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People who love too hard

 
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nekamarie83 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nekamarie83 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 06 2014 at 5:59pm
Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:

Going back to my cousin, I guess I'm gathering from the feedback that there isn't much more I can do, other than letting her know that I'm available if she needs anything :( I just feel a little helpless here.
I wish I could force her to seek help. But she's old school and it's not the type of thing she believes in. She thinks it's for white people.
pretty much. sometimes letting people vent/talk it out and know you're there is the most you can do. she's gonna make moves in her own time. 
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JoliePoufiasse View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote JoliePoufiasse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 06 2014 at 6:00pm
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:


I was referring to attachment theory

you are either secure or insecurely attached

insecure attachment styles are either preoccupied, dismissive avoidant or fearful avoidant

preoccupied people have a negative view of self and a positive view of others

it drives them to be clingy and it's possible they "love hard"

depends on how you are defining "love hard"


I see. You look at it from a clinical psychology standpoint.

I think it's possible to be insecurely attached in a fearful avoidant kind of way without having a negative view of yourself though. Early life experiences tend to mold how you react to people. There's a saying in French that a cat that has been dipped in boiled water comes to fear the coldest of streams...
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JoliePoufiasse View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JoliePoufiasse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 06 2014 at 6:02pm
Originally posted by nekamarie83 nekamarie83 wrote:

Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:

Going back to my cousin, I guess I'm gathering from the feedback that there isn't much more I can do, other than letting her know that I'm available if she needs anything :( I just feel a little helpless here.
I wish I could force her to seek help. But she's old school and it's not the type of thing she believes in. She thinks it's for white people.
pretty much. sometimes letting people vent/talk it out and know you're there is the most you can do. she's gonna make moves in her own time. 


I guess you're right. Trouble is she ain't venting or talking it out at all. She's just stuck in a deep depression, which is worrisome (not to mention the possibility for self harm). But yes, I suppose she will make moves in her own time and there is nothing I can do to rush this process along.
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SoutherNtellect View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote SoutherNtellect Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 06 2014 at 6:36pm
i overcompensate, if that's insecure
i try to give what i didnt get
or what i did get and felt others should have had

(didnt read whole thread so i may be off)


Edited by SoutherNtellect - Jul 06 2014 at 6:38pm
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