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Workplace bully/Manipulator

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Printed Date: Sep 23 2018 at 1:24pm


Topic: Workplace bully/Manipulator
Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Subject: Workplace bully/Manipulator
Date Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 8:43am
Have you ever been exposed to an expert manipulator in the workplace? One who goes out of her way to destroy the reputation of everyone else within the team, yet has the backing of human resources and even, to some extent, of the department manager who is afraid of her clout? Most importantly, has it ever ended well for you? I'm reading a book on this very topic and this person I speak of exhibits all the traits and behaviours ascribed to a workplace bully and manipulator. The problem is that recourse in that type of situation is not always the most effective...



Replies:
Posted By: Miss SDY
Date Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 8:50am
Yes, I'm not so sure of HR backing but she does have the supervisors tap dancing around her and she has our manager's boss kinda in her corner bc she used to work with him before she transferred to the current region she's at with us..

I don't know what to do about it because I am close to putting in my two weeks notice.

Funny because I was going to make a thread about my situation.

-------------
http://daisypath.com" rel="nofollow">

NL----[SL]----APL----BSB----BSL

Closing in on APL!!!



Posted By: kkscottdale
Date Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 8:53am
When an environment is too toxic for me, I just leave.

It's hard to make changes as one person. If she is ruining everyone's reputation and others haven't spoke up about it, then its hard to make things better without some backing/evidence(other people speaking out too).

I hate coming to a job where I am miserable. I am only as loyal to my job as I need to be to progress in my career.


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 8:58am
Originally posted by Miss SDY Miss SDY wrote:

Yes, I'm not so sure of HR backing but she does have the supervisors tap dancing around her and she has our manager's boss kinda in her corner bc she used to work with him before she transferred to the current region she's at with us..

I don't know what to do about it because I am close to putting in my two weeks notice.

Funny because I was going to make a thread about my situation.
I myself am keeping my eyes open for a new opportunity (no luck so far). But this is the second time in a row that I'm confronted with this and it seens that Human resources was not created to defend the employees but management. And my manager is scared sh*tless of her, as she has somewhat managed to get the previous team fired by mounting a case (don't know how the hell she managed that feat, but she did). Now she deems herself invincible. She insults EVERYBODY in the team on a regular basis and will have you believe that only her work is valid and nobody elses. Complaints have been filed against her by other colleagues to no avail. To complicate things further, the manager is not capable of assessing the quality of the work of those that are under her authority and therefore depends on her to do it! This is mind-bogling to me. I'm reading this book called "The bully at work" and this bish fits the profile to a T!


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 9:02am
Originally posted by kkscottdale kkscottdale wrote:

When an environment is too toxic for me, I just leave.

It's hard to make changes as one person. If she is ruining everyone's reputation and others haven't spoke up about it, then its hard to make things better without some backing/evidence(other people speaking out too).

I hate coming to a job where I am miserable. I am only as loyal to my job as I need to be to progress in my career.
 
That's the thing, though. This is the second workplace situation where i've had to leave due to a toxic environment but I'm getting sick of being on the losing end of this. People have spoken up to the manager individually and she knows the deal. Problem is she says one thing to you in private and another in public because she's afraid that her flaws will be revealed. She's the nicest person there is, but her management skills are lacking for allowing this person to roam free and unchecked. And I do have to earn a living,
 
I'd love to know if someone on here has ever battled a similar situation and come out on top, and what they did to protect themselves


Posted By: Miss SDY
Date Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 9:26am
Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:



Originally posted by Miss SDY Miss SDY wrote:

Yes, I'm not so sure of HR backing but she does have the supervisors tap dancing around her and she has our manager's boss kinda in her corner bc she used to work with him before she transferred to the current region she's at with us..

I don't know what to do about it because I am close to putting in my two weeks notice.

Funny because I was going to make a thread about my situation.

I myself am keeping my eyes open for a new opportunity (no luck so far). But this is the second time in a row that I'm confronted with this and it seens that Human resources was not created to defend the employees but management. And my manager is scared sh*tless of her, as she has somewhat managed to get the previous team fired by mounting a case (don't know how the hell she managed that feat, but she did). Now she deems herself invincible. She insults EVERYBODY in the team on a regular basis and will have you believe that only her work is valid and nobody elses. Complaints have been filed against her by other colleagues to no avail. To complicate things further, the manager is not capable of assessing the quality of the work of those that are under her authority and therefore depends on her to do it! This is mind-bogling to me. I'm reading this book called "The bully at work" and this bish fits the profile to a T!



You just wrote my story almost to a T. This is my second rodeo with a very toxic work environment. I work with this lady on second shift. She starts out as nice. Everyone warned me without warning me about hoe this lady is. Gradually, as I became familiar with the procedures, she started doing less and less and I start doing more and more work. It is to the point to where she is not pulling any weight at all and she makes up fake reasons as to why she can't do this and that. She thinks she's perfect and she has more mistakes than our whole department put together.

