to stay. So i told her that i could give her a ride home if he wanted to go. But she said " no its ok" and she left with him.

I was gonna ask her about the pics if i gave her a ride but that didnt happen. So now im trying to think if i should reach out to her. I wonder if she wanted me to see those pics.

On the outside they seem like a normal loving couple who have verbal spats every now and then but i never would have guessed physical abuse was taking place.

They have been married for about a year and i am not like super tight with her but we are cool. Im not sure how she would feel about me bringing this up.

What do yall think? Should i call her and talk to her or stay out of it?






yikes! do you have any other reason to suspect abuse?


-------------
I'm from The Wishanicca Woods boo-Dreamz

If you are or have ever been a member of BHM, you are inherently a hoodrat.B


Posted By: tatee
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:39pm
call her thats why she wanted you to see the pics.


Posted By: zolloh
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:39pm

Call her ASAP...if you cant ask over the phone, take her out to lunch or something.

Quote On the outside they seem like a normal loving couple who have verbal spats every now and then but i never would have guessed physical abuse was taking place.

Classic abusive relationship.



Posted By: iSMILE13
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:39pm
My conscious wouldn't let me not say anything. At the very least let her know that you are there if she ever needs you

-------------
Be humble or get him humbled

Ignore typos...autocorrect won't let me be great


Posted By: Bored w/Out Me?
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:39pm
Stay out of it, until She's ready to go there is nothing You can do anyway...


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:40pm
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:


call her, you say she is a close relative

your post seems like you are concerned, not nosy and judgmental




yeah I am concerned.she is the wife of a close relative. she has been around for about two years.


Posted By: kkscottdale
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:40pm
sounds like a tyler perry movie.

Cry


Posted By: IslandSuga
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:40pm
At the very least reach out to her, and see if she's interested in wanting help. If not at least you know you tried. Tread lightly though you don't want to ruffle her husband's feathers.


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:40pm
Originally posted by Ms.Best Ms.Best wrote:

Stay out of married folks business.


Damn , I'm glad we aren't like that.
My bro in law knows me and my sisters talk and my mother is overbearing.

Man if we thought he was abusing her.....smh

-------------
Never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee
Donne

Havmercy Dez Bryant


Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:41pm
Call her, hun.. You don't just forget if you have pics like that..

-------------


Posted By: iSMILE13
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:41pm
I would schedule lunch or something. Bring up the pics in a way without passing judgment. Get a feel of how receptive she is and go from there.

-------------
Be humble or get him humbled

Ignore typos...autocorrect won't let me be great


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:42pm
Originally posted by iSMILE13 iSMILE13 wrote:

I would schedule lunch or something. Bring up the pics in a way without passing judgment. Get a feel of how receptive she is and go from there.


Yeah this is good.

-------------
Never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee
Donne

Havmercy Dez Bryant


Posted By: EasterBell
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:42pm

I would reach out.. She probably aware that you saw those pics and she probably wanted you to see them. I would think she would have been a little hesistant to let you look through her phone if she didn't know you were going to come across those pics..



Posted By: rubynaturalprincess
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:42pm
hopefully she is willing to talk, talk to her in secret when the time is right. damn thats scary.....

-------------
Positive energy in, negative energy out


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:42pm
Originally posted by kkscottdale kkscottdale wrote:

sounds like a tyler perry movie.

Cry




i know it does sound crazy but i think she is keeping evidence just in case she calls the police or something. idk


Posted By: happy 4b
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:43pm
I'm all for staying out of people's relationships but not when it comes to abuse.
I think she wanted you to see the pics. Do you know of anyone else who has the same relationship with her like you?


Posted By: Flowing-Ice
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:43pm
so the abuser is related to you? 

-------------
And Jean Paul Gaultier and a Hermes bag and four inch tips made of ostrich ;Sharp enough to slit your wrists her lips spread gossip ;Won't say sorry when she offends


Posted By: babelipsss
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:43pm
Tell her you saw the pictures, but I am sure her husband already told her that.  Unfortunately you might get blamed.  No win situation.  Just be there if she needs someone to talk to.


