Print Page | Close Window

I think its time they stop taking baths together

Printed From: Black Hair Media Forum
Category: The Archives
Forum Name: Talk Archives
Forum Description: Archive Section
URL: http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=188990
Printed Date: Mar 20 2019 at 11:11pm


Topic: I think its time they stop taking baths together
Posted By: hennypenny
Subject: I think its time they stop taking baths together
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 12:52am
MOMMY WHAT'S A VAGINA?


| Our 6-year-old son, William, and 3-year-old daughter, Jessie, have been taking baths together ever since she graduated from her daily dip in the kitchen sink. About a year ago, in a stunt deemed normal by most parenting manuals, she up and reached for her brother's member, which had been floating beneath the surface of the water like a mystery to be unraveled.

And then she did it again. And again.

These frequent incursions would send William into a tizzy of giggling, squirming and (he'll kill me one day for writing this) positioning himself so she would do it again. Coming off the tail end of the evening witching hour, I would be sitting on the floor at the threshold of the bathroom -- one ear aimed to the room across the hall where "Hardball" blared from the TV, the other in the direction of my kids -- when I'd note a peculiar tone to their laughter. It would sound higher pitched and more joyful than normal.

What's going on?" I'd yell, summoning my inner Archie Bunker, knowing full well what was going on.

"Jessie's grabbing my penis!" William would yell back, snort-laughing as water splashed around the tub.

So long, Chris Matthews.

I'd rush to the tub and tell Jessie she shouldn't touch William's privates because they were, well, his privates. Soon, I'd find myself so awash in vague euphemisms and instructions that I'd just stare at them dumbly, then tell them it was time to get out.

But knowing William didn't really mind his sister's incursions, I had to come up with a reason for him to stop making himself so readily accessible. I crafted the half-baked explanation that he should discourage her from touching him,or she might start grabbing the penises of all the boys in her preschool class and then she wouldn't have any friends. (I made a mental note to use the same argument in a different context years hence.)

That seemed to sober him up, and over time, her interest in his penis ebbed, eventually dying down altogether. At least I thought so.

The other night, we were in the playroom, cleaning up toys before bed, when Jessie looked down at herself and said, apropos of nothing, "I wish I had a penis."


My heart stopped beating, I dropped the handful of Legos I'd just scooped up and Sigmund Freud, complete with pipe and pocket watch, crashed through our ceiling to land on the couch, where he sat staring at us with a raised eyebrow. Thoughts of Jessie's feelings of inadequacy, of penis envy, of adolescent confusion and despair flooded my mind in a tangle of maternal angst and worry. What can I say to this child to fend it all off, at least for a day?

I took a deep breath and said, in my most upbeat mom voice, "Well, you don't have one of those, but you do have something verrry special."

I could feel William freeze in rapt attention behind me. Whatever could I be talking about?

Jessie looked at me quizzically and said, "I do? Where?"

"There," I said, nodding to her nether region.

Her eyes widened.

"What is it?" she asked, with the kind of anticipation one usually reserves for the opening of a much-touted gift.

I must pause here to say that, although I grew up post-sexual revolution, my parents were unmistakably pre-sexual revolution. The closest anyone in our house ever came to anatomical correctness was to utter the words "tonsils" or "appendix." Even now, at 40, such language doesn't roll easily off the tongue. I inherited from my mother, as she did from hers, a decided reluctance to name names. I can't even remember when or how I learned the proper terms for the parts of my body. All of which leaves me in a bit of a pickle when it comes to teaching my own kids about their bodies. With no clear role models to summon from my past, I long ago realized I'd have to wing it.

I just didn't know I'd be winging it so soon, with my toddler, on the playroom floor. But what could I do? I stiffened my spine, looked Jessie in the eye, and said, "You, Jessie Joan, have a vagina."

At that she smiled wide and proud, as if shocked by her good fortune, though I don't think she had any idea what I was talking about. But it didn't seem to matter.

The next moment, Jessie walked over to William, put her hands on her hips and, swaying back and forth, sang to the tune of nana-nana-boo-boo: "I have a vagina! I have a vagina!"

I'd done it! I'd had my first sex talk with my daughter and hadn't flubbed it. She was buoyant as ever in her body. She could name her private parts without shame or hesitation. And her strong sense of self had remained intact. I knew that as mother and daughter we had many more miles to travel, and some would be rocky. But at least we were off to a good start.

Later that night, William taunted her by saying, "Jessie, do you know where your vagina is?" But she didn't take the bait. With a blasť air I've spent my whole life longing for, she patted her hoo ha and said, "Yes, I do. My bajina is right here."




Replies:
Posted By: blackbarbie83
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 12:57am
forgive me father, My first thought was, "weird ass white people"
 
my hubby said the same.Stern%20Smile


Posted By: ms.daniD
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 1:01am
Smh.