I started noticing how fake she is. She grins and kee-kee's in everyone's face and then talks so much sh*t behind their backs. Our direct supervisor let's her do these things because he says she knows a lot about our department. Plus she's cool with our region manager. Once I started noticing these things, and discussing them, my co-workers begin to talk more about her and they wanted me to see for myself vs telling me when I was relatively new. 4 people that worked my same shift with her have quit because of not getting along with this woman and that this woman is lazy. This lady had also went to HR on a few people. But its really hard to get fired from our company so..

But I have not been looking hard for a job just yet because of the holidays but I am about to get to searching hard soon. I'm to the point where I'm boiling over and I've been kind of rude and nasty to her. It's not full fledged like it can be but she knows I hate her now. She's been talking cash money sh*t about me to other co-workers and its out of control now. This woman is 55 years old. She can't take what she dishes out and is known to cry when people go left on her and get in her ass.

-------------
http://daisypath.com" rel="nofollow">

NL----[SL]----APL----BSB----BSL

Closing in on APL!!!



Posted By: Miss SDY
Date Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 9:33am
Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:



Originally posted by kkscottdale kkscottdale wrote:

When an environment is too toxic for me, I just leave.

It's hard to make changes as one person. If she is ruining everyone's reputation and others haven't spoke up about it, then its hard to make things better without some backing/evidence(other people speaking out too).

I hate coming to a job where I am miserable. I am only as loyal to my job as I need to be to progress in my career.



 
That's the thing, though. This is the second workplace situation where i've had to leave due to a toxic environment but I'm getting sick of being on the losing end of this. People have spoken up to the manager individually and she knows the deal. Problem is she says one thing to you in private and another in public because she's afraid that her flaws will be revealed. She's the nicest person there is, but her management skills are lacking for allowing this person to roam free and unchecked. And I do have to earn a living,
 
I'd love to know if someone on here has ever battled a similar situation and come out on top, and what they did to protect themselves



My manager is an awesome man but he is not handling this lady like he needs to either. People in my department complain amongst ourselves but no formal.complaint with HR has been filed yet. We know our direct management ain't sh*t but we hate to go over their heads and want to follow the chain of command. But I have decided to just move on because I refuse to spend my days stressed at a place where I spend 8 hours or more at.

I haven't came out on top in this situation yet. I left my last job and they fired my manager 3 weeks after I started my current job.

-------------
http://daisypath.com" rel="nofollow">

NL----[SL]----APL----BSB----BSL

Closing in on APL!!!



Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 9:39am
Originally posted by Miss SDY Miss SDY wrote:

Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:



Originally posted by Miss SDY Miss SDY wrote:

Yes, I'm not so sure of HR backing but she does have the supervisors tap dancing around her and she has our manager's boss kinda in her corner bc she used to work with him before she transferred to the current region she's at with us..

I don't know what to do about it because I am close to putting in my two weeks notice.

Funny because I was going to make a thread about my situation.

I myself am keeping my eyes open for a new opportunity (no luck so far). But this is the second time in a row that I'm confronted with this and it seens that Human resources was not created to defend the employees but management. And my manager is scared sh*tless of her, as she has somewhat managed to get the previous team fired by mounting a case (don't know how the hell she managed that feat, but she did). Now she deems herself invincible. She insults EVERYBODY in the team on a regular basis and will have you believe that only her work is valid and nobody elses. Complaints have been filed against her by other colleagues to no avail. To complicate things further, the manager is not capable of assessing the quality of the work of those that are under her authority and therefore depends on her to do it! This is mind-bogling to me. I'm reading this book called "The bully at work" and this bish fits the profile to a T!



You just wrote my story almost to a T. This is my second rodeo with a very toxic work environment. I work with this lady on second shift. She starts out as nice. Everyone warned me without warning me about hoe this lady is. Gradually, as I became familiar with the procedures, she started doing less and less and I start doing more and more work. It is to the point to where she is not pulling any weight at all and she makes up fake reasons as to why she can't do this and that. She thinks she's perfect and she has more mistakes than our whole department put together.

I started noticing how fake she is. She grins and kee-kee's in everyone's face and then talks so much sh*t behind their backs. Our direct supervisor let's her do these things because he says she knows a lot about our department. Plus she's cool with our region manager. Once I started noticing these things, and discussing them, my co-workers begin to talk more about her and they wanted me to see for myself vs telling me when I was relatively new. 4 people that worked my same shift with her have quit because of not getting along with this woman and that this woman is lazy. This lady had also went to HR on a few people. But its really hard to get fired from our company so..

But I have not been looking hard for a job just yet because of the holidays but I am about to get to searching hard soon. I'm to the point where I'm boiling over and I've been kind of rude and nasty to her. It's not full fledged like it can be but she knows I hate her now. She's been talking cash money sh*t about me to other co-workers and its out of control now. This woman is 55 years old. She can't take what she dishes out and is known to cry when people go left on her and get in her ass.
 
