Some of the secrets are disturbing. I can't fathom some of these...
"I once hooked up with a girl in college. I had a bandaid on my finger before hand. I didn't have it after the deed was done. Never found that bandaid."
"I'm female. My mom died when I was 8. When I was a teenager I let my father have s ex with me cause I thought he wouldn't hit me if he f ucked me.
Edit: Two years after he started rapeing me and continuing to beat me I hit him back and kept hitting until he was on the floor. He called his parents and told them that he didn't want me anymore (they don't know what he did) 48 hours later I was half way across the world at their house. I told them that he beat me so they sent me to therapy, to my therapist I told the whole truth. They also sent me to horseback riding lessons those helped me heal more than the human therapist. I was behind in math and reading so they got me tutors. I'm in college now and I'm engaged to a wonderful man."
"I had sex with a 12yo girl when I was 19. She lied about her age and had big breasts, was already sexually active and we were dating. When I was visiting her at her parents house, I found out the truth, I'd taken this girl to concerts, how the she acquired a passable fake ID I'll never know. I told her my ex and I were patching things up and we couldn't date anymore. She said that was Ok, was a lie, but I didn't want to go to prison for statutory rape. Well past the statute of limitations, so I'm not worried about it now, however I've never told anyone about it for fear of prison time and being labeled a registered sex offender for the rest of my life. Beware: early bloomers are crafty and can have fake IDs."
"Every day, I ride a commuter train to work and I fantasize about the train crashing. I feel like I kind of hope it will crash just so I don't have to go to work. I hate my job so much.
But I support my wife and kids so I can't just quit. Even though I'm highly qualified and experienced in my field, all my applications to new jobs haven't turned up much. I had two interviews that I had to burn sick days to attend, they seemed to go really really well, and then I never got a call back or a response to my follow up emails.
So I just get on the train every day hoping it will crash."
"I grew up in a very religious family. When I was about 12 years old, I got baptized. It was a big deal. It was me and one other kid around the same age as me.
Well after all the fanfare, the other kid who was baptized that day comes over to my house to play. And convinces me to have sex. I convinced my little brother (a bit younger than me) to join us so he couldn't tell on us. I was extremely naive. I didn't even know what sex was, much less gay sex. I knew we weren't supposed to be naked or touching each other, but I didn't understand why or what these actions meant.
It wasn't until about 3 years later that it really hit me. I felt so guilty. I had sex - GAY SEX - on the day I was baptized. I cried so many nights. I thought about suicide. I worried about whether I would go to hell when I died.
It took me until about 26 to finally accept what happened. I am gay (and no, I don't think it's because of that single incident), and out to my family and several friends. It took a while, but I'm pretty well-adjusted and happy these days.
The problem is that I still feel guilty that my brother got involved in the situation. That I involved him. He used to be such a happy kid, and since not long after that day he has been colder, less social. I suspect he remembers, but we've never discussed it. I'm 99% sure he's straight. He seems to want so badly to find a girlfriend/wife, but he's so sarcastic and melancholy these days, and that doesn't help. I can't help but feel that I am at least partly responsible for that.
I just want my brother to be happy."
"I occasionally fantasize about the deaths of my relatives. When I was 14, my aunt passed away. Every single person that was in the room when the news were delivered broke down in tears. My mom was hysterical. I, on the other hand, was actively suppressing an urge to laugh. I found the situation genuinely entertaining. This brings me to my dark confession- I am relatively certain that I am a borderline psychopath."
"I'm in a long term relationship with a black guy, and being with him is making me incredibly racist towards black people."
"I tried to kill my ex-girlfriend 3-4 years ago.
We broke up messily and it comes out that she had been having a thing with another guy in our group of friends. We tried to talk about it (hah, classic, when you break up the one person you want to talk about things with is the one person who is least helpful) but she just acted like "We're not going out, you don't have a right to be angry"
Whether what she said was right or wrong I should have just got the hell out of there. Of course I didn't, I kept trying to talk to her. Half wanting to fix things, half wanting to just get her to understand why I was upset. It gets to the point where she just flat out ignores me. I take great offence at this.
I ended up waiting outside her house with a knife. I was hoping to kill her or the new guy (preferably both of course). I knew there was no way to get away with it, I was just weighing up the life in prison vs what I thought at the time was "doing the right thing".
I waited there for hours and hours before giving up. Turns out she was out of town that night.
It's been such a long time, and I've moved a very long way away but I still can't get over this. I feel like at that moment I lost myself. I still get flashes of rage where I want nothing more to see them dead. I wish I could turn it off.
My advice for anyone being stalked or harassed is this: Do not engage or escalate in any way. Never reply to a message, never think you can talk someone around. That tiny dot of contact will spiral out of control."