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Oprah & Iyanala Tackle Colorism (tonight 1/10)

 
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joileprincess View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote joileprincess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 12 2014 at 2:12am
Originally posted by PurplePhase PurplePhase wrote:

Iyl was right when she said it's not about light but lighter than.

I agree with this. I can't tell you how many times I have been a part of a conversation where someone is being described and they'll say something like "Karen is light, lighter than you, and ...." like I'm in some type of competition or something. It'll have absolutely nothing to do with the conversation. On the occasion that I have asked why they felt the need to point it out they shrugged or stumbled over their explanation. Or if I go shopping for makeup and the artist insists on matching me to a shade 2-3 shades darker (say, giving me a NC 45 when I'm NC 40).  When I say something I get the "I don't think you're that light." Its funny because neither do I as far as LS/DS but I want makeup that matches.  Some people are hell bent on making their complex someone else's.


Edited by joileprincess - Jan 12 2014 at 7:21am
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alynxx View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote alynxx Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 12 2014 at 7:05am
I agree with Tika that it starts from the home. A shame.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote liesnalibis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 12 2014 at 7:17am
Originally posted by keepgrowing keepgrowing wrote:

Originally posted by Princess Grace Princess Grace wrote:

It will forever be a issue cause we make it a issue, other races only see us as black. When you fill out paperwork there is no light /dark box. I have plenty of family members who have this problem. I died a slow painful death when my cousin said " I cant believe he broke up with me, im light skinned" I knew them heffas was good and crazy. Her mother sat there co-signing the mess.

So yeah that type of thinking begins at home.


WOW same sh*t happened to me but it was a friend that I used to be close with. She is light and she was having a moment. She was dating a guy on and off who couldn't commit to her. But she said she couldn't understand why because his long time ex girlfriend was dark. I'm like what does that have to do it?

She then went on to say that she doesn't understand why he broke up with her since she is light and how two light skinned people should be together and blah blah. She lost her mind and she kept repeating "i'm light skinned I'm light skinned I don't understand why he doesn't want me".

I had a friend like this too. Her bf broke up with her supposedly because she was extremely jealous and now he's with a dark skinned girl and got her pregnant. She tried to say it in a nice way but was like "She dark and she big....No not like that but you know you'll think he'll be wit somebody like me, you know red, blah blah blah, etc etc etc"

This is the same chick who told me, "No, but you alright to be dark!" Her mother was right there and told her to shut up. I told my mom about it and she said her mom is probably the one who taught her to think like that because she must have got it from somewhere.
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liesnalibis View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote liesnalibis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 12 2014 at 7:19am
^^^And it was a very dark skinned boy. What kills me is how dark skinned men are okay but dark skinned women are the bane of the earth.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote newdiva1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 12 2014 at 7:50am
Originally posted by keepgrowing keepgrowing wrote:

Colorism is a serious issue, but people just shovel it under the rug like it doesn't matter. And this issue is not unique to the black community, which is why it is such a huge problem.
 
 
 
I sometimes wonder do other communities speak on it within their own race like we do.  Do Hindi/hispanic folks have these discussions...like whole history of colonialism and why they think white is right.  And when they do know...do they just succumb or "fight the power"?   The trini folks that I know...when the subject comes up they'll acknowledge some things but don't get real deep about what went down when India was colonized.  Like they don't want to talk bad about massa cause they have white friends.  
 
 
*shrugs*  Iono...I suppose some do.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Princess Grace Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 12 2014 at 8:42am
Originally posted by newdiva1 newdiva1 wrote:

Originally posted by keepgrowing keepgrowing wrote:

Colorism is a serious issue, but people just shovel it under the rug like it doesn't matter. And this issue is not unique to the black community, which is why it is such a huge problem.
 
 
 
I sometimes wonder do other communities speak on it within their own race like we do.  Do Hindi/hispanic folks have these discussions...like whole history of colonialism and why they think white is right.  And when they do know...do they just succumb or "fight the power"?   The trini folks that I know...when the subject comes up they'll acknowledge some things but don't get real deep about what went down when India was colonized.  Like they don't want to talk bad about massa cause they have white friends.  
 
 
*shrugs*  Iono...I suppose some do.

I have Italian friends and they seem more concerned about marriage before a certain age or people think something is wrong with you, then its his ancestry. Is he 100% Italian, his finances, but even being a dark Italian will raise brows in certain families. They will only really give a pass if you old and need to get married other than that they view it as marrying down and they will flatout say it. 

Same way with my Chaldean friends, Candace is really light and has sandy brown hair but it is kinky (she straightens it secretly). She would not date this guy because his hair was wiry.

The thing is I dont think any other race would air it on tv or have these discussions  in the open about it . They seem to keep their issues within their community.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote keepgrowing Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 12 2014 at 8:51am
Originally posted by liesnalibis liesnalibis wrote:

Originally posted by keepgrowing keepgrowing wrote:

Originally posted by Princess Grace Princess Grace wrote:

It will forever be a issue cause we make it a issue, other races only see us as black. When you fill out paperwork there is no light /dark box. I have plenty of family members who have this problem. I died a slow painful death when my cousin said " I cant believe he broke up with me, im light skinned" I knew them heffas was good and crazy. Her mother sat there co-signing the mess.

So yeah that type of thinking begins at home.


