Black Hair Media Forum Homepage
BHM BHM BHM
Forum Home Forum Home > Lets Talk > Talk, Talk, and More Talk
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - My brother-in-law took my sisters last name...
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Register Register  Login Login
Extensions Plus
 

My brother-in-law took my sisters last name...

 
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1 89101112>






Author
 Rating: Topic Rating: 8 Votes, Average 2.00  Topic Search Topic Search  Topic Options Topic Options
rickysrose View Drop Down
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Avatar

Joined: Jun 28 2006
Status: Offline
Points: 220875
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote rickysrose Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 11:23pm
I've had good vegan cake and im critical 

As far as the name bothering you, i don't think it's the non conformity that bothers you, it's probably the inequality that bothers you.   The fact that he didn't even get that, the name, that seems unjust.   If he was in control of everything or most and took your sister's name, I think you'd be pleased.  So youre still happily non conformist and still consistent, no worries


Back to Top
Sponsored Links


Back to Top
ScorpioLuv View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Jun 05 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 105883
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote ScorpioLuv Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 11:28pm
Is it a cultural thing? Bc we take the husband's name here in America but in some other countries, they take the wife's name. Heritage goes with the mother, its the reverse here. Too many kids wind up having daddies name and then mom gets divorce, so it looks crazy when it doesnt match. 
Back to Top
Gkisses View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Jul 12 2008
Location: CrackaIsland
Status: Online
Points: 397588
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote Gkisses Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 12:00am
I dont see what the big deal is 
Back to Top
modelbusiness82 View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: May 21 2008
Status: Offline
Points: 45056
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote modelbusiness82 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 12:12am
Originally posted by ScorpioLuv ScorpioLuv wrote:

Is it a cultural thing? Bc we take the husband's name here in America but in some other countries, they take the wife's name. Heritage goes with the mother, its the reverse here. Too many kids wind up having daddies name and then mom gets divorce, so it looks crazy when it doesnt match. 


Not necessarily...in PRican culture, even if the wife hyphenates her last name, the child can sometimes just keep the mother's last name. Maybe not so much for those born in the mainland, but for ppl who still live on the island, it's a normal custom.
Back to Top
EPITOME View Drop Down
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Avatar

Joined: Feb 08 2007
Location: Escarpin
Status: Offline
Points: 452259
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 4:13am
Originally posted by Qualified Qualified wrote:

I've tasted a vegan cake before, and in all honesty, if I had to compare it to anything I'd compare it to... Sweetened Recycled Brown Paper Towels.


lol. yuckers
Back to Top
SweetNovember* View Drop Down
Guest Group
Guest Group
Avatar

Joined: Dec 10 2012
Status: Offline
Points: 57505
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote SweetNovember* Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 4:16am
Has anyone been called a hater yet?
Back to Top
newdiva1 View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Dec 15 2006
Status: Online
Points: 206084
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote newdiva1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 4:22am
He's latino and he allowed this?  it's gotta be for papers.
 
 
*dappled shade*
Back to Top
Afrocentchic View Drop Down
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Avatar

Joined: Dec 04 2007
Status: Offline
Points: 27649
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Afrocentchic Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 8:42am
Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

And it makes me respect him just a little bit less.

So one of my sister's just got married a few weeks ago. And her husband is taking her last name. I just find it...not very "manly". And I'm completely annoyed with myself for feeling this way because normally I'm so supportive of the non-traditional. I think part of it is that she appears to run all over him. For example, their wedding seemed to have nothing of him or his culture in it (he's from Chile).

Anyway, I'm surprised at myself for feeling this way. I feel kind of bad for not living up to my own ideals. Y'all ever experience that?
we've been conditioned to believe patriarchy is a norm and it's hard to undo years of that. Don't be to hard on yourself about it. Even in your description of their relationship, she seems to be running things however depending on religious/cultural views, he was doing the running it would be considered "headship" and therefore normal.
Back to Top
*Belle*Femme* View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Nov 25 2008
Location: Seychelles
Status: Offline
Points: 141378
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote *Belle*Femme* Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 8:53am
Originally posted by Junior Jr Junior Jr wrote:

Simp ass Brotha

jr.
He a simp because he took his WIFE's last name. OTAY
Back to Top
creole booty View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Sep 26 2007
Location: US - Illinois
Status: Offline
Points: 60279
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote creole booty Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 8:57am
Originally posted by Gia2009 Gia2009 wrote:


Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:


Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:


Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:


Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

is being non-traditional an important part of your identity?


Yes, I think so. Though I have been trying to objectively evaluate why that is recently.

Funnily enough, this sister is the one who I'm least close with and being non-traditional is her identity. It's one of the reasons we don't get along...partly because I always feel like she's doing way too much. I don't want to be like that, that's for sure.


i think this what i was trying to ask


i dont think you need to examine yourself too much. i just think you don't like her & her shen.angiansLOL


Ain't that the truth.

She used to attend a white privilege support group. I think I'm still mad at her for that.


Stern Smile Are you guys white? This whole time I was thinking she's black!


Maysay is black but some of her fam is white.
Back to Top
Get Longer Healthier Faster Growing Hair
Get Healthier Stronger Longer Hair
Glam Twinz
Weave Connection
Human Hair Wigs
Wefting Training
Brazilian Hair
Brazilian Hair
Wig and Hair Extension on Amazon
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1 89101112>
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down