Posted By: Sheryse
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 1:02am
Stern%20Smile


Posted By: Mollymoo
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 1:06am
lol


Posted By: natural girl
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 1:09am
wth?


Posted By: MsAngie
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 1:29am
Confused


Posted By: BlackstarBlue
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 1:32am
why even write about this?



Posted By: niki_p
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 1:36am
lol, its cute.


Posted By: Love2BLoved
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 1:53am
lol kids are so precious 


Posted By: SeXxiLuV818
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 1:53am
Originally posted by blackbarbie83 blackbarbie83 wrote:

forgive me father, My first thought was, "weird ass white people"
 
my hubby said the same.Stern%20Smile
 
LOLLOLLOL


Posted By: ccluvsau
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 1:56am


Posted By: TayTay
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 1:57am
Who gon read all of that? LOL


Posted By: SeXxiLuV818
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 1:58am
Originally posted by TayTay TayTay wrote:

Who gon read all of that? LOL
 
LOL
I did....Im at work boredSleepy


Posted By: trini_gyal87
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 2:34am
uuuhhhh, CC can i borrow the man in your avi?? Stern%20Smile


Posted By: ElectricLady
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 3:03am
Ahaha! This is actually pretty cute! It sounds weird if you don't read all of it or skim through it. Read it thoroughly, ladies. :D This is adorably funny. They're kids, after all.

Shoot, I remember when I was 4, I showed my best friend my vagina because I was SO PROUD! LOL My mom taught me not to do that anymore by beating my ass red with a cane! No explanation why, either!


Posted By: Dawn317
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 5:14am
Not the way I wouldve handled it but its a cute story


Posted By: dynamite23
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 6:41am
Stern%20Smile


Posted By: Tangie
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 7:08am
As soon as the little girl started grabbing his penis and he started positioning himself for it to happen, the shared baths should've stopped. The kids were just being kids, they saw nothing wrong with it but they silly ass mama know better. 


Posted By: onechase
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 7:13am
riiiight Stern%20Smile


Posted By: Nigerian queen
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 7:18am
i thought it was a cute story lol!


Posted By: babibludevil03
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 7:25am
her bajina....lmbo!


Posted By: MsMahoganyRed
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 7:27am
Originally posted by Tangie Tangie wrote:

As soon as the little girl started grabbing his penis and he started positioning himself for it to happen, the shared baths should've stopped. The kids were just being kids, they saw nothing wrong with it but they silly ass mama know better. 
 
I so agree!!  All innocent with the kids but the mother was fully aware - especially if she can say she knew what they were doing without being present...


Posted By: morning_glory
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 7:27am
I thought it was cute too...


But it made me realise that I should never have kids Stern%20Smile


Posted By: PrinceszTori
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 7:32am
Originally posted by Tangie Tangie wrote:

As soon as the little girl started grabbing his penis and he started positioning himself for it to happen, the shared baths should've stopped. The kids were just being kids, they saw nothing wrong with it but they silly ass mama know better. 
ITA
 
its a cute story but it couldnt be me
 


Posted By: divalane25
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 7:57am
that is such a cute story, kids are a trip


Posted By: VirgoFlirtVixen
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 8:22am
ummmm why are a 6 year old and 3 year old taking a bath unattended and ia with those who said the shared baths should've stopped when she started grabbing his penis


Posted By: hennypenny
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 9:39am
Originally posted by Tangie Tangie wrote:

As soon as the little girl started grabbing his penis and he started positioning himself for it to happen, the shared baths should've stopped. The kids were just being kids, they saw nothing wrong with it but they silly ass mama know better. 


Exactly!!
The article is focused on her teaching her daughter the proper names for her vagina, but she has a much bigger problem that she's failing to address.


Posted By: kalenjin
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 10:54am
The writing is very cute but that mother gets the side-eye for not stopping those baths when the touching started.


Posted By: ctownqueen
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 10:56am
Originally posted by onechase onechase wrote:

riiiight Stern%20Smile

LOL


Posted By: jacy_babi
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 10:59am
weird.


Posted By: jacy_babi
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 11:02am
weird.


Posted By: LadyCC
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 11:19am
Okay...I can see 3 and 6 yrs old same sex baths - but this is more than I could have handled.  If he needs company he can bring Thor and his Transformers along.  They can battle the bubbles. Stern%20Smile


Posted By: Yardgirl
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 11:20am
Originally posted by ccluvsau ccluvsau wrote:



Yeah basically.


Posted By: Ms.Sham
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 12:20pm


Sorry, but this is all sorts of creepy. The fact that he positioned himself to be touched...it could eventually lead to other things between the two of them. Children do experiment.

Again.




Posted By: WorkInProgress
Date Posted: May 05 2009 at 12:31pm
Cute. Nakedness does not equal sex. They are young, learning and curious she did not know what she was doing. This is also an opportunity to talk about appropriate and inappropriate  touches



Print Page | Close Window