Posted By: Prazol60
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:43pm
I agree with iSmile. If she does agree to meet up with you and says she is being abused then have a list of phone numbers and places see can check out. There are tips online on how to help a person out of an abusive situation without placing yourself in harms way. 


Posted By: Flowing-Ice
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:44pm
Originally posted by petiteone29 petiteone29 wrote:

Originally posted by kkscottdale kkscottdale wrote:

sounds like a tyler perry movie.

Cry




i know it does sound crazy but i think she is keeping evidence just in case she calls the police or something. idk
or people won't believe that she in a abusive relationship. 


-------------
And Jean Paul Gaultier and a Hermes bag and four inch tips made of ostrich ;Sharp enough to slit your wrists her lips spread gossip ;Won't say sorry when she offends


Posted By: Qualified
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:44pm
In my family you have NO business. Let a relative/friend/family friend/ The Family Pet- scroll through my phone and see some ish like that, and you can believe they're setting it off ON THE SPOT, and if the answers arent convincing enough they cracking jaws and bussin nuts and (thats just the women)...

Then the men will come dragging in and all hell will break loose. For real, that may have been a low key cry for help. Im certain she knew those pictures were in there. Her insisting that you continue to scroll makes me feel as though she needed you to see that. She may be a little evasive at first, but I truly feel like it was cry for help.


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:46pm
yeah i think i will invite her to lunch or something. ill ask how they are doing and everything and then let her know what i saw. im wondering if she called the police when it happened.


Posted By: freedom76
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:47pm
Call her. She probably needs someone to talk to about the situation.

-------------
I find women that encourage double standards on other women disgusting./femmefatale85


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:47pm
Originally posted by Flowing-Ice Flowing-Ice wrote:

so the abuser is related to you? 


yeah


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:47pm
Yes Qualy lol it gets me mad just thinking about it.
I love my brother in law and he is very good to my sister and we see him as family.


But if I were to find out he was abusing my sister .
He could just forget about it right there.
My parents told him from the beginning she is now your wife and your partner but your status in this family is conditional.
Treat her right .


-------------
Never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee
Donne

Havmercy Dez Bryant


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:49pm
She wanted you to know. You don't accidentally keep pics of your abuse on your phone. And with her husband being a relative of yours, I can see why she did it that way. She probably felt that a picture was worth a thousand words. Does she have family of her own she could have leaned on or is she isolated?


Posted By: BrownQtee
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:50pm
This makes me sad. I hope he didn't whoop her that night when they left. SMH.


Posted By: zolloh
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:50pm
Hoping those pics are backed up on cloud. They were likely deleted as soon as he hightailed her out of that dinner Pinch


Posted By: Flowing-Ice
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:50pm
Originally posted by petiteone29 petiteone29 wrote:

Originally posted by Flowing-Ice Flowing-Ice wrote:

so the abuser is related to you? 


yeah

then i see even more reason that it might have been intentional. 
i think she needs support from somewhere. hope you're able to help her out OP. 


-------------
And Jean Paul Gaultier and a Hermes bag and four inch tips made of ostrich ;Sharp enough to slit your wrists her lips spread gossip ;Won't say sorry when she offends


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:51pm
Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:



She wanted you to know. You don't accidentally keep pics of your abuse on your phone. And with her husband being a relative of yours, I can see why she did it that way. She probably felt that a picture was worth a thousand words. Does she have family of her own she could have leaned on or is she isolated?


her fam is in ny


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:51pm
Help her Petite the best way you can.

