Sorry but I don't see how religion has anything to do with this situation.
(I have watched sooo many women living in terrible situations and then turning around trying to pray it all away. Useless - nothing ever changed. To me .. religion is for the weak and in particular it is a blight on the Black community because people lean on it for answers instead of drawing on their own internal resources - like using COMMON SENSE.)
Don't get me started. But I digress.
And no, you should not have updated this post if you were not prepared to receive feedback on this situation.
Bottom line - you still don't get it and you are still making excuses. I know this because you are still referring to that man as being 'separated'. Being separated means he was married but I think you think being separated makes some sort of difference. It doesn't so you need to take that word out of your vocabulary. That is an 'excuse' word. Also when you say it wasn't a 'wife at home 'cheating situation. Well, his wife's lifestyle has nothing to do with this situation! DUH! And then you again mention how young you were. Come on now .. you are repeating the same excuses.
Because geesh we were all young once ... but we all knew what it was to be with a married man. 54 year old women cheat too so age has nothing to do with it - it's an excuse.
The only thing you can say is:
'I made a mistake by getting involved with a married man and I compounded that mistake by bringing an innocent child into the world from that union and ... now I have to live with it'. Period
This is called ... taking responsibilty for your own actions. Anything else you have to say is like so much smoke up the chimney ... means absolutely nothing.
For your child, what you said above sounds good but ... you also need to leran to avoid these deadend situations with men and you need to prepare yourself for what you are going to tell this precious child about the circumstances of her parentage - because certainly this story will damage her self-esteem.
.... because children want to think that they were wanted
and were the product of a real, loving, legitimate relationship (even in this day in age). But no child wants to know that she is the product of a deceptive union where her mother just laid up with a married man and got knocked up.
Noooo this will make her feel bad about herself - like she was a .. mistake. This is major so you need to get your head around this issue.
Okay, you can ignore this post if I am telling you something you don't want to hear but this is YOUR child .. not mine.
Edited by Printer_Ink - Mar 15 2013 at 3:12am