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My brother-in-law took my sisters last name...

 
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maysay1 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote maysay1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 6:28pm
Originally posted by Ladybird0724 Ladybird0724 wrote:

have you asked your BIL his reasons for taking her last name?

do you think you would have the same reaction if the couple was a stranger?

my friend's husband took her last name b/c he hated his last name and his father, and said he wanted a fresh start.


His answer was basically "why not?"...and she made it clear she wasn't changing her name.

I think I'd have the same reaction if it were a stranger. Though I'm sure my reaction is compounded by the fact that I know her ways.
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maysay1 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote maysay1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 6:29pm
Originally posted by FarraFace FarraFace wrote:

Is his last name obviously ethnic?

Is her last name ethnically ambiguous?

Do you think he has self hate issues and is trying to distance himself from his heritage?

If theses Qs have already been A & A'd, can I get pg#? TIA


His last name is obviously latino. Hers is ambiguous.

I don't think he has self-hate issues...at least I don't get that vibe from him. Then again, I haven't spent a lot of time with him since his english got better so I can't say that for sure.


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Eden. View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote Eden. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 6:34pm
maybe he dominated in the honeymoon suite and it all balanced out?
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FarraFace View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FarraFace Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 6:42pm
Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:



His last name is obviously latino. Hers is ambiguous.

I don't think he has self-hate issues...at least I don't get that vibe from him. Then again, I haven't spent a lot of time with him since his english got better so I can't say that for sure.



Ahhhh....

And I know you didn't mean for the bold to be funny, but I cackled aloud when I read it.
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JamCaygirl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote JamCaygirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 6:45pm
He probably think he and his offspring will have an easier time of it without having an immigrant name. Me and my bf have had the same discussion as his surname is weird... he got teased because of it and he would not want to put his kids through that
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JamCaygirl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (7) Thanks(7)   Quote JamCaygirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 6:46pm
No shade Maysay but I feel like you bring up your family is white in every thread....
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maysay1 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote maysay1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 6:50pm
Originally posted by JamCaygirl JamCaygirl wrote:

No shade Maysay but I feel like you bring up your family is white in every thread....


I probably do...but that's because some of things I say don't make sense unless I also mention that my family is white. I try to only point it out when it's relevant though.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote carolina cutie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 7:09pm
Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

Originally posted by Junior Jr Junior Jr wrote:

Did he do it for citizenship?

jr.


I feel horrible for saying this but, yes I believe he's marrying her for citizenship.
I believe he loves her and would be in a relationship with her regardless...but I think marriage wouldn't have happened so soon. They've only been together a year. He has an engineering degree and getting married is the fastest way to be able to work legally in this country. Plus my parents are paying for the lawyers and all that.

So, I think he's being smart and taking advantage of a good situation. Maybe their marriage will last forever...I hope it does.
Shoot, I'd take her last name too.Big smile
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_ConcreteRose_ View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote _ConcreteRose_ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 7:10pm
Originally posted by JasmineE02 JasmineE02 wrote:

I wouldn't lose respect for someone for this.  I can understand having a few psychological hurdles that are just really difficult to overcome.  There are a couple I really struggle with myself. Some of the other things mentioned in the thread make me wonder about the situation in general though. 
I agree.


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_ConcreteRose_ View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote _ConcreteRose_ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 7:15pm
Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:


why do you want to be this way?

is this something you really want to do or is it out of necessity orrrr the desire to be different?


Well many of my beliefs are just things I've evolved to based on my experiences and learning new things and what not.

I think I'm just trying to figure out how to be authentically myself...I'm realizing that means I will have contradictory beliefs/thoughts/behaviors. It's just sort of uncomfortable...but I guess growing is an uncomfortable process.
We are >>>here<<< don't be upset that you have some hypocrisy going on in your belief system. I do too, Everyone does . We're all human and imperfect. 

Edited by _ConcreteRose_ - Jan 28 2013 at 7:17pm
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