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TrueFlawlessOne 
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 Posted: Nov 13 2009 at 9:02am |
 preciousone86 wrote:
I don't see where I poured any sugar on any of it. I was simply clarifying. Its not like I said "everything is peaches and roses". Glad to know that you recognized that I was responding specifically to you and your post. No one asked you if you thought that I was thinking of my baby's future. Because obviously you cannot make that judgement. And even if you could, I don't give a shyt what you think about it. Which is why I didn't ask. You can respond if you like, but I will not be discussing this particular aspect of it any longer. |
You posted your life situation on a message board which means that you clearly wanted others opinions. If you didnt want anyone to know, give an opinion, or judge then you should have kept your business off of the web and especially off of a message board. You not coming back does not make what you are doing right.
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preciousone86
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Posted: Nov 13 2009 at 1:21pm |
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What I said was, I posted a specific situation that happened 8 months ago and asked for advice. Granted. I never asked for advice on my pregnancy or what I think of my child. I only refered to it because it was referenced. I posted in the pregnancy due date thread in the pregnancy section. That is why I didn't appreciate that comment. Its fine to have your opinion on the situation that I posted. I ASKED for it. But I didn't ask for the other. Also, I don't feel that what I am doing is "wrong". Nether does anyone else who is close to it and knows all the facts.But like I said, you're entitled to your opinion. I asked for it. I didn't say that I was leaving. I said that I would not participate or have anything to do with a conversation about how I wasn't thinking of my child. Because that comment was COMPLETELY unfounded and unnecessary.
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Splendor
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Posted: Nov 13 2009 at 1:52pm |
preciousone86 wrote:
What I said was, I posted a specific situation that happened 8 months ago and asked for advice. Granted. I never asked for advice on my pregnancy or what I think of my child. I only refered to it because it was referenced. I posted in the pregnancy due date thread in the pregnancy section. That is why I didn't appreciate that comment. Its fine to have your opinion on the situation that I posted. I ASKED for it. But I didn't ask for the other. Also, I don't feel that what I am doing is "wrong". Nether does anyone else who is close to it and knows all the facts.But like I said, you're entitled to your opinion. I asked for it. I didn't say that I was leaving. I said that I would not participate or have anything to do with a conversation about how I wasn't thinking of my child. Because that comment was COMPLETELY unfounded and unnecessary. |
Obviously some people are going to comment on that b/c you went from stating your boyfriend was still in love with his wife to now having his baby. People close to you sometimes aren't always objective but we are looking from the outside and don't know all of the facts but what we do know makes this situation seem very sad. We've all made mistakes and most of the people here were trying to keep you from making another. I am not saying your child is a mistake but having a baby for a married man isn't a wise decision. I personally wouldn't have any peace in MY heart if I were in your shoes b/c I strive to live my life in a manner that is pleasing to God. There just seems to be a vicious cycle with us black women making bad decisions regarding our choice of MEN! However, I sincerely wish you and yours the best.
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TrueFlawlessOne
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Posted: Nov 13 2009 at 9:53pm |
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Well at the end of the day I will am not the one living in your shoes. You will have to live with that situation. I just hope that you know that you are worth so much more than that. You deserve better than what you have. Good luck in life.
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Sensationnel
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Posted: Nov 14 2009 at 11:38pm |
itsme916 wrote:
well damn  |
This
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preciousone86
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Posted: Mar 12 2013 at 10:21pm |
MINKA wrote:
So sad..another precious life (no pun intended) side tracked and disabled by low self esteem.
I'm wishing you good luck preciousone for the baby's sake and hope that soon enough you will find yourself again and do whats best for your child. |
Update:
In hindsight, it was not low self esteem that caused me to be with him. More like naivety, stupidity and some sort of belief that I could "save him" by giving him that love that he "deserved". The divorce did go through, and our daughter is now almost 3 years old. We are however, not together because after I had her and I snapped out of "love" I realized that he in no way deserved me (for various reasons other than the one that holds the title of this thread. He's active in her life, and he isn't in mine(despite his efforts) and the ex isn't around.
It was beyond a serious lapse of judgement. I'm better.
P.S. I only pulled this back up because I haven't been here in a while and when I logged in I saw an unread (nasty) PM from 2009 referring to this post.
Edited by preciousone86 - Mar 12 2013 at 10:23pm
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miana79
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Posted: Mar 13 2013 at 1:35am |
preciousone86 wrote:
MINKA wrote:
So sad..another precious life (no pun intended) side tracked and disabled by low self esteem.