Jeezus, they all use the EXACT SAME STRATEGIES! It's like they have the manipulator's handbook or something! You are going through the exact same thing as I am. The only thing I can tell you is to not be outright rude and nasty to her, but do feel free to take subtle shots. If you're outright rude to her, she'll start crying her white woman tears and paint YOU as the antisocial type. Write down every egregious incident, with dates and details. If possible, enlist the help of other people who also feel slighted to try and see if they can back up your statements (a lot of people won't want to put themselves out there like that but it's worth a try.
 
Other than that, I don't know what else to tell you because I'm in the same predicament and it's hard. Even the book I'm reading is a little bit pessimistic about the outcomes in this type of situation (The advice I just gave you comes from this book) and they tell you to keep your eyes open for a new job at the same time. I just feel like the universe is trying to tell me something and that if I don't somehow manage to get a handle on this, I'll just move on to another job in the same situation again. I even got called the N-word by one of her manager friends and allies when no one was around, 2 weeks ago. I didn't report that because I knew no one would believe me. I might have made a mistake on that one, I don't know...


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 9:42am
Originally posted by Miss SDY Miss SDY wrote:




My manager is an awesome man but he is not handling this lady like he needs to either. People in my department complain amongst ourselves but no formal.complaint with HR has been filed yet. We know our direct management ain't sh*t but we hate to go over their heads and want to follow the chain of command. But I have decided to just move on because I refuse to spend my days stressed at a place where I spend 8 hours or more at.

I haven't came out on top in this situation yet. I left my last job and they fired my manager 3 weeks after I started my current job.[/QUOTE]
 
Same here. What usually happens is that they are genuinely scared for themselves because of the perceived clout that the manipulator seems to be holding or they are completely bamboozled by the person. My manager has told me in private that she's a difficult person to work with, yet she supports her in public because she somehow thinks that her knowledge of the company is precious and unmatched (sic)


Posted By: sistagal
Date Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 9:44am
Slip some whisky in her coffee & let her get fired for being drunk on the job. Lol iJoke

It is very difficult to deal with a person like that & unfortunately if you retaliate you will be the bad person.. It's really horrible that your manager is scared of her. Is there noone else higher to approach? I'm sure if your manager finds her job threatened because of this woman she'll spring into action. 


Posted By: sbrownie84
Date Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 9:48am
I have had this experience a couple of years ago that I am still bitter about. Unfortunately the maniupulator was the manager who was backed by his manager and even HR. I tried my best to resolve the situation at the location of my job but when I saw that the manager and upper manager was taking me lightly I had to play hardball. Here is what I have learned from the experience.

Put EVERYTHING in writing. No one takes you seriously until you do. 

Start using words like hostile work environment and stating that you feel 'unsafe'.

If you decided to have verbal communications with the employee or other managers on the matter or just in general, have a tape recorder or cell phone recorder on. 

If you can try your best to transfer.....go ahead.

Most importantly, do not let anyone have control over your bread and butter. Rise above and reclaim your control. You do not have to put up with anyone's crap, and if it requires you having to get ugly and putting up a big fight to do so.......do it. 

Best of luck and I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. It will get better trust me. :)


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 9:51am
Originally posted by sistagal sistagal wrote:

Slip some whisky in her coffee & let her get fired for being drunk on the job. Lol iJoke

It is very difficult to deal with a person like that & unfortunately if you retaliate you will be the bad person.. It's really horrible that your manager is scared of her. Is there noone else higher to approach? I'm sure if your manager finds her job threatened because of this woman she'll spring into action. 
 
If I had to slip anything into her coffee, I don't trust myself for it not to be antifreeze, lol.
 
The thing is, at least 2 people in the team have lodged in formal complaints to HR and every single one of my colleagues (included myself) have complained to the manager individually and she has agreed with every single one of us that this woman is a pest. But in public, she'll take her side. And that' s what makes things particularly difficult. As nice as she is, she's incapable of evaluating the quality of work of the people under her, so she assumes that this chick knows what she's doing because she,s been there the longest. An attack against the troublemaker might end up being perceived by her as an attack on her because she's not pulling her weight the way she should. She is so aware of the situation that during my job interview, both her and the HR representatives grilled me on how I react to a "difficult person within the team". That should have been my clue but I didn't realize just how "difficult" this person would turn out to be


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 9:55am
Originally posted by sbrownie84 sbrownie84 wrote:

I have had this experience a couple of years ago that I am still bitter about. Unfortunately the maniupulator was the manager who was backed by his manager and even HR. I tried my best to resolve the situation at the location of my job but when I saw that the manager and upper manager was taking me lightly I had to play hardball. Here is what I have learned from the experience.

