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Mom hates natural hair loves straight hair

 
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mozambiquegirl View Drop Down
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    Posted: May 06 2013 at 5:41pm
My mom hates natural hair. We have african neigbors and the women have natural hair she laughs at them for being 'bush women'. She says natural hair looks unkempt, mess, unpresentable and makes people look down on you. She relaxes my hair and forced me to wear straight weaves and extensions, or braids. I now realized that I don't like the look of straight hair on me - I just don't. So when shopping with friends I bought a kinky curly lace front and I loved it. It looked great on me and I felt my confidence boost by 50000%.

When I opened the doors she was kissing her teeth and telling me I looked stupid and the hair looked silly. This was a few weeks ago and she still berates me about the lace front. She just completely hates natural hair. When I told her relaxers damage your hair she said it was a lie and was defending them.

Why does she dislike it so much? And has anyone had a similar experience? How can I cope with it because your mother's opinion is always important to you?

[Someone please repost in TTT new thread for me thank you]
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AmiliaCabral View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AmiliaCabral Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 06 2013 at 8:27pm
Can you move out?
I have locs and my mom hated them for the first five years too. She said they make me look lazy and uneducated. She even said I was disrespectful growing them. I love ma but I'm a grown ass woman and I don't need her to support my decisions.
 
Your mom can learn to like how you wear your hair or she can't, but you don't need her critique for everything.
 
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Malwina View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Malwina Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 06 2013 at 9:32pm
forces me to wear weaves? damn i wish my mom would do that (and finance that)

this is so a troll
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rell85 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote rell85 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 06 2013 at 9:59pm
everybody not going to like everything. show her videos of natural hair on youtube so she can see with natural hair there are many choices. parents can do whatever they want just something you have to take while living with them. when you move or turn 18 which ever happen first go natural if you still feel the same way.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JoliePoufiasse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 06 2013 at 10:05pm
As long as YOU like it, stick to your guns. It's your hair, your body. You need to stand up to her and develop your own identity. It's funny to me because where I live, the African girls HATE natural hair with a passion (unless it's in braids). I had some twists put in a few weeks ago and the stylist (who is Ghanaian and Togolese) went into a tirade about how I can't walk around with my hair that "pure" because I'm a minority. She said that twist-outs are for mixed girls. She was trying to convince me that this whole natural trend is not right. I was like I've done the relaxed, weaved-up thing most of my teenage and adult like. I like my healthy, natural hair.
 
My own mother wasn't too happy with me going natural at first. Now she's constantly admonishing me to never relax again, lol. She came around when she saw the length I gained.


Edited by JoliePoufiasse - May 06 2013 at 10:10pm
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Dapheny View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Dapheny Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 06 2013 at 11:49pm
my mom hates natural hair too.
that doesnt stop me from rocking twistouts Smile
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Allure. View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Allure. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 07 2013 at 2:19am
She sounds like the the millions of other old school black folks brainwashed to believe our natural hair is unacceptable. At that point in her life, it'll be hard to convince her otherwise. All you can do is stay confident and true to yourself, and ignore the ignorance.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Prazol60 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 07 2013 at 3:36am
We had this before...troll
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mozambiquegirl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote mozambiquegirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 07 2013 at 7:34am
wtf

some people are simply stupid lmao

thanks to those who helped
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 07 2013 at 9:18am
Maybe this a troll post but years ago I went to Ghana, Ivory Coast and Senegal.
I noticed that the little girls in grade school wore their hair like mine .. a little afro. Then the teenaged girls had the long braids and the adult women mostly had permed hair and sometimes braids as well.
 
People said they knew I was not from there because of my hairstyle. I was very surprised .. then I thought .. come to think of it .. I think I was the only adult woman I saw in the cities like Accra etc with an afro.
 
I have several African girlfriends that either wear a straight haired wig or braids .. and none of them like my new big curly kinky lace front afro. Shocked I guess they are wishing I would wear my straight lace front .. but the kinky curlys looks so real!
 
I think only black folks hate kinky hair - most everyone else I know is not black and they love it.
 
Anyway - your mother is OFF for berating your hair. Do what you want to do anyway. Ain't you grown?
 
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