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Self Esteem workshop

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Printed Date: Oct 21 2018 at 2:55pm


Topic: Self Esteem workshop
Posted By: noneyons
Subject: Self Esteem workshop
Date Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 10:50am
What steps have you taken to love yourself? What advice would you give to others?

I'ma name a few and come back later to list some more if anyone's interested in this thread. If it fades into oblivion, oh well.


-Refrain from judging other people's physical appearances. Judgement makes you insecure because we then tend to become more self conscious of our own flaws.

-Try to compliment at least one person every day (preferably a black woman if you are a black woman, a black man if you are a black man).

-Recognize your own weaknesses in others and give them the same pass you'd expect people to give you for your personality shortcomings.

-Treat others the way you want to be treated

-Take care of your physical appearance with regular grooming etc. When you look good (to you), you feel good.

I'll add more later...


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As a species,human beings define their reality through suffering and misery. The perfect world was a dream that your primitive cerebrum kept trying to wake up from.
-Agent Smith



Replies:
Posted By: Rumbera
Date Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 10:52am
- I try to not to be so judgemental.(this is very hard for me)
 
-I compliment myself everyday.
 


Posted By: babyk94
Date Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 11:03am
I think what helps me build my self esteem is by exceeding my expectations and mastering my skills and hobbies. I also think it's really important to not think you are better than others because of superficial things etc.


Posted By: KinksnWinks
Date Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 11:45am
I try to have a postive outlook on everything I do,
 
and instead of worrying about every possible negative outcome, I have to breath and remind myself that even if the situation turns out to be bad I will still be alive to tommorrow


Posted By: eanaj5
Date Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 12:00pm
Take yourself on dates
Eat right/exercise
set daily goals
smile
dance to music when your alone
twerk Stern Smile <---- i've never known anyone to be sad while twerking. true story


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[IMG]http://i50.tinypic.com/28mflg8.gif%5b/IMG]


Posted By: Harmonii
Date Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 12:02pm
Originally posted by eanaj5<br />twerk <img src=smileys/smiley22.gif border=0 alt=Stern Smile title=Stern Smile /> <---- i've never known anyone to be sad while twerking. true story<br /><br /><br />[/QUOTE eanaj5
twerk Stern <---- i've never known anyone to be sad while twerking. true story


[/QUOTE wrote:




I just died


I just died


Posted By: Regalness
Date Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 12:28pm
Originally posted by Harmonii Harmonii wrote:

Originally posted by eanaj5<BR>twerk <img src=smileys/smiley22.gif border=0 alt=Stern Smile title=Stern Smile /> <---- i've never known anyone to be sad while twerking. true story<BR><BR><BR></td></tr></table> <BR><BR><img src=smileys/smiley36.gif border=0 align=middle /> <img src=smileys/smiley36.gif border=0 align=middle /> I just died [/QUOTE eanaj5
twerk Stern <---- i've never known anyone to be sad while twerking. true story




I just died [/QUOTE wrote:

 
YASSSSS I flatlined...that is a valid point though.  That made my day. LMAO
 
YASSSSS I flatlined...that is a valid point though.  That made my day. LMAO


Posted By: Regalness
Date Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 12:44pm
Now I will add my advice:
 
Try not to compare myself and my life to others (I struggle with this one)
Be grateful and content with what you have
write down all of your accomplishments


Posted By: Becky
Date Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 3:15pm
Look at it this way - if you meet someone that is a thnking intellent person, well educated, business minded and doing well for herself .. then you admore her. So .. you hold her in 'esteem'.
 
Well if you are building and developing yourselif, your work, your education, your language etc ( you don't have to brag about it or let folks know) .. then YOU are the person held in esteem by yourself. So .. this is self-esteem.
 
This would be the OPPOSITE of trying find rich man to give you 'things', relying  on having 'a man' to validate you, getting knocked up by several baby daddys, staying with a guy that cheats and later belittles you, getting in physical fights with men and women, dressing like a tramp .. and anything along these lines. This stuff screams 'I am so desparate that I am willing do anything for atttention'. These woman have low self-esteem.


Posted By: Brownsugar1
Date Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 3:25pm
becky
whaaaa Confused

carry on Clap


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When there is no enemy within,
the enemies outside cannot hurt you.