Put EVERYTHING in writing. No one takes you seriously until you do. 

Start using words like hostile work environment and stating that you feel 'unsafe'.

If you decided to have verbal communications with the employee or other managers on the matter or just in general, have a tape recorder or cell phone recorder on. 

If you can try your best to transfer.....go ahead.

Most importantly, do not let anyone have control over your bread and butter. Rise above and reclaim your control. You do not have to put up with anyone's crap, and if it requires you having to get ugly and putting up a big fight to do so.......do it. 

Best of luck and I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. It will get better trust me. :)
 
Great suggestions, SBrownie. I need to go get myself a tape recorder. I hadn't thought of that. This is frustrating because this is my career at stake. It's not just a temporary thing to make ends meet.
 
And I have gotten ugly and started putting up a fight, but I don't think I handled it properly. I let my emotions get in the way. I need to learn to be more strategic but it's difficult because this bish is relentless


Posted By: sistagal
Date Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 10:00am
I agree with sbrownie. From now on whenever you put it a complaint record EVERYTHING. 

Even when you speak to her, or if it is at all possible have one of your colleagues that had complained as well as a witness or to record everything. 

& people take bullying very serious so do use the words in your complaint. Even if you have to say it is stressing you out to the point of having to take anti-depressants & with a doctor's note to back it up lol. 

Exaggerate if you have to!! Or they will keep brushing you aside. Then if nothing happens after all of this collect your material together, and approach her again and say you have done everything you could and now you are considering going to someone higher to lodge a complaint. At least she will know that you do not want it to come to that and you are giving her a chance to rectify the situation & any unfair dismissal/suspension of you will be duly noted in your complaint as you have done nothing wrong.  


Posted By: sistagal
Date Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 10:01am
If you get a tape recorder you have to let her know you are recording. 

I don't know if the law is the same there as it is here but anything that is recorded without the other party being aware cannot be used in court as it is a violation of their private life or some bull life that.

If not, then great idea!! lol


Posted By: sistagal
Date Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 10:03am
Also, can you explain is some detail what she does & how you have handled it so far please? 


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 10:09am
Originally posted by sistagal sistagal wrote:

I agree with sbrownie. From now on whenever you put it a complaint record EVERYTHING. 

Even when you speak to her, or if it is at all possible have one of your colleagues that had complained as well as a witness or to record everything. 

& people take bullying very serious so do use the words in your complaint. Even if you have to say it is stressing you out to the point of having to take anti-depressants & with a doctor's note to back it up lol. 

Exaggerate if you have to!! Or they will keep brushing you aside. Then if nothing happens after all of this collect your material together, and approach her again and say you have done everything you could and now you are considering going to someone higher to lodge a complaint. At least she will know that you do not want it to come to that and you are giving her a chance to rectify the situation & any unfair dismissal/suspension of you will be duly noted in your complaint as you have done nothing wrong.  
 
Thanks for the advice. I am planning to see my doctor next week to talk to her about the stress of the harassment, to have some medical backup (and because I need some advice!) I'm leery of using the psychologists provided throught the company plan, their allegiance is usually to their employer. I am a bit leery of lodging a complaint higher up, though. This manager is very well liked (and I can see why, she's a very kind woman in many ways, except she's not handling her business!) But I will get serious on the documenting. This chick knows the handbook by heart because she managed to get rid of an entire team before I even got on board. One of the first things she said to me when I started working there is that there was a girl on contract before me who had a "bad attitude" and kept "slamming drawers and behaving crazy". It's almost like she was warning me of her "clout" and reveling in it. What I need to do is keep my emotions in check and become ultra-strategic


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 10:16am
Originally posted by sistagal sistagal wrote:

Also, can you explain is some detail what she does & how you have handled it so far please? 
 
- I have had numerous conversations with my manager to explain her disruptive influence on myself and the team (to which she replied that I was right and to keep up standing up to her!)
 
-She is oftentimes given the task to review my work and she has negative feedback everytime, even though it is unsubtantiated (she has less experience than me and is not even formally trained in my line of work, yet she evaluates other people!). Problem is, I  cannot counter her claims with my manager because my manager knows nothing about my work, she only makes sure that tasks are assigned and followed through, but she has no way of judging quality control. She pretty much admitted to this herself.
 
- She criticizes everybody else behind their backs too. I called a meeting the other day and my manager set it up with her and another dude who is her only ally in the team. I pretty much exposed all her tactics. The other colleague took her side as I expected him too. And the manager called in the meeting to discuss "my work methods" instead of the actual problem at end (even though in private, she tells me I do a good job)
 
I forgot to mention that the manipulator is at the same level as I am. She is not a higher up in any way. But she is given review tasks that are beyond her


Posted By: sistagal
Date Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 10:33am
Being very well liked is not a reason for you to let her mess with your money... Separate your personal feelings about her from your professional standing in the company & your job. 

