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Non-American blacks do you let your kids associate

 
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AmiliaCabral View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AmiliaCabral Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 14 2014 at 9:11pm
Hey Nala.
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uppitynegroid View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote uppitynegroid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 14 2014 at 9:18pm
Originally posted by nala52808 nala52808 wrote:

Originally posted by AmiliaCabral AmiliaCabral wrote:

Back in the day, our next door neighbor was this family from Sierra Leone. The mom wouldn't let her kids come near us. Which I get now bc we were some bebe's kids for real

I remember shouting something at their daughter who was my age when I was like 10...I think I called her a stuck up bitch...her mom yoked me up and spanked me

Then my mom went to her spot to tell her about herself and they ended up getting into a fistfight and my mom got arrested

I feel like there was a point to this story but you get the gist
Stern Smile


LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote nala52808 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 14 2014 at 9:19pm
Originally posted by AmiliaCabral AmiliaCabral wrote:

Hey Nala.
Hey Amilia! Why you was so ratchet growin up? Got Damn.
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JoliePoufiasse View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JoliePoufiasse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 14 2014 at 9:28pm
Originally posted by kerysdream7 kerysdream7 wrote:

Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:

Originally posted by OoDles O OoDles O wrote:




I think I can sort of address that, being haitian and having both AA, african (and white European) cousins in law (and also having married into another culture myself at one point). I wouldn't say animosity per say, at least not from what I've observed in my family. But there are cultural clashes, no doubt. Most of my cousins that are married to AAs are male. I notice that it kind of bugs their parents a little bit that the AA wives don't take more of an active interest in haitian culture. There will most likely be bumps in the road when you marry another culture. Being both black doesn't remove all obstacles, people have to be realistic.


This x 100. 

My BIL married an AA and she has absolutely NO interest in our culture. He thought that once they were married she would assimilate, but she hasn't. It causes this awkward tension & some of these 


I have to say that word is problematic though. And I guess that is where African culture differs from West indian culture with regards to intercultural relationships. West indians won't expect someone from another culture to ASSIMILATE to them (well, haitians won't anyhow). Because of our history, we have learned to be a little more accommodating of diversity (different tribes coming together and all) even though just like you, we would like the non haitian spouse to at least TRY to show some interest and not be dismissive or even worse, denigrating. African cultures/ethnicities have more elaborate traditions and rituals attached to them, I guess.

As someone who was formerly married to an African, I have to say my in-laws gave me hell whereas my parents were more accepting of my former spouse. That's just my experience though.
I have a cousin who is married to a Kenyan and they have 2 children together, and for some reason, the Kenyan husband doesn't show any interest in transmitting his culture to the kids. The children are always around haitians and speak some creole but not a word of Swahili. I think it's weird.

I'm all for integration and biculturalism. But assimilation is another story. You can't approach an intercultural union like that and expect it to work.




Edited by JoliePoufiasse - Jul 14 2014 at 9:49pm
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sbrownie84 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sbrownie84 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 14 2014 at 11:49pm
Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:

Originally posted by kerysdream7 kerysdream7 wrote:

Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:

Originally posted by OoDles O OoDles O wrote:




I think I can sort of address that, being haitian and having both AA, african (and white European) cousins in law (and also having married into another culture myself at one point). I wouldn't say animosity per say, at least not from what I've observed in my family. But there are cultural clashes, no doubt. Most of my cousins that are married to AAs are male. I notice that it kind of bugs their parents a little bit that the AA wives don't take more of an active interest in haitian culture. There will most likely be bumps in the road when you marry another culture. Being both black doesn't remove all obstacles, people have to be realistic.




I agree with this wholeheartedly Jolie.

Some cultures (African, Indian, middle eastern) seem to be less lenient in terms of assimilation. I wanted to say this but was scared. I've noticed most women who marry into that culture are the ones who conform not vice versa.
This x 100. 

My BIL married an AA and she has absolutely NO interest in our culture. He thought that once they were married she would assimilate, but she hasn't. It causes this awkward tension & some of these 


I have to say that word is problematic though. And I guess that is where African culture differs from West indian culture with regards to intercultural relationships. West indians won't expect someone from another culture to ASSIMILATE to them (well, haitians won't anyhow). Because of our history, we have learned to be a little more accommodating of diversity (different tribes coming together and all) even though just like you, we would like the non haitian spouse to at least TRY to show some interest and not be dismissive or even worse, denigrating. African cultures/ethnicities have more elaborate traditions and rituals attached to them, I guess.

As someone who was formerly married to an African, I have to say my in-laws gave me hell whereas my parents were more accepting of my former spouse. That's just my experience though.
I have a cousin who is married to a Kenyan and they have 2 children together, and for some reason, the Kenyan husband doesn't show any interest in transmitting his culture to the kids. The children are always around haitians and speak some creole but not a word of Swahili. I think it's weird.

I'm all for integration and biculturalism. But assimilation is another story. You can't approach an intercultural union like that and expect it to work.


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ThoughtCouture View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ThoughtCouture Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 15 2014 at 12:07am
interesting...
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Princess Grace View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Princess Grace Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 15 2014 at 12:15am
I'm still stuck on all these opportunities that people not born here think that the lazy blacks are not using.....Stern Smile


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femmemichelle View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote femmemichelle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 15 2014 at 1:25am
Originally posted by Princess Grace Princess Grace wrote:

I'm still stuck on all these opportunities that people not born here think that the lazy blacks are not using.....Stern Smile



I think it's the education factor. So many opportunities to be great through education go to waste. 
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CherryBlossom View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote CherryBlossom Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 15 2014 at 1:31am
Originally posted by Wildfire Wildfire wrote:

Originally posted by CherryBlossom CherryBlossom wrote:

wildfire-- you do realise that within many african football federations (cameroon comes to mind--I remember watching something about their federation and it was interesting, their pay wasn't even guaranteed a day before one of their past tournaments), that there's a lot of corruption and money-grabbing

...the powers that be aren't exactly creating a positive environment for the players either



Yes, thats true....i just feel like, it could somehow be dealt with outside of the public eye? 

**Cherry are you from the commonwealth? I notice you spelt realise with an 's' like the rest of us Big smile

yeah my parents are nigerian but I was born and bred here in LondonLOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote afrokock Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 15 2014 at 1:59am
I'm not going to teach my kids to discriminate people based on country of origin etc etc .. That's limiting and could lead to missed opportunities

The intercultural clash that I've witnessed the most is when one partner is African and one is "western" or Carribean.. The African culture tends to take a backseat 90% of the time for reasons ..

Not always the case but happens often enough ..
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