Posted By: BeatriceBean
Date Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 3:27pm

Don't take things personally, and don't internalize other people's problems (with you or otherwise). There are a lot of hurt people in the world, whether they show it or not, and being treated poorly isn't indicative of your worth.

And to that, stand up for yourself, and when the time comes, stand up for others. If you sit back and take abuse then you'll begin to think that you deserve it.


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Life is good!


Posted By: honeyb87
Date Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 3:28pm
Build up on my talents
Improve my looks without obsessing over it
Stop trying to please everyone/ stop giving a fck
Being happy with what I already have
Being more comfortable with my weirdness and only accepting people who accept me
Strengthening my spirituality and connection with God
Learning new skills/trades
Going out by myself
Cutting people out of my life that are toxic or don't communicate with me anymore...
Acknowledge my accomplishments in case the "I am a loser" thought comes into my head
Exercise/detoxing regularly
Embrace people/situations/locations/ideas/items that entice my imagination.
Busy work (house cleaning, organizing papers, etc.)
Don't take criticism and negativity too seriously

...Just doing what makes ME happy.

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Going through a quarter life crisis. Judge me if you will. No fcks will be given though.

Don't call a b*tch a b*tch unless you like the b*tch


Posted By: noneyons
Date Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 4:11pm
Heart to all you ladies!!!

I'ma add more when my mind is clear


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As a species,human beings define their reality through suffering and misery. The perfect world was a dream that your primitive cerebrum kept trying to wake up from.
-Agent Smith


Posted By: noneyons
Date Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 4:16pm
To elaborate on my initial post, some people might wonder why I put so much emphasis on how we treat one another. 

Crazy as it may sound, this has been tried and true in my life. The way we treat other people is a refection of what we think of ourselves and it seems to have some miraculous ricochet effect to uplift others even when I'm feeling down.


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As a species,human beings define their reality through suffering and misery. The perfect world was a dream that your primitive cerebrum kept trying to wake up from.
-Agent Smith


Posted By: noneyons
Date Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 4:22pm
get to know yourself. tweak your imperfections and own who you are. every single last molecule of your beautiful self. No one can take away what you are. 




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As a species,human beings define their reality through suffering and misery. The perfect world was a dream that your primitive cerebrum kept trying to wake up from.
-Agent Smith


Posted By: noneyons
Date Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 4:37pm
while its fresh in my mind, we have to CHOOSE happiness and be certain that happiness is really what we want. 

No one would ever admit that they want to be unhappy but some of us are deceiving ourselves because, really, just like an addict is addicted to drugs, we're addicted to the drama, addicted to being miserable. When that's all we know, it becomes like our safe haven and we really enjoy waddling in it. 

This has actually been proven scientifically. 

I'll post a cute video about it later.

eta: drama is fun in small doses. just don't overdose on itBig smile


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As a species,human beings define their reality through suffering and misery. The perfect world was a dream that your primitive cerebrum kept trying to wake up from.
-Agent Smith


Posted By: zsazsa
Date Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 4:42pm
Originally posted by eanaj5 eanaj5 wrote:

Take yourself on dates
Eat right/exercise
set daily goals
smile
dance to music when your alone
twerk Stern Smile <---- i've never known anyone to be sad while twerking. true story

LOLhaha, I love that. I actually laughed out loud. Self esteem is one of the biggest greatest gift you can give yourself/children. 


Posted By: noneyons
Date Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 5:33pm
Don't allow yourself to be validated by anyone else. When you give someone else the power to boost you up, they also have the power to take it away. Take it all with a grain of salt and validate yourself. 

Here's the video. I posted it in another thread a long time ago. Kinda long but its cute imo






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As a species,human beings define their reality through suffering and misery. The perfect world was a dream that your primitive cerebrum kept trying to wake up from.
-Agent Smith


Posted By: kkscottdale
Date Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 5:50pm
I'm really vain( I'm a leo so...), however I'm realizing that being into your looks means that you're confident in them at all. It's the opposite. I'm trying to find a balance because I'm really subconscious of my flaws and I've been told it's in my head. It's a struggle. So I'm cruising in this thread and I agree with trying to not judge people. I realize that although I don't say what I'm thinking, I'm still internalizing the judgement, so that will have to stop. I also am trying to not taking everything personal( it really can make your life miserable). I just tell myself, "It's not all about you." But I also don't think it's all about the other person either. I just take the situation matter of fact and look at it objectively. I also have to tell my emotions to STOP. Because they really can cloud your judgement.