It's not right for you to have to deal with that at work because everyone likes her. How would the directors feel about losing profits because your work is being suffocated and therefore you are not making enough of a contribution to the organisation as you ought to be? I am sure if you find the correct person to talk money and value with them when your team is working at 100% productivity in comparison to the stifled current situation they would be very interested. 

So who exactly handles your work if your manager and the other lady do not even have a clue on what you are doing. That person would be the correct person to speak to I'm sure.  


Posted By: afrokock
Date Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 10:44am
what does your bullying and harassment policy say?

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I just can't stand the negro british midget. He brings out the worst in me.....

...
I sometimes think AfroK is gay and either doesn't know it or won't admit to it..


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 10:45am
Originally posted by sistagal sistagal wrote:

Being very well liked is not a reason for you to let her mess with your money... Separate your personal feelings about her from your professional standing in the company & your job.  

You are the second person to tell me that. So I guess I’m gonna have to get over my personal feelings about her. I’m just worried that if I confront the manager directly, I will lose however little support I have with her and antagonize her. But I hear what you’re saying


It's not right for you to have to deal with that at work because everyone likes her. How would the directors feel about losing profits because your work is being suffocated and therefore you are not making enough of a contribution to the organisation as you ought to be? I am sure if you find the correct person to talk money and value with them when your team is working at 100% productivity in comparison to the stifled current situation they would be very interested. 

So who exactly handles your work if your manager and the other lady do not even have a clue on what you are doing. That person would be the correct person to speak to I'm sure.  
 
That's the problem right there! Since the manager is incapable of evaluating my work, she leaves it to that bish to do it because she figures she's been working for the company the longest. Except that she actually keeps introducing mistakes into my work with her reviews! And when I bring it to my boss' attention, she either tries to downplay it or sides with her because she doesn't know didley. I've been doing this for over 11 years and she's been doing this for 4. She even tells another colleague with 20 years of experience that "she'll get better at it eventually, with her counsel"! She comes off as competent when what she needs to go is go back to school and get a degree. But she knows how to present things in a convincing way and she's a master networker
 


Posted By: Organic
Date Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 10:55am
There was a lady like this at my old job. They called her the Wicked Witch of the West. Apparently, lots of people were fired under her, and no one was ever promoted. She would always come to my office and try to make 'small talk', but something about her really turned me off, so I stayed faaaar away. I'm glad I did.

Good luck, JP. A  hostile work environment is no fun. I remember being outside my building having a panic attack at 7am because I didn't want to face my supervisor. This was before I 'grew balls' and learned to stand up for myself and not feel guilty in doing so.

I really hope things work out for you. We spend too much time at work to be miserable.


-------------
Cut from full hip to full waist
Maxi Glide with coconut oil
Pin curls
VOILA!


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 11:14am
Originally posted by Organic Organic wrote:

There was a lady like this at my old job. They called her the Wicked Witch of the West. Apparently, lots of people were fired under her, and no one was ever promoted. She would always come to my office and try to make 'small talk', but something about her really turned me off, so I stayed faaaar away. I'm glad I did.

Good luck, JP. A  hostile work environment is no fun. I remember being outside my building having a panic attack at 7am because I didn't want to face my supervisor. This was before I 'grew balls' and learned to stand up for myself and not feel guilty in doing so.

I really hope things work out for you. We spend too much time at work to be miserable.
 
Thanks for the words of encouragement, Organic. I try to stay the fucc away from her as much as I can and I don't hide my disdain either. Problem is, there are times when I am forced to deal with her when she's put in a position to "critique" my work. I had no problem telling everything I needed to say to her face at the meeting. The problem is I don't quite know how to handle my manager's apathy without getting in her crosshairs


Posted By: Derri
Date Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 11:39am
I've had this situation before, and in theory it did not work out well for me. She abused her 'power' and pretty much got me fired. God don't like ugly though, and it was a great blessing in disguise.


Posted By: Miss SDY
Date Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 11:51am
Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:


Originally posted by Miss SDY Miss SDY wrote:

Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:



Originally posted by Miss SDY Miss SDY wrote:

Yes, I'm not so sure of HR backing but she does have the supervisors tap dancing around her and she has our manager's boss kinda in her corner bc she used to work with him before she transferred to the current region she's at with us..

I don't know what to do about it because I am close to putting in my two weeks notice.

Funny because I was going to make a thread about my situation.

I myself am keeping my eyes open for a new opportunity (no luck so far). But this is the second time in a row that I'm confronted with this and it seens that Human resources was not created to defend the employees but management. And my manager is scared sh*tless of her, as she has somewhat managed to get the previous team fired by mounting a case (don't know how the hell she managed that feat, but she did). Now she deems herself invincible. She insults EVERYBODY in the team on a regular basis and will have you believe that only her work is valid and nobody elses. Complaints have been filed against her by other colleagues to no avail. To complicate things further, the manager is not capable of assessing the quality of the work of those that are under her authority and therefore depends on her to do it! This is mind-bogling to me. I'm reading this book called "The bully at work" and this bish fits the profile to a T!