She is reaching out for someone

-------------
Never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee
Donne

Havmercy Dez Bryant


Posted By: Qualified
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:53pm
Exactly @ Jonesy and Jolie. Even if the abuser is our family. I have had a cousin get his ass handed to him by our uncles, and some aunts when we found out he was beating his children's mother for breakfast, lunch and dinner. You're not beating on any woman in this family, whether related by blood, marriage or otherwise. Have your arguments, whatever, but the minute you go laying hands, trust and believe you will regret it.


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:54pm
Originally posted by petiteone29 petiteone29 wrote:

Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:



She wanted you to know. You don't accidentally keep pics of your abuse on your phone. And with her husband being a relative of yours, I can see why she did it that way. She probably felt that a picture was worth a thousand words. Does she have family of her own she could have leaned on or is she isolated?


her fam is in ny
 
Classic pattern. She probably felt you were the only one around who just might be receptive to her situation. She was testing the waters. Her husband being a relative of yours, she might have felt she wouldn't have been believed otherwise. You need to reach out to her, OP. This was a call for help.


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:54pm
i believe in staying out of married folk business when it comes to verbal spats or economic disagreements but when someone is getting smacked i believe the police and everyone else should be involved

-------------
I'm from The Wishanicca Woods boo-Dreamz

If you are or have ever been a member of BHM, you are inherently a hoodrat.B


Posted By: jonesable
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:56pm
When it gets physical all bets are off.


But on the another hand.
I'd alert them when it comes to cheating too.
Nevermind ill make a thread

-------------
Never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee
Donne

Havmercy Dez Bryant


Posted By: tatee
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 1:57pm
yeah this is something that the whole family should be involved in. this situation is serious and could end up with a life lost.


Posted By: SimplyPut
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 2:03pm
I would call her and just say, "I'm here if you need someone to talk too (pause), or a place to go(pause)okay....Okay.............OKAY!" That way you can let her know that your open to the idea, and you can see if there is any hesitation or get a read for her emotional status.


Posted By: tropical-punch
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 2:05pm
Originally posted by Ms.Best Ms.Best wrote:

Stay out of married folks business.
disgusting. You married?


Posted By: Rumbera
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 2:05pm
Call her and block your number when you call. Call during a time you would think he is not home.


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 2:05pm
OP, how close are you to this relative and what are your feelings on him since you made that discovery on her phone?


Posted By: HowardAlumAKA
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 2:06pm
Why do you think it's him? Has she been with him for awhile?


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 2:06pm
Originally posted by tatee tatee wrote:

yeah this is something that the whole family should be involved in. this situation is serious and could end up with a life lost.


yeah. i think i am going to talk to her first and then tell the fam.


Posted By: Jess
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 2:07pm
She wanted you to find those pics.  She needs help.

-------------


Posted By: laceyfront
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 2:09pm
She aint gone leave him so it doesnt really matter what you do anyways.


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 2:12pm
Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:



OP, how close are you to this relative and what are your feelings on him since you made that discovery on her phone?


i look at him the way i would look at any abuser. i dont put anything past anybody because they are fam. i think he is a punk and not a man.


Posted By: BeatriceBean
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 2:12pm

I agree, ask her out to lunch. Her phone calls and messages might be monitored. But I definitely think that you should ask her if everything is okay and let her know that you're there for her if she needs help.



-------------
Life is good!


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 2:14pm
Originally posted by HowardAlumAKA HowardAlumAKA wrote:

Why do you think it's him? Has she been with him for awhile?


at first i wasnt sure it was him because i heard her ex husband was abusive also. so i was thinking maybe it was him. but when her husband got mad from seeing the pics i felt certain it was him. i dont see any other reason why that would bother him


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 2:16pm
Originally posted by laceyfront laceyfront wrote:

She aint gone leave him so it doesnt really matter what you do anyways.


unfortunately this may be true. ive seen it before. but im still gonna talk to her.its her decision in the end.