I used to have really poor self esteem( lord, my ratchet past). But it's gotten much better with age, but I know its a daily process.


Posted By: honeyb87
Date Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 6:01pm
Originally posted by kkscottdale kkscottdale wrote:

I'm really vain( I'm a leo so...), however I'm realizing that being into your looks means that you're confident in them at all. It's the opposite. I'm trying to find a balance because I'm really subconscious of my flaws and I've been told it's in my head. It's a struggle. So I'm cruising in this thread and I agree with trying to not judge people. I realize that although I don't say what I'm thinking, I'm still internalizing the judgement, so that will have to stop. I also am trying to not taking everything personal( it really can make your life miserable). I just tell myself, "It's not all about you." But I also don't think it's all about the other person either. I just take the situation matter of fact and look at it objectively. I also have to tell my emotions to STOP. Because they really can cloud your judgement.

I used to have really poor self esteem( lord, my ratchet past). But it's gotten much better with age, but I know its a daily process.


OMG this!!! (and I'm a libra...we are just as vain) LOL


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Going through a quarter life crisis. Judge me if you will. No fcks will be given though.

Don't call a b*tch a b*tch unless you like the b*tch


Posted By: FarrahTheLibra
Date Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 6:05pm
Keep God (or your center) first.

Listen to your spirit. Be true to YOU. 

Drink a lot of water! Idk it makes me feel good.

Meditate. Relax. Inhale. Exhale.

Laugh as much as you can. 

Hold on to a smile as long as you can.

Don't take things so serious. We are all human.


Posted By: FarrahTheLibra
Date Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 6:05pm
Originally posted by honeyb87 honeyb87 wrote:

Originally posted by kkscottdale kkscottdale wrote:

I'm really vain( I'm a leo so...), however I'm realizing that being into your looks means that you're confident in them at all. It's the opposite. I'm trying to find a balance because I'm really subconscious of my flaws and I've been told it's in my head. It's a struggle. So I'm cruising in this thread and I agree with trying to not judge people. I realize that although I don't say what I'm thinking, I'm still internalizing the judgement, so that will have to stop. I also am trying to not taking everything personal( it really can make your life miserable). I just tell myself, "It's not all about you." But I also don't think it's all about the other person either. I just take the situation matter of fact and look at it objectively. I also have to tell my emotions to STOP. Because they really can cloud your judgement.

I used to have really poor self esteem( lord, my ratchet past). But it's gotten much better with age, but I know its a daily process.


OMG this!!! (and I'm a libra...we are just as vain) LOL

@ honeyb yesssssss!!!!!


Posted By: femmefatale85
Date Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 6:08pm
I am a huge ruminator...So I really had to accept and let go of every mistake I made. I dwell on things too much and it can bring me down and distract me from the present.

I take good care of my body. I don't know about other people, but exercise makes me feel amazing physically and mentally. It gives me amazing confidence.

I keep good people around me. People that are doing well in their lives and it motivates me.

I stroke my ego a lot. I constantly have to remind myself of my accomplishments, no matter how far away my new ones may seem.


Posted By: Derri
Date Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 6:25pm
Great thread OP. you are always so motivating and encouraging. I admire your positivity. 

I am highly self reflective, and so I work on my mental state continuously. 
I truly believe that a mentally sound mind is the key to the goodness in life. All good things flow to you when you are mentally sober and sound, things both spiritual and physical. 
That is the root of my self love. 



Posted By: prettiimamii
Date Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 7:34pm
Imma take all these tips, i had low self esteem off & on since 3rd grade tbh so anything that can help me to not feel like shyt that isn't drugs I'll be cool lol



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YEA MAN , I MEAN IF A GIRL DOESN'T LIKE A 20 YEAR OLD WITH A DEEP VOICE OVER HEAVY BASSED BEATS TALKING ABOUT RAPE & MURDER WHAT IS SHE GONNA LIKE?? - DJae


Posted By: noneyons
Date Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 8:06pm
Realize that, despite appearances, NO ONE has it all figured out. We are all works in progress. This should take off some of the pressure. 

Thanks for your feedback ladies. I'll be watching, taking notes and contributing more to this thread as the thoughts come. 




