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Nubia25 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Nubia25 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 02 2013 at 5:14am
Originally posted by Tbaby Tbaby wrote:

Out 4-5 nites a week til early morning?  He's not with his guy friends I suspect.  And you shouldn't have to get a sitter for the kids you both share...that's ridiculous.

There's some major red flags here in this relationship. repeat: major.  The double standards, the disrespect of being out all nite, the strong possibility that he's sleeping around. 

Either put your foot down and make some drastic changes or leave.  Otherwise you really sound like you are stuck in a rut with 2 kids stuck with you.  That possibility is truly miserable.



Yeah, that's how I feel. I guess I have had these thoughts for some time now but I just needed someone else to say it so I could believe it. Sounds crazy, I know....
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Nubia25 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Nubia25 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 02 2013 at 5:15am
Originally posted by TOUSHA11 TOUSHA11 wrote:

It is up to you what you choice to do but do not keep complaining but keep staying. I would not be with him he rather be with his friends then spend time with you. It is unacceptable that he cannot watch your child while you go out for a little a bit but he is going 4 to 5 times a week. In my world unless you dead or out of town you should not be staying out all night long let alone until 4 or 5 a.m. in the morning that's crazy that is disrespectful to you and your children.


Yeah, I know it's time to leave. It has been time for me to leave for some time now. I just have a hard time doing it. I am praying for the strength.
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Nubia25 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Nubia25 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 02 2013 at 5:16am
Originally posted by morenaloca morenaloca wrote:

What is he doing out until 8am with his friends? Something's not right. You aren't being controlling at all. Leave


My question too. He says likes to play pool and hang out with them.
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Nubia25 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Nubia25 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 02 2013 at 5:20am
Originally posted by Spokenword Spokenword wrote:

ummm.

you been together for 11 years? and still same issues? are you married or still boyfriend/girlfriend?

then having a second child when you were having these issues?

please evaluate the whole situation.

good luck!



I know. Some of it is my fault for putting up with it for so long. We are not married and although we have talked about marriage I know in my heart it would be a bad choice.

I was planning to leave and then I found out I was pregnant again about a month ago. Finding out I was pregnant took a lot of the strength that I had to just leave. Although I technically am alone in this relationship in a lot of ways I am afraid of leaving him. I am praying for the strength.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 02 2013 at 11:39am
I think you are indeed alone in this relationship. Confused 
Sorry but .. how to you figure this relationship will improve? Noooo once you let someone treat you bad for years and years .. why would he change? What would be his INCENTIVE to change if knows that you will TAKE whatever crumbs he throws your way?
 
None. Things can only get worse. He has no incentive to change and he probably knows you enough to know that you are AFRAID to leave him. Confused See? Now why would he change? Nooo in a few years you will be writing on this forum saying you are carrying his fifth child ... and don't know what to do.
 
 
If he is out like that (sorry to say) but I would say he is spending time with other women as well so that means it's possible he is bringing home diseases to you.
 
I do not believe in living with a guy before marriage anyway .. but in this case it works to your advantage.
 
Whenever I have found myself even dating a dog like that .. I WAS SO GLAD WHEN I dumped him and got him out my life!
 
IMO, you should stop talking to that ratfink and start making plans. DO NOT TELL HIM ... because he really sounds controlling and when men like that think you are leaving .. they FLIP OUT.
 
No, keep your mouth shut and while he is off doing what he wants to do .. start putting your plan in action. If you don't have any money - see Social Services or family etc . Anything help you get away.
 
After you get away .. avoid him. He sounds like he might haul off and ...
 
I don't believe in prayer im these kinds of situations. Prayer is good for .. say a loved one is in the hospital having surgery, or you hear the ski lodge your sister is staying in .. just got hit by an snow storm and they are cut off from emergency vehicles. Things like this when the outcome cannot be controlled and it truely is in God'ds hands.
 
But praying over A DOG for a man? No. Prayer will not do a thing to help this kind of situation because you CAN do something about a bad situation. God gives everyone common sense - it's up to you to use it though.
 
LEAVE NOW while you still have your self-esteem intact and you are young enough to start over again.
Good Luck!


Edited by Printer_Ink - Jul 02 2013 at 11:59am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 02 2013 at 4:26pm
Originally posted by Morris Chestnuts Morris Chestnuts wrote:

Hmmm 11 years together, no ring but you cool with having another kid? Marriage isn't something u want I assume? Cause if u bounce, the dating game is gonna be harsh for u. Get ready to be seen as just a jump off and being single for a long time.


so what? is it better for her to settle the rest of her life with a man who is clearly with another woman?!

@Nubia, it is obvious that he is seeing someone else. That's why he wants a babysitter when you are out: so he can go out. Pack his sh!t, leave a nice note and say that you are going to court to demand child support for your children.

You don't need this and honestly, you should focus on yourself before heading into another relationship. You will be too needy and clingy on the next guy and it won't be good. Take some time for yourself before you look for a new relationship.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 02 2013 at 4:33pm
Originally posted by Printer_Ink Printer_Ink wrote:


I don't believe in prayer im these kinds of situations. Prayer is good for .. say a loved one is in the hospital having surgery, or you hear the ski lodge your sister is staying in .. just got hit by an snow storm and they are cut off from emergency vehicles. Things like this when the outcome cannot be controlled and it truely is in God'ds hands.
 
But praying over A DOG for a man? No. Prayer will not do a thing to help this kind of situation because you CAN do something about a bad situation. God gives everyone common sense - it's up to you to use it though.
 


Clapbravo! well written, Printer_Ink!

Nubia, if praying would work, we would all be praying the whole day for things instead of getting it ourselves.
God already gave you the tools, you need to use them. He gave you brains, health and the strength but you are blind. You don't need this man. You mentioned that there's more but didn't specify.... regardless of that, start making a plan.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote GLAMAFROMNY Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 19 2013 at 5:25pm
Does he work, how is he able to go out 4/5 nights a week and come home late and work??? It's never too late for a new start, nothing worse than being and feeling alone while in a relationship. You are definitely not being unreasonable!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 19 2013 at 5:52pm
what's up with those girls asking for advice but cannot come back and tell us what they decide?

i hate this. please update us Nubia! what did you do?!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote foxyroy19 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 20 2013 at 6:11am
he has another woman...simple.
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