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My brother-in-law took my sister's last name...

 
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Afrocentchic View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Afrocentchic Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 8:42am
Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

And it makes me respect him just a little bit less.

So one of my sister's just got married a few weeks ago. And her husband is taking her last name. I just find it...not very "manly". And I'm completely annoyed with myself for feeling this way because normally I'm so supportive of the non-traditional. I think part of it is that she appears to run all over him. For example, their wedding seemed to have nothing of him or his culture in it (he's from Chile).

Anyway, I'm surprised at myself for feeling this way. I feel kind of bad for not living up to my own ideals. Y'all ever experience that?
we've been conditioned to believe patriarchy is a norm and it's hard to undo years of that. Don't be to hard on yourself about it. Even in your description of their relationship, she seems to be running things however depending on religious/cultural views, he was doing the running it would be considered "headship" and therefore normal.
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*Belle*Femme* View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote *Belle*Femme* Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 8:53am
Originally posted by Junior Jr Junior Jr wrote:

Simp ass Brotha

jr.
He a simp because he took his WIFE's last name. OTAY
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote creole booty Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 8:57am
Originally posted by Gia2009 Gia2009 wrote:


Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:


Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:


Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:


Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

is being non-traditional an important part of your identity?


Yes, I think so. Though I have been trying to objectively evaluate why that is recently.

Funnily enough, this sister is the one who I'm least close with and being non-traditional is her identity. It's one of the reasons we don't get along...partly because I always feel like she's doing way too much. I don't want to be like that, that's for sure.


i think this what i was trying to ask


i dont think you need to examine yourself too much. i just think you don't like her & her shen.angiansLOL


Ain't that the truth.

She used to attend a white privilege support group. I think I'm still mad at her for that.


Stern Smile Are you guys white? This whole time I was thinking she's black!


Maysay is black but some of her fam is white.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote Ds2nice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 9:18am

Hey i don't think any less of the dude for changing his name.   So OP- do you think that its cool and justified for a woman to change her last name?? 



Edited by Ds2nice - Jan 29 2013 at 9:22am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JasmineE02 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 10:16am
Tell them to be careful.  I just saw this news article: http://news.yahoo.com/florida-man-accused-fraud-name-change-act-love-224309320.html

MIAMI (Reuters) - A newly married South Florida man who opted to take his wife's last name is fighting the state's Department of Motor Vehicles after it suspended his driving license on grounds of fraud.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote PurplePhase Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 10:57am
lol. po fella

I almost got caught in something like that with dmv when we tried to switch tags on a car registered to my husband with one registered to both of us. Apparently that's legal b/w spouses but when names are not the same you need to provide proof of marriage first.

eta: if your last names are the same, they assume you're married so no proof is needed. That's hilarious to me.


Edited by PurpleHaze - Jan 29 2013 at 10:58am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ladybird0724 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 12:01pm
Originally posted by JasmineE02 JasmineE02 wrote:

Tell them to be careful.  I just saw this news article: http://news.yahoo.com/florida-man-accused-fraud-name-change-act-love-224309320.html

MIAMI (Reuters) - A newly married South Florida man who opted to take his wife's last name is fighting the state's Department of Motor Vehicles after it suspended his driving license on grounds of fraud.

Dead


LOL I was just about to post this
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote maysay1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 3:07pm
Originally posted by Ds2nice Ds2nice wrote:

Hey i don't think any less of the dude for changing his name.   So OP- do you think that its cool and justified for a woman to change her last name?? 



I think it's fine either way. I know people where the wife changed, the husband changed, or they both took on new names.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote maysay1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 3:09pm
Originally posted by SweetNovember* SweetNovember* wrote:

Has anyone been called a hater yet?


Why would anyone be called a hater?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bebe88 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 5:18pm
So
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