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fckwitmeuknoigotit View Drop Down
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    Posted: Dec 10 2013 at 10:01am
nonbelievers who come from religious familes, how did you come out to your fam and what was their reaction?
 
if you're still in the closet, how do you fly under the radar? do you bow your head and participate in prayer with the family? 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
if this thread is a repost please provide a link so i can read the responses.
 
 
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patternsandtexture View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote patternsandtexture Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 10 2013 at 10:06am
I'm under the radar but I don't really talk about it through family except 2 NY brother and my oldest uncle who does believe but he is more pantheist and does not think any religion or any human doctrine can define a creator. My brother kinda believes or more agnostic but thinks it's all magic. So those who I talk religion too with nothing being held back. I don't really care about people's beliefs as long they don't hurt nobody. So it's no one's business to know really.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote gemini1591 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 10 2013 at 10:41am
Idk if I count lol but there was a time where I stopped believing and considered myself agnostic. I only talked about it with non family who felt the same way and when my family would be talking about god or anything related I would just avoid the conversation.
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fckwitmeuknoigotit View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote fckwitmeuknoigotit Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 10 2013 at 10:43am
Originally posted by patternsandtexture patternsandtexture wrote:

I'm under the radar but I don't really talk about it through family except 2 NY brother and my oldest uncle who does believe but he is more pantheist and does not think any religion or any human doctrine can define a creator. My brother kinda believes or more agnostic but thinks it's all magic. So those who I talk religion too with nothing being held back. I don't really care about people's beliefs as long they don't hurt nobody. So it's no one's business to know really.
yea i can feel you about not worrying about others beliefs. why haven't you brought it up to your fam, though? do you think they'll shun you?
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fckwitmeuknoigotit View Drop Down
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Originally posted by gemini1591 gemini1591 wrote:

Idk if I count lol but there was a time where I stopped believing and considered myself agnostic. I only talked about it with non family who felt the same way and when my family would be talking about god or anything related I would just avoid the conversation.
 
 
we're at the same place tbh. i haven't talked to anyone about it yet because i don't know any non believers or agnostic irl. i come from a deeply religious fam and i know it'll break their hearts if i told them i'm questioning my beliefs.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote ms_wonderland Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 10 2013 at 10:52am
i told them that they're all hypocrites and i'm not going to church anymore because i wasn't getting what i needed from the experience.  they didn't question me.
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I know its the standard term but I'm not a "non-believer".  I believe in lots of thingsSmile

Anyway I'm old enough to do / say whatever I want so I didn't give it much thought.   My mother was mad/sad, wants to save my son from hell and cried because she believes she won't be able to see me in heaven.  I told her not to worry about that because...... 


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patternsandtexture View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote patternsandtexture Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 10 2013 at 11:03am
Originally posted by fckwitmeuknoigotit fckwitmeuknoigotit wrote:

Originally posted by patternsandtexture patternsandtexture wrote:

I'm under the radar but I don't really talk about it through family except 2 NY brother and my oldest uncle who does believe but he is more pantheist and does not think any religion or any human doctrine can define a creator. My brother kinda believes or more agnostic but thinks it's all magic. So those who I talk religion too with nothing being held back. I don't really care about people's beliefs as long they don't hurt nobody. So it's no one's business to know really.


yea i can feel you about not worrying about others beliefs. why haven't you brought it up to your fam, though? do you think they'll shun you?


Nah, I just don't want every conversation being reference to religion and they are not the type to back down. I read too much and experience too much for me not to believe in this without any validity and the fusion of other religions when concern with Christianity. Also, No one can explain why this is the true religion when other religions had geniuses and it's more in line how the universe really is.
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patternsandtexture View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote patternsandtexture Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 10 2013 at 11:10am
Originally posted by kfoxx1998 kfoxx1998 wrote:

I know its the standard term but I'm not a "non-believer".  I believe in lots of thingsSmile

Anyway I'm old enough to do / say whatever I want so I didn't give it much thought.   My mother was mad/sad, wants to save my son from hell and cried because she believes she won't be able to see me in heaven.  I told her not to worry about that because...... 


 
That's crazy!!! I'm sorry to hear that.
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kfoxx1998 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (5) Thanks(5)   Quote kfoxx1998 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 10 2013 at 11:16am
J it sounds like what you really need is advice on how to navigate the 100% certain criticism and "fight" you will get from your family.  It's not something you "have to" reveal to them but I see how this is inevitable in your case.   Hopefully more ARs will hit this thread with advice but here is mine.

The only arguments you will get are arguments of faith.  Faith doesn't require facts or evidence but a conscience choice to believe / disbelieve what has been passed down from the ancient Abrahamic religions (at least in America).  Faith can't really be explained, it just is so it often leads to anger, lashing out, quoting the disputed "facts", etc. 

Your best bet is to focus on the respect you have for the person, not whether you agree with what they are saying.   Treat them with kindness in your approach and try to understand that faith can be both fragile and rigid.  Basically I'm saying it may not be worth moving to the front of your relationships with family members but if it happens, keep in mind that you are questioning something they need to believe very much.  They're not just giving you a hard time, they actually have a visceral reaction to the idea that their faith could potentially be in vain.  

Imma just go on and tell you to put your competitive nature in check before allowing yourself to get into a shouting match about something that you can comfortably navigate w/o putting to the "argument" to the test.   You can lead by example to others in the family who feel the same way and focus on keeping the peace.

My only exception to that is if/when I see them using religion to "shame" another family member.  They already know I'm going to go off so they don't do it around me anymore. 


Edited by kfoxx1998 - Dec 10 2013 at 11:21am
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