Black Hair Media Forum Homepage
BHM BHM BHM
Forum Home Forum Home > Lets Talk > Relationships
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - My ex thinks i wasnt good enough for him..
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Register Register  Login Login
Angkor Cambodian Hair
 

My ex thinks i wasnt good enough for him..

 
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  123 7>
It Always Begin With Beautiful Hair

Bootiful Cream



Author
rubyrage986 View Drop Down
Junior Member
Junior Member
Avatar

Joined: May 31 2012
Status: Offline
Points: 383
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote rubyrage986 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: My ex thinks i wasnt good enough for him..
    Posted: Jun 15 2012 at 4:31pm
My boyfriend (now ex boyfriend) got out of prison this past february from doing 10 years for armed robbery. He was 16 when he went in and is now turning 26. A month after getting out, he turned completely cold, vindictive, cruel, and started devaluing me. 

Full story here: http://forum.blackhairmedia.com/what-did-i-do-to-make-him-hate-me_topic340242_page1.html

Shortly after that, he broke up with me with no solid explanation on why. His claims were that i asked him too many questions, argued with him too much and that he needs to get himself together. He wanted to be friends but i declined that invitation. He now wants nothing to do with me I spoke to a mutual friend of ours and he told me that he doesnt like to see me hurting over my break up with my ex so he was going to keep it real with me. He said that he told him that you have a great girl, ambitious, educated, beautiful.. and had asked him why he didnt want to be with me. He said his response was " Man, I can do better than that" He told me that my ex thinks he is prettier than me and that i dont need a man like that. This news of course hurt really bad. He used to tell me i was the most beautiful thing to him, his family and friends even told him that he had a great beautiful woman. I dont know when he decided i wasnt good enough, but how can a man who spent half his life in prison all of a sudden think he is better and can do better than me, and how can a man think he is prettier than his girlfriend? Advice please!
Back to Top
Sponsored Links


Back to Top
indiecat View Drop Down
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Avatar

Joined: Sep 07 2006
Location: Cali
Status: Offline
Points: 66545
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote indiecat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 15 2012 at 4:50pm
i think you should move on. hes insulted you in so many ways when he is the one who is not good enough for you. i had ex bfs who made me feel this way. turns out they had their own insecurities or they were not really looking for the right women or they had hidden agendas. like they wanted women they could control and abuse and maybe it looked like i was not going to put up with that type of thing.

anyways, you can do better than him. i'm pretty sure that he is no adonis and hes been in jail as well. he doesn't seem to be a very nice person either. doesn't seem like he has very much to offer anybody. 

one more thing, you said his friends and family said you were beautiful, clearly, there is nothing wrong with you. don't think that you are not beautiful because you probably are. 


Edited by indiecat - Jun 15 2012 at 4:50pm
Back to Top
KrooK1804 View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: Jun 09 2012
Status: Offline
Points: 1826
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (5) Thanks(5)   Quote KrooK1804 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 15 2012 at 5:32pm
Originally posted by rubyrage986 rubyrage986 wrote:

My boyfriend (now ex boyfriend) got out of prison this past february from doing 10 years for armed robbery. He was 16 when he went in and is now turning 26. A month after getting out, he turned completely cold, vindictive, cruel, and started devaluing me. 

Full story here: http://forum.blackhairmedia.com/what-did-i-do-to-make-him-hate-me_topic340242_page1.html

Shortly after that, he broke up with me with no solid explanation on why. His claims were that i asked him too many questions, argued with him too much and that he needs to get himself together. He wanted to be friends but i declined that invitation. He now wants nothing to do with me I spoke to a mutual friend of ours and he told me that he doesnt like to see me hurting over my break up with my ex so he was going to keep it real with me. He said that he told him that you have a great girl, ambitious, educated, beautiful.. and had asked him why he didnt want to be with me. He said his response was " Man, I can do better than that" He told me that my ex thinks he is prettier than me and that i dont need a man like that. This news of course hurt really bad. He used to tell me i was the most beautiful thing to him, his family and friends even told him that he had a great beautiful woman. I dont know when he decided i wasnt good enough, but how can a man who spent half his life in prison all of a sudden think he is better and can do better than me, and how can a man think he is prettier than his girlfriend? Advice please!



F*ck that dude... straight like that. Move on. If he can't see the value in a female that would hold him down throughout some of the best months of her youth... he was right when he said "he needs to get himself together." Don't sweat it miss, for every ten idiots there are out there, there's at least one with some sense. Plenty would appreciate the type of loyalty, care and effort you put into dude... time for you to stop obsessing over the past and go out there and find one.
Back to Top
EasterBell View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Mar 09 2008
Location: US - Alabama
Status: Offline
Points: 39953
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote EasterBell Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 15 2012 at 5:56pm
Once again, MOVE ON.. Dude is an ass hole and that message should be the final nail in the coffin, to let you know that this dude is not checking for you. Also, says that he is moving on if he can so easily dismiss you like that. I know it's a hard pill for you to swallow, but the message here is truly clear, HE DOES NOT WANT YOU.. 
Believe it or not, there is wayyyy better men than this dude.. Not only should you stop contacting this dude, also STOP LETTING FOLKS TELL YOU WHAT'S GOING ON WITH HIM.. You need to be alone to get your head together and find yourself.. Cut off any dealings with this dude, which may include his friends.. He don't want you in his life anymore, which is good because a dude like him shouldn't be worth your time anyway.. There are plenty other guys that can see your worth. Why settle for a  bum azz dude?