Posted By: Jewelsnyc
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 2:17pm
Originally posted by BeatriceBean BeatriceBean wrote:

I agree, ask her out to lunch. Her phone calls and messages might be monitored. But I definitely think that you should ask her if everything is okay and let her know that you're there for her if she needs help.

this

-------------
You gon get this work Nicca


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 2:18pm
Originally posted by petiteone29 petiteone29 wrote:

Originally posted by HowardAlumAKA HowardAlumAKA wrote:

Why do you think it's him? Has she been with him for awhile?


at first i wasnt sure it was him because i heard her ex husband was abusive also. so i was thinking maybe it was him. but when her husband got mad from seeing the pics i felt certain it was him. i dont see any other reason why that would bother him


you don't see why he'd be mad that she kept pictures of her previous abuse on her phone? i most certainly can


-------------
I'm from The Wishanicca Woods boo-Dreamz

If you are or have ever been a member of BHM, you are inherently a hoodrat.B


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 2:18pm
Wow, this is messy. She seems to have a history of falling into abusive relationships. Like most said in this thread, let her know discreelty that you are here for you if she needs anything at all. If she's ready to make a move, that might embolden her to reach out


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 2:21pm
Originally posted by Elohim_is_Love Elohim_is_Love wrote:

So no one listen to my post? Knock him out or get some men and jump and beat him like he beats her. I want to see Oliver smackdown on that bully azz mean azz negroe!!!


i hear you el. i dont know whats going to happen if and when her family or the rest of my family finds out. but a beatdown may or may not take place.


Posted By: Chyna_Li
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 2:25pm
im sure she knows u say the pics.
i would reach out. let her know she doesnt have to talk now but im here whenever she gets ready


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 2:26pm
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:


Originally posted by petiteone29 petiteone29 wrote:

Originally posted by HowardAlumAKA HowardAlumAKA wrote:

Why do you think it's him? Has she been with him for awhile?


at first i wasnt sure it was him because i heard her ex husband was abusive also. so i was thinking maybe it was him. but when her husband got mad from seeing the pics i felt certain it was him. i dont see any other reason why that would bother him



you don't see why he'd be mad that she kept pictures of her previous abuse on her phone? i most certainly can


can you explain?

no i dont understand. i would think he would be more sensitive and understanding not pissed off and ready to haul tail out of a family get together because she has evidence of abuse she has suffered on her phone.


Posted By: ModelessDiva
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 2:26pm




I know one thing, you better keep us updated on this story



-------------
Having a bunch of sexual partners doesn't mean you're a free spirit and expressing yourself...it means your a hoe. -call


Posted By: Jewelsnyc
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 2:28pm
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:


jewels, that man keeps licking his lips at the other man....what is that about?
 
The guy you see is a prolific wordsmith named Loaded Lux. He competely dismantled his appoinment during a battle.


-------------
You gon get this work Nicca


Posted By: Faithfully2002
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 2:29pm
Originally posted by iSMILE13 iSMILE13 wrote:

I would schedule lunch or something. Bring up the pics in a way without passing judgment. Get a feel of how receptive she is and go from there.


-------------


Posted By: lumii18
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 2:32pm
Originally posted by Ms.Best Ms.Best wrote:

Stay out of married folks business.
once someone starts getting a beat down in a marriage, it is no longer just "married folk business" Sleepy


-------------


Posted By: lumii18
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 2:33pm
Originally posted by petiteone29 petiteone29 wrote:

Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:


Originally posted by petiteone29 petiteone29 wrote:

Originally posted by HowardAlumAKA HowardAlumAKA wrote:

Why do you think it's him? Has she been with him for awhile?


at first i wasnt sure it was him because i heard her ex husband was abusive also. so i was thinking maybe it was him. but when her husband got mad from seeing the pics i felt certain it was him. i dont see any other reason why that would bother him



you don't see why he'd be mad that she kept pictures of her previous abuse on her phone? i most certainly can


can you explain?

no i dont understand. i would think he would be more sensitive and understanding not pissed off and ready to haul tail out of a family get together because she has evidence of abuse she has suffered on her phone.
this, plus even if it wasn't him...there's a reason she still has those pics on her phone.. she might still need someone to talk to 


-------------


Posted By: Princess_S
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 2:35pm
this is a tough one!i would say reach out to let her know that if she needs your support and wants to talk you are her for her
 
If she declines do not push the issue!