I'm wishing you good luck preciousone for the baby's sake and hope that soon enough you will find yourself again and do whats best for your child. |
Update:
In hindsight, it was not low self esteem that caused me to be with him. More like naivety, stupidity and some sort of belief that I could "save him" by giving him that love that he "deserved". The divorce did go through, and our daughter is now almost 3 years old. We are however, not together because after I had her and I snapped out of "love" I realized that he in no way deserved me (for various reasons other than the one that holds the title of this thread. He's active in her life, and he isn't in mine(despite his efforts) and the ex isn't around.
It was beyond a serious lapse of judgement. I'm better.
P.S. I only pulled this back up because I haven't been here in a while and when I logged in I saw an unread (nasty) PM from 2009 referring to this post.
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thanks for the update! I am glad you guys are co parenting and he is in the child's life!
you need to update your avi it's been 3 years... 
Edited by miana79 - Mar 13 2013 at 1:36am
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Printer_Ink
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Posted: Mar 13 2013 at 2:36am |
Well, you had to learn what the rest of us already know which is that .. getting involved with a married man (for ANY reason) is a bad idea. BAD. Now you have a child that is the product of this mess that has to live rest of her/his life knowing this ... which will help enable her/him to repeat the same pattern. Not beating you up ... because you have learned your (difficult) lesson which does comes from low self-esteem which the rest of us know too.. whether you want to admit it or not. Cautionary tale to others: Stats: More than 50% of marriages ... fail. This is mainly because people hook up and hit the sack too fast so they get committed before they find out if they are really compatable. However, if you get married to someone where the relationship originated in INFIDELITY ... guess what the divorce rate is? GUESS? It's 2%!!!!!!! Why? Well there are many reasons but no matter how you cut it ... YOU KNOW that the guy is AT LEAST not trustworthy .. because he CHEATED to get with you! DUH! And he knows that somethingf is off with you if you will go with a married man - even if that marrided man whas him! All this crap about him not being in love with the wife etc .. blah, blah, blah means nothing. You can nevvvver get involved with a man that is married. Period.
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preciousone86
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Posted: Mar 13 2013 at 7:01pm |
Printer_Ink wrote:
Well, you had to learn what the rest of us already know which is that .. getting involved with a married man (for ANY reason) is a bad idea. BAD. Now you have a child that is the product of this mess that has to live rest of her/his life knowing this ... which will help enable her/him to repeat the same pattern.Not beating you up ... because you have learned your (difficult) lesson which does comes from low self-esteem which the rest of us know too.. whether you want to admit it or not. Cautionary tale to others: Stats: More than 50% of marriages ... fail. This is mainly because people hook up and hit the sack too fast so they get committed before they find out if they are really compatable. However, if you get married to someone where the relationship originated in INFIDELITY ... guess what the divorce rate is? GUESS? It's 2%!!!!!!! Why? Well there are many reasons but no matter how you cut it ... YOU KNOW that the guy is AT LEAST not trustworthy .. because he CHEATED to get with you! DUH! And he knows that somethingf is off with you if you will go with a married man - even if that marrided man whas him! All this crap about him not being in love with the wife etc .. blah, blah, blah means nothing. You can nevvvver get involved with a man that is married. Period. |
While I wouldn't ever be involved with someone who is separated again. Your whole above post actually wasn't what happened OR how to turned out.
He was married for a few weeks to someone that he met a few months prior and then he was separated for two years before we came back in contact with each other. Initially I didn't even know that he was separated because he lied and said that he was divorced until we ran into her at a club and he then later told me that they were actually separated. Although this WAS a case of me stupidly staying. It was not a case where I was sleeping around/messing around with someone who was at home with his wife. It was stupid all around, but not in the way that you mentioned. I also doubt that my daughter will even know about it unless she inquires since they are now divorced and she has since had a child and is about to be remarried.
That's neither here nor there though.
Edited by preciousone86 - Mar 13 2013 at 7:13pm
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preciousone86
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Posted: Mar 13 2013 at 7:15pm |
miana79 wrote:
preciousone86 wrote:
MINKA wrote:
So sad..another precious life (no pun intended) side tracked and disabled by low self esteem.
I'm wishing you good luck preciousone for the baby's sake and hope that soon enough you will find yourself again and do whats best for your child. |
Update:
In hindsight, it was not low self esteem that caused me to be with him. More like naivety, stupidity and some sort of belief that I could "save him" by giving him that love that he "deserved". The divorce did go through, and our daughter is now almost 3 years old. We are however, not together because after I had her and I snapped out of "love" I realized that he in no way deserved me (for various reasons other than the one that holds the title of this thread. He's active in her life, and he isn't in mine(despite his efforts) and the ex isn't around.
It was beyond a serious lapse of judgement. I'm better.
P.S. I only pulled this back up because I haven't been here in a while and when I logged in I saw an unread (nasty) PM from 2009 referring to this post.
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thanks for the update! I am glad you guys are co parenting and he is in the child's life!
you need to update your avi it's been 3 years...
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I'll do that now. Lol
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