You just wrote my story almost to a T. This is my second rodeo with a very toxic work environment. I work with this lady on second shift. She starts out as nice. Everyone warned me without warning me about hoe this lady is. Gradually, as I became familiar with the procedures, she started doing less and less and I start doing more and more work. It is to the point to where she is not pulling any weight at all and she makes up fake reasons as to why she can't do this and that. She thinks she's perfect and she has more mistakes than our whole department put together.

I started noticing how fake she is. She grins and kee-kee's in everyone's face and then talks so much sh*t behind their backs. Our direct supervisor let's her do these things because he says she knows a lot about our department. Plus she's cool with our region manager. Once I started noticing these things, and discussing them, my co-workers begin to talk more about her and they wanted me to see for myself vs telling me when I was relatively new. 4 people that worked my same shift with her have quit because of not getting along with this woman and that this woman is lazy. This lady had also went to HR on a few people. But its really hard to get fired from our company so..

But I have not been looking hard for a job just yet because of the holidays but I am about to get to searching hard soon. I'm to the point where I'm boiling over and I've been kind of rude and nasty to her. It's not full fledged like it can be but she knows I hate her now. She's been talking cash money sh*t about me to other co-workers and its out of control now. This woman is 55 years old. She can't take what she dishes out and is known to cry when people go left on her and get in her ass.
 
Jeezus, they all use the EXACT SAME STRATEGIES! It's like they have the manipulator's handbook or something! You are going through the exact same thing as I am. The only thing I can tell you is to not be outright rude and nasty to her, but do feel free to take subtle shots. If you're outright rude to her, she'll start crying her white woman tears and paint YOU as the antisocial type. Write down every egregious incident, with dates and details. If possible, enlist the help of other people who also feel slighted to try and see if they can back up your statements (a lot of people won't want to put themselves out there like that but it's worth a try.
 
Other than that, I don't know what else to tell you because I'm in the same predicament and it's hard. Even the book I'm reading is a little bit pessimistic about the outcomes in this type of situation (The advice I just gave you comes from this book) and they tell you to keep your eyes open for a new job at the same time. I just feel like the universe is trying to tell me something and that if I don't somehow manage to get a handle on this, I'll just move on to another job in the same situation again. I even got called the N-word by one of her manager friends and allies when no one was around, 2 weeks ago. I didn't report that because I knew no one would believe me. I might have made a mistake on that one, I don't know...


I think you should have reported her because that is beyond crossing the line. That's disrespectful.

As for the bolded 'white woman tears', this lady I'm dealing with is black. She says her dad is a French Indian though.. but whatever. I've been told that she hates black people and discouraged her children from procreating with black men... I have two co-workers that will go to bat for me because they loathe this woman more than I do.. Im already 'antisocial' according to her bc I never talk to her and whenever she does say something to me, I look at her like she has two heads or something.. She asks everyone if I ever talk with them...

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http://daisypath.com" rel="nofollow">

NL----[SL]----APL----BSB----BSL

Closing in on APL!!!



Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 12:02pm
^^^ Yes, it was certainly beyond disrespectful.  The woman that spit the N-Word at me is a manager from another department who works on my floor and happens to be close to my coworker. She said it when no one was around, not witnesses. Took me completely off guard, too. I was just walking down the hallway and she just tells me "Good morning, N..." out of the blue. Don't even have anything to do with her for her to even accost me like that at all. I felt that had I gone to HR, no one would have believed me because I'm new in the place, she's the manager of the actuarial department and she has a fairly ethnically diverse team working under her. It would have looked like I have problems with everyone in there and I still have to find a way to deal effectively with my own work situation all the while looking credible. So I just decided to focus on what would harm me the most...
 
As far as your situation goes, it's good that your coworkers hate her even more and are willing to vouch for you. You guys can come up with a concerted plan to push her out. Bullies often crumble when faced with a collective onslaught


Posted By: eanaj5
Date Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 12:33pm
What did you say after she said that? Confused

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Posted By: sistagal
Date Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 1:24pm
Do not...I repeat...DO NOT give that woman attitude. Use reverse psychology if you have to. What you want to do is to bid your time until you get a new job OR until you get to a status where people start taking your word over hers. But the later would take a LOT more time and patience. 

So be nice to her even if it makes your insides ache. Be nice to everyone & get as many people to think the world of you. If you are in a mood because of her all the time people are most likely to say to her "Yeahhh I see what you mean.. She's rude" & etc. 

So you get on with your work & during this time make sure you have studying your contract & employee handbook & DO NOT step out of line & every time she does make a note of it. Build rapport with your colleagues, even if it means writing down birthdays & etc lol. & it will give you places to escape to at work when she's being a right cow. 