WOW same sh*t happened to me but it was a friend that I used to be close with. She is light and she was having a moment. She was dating a guy on and off who couldn't commit to her. But she said she couldn't understand why because his long time ex girlfriend was dark. I'm like what does that have to do it?

She then went on to say that she doesn't understand why he broke up with her since she is light and how two light skinned people should be together and blah blah. She lost her mind and she kept repeating "i'm light skinned I'm light skinned I don't understand why he doesn't want me".

I had a friend like this too. Her bf broke up with her supposedly because she was extremely jealous and now he's with a dark skinned girl and got her pregnant. She tried to say it in a nice way but was like "She dark and she big....No not like that but you know you'll think he'll be wit somebody like me, you know red, blah blah blah, etc etc etc"

This is the same chick who told me, "No, but you alright to be dark!" Her mother was right there and told her to shut up. I told my mom about it and she said her mom is probably the one who taught her to think like that because she must have got it from somewhere.


SMDH. I hope my aunt doesn't do that with her daughter.

My friend was dating a guy whose ex was a contestant for ANTM. I'm not going to name her name, but she was trying to get him back after being on the show, but he said he was in love with my friend, who is gorgeous. He is finnnne. And apparently the "model" is full of drama.

Anyways, this wannabe model sent him a message saying "are you still with that dark girl" and how he is making a mistake choosing someone dark over her. She wrote him a poem and a song Ermm. This girl is crazy. But I guess all she could do was say my friend is dark because my friend is a pretty girl and on her way to being very successful in life with no past issues or unnecessary drama.

Well my friend saw the messages and it messed with her mind. She is tough and a sweet girl, but this had her crying, the first time I ever seen her cry over anything. Anyways they are currently engaged and he cut that girl off.

It's sad dark is seen as being bad.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote keepgrowing Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 12 2014 at 9:01am
Originally posted by newdiva1 newdiva1 wrote:

Originally posted by keepgrowing keepgrowing wrote:

Colorism is a serious issue, but people just shovel it under the rug like it doesn't matter. And this issue is not unique to the black community, which is why it is such a huge problem.
 
 
 
I sometimes wonder do other communities speak on it within their own race like we do.  Do Hindi/hispanic folks have these discussions...like whole history of colonialism and why they think white is right.  And when they do know...do they just succumb or "fight the power"?   The trini folks that I know...when the subject comes up they'll acknowledge some things but don't get real deep about what went down when India was colonized.  Like they don't want to talk bad about massa cause they have white friends.  
 
 
*shrugs*  Iono...I suppose some do.

I always wonder how this discussion happens with other cultures in their homes.

I am around a lot of Indians and the first time I ever heard the topic of colorism openly brought up was after Miss America contest and the first Indian was crowned. A lot of Indian ladies in my class used that opportunity to discuss the issue openly and how if this contest was held in India, she would have never won.

My boyfriend's ex roommate and friend is Indian and he has said that Indians with "white skin" are deemed better and that he just has a "preference" for "white" Indians and white girls. I found it odd since he is medium to dark himself. I do notice it makes people uncomfortable to discuss how their thinking is flawed and marking it as a "preference" covers up how this preference was molded by colonialism and racism.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote tatee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 12 2014 at 9:02am
Originally posted by Princess Grace Princess Grace wrote:

Originally posted by newdiva1 newdiva1 wrote:

Originally posted by keepgrowing keepgrowing wrote:

Colorism is a serious issue, but people just shovel it under the rug like it doesn't matter. And this issue is not unique to the black community, which is why it is such a huge problem.
 
 
 
I sometimes wonder do other communities speak on it within their own race like we do.  Do Hindi/hispanic folks have these discussions...like whole history of colonialism and why they think white is right.  And when they do know...do they just succumb or "fight the power"?   The trini folks that I know...when the subject comes up they'll acknowledge some things but don't get real deep about what went down when India was colonized.  Like they don't want to talk bad about massa cause they have white friends.  
 
 
*shrugs*  Iono...I suppose some do.


I have Italian friends and they seem more concerned about marriage before a certain age or people think something is wrong with you, then its his ancestry. Is he 100% Italian, his finances, but even being a dark Italian will raise brows in certain families. They will only really give a pass if you old and need to get married other than that they view it as marrying down and they will flatout say it. 

Same way with my Chaldean friends, Candace is really light and has sandy brown hair but it is kinky (she straightens it secretly). She would not date this guy because his hair was wiry.

The thing is I dont think any other race would air it on tv or have these discussions  in the open about it . They seem to keep their issues within their community.




i dont see how the two are comparable.  white people internal issues with color and hair maintain their whiteness and make them stronger because whiteness is the goal.  black peoples issues divide us, make us weaker and mentally ill.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote keepgrowing Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 12 2014 at 11:52am
This is a failed system. To continuously support everything light just ends badly because guess what, light skinned blacks are not at the top of the spectrum. Whites are. Therefore it is no surprise when idiot black men go out making fools of themselves marrying any beast devoid of pigment. There is no reason a black man should be putting a ring on Kim Kardashian's finger, but not Karrine Steffans. They are on the same level. Both troubled backgrounds, Karrine moreso than Kim, and good looking women. But Kim gets a pass? For why? Amber gets a pass too? Why? Cause they are white. Let them be black and Kim would still be in the background with no TV show and Amber would just be a baby mama.
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