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As a species,human beings define their reality through suffering and misery. The perfect world was a dream that your primitive cerebrum kept trying to wake up from.
-Agent Smith


Posted By: UrbanElegance
Date Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 8:14pm
Love this thread!


Posted By: weaves4life
Date Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 9:31pm
OP, thank you for starting this tread. I will have to bookmark this so that I can read this throughout the day (especially while I'm at work).   


Posted By: blaquefoxx
Date Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 9:36pm
Originally posted by honeyb87 honeyb87 wrote:

Build up on my talents
Improve my looks without obsessing over it

Stop trying to please everyone/ stop giving a fck
Being happy with what I already have

Being more comfortable with my weirdness and only accepting people who accept me
Strengthening my spirituality and connection with God
Learning new skills/trades
Going out by myself
Cutting people out of my life that are toxic or don't communicate with me anymore...
Acknowledge my accomplishments in case the "I am a loser" thought comes into my head
Exercise/detoxing regularly
Embrace people/situations/locations/ideas/items that entice my imagination.
Busy work (house cleaning, organizing papers, etc.)
Don't take criticism and negativity too seriously

...Just doing what makes ME happy.


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Posted By: 313chick
Date Posted: Dec 05 2012 at 10:21pm
Originally posted by honeyb87 honeyb87 wrote:

Build up on my talents
Improve my looks without obsessing over it
Stop trying to please everyone/ stop giving a fck
Being happy with what I already have
Being more comfortable with my weirdness and only accepting people who accept me
Strengthening my spirituality and connection with God
Learning new skills/trades
Going out by myself
Cutting people out of my life that are toxic or don't communicate with me anymore...
Acknowledge my accomplishments in case the "I am a loser" thought comes into my head
Exercise/detoxing regularly
Embrace people/situations/locations/ideas/items that entice my imagination.
Busy work (house cleaning, organizing papers, etc.)
Don't take criticism and negativity too seriously

...Just doing what makes ME happy.


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Posted By: noneyons
Date Posted: Dec 06 2012 at 12:04am
Any suggestions specific to the plight of black women?

I'll add some tomorrow.


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As a species,human beings define their reality through suffering and misery. The perfect world was a dream that your primitive cerebrum kept trying to wake up from.
-Agent Smith


Posted By: missunfoolish
Date Posted: Dec 06 2012 at 6:56am
"not take things so srsly" my god i wish i could do that

*working on myself*



Posted By: babyk94
Date Posted: Dec 06 2012 at 7:24am
Originally posted by noneyons noneyons wrote:

Any suggestions specific to the plight of black women?

I'll add some tomorrow.
Don't worry about the whole light skin vs dark skin. You are beautiful no matter what. Love your hair regardless if it is relaxed, textlaxed, natural. Wear your hair the way that makes you happy. Embrace your shape


Posted By: eanaj5
Date Posted: Dec 08 2012 at 8:39am
Dont worry about the opinions of others

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[IMG]http://i50.tinypic.com/28mflg8.gif%5b/IMG]


Posted By: noneyons
Date Posted: Dec 08 2012 at 9:21am
The world thinks so little of us that we have no way to go but UP! Use that to your advantage, beautiful black women. Let it free you from obsessing over being perfect or not good enough. Let it liberate you from hiding your light. 

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As a species,human beings define their reality through suffering and misery. The perfect world was a dream that your primitive cerebrum kept trying to wake up from.
-Agent Smith


Posted By: afrikan gal
Date Posted: Dec 08 2012 at 9:33am
Originally posted by noneyons noneyons wrote:

The world thinks so little of us that we have no way to go but UP! Use that to your advantage, beautiful black women. Let it free you from obsessing over being perfect or not good enough. Let it liberate you from hiding your light. 