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Nov 25 2012 at 4:32pm
Originally posted by sistagal sistagal wrote:

Do not...I repeat...DO NOT give that woman attitude. Use reverse psychology if you have to. What you want to do is to bid your time until you get a new job OR until you get to a status where people start taking your word over hers. But the later would take a LOT more time and patience. 

So be nice to her even if it makes your insides ache. Be nice to everyone & get as many people to think the world of you. If you are in a mood because of her all the time people are most likely to say to her "Yeahhh I see what you mean.. She's rude" & etc. 

So you get on with your work & during this time make sure you have studying your contract & employee handbook & DO NOT step out of line & every time she does make a note of it. Build rapport with your colleagues, even if it means writing down birthdays & etc lol. & it will give you places to escape to at work when she's being a right cow. 
 
Yeah, that's not gonna happen. I'm the "get in to do my job, get out" type of gal. I have a hard time faking it. I'm polite, though


Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Dec 08 2012 at 12:03pm
I gotta admit that my self-esteem is taking a hit with this. I know it's not my fault but I'm not sleeping well, I'm so anxious that I twisting my hands and feet in my sleep to the point that it hurts, I just don't know what to do. Looking for openings in my field but there's not much out there at present time. I'm SOOOOO tired of having to start all over again wherever I go. I think issues from my last workplace carried through this workplace and are messing with my reputation, on top of this bully I have to contend with. I feel so low and I could use some words of encouragement, if you have any


Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: Dec 08 2012 at 1:18pm
Did I really just read that some cave bitch called you a racial slur as a greeting??

Of all the harassment you receive, the racial incidents are the ones definitely not to be ignored because they are the strongest. Clearly, you and your co-workers need outside help. I don't care how talented and knowledgeable a person is, that does not grant them the right to abuse fellow employees or manipulate to get them fired.

Personally, I'd recommend building a case against these people, not only in writing, but in voice clips and witnesses. Since your management and HR team won't do a think, get all the documentation showing this. Go see an attorney and see if you have a legit case. I wouldn't recommend this as a first option though, save it for last. LOL

All the bullshit they put you through? Attempt to profit off it out of their time and money. You don't even have to do a lawsuit, anything that will get them and especially that lady serious disciplinary action is clearly needed.

I'm just amazed they can take it to the point of calling you racial slurs and everything runs normally like clockwork.

Seek the help of the ACLU. You have the right to earn your money in peace. http://www.aclu.org/" rel="nofollow - http://www.aclu.org/


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Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Dec 08 2012 at 1:29pm
Originally posted by Midna Midna wrote:

Did I really just read that some cave bitch called you a racial slur as a greeting??
Yup, that happened. It came as a total shock. I was walking down the hallway, minding my own business and this butch dyke (of all people) spews this hatred at me out of nowhere. The biggest mistake I made was not going to HR with it because I thought I would not be believed ( no witnesses, she's a manager with an ethnically diverse team under her, etc (not my manager). I regret it deeply but it's been at least two weeks and it's kinda late now for HR


Of all the harassment you receive, the racial incidents are the ones definitely not to be ignored because they are the strongest. Clearly, you and your co-workers need outside help. I don't care how talented and knowledgeable a person is, that does not grant them the right to abuse fellow employees or manipulate to get them fired.

Personally, I'd recommend building a case against these people, not only in writing, but in voice clips and witnesses. Since your management and HR team won't do a think, get all the documentation showing this. Go see an attorney and see if you have a legit case.
I've been writing things down (haven't bought the recorder yet). As for witnesses, I can forget it. These white bitches will NOT stick up for me when shyt gets hot. I'm on my own.

All the bullshit they put you through? Attempt to profit off it out of their time and money. You don't even have to do a lawsuit, anything that will get them and especially that lady serious disciplinary action is clearly needed.
The bully is being protected by my incompetent boss. I requested a sit down with her and my boss and it wasn't very conducive. I confronted her straight on and it seems to be blowing up in my face, even though other team members have expressed the same problems with her. I don't know if she's fuccin somebody high up or something, but she seems untouchable. And my boss relies on her to evaluate other people's work within the team when she can barely translate herself. Hell, what kind of translator needs to take english classes?Shouldn't she have a mastery of the language BEFOREHAND? The situation is all kinds of fucced up

I'm just amazed they can take it to the point of calling you racial slurs and everything runs normally like clockwork.
It's Canada. Not nearly as advanced as the US with dealing with this type of crap at work


Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: Dec 08 2012 at 1:35pm
Oh Christ, you're in Canada..

Are you willing to contact a Human Rights Commission?

