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Forum LockedNatural Hair Ladies, Is she speaking...

 
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cutejawjapeach View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 13 2009 at 12:20am
You all pretty much summed up what I was saying...I was like "Nooooo, I like you , please don't start talking out of the side of your neck like that"...LMAO...
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thewonderfulwa View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 13 2009 at 12:26am
I think she should stick to Makeup tuts and keep her thoughts to herself.
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foxyroy19 View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 13 2009 at 12:26am

I clicked just to see the bathroom....so sad I could not get pass her eyebrows....now natural hair means you attract men with dreadlocks...plain and simple......But I never stayed natural long enough to really know....

 
 
***disclaimer:  I did not listen to video.  I had the sound muted when I noticed her eyebrows... this is just my jist of this topic.  Anyone offended please accept my humble apologies.  Anyone offended...please do not quote.***
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SpicyBrown View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 13 2009 at 12:27am
I doubt that going natural will be the end-all-be-all way for a single AA woman to find a "real, deep brotha who has real swag" lol....but I definitely agree with much of what NaturallyScandalous said.

There is a HUGE difference between the men that I attracted before I went natural and the men that I attract now, and I'm sure that women have heard this same experience from tons of naturals. Before I went natural, I was still approached by a variety of different types of men of a variety of different races, but most of them seemed to be very superficial...as if they were looking for that "video chick" with all the beauty, glamour, nice body, etc....and that's it. Super shallow, they didn't have depth to them. I could already tell that while they may be able to entertain my eyes and offer eye candy, they definitely weren't going to entertain me mentally & intellectually, which I value just as much as the physical. I got the constant cat-calls and "Hey Ma" "Yo Shorty" "Hey Baby lemme holla at you boo..." etc...all of that nonsense that turns me completely off and wastes my time. The ones that actually did approach me respectfully at first, showed their true colors later on down the line, lol.

But after I went natural - the men I attract, as the video said, are on a whole other level and are the type of men that I am attracted to in return: intelligent & intellectual, not loud attention-whores but cool & collected, respectful, open-minded, cultured, what some may call "real and deep", etc...more along the lines of the Lupe Fiascos, the Commons, the Mos Defs, the Dweles....versus the Diddys that I was getting before, lol. Also, the way that men speak to me when they approach me is just completely different period now. Even the "Diddys" try to front and approach me respectfully with the "Good Morning Miss..."s and "Excuse me Miss, can I speak to you for a minute?"s...but I can usually see through a front. I rarely have to deal with any of the childish nonsense that took place before.

I'm not saying that going natural is the only way that a AA woman will be treated respectfully, and that if you want to find a good man you have to go natural - that's ridiculous. I'm not here to be a Natural Nazi. I'm just speaking from my personal experience. It just simply seems that certain types of men appreciate and are attracted to AA women with natural hair. I really wasn't expecting men to really notice it and make a big deal out of it, but they do. It's been very interesting to experience the shift lol!

ETA: I thought that I should also add that before I went natural, I attracted one of those intelligent, cultured, real brothas that I mentioned as my type earlier...and we've been together for 3 years now. He is actually the one that strongly supported me in going natural, helped me cut off my permed hair, and can't stop touching my curls now. He was attracted to me because of who I am on the inside. So of course it's what is on the inside that will ultimately attract a man and keep him around. But, we all know how important first impressions are, and so I guess I said all of this to say that the first impression of natural hair attracts a certain type of guy.

*Steps off of soap box now, lol.*

Edited by SpicyBrown - Apr 13 2009 at 12:38am
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MizzBrit View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 13 2009 at 12:40am
i guess
hair is hair is hair...
to me.
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rickysrose View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 13 2009 at 12:44am
Recruiting propaganda LOLLOLLOL
 
Attracted to and stay with are twoooo separate things and no man is going to stay with you depending on your hair, I mean would anyone want their relationship to be based on hair, I mean like seriously?
 
 
 
 
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slayfresh View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 13 2009 at 12:56am
please half these negros can't tell the diff between texlaxed, natural, relaxed braid-outs, wags, and bobraz and I doubt they care.
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cutejawjapeach View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 13 2009 at 1:21am
Thanks for another perspective Spicy...
 
 
 
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SeXxiLuV818 View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 13 2009 at 1:30am
I dont think hair texture has anything to do with what kind of man u catch. Its all in how u carry yourself. 
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Totallycool View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 13 2009 at 2:56am
^^^Oh contrary SeXxiLuV818. Men like my dad are repelled by napps, ofcoarse, I aint exactly lookin for a man like that because it is clear that he has a preference for light n bright women with "gud haya".  I do attract a VARIETY of guys now, not just black guys and most truely do appreciate my hair. However, I think I am a puzzle for alot of people. Im a cute black chic with kinky hair, style, and grace. I dont have an accent at all. Not a southern one since i grew up in the south and not a west coast one. Unfortunately "ign'nt" people think I sound "like a white girl" and others dont know what to think about me when they see the dark skin, kinky hair, awsome style. They are ready to classify me but they cant. For some reason, I seem to be 'something else' to people. I dont mind it. Because it goes to show that Im breaking the classifications that they may put me in.   They recognize me as the individual.
 
 
Yes, Ive had plenty of guys yell erika badu, blah blah blah. Ignorance. They believe they have me all sized up. Wrong wrong wrong. For example, one brotha came into my job and decided to say very loudly HEY its MACY GRAY. I paused and stared at him for a milisecond with my head cocked to the side. Immediately he realized it was a mistake and spent the whole time he was there trying to correct it and get my contact information but that ship had already sailed. I dont accept guys who screw up that soon. I am not the "natural, freaky deaky incense burning granola eating" stereotype he thought I was.
 
Over all, I do believe my hair seperates me from not only other women of other races, but also other black women who straighten or wave their hair. Blacks are the most unique race on the planet and I embrace every part of that because I am 99.99% black. Because people in general hear what I have to say and see that Im not just another mindless sheeple following the media, I will say alot of guys who speak to me are on another level. Gosh and dont even get me started of the middle aged businessmen who keep making passes. I just know they would be a great catch if I were a lil older. You will be suprised how many guys have a thing for fros. Its not so much about the hair but how you wear it, darling.
 
I know one chic who has 2 looks. Natural, short hair, jacked up clothes no pride VS cute, long straight weave, heels and dresses to the 9. Now, I personally dont understand how she can switch from one to the other so publically, I mean, atleast look put together all the time! I can only imagine it must be akward for her to go from long straight crown to short kinky crown. Plus, it shows others subconsciously that shes not alright, and she isnt and she attracts the most awful guys...
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