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 2:37pm
ok so i called her. she was at at work. we are meeting up tomorrow to do some "christmas shopping" and grab lunch.

so ill bring it up to her and see what happens.


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 2:38pm
Originally posted by petiteone29 petiteone29 wrote:

ok so i called her. she was at at work. we are meeting up tomorrow to do some "christmas shopping" and grab lunch.

so ill bring it up to her and see what happens.

Hug


-------------
I'm from The Wishanicca Woods boo-Dreamz

If you are or have ever been a member of BHM, you are inherently a hoodrat.B


Posted By: Princess_S
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 2:39pm
Originally posted by petiteone29 petiteone29 wrote:

ok so i called her. she was at at work. we are meeting up tomorrow to do some "christmas shopping" and grab lunch.

so ill bring it up to her and see what happens.
Thumbs Up HOpe it goes well and it was old pics from the ex.
 


Posted By: Rumbera
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 2:45pm
Keep us updated !!!!!!!!


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 2:52pm
will do


Posted By: carolina cutie
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 3:16pm
Good luck Petite!

-------------
<--Classy & Educated O.

"You're telling us your beefing with your bf's mother over $1 ice cream like it was blood diamonds." RickyR



Posted By: Ladykmp
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 3:44pm
Originally posted by Ms.Best Ms.Best wrote:

Stay out of married folks business.

There's a distinct difference in being concerned & meddling in their business. Advice like this is why domestic violence is so high. Please be sure to check to see if she was trying to reach out for help.


Posted By: Miss SDY
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 4:26pm
Everyone said what I wanted or needed to say so just keep us updated and help her out as much as you can and as much as she is willing to let you help her.. Hug

-------------
http://daisypath.com" rel="nofollow">

NL----[SL]----APL----BSB----BSL

Closing in on APL!!!



Posted By: Addicted19034
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 5:09pm
I hope your friend gets the hel she needs


Posted By: Anah
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 7:54pm
Originally posted by Qualified Qualified wrote:

In my family you have NO business. Let a relative/friend/family friend/ The Family Pet- scroll through my phone and see some ish like that, and you can believe they're setting it off ON THE SPOT, and if the answers arent convincing enough they cracking jaws and bussin nuts and (thats just the women)...

Then the men will come dragging in and all hell will break loose. For real, that may have been a low key cry for help. Im certain she knew those pictures were in there. Her insisting that you continue to scroll makes me feel as though she needed you to see that. She may be a little evasive at first, but I truly feel like it was cry for help.

CryLOL@ the bolded

Your fam is the bombClap


-------------
#CHOGH


Posted By: solo
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 7:56pm
Are y'all really good friends?

-------------
- solo


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 8:00pm
Originally posted by Ms.Best Ms.Best wrote:

Stay out of married folks business.

seriously....y'all are worse than the illuminati.


-------------
God forgive me for my brash delivery
But I remember vividly what these streets did to me


Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 8:04pm
chile I read nothing but the first few lines

If he was my close relative ... I'm taking up the case

How would depend, but I'm opening up a case file on him and will get down to the bottom of it

If the pics weren't related to him, he wouldn't have gotten upset, he wouldn't have made them leave and he would've explained them to you

there's nothing for me to ask her




Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 8:05pm
I would've legit emailed myself the first pic and then worked on the rest




Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 8:06pm
stay out of it?

what happens when she's dead?

oh well?

no.


Posted By: Cream1970
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 8:24pm
I hope its not your relative. It IS possible its from her previous relationship. And her new hubby is upset if he thinks she's still viewing/holding on to the past. And maybe he was upset because he thought you thought he did it. Maybe he felt this was a private matter that had happened in the past and didn't want gossip to spread. Maybe he didn't want ppl to look down on/judde her from staying in her previous abusive relationship as long as she did.
 
