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My man don't wanna cook....

 
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GoldieLocks View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote GoldieLocks Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 09 2013 at 8:41am
Originally posted by Beauty620 Beauty620 wrote:

Originally posted by GoldieLocks GoldieLocks wrote:

I tell my SO if he want to play the gender role game and have me be the only one cooking, then here go ALL of my bills and a list of items I want/need. Get to paying Cool ... He cooks now Ermm

Good one! LOL

I should try that one huh. I'll see if he can do something simple like put a pizza in with some fries for starters. I talked to him lastnight and asked him "you really wouldn't cook for me"? he asked "do you want burnt food", I said sure i'll eat it. He agreed, so I can't wait to see this, i'll help him out....

We shall see Wink

Thank you ladies. I just wanted to be sure it wasn't me who was on sum mess. Smile

Please update us with what concoction he comes up with, and watch him to make sure he not burning stuff up on purpose! LOL
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rell85 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote rell85 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 09 2013 at 9:51pm
some people don't cook that's all.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 10 2013 at 4:18am
I think he feels cooking is women's work. Confused
 
You are married to an old fashioned guy that's it. But 1 big question .. you do BOTH work outside of the home?
 
1) If you ONLY work in the home, taking care of kids - sorry, this is the life you chose so you will be stuck doing all the cooking because that's basically part of your 'stay at home' job. Disapprove Now, that said - he should want to surprise you and cook for you sometimes just for fun. But if he feels cooking is below him .. then you are gonna have to live with the choice you made in men - because that's what you have.
 
It's harrd to negociate with a guy that is traditional AFTER you get married.
 
2) You  BOTH work outside of the home ... then that is a different story altogether. Then you have to share. What has kept the peace for me is something like .. Mon and Wed (I cook), Tues and Thurs (he cooks), Saturday we order in (Chinese or whatever ) and Sunday we eat out.
 
Something along these lines spreads out the workload. Same for household chores, washing etc... split them up between the too of you and the things NEITHER of you wants to do like washing the car or cutting the lawn or whatever .. hire outside help. If you are both workiing ... shouldn't be a problem IMO.
 
BUT no you can't work all day just like him and then come home to do all the household chores and watch the kids because that you have TWO jobs .. and he only has ONE. Not fair.Shocked
 
(I know women that live like this though .. they have no life because of these two jobs and are quite unhappy. I also know women that stay at home full time and they are also miserable because they have nothing of their own - outside of the family.
 
IMO men and women need to form a 'co operative' when they get married and have kids (I don't have kids so I can't comment on that) but basically .. you have to both have a job .. but SHARE the workload as best you can so that one of you does not end up being resentful after a while.)


Edited by Printer_Ink - May 10 2013 at 4:23am
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goodm3 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote goodm3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 10 2013 at 3:34pm
I prefer my SO does NOT cook. A bubbling stomach is nothing to play with. He may be try to help you. lol... Im just saying.


But overall, I don't like my men to cook because I feel like the kitchen is my domain. Cooking/baking relaxes me and it makes me feel good to watch him or anyone else enjoy the food i prepared. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote candiecoco Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 14 2013 at 3:31pm

I'm going through the same thing.  We will be married for 8 years and my husband has never cooked for me.  I love food and I would probably love him a lot better if he did help with the cooking.  I work and take of the house.  Yes he has a harder job but when I get home I dont sit down until about 9:00-9:30.  So OP I feel everything your going through.  I've asked made suggestions and still nothing.  Ive given up b/c I dont think he will ever do it.  It may not be a big deal for others but if I came home to a home cooked meal made by him I would jump his bones in a heartbeat.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 15 2013 at 8:19am
So ... you have TWO jobs. One in the home and one outside the home?
 
I don't care if his one job is 'harder'... that is a relative term .. until he digs ditches a shovel all day. Other than that .. you both work outside the house.
 
If he doesn't want to share the cooking .. either you will have to live with it ... or do something to get his attention like ... quit working your 'second' job outside the house and stay home full time .. or keep your outside job and quit cooking.
 
(Take this as a heads up to all the women that are so anxious to get married - because I know a lot of women in the this position. A lot ... but I don't know one guy working two jobs like this. Men seem to be fine with this arrangement in fact - that is - the woman working two jobs. Confused
 
You have to work out this kind of stuff BEFORE you get married because after you get married .. he has no motiovation to adjust his thinking so this you are stuck with this life.)
 
The
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote IslandSuga Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 20 2013 at 8:19am
Originally posted by Printer_Ink Printer_Ink wrote:

So ... you have TWO jobs. One in the home and one outside the home?
 
I don't care if his one job is 'harder'... that is a relative term .. until he digs ditches a shovel all day. Other than that .. you both work outside the house.
 
If he doesn't want to share the cooking .. either you will have to live with it ... or do something to get his attention like ... quit working your 'second' job outside the house and stay home full time .. or keep your outside job and quit cooking.
 
(Take this as a heads up to all the women that are so anxious to get married - because I know a lot of women in the this position. A lot ... but I don't know one guy working two jobs like this. Men seem to be fine with this arrangement in fact - that is - the woman working two jobs. Confused
 
You have to work out this kind of stuff BEFORE you get married because after you get married .. he has no motiovation to adjust his thinking so this you are stuck with this life.)
 
The


I agree. My ex never cooked and always ate out. In his mind he thought that if were to get married I would take care of the kids and cook, clean, etc. Hell no. This is a joint effort, if I'm working and taking care of the home dammit you can wash a pan or help me out with chopping these onions. For my next relationship I would like to introduce cooking together early on because I'm no one's mother nor am I a slave to the kitchen.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote jonesable Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 22 2013 at 12:45am
That would be a no go for me.
Cooking and cleaning are life skills.
I cook for my guys and he cooks for me too.
He cleans and so do I.

We do both together often
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Beauty620 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 25 2013 at 8:29pm
Originally posted by candiecoco candiecoco wrote:

I'm going through the same thing.  We will be married for 8 years and my husband has never cooked for me.  I love food and I would probably love him a lot better if he did help with the cooking.  I work and take of the house.  Yes he has a harder job but when I get home I dont sit down until about 9:00-9:30.  So OP I feel everything your going through.  I've asked made suggestions and still nothing.  Ive given up b/c I dont think he will ever do it.  It may not be a big deal for others but if I came home to a home cooked meal made by him I would jump his bones in a heartbeat.


EXACTLY!!!!!!!!! Dang you sound just like me lol LOL....I don't sit down neither until like 10:30pm-11:00pm, be missing my shows n all. SMH SleepyDead
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote loveandpeace1984 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 06 2013 at 7:59am
Sounds like you have some lazy men who don't think they should be cleaning and cooking. If he doesn't want to do it, then he should pay all of the bills in the house. This is coming from another man.
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