Edited by EasterBell - Jun 15 2012 at 6:00pm
Back to Top
Emily Loretta View Drop Down
VIP Member
VIP Member
Avatar

Joined: Jan 21 2011
Location: Atlanta, GA
Status: Offline
Points: 8734
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote Emily Loretta Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 15 2012 at 6:05pm
Move on! Dude don't want you. Go find someone better, and stop wasting your time thinking about him. I understand you hurting but coming on BHM to take the time to write out everything and worry over it even more is not helping you get over it. Just let that situation and that man go. And then go do something that makes you happy, go watch a movie, take a bike ride, exercise, call up a friend you haven't talked too, see a family member, learn a new language, take a dance class. Just do something in your life that productive besides thinking of someone who does not deserve or want you. Go be happy girl! 
Back to Top
cvzx View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Sep 22 2007
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 14609
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote cvzx Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 15 2012 at 6:28pm
I agree with Emily Loretta. Life is short don't anymore time on this.
Back to Top
laddie View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Jul 05 2006
Location: US - Maryland
Status: Offline
Points: 13981
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote laddie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 15 2012 at 6:36pm
Not sure if you're trolling.

But, if he thinks he's prettier than you & he went to prison (not just jail) at 16, it's possible that something might've happened to him in there. 

As others have said, it's time to move on. Besides, with his record it'll be difficult for him to get a decent job. Perpetual joblessness coupled with his attitude means you would be miserable with him, anyway. 
Back to Top
rubynaturalprincess View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: Mar 04 2011
Status: Offline
Points: 1898
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote rubynaturalprincess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 15 2012 at 6:47pm
Originally posted by laddie laddie wrote:

Not sure if you're trolling.

But, if he thinks he's prettier than you & he went to prison (not just jail) at 16, it's possible that something might've happened to him in there. 

As others have said, it's time to move on. Besides, with his record it'll be difficult for him to get a decent job. Perpetual joblessness coupled with his attitude means you would be miserable with him, anyway. 

 +1 
Back to Top
sunshine321511 View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member


Joined: Mar 05 2008
Status: Offline
Points: 17290
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (10) Thanks(10)   Quote sunshine321511 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 15 2012 at 8:03pm
You need to gain some pride!!!
 
What I mean by that is....in the black community we seem to think that women must be the "ride or die" woman and tolerate anything. 
 
Pride means - 
 
  • a feeling of self-respect and personal worth
  • satisfaction with your (or another's) achievements; "he takes pride in his son's success"
  • the trait of being spurred on by a dislike of falling below your standards

  • When you have self pride, you tell yourself....I can not continue to date someone who mistreats me. 
     
    For example, many many years ago...I dated a man who would not acknowledge holidays, birthdays, valentines...and I had to mature enough to know this person didn't care about me.  I had to learn...you having sex with someone who can't part his lips and tell you happy birthday and you keep dating and sexing him...THEN I'M THE FOOL.
    Another example, I knew this girl in DC. SHe dates this dude who calls her ugly to other people, tells her she is not his type...well the people he told this too comes back and tells her.  Instead of having some SELF pride, she keeps messing with him.  THen she gets pregnant and is surprised that he does not support her daugher or acts like a father to her...She was the FOOL.
     
    Use negative comments about you as motivation.  Remember that song by TI about motivation and haters giving you motivation.  You need to say over my dead body...will I ever go back to this man.  He got the nerve to say the comment about me.  You have to have some self pride, learn to love yourself.  We all get lonely and you have to say...I don't care if I am horny...I'm never sexing this man again.  Cause if you go back to him, you make yourself look like a FOOL. If you go back you are teaching him I can talk about her like a dog and she still dumb enough to come back to me.  You would make yourself look stupid and I encourage you to not do that because you will be treated even worst because he will have even less respect for you than he already has.
    Back to Top
    cvzx View Drop Down
    Elite Member
    Elite Member
    Avatar

    Joined: Sep 22 2007
    Location: United States
    Status: Offline
    Points: 14609
    Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote cvzx Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 15 2012 at 10:05pm
    ^
    Back to Top
    Get Longer Healthier Faster Growing Hair
    Get Healthier Stronger Longer Hair
    Glam Twinz
    Weave Connection
    Little Black Scarf
    Human Hair Wigs
    Wefting Training
    Brazilian Hair
    Brazilian Hair
    Wig and Hair Extension on Amazon
     Post Reply Post Reply Page  123 7>
      Share Topic   

    Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down