*whispers* yeahhhh, I heard her last husband used to beat her..She musta been dumb to stay w/ a man like that..Couldn't have been me..I woulda left the 1st time.."
 
 
Just playing Devil's Advocate.


-------------


Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 8:33pm
the pics were right beside the recent baby pics ....

she kept pics of herself battered and bruised instead of the actual boyfriend ... to reminisce?  

maybe 

but I'll find out because imma investigate


Posted By: nitabug
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 8:33pm
Originally posted by Cream1970 Cream1970 wrote:

I hope its not your relative. It IS possible its from her previous relationship. And her new hubby is upset if he thinks she's still viewing/holding on to the past. And maybe he was upset because he thought you thought he did it. Maybe he felt this was a private matter that had happened in the past and didn't want gossip to spread. Maybe he didn't want ppl to look down on/judde her from staying in her previous abusive relationship as long as she did.
 
*whispers* yeahhhh, I heard her last husband used to beat her..She musta been dumb to stay w/ a man like that..Couldn't have been me..I woulda left the 1st time.."
 
 
Just playing Devil's Advocate.

This really isn't a time for playing though :/

but since you want to play, the likely hood that she had a new baby...and the abuse pics were inbetween the new baby and THEIR Wedding....and other recent events...because in cell phones, time descends....no


-------------
God forgive me for my brash delivery
But I remember vividly what these streets did to me


Posted By: Cream1970
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 8:47pm
Originally posted by rickysrose rickysrose wrote:

the pics were right beside the recent baby pics ....

she kept pics of herself battered and bruised instead of the actual boyfriend ... to reminisce?  

maybe 

but I'll find out because imma investigate
 
I still have mine from when my ex bf  beat my azz and that was 8 yrs ago. I can upload them into an album with recent pics so they can be in any sequence. Someone could look thru my phone and assume the guy I'm dating now is beating my ass..You never know so I suggest asking/investigating before assuming. People die everyday because someone didn't have all the evidence and assumed. Thats all I'm saying.


-------------


Posted By: purple.chuckz
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 8:57pm
Just let her know that you're there for her. 
If she lives close by and is family, randomly stop by and tell her that you were in the neighborhood and were just stopping by to say hi.


-------------
Women are not the problem. they are the solution.


Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 9:11pm
is that what people really die of LOL

I'm sorry that your ex beat you, glad that he's an ex.  So do you have those pics in your phone now?  If you do, why?




Posted By: Cream1970
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 9:23pm
I don't know if you misunderstood me of chose to pretend that you didn't. *pinches cheeks*
My point I was TRYING to make is simply, gather facts before jumping to conclusions. People want to be the judge & jury and convict someone when they have one piece of evidence.
 
I don't need you to be sorry that my ex beat me. But, thanks..
 
I don't have them in my phone but it would be very easy to put them there. In any album, in any sequence I chose.
 
FTR, I am in no way defending a POSSIBLE abuser. I know sometimes some of the all knowing ladies of BHM sometimes take things out of context any time you make a statement/post an opinion that isn't in line with the majority.
 
Maybe someone can tell me what is out of order by me suggesting that the OP get as much info as possible so she can better assist this young lady. I don't remember saying anything that suggested anything other that.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


-------------


Posted By: FarraFace
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 9:50pm
My close male relatives don't lay hands on women. Consequently, I have had to lay hands on women cuz they were on some 'I can do/say whatever to him cuz I know he ain't gon hit me' type shyt.

And while blood is thicker than water, I have also cussed plenty of my close male relatives out on behalf of wives/SOs when they were doing trifling shyt. Yes, I beez all up in they bizness like that. LOL

So, my close male relative woulda had some splainin to do. Right then and there.



