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Non-American blacks do you let your kids associate

 
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kerysdream7 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote kerysdream7 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 14 2014 at 7:32pm
Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:

Originally posted by OoDles O OoDles O wrote:




I think I can sort of address that, being haitian and having both AA, african (and white European) cousins in law (and also having married into another culture myself at one point). I wouldn't say animosity per say, at least not from what I've observed in my family. But there are cultural clashes, no doubt. Most of my cousins that are married to AAs are male. I notice that it kind of bugs their parents a little bit that the AA wives don't take more of an active interest in haitian culture. There will most likely be bumps in the road when you marry another culture. Being both black doesn't remove all obstacles, people have to be realistic.

This x 100. 

My BIL married an AA and she has absolutely NO interest in our culture. He thought that once they were married she would assimilate, but she hasn't. It causes this awkward tension & some of these 
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uppitynegroid View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote uppitynegroid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 14 2014 at 7:50pm
Originally posted by kerysdream7 kerysdream7 wrote:


This x 100. 

My BIL married an AA and she has absolutely NO interest in our culture. He thought that once they were married she would assimilate, but she hasn't. It causes this awkward tension & some of these 


Gurlll.... I can post about this all day. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote uppitynegroid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 14 2014 at 7:55pm
Originally posted by Wildfire Wildfire wrote:

Originally posted by OoDles O OoDles O wrote:

Sometimes it takes a troll to ask some wild ass questions to get the debate going because
BHM can be obsessively to PC at times and tends rely on articles and such a little much also. 
but then again what do I know.

To comment on the thread topic.. I wonder if their is any animosity from non American black immigrants
who have children and they end up DATING or possibly marrying an African American and not someone
within their immediate community.

Because everything is all good until you start procreating. j/s 

maybe Africans cause they got more cultural rules? just guessing...
i know we happy when Marcia, Sharon, and them marry a "foreigner"....green card and citizenship statusLOLLOL


Of course there is going to be animosity.  Its not just toward AA, but anyone outside the culture.  My family is strongly against it as are man of the Yoruba families I know.
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uppitynegroid View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote uppitynegroid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 14 2014 at 7:57pm
Originally posted by nala52808 nala52808 wrote:

Hmmm, I know my family is very focused on preserving culture and identity, so I know that if I did marry you, they would make a deal out out of it. My father always told me while growing up to marry a nigerian man because he wants to be able to relate to his son in law and he dont want his grandkids eatin mcdonalds. But I like what I like, so he will learn to deal.


My mom always says when your child marries outside their culture you've "lost them" and when I was young I thought she was crazy.  Now I totally get it.  Its true.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (9) Thanks(9)   Quote AmiliaCabral Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 14 2014 at 9:06pm
Back in the day, our next door neighbor was this family from Sierra Leone. The mom wouldn't let her kids come near us. Which I get now bc we were some bebe's kids for real

I remember shouting something at their daughter who was my age when I was like 10...I think I called her a stuck up bitch...her mom yoked me up and spanked me

Then my mom went to her spot to tell her about herself and they ended up getting into a fistfight and my mom got arrested

I feel like there was a point to this story but you get the gist
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (5) Thanks(5)   Quote nala52808 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 14 2014 at 9:08pm
Originally posted by AmiliaCabral AmiliaCabral wrote:

Back in the day, our next door neighbor was this family from Sierra Leone. The mom wouldn't let her kids come near us. Which I get now bc we were some bebe's kids for real

I remember shouting something at their daughter who was my age when I was like 10...I think I called her a stuck up bitch...her mom yoked me up and spanked me

Then my mom went to her spot to tell her about herself and they ended up getting into a fistfight and my mom got arrested

I feel like there was a point to this story but you get the gist
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AmiliaCabral Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 14 2014 at 9:11pm
Hey Nala.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote uppitynegroid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 14 2014 at 9:18pm
Originally posted by nala52808 nala52808 wrote:

Originally posted by AmiliaCabral AmiliaCabral wrote:

Back in the day, our next door neighbor was this family from Sierra Leone. The mom wouldn't let her kids come near us. Which I get now bc we were some bebe's kids for real

I remember shouting something at their daughter who was my age when I was like 10...I think I called her a stuck up bitch...her mom yoked me up and spanked me

Then my mom went to her spot to tell her about herself and they ended up getting into a fistfight and my mom got arrested

I feel like there was a point to this story but you get the gist
Stern Smile


LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote nala52808 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 14 2014 at 9:19pm
Originally posted by AmiliaCabral AmiliaCabral wrote:

Hey Nala.
Hey Amilia! Why you was so ratchet growin up? Got Damn.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JoliePoufiasse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 14 2014 at 9:28pm
Originally posted by kerysdream7 kerysdream7 wrote:

Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:

Originally posted by OoDles O OoDles O wrote:




I think I can sort of address that, being haitian and having both AA, african (and white European) cousins in law (and also having married into another culture myself at one point). I wouldn't say animosity per say, at least not from what I've observed in my family. But there are cultural clashes, no doubt. Most of my cousins that are married to AAs are male. I notice that it kind of bugs their parents a little bit that the AA wives don't take more of an active interest in haitian culture. There will most likely be bumps in the road when you marry another culture. Being both black doesn't remove all obstacles, people have to be realistic.


This x 100. 

My BIL married an AA and she has absolutely NO interest in our culture. He thought that once they were married she would assimilate, but she hasn't. It causes this awkward tension & some of these 


I have to say that word is problematic though. And I guess that is where African culture differs from West indian culture with regards to intercultural relationships. West indians won't expect someone from another culture to ASSIMILATE to them (well, haitians won't anyhow). Because of our history, we have learned to be a little more accommodating of diversity (different tribes coming together and all) even though just like you, we would like the non haitian spouse to at least TRY to show some interest and not be dismissive or even worse, denigrating. African cultures/ethnicities have more elaborate traditions and rituals attached to them, I guess.

As someone who was formerly married to an African, I have to say my in-laws gave me hell whereas my parents were more accepting of my former spouse. That's just my experience though.
I have a cousin who is married to a Kenyan and they have 2 children together, and for some reason, the Kenyan husband doesn't show any interest in transmitting his culture to the kids. The children are always around haitians and speak some creole but not a word of Swahili. I think it's weird.

I'm all for integration and biculturalism. But assimilation is another story. You can't approach an intercultural union like that and expect it to work.




Edited by JoliePoufiasse - Jul 14 2014 at 9:49pm
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