Quote For information or to make a complaint, contact your
local human rights commission

Alberta: Alberta Human Rights and Citizenship
Commission
Edmonton phone: (780) 427-7661
Calgary phone: (403) 297-6571
Toll free: 310-0000 (in Alberta)
Internet: http://www.albertahumanrights.ab.ca

British Columbia: British Columbia Human
Rights Tribunal
Vancouver: (604) 775-2000
Toll free: 1-888-440-8844
Internet: http://www.bchrt.bc.ca
Manitoba: Manitoba Human Rights
Commission

Winnipeg phone: (204) 945-3007
Toll free: 1-888-884-8681

Brandon phone: (204) 726-6261
Toll free: 1-800-201-2551

The Pas phone: (204) 627-8270
Toll free: 1-800-676-7084
Internet: http://www.gov.mb.ca/hrc/

New Brunswick: New Brunswick Human Rights
Commission
Phone: (506) 453-2301
Internet: http://www.gov.nb.ca/hrc-cdp/

Newfoundland and Labrador:
Newfoundland Human Rights Commission
Phone: (709) 729-2709
Toll free: 1-800-563-5808
Internet: http://www.gov.nf.ca/hrc/

Nova Scotia: Nova Scotia Human Rights
Commission
Halifax phone: (902) 424-4111
Toll free: 1-877-269-7699
Internet: http://www.gov.ns.ca/humanrights

Ontario: Ontario Human Rights Commission
Toronto phone: (416) 326-9511
Toll free: 1-800-387-9080
Internet: http://www.ohrc.on.ca

Prince Edward Island: Prince Edward Island
Human Rights Commission
Phone: (902) 368-4180
Toll free: 1-800-237-5031
Internet: http://www.gov.pe.ca/humanrights

Quebec: La Commission des droits de la
personne et des droits de la jeunesse
Montréal phone: (514) 873-5146
Toll free: 1-800-361-6477

Québec phone: (418) 643-4826
Toll free: 1-800-463-5621
Internet: http://www.cdpdj.qc.ca

Saskatchewan: Saskatchewan Human Rights
Commission
Regina phone: (306) 787-2530
Toll free: 1-800-667-8577

Saskatoon phone: (306) 933-5952
Toll free: 1-800-667-9249
Internet: http://www.gov.sk.ca/shrc

Yukon: Yukon Human Rights Commission
Phone: (867) 667-6226
Toll free: 1-800-661-0535
Internet: http://www.yhrc.yk.ca

Federal Sector: Canadian Human Rights
Commission
Toll free: 1-888-214-1090
Internet: http://www.chrc-ccdp.ca


You gotta do whatever you can. Your blackness does not deny your humanity.


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Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Dec 08 2012 at 2:00pm
Originally posted by Midna Midna wrote:

Oh Christ, you're in Canada..



Quebec: La Commission des droits de la
personne et des droits de la jeunesse
Montréal phone: (514) 873-5146
Toll free: 1-800-361-6477

Québec phone: (418) 643-4826
Toll free: 1-800-463-5621
Internet: http://www.cdpdj.qc.ca

You gotta do whatever you can. Your blackness does not deny your humanity.
 
Thanks for taking the time to google this list.  I appreciate it. The entities you listed are not the ones to go to in a situation like this. My only recourse is "La Commission des normes du travail" and that's AFTER I get fired and I must refuse to sign any severance package. I did find the name of an attorney specializing in work place issues, if it comes to that, though. But my problem is that my coworkers will not vouch for me, even though they are going through shyt themselves with the bully. I can write and document, but I don't know how far it will go. I will fight as much as I can, though. It's just that I'm kinda exhausted and depressed at this point


Posted By: Midna
Date Posted: Dec 08 2012 at 2:23pm
Then you get all the documentation you can that nullifies the need for a witness! You don't have to get video, but a voice recording sure can go a long way.

Any emails from them that are offensive, you keep. Any voicemails, you keep. And keep extra copies at home or in a private email account.

I would not put it above these people to go through your things and delete what can be used against them.

I know you're tired and depressed.. but this is your ass on the line. These people have taken away your right to a peaceful 9 to 5 out of their own personal biases and spite. No one deserves that.


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Posted By: JoliePoufiasse
Date Posted: Dec 08 2012 at 2:28pm
Originally posted by Midna Midna wrote:

Then you get all the documentation you can that nullifies the need for a witness! You don't have to get video, but a voice recording sure can go a long way.

Any emails from them that are offensive, you keep. Any voicemails, you keep. And keep extra copies at home or in a private email account.

I would not put it above these people to go through your things and delete what can be used against them.

I know you're tired and depressed.. but this is your ass on the line. These people have taken away your right to a peaceful 9 to 5 out of their own personal biases and spite. No one deserves that.
 
Thanks for the support. I think that voice recordings might be the most effective tool I have. These people are not stupid enough to put their nastiness in writing or in voicemail. When they do put things in writing, it's to make me look bad all the while shielding their own asses. Right now, I'm keeping an incident log but I need to go out and get me a tape recorder pronto



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