It sounds like to me that you have been biting your tongue because you don't want to lose your only "friend." That is the only reason I could think of that you have put up with this.
It may not phase you, but you should act like it because your man may feel like you don't care..and could have been putting up with it because he liked the attention, even though he acted as if he wasn't phased by it..he got a mean poker face
Yea, about making folks plates but not for everyone speaks volumes. However, she taught you how to cook so that should be done.
As for her man flirting with you...maybe she knows her man flirts with you and brings his "friends" over to your house and you say NOTHING to her about it..or at least I assume you haven't since you like to avoid uncomfortable situations. She may be doing it to your man as a way to make you feel how she feels and she doesn't know how to confront you about it as to not ruin the friendship. So go 'head and have that talk wit her..you might be surprised what she has to say.