-------------


Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 10:09pm


I said I would investigate several times, even before you came into the thread so I'm not sure what point you're still trying to make

and cream, you are jumping to conclusions as well ... we're all postulating

and I'm still sorry that your ex abused you Hug no one should have to live through that, even though it's too common




Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 10:12pm
Originally posted by Cream1970 Cream1970 wrote:


Originally posted by rickysrose rickysrose wrote:

the pics were right beside the recent baby pics ....

she kept pics of herself battered and bruised instead of the actual boyfriend ... to reminisce?  

maybe 

but I'll find out because imma investigate

 
I still have mine from when my ex bf  beat my azz and that was 8 yrs ago. I can upload them into an album with recent pics so they can be in any sequence. Someone could look thru my phone and assume the guy I'm dating now is beating my ass..You never know so I suggest asking/investigating before assuming. People die everyday because someone didn't have all the evidence and assumed. Thats all I'm saying.




creampie i understand what you are saying. but i dont think that is the case with this situation. but i will find out tomorrow.



Posted By: Cream1970
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 10:17pm

I hope she gets the help she needs ASAP, esp w/ a baby being involved. Please keep us updated OP.

 

Ricky, I apologize for my snappy reply. Hug 
 
 
I am sure we are all on the same page with wanting this situation to not be what the OP suspects, but it likely is, and with the parties involved getting the help they need ASAP.
 
Don't want another Jovan Belcher situation.


-------------


Posted By: rickysrose
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 10:24pm


It's ok cream ... it's a sensitive subject, things get heated, especially if you lived it through it, I understand

now if it was another subject we could have spent the next 10 pages chewing each other's jugulars LOL


Posted By: Cream1970
Date Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 11:16pm
Ricky, you are absolutely right!

-------------


Posted By: ScorpioLuv
Date Posted: Dec 08 2012 at 1:43am
Call her. My bf's aunt was murdered by her exbf a few months ago bc everyone knew but no one would help her

-------------
Sons of bitches,smh


Posted By: petiteone29
Date Posted: Dec 09 2012 at 12:11pm
So i met with her yesterday and she pretty much started talking about it before i could bring it up. So he is beating on her. There has also been some sexual abuse. I wont go into the details but it is pretty bad.

So thankfully she has already signed a lease for a new place for her and the baby. She has an exit plan! Her husband has no idea. She asked me if i could get my husband and my brother and dad to help her move her stuff out and take it to the new place.

I told my fam what was up and everyone is pissed that he has been treating her like that.
So me, my dad, brother and husband are going over there today to help her move.

I honestly dont know what his reaction is going to be. My dad and them are prepared either way. Hopefully there wont be any craziness.



Posted By: Posh Ams
Date Posted: Dec 09 2012 at 12:16pm
Oh my goodness that's so sad. Thank God she is wise enough and strong enough to get away from this coward!


Posted By: kkscottdale
Date Posted: Dec 09 2012 at 12:17pm
Thank goodness OP. It's a good thing you "didn't stay out of married folk's business" this time.

But just keep tabs on him especially, because some men just don't know how to let go. It's so crazy how far they are willing to not let go


Posted By: mrshairdo
Date Posted: Dec 09 2012 at 12:22pm
Geeeez

God bless u for helping her out Petite..., please make sure ppl from your fam stay with her or monitor him/her for the first few months because the woman leaving is usually the most dangerous time


Posted By: EPITOME
Date Posted: Dec 09 2012 at 12:51pm
well gotdamn.

-------------
I'm from The Wishanicca Woods boo-Dreamz

If you are or have ever been a member of BHM, you are inherently a hoodrat.B


Posted By: tropical-punch
Date Posted: Dec 09 2012 at 12:54pm
I'm trying to resist the urge to say summa y'all ain't sh*t.


Posted By: Derri
Date Posted: Dec 09 2012 at 12:57pm
Oooo gosh I am so sad this is happening
I hope he doesn't find out where she will be living because he could get very upset now. 



Print Page | Close Window