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My crush thinks I'm using him

 
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carabunga View Drop Down
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    Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 4:57pm
So I have a huuuge crush on this guy that I met through a mutual friend of ours. When we first started talking we hit it off immediately and I feel like he is pretty much everything that I'm looking for in a guy. The only problem is that before and during the time while him and I were getting to know each other, I was still involved with my ex boyfriend. Now me and my ex have a long history together so I know that it will be hard to just give him up even though he is an ex for a reason..... But I started talking to my crush because I was willing to drop my ex and be with him instead. Fast forward a couple of weeks later... I tell my ex about my crush and tell him that I'm moving on from him. My ex messages my crush on fb. Now my crush is upset that I told my ex about him and he thinks that I'm just using him to get my ex jealous. I still really like this dude a lot and he tells me that he really likes me too. Despite the fact that he thinks I'm using him, he still hangs out with me and continues to be intimate with me but lately I feel like he's been acting distant. Do you think I should give him more of my attention to let him know that he's the one that I want? Or should I just fall back and let him chase me if he wants me?
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sexyandfamous View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 22 2014 at 9:03pm
You need to decide who you really want.
There was no need to let your ex know you had moved on - actions speak louder. Your ex sounds creepy for messaging your crush, I mean, who does that? Very immature. He wants you on a leash, regardless of your relationship status.

Your crush is still being intimate with you but he is not emotionally there anymore because of what your ex did. Stop having sex with him since he became colder. Now he is the one taking advantage of the pvssy but has no interest in a relationship.

By the way, did your crush show you what your ex wrote to him? Your ex may have told him that he is still fvcking you, which turned your crush off. Or told him you begged to get back with him.

If you still want your ex in your life - you will be in eternal emotional hell.
I you prefer to try with your crush - you need to gain his trust, which will be hard. Do not have sex with him, sex never keeps a man, regardless of how good it is.
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Midna View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Midna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 23 2014 at 7:16am
WOOOOO, GIRL, I AM SO GLAD YOU BROKE UP WITH THAT FOOL!! Hun, your past threads on that asshole were PAINFUL to read.


Anyway, I do think it was unnecessary of you to runtelldat to your ex about your crush. You've got to understand this guy is now your EX. Meaning he is no longer entitled to any investment in your life. You're paying attention to a new guy now so he should be someone you're looking for. Keep your eyes off guys of the past who have wronged you.

It may feel satisfying to gloat to a sh*t ex that you're moving on, but at the same time, you're giving them your attention to do this and it tells them that they still matter. Whether its positively or negatively, attention is still attention. Your ex wanted more attention by starting drama with your crush to sabotage what you two share! Also to maintain control over you!

The sweetest revenge is to forget someone who wronged you and live happily without them. TRUST. Approve

Don't bring up your ex to your crush. Don't talk to your ex, he's an ex.
You and your crush are still hanging out which is great. Continue. Be normal. Do the basics of courtship. You don't want to suddenly get overzealous and overly-doting. That would show desperation. Keep cool and flirt on~
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Marcelo22 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Marcelo22 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 28 2014 at 1:11pm
If I was the crush, I'd just hit it a few more times then move on. I don't deal with women who stay in contact with exes, that's a recipe for disaster. Leave your ex in the past (aka stop talking to the nicca) if u want to move on next time.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Blac1Chyna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 04 2014 at 8:33am
Fall back and let him chase you. and look for a few others.

once a dude you are sleeping with (not dating) becomes distant, the end is nigh.

he's turned off and probably no longer views you the same way anymore. i dont know if you can come back from that.  you didnt do anything wrong with him, idk what he misinterpreted but you are not wrong so if he is treating you distantly (but still using you for sex) then he is wrong.  i bet he didnt show you that message that was sent. smh
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote carabunga Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 04 2014 at 11:48am
Update: my crush and I are on good terms again. He is no longer acting distant and we actually talk and see each other way more often than we were when I wrote the post . I decided to fall back and let him chase me and it worked! Thanks for everyone's advice...even the critical one I no longer bring my ex up to my crush and vise versa but I noticed that my crush brings the ex up from time to time. Should I be concerned? He never did tell me what was in that message either..
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 04 2014 at 12:07pm
When he brings him up - what does he say? He may still be bitter about your ex messaging him crap, but just enjoy your time with your crush and make sure to remove your ex completely from your life.
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Midna View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Midna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 05 2014 at 7:34am
Pfft as long as you aren't bringing up your dumbass ex, I say don't worry. Your crush just might be still salty at your ex's messiness.

You sit pretty and clean and let your crush see for himself that he's an ex for a reason. ;D
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote khivey Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 13 2014 at 8:09pm
You have drama. 
Dudes don't care about your man let alone an ex, unless it is the baby's dad....he just knows you have drama and believes you and your ex are still caking, so he no longer takes you serious. If you try to hold onto him, he will just string you along until he meets a new chick.  Shouldn't have told your ex about your new boo...you obviously wanted to ruffle some feathers. 
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