AMEN


Posted By: naturesgift
Date Posted: Dec 08 2012 at 10:10am
Read books on personal growth and self development do the work in them.
volunteer to work in a cause that is close to your heart
Love yourself
Love someone else
be open to new ideas but also have high values of your own
always choose to do the right thing


Posted By: naturesgift
Date Posted: Dec 08 2012 at 10:14am
Travel (even if its locally)-
it helps to improve your perspective on yourself/ *insights


Posted By: callmeDEva
Date Posted: Dec 08 2012 at 11:12am
This thread is a gem

Really needed to read some of these pointers! Good stuff

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There's power in your rolling hills. - My Aunt Jill


Posted By: lovelife
Date Posted: Dec 08 2012 at 11:34am
working out
cut people out of my life that would make snide remarks and try to bring me down
read more
do things that i  enjoy
smile/laugh more
set goals (short & long term)
work toward those goals
accomplish those goals  
don't compare myself to others 
"The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday"


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http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker" rel="nofollow">


Posted By: weaves4life
Date Posted: Dec 08 2012 at 12:00pm
Originally posted by lovelife lovelife wrote:

 
"The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday"


Love this


Posted By: cvzx
Date Posted: Dec 08 2012 at 12:03pm

Originally posted by lovelife lovelife wrote:

working out
cut people out of my life that would make snide remarks and try to bring me down
read more
do things that i  enjoy
smile/laugh more
set goals (short & long term)
work toward those goals
accomplish those goals  
don't compare myself to others 
"The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday"



stop being judgemental don't bat ur eyes at thirsty ass mothers...they move on to someone else when they realize u got not a damn thing for them. No need to go back and forth most things we need not dwell on stress ages . keep positive but honest people in ur inner circle.


Posted By: Brownsugar1
Date Posted: Jan 27 2013 at 11:44am


-------------

When there is no enemy within,
the enemies outside cannot hurt you.


Posted By: Gia2009
Date Posted: Jan 27 2013 at 12:14pm
Originally posted by Regalness Regalness wrote:

Originally posted by Harmonii Harmonii wrote:

Originally posted by eanaj5<br>twerk <img src=smileys/smiley22.gif border=0 alt=Stern Smile title=Stern Smile /> <---- i've never known anyone to be sad while twerking. true story<br><br><br></td></tr></table> <br><br><img src=smileys/smiley36.gif border=0 align=middle /> <img src=smileys/smiley36.gif border=0 align=middle /> I just died</td></tr></table> 
<div></div>
<div> </div>
<div>YASSSSS I flatlined...that is a valid point though.  That made my day. LMAO </div>[/QUOTE eanaj5
twerk Stern <---- i've never known anyone to be sad while twerking. true story




I just died
 
YASSSSS I flatlined...that is a valid point though.  That made my day. LMAO
[/QUOTE wrote:



Ikr!! After reading that! I"m done!!DeadLOL


Ikr!! After reading that! I"m done!!DeadLOL


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http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker" rel="nofollow][/URL]
   <a href="http://www.myfitnesspal.com" target="_b


Posted By: Chi_town75
Date Posted: Jan 27 2013 at 12:27pm
Therapy.

I know some people can't afford it or don't think it's a viable option but you would be pleasantly surprised at what you can learn about yourself through having a professional hear you out. I've been seeing one because last year was a lot more traumatic than I could handle. It's been a blessing because my confidence in myself and the things that I can accomplish steadily increases daily.

I've been trying to do all of the things that make me happy, especially getting back into shape. Seriously, if you look good you feel good and have a contagious aura about yourself.


Posted By: cvzx
Date Posted: Jan 27 2013 at 12:49pm
Wow my mind ran on this thread last night!


Posted By: modelbusiness82
Date Posted: Jan 27 2013 at 5:57pm
1. Stop worrying about what other ppl think

2. Take time to find your own passions

3. Actualize those passions!!

4. Avoid negative ppl like the plague

5. Don't engage in negative behavior (if you're wasting time gossiping about others, then your happiness is false as it's based on the debasement of others)

6. Make short & long term goals. As you accomplish the short term, you'll begin to feel better about yourself and your esteem will rise.

7. Treat yourself, don't wait for someone else to notice that you deserve something

8. Change things you don't like about yourself

9. Don't fear change - change is always good


I used to have horrible self esteem as a child, and I literally had to reinvent myself to become a stronger person as people know me today. I got bullied quite a bit until I started HS bc I was very shy and for some stupid reason, people mistook my shyness for being conceited. And thanks to vocal ppl in my school, I pretty much thought I was one of the ugliest things walking. One of the best things I ever did was going out of state for college & distancing myself from all the negativity of the ppl I went to school with (as many of them I'd known since elementary). It gave me a chance to meet new people, start fresh and also discover more about who I was as an adult rather than the image of myself that others projected to me as a child. 


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digital entertainment marketer -
BASM Blog: www.bigapplestyle.com



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